Glen Tickle - Dr. Mario and his sad fireside chats

[00:00:00] Hello, I am Kevin Ryan and I'm the host of this podcast which is called Tyrant In Training.

[00:00:05] This is an improv comedy podcast where guests become the ruler of their own island and their own people and they can be as good or evil as they wish to be.

[00:00:11] Today's guest is the comedian Glen Tickle who is not only a very funny comedian but actually happens to be one of the best Dr. Mario players in the world.

[00:00:18] Which he ended up top 10 in the world championships.

[00:00:22] So in this episode Glen is also known as Emperor Glen of Buckaroo.

[00:00:25] Buckaroo is obviously the home of the best Dr. Mario players in the world and it's also an island where the Emperor forces everyone to listen to his fireside chat podcast every Sunday about how sad he is that all his guests put their phones on loudspeaker in public.

[00:00:38] Here is one out of context quote and also a bit about what happens when someone knocks on Glen's door.

[00:00:45] Who would work at Applebee's or whatever? Like toddlers? No, they're too little to carry fahinas.

[00:00:52] A knock on your door. Knock, knock, knock of your apartment I guess. Knock, knock, knock. Knock, knock, knock.

[00:00:58] Knock, knock, knock. Hello.

[00:00:59] Knock, knock, knock. Why are you knocking on the door? Wait, what? No, I'm...

[00:01:03] Yeah, welcome.

[00:01:04] Oh, hello. Hi, I'm Paul. Sorry, I didn't... When I was knocking on the door you said knock, knock, knock and I assumed you were knocking on the door as well. On the inside.

[00:01:13] No, I was just repeating it because it's a sound that I heard. So...

[00:01:17] Oh, okay. Hi, I'm Paul. I'm the finance...

[00:01:20] Sometimes you hear a sound and you say the sound back. Is that just me? Hi, Paul.

[00:01:23] Don't forget you can subscribe to the Tyrant in Training Podcast everywhere you find podcasts online. You can follow the podcast on social media at Tyrant Podcast on YouTube and TikTok and Instagram.

[00:01:33] I'm also online. I'm on Instagram, treads and bluesky at Kev Ryan person. And there's a website which is TyrantinTraining.podcast page. So there you go. And enjoy.

[00:01:46] Okay. Okay. Ben Tickle, I'm gonna get this out of the room quickly. The whole second name, Tickle, and you're a comedian. How often does that come up?

[00:01:56] Constantly. If I... I talk about it on stage a lot because I feel like if I don't, people assume it is a stage name. Yeah.

[00:02:03] And if it were a stage name, it's a bad one. So I'm like, if people think I did this to myself, then I shouldn't be trusted as a comedian.

[00:02:15] Yeah. So I have to like prove to them that it's my real name, which I've been doing comedy for 15 years now. I would love to not do jokes about it anymore, but I have to because I'm not famous yet.

[00:02:30] So people still don't know. Like when I start the show, usually that's when people are meeting me for the first time.

[00:02:37] Yeah. Would you ever... Did you ever think to like just lean into it and go, yeah, this is my brand. My real name is actually Murphy.

[00:02:46] Yeah. Like really, like yeah, really go for it and see.

[00:02:50] I don't know how common it is in comedy in Ireland for people to use stage names, but it comes like it kind of...

[00:03:00] It'll be popular here for a minute.

[00:03:02] Yeah.

[00:03:03] And then kind of die off.

[00:03:04] And I don't like it because every time it gets like people start doing it again, it's like, no, come on, stop.

[00:03:11] It's going to make it harder for me.

[00:03:12] Yeah.

[00:03:13] A comedian with a dumb name.

[00:03:14] Yeah.

[00:03:14] But I also know comedians who use stage names that are just a different regular name because they work in education or something.

[00:03:22] And they're worried about like their principal finding out that they're doing comedy on the side.

[00:03:30] So there's a guy.

[00:03:32] I don't remember.

[00:03:35] If his real name was Mike or his fake name was Dave, which one it was.

[00:03:40] But like I knew this dude for like a decade.

[00:03:42] And then he's like, oh, yeah, I'm just gonna start using my real name.

[00:03:44] But it was they were both just pretty boring white guy.

[00:03:48] Oh, yeah.

[00:03:49] They didn't they didn't go into a bit.

[00:03:52] There's a lot that'll be like, oh, I'm like, I'm like Johnny Chuckles, the comedian.

[00:03:56] And it's just tell people your name, man.

[00:03:59] Yeah.

[00:04:00] I hate it.

[00:04:01] It makes me uncomfortable.

[00:04:03] Johnny Chuckles sounds like he should be on a like stage in Britain smoking a lot of cigarettes, kind of complaining about the good old days.

[00:04:11] You know, something in 1989.

[00:04:14] And it's just it's never been the same for Johnny.

[00:04:16] Where you have to say like, no, Johnny was progressive back then.

[00:04:20] Yeah.

[00:04:20] At the time.

[00:04:21] At the time he was very progressive.

[00:04:24] Now, very good views.

[00:04:26] Yeah.

[00:04:26] Give the man credit.

[00:04:27] Yeah.

[00:04:29] OK, so if you are a tyrant of your own country or just a ruler of your own country, are you sticking with Glenn Tickle, which is a fine name?

[00:04:36] I don't have any issue besides the ha ha comedian.

[00:04:39] Ooh.

[00:04:40] But it doesn't instill fear.

[00:04:42] And I don't know if you want to go that route.

[00:04:43] Right.

[00:04:44] That would be hard.

[00:04:45] I think I would keep it, but I would I would have to give myself a title.

[00:04:50] Oh, God.

[00:04:51] Yeah.

[00:04:51] Yeah.

[00:04:52] Yeah.

[00:04:52] Yeah.

[00:04:52] You're not going to just have people call you Glenn.

[00:04:55] No.

[00:04:56] Nobody says Tickles.

[00:04:57] Which is like why.

[00:04:58] Say what?

[00:04:59] Nobody says Tickles.

[00:05:01] Like nobody adds an S onto it.

[00:05:02] I have a lot of siblings and they were like cooler in school than me and like played sports.

[00:05:08] So a lot of their sports friends would just call them by their last name or they would shorten it to Tick.

[00:05:13] I never got that because I never really played sports.

[00:05:16] Yeah.

[00:05:17] Everybody just called me Glenn my whole life.

[00:05:19] Yeah.

[00:05:19] But now that my kids like I'm meeting their friends and they're they're like, oh, do I call you Mr.

[00:05:26] I'm like, you can just call me Glenn.

[00:05:27] It's totally fine.

[00:05:29] Other six year old.

[00:05:30] You don't have to worry about it.

[00:05:31] The more I think about a Mr.

[00:05:32] Tickle sounds like like a horror villain, like a horror character.

[00:05:37] Like if you just saw Tickle as a movie name, you'd go, that's definitely a horror.

[00:05:42] Yeah.

[00:05:42] Yeah.

[00:05:43] I worked as a substitute teacher for years, too.

[00:05:45] So I would regularly have to introduce myself to a different group of little kids as Mr.

[00:05:50] Tickle.

[00:05:50] And it never got easier.

[00:05:52] I did that job for years.

[00:05:53] But like every morning, the only thing that got easier about it was like I usually just worked in the one school district.

[00:05:59] So after a while, all the kids knew me and were just like over it.

[00:06:03] But, you know, every every year there's a new batch of kids coming in.

[00:06:09] And they're like, watch out.

[00:06:10] Mr.

[00:06:10] Tickle is coming to our school this year.

[00:06:12] Yeah.

[00:06:13] I found out there was a kid once who didn't think I was real.

[00:06:18] He thought like his friends were talking about how they had the substitute name, Mr.

[00:06:22] Tickle.

[00:06:22] Yeah.

[00:06:23] And they're like, that's not there's no way that doesn't exist.

[00:06:27] And I'm like, I was like a cryptid, basically.

[00:06:30] Like I'm Bigfoot to this child.

[00:06:32] And then he walked into class one day and I'm just sitting there at the front.

[00:06:36] My name's up on the board.

[00:06:37] Big angry face on you.

[00:06:38] You're real?

[00:06:40] Is that when you're like, sit down.

[00:06:42] You're really angry at him.

[00:06:44] He's like, my God.

[00:06:45] I think I was more confused.

[00:06:47] I was like, what?

[00:06:48] Yeah.

[00:06:48] Of course.

[00:06:48] No one's ever questioned whether I existed to my face or not.

[00:06:52] And it's like, yeah, I'm a real guy.

[00:06:55] The audacity of that child.

[00:06:57] Just pick him up by the neck.

[00:06:59] Yeah.

[00:07:00] It was more, it was more.

[00:07:01] It's like you, I'm like, I, I've never thought about it, but yeah, I guess I'm, I guess I'm

[00:07:05] real.

[00:07:06] Plus I didn't really, uh, I wasn't that interested in pursuing it as a full-time job.

[00:07:12] So I, I wasn't that interested, uh, which I, there was, there's a website in the U S where

[00:07:21] people can rate their teachers.

[00:07:23] Oh yeah.

[00:07:24] And they, there was like an offshoot one for substitutes and I checked, I didn't know

[00:07:28] about it until years after I was done with that job, but I had two ratings.

[00:07:33] One was five stars and one was one star, but they both basically said the same thing.

[00:07:39] They're like, he doesn't care.

[00:07:42] He clearly doesn't want to be here.

[00:07:44] He's just sitting at the desk, uh, writing jokes.

[00:07:48] And it was like, they were just different versions of the same thing.

[00:07:52] But one student was like incensed that I wouldn't take substitute teaching more seriously.

[00:07:57] And the other kid was like, this is awesome.

[00:07:59] This guy barely cares.

[00:08:01] Like I wouldn't let kids burn the building down, but you know.

[00:08:04] Yeah.

[00:08:04] As long as you know, you're getting a paycheck at end of week and the school, you're fine.

[00:08:08] Yeah.

[00:08:08] That's all I need.

[00:08:09] I'm meeting the bare minimum, but other teachers would tell me all the time that I was

[00:08:12] very good at substitute teaching.

[00:08:14] So apparently most subs do not meet the bare minimum.

[00:08:18] I'm like, oh, I didn't realize I could set this bar even lower than I already have.

[00:08:22] Are you worried that the five out of five rating was actually from a teacher then?

[00:08:27] No.

[00:08:28] Cause I think they both mentioned that they had me as a, as a sub.

[00:08:33] Uh, but I, yeah, like the, the people in the principal's office or whoever who like

[00:08:39] arranged for subs and stuff, uh, all, all regarded me well in my profession.

[00:08:47] That'll do.

[00:08:49] It's pretty easy.

[00:08:50] It's pretty easy to just show up, check the notes that the teacher left, and then just

[00:08:54] make sure you have the same number of children at the end of class as you do at the beginning.

[00:08:59] I think I'd end up if I was a sub substitute teacher, I'd only end up like going in going,

[00:09:04] all right, lads, I'm here for whatever, a couple of weeks work with me here.

[00:09:07] How can we do least we can without looking like we're doing nothing?

[00:09:12] Well, it's weird.

[00:09:12] Cause it goes, a lot of the other subs didn't like going to the preschool.

[00:09:17] Yeah.

[00:09:18] Um, cause they're like, I don't want to like change diapers or whatever, but there were

[00:09:23] teachers aides in the room that would handle all of that stuff.

[00:09:27] You don't do that.

[00:09:27] So you're basically just entertaining four-year-olds for a couple hours.

[00:09:31] Like that's easy.

[00:09:33] When I was, I'm, I'm one of five kids.

[00:09:36] My mom ran a daycare center.

[00:09:37] I was like, I love little kids.

[00:09:38] Yeah, it'll be great.

[00:09:39] So I would go there all the time.

[00:09:41] I would also get sent.

[00:09:42] There was a, it was called the alternative high school where they would send the students

[00:09:47] who were about to get expelled to give them like one last chance to get back in the district's

[00:09:53] good graces.

[00:09:55] And they would, other subs wouldn't want to go there.

[00:09:57] Cause like, Oh, I hear there's fights all the time.

[00:09:59] They would send me cause I'm six feet tall.

[00:10:02] And they're like, yeah, whatever.

[00:10:02] Just go be a tall man in a building.

[00:10:04] Yeah.

[00:10:06] But the students who show up there are the ones trying to get back to the regular school.

[00:10:11] They're giving it a go.

[00:10:11] Yeah.

[00:10:12] Yeah.

[00:10:12] Yeah.

[00:10:12] The, like the type that would really be a problem.

[00:10:16] Like once they get sent there, they're like, Oh no, I'll just, I'll just also stop coming

[00:10:19] to this.

[00:10:20] And yeah, it's, they're all working on their own things.

[00:10:23] So you're not running through lessons.

[00:10:25] Occasionally somebody would ask you for help.

[00:10:27] That was the easiest.

[00:10:28] Yeah.

[00:10:29] Yeah.

[00:10:29] Do you, if you're, if you have your own country, which you'll set up, do you want it to be like

[00:10:34] a pre country then with a load of preschoolers?

[00:10:37] We can have whatever type of citizens you want.

[00:10:40] Oh, I think just from a practical standpoint, that would be a nightmare.

[00:10:44] Okay.

[00:10:45] Okay.

[00:10:45] Yeah.

[00:10:45] You don't have to change diapers for all of them.

[00:10:48] It's, you can, you can have help.

[00:10:50] Well, it's just who would, who would work at Applebee's or whatever, like toddlers?

[00:10:55] No, they're too little to carry fajitas.

[00:10:58] They'll burn their little.

[00:10:58] That is, that's true.

[00:11:00] That's true.

[00:11:01] I just, I just, cause you seem to say, you know, it was pretty Andy for the preschool

[00:11:06] work.

[00:11:06] So yeah, no.

[00:11:07] Okay.

[00:11:07] We'll do regular citizens are living in your country.

[00:11:10] I think we keep the age distribution, pretty.

[00:11:12] Basically the same.

[00:11:14] Okay.

[00:11:15] And we'll keep it male, female above 50% each, whatever the, all the same.

[00:11:20] Yeah.

[00:11:21] I don't, I don't think we need to mess with the statistics too much.

[00:11:24] Okay.

[00:11:25] Okay.

[00:11:25] I think like I, I'm the question is like, basically if I was put in charge of America

[00:11:33] where I live now, how would I, how would I operate?

[00:11:40] Quite differently than.

[00:11:42] Well, it has been historic, I guess.

[00:11:45] But if it is like a, if it is a fictional country, we're building from the ground up

[00:11:49] Sim City style.

[00:11:51] That might, that might affect some of my answers.

[00:11:54] Well, yeah.

[00:11:55] Cause what, what, what I do is we set up a fictional country.

[00:11:59] So we just make up an island somewhere in the world and we put it there and you can decide

[00:12:02] everything.

[00:12:03] Cause you know what?

[00:12:03] A lot of people come onto the show and they're from America.

[00:12:05] When I say, do you want to take over America?

[00:12:07] They say, no, we're doing fine.

[00:12:08] Country's doing great.

[00:12:09] So yeah.

[00:12:11] I don't know about, I get, there's no material out of it.

[00:12:14] So I don't put people through it anymore.

[00:12:16] So are you, are you good at geography?

[00:12:19] No.

[00:12:21] As is my, my country's way.

[00:12:23] I mean, I think I'm better than average, but I don't think.

[00:12:26] Well, what I'll do handily enough and I'll do it kind of even seamlessly is if I give

[00:12:31] you a map.

[00:12:33] Sure.

[00:12:33] Here we are.

[00:12:34] Then you can tell me where would you put your island in the world?

[00:12:37] Cause we can't put it on top of a country.

[00:12:39] Unfortunately, that's not allowed anymore.

[00:12:43] Oh, see now I'm trying, I'm just trying to think of like climate wise.

[00:12:48] Yeah.

[00:12:48] Yeah.

[00:12:48] Would you be warmer?

[00:12:49] Nice.

[00:12:50] Cold or what would you be?

[00:12:54] I am from New Jersey here in the United States.

[00:12:58] I would put it off the coast of the Jersey shore.

[00:13:00] You don't want to stay close to home if you want to pop over.

[00:13:03] Yeah.

[00:13:04] Okay.

[00:13:05] I'm just going to, is it around, it's around there, right?

[00:13:08] Yeah.

[00:13:09] It's that little bit hanging down.

[00:13:12] Oh, this bit hanging down.

[00:13:13] Like, yeah.

[00:13:14] Oh yeah.

[00:13:16] Yeah.

[00:13:17] Not that it's a terribly accurate.

[00:13:19] Yeah.

[00:13:19] Map, but I believe that little peninsula there.

[00:13:24] So if we put an island there and we say that 10 million citizens will arrive there and live

[00:13:29] there, which is that too many or is that okay?

[00:13:33] I think I can handle 10 million.

[00:13:34] 10 million.

[00:13:35] Yeah.

[00:13:35] You don't have to talk to them all like you can.

[00:13:36] Right.

[00:13:37] Meet some of them, but yeah, no, just, it's fine.

[00:13:39] So do you have any idea what the name of your country would be?

[00:13:44] It can't be tickle land, right?

[00:13:46] Like that's, that's both too on the nose.

[00:13:49] And I don't think anyone would want to live there.

[00:13:51] Whoever shows up.

[00:13:52] And if you decide that's the name of your island or whatever name you want, people are

[00:13:56] showing up willingly.

[00:13:58] I'll just put that out there.

[00:14:00] I would, I, so I don't know if you, if you play a lot of video games when the pandemic

[00:14:07] hit around the time animal crossing new horizon came out.

[00:14:12] Yes.

[00:14:13] And when I got that, I started an island, not realizing that basically every cartridge

[00:14:22] of that game is an island, not every player's profile.

[00:14:26] Yes.

[00:14:26] So I started the island and I named it after my favorite movie and I just called it Buckaroo

[00:14:32] because my, my favorite movie is the adventure of Buckaroo Banzai across the eighth dimension.

[00:14:37] Okay.

[00:14:38] So I would just, I would stick with that.

[00:14:40] I would call the island Buckaroo.

[00:14:41] Just Buckaroo, not even Buckaroo Island.

[00:14:43] Just Buckaroo.

[00:14:44] Just Buckaroo.

[00:14:45] Awesome.

[00:14:46] Okay.

[00:14:46] Um, yeah, no, we're all going to Buckaroo.

[00:14:49] Um, it sounds like it should be like a city in Eastern Europe.

[00:14:54] Yeah.

[00:14:55] Yeah.

[00:14:56] That's fine.

[00:14:56] Um, Australia maybe.

[00:14:58] What will, or yeah.

[00:14:59] Um, so if we're living on Buckaroo, uh, what would your, you said you needed an official

[00:15:05] title.

[00:15:05] Do you have any idea what your official title would be?

[00:15:08] I was trying to think of something more creative, but I just think Emperor is like, you wouldn't

[00:15:14] go with King.

[00:15:16] No.

[00:15:18] Cause I think, I think Emperor has a little more authority behind it.

[00:15:23] Yeah.

[00:15:23] It might just be because, uh, of Star Wars, but like that's the top guy.

[00:15:30] So you're going with your favorite movie as the name of your country and your favorite

[00:15:34] character as the name of you.

[00:15:37] Well, the Emperor is not my favorite character.

[00:15:39] The best character.

[00:15:40] Uh, although in, in Buckaroo Banzai, there is, there's Emperor Lord John Warfran.

[00:15:45] Okay.

[00:15:46] Uh, I'm not familiar with the movie, but I, I, I would say, okay.

[00:15:49] Most people aren't.

[00:15:50] Don't worry about it.

[00:15:51] By the way, would you just ask, um, since you're the ruler of this, this whole thing,

[00:15:56] um, are you okay with compliments?

[00:15:58] Cause I can be very sycophantic and say you're brilliant and all your ideas are fantastic.

[00:16:02] Or.

[00:16:03] Oh yeah.

[00:16:03] I like that now, even without my own country.

[00:16:05] Brilliant.

[00:16:06] Yeah.

[00:16:06] No, that's why.

[00:16:07] So I, I watched the movie, you know, yeah, I remember that part.

[00:16:10] That's brilliant.

[00:16:11] Um, so you're getting, yeah, I think Emperor, I don't think you can go any level up from

[00:16:16] Emperor except God.

[00:16:17] Right.

[00:16:17] Like there's other, there's back to Star Wars.

[00:16:20] Like you can be a King of a planet or whatever in Star Wars, but you still got to answer them.

[00:16:24] You know?

[00:16:25] Yeah.

[00:16:26] Um, there was, oh, I'm blanking on his name.

[00:16:29] There was a guy, uh, I think it was late 19th century in San Francisco who declared himself

[00:16:37] emperor of San Francisco and that it was its own, uh, sovereign nation.

[00:16:44] Right.

[00:17:13] Right.

[00:17:15] Of San Francisco.

[00:17:16] Like he doesn't have social media.

[00:17:18] Do you know what I mean?

[00:17:18] If someone posts that now.

[00:17:19] Did I say 18th by mistake?

[00:17:21] I think I might've said 18th century by mistake.

[00:17:23] I meant not in the 1800s.

[00:17:24] Yeah.

[00:17:25] Yeah.

[00:17:25] Yeah.

[00:17:25] Yeah.

[00:17:25] Yeah.

[00:17:25] No, no.

[00:17:26] You said, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:17:27] Cause 18th century, I don't think they were out there.

[00:17:30] But that's what I mean.

[00:17:30] Even 1800 and even if it was 1899, he doesn't have social media or radio to get that around.

[00:17:38] Like he has to go around personally and tell people.

[00:17:40] He was taking ads.

[00:17:42] I think he had like some inheritance and he, he was just a rich, crazy man.

[00:17:49] There's a lot worse ways to be rich and crazy.

[00:17:51] Oh yeah.

[00:17:52] As we've seen.

[00:17:52] Are you Emperor Glenn or Emperor Tickle or Emperor Glenn Tickle?

[00:17:57] I would go with Emperor Glenn.

[00:17:58] Emperor Glenn.

[00:17:59] I think Emperor Glenn the first.

[00:18:01] Oh, so you're planning more Emperor Glens.

[00:18:05] Well, you just want to cement it, you know, you.

[00:18:08] Okay.

[00:18:08] You gotta, you gotta imply that there's going to be more.

[00:18:12] You just like the Roman numeral beside it.

[00:18:14] Yeah.

[00:18:14] I think it adds some gravitas.

[00:18:16] Yeah.

[00:18:17] That calling myself Emperor Tickle wouldn't.

[00:18:19] Then I sound like a Sesame Street character.

[00:18:22] Is essentially the problem.

[00:18:24] You could go around stuck in a bin.

[00:18:26] You could pop out of.

[00:18:27] Like I've, I've had the name for 41 years.

[00:18:30] Like I've, I've gotten used to it, but I also understand, you know, that word in context.

[00:18:36] And I use it as a comedian, hopefully successfully with some effect to, you know, get people to laugh at it in a way that it doesn't feel like they're making fun of me.

[00:18:50] Yeah.

[00:18:51] But if you're, you know, if you're protesting a tyrant and that tyrant's name is Emperor Tickle, it's going to be too easy for you.

[00:18:58] Like, I don't want to make it harder on any possible detractors or make it easier on any possible detractors to belittle me.

[00:19:05] But what happens if people are calling you the Tickle Meister or the.

[00:19:11] Oh, I'm sure it would happen.

[00:19:13] Tickle Billy Jim.

[00:19:16] I mean, the thing is people do now.

[00:19:19] Like I have no real authority over anybody.

[00:19:23] I wouldn't say that on the island.

[00:19:25] Still make fun of my name.

[00:19:26] Oh, I mean, no, on the island I do.

[00:19:28] But I mean, currently in America and I still get a lot of jokes about my name.

[00:19:34] That was hard when I was substitute teaching because I had to rehear like all the jokes.

[00:19:40] Because it's like you could tie a child's intellectual development to the jokes that they make about my name.

[00:19:48] Yeah.

[00:19:48] So, like, if I was substituting a second grade class, I would hear all the jokes that I heard when I was in second grade.

[00:19:55] Yeah.

[00:19:55] And the other kids because it's like, oh, this is just where seven-year-old brains are at.

[00:19:59] Yeah.

[00:20:00] It's they think it's funny that it rhymes with pickle.

[00:20:03] OK.

[00:20:03] And then you get into middle school and it gets a little racier.

[00:20:06] It's like, all right, you can't.

[00:20:08] I'm your substitute teacher.

[00:20:09] You can't.

[00:20:10] Yeah.

[00:20:11] You can't do those ones.

[00:20:12] Yeah.

[00:20:13] And it's.

[00:20:15] I think people would.

[00:20:16] I don't know that.

[00:20:17] I don't think that it needs to be punishable.

[00:20:20] You're not putting them in jail or you're not fining them.

[00:20:22] In Buckaroo.

[00:20:24] No.

[00:20:24] I mean, I'm pretty.

[00:20:27] Tolerant of most crimes.

[00:20:30] OK, I'll just.

[00:20:32] I'll just.

[00:20:32] I think it would.

[00:20:33] It would for sure hurt my feelings.

[00:20:35] And I think letting the public know that I would hope that it is enough that they wouldn't do it because they wouldn't.

[00:20:43] They wouldn't want me to feel bad.

[00:20:45] OK, quick question.

[00:20:46] How how empathetic are your people?

[00:20:48] Honestly.

[00:20:51] Well, I like to think that I would be a benevolent emperor.

[00:20:59] Yeah.

[00:21:00] And that they wouldn't.

[00:21:02] They wouldn't want to hurt my feelings.

[00:21:05] You sound resigned.

[00:21:06] I think.

[00:21:08] I think.

[00:21:09] Well, I think I.

[00:21:10] There's no job I could ever hold.

[00:21:14] This reality or any other where I don't have to hear jokes about my name.

[00:21:18] OK.

[00:21:20] So I am resigned to that.

[00:21:23] It will happen.

[00:21:24] Also, if I'm the emperor, I do think people in positions of power get to be mocked.

[00:21:31] Like that's part of.

[00:21:33] Yeah.

[00:21:33] Yeah.

[00:21:36] But it's also it.

[00:21:37] It sucks to get made fun.

[00:21:39] Like you're allowed to feel bad about it.

[00:21:41] But I do think the better job you do, the less people are going to want to make fun of you.

[00:21:46] You know.

[00:21:47] OK.

[00:21:48] Yeah.

[00:21:48] We'll we'll see about that.

[00:21:49] How the podcast goes.

[00:21:50] But yeah.

[00:21:51] They.

[00:21:51] OK.

[00:21:52] For now, they're absolutely OK for calling you.

[00:21:55] Tickle Billy Jim and stuff.

[00:21:56] Yeah.

[00:21:57] I might put out like the occasional fireside chat.

[00:22:00] Podcast.

[00:22:02] Explain.

[00:22:03] About how it makes me feel bad.

[00:22:05] And then.

[00:22:06] And then.

[00:22:07] How often are these coming out?

[00:22:08] Once a week.

[00:22:09] Oh, weekly minimum.

[00:22:11] For sure.

[00:22:12] For sure.

[00:22:13] There's one every Sunday.

[00:22:14] But then just probably there's like special editions throughout the week.

[00:22:18] Because I got to let people know how I'm feeling.

[00:22:21] How bullying works, kids.

[00:22:23] Yeah.

[00:22:24] Like sometimes there's, you know, there's like a.

[00:22:26] There's like a low Wednesday afternoon where you just got to let your 10 million citizens

[00:22:30] know that they really got to knock it off with all the name calls.

[00:22:34] Because it's bringing you down.

[00:22:35] You have to knock it off.

[00:22:36] Anyway, I'll see you in three days.

[00:22:38] For another talk.

[00:22:41] Maybe I'll bring the citizens on as guests.

[00:22:44] To talk about why they.

[00:22:45] With them.

[00:22:46] See how they're doing.

[00:22:47] They think it's hilarious.

[00:22:49] But okay.

[00:22:49] Okay.

[00:22:49] We'll move on.

[00:22:50] I have the question.

[00:22:51] Do you have any official attire to wear as emperor?

[00:22:55] Like are you with the emperor rules?

[00:22:56] Yeah.

[00:22:56] For sure.

[00:22:58] So I actually used to wear the same thing every day.

[00:23:01] While.

[00:23:02] During the period of time while I was substitute teaching.

[00:23:05] I wore a suit every day.

[00:23:07] It was the same.

[00:23:08] I bought.

[00:23:09] Two of the same suit jackets.

[00:23:11] Four suit pants.

[00:23:12] A number of shirts and ties.

[00:23:13] And I dressed like a cartoon character for years.

[00:23:17] I would do that again.

[00:23:19] But I would have like epaulets and made up badges and stuff.

[00:23:24] Would you?

[00:23:24] Or like military badges.

[00:23:26] Like oh I've won loads of awards.

[00:23:27] Yeah.

[00:23:28] Or like Boy Scout merit badges probably.

[00:23:31] Yeah.

[00:23:32] Because I would make them.

[00:23:33] They wouldn't just be for show.

[00:23:35] They would be tied to things that I've done.

[00:23:37] But all the things that I've done are ridiculous.

[00:23:42] So like I would have one for like juggling pretty good.

[00:23:45] There would be one for being very good at Dr. Mario.

[00:23:49] Like that stuff.

[00:23:51] You'd have one of the pills right in it?

[00:23:53] Or you'd have to match the red and blue.

[00:23:54] Yeah.

[00:23:55] It would be a red and blue Dr. Mario pill.

[00:23:56] That's not bad.

[00:23:57] Yeah.

[00:23:57] Okay.

[00:23:57] That's pretty cool.

[00:23:58] Would you have any sort of hat?

[00:24:00] Any.

[00:24:00] Do emperors have a crown?

[00:24:02] They must have a crown somewhere.

[00:24:03] I think you could.

[00:24:04] I'm sure there's a crown that's for a show.

[00:24:07] But I have chronic neck problems.

[00:24:10] So I don't think.

[00:24:11] I don't think my head could support a crown.

[00:24:14] I'm so sorry.

[00:24:15] For more than the length of a photo shoot.

[00:24:16] I'm just thinking you sitting down by the fireplace on a Sunday.

[00:24:19] Explaining to people how you feel.

[00:24:21] How you feel sad.

[00:24:22] And your head is just a bit dirty.

[00:24:23] Because your neck is sore.

[00:24:25] That's why.

[00:24:25] I'm keeping my head down so long.

[00:24:27] People keep making fun of my name.

[00:24:30] So I do think.

[00:24:31] I do think there's a crown that is like on display.

[00:24:34] And I'll pop it on for like special events.

[00:24:37] You haven't.

[00:24:38] You know.

[00:24:39] You know.

[00:24:39] What's the one.

[00:24:40] In England.

[00:24:41] I don't know what the name of it is.

[00:24:42] But it's like the car.

[00:24:43] Is it the coronation crown or something like that.

[00:24:45] Where it's like it's worked.

[00:24:46] It's priceless.

[00:24:48] Right.

[00:24:48] It's.

[00:24:48] Yeah.

[00:24:49] It's worked a lot.

[00:24:50] I know what you mean.

[00:24:51] The jewels are.

[00:24:52] You know.

[00:24:53] Like all great treasures.

[00:24:55] Robbed.

[00:24:56] And belong somewhere else.

[00:24:57] So would you have anything like that.

[00:24:58] You're not robbing anyone else of their.

[00:25:00] No.

[00:25:01] I mean.

[00:25:02] My.

[00:25:03] My daughters are pretty fond of wearing.

[00:25:06] Tiaras that they buy.

[00:25:08] At.

[00:25:09] Oh.

[00:25:09] Yeah.

[00:25:10] A store in the U.S.

[00:25:11] Called Claire's.

[00:25:12] I don't know if you have.

[00:25:13] Claire's accessories.

[00:25:13] We have it here.

[00:25:14] Yeah.

[00:25:15] Yeah.

[00:25:15] Okay.

[00:25:15] Yeah.

[00:25:15] It's where preteen girls go to buy.

[00:25:18] Earrings or whatever.

[00:25:19] Yeah.

[00:25:20] I have some tiaras from there.

[00:25:21] That they're pretty fond of.

[00:25:22] So I might.

[00:25:25] I might take their advice.

[00:25:26] You would go into Claire's and buy you.

[00:25:29] Yeah.

[00:25:29] I would.

[00:25:29] I would let them take me into Claire's.

[00:25:31] And we'd pick out something nice.

[00:25:32] Yeah.

[00:25:33] Yeah.

[00:25:33] Because the tiaras are smaller.

[00:25:35] But I think we could.

[00:25:36] I.

[00:25:37] You want something showy.

[00:25:39] You know.

[00:25:39] Yeah.

[00:25:39] So if it's maybe a tiara on.

[00:25:41] On the front of.

[00:25:43] A top hat.

[00:25:44] Yes.

[00:25:44] Yes.

[00:25:45] Yes.

[00:25:45] Okay.

[00:25:46] Yeah.

[00:25:50] A brim.

[00:25:51] Keep the sun out of my eyes.

[00:25:52] Yeah.

[00:25:53] Yeah.

[00:25:53] Yeah.

[00:25:53] It would be sunny there.

[00:25:54] Right.

[00:25:54] It's warm in New Jersey.

[00:25:56] Sometimes.

[00:25:57] Yeah.

[00:25:58] It's not all year round.

[00:25:59] But okay.

[00:26:00] Yeah.

[00:26:00] We have a pretty temperate climate.

[00:26:03] And the season is very pretty wildly.

[00:26:07] Do you.

[00:26:08] In your country.

[00:26:09] And there's 10 million citizens.

[00:26:10] And whatever you pick now.

[00:26:11] They are happy with.

[00:26:12] Okay.

[00:26:13] But.

[00:26:14] Do you want.

[00:26:16] How do I phrase this?

[00:26:17] Do you know.

[00:26:17] When you're running the country.

[00:26:18] You have the ultimate say.

[00:26:20] You have absolute power.

[00:26:21] But for the everyday boring admin stuff.

[00:26:24] You have a staff.

[00:26:25] Right.

[00:26:25] You have people to do all.

[00:26:26] Oh yeah.

[00:26:27] Yeah.

[00:26:27] I can.

[00:26:28] Would you.

[00:26:29] No.

[00:26:29] You don't have time.

[00:26:30] No.

[00:26:31] You have your fireside chats to do.

[00:26:33] You don't have time for it.

[00:26:33] Right.

[00:26:34] Yeah.

[00:26:34] That would be my.

[00:26:35] That would be the biggest criticism of my administration.

[00:26:37] Is I'm spending too much time on.

[00:26:39] Too much.

[00:26:40] But.

[00:26:41] Do you.

[00:26:42] When you have your people to look after the government.

[00:26:45] Then.

[00:26:45] Are you just picking like 10 people to act as your inner.

[00:26:48] Counsel.

[00:26:49] Or.

[00:26:50] Are you going to allow voting.

[00:26:52] So the citizens.

[00:26:53] Citizens can vote for a hundred senators.

[00:26:55] And they'll do all that.

[00:26:56] But you have ultimate say.

[00:26:57] Basically.

[00:26:58] Are you allowing voting or not.

[00:26:59] On your audience.

[00:27:01] Yeah.

[00:27:02] For sure.

[00:27:03] Now.

[00:27:03] What if they vote for.

[00:27:05] You know.

[00:27:06] That kid who didn't believe you were real.

[00:27:10] Oh.

[00:27:10] He's the.

[00:27:11] He's the secretary of defense.

[00:27:12] Oh.

[00:27:13] Oh.

[00:27:13] Good for him.

[00:27:14] He gets a position.

[00:27:15] For sure.

[00:27:16] Yeah.

[00:27:17] Because I like.

[00:27:17] He's.

[00:27:18] You know.

[00:27:18] He's not.

[00:27:18] He's not afraid to question authority.

[00:27:20] And I like that.

[00:27:20] Yeah.

[00:27:20] He was thinking.

[00:27:21] Yeah.

[00:27:23] Because.

[00:27:24] He.

[00:27:25] You know.

[00:27:26] If another child tells you.

[00:27:28] That there's a mythical creature named Mr.

[00:27:29] Tickle.

[00:27:30] Wears the same suit every day.

[00:27:31] And taught you math.

[00:27:33] You know.

[00:27:34] You might be right to question.

[00:27:36] He was wrong in this specific instance.

[00:27:39] But the impulse would be like.

[00:27:40] There's no way that's a real guy.

[00:27:42] That's.

[00:27:42] Respectable.

[00:27:43] So.

[00:27:44] Like if someone said to him.

[00:27:46] There's nukes off.

[00:27:47] On the beaches of Cuba aimed at us.

[00:27:49] He's not going.

[00:27:50] Oh my God.

[00:27:51] Let's launch another Bay of Pigs.

[00:27:52] He's saying.

[00:27:53] Let's investigate.

[00:27:54] Yeah.

[00:27:55] He's like.

[00:27:55] We'll get into it.

[00:27:56] You know.

[00:27:56] We need to gather more evidence.

[00:27:58] Yeah.

[00:27:59] I do think we.

[00:28:01] I'm trying to think of.

[00:28:05] The best system of government.

[00:28:08] In.

[00:28:09] Fiction.

[00:28:10] That I think would work well.

[00:28:13] Because you know.

[00:28:16] Ours.

[00:28:17] Isn't great.

[00:28:18] No.

[00:28:19] The Galactic Senate.

[00:28:20] Famously.

[00:28:21] Failed when they.

[00:28:24] Elected.

[00:28:25] To have an emperor.

[00:28:26] The empire didn't fail politically.

[00:28:29] Politically.

[00:28:30] It was running smooth.

[00:28:31] Politically.

[00:28:32] In a way.

[00:28:33] Yeah.

[00:28:33] But the.

[00:28:34] The Galactic Senate.

[00:28:35] Were the ones who were like.

[00:28:36] Oh yeah.

[00:28:37] No.

[00:28:37] Palpatine can be in charge of everything.

[00:28:38] That'll be fine.

[00:28:39] That won't.

[00:28:40] Yeah.

[00:28:40] End in.

[00:28:43] Planetary destruction.

[00:28:44] Or nothing.

[00:28:44] So that's.

[00:28:45] That's the failure there.

[00:28:47] But then afterwards.

[00:28:48] Like after.

[00:28:49] So if you're Palpatine.

[00:28:51] In this scenario.

[00:28:52] Yeah.

[00:28:52] He was running a politically fine.

[00:28:54] I think he was getting reelected again.

[00:28:56] Before he died.

[00:28:56] But.

[00:28:57] I don't know about.

[00:28:58] I mean.

[00:28:59] As long as they're not running the election.

[00:29:01] On Alderaan.

[00:29:02] Yeah.

[00:29:03] I do think.

[00:29:04] I do.

[00:29:04] It's got to be based in democracy.

[00:29:06] I would actually honestly be fine.

[00:29:08] Giving myself term limits.

[00:29:10] Because.

[00:29:10] One thing that I like about my job.

[00:29:13] As a stand-up comedian now.

[00:29:14] Is.

[00:29:15] Is basically the total lack of responsibility.

[00:29:18] Yes.

[00:29:19] Whereas.

[00:29:20] I used to work.

[00:29:21] As a writer.

[00:29:22] And when I started that job.

[00:29:24] I was just like.

[00:29:25] The lowest guy on staff.

[00:29:27] Yeah.

[00:29:28] But then.

[00:29:29] Through mismanagement.

[00:29:30] Pretty quickly.

[00:29:31] I was in charge of the site.

[00:29:33] And the other writers.

[00:29:34] And I hated.

[00:29:36] That part of it.

[00:29:37] It's like.

[00:29:37] I just want to write.

[00:29:38] I just want to write dumb articles.

[00:29:40] I don't want to like.

[00:29:41] Be your boss.

[00:29:42] Yeah.

[00:29:43] So I think.

[00:29:44] To get Buckaroo off the ground.

[00:29:46] I'll be in charge.

[00:29:48] But I do.

[00:29:49] I don't want to.

[00:29:50] Do it forever.

[00:29:51] You know.

[00:29:52] It seems exhausting.

[00:29:53] How long do you plan on doing it?

[00:29:54] Because I mean.

[00:29:55] I just assume you want to do it forever.

[00:29:56] But how long.

[00:29:57] Are you planning a long stay?

[00:29:58] Or like.

[00:29:58] Oh I'm here for a year.

[00:29:59] And I'm out.

[00:30:02] I don't think a year is enough.

[00:30:03] To realistically get the island.

[00:30:06] Where it needs to be.

[00:30:07] Yeah.

[00:30:08] To compete.

[00:30:08] On a global scale.

[00:30:10] But I do think.

[00:30:11] Its chances of doing that.

[00:30:13] Are better.

[00:30:14] With someone other than.

[00:30:15] Me in charge.

[00:30:17] Okay.

[00:30:18] Because I think part of it.

[00:30:20] Is I don't know that I would.

[00:30:21] I don't know that I would be.

[00:30:22] A great dictator.

[00:30:24] Yeah.

[00:30:24] But you're not.

[00:30:24] We're not telling the citizens that right?

[00:30:26] That I'm a dictator.

[00:30:27] Or that I don't.

[00:30:27] No.

[00:30:27] That you're not.

[00:30:28] You don't think you'll be a good dictator.

[00:30:30] Or a great one.

[00:30:30] No.

[00:30:31] I mean.

[00:30:32] It would be fun at first.

[00:30:33] So I think I would.

[00:30:35] Genuinely enjoy it.

[00:30:37] Yeah.

[00:30:37] And would be giving it my all.

[00:30:38] But.

[00:30:40] Yes.

[00:30:40] But.

[00:30:40] Historically.

[00:30:41] With any job.

[00:30:42] After you do it for a while.

[00:30:43] The you know.

[00:30:44] The novelty wears off.

[00:30:45] And then it just kind of becomes.

[00:30:47] Drudgery.

[00:30:48] That's when I think my interest would start to slip.

[00:30:51] So.

[00:30:51] Okay.

[00:30:51] I think initially.

[00:30:53] As long as that.

[00:30:54] The dopamine hit.

[00:30:56] Of.

[00:30:56] I.

[00:30:57] I'm in charge.

[00:30:58] We're building a fun.

[00:30:59] Little island.

[00:31:00] Yeah.

[00:31:02] Which I mean.

[00:31:03] To bring it back to Animal Crossing.

[00:31:04] Once I got that island of five stars.

[00:31:06] I could not have cared less.

[00:31:08] Yeah.

[00:31:08] That was the last time I played that game.

[00:31:09] Because where do you go from there?

[00:31:10] Yeah.

[00:31:11] So.

[00:31:12] That took.

[00:31:13] Probably about.

[00:31:14] Two years.

[00:31:15] But that's a video game.

[00:31:16] And I didn't have anything else to do.

[00:31:18] Because of the pandemic.

[00:31:19] So.

[00:31:20] I mean.

[00:31:20] We have four.

[00:31:21] Four year term limits.

[00:31:23] Before.

[00:31:25] One possible re-election for presidents.

[00:31:27] Here in the U.S.

[00:31:28] And that.

[00:31:31] Historically.

[00:31:32] Doesn't always go good.

[00:31:34] I.

[00:31:34] I think I just got to leave it up to the people.

[00:31:37] I want them to decide.

[00:31:39] When.

[00:31:40] When it's time for me to go.

[00:31:42] Oh.

[00:31:43] Okay.

[00:31:43] But what if they decide tomorrow.

[00:31:44] You're out.

[00:31:44] You're out the door.

[00:31:47] Then.

[00:31:47] It was a good run.

[00:31:48] Okay.

[00:31:49] Okay.

[00:31:50] Until that happens.

[00:31:52] Okay.

[00:31:53] We'll have something.

[00:31:54] Something fun.

[00:31:54] Where we'll say.

[00:31:55] Since we're setting up the island.

[00:31:56] What type of house do you want to live in?

[00:31:58] Do you want.

[00:31:58] Do you want to.

[00:31:59] You're indulging a big huge mansion.

[00:32:00] Or a big castle.

[00:32:01] Or palace.

[00:32:02] Or we can build you.

[00:32:03] Oh.

[00:32:03] Do you know.

[00:32:06] The.

[00:32:06] The television show.

[00:32:08] I Claudius.

[00:32:10] No.

[00:32:10] But you're very handsome.

[00:32:12] I looked it up now.

[00:32:13] It was.

[00:32:14] It was a PBS show.

[00:32:17] It was a mini series.

[00:32:19] About.

[00:32:19] Ancient Rome.

[00:32:21] Or Greece.

[00:32:22] Honestly.

[00:32:22] I don't know the difference.

[00:32:24] I mean.

[00:32:24] I know.

[00:32:24] They're different.

[00:32:25] But I don't know which one's which.

[00:32:26] Um.

[00:32:28] And.

[00:32:29] Is it from the 70s?

[00:32:30] I believe so.

[00:32:32] Yeah.

[00:32:32] But another comedian here in the United States.

[00:32:34] John Odgman.

[00:32:35] Uh.

[00:32:36] Is obsessed with it.

[00:32:37] And one thing he points out.

[00:32:38] Is that.

[00:32:39] The.

[00:32:40] Claudius.

[00:32:41] And.

[00:32:41] And I think her name is.

[00:32:43] Uh.

[00:32:44] Livia.

[00:32:45] Uh.

[00:32:46] Claudius's spouse.

[00:32:47] Have like.

[00:32:48] Separate.

[00:32:50] Little like.

[00:32:51] Bungalows.

[00:32:52] That are separated by like.

[00:32:54] A reflecting pool.

[00:32:56] Um.

[00:32:56] And I.

[00:32:57] I like.

[00:32:58] I love my wife very much.

[00:33:00] But if we had separate.

[00:33:03] Places to go.

[00:33:04] With a reflecting pool in the middle.

[00:33:06] And then.

[00:33:07] My kids were on.

[00:33:08] Her side of it.

[00:33:09] I think that would.

[00:33:11] Be ideal.

[00:33:11] So you're saying.

[00:33:13] That the woman you love.

[00:33:14] Your relationship with her.

[00:33:15] Would improve.

[00:33:16] If you had a reflecting pool.

[00:33:17] In between you at all times.

[00:33:19] Not at all times.

[00:33:20] But just if it was like.

[00:33:21] The house next door to me.

[00:33:22] Is going up for sale right now.

[00:33:24] And.

[00:33:24] In an ideal world.

[00:33:26] I just buy it.

[00:33:26] And move in.

[00:33:27] And move in.

[00:33:28] And in.

[00:33:28] Yeah.

[00:33:29] And then like.

[00:33:29] Yeah.

[00:33:30] My wife and kids are still next door.

[00:33:31] We just kind of go back and forth.

[00:33:33] But having.

[00:33:34] Just like a separate.

[00:33:36] Yeah.

[00:33:36] Nearby building.

[00:33:37] Okay.

[00:33:38] She.

[00:33:39] She'd go for that as well.

[00:33:40] Right?

[00:33:40] I think she would.

[00:33:42] Be more into it than me.

[00:33:43] At this point.

[00:33:43] Oh.

[00:33:44] Oh nice.

[00:33:45] Um.

[00:33:47] So I think.

[00:33:49] Plus like.

[00:33:50] The.

[00:33:51] The style of it.

[00:33:52] I like.

[00:33:53] Like having big columns.

[00:33:54] And stuff around.

[00:33:55] Would be pretty neat.

[00:33:56] Oh so you want kind of a Roman.

[00:33:58] Kind of like a Roman villa.

[00:34:00] Yeah.

[00:34:01] They must have had a villa.

[00:34:03] Or honestly.

[00:34:06] Just like a little apartment.

[00:34:08] I.

[00:34:08] It's the.

[00:34:09] The thing that I want more.

[00:34:11] Than anything.

[00:34:12] Is like an office again.

[00:34:13] I had a home office.

[00:34:15] Yeah.

[00:34:15] Then my second child was born.

[00:34:16] And that became her room.

[00:34:18] And now I'm just like.

[00:34:20] Doing this at my dining room table.

[00:34:22] Because I have nowhere else to go.

[00:34:23] Yeah.

[00:34:24] So I.

[00:34:24] I guess I'm mostly just.

[00:34:26] Well we'll make sure you have an office.

[00:34:28] Don't worry.

[00:34:28] You.

[00:34:28] A room.

[00:34:29] For someone who has ultimate power on their island.

[00:34:31] You're like.

[00:34:32] If you don't mind.

[00:34:33] I'll just do.

[00:34:34] Yeah.

[00:34:34] I was like.

[00:34:34] Oh.

[00:34:34] If I could just have like.

[00:34:35] A studio apartment.

[00:34:37] Absolutely.

[00:34:37] It would be.

[00:34:38] That is what.

[00:34:39] That's what 40 year old dads dream of.

[00:34:41] Is just like.

[00:34:42] Their own studio apartment.

[00:34:43] Where there's not.

[00:34:45] A.

[00:34:45] You know.

[00:34:46] A yard to mow.

[00:34:47] Or they just don't have to do anything.

[00:34:49] If something breaks.

[00:34:50] They just call a guy.

[00:34:51] And he comes and fixes it.

[00:34:52] We.

[00:34:54] We can have a.

[00:34:56] Perfect little place.

[00:34:57] For you and your wife.

[00:34:58] Two houses with a reflecting pool.

[00:34:59] Yeah.

[00:35:00] And then in the capital city.

[00:35:01] We'll have an apartment for you.

[00:35:02] If you want to go there.

[00:35:03] You can decide which one.

[00:35:04] Yeah.

[00:35:04] Well the capital.

[00:35:05] I would.

[00:35:06] I would.

[00:35:07] I would imitate.

[00:35:09] The Hungarian parliament building.

[00:35:13] Because it's beautiful.

[00:35:15] I have to see.

[00:35:15] Is this something that's really over the top?

[00:35:18] It's.

[00:35:20] It's.

[00:35:20] There's so many spires on that bad boy.

[00:35:22] It is.

[00:35:23] It is a sight to behold.

[00:35:26] Oh.

[00:35:27] Jesus.

[00:35:27] Yeah.

[00:35:27] By the water as well.

[00:35:28] Isn't it?

[00:35:29] Yeah.

[00:35:30] It's right on the Danube.

[00:35:31] Yeah.

[00:35:32] It's great.

[00:35:34] Yeah.

[00:35:34] That's very nice actually.

[00:35:35] Um.

[00:35:36] I would just take that one.

[00:35:37] Just like.

[00:35:38] For pure architecture.

[00:35:39] So wait.

[00:35:40] You want an apartment.

[00:35:41] But it.

[00:35:41] To be the size and look of that.

[00:35:43] No.

[00:35:43] But maybe like.

[00:35:44] One room in there.

[00:35:44] Could just be from.

[00:35:46] I think that's.

[00:35:48] That would be.

[00:35:50] Well.

[00:35:51] I mean.

[00:35:51] We're talking about work and home.

[00:35:52] Like that would be.

[00:35:53] Yeah.

[00:35:54] Yeah.

[00:35:54] Yeah.

[00:35:54] That's where.

[00:35:55] That's where the podcast happens.

[00:35:57] That's where the rest of the time.

[00:35:59] Yeah.

[00:36:00] The rest of the time.

[00:36:00] That's what they call it.

[00:36:01] The podcast building.

[00:36:02] My studio apartment.

[00:36:04] Okay.

[00:36:05] Okay.

[00:36:06] God.

[00:36:06] The priorities are all over the place.

[00:36:08] Okay.

[00:36:08] Yeah.

[00:36:08] So on Bookaroo.

[00:36:10] For myself.

[00:36:10] I want.

[00:36:12] One modest.

[00:36:13] A modest one room apartment.

[00:36:15] But for the government.

[00:36:16] I want.

[00:36:17] What is arguably.

[00:36:18] The most beautiful building.

[00:36:19] Ever constructed by humanity.

[00:36:21] And you just want one room in there.

[00:36:22] Where you can do your podcast.

[00:36:23] Yeah.

[00:36:23] Oh for sure.

[00:36:24] Just one separate room.

[00:36:26] Okay.

[00:36:27] That I can interview my constituents.

[00:36:30] Okay.

[00:36:30] And.

[00:36:31] Oh just quick question.

[00:36:33] So when you're.

[00:36:33] When you have your nice little house.

[00:36:35] Would your wife have the same house.

[00:36:37] Or do you think she'd go at a big palace?

[00:36:41] No.

[00:36:41] She would.

[00:36:42] She would want.

[00:36:46] Basically farmland.

[00:36:48] She just wants a farm.

[00:36:50] She has a pretty robust garden.

[00:36:52] And we have chickens that live in our suburban New Jersey backyard.

[00:36:55] For some reason.

[00:36:56] Yeah.

[00:36:57] So I'm sure she would.

[00:36:59] She would like.

[00:36:59] If we had.

[00:37:00] You know.

[00:37:01] A couple acres.

[00:37:02] Where she can spread out.

[00:37:04] She can spread out chickens.

[00:37:06] Yeah.

[00:37:06] Just.

[00:37:06] I mean like.

[00:37:07] Occupy more of it.

[00:37:08] Because our yard is.

[00:37:10] Fairly small.

[00:37:11] Yeah.

[00:37:12] And she's making the.

[00:37:13] Most of it.

[00:37:14] Yes.

[00:37:14] Okay.

[00:37:15] No.

[00:37:15] No.

[00:37:15] We'll get that.

[00:37:16] Get right on that.

[00:37:17] Do you know.

[00:37:17] On the island of Bookaroo.

[00:37:18] Or yeah.

[00:37:19] The country of Bookaroo.

[00:37:20] What.

[00:37:22] What kind of mundane.

[00:37:24] Or everyday item.

[00:37:24] Are we banning from this country.

[00:37:26] Do you have any pet peeves.

[00:37:27] You're like.

[00:37:27] No.

[00:37:27] We don't want that here.

[00:37:28] You're not allowed to talk on speakerphone in public.

[00:37:31] Only in private.

[00:37:31] That's for at home.

[00:37:32] What happens if someone does.

[00:37:34] If someone goes.

[00:37:35] Hey Jim.

[00:37:36] Old tickly boy.

[00:37:38] Is.

[00:37:38] Is doing another podcast.

[00:37:39] I can't wait to hear it.

[00:37:40] He's an idiot.

[00:37:41] Ha ha ha ha.

[00:37:42] Or something.

[00:37:43] I don't know.

[00:37:43] That's just mean.

[00:37:44] But.

[00:37:45] It's.

[00:37:46] I mean.

[00:37:47] I think you just get your phone taken off.

[00:37:49] So you lose access to phones.

[00:37:51] Not.

[00:37:51] I mean.

[00:37:51] The phone that you are doing it on.

[00:37:54] Yes.

[00:37:55] Gets confiscated.

[00:37:56] Oh.

[00:37:57] And then.

[00:37:59] That's.

[00:37:59] That's your punishment.

[00:38:00] You got to go find another one.

[00:38:02] You have to go buy another one.

[00:38:03] There's not a fine.

[00:38:04] You don't get it back.

[00:38:05] It just goes back to.

[00:38:06] Verizon or whatever you got it from.

[00:38:08] But what happened.

[00:38:10] Is that not saying.

[00:38:11] That if you're rich.

[00:38:12] You can talk loudly.

[00:38:13] All you want in public.

[00:38:14] But if you're poor.

[00:38:15] Because obviously.

[00:38:15] If you're poor.

[00:38:16] You can't afford a phone.

[00:38:17] But if you're rich.

[00:38:17] Oh.

[00:38:18] I get a phone every day.

[00:38:19] That's a good point.

[00:38:19] Yeah.

[00:38:20] I forget where I saw it.

[00:38:22] But somebody.

[00:38:23] There was like a sign.

[00:38:24] And said like.

[00:38:25] Oh.

[00:38:25] Fine.

[00:38:25] For fishing in this river is $50.

[00:38:27] So somebody's like.

[00:38:28] Oh.

[00:38:28] So it costs $50.

[00:38:29] Yeah.

[00:38:31] So that is a good point.

[00:38:33] See.

[00:38:33] This is why.

[00:38:34] I question my ability as a ruler.

[00:38:36] Because I.

[00:38:36] I would be like.

[00:38:37] Oh.

[00:38:37] Just get taken away.

[00:38:39] Or maybe it is like.

[00:38:40] If my kid brings her phone to school.

[00:38:42] And pulls it out.

[00:38:43] The teacher is going to take it.

[00:38:44] And then.

[00:38:45] I have to go to the school.

[00:38:46] And say hey.

[00:38:47] I know my kid.

[00:38:48] Shouldn't be using her.

[00:38:50] Phone in class.

[00:38:51] But.

[00:38:52] Give it back.

[00:38:53] And then they.

[00:38:54] Relinquish it to me.

[00:38:55] So maybe you get your phone taken away.

[00:38:57] And then you have to come to my office.

[00:38:59] At the parliament building.

[00:39:01] And then.

[00:39:01] Oh.

[00:39:02] Personally go there.

[00:39:03] You can't just get one of your.

[00:39:04] You gotta be like.

[00:39:04] Yeah.

[00:39:05] Yeah.

[00:39:06] You have to show up.

[00:39:07] And face me.

[00:39:08] And be like hey.

[00:39:09] I know it really bugs you.

[00:39:10] When people talk on speakerphone.

[00:39:12] In public.

[00:39:14] And then.

[00:39:14] I give them like a stern.

[00:39:16] No no no.

[00:39:17] And then I.

[00:39:17] I'll give it back.

[00:39:18] But.

[00:39:19] I'll try to make you feel guilty.

[00:39:20] Oh my god.

[00:39:20] Is that how you get guests for your podcast?

[00:39:22] They're like.

[00:39:23] Oh god.

[00:39:23] I have to do this podcast now.

[00:39:25] Yeah.

[00:39:26] That's your punishment.

[00:39:27] You have to sit down with the emperor for an hour.

[00:39:29] Sit down.

[00:39:30] You're like.

[00:39:30] What's so important?

[00:39:31] What's so important that you couldn't do this at home?

[00:39:33] You know.

[00:39:34] I have a feeling about my second name.

[00:39:35] And now.

[00:39:35] I need both sides of this conversation.

[00:39:37] Who do you think you are?

[00:39:39] It's just another thing to make me feel bad.

[00:39:41] I'm only here for a few years.

[00:39:43] Oh god.

[00:39:44] Right.

[00:39:44] I can be gone at any minute.

[00:39:46] I am one vote of no confidence away.

[00:39:49] From retirement.

[00:39:52] It's like.

[00:39:53] I'm an old man.

[00:39:54] And I can be gone any day now.

[00:39:56] This could be our last Christmas together.

[00:39:58] I do feel like after a while.

[00:40:00] I would start trying to get by.

[00:40:02] For sure.

[00:40:03] Like if I think the island's going good.

[00:40:06] And then.

[00:40:07] I'm bored of being the emperor.

[00:40:09] Yeah.

[00:40:09] I would start.

[00:40:11] Enacting insane policies.

[00:40:12] To try to get them to be like.

[00:40:15] Tickle's got to go.

[00:40:16] We got to get.

[00:40:16] Really?

[00:40:17] What if they're just like.

[00:40:18] No he's doing great.

[00:40:19] You know.

[00:40:19] Yeah.

[00:40:20] That would be the problem.

[00:40:21] I don't want to do too well.

[00:40:22] Okay.

[00:40:22] We all love him.

[00:40:23] If.

[00:40:24] He's doing too good of a job.

[00:40:25] So.

[00:40:25] There's nothing else apart from the speakerphone ban.

[00:40:30] That's a.

[00:40:30] That's the one that comes to mind.

[00:40:32] Yeah.

[00:40:32] Yeah.

[00:40:32] Only because I had to experience it fairly recently.

[00:40:35] Is there any unusual list.

[00:40:37] In the world that your country would be top of.

[00:40:40] So I presume it has like the best education.

[00:40:42] And best healthcare.

[00:40:42] And best.

[00:40:43] Yeah.

[00:40:43] Manners.

[00:40:44] We would be the best in the world at Dr. Mario.

[00:40:48] Because I live.

[00:40:49] What?

[00:40:50] Oh you live in Buckaroo.

[00:40:51] Not Dr. Mario.

[00:40:52] That I live in Dr. Mario.

[00:40:55] But yeah.

[00:40:55] I'm very good at Dr. Mario.

[00:40:57] So there's a guy who lives in St. Louis Missouri.

[00:41:00] Yeah.

[00:41:02] Sinkfield.

[00:41:03] I forget his first name.

[00:41:05] He's basically a rich guy who loves chess.

[00:41:07] And years ago decided he's going to make St. Louis Missouri.

[00:41:10] The chess capital of the world.

[00:41:12] And.

[00:41:14] He's kind of pulling it off.

[00:41:16] I don't know.

[00:41:16] Who do you do this?

[00:41:16] Competitive.

[00:41:17] You throw a bunch of money at it.

[00:41:19] To get really good chess players.

[00:41:20] To come play at the St. Louis Chess Club.

[00:41:22] You host.

[00:41:23] Yes.

[00:41:23] A prestigious tournament there.

[00:41:26] He's kind of like pulling it off.

[00:41:28] Yeah.

[00:41:29] And.

[00:41:29] I also.

[00:41:32] Not good at.

[00:41:33] But I like following competitive chess.

[00:41:35] But.

[00:41:36] I don't.

[00:41:37] I don't think.

[00:41:38] I'm good enough at it.

[00:41:41] To justify.

[00:41:42] Trying to take.

[00:41:43] The title of chess capital of the world.

[00:41:45] Yeah.

[00:41:45] But.

[00:41:46] Dr. Mario capital of the world.

[00:41:48] That's.

[00:41:49] You can do that.

[00:41:50] Yeah.

[00:41:50] Yeah.

[00:41:51] Because there's like five people.

[00:41:53] Who can beat me.

[00:41:54] And I know them all.

[00:41:54] Like.

[00:41:55] You've met them all.

[00:41:56] Have you?

[00:41:57] Yeah.

[00:41:57] Because there's tournaments that I go to.

[00:41:59] Really?

[00:42:00] Yeah.

[00:42:01] I know.

[00:42:01] I know.

[00:42:02] When I see.

[00:42:02] You know.

[00:42:03] A couple people show up.

[00:42:04] Then I get worried about my.

[00:42:06] Position.

[00:42:07] Have you won?

[00:42:07] In the tournament.

[00:42:08] No.

[00:42:09] I've.

[00:42:10] Gotten in the top 10.

[00:42:11] Of the world championship.

[00:42:13] But that's the closest.

[00:42:14] Well done.

[00:42:15] Thank you.

[00:42:15] Very good stacking pills.

[00:42:17] So what is the.

[00:42:18] What is the.

[00:42:20] That could be a scandal.

[00:42:21] What is the.

[00:42:23] When's the last time Dr. Mario.

[00:42:25] Like was out?

[00:42:25] I presume it's on the like.

[00:42:26] Wii U or.

[00:42:27] There was.

[00:42:28] There was Dr.

[00:42:29] Luigi on the Wii U.

[00:42:30] Right.

[00:42:31] And it is on the Nintendo Switch.

[00:42:33] On the virtual console.

[00:42:34] Right.

[00:42:35] But there's not been like.

[00:42:37] A Switch version.

[00:42:39] Yeah.

[00:42:39] Of Dr. Mario.

[00:42:40] But there was.

[00:42:41] The original NES.

[00:42:42] The Game Boy.

[00:42:44] Yeah.

[00:42:44] Yeah.

[00:42:44] And 64.

[00:42:46] Then Dr. Luigi on the.

[00:42:48] The Wii U.

[00:42:48] There was Dr. Mario.

[00:42:50] Online.

[00:42:51] RX.

[00:42:51] On the original Wii.

[00:42:53] That was the first one where you could play people online.

[00:42:55] Oh cool.

[00:42:56] Okay.

[00:42:57] So you're going to do Dr. Mario.

[00:42:58] Capital of the World.

[00:42:59] You're.

[00:43:00] Yeah.

[00:43:00] Yeah.

[00:43:00] But I mean.

[00:43:01] Other people are good on the island.

[00:43:02] Right.

[00:43:03] Like some of the best players.

[00:43:04] I would encourage.

[00:43:05] The other.

[00:43:06] People.

[00:43:07] Who are very good.

[00:43:08] Right.

[00:43:09] At Dr. Mario.

[00:43:09] To.

[00:43:11] Defects from their native countries.

[00:43:13] Tax breaks.

[00:43:14] They'll be treated like kings.

[00:43:15] Okay.

[00:43:16] Yeah.

[00:43:16] Is that the national sport?

[00:43:19] Juggling.

[00:43:21] Competitive juggling.

[00:43:22] That surely.

[00:43:23] I'm going to say.

[00:43:24] Yeah.

[00:43:25] I'm going to say competitive juggling.

[00:43:27] Okay.

[00:43:28] Yes.

[00:43:28] And then.

[00:43:29] Then hobby and gaming wise.

[00:43:30] Dr. Mario is.

[00:43:31] Is on it.

[00:43:32] Yeah.

[00:43:33] Okay.

[00:43:34] Okay.

[00:43:34] Just because there's more of a physical component.

[00:43:36] Into juggling.

[00:43:37] Yeah.

[00:43:38] Yeah.

[00:43:38] That Dr. Mario doesn't quite have.

[00:43:40] Yeah.

[00:43:40] It's not quite the same level.

[00:43:43] I have a bit of a.

[00:43:44] A tough question to ask.

[00:43:46] Since you're the ruler of a country.

[00:43:48] Sure.

[00:43:48] What.

[00:43:49] There's some bad news to give to you.

[00:43:51] So your approval rating.

[00:43:52] Because the country's been set up so well.

[00:43:53] Is 97%.

[00:43:55] Right.

[00:43:55] Okay.

[00:43:56] Now.

[00:43:57] A scandal comes out involving the emperor.

[00:43:59] Emperor Glenn.

[00:44:01] And the approval rating goes down to 84%.

[00:44:04] Okay.

[00:44:05] So it's not great.

[00:44:07] It's not.

[00:44:08] You know.

[00:44:08] It's not.

[00:44:09] Catastrophic.

[00:44:10] But.

[00:44:10] Yeah.

[00:44:11] That seems like a pretty small scandal.

[00:44:13] That's it.

[00:44:14] It's a light entertainment podcast.

[00:44:15] So.

[00:44:16] The way.

[00:44:18] I ask people.

[00:44:20] Is that you get to decide what the scandal is.

[00:44:22] Okay.

[00:44:23] So.

[00:44:24] Your advisors would say to you.

[00:44:26] Maybe you should go on.

[00:44:27] To the.

[00:44:29] Best news.

[00:44:30] News channel.

[00:44:30] In the country.

[00:44:31] And talk to.

[00:44:33] Anderson.

[00:44:33] The best reporter in the country.

[00:44:35] To explain.

[00:44:36] Like have a sit down with him.

[00:44:37] Right.

[00:44:37] Sure.

[00:44:38] Would you do that?

[00:44:39] Would you.

[00:44:39] Would you face a tough interview.

[00:44:41] To explain.

[00:44:42] Um.

[00:44:43] I guess it would depend on what the scandal is.

[00:44:46] Where.

[00:44:47] If it is something.

[00:44:48] That I'm genuinely ashamed of.

[00:44:51] Mm.

[00:44:51] I don't think I would want to talk about it.

[00:44:54] Right.

[00:44:54] Because it would make me feel bad.

[00:44:56] Yes.

[00:44:56] But if it was something.

[00:44:58] Because you know.

[00:44:59] Sometimes you do something.

[00:45:00] And then you find out that other people don't like it.

[00:45:02] And you're like.

[00:45:02] Oh.

[00:45:03] Well.

[00:45:03] I mean.

[00:45:04] I feel bad.

[00:45:05] But I'm not gonna.

[00:45:06] Stop doing this.

[00:45:08] Yeah.

[00:45:08] Yeah.

[00:45:08] I'm trying to think of a good example.

[00:45:10] This podcast to be honest.

[00:45:11] Is the one I have.

[00:45:13] Yeah.

[00:45:13] Or like sometimes as a comedian.

[00:45:14] Like I'll do a joke.

[00:45:15] About.

[00:45:17] Someone in my life.

[00:45:18] And.

[00:45:19] They'll be like.

[00:45:20] Well.

[00:45:21] I don't like that you're doing a joke about me.

[00:45:23] But to me.

[00:45:24] It is like a completely fair joke.

[00:45:27] Right.

[00:45:27] Yeah.

[00:45:27] Yeah.

[00:45:27] Yeah.

[00:45:28] It's not mean spirited.

[00:45:29] Or it's not.

[00:45:29] It's like.

[00:45:30] Yeah.

[00:45:30] Well the joke's not really about you.

[00:45:31] Like you're mentioned in it.

[00:45:33] Sure.

[00:45:33] But it's not.

[00:45:34] The joke isn't like.

[00:45:35] My wife.

[00:45:36] Right.

[00:45:36] Yeah.

[00:45:37] It's not targeted.

[00:45:38] Yeah.

[00:45:39] Yeah.

[00:45:39] I'll use her as an example.

[00:45:40] Because she's never complained about any jokes that I've done.

[00:45:43] So this is purely hypothetical.

[00:45:45] But like.

[00:45:45] Let's say I do a joke about my wife.

[00:45:47] And she's like.

[00:45:48] Hey.

[00:45:48] I don't.

[00:45:49] I have one right now.

[00:45:50] Because she.

[00:45:51] We had a small earthquake.

[00:45:53] Yeah.

[00:45:53] In New Jersey.

[00:45:54] Yeah.

[00:45:54] And I missed it.

[00:45:55] I was driving and didn't notice.

[00:45:57] You were jumping at the perfect time.

[00:46:00] Yeah.

[00:46:00] I was already midair.

[00:46:01] So I had no idea.

[00:46:03] But she just sent me the text that said.

[00:46:06] Everyone's okay.

[00:46:07] Okay.

[00:46:08] But not anything about the earthquake.

[00:46:10] Or why they wouldn't be.

[00:46:13] Yes.

[00:46:13] And so I have a joke about that.

[00:46:16] And if she's like.

[00:46:17] Hey.

[00:46:17] I don't like that you're making fun of me.

[00:46:19] I was like.

[00:46:19] Well that was a weird text.

[00:46:20] I don't like.

[00:46:20] I don't know what to tell you.

[00:46:21] Like that's.

[00:46:22] Yeah.

[00:46:23] So if it was something like that.

[00:46:25] If the citizens were like.

[00:46:26] Hey.

[00:46:26] We don't like that you're making fun of your wife.

[00:46:28] For sending you a weird text after an earthquake.

[00:46:30] I'd be like.

[00:46:31] Well.

[00:46:31] I don't know.

[00:46:32] You guys are wrong.

[00:46:33] I'll go on.

[00:46:35] I'll go on the news.

[00:46:36] And talk about it.

[00:46:37] But.

[00:46:38] If it was something like.

[00:46:40] That I genuinely felt bad about.

[00:46:42] I would be like.

[00:46:42] You guys.

[00:46:43] I don't.

[00:46:43] I don't know.

[00:46:44] We can deal with like.

[00:46:45] Bad.

[00:46:46] Bad joke.

[00:46:46] It is what the press are calling us.

[00:46:48] Right.

[00:46:49] Sure.

[00:46:50] They'll say that.

[00:46:50] By the way.

[00:46:51] When you said about the text.

[00:46:52] When I was.

[00:46:53] Was it last year.

[00:46:54] Two years ago.

[00:46:55] I don't matter.

[00:46:55] Recently.

[00:46:57] Me and my fiance.

[00:46:58] Went over to Spain.

[00:47:00] For our friend.

[00:47:01] Two of our friends.

[00:47:01] We're getting married.

[00:47:02] Right.

[00:47:03] And.

[00:47:04] They got married.

[00:47:05] And we were.

[00:47:06] We were staying at a villa.

[00:47:08] There was about 10 of us staying at a villa.

[00:47:09] And we were having the ceremony there.

[00:47:11] And everything else.

[00:47:11] It was lovely.

[00:47:12] Right.

[00:47:12] South of Spain.

[00:47:14] Really.

[00:47:15] Yeah.

[00:47:15] Really.

[00:47:15] Really.

[00:47:16] Really hot weather.

[00:47:16] Very nice.

[00:47:17] And.

[00:47:19] During the day.

[00:47:20] It got to about six.

[00:47:21] No.

[00:47:21] No.

[00:47:22] It got to the evening.

[00:47:23] Around eight or nine o'clock.

[00:47:24] And I said to my fiance.

[00:47:26] I was like.

[00:47:26] I'm going up.

[00:47:28] Either I was changing.

[00:47:29] Or.

[00:47:30] I was putting my phone on charge.

[00:47:32] Or whatever.

[00:47:32] But I said.

[00:47:33] I'm going to go upstairs to our room.

[00:47:35] I'm just going to like.

[00:47:36] Lie down for an hour.

[00:47:37] So I'm tired now.

[00:47:38] I've been here for the last few days.

[00:47:39] You know.

[00:47:39] Drinking and partying.

[00:47:40] I'll be down an hour.

[00:47:41] I'm not.

[00:47:42] Not bad.

[00:47:42] Remember.

[00:47:42] So I went upstairs.

[00:47:43] And I was lying down.

[00:47:44] I was looking at my phone.

[00:47:45] Right.

[00:47:45] Just to get away from people.

[00:47:46] And I was fine.

[00:47:46] But then.

[00:47:48] I got a text in my phone.

[00:47:50] And the.

[00:47:51] The person who got married.

[00:47:53] His name is Brendan.

[00:47:54] Right.

[00:47:55] So.

[00:47:55] I'm looking at my phone.

[00:47:57] I'm kind of drowsy.

[00:47:58] And I get a text.

[00:47:59] And it's from my fiance.

[00:48:00] Just saying.

[00:48:02] Don't worry.

[00:48:03] Brendan's okay.

[00:48:05] And I thought.

[00:48:07] What the hell is that happening?

[00:48:08] Because there's a pool there.

[00:48:09] And we're all drinking.

[00:48:10] Like what.

[00:48:10] And even though.

[00:48:11] It's an infinity pool.

[00:48:12] So if you go over the other side of it.

[00:48:13] There's just a sheer drop.

[00:48:15] Like.

[00:48:15] Oh.

[00:48:16] It's just like the glass wall.

[00:48:17] Yeah.

[00:48:18] And then it's just a drop down a.

[00:48:21] Hillside.

[00:48:21] Right.

[00:48:22] Yeah.

[00:48:23] Not for me.

[00:48:23] So I was like.

[00:48:24] What's.

[00:48:25] Okay.

[00:48:26] And I of course jumped up.

[00:48:27] And I was like.

[00:48:28] I better go down.

[00:48:28] And see what's happening.

[00:48:29] And as soon as I opened the door.

[00:48:30] I could hear Brendan.

[00:48:32] Like.

[00:48:33] He.

[00:48:33] He has a band.

[00:48:34] With him.

[00:48:35] And him and a few friends.

[00:48:36] They have a band.

[00:48:38] I'd get around.

[00:48:38] But it's like rock music.

[00:48:39] But he's belting out some ACDC song.

[00:48:42] Because he's the singer.

[00:48:44] Did she just mean he was okay?

[00:48:46] And it's like.

[00:48:47] ACDC.

[00:48:47] Brendan's okay.

[00:48:48] As in.

[00:48:48] I think she was.

[00:48:49] Was he her ACDC?

[00:48:50] Because she had never.

[00:48:51] We had never heard him live.

[00:48:52] So I think she was just saying.

[00:48:54] He's actually pretty good.

[00:48:55] I think that's just.

[00:48:56] You know.

[00:48:56] An Irish thing of not going to overly.

[00:48:59] Right.

[00:48:59] You don't want to be too complimentary.

[00:49:00] But just being like.

[00:49:01] He's okay.

[00:49:02] You know.

[00:49:02] He's not bad.

[00:49:03] And then.

[00:49:04] I was like.

[00:49:06] I don't know.

[00:49:06] Yeah.

[00:49:07] I was like.

[00:49:07] I opened the door.

[00:49:08] And I didn't realize.

[00:49:09] Like when I went upstairs.

[00:49:10] He wasn't singing or anything.

[00:49:11] And I'd have no reason to think.

[00:49:13] Right.

[00:49:14] You didn't know the set started.

[00:49:15] Yeah.

[00:49:15] And I was like.

[00:49:16] There's a band.

[00:49:16] Like there's a band there.

[00:49:17] I'd have no reason to think.

[00:49:18] That Brendan's going to take over.

[00:49:19] The band and sing away.

[00:49:21] Yeah.

[00:49:22] Afterwards it makes sense.

[00:49:23] But like.

[00:49:23] I just opened the door.

[00:49:23] And I heard him roaring out.

[00:49:25] You know.

[00:49:26] Thunderstruck or something.

[00:49:27] And I was like.

[00:49:29] Okay.

[00:49:29] I don't really know.

[00:49:30] Something happened.

[00:49:32] Yeah.

[00:49:32] It was like a run walk down.

[00:49:34] To ask.

[00:49:34] Is he okay.

[00:49:35] But.

[00:49:36] For bad joke gate.

[00:49:38] Um.

[00:49:39] When you sit down with Henderson.

[00:49:41] And he says.

[00:49:42] Look.

[00:49:42] There's a lot of people unhappy.

[00:49:44] They.

[00:49:45] They have.

[00:49:46] A lot of people in your country.

[00:49:47] Emperor Glenn.

[00:49:48] Thank you by the way.

[00:49:49] For coming along.

[00:49:51] To the interview.

[00:49:52] Right.

[00:49:54] Great to be here.

[00:49:55] Nice.

[00:49:56] The.

[00:49:56] The thing is.

[00:49:58] A lot of people weren't happy.

[00:49:59] Because a lot of them have done.

[00:50:02] At least a dozen comedy classes.

[00:50:04] And they don't think that joke.

[00:50:07] Fits in with what they've learned.

[00:50:08] In these classes.

[00:50:09] And they've spent thousands on them.

[00:50:11] To be the best comedians in the world.

[00:50:13] So.

[00:50:14] Why.

[00:50:14] Why did you tell that joke?

[00:50:16] What's.

[00:50:16] What.

[00:50:16] What.

[00:50:16] It's not.

[00:50:17] It's not a joke.

[00:50:18] Right.

[00:50:18] You're going to confirm that.

[00:50:20] Well.

[00:50:20] People are upset.

[00:50:21] I would say that it's very much.

[00:50:23] And comedy is subjective.

[00:50:24] And whether people agree.

[00:50:27] That I think it's weird.

[00:50:28] That my wife.

[00:50:29] Would simply text me.

[00:50:31] Everyone is okay.

[00:50:32] Without content.

[00:50:32] I think.

[00:50:34] You know.

[00:50:34] I just heard a story.

[00:50:36] From a young man.

[00:50:37] The other day.

[00:50:37] About how.

[00:50:38] When he was on a wedding trip.

[00:50:40] To Spain.

[00:50:40] His fiance sent him.

[00:50:42] A very similar text message.

[00:50:43] I think this is a very.

[00:50:45] Relatable situation.

[00:50:46] That a lot of people.

[00:50:48] Have or will someday.

[00:50:50] Find themselves in.

[00:50:52] Because people are not.

[00:50:53] Not giving enough context.

[00:50:55] When they are sending out.

[00:50:56] These potentially life-changing text messages.

[00:50:59] Hey.

[00:51:00] You know.

[00:51:00] You can.

[00:51:01] You can bring up.

[00:51:02] The most masculine.

[00:51:04] And funniest friends you have.

[00:51:05] With their stories about Spain.

[00:51:06] But it still doesn't change the fact.

[00:51:08] That.

[00:51:10] People are upset.

[00:51:11] That that joke.

[00:51:12] Goes against every.

[00:51:13] Class that they learned.

[00:51:16] In their comedy course.

[00:51:17] I would be interested.

[00:51:18] To hear.

[00:51:18] What classes these people have taken.

[00:51:20] Because.

[00:51:22] While I don't.

[00:51:23] Often.

[00:51:24] Make fun of my wife.

[00:51:26] In my act.

[00:51:29] Comedy for a while.

[00:51:31] In the 80s and 90s.

[00:51:32] Was just dudes in their 40s.

[00:51:34] Complaining about women.

[00:51:35] You know.

[00:51:36] That is the key building block.

[00:51:37] The fact that you do not have.

[00:51:39] A one hour set.

[00:51:40] Of the old ball and chain.

[00:51:42] I don't think you've once called her.

[00:51:43] The ball and chain.

[00:51:44] Never.

[00:51:44] That's an accusation.

[00:51:45] That's been thrown at you.

[00:51:47] She's either a ball.

[00:51:48] Norah chain.

[00:51:48] Let alone both together.

[00:51:51] Preposterous.

[00:51:52] And if.

[00:51:54] You're not going to call her that.

[00:51:55] Then really are you.

[00:51:56] The funniest man here.

[00:51:57] Which is apparently the only reason.

[00:51:58] Why you're the.

[00:51:59] The emperor of this country.

[00:52:01] Oh is that how I got the gate?

[00:52:02] I think that's how you got it.

[00:52:04] Yeah yeah.

[00:52:05] Well.

[00:52:05] I've never claimed to be.

[00:52:07] The funniest.

[00:52:08] Person on Buckaroo.

[00:52:10] I've claimed.

[00:52:11] Several times.

[00:52:12] In this past hour alone.

[00:52:13] To be the best.

[00:52:14] Dr. Mario player.

[00:52:15] And I stand by that.

[00:52:16] So you're going to challenge people.

[00:52:17] Who can fucking.

[00:52:19] Who can detron you.

[00:52:20] Through Dr. Mario.

[00:52:22] If you can beat me.

[00:52:23] Okay.

[00:52:24] In Dr. Mario.

[00:52:25] So look.

[00:52:26] Unless.

[00:52:27] Unless.

[00:52:29] Christopher Bidwell.

[00:52:30] Has defected.

[00:52:30] To.

[00:52:31] To join Buckaroo.

[00:52:32] I don't think.

[00:52:33] These constituents have.

[00:52:35] That's another very good.

[00:52:36] Dr. Mario player.

[00:52:36] Right.

[00:52:37] Right.

[00:52:37] Yeah.

[00:52:38] I don't think.

[00:52:39] My normal constituents.

[00:52:41] Have a chance.

[00:52:42] Sorry.

[00:52:43] Christopher Bidwell.

[00:52:44] Bidwell.

[00:52:45] Yeah.

[00:52:45] Good name.

[00:52:46] He helps organize the tournament.

[00:52:48] He's nice.

[00:52:49] He's very good at.

[00:52:50] Dr. Mario.

[00:52:52] He's a man in the shadows.

[00:52:53] Really controlling.

[00:52:54] Everything.

[00:52:55] He's like Tyrion.

[00:52:56] In Game of Thrones.

[00:52:57] He's pulling the strings.

[00:52:57] Or Tywin.

[00:52:58] He's Tywin.

[00:52:59] Isn't he?

[00:53:00] Sure.

[00:53:00] I don't know enough about.

[00:53:02] Game of Thrones.

[00:53:03] Like.

[00:53:03] Like.

[00:53:03] Charizard's Dance.

[00:53:05] Okay.

[00:53:06] So you're saying.

[00:53:06] You're staying in charge.

[00:53:08] And you're not apologizing.

[00:53:09] For that.

[00:53:10] Non-joke.

[00:53:10] That people are saying.

[00:53:11] Is a non-joke.

[00:53:12] And you're saying.

[00:53:13] Anyone wants to come for the king.

[00:53:14] You better not miss.

[00:53:15] Dr. Mario.

[00:53:16] Yeah.

[00:53:17] Yeah.

[00:53:17] Okay.

[00:53:17] Good.

[00:53:18] Good.

[00:53:18] I mean.

[00:53:19] I'm saying as like.

[00:53:20] Advisor.

[00:53:20] That's good.

[00:53:21] Good.

[00:53:21] You know.

[00:53:22] I'm standing by my statement.

[00:53:23] And my ability to stack bills.

[00:53:25] Yeah.

[00:53:26] Yeah.

[00:53:26] No.

[00:53:26] Good.

[00:53:26] Good.

[00:53:26] And you challenged everyone.

[00:53:27] And I'm sure nobody will try and.

[00:53:29] Try and.

[00:53:30] Take you out.

[00:53:31] Baby fools too.

[00:53:32] You know.

[00:53:33] With this whole.

[00:53:35] People unhappy.

[00:53:37] Your news station.

[00:53:38] They obviously are all in on Emperor.

[00:53:40] Emperor Glenn.

[00:53:41] Right.

[00:53:41] They're all about you.

[00:53:43] Do you want.

[00:53:44] Any propaganda documentary done about you.

[00:53:47] Any.

[00:53:47] Any fantastical fact we can make.

[00:53:48] Or we can make it up.

[00:53:49] Or it can be true.

[00:53:50] And just tell people.

[00:53:51] This is.

[00:53:52] What Emperor Glenn is really like.

[00:53:54] Because right now.

[00:53:55] The only time they see you.

[00:53:56] Is when you're complaining.

[00:53:57] Every week.

[00:53:57] Saying.

[00:53:58] You're all mean to me.

[00:53:59] Right.

[00:53:59] They all tune in to the podcast.

[00:54:01] Yeah.

[00:54:01] To hear me talk about.

[00:54:02] How they hurt my feelings.

[00:54:03] Yeah.

[00:54:05] I do think.

[00:54:07] I would.

[00:54:09] I would probably use.

[00:54:11] My power as Emperor.

[00:54:12] To inflate.

[00:54:14] How good I am at Dr. Mario.

[00:54:16] I think.

[00:54:16] After a while.

[00:54:17] People would be afraid.

[00:54:19] To like.

[00:54:20] Actually play me.

[00:54:21] And they would be throwing matches.

[00:54:23] To not.

[00:54:25] Offend the Emperor.

[00:54:26] Her ego.

[00:54:27] Why would they throw matches at you?

[00:54:29] What?

[00:54:30] I think I would realize.

[00:54:31] That's what's going on.

[00:54:32] And I would just let it happen.

[00:54:35] You know.

[00:54:36] Like.

[00:54:37] They would throw the game.

[00:54:39] They would not be playing to the best of their ability.

[00:54:42] I thought you meant lit matches.

[00:54:44] No.

[00:54:45] Like lit matches on fire.

[00:54:46] I thought they were trolling matches at you.

[00:54:48] Like a match.

[00:54:49] Okay.

[00:54:50] Sorry.

[00:54:50] Three games of Dr. Mario.

[00:54:51] Genuinely.

[00:54:52] No.

[00:54:52] They're not hurling fire at me.

[00:54:55] They're so afraid.

[00:54:56] That's how they finally get me to resign.

[00:55:00] No.

[00:55:00] But like.

[00:55:01] They're playing bad on purpose.

[00:55:02] So that I win.

[00:55:04] I think.

[00:55:05] For like a week.

[00:55:06] That.

[00:55:07] I just feel like I'm the best.

[00:55:09] Yeah.

[00:55:09] But then after a while.

[00:55:10] I realize what's going on.

[00:55:12] But then I don't say anything.

[00:55:13] And I just let it keep happening.

[00:55:15] Yeah.

[00:55:15] Yeah.

[00:55:15] So you have everyone throwing games for you.

[00:55:18] And then when it's live and televised.

[00:55:19] They think you are unbelievably good.

[00:55:21] So nobody's going to come.

[00:55:22] Take your.

[00:55:23] Your crown.

[00:55:24] Your tiara from Claire's.

[00:55:25] Yeah.

[00:55:25] And I think.

[00:55:26] I think I know what they're doing.

[00:55:28] But I don't.

[00:55:30] I don't stop.

[00:55:30] Go along with it.

[00:55:31] Yeah.

[00:55:32] Yeah.

[00:55:32] Yeah.

[00:55:32] Because it feels good to win.

[00:55:34] Absolutely.

[00:55:34] Yeah.

[00:55:35] So you're.

[00:55:35] You insist on not losing.

[00:55:37] But not.

[00:55:38] You don't.

[00:55:38] You don't verbally say.

[00:55:40] Don't let me lose.

[00:55:41] But you're okay with it.

[00:55:42] Yeah.

[00:55:43] When it.

[00:55:44] Oh.

[00:55:44] I do have.

[00:55:45] A knock on your door.

[00:55:46] Knock, knock, knock.

[00:55:47] Of your apartment.

[00:55:48] I guess.

[00:55:48] Knock, knock, knock.

[00:55:50] Knock, knock, knock.

[00:55:51] Knock, knock, knock.

[00:55:52] Hello.

[00:55:53] Why are you knocking on the door?

[00:55:54] Wait.

[00:55:54] What?

[00:55:55] No.

[00:55:56] I'm.

[00:55:57] Yeah.

[00:55:57] Welcome.

[00:55:58] Oh.

[00:55:59] Hello.

[00:55:59] Hi.

[00:56:00] I'm.

[00:56:00] I'm.

[00:56:01] Sorry.

[00:56:02] I didn't.

[00:56:02] When I was knocking on the door.

[00:56:03] You said knock, knock, knock.

[00:56:04] And I assumed you were knocking on the door as well.

[00:56:07] On the inside.

[00:56:07] No.

[00:56:08] It's.

[00:56:08] I was just repeating it.

[00:56:09] Because it's a sound that I heard.

[00:56:11] So.

[00:56:11] Oh.

[00:56:12] Okay.

[00:56:12] Hi.

[00:56:13] I'm Paul.

[00:56:13] I'm the.

[00:56:14] Sometimes you hear a sound and you say the sound back.

[00:56:16] Is that just me?

[00:56:17] Hi, Paul.

[00:56:18] Hi, Paul.

[00:56:19] I am the finance guy in your country.

[00:56:22] So I just want to let you know where the country's doing really well economically.

[00:56:26] We're making a lot of money.

[00:56:27] The Dr. Mario tournament is genius.

[00:56:30] We sold it to Netflix.

[00:56:31] That's cool.

[00:56:31] And.

[00:56:33] The people are very happy with you.

[00:56:35] Okay.

[00:56:36] That's good to hear.

[00:56:37] Now.

[00:56:38] They're not that creative.

[00:56:39] You saw them with the comedy classes.

[00:56:42] They have not.

[00:56:42] Sure.

[00:56:42] Yeah.

[00:56:43] Okay.

[00:56:43] I was very disappointed.

[00:56:45] Yeah.

[00:56:47] They would just like to know.

[00:56:48] Okay.

[00:56:48] The people really want to build you something.

[00:56:51] To celebrate you.

[00:56:52] Okay.

[00:56:52] And I know you're maybe not the sort who really wants that.

[00:56:55] But it's for them.

[00:56:56] You know what I mean?

[00:56:56] It's.

[00:56:57] They want to do it.

[00:56:58] They just want an idea from you.

[00:57:00] Now.

[00:57:01] We have a hundred billion in the bank.

[00:57:02] So we're okay with building it.

[00:57:04] And we can go.

[00:57:05] They want it big.

[00:57:06] Big and impressive.

[00:57:07] Like a world wonder.

[00:57:08] Any ideas?

[00:57:09] If I.

[00:57:10] If I was going to commission a monument to myself.

[00:57:14] Hmm.

[00:57:15] I do think.

[00:57:16] What we have to do.

[00:57:18] Is.

[00:57:18] We give.

[00:57:19] We give the moon a moon.

[00:57:20] A moon.

[00:57:22] So.

[00:57:23] You know how earth has a moon?

[00:57:24] Yeah.

[00:57:25] I've heard of it.

[00:57:25] Yeah.

[00:57:26] What.

[00:57:26] What we have to do.

[00:57:28] Is.

[00:57:29] We carve.

[00:57:30] An asteroid.

[00:57:32] In the shape.

[00:57:33] Of a Dr. Mario pill.

[00:57:35] Okay.

[00:57:36] And we set that baby in orbit.

[00:57:37] Around the moon.

[00:57:38] And then we give the earth's moon.

[00:57:40] Its own moon.

[00:57:42] And it's called.

[00:57:43] From the people of Buckaroo.

[00:57:45] And it's called either the glen moon.

[00:57:46] Or the tickle moon.

[00:57:47] I think that one we can go tickle moon.

[00:57:49] That's not bad to be honest.

[00:57:50] The tickle moon.

[00:57:51] Because I think that's ridiculous enough.

[00:57:52] That it fits.

[00:57:53] You know.

[00:57:53] Yeah.

[00:57:55] Well.

[00:57:56] I'd say.

[00:57:56] I would think in that context.

[00:57:57] If someone said.

[00:57:58] Oh yeah.

[00:57:59] No.

[00:57:59] That's the tickle moon.

[00:57:59] Then I would think.

[00:58:00] Oh.

[00:58:01] There must be some professor.

[00:58:02] From the like.

[00:58:03] From Oxford.

[00:58:04] From 1910.

[00:58:05] Who founded the idea of space.

[00:58:06] Called.

[00:58:07] Not just some maniac.

[00:58:08] Up the coast of New Jersey.

[00:58:10] Benjamin tickled.

[00:58:11] Esquire.

[00:58:11] Or something there.

[00:58:12] Like.

[00:58:12] Oh yeah.

[00:58:13] I don't know why.

[00:58:13] But.

[00:58:15] Why?

[00:58:15] What?

[00:58:16] Why?

[00:58:16] Why do you need?

[00:58:17] What's the fascination with the moon?

[00:58:19] I just think.

[00:58:20] It's great.

[00:58:21] It's.

[00:58:22] There's.

[00:58:22] Yeah.

[00:58:22] No.

[00:58:22] It's cool.

[00:58:23] There's a lot of statues.

[00:58:25] Yeah.

[00:58:26] Of people.

[00:58:27] And then.

[00:58:27] You know.

[00:58:30] 50.

[00:58:30] 100 years down the line.

[00:58:32] No one knows who that person is.

[00:58:33] Yeah.

[00:58:34] Who cares?

[00:58:35] It's just some guy in a park now.

[00:58:37] But.

[00:58:37] Stuff.

[00:58:38] Like you mentioned.

[00:58:40] World wonders.

[00:58:41] Like.

[00:58:41] You know.

[00:58:42] The pyramids were built for specific.

[00:58:44] People.

[00:58:44] Yeah.

[00:58:45] And most people don't remember who.

[00:58:46] But it's still a giant triangle in the desert.

[00:58:48] That's pretty cool.

[00:58:50] Yes.

[00:58:50] So.

[00:58:51] What we do.

[00:58:52] Is we give.

[00:58:53] The moon a moon.

[00:58:54] And then.

[00:58:56] It's just there all the time.

[00:58:58] And then people are like.

[00:58:59] Man.

[00:58:59] I remember before the moon had its own moon.

[00:59:02] And it's weird that that moon is in the shape of a pill from Dr. Mario.

[00:59:05] But.

[00:59:05] You know.

[00:59:06] Here we are.

[00:59:07] You know now that.

[00:59:08] Dr. Mario moon.

[00:59:10] The tickle moon.

[00:59:11] Yeah.

[00:59:11] That's not going to go around in orbit by itself.

[00:59:13] We're probably going to have strapped like a spaceship on the back of it.

[00:59:16] Just to constantly.

[00:59:16] Well.

[00:59:18] No.

[00:59:18] That's the thing is.

[00:59:20] There's.

[00:59:20] There's smarter people than me.

[00:59:22] Oh.

[00:59:22] They'll figure that out.

[00:59:23] Yeah.

[00:59:23] How to do it.

[00:59:25] Because this is a real thing.

[00:59:27] I don't know where the mission currently stands.

[00:59:30] But.

[00:59:31] When I was.

[00:59:32] Working as a writer at that website that I was in charge of for a while.

[00:59:36] Due to poor decisions on their part.

[00:59:39] There was a plan.

[00:59:41] From NASA.

[00:59:42] To study an asteroid.

[00:59:43] They were going to.

[00:59:44] Capture it basically.

[00:59:45] And put it in orbit around the moon.

[00:59:46] The moon.

[00:59:47] So they can just like.

[00:59:48] Keep it in one spot.

[00:59:49] Kind of.

[00:59:50] Okay.

[00:59:50] So they can go look at it.

[00:59:52] And.

[00:59:53] I loved the idea that.

[00:59:55] NASA was going to give the moon a moon.

[00:59:57] Yeah.

[00:59:57] But in.

[00:59:58] In that mission.

[00:59:59] They do mention.

[01:00:00] They're like.

[01:00:00] Well it can't stay there.

[01:00:01] Like we can't just keep it forever.

[01:00:03] Yeah.

[01:00:04] But I think they meant more of like.

[01:00:06] You know.

[01:00:06] If you catch a butterfly.

[01:00:08] You got to let it go.

[01:00:09] You know.

[01:00:09] I think.

[01:00:10] But like.

[01:00:11] So they were thinking of the humane aspect.

[01:00:13] Of capturing an asteroid.

[01:00:14] I don't know.

[01:00:15] If it was.

[01:00:16] It's unfair.

[01:00:17] To the asteroid's journey.

[01:00:18] Because they wanted to let it go live its life.

[01:00:20] Yeah.

[01:00:20] Or if.

[01:00:21] If it was just.

[01:00:23] That is like the gravity.

[01:00:25] Math doesn't work out.

[01:00:26] Are you sure you aren't just watching the start of like a Pixar short.

[01:00:29] Where like.

[01:00:30] It's the main character is an asteroid.

[01:00:32] No.

[01:00:32] But if you want.

[01:00:33] If you want to pitch for a NASA Pixar movie.

[01:00:37] Yeah.

[01:00:37] There was a mission.

[01:00:39] To land.

[01:00:40] To do a landing on an asteroid.

[01:00:43] Yes.

[01:00:44] And.

[01:00:44] It.

[01:00:45] It lost contact.

[01:00:47] For a while.

[01:00:48] Right.

[01:00:48] So it landed.

[01:00:50] There's like the.

[01:00:51] The ship.

[01:00:52] Basically.

[01:00:53] Uh.

[01:00:54] And then the.

[01:00:56] The landers separated.

[01:00:58] Went to the asteroid.

[01:00:59] They lost contact for a while.

[01:01:01] And then.

[01:01:02] It was like unclear.

[01:01:03] If it was getting back.

[01:01:04] And they were getting like sun signals.

[01:01:06] But people kept like.

[01:01:08] NASA was like personifying this lander.

[01:01:10] As like a cute little cartoon thing.

[01:01:13] Yeah.

[01:01:13] And then when it like.

[01:01:15] Got stranded.

[01:01:16] Everyone's like.

[01:01:18] Well now we feel bad.

[01:01:19] Yeah.

[01:01:20] It's not like.

[01:01:21] It's not a robot in space anymore.

[01:01:22] It's this cute little guy that you drew.

[01:01:25] And that.

[01:01:26] I would watch that movie.

[01:01:27] And it would destroy me emotionally.

[01:01:29] You know.

[01:01:30] It's a lot less grand.

[01:01:32] But when you say about like.

[01:01:34] Humanizing something like that.

[01:01:36] I said to you.

[01:01:37] We have three cats.

[01:01:38] Right.

[01:01:38] As pets.

[01:01:39] Yeah.

[01:01:40] A couple of weeks ago.

[01:01:42] Maybe months ago.

[01:01:42] I was walking downstairs.

[01:01:44] With a small little box.

[01:01:45] That.

[01:01:46] I had got.

[01:01:48] D&D character on.

[01:01:50] Basically.

[01:01:51] A small little Amazon box.

[01:01:52] Right.

[01:01:53] With the address.

[01:01:53] And everything on it.

[01:01:54] And.

[01:01:55] It was.

[01:01:56] You know.

[01:01:56] I was ripped open and stuff.

[01:01:57] But I was going.

[01:01:58] Out to the bin with it.

[01:01:59] And my fiance.

[01:02:00] There was something in it.

[01:02:01] Rattling as I was walking past.

[01:02:02] And my fiance went.

[01:02:03] Oh he sounds nervous.

[01:02:05] Just like a throwaway comment.

[01:02:06] And I was like.

[01:02:06] What do you mean?

[01:02:07] He's like.

[01:02:07] Out of the box.

[01:02:07] Sounds nervous.

[01:02:08] And I was like.

[01:02:08] All right.

[01:02:09] And I thought.

[01:02:09] Well of course he is.

[01:02:10] I'm throwing him into the bin.

[01:02:11] Like.

[01:02:12] I mean.

[01:02:13] But then I was like.

[01:02:14] Oh I feel really bad now.

[01:02:15] Because now I'm after.

[01:02:17] Oh he does sound nervous.

[01:02:18] I'm about to.

[01:02:18] I'm about to kill him.

[01:02:19] And I have.

[01:02:21] A hundred pairs of little googly eyes.

[01:02:23] In a press in the kitchen.

[01:02:24] And I was like.

[01:02:25] I'll just put some googly eyes on him.

[01:02:27] And he's sitting there for the last couple of months.

[01:02:28] On the shelf.

[01:02:29] Boxy.

[01:02:30] Love boxy.

[01:02:31] Well.

[01:02:32] I won't let any harm come to that box.

[01:02:34] I thought.

[01:02:35] I thought you meant.

[01:02:36] Your cat was inside of it.

[01:02:38] And she thought the cat.

[01:02:39] Was nervous.

[01:02:40] Was nervous.

[01:02:41] That you were going to throw the cat out.

[01:02:43] Usually when I tell that story.

[01:02:44] I say I have a new pet.

[01:02:46] And I say.

[01:02:46] So I was about to throw my new pet out.

[01:02:48] And then they're like.

[01:02:49] Excuse me.

[01:02:50] No no no.

[01:02:50] You'll understand.

[01:02:51] Yeah.

[01:02:52] Okay.

[01:02:53] I will.

[01:02:53] I have.

[01:02:54] I think three more questions.

[01:02:56] And then I'm done.

[01:02:56] Okay.

[01:02:57] Sure.

[01:02:59] There is.

[01:03:01] Your advisors would like to say.

[01:03:02] That they think.

[01:03:04] You should have maybe a photo op.

[01:03:05] Right.

[01:03:06] You know how you have in Russia.

[01:03:07] You had Putin sitting on a bear.

[01:03:09] No.

[01:03:10] No top on.

[01:03:11] He looked very masculine.

[01:03:12] Yeah.

[01:03:12] Right.

[01:03:13] And.

[01:03:13] You think of something like that.

[01:03:15] To make you look.

[01:03:16] Look good.

[01:03:17] Do you have any ideas.

[01:03:17] What sort of photo op we do.

[01:03:19] Oh.

[01:03:19] I think.

[01:03:20] If I could do it.

[01:03:22] There's.

[01:03:23] So there was a limited number of.

[01:03:25] Like standalone.

[01:03:26] Dr. Mario arcade cabinets.

[01:03:28] That were made.

[01:03:29] Yeah.

[01:03:30] I know.

[01:03:31] A guy who has.

[01:03:32] One of them.

[01:03:33] I think.

[01:03:34] If I could.

[01:03:35] Get one of those.

[01:03:37] And then I would stand on it.

[01:03:39] While.

[01:03:40] Juggling.

[01:03:41] Uh.

[01:03:43] Lit.

[01:03:43] Like.

[01:03:44] Replica.

[01:03:45] Dr. Mario pills.

[01:03:46] Like light them on fire.

[01:03:47] And I'm juggling them.

[01:03:48] Mm.

[01:03:49] Um.

[01:03:50] I don't think me being shirtless.

[01:03:51] Would add anything to how impressive of a photo.

[01:03:54] I think that would be.

[01:03:55] You could add more shirts.

[01:03:57] I think it would be a two shirt minimum.

[01:03:59] Two shirt minimum.

[01:04:00] And then I.

[01:04:00] Yeah.

[01:04:01] I'll go.

[01:04:01] I'll go full.

[01:04:02] Dr. Mario cosplay.

[01:04:03] I'll have the lab coat on.

[01:04:05] The little head mirror.

[01:04:06] Do you want us to.

[01:04:06] Juggle some flaming.

[01:04:08] Dr. Mario pills.

[01:04:08] On top of a Dr. Mario cabinet.

[01:04:10] Do you want us to.

[01:04:11] Um.

[01:04:12] Photoshop that a bit.

[01:04:13] Where you have your.

[01:04:14] Tickle moon behind you.

[01:04:16] Oh.

[01:04:17] For sure.

[01:04:17] Yeah.

[01:04:18] Yeah.

[01:04:18] Yeah.

[01:04:18] Look very nice.

[01:04:19] Um.

[01:04:20] Okay.

[01:04:21] So we'll put that up.

[01:04:22] Put that out there.

[01:04:22] Front page of everything.

[01:04:24] It'll be the image for your podcast.

[01:04:27] Or.

[01:04:27] You.

[01:04:28] You're not going to damage the.

[01:04:29] The.

[01:04:30] Cabinet.

[01:04:31] Standing on.

[01:04:31] No.

[01:04:32] Uh.

[01:04:32] We might have to reinforce it.

[01:04:33] I'm.

[01:04:33] I'm a.

[01:04:34] Yeah.

[01:04:35] Guy.

[01:04:36] Um.

[01:04:37] The other option.

[01:04:38] Uh.

[01:04:39] I know you've already said.

[01:04:39] You haven't seen it.

[01:04:40] The end credits of.

[01:04:42] The adventures of Buckaroo Banzai.

[01:04:43] Across the eighth dimension.

[01:04:45] Uh.

[01:04:46] Is the cast of the movie coming out.

[01:04:48] Like.

[01:04:48] Curtain call style.

[01:04:49] Yeah.

[01:04:49] Yeah.

[01:04:49] Yeah.

[01:04:49] Yeah.

[01:05:05] 1984.

[01:05:05] When the movie came out.

[01:05:06] It was presented as like.

[01:05:08] This is very cool.

[01:05:10] Uh.

[01:05:10] And I think.

[01:05:12] Recreating that.

[01:05:14] Would be fun to do.

[01:05:15] And I'm sure that.

[01:05:16] That movie is very popular.

[01:05:18] On Buckaroo.

[01:05:19] So people will know.

[01:05:20] On the island for sure.

[01:05:21] Yeah.

[01:05:22] Yeah.

[01:05:22] People know.

[01:05:24] Uh.

[01:05:25] Yeah.

[01:05:25] We.

[01:05:25] We watch it every year.

[01:05:27] Um.

[01:05:27] On the anniversary of when it came out.

[01:05:29] People are off from work.

[01:05:32] John Lithgow.

[01:05:33] Uh.

[01:05:34] Jeff Goldblum.

[01:05:34] And.

[01:05:35] Uh.

[01:05:35] Peter Weller.

[01:05:36] Are.

[01:05:37] Our national heroes.

[01:05:38] Yeah.

[01:05:39] Oh.

[01:05:39] Okay.

[01:05:39] I thought they just.

[01:05:40] You just get them in to review it.

[01:05:41] No.

[01:05:42] They just fly in for no reason.

[01:05:43] When you're doing your photo op.

[01:05:44] You said that it's the cast that do that.

[01:05:46] Are you doing it on your own.

[01:05:47] In your version.

[01:05:49] No.

[01:05:49] I think what we do is we.

[01:05:51] Uh.

[01:05:52] We bring back the cast.

[01:05:53] Oh.

[01:05:54] And make them.

[01:05:54] We get everybody.

[01:05:55] River.

[01:05:56] Everybody to recreate it.

[01:05:57] Um.

[01:05:58] Some of them have died.

[01:05:59] So I think I could.

[01:06:01] Get their widows.

[01:06:03] I'm trying to think of.

[01:06:04] I.

[01:06:05] So.

[01:06:06] Uh.

[01:06:06] Jeff Goldblum plays a character.

[01:06:07] Whose nickname is New Jersey.

[01:06:09] And I've long said that.

[01:06:11] If they remake the movie.

[01:06:12] I should get to play New Jersey.

[01:06:14] So we kill Jeff Goldblum.

[01:06:16] So.

[01:06:16] No.

[01:06:17] Okay.

[01:06:18] Uh.

[01:06:18] But I think I.

[01:06:19] I think I take his place.

[01:06:20] In the strut walk.

[01:06:22] I don't think Peter Weller.

[01:06:23] Would want to do it.

[01:06:25] So maybe.

[01:06:26] I just go in there.

[01:06:27] And replace him as Buckaroo.

[01:06:29] Because it seems like Jeff Goldblum.

[01:06:31] Would be more game.

[01:06:33] Okay.

[01:06:33] So we'll keep Jeff Goldblum.

[01:06:35] Where he is.

[01:06:35] And you replace.

[01:06:36] I think Jeff Goldblum.

[01:06:37] Might show up for this.

[01:06:38] Yeah.

[01:06:38] If you tried to recreate.

[01:06:40] That scene.

[01:06:42] With.

[01:06:43] The surviving cast.

[01:06:44] I don't think Peter Weller.

[01:06:46] Wants to show up.

[01:06:46] I don't think he wants to do it.

[01:06:48] You're.

[01:06:48] And you're not willing.

[01:06:49] To push the boat out for him.

[01:06:50] No.

[01:06:51] Uh.

[01:06:52] I mean.

[01:06:52] We.

[01:06:52] We'd put the offer out.

[01:06:54] But you know.

[01:06:55] When he turns it down.

[01:06:56] I don't.

[01:06:56] I don't think we push that hard.

[01:06:58] Okay.

[01:06:58] So then I go in there.

[01:07:00] Well.

[01:07:01] Because then it lets me be Buckaroo.

[01:07:02] Yeah.

[01:07:04] Yeah.

[01:07:04] You're on.

[01:07:05] He.

[01:07:05] Peter Weller is famous.

[01:07:07] Like he'll go to fan events.

[01:07:08] And get mad at people.

[01:07:09] For asking him about Robocop.

[01:07:10] Even though.

[01:07:11] The whole reason to do a fan event.

[01:07:13] Is to ask Robocop.

[01:07:14] About Robocop.

[01:07:15] Yeah.

[01:07:15] And I don't.

[01:07:16] I don't necessarily disagree with him.

[01:07:18] Uh.

[01:07:18] It would be a.

[01:07:19] Annoying being asked the same.

[01:07:21] Five questions about the Robocop suit.

[01:07:23] For 40 years.

[01:07:23] But.

[01:07:24] Yeah.

[01:07:24] Um.

[01:07:25] He doesn't seem like a guy.

[01:07:27] Who's that into revisiting his past work.

[01:07:29] Yeah.

[01:07:29] Once he's done the work.

[01:07:30] He's done.

[01:07:31] So you think.

[01:07:32] Well this kind of kills two birds with one stone.

[01:07:34] Because then you'd be able to play a part.

[01:07:35] In this.

[01:07:36] Scene.

[01:07:37] Yeah.

[01:07:38] And you'd be able to be Buckaroo.

[01:07:39] Far this way through a river.

[01:07:41] Or strut dancing.

[01:07:42] Because he's kind of in the middle.

[01:07:42] As everybody's like strut dancing through.

[01:07:44] Yes.

[01:07:45] And then you'll have Jeff Goldwyn by your side.

[01:07:48] Yeah.

[01:07:48] You'll hang out with Jeff Goldwyn.

[01:07:49] I think this is.

[01:07:50] Clancy Brown would be there.

[01:07:52] Ellen Barkin.

[01:07:52] This is much better then.

[01:07:53] Yeah.

[01:07:54] It would be.

[01:07:54] Yeah.

[01:07:55] That would probably.

[01:07:56] I think that.

[01:07:56] I think that instead of Dr. Mario.

[01:07:58] Cool.

[01:07:59] Okay.

[01:07:59] Um.

[01:08:00] I.

[01:08:01] Have a knock on the door for you.

[01:08:02] Knock, knock, knock.

[01:08:03] Knock, knock.

[01:08:04] Hello.

[01:08:05] Hello there.

[01:08:05] Uh.

[01:08:06] I get.

[01:08:06] I get what you're doing.

[01:08:07] Hi there.

[01:08:07] Um.

[01:08:08] It's Paul again.

[01:08:08] Hi.

[01:08:09] I just want to let you know the update on the Tickle Moon.

[01:08:12] Um.

[01:08:13] Let's hear it.

[01:08:13] I.

[01:08:14] I'll just be quick because I have a plane to catch.

[01:08:16] I'm going on my 28 week holiday to France.

[01:08:21] Um.

[01:08:21] Sure.

[01:08:22] That I've saved.

[01:08:23] As is customary.

[01:08:24] In our land.

[01:08:25] 28 weeks.

[01:08:26] Nice.

[01:08:26] Um.

[01:08:27] One third of the year.

[01:08:28] And.

[01:08:29] The new moon.

[01:08:30] Tickle Moon.

[01:08:31] It's up and running.

[01:08:32] It's working perfect.

[01:08:33] Shaped like a Dr. Mario pill.

[01:08:35] It's red and blue.

[01:08:36] It's flying around.

[01:08:37] It's stuck in the orbit.

[01:08:38] It should be lasting for decades to come without any worry.

[01:08:41] Um.

[01:08:42] So yeah.

[01:08:42] People are really happy.

[01:08:43] They're like.

[01:08:43] Geez.

[01:08:44] We've just done something amazing.

[01:08:45] People remember the legacy of Buckaroo and Emperor Glenn.

[01:08:48] Now.

[01:08:48] I didn't check the spreadsheet again.

[01:08:49] Because it cost a lot of money.

[01:08:51] Um.

[01:08:51] It cost 90 billion to do.

[01:08:54] Um.

[01:08:54] It's an expensive endeavor.

[01:08:55] Yeah.

[01:08:56] It also turns out that there was a minus sign in front of the 100 billion.

[01:08:59] So we're actually now minus 190 billion in debt.

[01:09:03] Um.

[01:09:03] Because we didn't have any money.

[01:09:04] So yeah.

[01:09:05] Um.

[01:09:06] I'm going to go on holiday.

[01:09:07] I presume because the IMF.

[01:09:08] The International Monetary Fund.

[01:09:09] They're just emailing and asking like.

[01:09:11] What the hell is going on?

[01:09:11] Do we have to take over your country?

[01:09:13] You're broke.

[01:09:14] Um.

[01:09:14] So I'll let you deal with that.

[01:09:15] Paul is going to go on holiday.

[01:09:18] Have a great time.

[01:09:19] I can't wait.

[01:09:20] Five star hotel.

[01:09:21] Thanks very much Emperor.

[01:09:22] Bye.

[01:09:22] Bye.

[01:09:24] So it was the question.

[01:09:26] Now what do I do?

[01:09:27] What do you do?

[01:09:28] Because Paul, your finance guy just left you at 190 billion in debt.

[01:09:32] I mean that's nothing compared to the debt held by the country I currently reside in.

[01:09:38] So.

[01:09:39] I wonder is it the scale?

[01:09:41] I'm barely sweating 190 million.

[01:09:44] A billion.

[01:09:45] Doesn't matter.

[01:09:48] This is where you might want to think about leaving.

[01:09:50] Um.

[01:09:52] Well.

[01:09:53] I do think this is where.

[01:09:54] This is where the brilliant part two.

[01:09:56] Of my plan to give the moon a moon.

[01:10:00] Oh.

[01:10:00] Is.

[01:10:01] We can launch that baby at earth whenever we want.

[01:10:04] Like we can fling that thing out of orbit.

[01:10:06] Around the moon.

[01:10:07] And straight at.

[01:10:09] Whatever.

[01:10:11] Whatever.

[01:10:11] Whatever part of the planet we want to.

[01:10:14] We want to take care of.

[01:10:16] So where's the IMF?

[01:10:17] Helsinki.

[01:10:18] You're gone.

[01:10:19] I will throw an asteroid at you so hard.

[01:10:20] But I'm pretty sure.

[01:10:22] And I've only watched a couple of movies.

[01:10:24] But.

[01:10:25] When an asteroid hits earth.

[01:10:27] They usually don't go.

[01:10:28] Oh my God.

[01:10:29] You know.

[01:10:30] Senator.

[01:10:30] The US asteroid is about to hit Vegas.

[01:10:32] I guess we move to Europe.

[01:10:34] Like.

[01:10:34] I'm pretty sure they're like.

[01:10:36] We need to.

[01:10:36] That's a question of scale.

[01:10:39] You know.

[01:10:40] Most.

[01:10:41] Most things when they enter the earth's atmosphere.

[01:10:43] Just burn up harmlessly.

[01:10:46] The Dr. Mario pill.

[01:10:48] Tickle moon.

[01:10:49] Was specifically designed.

[01:10:51] And shaped.

[01:10:53] And selected.

[01:10:55] For its ability.

[01:10:56] To be a weapon.

[01:10:57] Used.

[01:10:58] As a doomsday weapon.

[01:11:00] Should anyone cross me.

[01:11:02] Fucking hell.

[01:11:02] I did not expect this twist from.

[01:11:04] Can you please stop bullying me people.

[01:11:06] That makes me feel bad.

[01:11:07] Anyway.

[01:11:07] I'll be back in three days.

[01:11:10] That's what.

[01:11:11] To disintegrate my enemies.

[01:11:13] It's.

[01:11:14] It's people.

[01:11:15] It's.

[01:11:15] I have a silly name.

[01:11:16] And dimples.

[01:11:17] People underestimate me.

[01:11:18] I'm.

[01:11:18] I'm petty.

[01:11:20] And I'll.

[01:11:21] I will.

[01:11:22] I will.

[01:11:22] I will hurl an asteroid at earth.

[01:11:24] If given the chance.

[01:11:25] Okay.

[01:11:26] So you've hurled.

[01:11:27] The tickle moon.

[01:11:28] The most dangerous weapon.

[01:11:30] To ever have been used.

[01:11:32] On this planet.

[01:11:33] At Helsinki.

[01:11:34] Which we're saying.

[01:11:35] Is now where the IMF live.

[01:11:36] Yeah.

[01:11:37] Which might.

[01:11:37] It's probably not true.

[01:11:39] We've already established.

[01:11:40] I'm not great at.

[01:11:40] Yeah.

[01:11:41] And I'm.

[01:11:41] I'm more than proud to say this.

[01:11:42] Fuck Finland.

[01:11:43] So.

[01:11:45] I've never been there.

[01:11:47] Although I do hear.

[01:11:47] There's a.

[01:11:48] There's a pretty thriving.

[01:11:49] English comedy scene.

[01:11:51] English comedy scene.

[01:11:53] Finland.

[01:11:54] So.

[01:11:54] Finland is like.

[01:11:56] Very high.

[01:11:56] On a lot of very like.

[01:11:57] Positive lists.

[01:11:59] All right.

[01:11:59] So maybe we shouldn't.

[01:12:01] Nuke it from space.

[01:12:01] With an asteroid.

[01:12:02] Might be too late.

[01:12:04] So.

[01:12:05] I mean.

[01:12:06] Okay.

[01:12:06] I do have one last question.

[01:12:08] Sure.

[01:12:09] Now.

[01:12:10] I could go in a whole different direction.

[01:12:12] Because of the whole sudden.

[01:12:14] You are the biggest tyrant to ever.

[01:12:16] Beyond this planet.

[01:12:18] In history.

[01:12:19] But after that.

[01:12:21] The people.

[01:12:22] You know.

[01:12:22] The people might decide.

[01:12:23] Look.

[01:12:24] I wasn't on boardroom with that joke.

[01:12:26] It just has really.

[01:12:27] Eaten away at me for ages.

[01:12:28] And now that he has.

[01:12:30] Destroyed Europe.

[01:12:31] And most of Asia.

[01:12:33] Well.

[01:12:34] Hmm.

[01:12:36] I do think the threat of the asteroid.

[01:12:38] On its own.

[01:12:40] Would.

[01:12:41] Be enough to get the.

[01:12:42] The balance sheet cleared.

[01:12:44] But you.

[01:12:45] But you just used it.

[01:12:46] And now it's gone.

[01:12:47] And.

[01:12:48] Like.

[01:12:49] I'm saying we threaten to use it.

[01:12:51] I'm willing to.

[01:12:52] I want to be clear.

[01:12:53] Oh.

[01:12:53] Oh.

[01:12:54] Sorry.

[01:12:54] Your people launched it.

[01:12:55] I.

[01:12:55] When you said we launched it.

[01:12:57] I.

[01:12:58] Then.

[01:12:58] Yeah.

[01:12:59] It happens.

[01:13:00] Yeah.

[01:13:00] Well then.

[01:13:02] Then yeah.

[01:13:03] I don't know.

[01:13:04] Then we're the.

[01:13:05] Well then we gotta obviously.

[01:13:06] Start shopping around for a second asteroid.

[01:13:08] Just in case.

[01:13:09] I think your people are going to be like.

[01:13:11] We might.

[01:13:11] We might.

[01:13:12] We might think about getting someone new in.

[01:13:14] Maybe.

[01:13:14] Maybe it's one asteroid.

[01:13:16] Per ruler.

[01:13:17] How about that lads.

[01:13:18] We'll do one asteroid.

[01:13:19] It's like a wasp.

[01:13:20] Once you use your sting.

[01:13:21] You're out of there.

[01:13:22] It does seem like.

[01:13:24] That would.

[01:13:25] That's.

[01:13:25] That.

[01:13:26] That's fair.

[01:13:27] I think that's fair.

[01:13:29] If I drop an asteroid from space.

[01:13:31] And they're like.

[01:13:31] All right.

[01:13:31] You gotta pack it in.

[01:13:33] I'd be like.

[01:13:33] Yeah.

[01:13:33] You've kind of done enough.

[01:13:34] You can't do anything else.

[01:13:35] Fair call.

[01:13:36] Yeah.

[01:13:37] I.

[01:13:37] And then I.

[01:13:38] Then I retire.

[01:13:39] So.

[01:13:40] The question I have is though.

[01:13:41] That they do say to you.

[01:13:43] Listen.

[01:13:43] You have done a good job.

[01:13:44] Do you.

[01:13:45] Do you have any air.

[01:13:46] Any ideas on who would be your air.

[01:13:48] Who would take over.

[01:13:49] The only thing is.

[01:13:50] You have to pick someone who's actually alive.

[01:13:51] It can't be a hypothetical person.

[01:13:54] Um.

[01:13:56] You know.

[01:13:57] I've already mentioned them once.

[01:13:58] I would turn it over.

[01:13:59] To Chris Bidwell.

[01:14:01] The organizer of the World Doctor Mario Championship.

[01:14:04] He does a great job with that event.

[01:14:05] Yeah.

[01:14:06] So I don't see why he.

[01:14:07] Couldn't run a.

[01:14:08] Run a country.

[01:14:09] Off the.

[01:14:09] Off the coast of New Jersey.

[01:14:10] Do you know him.

[01:14:12] Personally.

[01:14:12] A bit.

[01:14:13] Not like.

[01:14:14] Super well.

[01:14:14] But.

[01:14:15] Would he.

[01:14:15] Launch a.

[01:14:16] Asteroid in any European country.

[01:14:18] Um.

[01:14:19] Maybe the sort.

[01:14:20] He doesn't seem the type.

[01:14:22] No.

[01:14:22] He's a more worldly man.

[01:14:24] Would he ever do a comedy class.

[01:14:27] That he might do.

[01:14:30] Blech.

[01:14:31] Um.

[01:14:32] I wouldn't rule it out.

[01:14:34] It doesn't.

[01:14:35] Seem like something he aspires to.

[01:14:37] But.

[01:14:38] He might do it.

[01:14:39] Okay.

[01:14:40] As a lark.

[01:14:41] You know.

[01:14:41] So you'll leave it to him.

[01:14:42] And you will go back to your home.

[01:14:45] Apparently.

[01:14:46] Legally cleared of all crimes.

[01:14:48] Um.

[01:14:49] Well I think.

[01:14:50] Do I.

[01:14:50] Am I exiled.

[01:14:51] Or do I need to stay.

[01:14:52] Oh no.

[01:14:52] You can stay there if you want.

[01:14:53] You can stay in your apartment.

[01:14:54] No no no no no.

[01:14:55] You're well liked.

[01:14:56] I'll stay.

[01:14:56] Booker.

[01:14:56] I'll stick around.

[01:14:57] You might want to stay.

[01:14:58] You might be in trouble if you're elsewhere.

[01:15:00] Yeah.

[01:15:00] I think if I leave at this point.

[01:15:02] If I leave.

[01:15:02] The island.

[01:15:03] There's going to be some complications.

[01:15:04] Yeah.

[01:15:05] That.

[01:15:05] That.

[01:15:05] That new moon lasted like three days.

[01:15:08] Before.

[01:15:08] Yeah.

[01:15:09] Right.

[01:15:10] Once it was in orbit.

[01:15:11] I was so.

[01:15:12] To hurl it back down in there.

[01:15:14] What a great achievement.

[01:15:16] To human engineering.

[01:15:18] And then immediately.

[01:15:18] We've done it.

[01:15:19] A Finland shaped hole in the arc.

[01:15:21] Finland.

[01:15:22] Oh no.

[01:15:24] Glenn Tickle.

[01:15:25] Where do people find you online?

[01:15:27] I'm just at Glenn Tickle.

[01:15:29] On.

[01:15:30] Whatever social media.

[01:15:32] I'm still on.

[01:15:33] Are you touring at the minute.

[01:15:35] Or are you doing it.

[01:15:36] I will be.

[01:15:40] Around.

[01:15:41] Yeah.

[01:15:43] I do.

[01:15:44] I do a lot.

[01:15:45] The problem is.

[01:15:49] Aren't worth.

[01:15:50] Promoting.

[01:15:50] Because like.

[01:15:51] I'll be like.

[01:15:51] Oh.

[01:15:52] I'm going to be in Kansas City.

[01:15:53] And people are like.

[01:15:53] Oh.

[01:15:53] When can I come see you?

[01:15:54] Would you.

[01:15:55] Unless you change professions.

[01:15:56] Not this trip.

[01:15:57] Unless you're willing to commit.

[01:15:58] To a new.

[01:15:59] Career.

[01:16:00] Yeah.

[01:16:01] Yeah.

[01:16:01] Okay.

[01:16:02] Cool.

[01:16:02] So.

[01:16:02] Did you say you're on Instagram.

[01:16:04] And threads.

[01:16:04] Right?

[01:16:05] I'm on Instagram.

[01:16:06] And threads.

[01:16:07] Yeah.

[01:16:07] I bailed.

[01:16:09] On Twitter.

[01:16:10] When Elon.

[01:16:11] Took over.

[01:16:12] Yeah.

[01:16:13] I'm on TikTok.

[01:16:14] But don't use it that much anymore.

[01:16:16] But I'm around.

[01:16:16] It's an uncommon name.

[01:16:17] I'm pretty easy to find online.

[01:16:19] Yes.

[01:16:20] Thanks for doing the podcast.

[01:16:22] And thanks for listening.

[01:16:23] Just before I go.

[01:16:25] Any.

[01:16:25] When you go back into your little apartment.

[01:16:27] And away from the political life.

[01:16:29] Any last words.

[01:16:30] You shout over to your wife.

[01:16:31] Across the pond.

[01:16:32] Or any of the people.

[01:16:35] You know.

[01:16:35] Last words of advice.

[01:16:36] That you'd give them.

[01:16:37] Before they go ruling themselves.

[01:16:40] Oh.

[01:16:41] I think we have to go with.

[01:16:42] No matter where you go.

[01:16:44] There you are.

[01:16:44] Okay.

[01:16:45] It's a quote from Buckaroo Bonsai.

[01:16:47] Oh is it?

[01:16:48] No matter where you go.

[01:16:49] There you are.

[01:16:49] Yeah.

[01:16:50] I don't get that.

[01:16:51] What's that mean?

[01:16:52] It's a.

[01:16:54] I believe.

[01:16:55] Slightly erroneously.

[01:16:56] Translated quote.

[01:16:57] From.

[01:17:00] Some Eastern philosopher.

[01:17:02] I hadn't a clue.

[01:17:03] So Buckaroo is half Japanese.

[01:17:04] And half American.

[01:17:05] So he's got like.

[01:17:06] Ah.

[01:17:07] An interest in.

[01:17:08] Japanese philosophy.

[01:17:10] Oh like.

[01:17:10] Steven Seagal.

[01:17:11] It comes from there.

[01:17:12] Yeah.

[01:17:12] It's like.

[01:17:13] So.

[01:17:13] I get it.

[01:17:14] I'll have to watch it.

[01:17:14] Okay.

[01:17:15] Yeah.

[01:17:15] Bye everyone.

[01:17:16] Bye everyone.