Jordan Holmes, Knowledge Fighting, Clown Honking Ruler of Pants

[00:00:00] Hello, this is The Tyrant In Training Podcast and I am Kevin, I am the host of the podcast. This podcast is an improv comedy podcast where guests rule as the tyrannical overlord they always wanted to be on an island. This week's guest is comedian and podcaster Jordan from the Excellent Knowledge Fight Podcast. In this episode, Jordan is also known as Clown Central of Ireland. If you don't live on an island, you can't call it an island, you have to call it something else. You actually have to call it Pants, named after the wonderful actor Joe Pantoliano.

[00:00:30] Jordan has decreed that and he's also decreed that everyone who wants to be in government is allowed to be as long as they're all locked into a room together where they can't ever escape. There's also a Secretary of Retribution and D-Retribution who's much more popular and Jordan dabbles in this episode in Necromancy, Fine Dining and Living in a Hobbit Hole. Here is some out of context quotes from Jordan about what he finds are bright spots in running his own country.

[00:00:53] Necromancy would probably be what tears down my administration.

[00:00:57] You've got a thing, you watch people through a camera. That's kind of creepy sometimes.

[00:01:00] But I do want you to know that it's honkable.

[00:01:03] I don't want to say cram it up your ass, but I want you to get the vibe.

[00:01:09] Who is recording the national anthem? Oh man, this actually might be my real scandal.

[00:01:14] And just to mention, you can subscribe to the Tyrant in Training podcast everywhere you find podcasts online.

[00:01:18] The website for the podcast is tyrantintraining.podcast page.

[00:01:22] And on social media, you can find me on Blue Sky Treads and Instagram at Kev Ryan Person.

[00:01:27] And the Tyrant in Training podcast is at Tyrant Podcast on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok.

[00:01:33] Okay, thanks for listening. And here is Clown Central.

[00:01:36] I should say, because Jordan, you are one half of the Knowledge Fight podcast.

[00:01:41] Indeed.

[00:01:41] Where you have such fun listening to Alex Jones all the time, right?

[00:01:44] Best parts of your life.

[00:01:45] It's a delight.

[00:01:46] Would you allow anyone a Joe Rogan figure on your island?

[00:01:49] Or would you be like, no, I'm not having that. That's just no point.

[00:01:52] Um, I mean, when you ask yourself that question, you should also ask yourself the question of like,

[00:01:59] would my heart be so soft that I would allow the person who was bitten by the zombie to like come along?

[00:02:07] Or would you have the strength inside to say, regardless of what I think is like right or wrong in this scenario,

[00:02:16] you simply must be rejected regardless of, uh, uh, uh, you know, morality's sake.

[00:02:22] So are you suggesting that you would let Joe Rogan on, but you chop off his leg and arm because he's-

[00:02:27] I mean, if that's where we start, then I say that's a good starting point.

[00:02:33] I don't know where the finish is until the problem is over.

[00:02:36] So that's, that's something that we'll find out together, me and Joe.

[00:02:39] Once he stops being a problem, then we'll be, we'll be done.

[00:02:43] But I, I, yeah, the arm and a leg would be a good start.

[00:02:46] Right. So we'll take off just the body and the torso and head he has, and then we'll start off.

[00:02:50] Perfect.

[00:02:51] Whatever it takes to learn.

[00:02:53] Yeah.

[00:02:53] Yeah.

[00:02:54] You know?

[00:02:55] Yeah.

[00:02:55] That's a good baseline.

[00:02:56] That's good.

[00:02:56] That's a good, um, over, overriding philosophy for your island, right?

[00:03:00] Whatever it takes.

[00:03:01] Whatever it takes to learn.

[00:03:03] Okay.

[00:03:03] So the first question is, do you have any idea where you're going to actually set this island?

[00:03:08] We don't take over a country.

[00:03:09] I'll, I'll build you up a new island.

[00:03:11] It'll all be fine.

[00:03:12] So I don't know how you are with geography, but I can share a, share a map of the world

[00:03:16] and you can site anywhere you want in the world to set your island.

[00:03:19] All right.

[00:03:20] Well, first off, there's a, there's a, there's a, an attraction to the ring of fire.

[00:03:25] Naturally.

[00:03:25] If you're going to have your own island.

[00:03:28] Yes.

[00:03:28] It seems cooler to have a volcano.

[00:03:32] That describes though, a certain kind of psychological failing of human beings, which is that coolness

[00:03:37] is often equated with, uh, life altering danger.

[00:03:41] Yeah.

[00:03:42] The eventual, if not inevitable death and destruction.

[00:03:45] Yes.

[00:03:46] By the way, it's a lighthearted podcast.

[00:03:47] I'll just throw that in there.

[00:03:48] But yes, you were saying about that.

[00:03:50] Sure.

[00:03:50] But I mean, you know, like Pompeii, when you go and you look at the walls of Pompeii, the

[00:03:55] graffiti on Pompeii, it's all fucking based.

[00:03:59] And of course it is because if you're near a volcano, you're fucking hot.

[00:04:03] It's hot.

[00:04:04] It's sexy.

[00:04:05] Yeah.

[00:04:05] Yeah.

[00:04:06] Yeah.

[00:04:06] It is sexy.

[00:04:06] On the edge of danger.

[00:04:07] You know, is it the sexiest natural disaster?

[00:04:10] I would say so.

[00:04:11] Yeah.

[00:04:12] I would say volcanoes.

[00:04:13] Definitely.

[00:04:13] I mean, just from just a base, you know, like elemental visual metaphor sense.

[00:04:20] There's definitely a sexiness there.

[00:04:22] What about the fire tornadoes?

[00:04:24] Fire tornadoes?

[00:04:26] There is a thing called fire tornadoes, right?

[00:04:27] Yeah.

[00:04:28] Sure.

[00:04:28] Sure.

[00:04:28] But that's, that's more like an exaggerated fart.

[00:04:31] You don't want to, you don't want a fire tornado in your life.

[00:04:34] That's what you call it.

[00:04:35] Nobody wants that.

[00:04:36] Nobody wants that.

[00:04:37] But let's say this.

[00:04:38] Okay.

[00:04:39] Ring of fire is not a good place long term or for like a, a dominant society.

[00:04:46] It's a great place long term for a fuck based society.

[00:04:50] So what, what are we talking about?

[00:04:52] That's my question for you.

[00:04:54] What do you think is what we're going for here?

[00:04:56] Are we going for happiness or are we going for eventual universe domination?

[00:05:01] Virginia, that's, that's as, as you're being the ruler.

[00:05:03] That is kind of what, what you're looking for.

[00:05:05] Like, are you looking for, I mean, because you've, you've immediately gone for, ooh, ring

[00:05:10] of fire, but there's a drawback.

[00:05:12] Do you want to be within sight of it so that people can look and then get horny, but not

[00:05:16] be in mortal danger all the time?

[00:05:18] So long term, they're fine.

[00:05:19] Ooh, that is a good question.

[00:05:21] I mean, it's less cool.

[00:05:24] It's less cool to be in a pop punk band than it is to be in an actual punk band.

[00:05:30] I mean, they'll be aroused.

[00:05:32] I'm sure if they're, if they're, if they're a couple of, if, if they're on the perimeter

[00:05:36] of the band, they'll be aroused.

[00:05:38] Right.

[00:05:39] Okay.

[00:05:39] Sure.

[00:05:40] I'm not saying they won't.

[00:05:41] Okay.

[00:05:42] You know what?

[00:05:43] We'll, we'll compromise.

[00:05:44] Uh, I will, I will take within view of a good volcano, like an Iceland scenario, but with

[00:05:52] a, you know, a more tropical Island based around an Iceland kind of, uh, proximity to

[00:05:59] and less danger from volcanoes.

[00:06:01] You just want to be able to see the thing when it explodes somewhere.

[00:06:04] Uh, yeah.

[00:06:05] And if, if air travel is, uh, screwed up for a couple of days, that'll maybe increase

[00:06:10] our tourism.

[00:06:11] So I think that's great.

[00:06:12] I think, Oh yeah, that's already working out that.

[00:06:14] Yeah.

[00:06:14] Okay.

[00:06:14] We'll set that.

[00:06:15] Okay.

[00:06:16] That's 100%.

[00:06:17] Quite cool.

[00:06:18] Um, when your Island is set up, do you have any idea what your official title is going

[00:06:24] to be?

[00:06:24] What are people meant to call you?

[00:06:26] Uh, meant to call me specifically.

[00:06:28] Yeah.

[00:06:29] Ooh.

[00:06:29] I mean, you know, your, your natural instinct is towards, uh, either, uh, uh, like, uh,

[00:06:38] uh, egotistical megalomaniacal moniker or towards, uh, an almost like, uh, over exaggerated humility,

[00:06:48] like first citizen, you know?

[00:06:51] Oh God.

[00:06:51] Yeah.

[00:06:52] Yeah.

[00:06:52] And that's the, that's the type of person that the first citizen person is far more

[00:06:56] terrifying to be than the like king mother of murder town.

[00:07:02] First citizen is a liar who's going to murder everybody.

[00:07:05] Um, so my moniker, I'm going to just go with like, uh, clown central.

[00:07:11] So you are clown central.

[00:07:13] My name's clown central.

[00:07:14] If anyone's looking for you on a map, they'll be able to find clown central.

[00:07:18] Clown central.

[00:07:20] Okay.

[00:07:20] You're looking for clown central.

[00:07:21] Uh, because that way everybody who's like, oh, this ruler is doing a bad job.

[00:07:27] Clown central.

[00:07:28] And you're like, well, yeah, it's clown central.

[00:07:30] It's clown central.

[00:07:31] Clown central is doing a bad job.

[00:07:32] Yes.

[00:07:33] What do you think he's doing?

[00:07:34] Right?

[00:07:35] Right.

[00:07:35] You've got a built in excuse before you start fucking things up to be a fuck up.

[00:07:41] And with the central part, like central sounds very like official, not even official, but

[00:07:47] very, um, doesn't mean anything.

[00:07:49] Just a, just an add on word to give you a weird, like slant consonants because it's C and C,

[00:07:58] but it's not C and C.

[00:07:59] What if people start calling you CC?

[00:08:01] Exactly.

[00:08:02] But they can't cause it's clown central.

[00:08:04] It would be Casey, but it's CC.

[00:08:06] See this again, these are, these are the ways you protect yourself.

[00:08:09] If you're going to be a tyrant, make people confused before they even meet you.

[00:08:15] But if people, if citizens, if you're out in the street somewhere or if one of your guards

[00:08:19] or whatever hears people referring to you as CC, are we punishing them?

[00:08:22] Are we saying, Hey, it's clown central.

[00:08:24] It's not.

[00:08:25] It's clown central.

[00:08:25] Why would it, why would I be mad?

[00:08:27] So you're okay with them calling you CC?

[00:08:29] I'm okay with them calling me clown.

[00:08:31] See, I'm undefeatable.

[00:08:33] I'm impenetrable.

[00:08:34] My armor is my lack of need for armor.

[00:08:37] Yes.

[00:08:38] Okay.

[00:08:38] You're like a very good monk in D and D.

[00:08:39] I got it.

[00:08:40] Okay.

[00:08:40] I walk through the city streets and they say, look at that clown.

[00:08:44] And I say, honk, honk.

[00:08:45] Do you have a nose?

[00:08:46] Ooh, what's your, I do.

[00:08:47] So do you, what's your official attire?

[00:08:49] Like you're, you're just a clown nose, like standard clown.

[00:08:52] You know, I think, I think a lot of people, uh, expect me to go with a more bozo route.

[00:09:00] Right.

[00:09:00] I am, I am far more of the sad clown, uh, than I, than I like to pretend.

[00:09:06] So I'm going to go with the solid dog-eared hat.

[00:09:08] Ooh, yes.

[00:09:09] I'm going to have a cigar, a lipstick painted around my lips.

[00:09:14] Yeah.

[00:09:14] And then a, a, a modestly honkable nose.

[00:09:19] I'm not, I'm not just overdoing it, but I do want you to know that it's honkable.

[00:09:24] And can people honk it?

[00:09:25] Or is it just specifically for you and your wife?

[00:09:27] I'm going to be honest with you.

[00:09:29] Yeah.

[00:09:29] I think there should be a line where people can't honk my nose unless I give them permission first.

[00:09:35] Oh, so that, yeah.

[00:09:36] So they're not allowed to do that.

[00:09:37] I think that's, I think that's a basic level of respect that you should show anybody,

[00:09:41] regardless of their space in society.

[00:09:45] Okay.

[00:09:46] So that's a full rule on the island.

[00:09:48] And no honking people's noses.

[00:09:50] No honking unless there's permission.

[00:09:52] No honking unless permission.

[00:09:53] So cars cannot notify passengers or pedestrians get out of the way.

[00:09:57] Perfect.

[00:09:57] Absolutely not.

[00:09:58] Excellent.

[00:09:58] Absolutely not.

[00:09:59] Let them, let them get hit or get out of the way.

[00:10:02] Keep your eyes to the front.

[00:10:04] Pretty good.

[00:10:05] I, since Clown Central is taking charge of this island, I must ask, what is going to be the

[00:10:09] name of your island?

[00:10:11] Do you, you don't want to, I mean, Jordanistan is, is kind of the obvious choice.

[00:10:17] For puns, but.

[00:10:19] I mean.

[00:10:21] Okay.

[00:10:22] So that's a, that's a deeper question.

[00:10:24] I think that you're, you're giving it.

[00:10:27] Yeah.

[00:10:27] Right.

[00:10:28] So what's the name for the island?

[00:10:30] Do you mean, what's the name that other people are going to call us?

[00:10:34] Other countries, other nations are going to call us?

[00:10:36] Or what is the name of our own, our people?

[00:10:39] What do we call ourselves?

[00:10:42] Do you know what I mean?

[00:10:43] I thought it'd be the same.

[00:10:44] I mean, you know, Ireland is Ireland.

[00:10:47] And then you would say you're living in Ireland.

[00:10:50] Ah, but there's a, there's a, there's a secret name that the Irish share amongst themselves.

[00:10:56] Big penis land.

[00:10:57] Yeah.

[00:10:57] Obviously they don't share with the British.

[00:10:59] Why would you?

[00:11:00] They fucking trying to kill everybody all the goddamn time.

[00:11:03] Yeah.

[00:11:03] That's the idea.

[00:11:04] It was only for like 800 years.

[00:11:06] Exactly.

[00:11:06] Right.

[00:11:07] I'm trying to avoid that.

[00:11:09] Clown central is going to get fucked over by the Brits.

[00:11:12] Okay.

[00:11:13] Clown central is post troubles.

[00:11:15] So you're, so you're immediately wary of the British.

[00:11:20] Listen, if you're going to be an island, you should be terrified of the British.

[00:11:25] That's a rule number one.

[00:11:27] Okay.

[00:11:28] If a British man shows up on your fucking wall, you throw about.

[00:11:32] That's solid fundamentals for starting an island.

[00:11:36] Okay.

[00:11:36] I've read a history book.

[00:11:38] Okay.

[00:11:39] So you, okay.

[00:11:40] So what would be your name that you and you and the lads on your island call each other

[00:11:45] or call your island?

[00:11:47] I'm going to have to go with island.

[00:11:50] Oh, just island.

[00:11:51] Yeah.

[00:11:52] We would call it island.

[00:11:53] So by calling it island, we would also take ownership of the word island.

[00:11:57] Like ours is the only space in the world.

[00:12:00] That way, whenever other people have problems or something, we could be like, no, no, no,

[00:12:05] no.

[00:12:05] You're not part of island.

[00:12:06] Okay.

[00:12:06] But what happens when I'm living on your island and I say, hey, I'm going to go on holidays

[00:12:12] to the Faroe Islands?

[00:12:13] Good luck.

[00:12:14] But am I allowed to call it Faroe Islands?

[00:12:17] Sure.

[00:12:18] Go ahead.

[00:12:19] Or Easter Island.

[00:12:20] That's not confusing.

[00:12:21] I don't know if people will want you back on island.

[00:12:24] Oh, so they're like, hey, there are societal norms that are going to be upheld by the people,

[00:12:30] whether I say something or not.

[00:12:32] Oh, okay.

[00:12:33] So your people are going to shun anyone who uses the word island outside of.

[00:12:36] I didn't say my people are going to do anything.

[00:12:39] I'm just saying that people.

[00:12:40] I can assure you they will.

[00:12:41] I can assure you, Sean, in situations like these.

[00:12:44] You have your choices of your own to make, sir.

[00:12:47] You want to go to the Faroe Islands?

[00:12:48] That's fine.

[00:12:49] Don't come back.

[00:12:50] Oh, so you're telling them don't come back.

[00:12:53] Fucking hell.

[00:12:55] Telling them they get to Faroe Islands.

[00:12:57] They were taken over by the British, I think, at some point.

[00:12:59] But, okay.

[00:13:00] Okay.

[00:13:01] Outside of island, what do you reckon people are going to call?

[00:13:06] Or what are you going to allow other countries to call you, I guess?

[00:13:09] Because, I mean, they can't just call it whatever they like.

[00:13:11] You know, I do suppose that we will have to have diplomatic relations with the rest of the world sooner or later.

[00:13:19] I mean, if you want an Irish pub on the island, then you're going to have to.

[00:13:22] That's true.

[00:13:23] And I do.

[00:13:24] Yeah.

[00:13:24] I really, really do.

[00:13:25] It's the only way we are able to get around another country.

[00:13:29] Just find an Irish pub.

[00:13:30] I've been to Ireland a few times now.

[00:13:34] And my favorite places on this planet are Irish pubs.

[00:13:38] So, I suppose in that case, we will allow the rest of the world to call us pants.

[00:13:44] Pants.

[00:13:45] Pants.

[00:13:47] Or, for long, Joey Pants.

[00:13:50] Just because, in honor of Joey Pantagliono, who's a very, very good actor.

[00:13:55] Yes.

[00:13:57] But, mainly just pants.

[00:13:59] Oh, so pants.

[00:14:01] It's like Ireland, Republic of Ireland, but everyone just says Ireland.

[00:14:04] Something like that.

[00:14:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:14:06] Pants.

[00:14:06] Okay.

[00:14:07] Pants slash island.

[00:14:09] Yeah, absolutely.

[00:14:10] I think people call themselves the island.

[00:14:12] And outside of the world, they call us pants.

[00:14:15] That way, you're always kind of sure of where it is we're not talking about.

[00:14:19] So, when you're at the UN, please welcome Clown Central of Pants.

[00:14:23] Yes.

[00:14:24] Exactly.

[00:14:25] And that should explain his whole modus operandi.

[00:14:28] Now, you ask yourself, this sounds ridiculous.

[00:14:30] This is moronic.

[00:14:32] But, I ask you this question.

[00:14:35] Exactly how do you declare war on Clown Central of Pants?

[00:14:39] I declare war on pants.

[00:14:41] You're not going to sell your people on, oh, oh, we've got to go to war with Clown Central of Pants.

[00:14:47] No, you don't.

[00:14:48] No, you don't.

[00:14:49] Yeah.

[00:14:49] Oh, we need to cut social services because we need to fund a war against Clown Central of Pants.

[00:14:55] No, you don't.

[00:14:56] Pants is the biggest threat to our democracy.

[00:15:00] No, it's not.

[00:15:01] Yeah.

[00:15:01] See?

[00:15:02] You can't win.

[00:15:03] Yeah.

[00:15:03] That's psychological warfare right there.

[00:15:05] Before it even begins.

[00:15:07] Oh, do you know what I should say?

[00:15:08] Your country will be set up and it'll be fine.

[00:15:10] I normally say there's like 10 million people on your island.

[00:15:13] Is that okay or is that too many or too few?

[00:15:15] Just as a round number.

[00:15:16] I'm going to say 10 million is probably too many.

[00:15:20] Really?

[00:15:20] Okay.

[00:15:21] I think in general, my island could work with around max 25,000.

[00:15:29] Oh, okay.

[00:15:30] Yeah.

[00:15:31] So it's a small, it's a spacious island, but small.

[00:15:34] Totally.

[00:15:35] Yeah.

[00:15:35] Right.

[00:15:36] Now, the rest of the 9,975,000 who were planning to come along.

[00:15:41] Sure.

[00:15:42] We're just telling them, go back to your homes.

[00:15:44] You're not wanted.

[00:15:44] It's one in, one out.

[00:15:46] Sorry, man.

[00:15:46] Do you have any, you know, with, I suppose you call them like the border police or whatever.

[00:15:54] Are you telling them, listen, anyone who comes onto the island, there's a particular pet peeve of mine or something that I don't want on the island.

[00:16:00] Like if someone's kicking puppies off rooftops, I'm sure you're going to be like, maybe not.

[00:16:04] I mean, I suppose, I suppose there's a general sense of, apologies.

[00:16:11] I suppose there's a general sense of, don't kick anything that hasn't asked for a kick.

[00:16:17] And that extends to most wildlife.

[00:16:23] Yes.

[00:16:25] But personally, like if there was one thing that I was going to outlaw entirely.

[00:16:31] Yeah.

[00:16:31] It would be if you are walking towards somebody and they are walking towards you at the same speed and time.

[00:16:39] Yeah.

[00:16:39] And if one of them tries to get out of the way and you try to get out of the way in the exact same direction.

[00:16:44] Yes.

[00:16:45] Then you both have to just keep walking forward directly into each other and fall down.

[00:16:48] Oh, there's no awkward.

[00:16:50] You can't, you can't try and get out of the way again.

[00:16:53] You can't, you get one try to juke and then it's into each other.

[00:16:57] You have to say, you have to begin the whole process of apologizing to somebody.

[00:17:02] And then you go on about your day.

[00:17:03] But we can't be having this dodging and weaving thing.

[00:17:06] What's that about?

[00:17:08] That's just, no, just, just move on.

[00:17:10] Like just move forward.

[00:17:11] We just can't have it.

[00:17:11] We just can't have it in a, in a society.

[00:17:14] You think, oh, the big problems are the ones that we need to deal with.

[00:17:18] But the truth is when you get the fundamental problems, right?

[00:17:21] Yeah.

[00:17:22] Good culture.

[00:17:22] Take care of the rest.

[00:17:23] It's good culture.

[00:17:24] Yeah.

[00:17:25] Yeah.

[00:17:25] Yeah.

[00:17:26] What?

[00:17:26] Nobody needs capitalism.

[00:17:28] Nobody needs like a $4 coffee.

[00:17:30] If you realize that by juking one time, you're going to run over another human being.

[00:17:36] Society flows from a completely different place.

[00:17:40] That tracks.

[00:17:40] That tracks.

[00:17:41] Actually, something that's, I suppose, a little less on the scale, but probably something that I notice a bit more is, you know, when someone's driving and then there's a pedestrian who wants to get across the road and they have enough time to do it.

[00:17:53] They're not going to be run over.

[00:17:54] But they start walking across and then they start jogging.

[00:17:59] Like they do the half walk, half jog.

[00:18:01] Would you say to them, listen, if you're going to walk, walk.

[00:18:04] If you're going to jog, jog.

[00:18:05] You can't half ass it.

[00:18:07] Do, do, do one or the other.

[00:18:08] Disagree.

[00:18:08] This is a polite person.

[00:18:10] If this person doesn't need to accelerate.

[00:18:13] Yeah.

[00:18:14] Then they're, they're doing their best to kind of signal not their need for survival, but their respect for another human being space.

[00:18:22] They're not out here half jogging because they think that's going to get them away faster.

[00:18:27] They're half jogging to let everybody know.

[00:18:29] I care about you also.

[00:18:31] If they do it the other way around.

[00:18:33] You also deserve to own space.

[00:18:34] Yeah.

[00:18:34] If they do it the other way around, they start to half jog and then slow down.

[00:18:38] Do you say it's then?

[00:18:38] If they slow down, that's, that's a little disrespectful.

[00:18:41] That's a signal of just like, hey, if I, you know what?

[00:18:44] I don't care enough to keep going.

[00:18:46] Off to the Faroe Islands.

[00:18:47] If you hit me.

[00:18:47] Yeah, exactly.

[00:18:48] Yeah.

[00:18:49] Absolutely.

[00:18:50] Faroe Islands is your gulag.

[00:18:51] I guess that's our new, that's our new, yeah, that's our, that's our whole little idiom that we share.

[00:18:56] Like, oh, that guy's going off to the Faroe Islands.

[00:18:58] They're murdered.

[00:18:59] That's the one we do.

[00:18:59] They're dead.

[00:19:00] Yeah.

[00:19:00] Oh, they're not murdered.

[00:19:02] They're literally sent to the Faroe Islands.

[00:19:04] Oh, yeah.

[00:19:05] Never to return.

[00:19:06] Okay.

[00:19:07] With a catapult.

[00:19:08] Right.

[00:19:09] Yeah.

[00:19:09] They'll land somewhere.

[00:19:12] So on your island of, well, I guess I can call it island, right?

[00:19:16] I'm technically there.

[00:19:17] So on island, the one thing I have to ask that and figure out when you set it up is you have 25,000 people.

[00:19:23] Would you have, like, your own inner council of 10 people to say you run the everyday part of the island and you deal with all the actual decision making?

[00:19:33] Or would you allow your people to vote for, I don't know, 20 senators, you know, to do whatever.

[00:19:40] But you, you, you're still ultimately in charge.

[00:19:43] But essentially, like, would you allow your people to vote or not?

[00:19:46] And by the way, just to point out that whatever you decide, your people are happy with.

[00:19:50] So if you say no voting ever, they're happy.

[00:19:53] Oh, no.

[00:19:53] I think, I think you're going to need to have a council of people.

[00:19:58] Yeah.

[00:19:58] And the thing about it that is really important to keep in mind is you're going to need a council of people because there are people who need to be on a council.

[00:20:08] Okay?

[00:20:09] Right.

[00:20:10] There do not need to be councils that can enforce things.

[00:20:15] Oh, yeah.

[00:20:15] If that makes sense to you.

[00:20:16] Yeah.

[00:20:16] Right?

[00:20:17] So if you allow the people who need to be on a council to be on a council.

[00:20:21] Yes.

[00:20:22] They will do council things.

[00:20:23] But at the same time, if you make sure that what they say has to be done can be very easily ignored.

[00:20:31] Yeah.

[00:20:31] Then the rest of the people who don't need to be on councils or want councils at all will still be allowed to go about their business.

[00:20:37] So everybody does what they need to do.

[00:20:40] Yes.

[00:20:40] Without getting in each other's way.

[00:20:42] The problem with councils isn't that they exist.

[00:20:44] It's that people listen to them.

[00:20:46] Right.

[00:20:46] Okay.

[00:20:47] So you're creating busy work for your government.

[00:20:49] No, I'm not creating busy work for my government.

[00:20:52] I'm creating the work that the people who need the work need.

[00:20:57] Okay.

[00:20:58] Some people need to go hunting or whatever it is they need to do.

[00:21:03] Right.

[00:21:03] Okay.

[00:21:04] So they go hunting.

[00:21:05] Yes.

[00:21:05] Some people need to argue about like minutiae.

[00:21:08] So they go argue about minutiae.

[00:21:11] We don't need to spend all of our time enacting minutiae.

[00:21:14] That doesn't make any sense.

[00:21:15] That's how we get Britain.

[00:21:17] So would you,

[00:21:18] so would you then appoint,

[00:21:21] I'll just say 10 people for that council to let them go off and do it?

[00:21:24] Or would you say to your 25,000 citizens,

[00:21:27] you can vote for the 10 you need and they can be senators or whatever they want to call themselves.

[00:21:32] They will vote for sure.

[00:21:34] Okay.

[00:21:34] It's absolutely a vote of votable position.

[00:21:37] And I trust the people to know if somebody wants to be on the council,

[00:21:42] that's where they should be.

[00:21:44] Do you know what I mean?

[00:21:45] Right.

[00:21:45] Yeah.

[00:21:46] Now,

[00:21:46] like if they voted in the traditional adage,

[00:21:50] you know,

[00:21:50] like if somebody wants power,

[00:21:52] then they're the last person you should trust with it.

[00:21:54] So what we do is we get all the people who want power together.

[00:21:58] Right.

[00:21:59] In the same place.

[00:22:00] Yes.

[00:22:00] And then like close it off with aluminum foil.

[00:22:04] But your people who voted them in,

[00:22:06] they wouldn't,

[00:22:08] they wouldn't be,

[00:22:09] they wouldn't fool themselves into like listening to those people who are just sitting on a council talking.

[00:22:14] Do you know what I mean?

[00:22:15] It's very important to listen to them.

[00:22:16] They have a lot of very important things to say.

[00:22:19] You just don't have to do it.

[00:22:20] You don't have to do it.

[00:22:21] Yeah.

[00:22:21] Yeah.

[00:22:22] Yeah.

[00:22:22] But if they voted,

[00:22:23] if your people,

[00:22:24] if,

[00:22:24] if,

[00:22:25] if someone said,

[00:22:26] Hey,

[00:22:26] great news.

[00:22:26] We're after voting in Tucker Carlson.

[00:22:29] Nice.

[00:22:29] You're okay with that.

[00:22:31] Perfect.

[00:22:32] That's where Tucker Carlson should be.

[00:22:34] Okay.

[00:22:34] He should be on the council.

[00:22:35] Yeah.

[00:22:36] Right.

[00:22:36] He's the type of person who needs to be on the council arguing about minutia.

[00:22:41] Whatever.

[00:22:41] Yeah.

[00:22:42] And he's also the type of person who needs to be in a room that's covered in aluminum foil.

[00:22:47] Yeah.

[00:22:47] Yeah.

[00:22:47] It doesn't see the sun.

[00:22:48] Yeah.

[00:22:48] We just combine the two.

[00:22:50] It makes perfect sense to me.

[00:22:51] You're going to roast him alive if you put him in an aluminum foil,

[00:22:54] by the way.

[00:22:55] Well,

[00:22:55] then somebody else gets to come onto Island.

[00:22:58] One in one out,

[00:22:59] man.

[00:22:59] Okay.

[00:22:59] It's a slow cook that.

[00:23:00] Okay.

[00:23:00] Um,

[00:23:02] crispy.

[00:23:03] Um,

[00:23:04] what type of house?

[00:23:05] Um,

[00:23:07] clown central,

[00:23:07] what type of house do you want to live in?

[00:23:08] Do you want a big mansion?

[00:23:09] No,

[00:23:10] no,

[00:23:11] I,

[00:23:11] I,

[00:23:11] I promise you of all the houses there are,

[00:23:15] or have ever been,

[00:23:16] uh,

[00:23:17] uh,

[00:23:18] uh,

[00:23:18] good old fucking Baggins Hobbit hole.

[00:23:21] Oh,

[00:23:21] yes.

[00:23:22] Yeah.

[00:23:22] That's the way to go.

[00:23:24] I don't want,

[00:23:24] I don't want space.

[00:23:26] I don't want to occupy people's minds.

[00:23:28] I want to cozy hole.

[00:23:30] Put it in the hill.

[00:23:32] Yeah.

[00:23:32] Yeah.

[00:23:32] Bag end.

[00:23:33] Like we can just recreate bag end if you like.

[00:23:36] Yeah.

[00:23:36] One hundred percent.

[00:23:37] Perfect.

[00:23:37] I mean,

[00:23:37] honestly,

[00:23:38] bag end might be a little ostentatious for me.

[00:23:40] Yeah.

[00:23:41] Yeah.

[00:23:41] Even,

[00:23:41] even in the books,

[00:23:42] it was noted that bag end was,

[00:23:44] was a fancy place.

[00:23:46] Yeah.

[00:23:47] And I'm not that kind of dude.

[00:23:48] I,

[00:23:49] I feel like,

[00:23:49] uh,

[00:23:50] opulence is asking for problems.

[00:23:53] Uh,

[00:23:53] so I would maybe go with a more modest bag end,

[00:23:56] but I'm also the ruler.

[00:23:58] So maybe I'd give myself a little zhuzh.

[00:24:01] Yeah.

[00:24:01] You know,

[00:24:01] maybe I've got a nice bath.

[00:24:03] Swimming pool?

[00:24:04] No,

[00:24:04] absolutely.

[00:24:04] No,

[00:24:05] nothing like that.

[00:24:06] no,

[00:24:06] but yeah,

[00:24:06] yeah.

[00:24:06] Nice public.

[00:24:07] Yeah.

[00:24:08] Bath is private.

[00:24:09] A bath is something that you can enjoy.

[00:24:11] It's luxuriated away in,

[00:24:13] in without like rubbing anybody else's face.

[00:24:15] Oh,

[00:24:15] with the tap on the side.

[00:24:16] So it's not sticking into your background.

[00:24:18] Oh my God.

[00:24:18] The tap on the side,

[00:24:20] man.

[00:24:20] Yeah.

[00:24:21] The tap on the side.

[00:24:22] How has that not been a standard operating procedure for my,

[00:24:26] I,

[00:24:27] the first time I saw that and went,

[00:24:29] my God,

[00:24:30] we've been,

[00:24:30] we've been living like cavemen for the last thousand years.

[00:24:33] It's insanity.

[00:24:35] It's insane.

[00:24:36] Yeah.

[00:24:37] okay.

[00:24:37] So you definitely have that.

[00:24:38] We'll get that.

[00:24:39] Right.

[00:24:39] That's perfect.

[00:24:40] That one,

[00:24:40] that one I'll take.

[00:24:41] By the way,

[00:24:42] this has nothing to do with the podcast.

[00:24:44] It's just,

[00:24:44] we actually did the,

[00:24:45] you know,

[00:24:45] the Lord of the Rings marathon watching all the movies recently.

[00:24:48] And my fiance,

[00:24:50] Celine asked who runs bag end at the end because Frodo goes away.

[00:24:54] Do you remember who like takes it over?

[00:24:56] Yeah.

[00:24:57] I believe Frodo actually has his own little,

[00:25:01] like,

[00:25:02] uh,

[00:25:03] wait,

[00:25:04] no,

[00:25:05] because at the end of the Lord of the Rings,

[00:25:08] do you mean the books or the movies?

[00:25:09] I mean,

[00:25:10] I suppose to,

[00:25:11] well,

[00:25:11] the books,

[00:25:11] I suppose,

[00:25:12] really,

[00:25:12] because,

[00:25:12] you know,

[00:25:12] the movie ends when he just leaves.

[00:25:14] Well,

[00:25:15] because in the books,

[00:25:16] yeah,

[00:25:16] you don't,

[00:25:17] in the movies,

[00:25:18] whenever the,

[00:25:19] the movies end,

[00:25:20] right?

[00:25:20] They go back and they have the happy ending and everybody goes away.

[00:25:23] But in the books,

[00:25:24] what happens is Frodo and the gang come back to the Shire.

[00:25:28] Yeah.

[00:25:28] And Saruman and Wormtongue are,

[00:25:30] are there and they burned the whole fucking place to the ground.

[00:25:34] So there is no home at the end of Lord of the Rings.

[00:25:37] Is that what?

[00:25:38] Oh,

[00:25:38] because I knew,

[00:25:39] yeah.

[00:25:39] Saruman is there.

[00:25:40] He's like sharky.

[00:25:41] And then he,

[00:25:41] he,

[00:25:42] they defend it.

[00:25:43] Right.

[00:25:43] But I didn't know.

[00:25:45] I can't wait to tell her that.

[00:25:46] So it's all,

[00:25:47] it's all chunked.

[00:25:48] Um,

[00:25:49] so I think Frodo gives it a way to,

[00:25:53] the,

[00:25:54] the like referenced relatives who are of disrepute.

[00:25:59] Uh,

[00:25:59] yeah.

[00:26:00] At the very beginning,

[00:26:01] you know,

[00:26:01] like the distance where the distant Baggins is who are kind of like

[00:26:05] shitty.

[00:26:06] Yeah.

[00:26:07] Yeah.

[00:26:07] Because who,

[00:26:08] what does he care anymore?

[00:26:09] It's fucking trash.

[00:26:11] Oh,

[00:26:11] yeah.

[00:26:12] Oh,

[00:26:12] okay.

[00:26:13] Yeah.

[00:26:13] I left tell her that.

[00:26:14] Um,

[00:26:15] I may be wrong.

[00:26:16] Cause I really haven't read return to the King in probably 25 years.

[00:26:19] Yeah.

[00:26:20] Yeah.

[00:26:20] Yeah.

[00:26:20] Yeah.

[00:26:21] But that isn't,

[00:26:22] it is an ending to remember.

[00:26:23] And especially more glaring whenever you see the movies with their five

[00:26:28] endings.

[00:26:28] Yeah.

[00:26:29] None of which are sorrow man burning down the Shire.

[00:26:31] Yeah.

[00:26:32] Yeah.

[00:26:32] That's what I,

[00:26:32] when,

[00:26:33] yeah.

[00:26:33] When,

[00:26:33] when he turns into Sharky and he's like a low level crook.

[00:26:36] Um,

[00:26:37] weird.

[00:26:37] Okay.

[00:26:37] So in your modest Bag End,

[00:26:39] I'm just going to call it,

[00:26:41] uh,

[00:26:41] do you have any sort of like throne room?

[00:26:43] Do you have any room that if you have to meet people,

[00:26:45] you're going to be like,

[00:26:46] here's where clown central does his,

[00:26:48] his,

[00:26:48] um,

[00:26:48] Oh no,

[00:26:49] absolutely not.

[00:26:50] Absolutely not.

[00:26:51] That's,

[00:26:52] that's the type of stuff that the council needs.

[00:26:54] The council needs a room for people to see them doing the work of not

[00:27:00] working,

[00:27:00] of not working.

[00:27:01] Yeah.

[00:27:02] Clown central.

[00:27:03] I'm in,

[00:27:04] I'm in the,

[00:27:04] I'm in the theater.

[00:27:06] You just come say hi to me.

[00:27:08] I'm clown central.

[00:27:09] You're in the theater.

[00:27:10] So you're,

[00:27:11] you have a cinema show.

[00:27:12] I'll be doing the show.

[00:27:13] You know,

[00:27:14] I'll be on the stage.

[00:27:15] I'll do a little,

[00:27:15] uh,

[00:27:16] a little dance every now and again.

[00:27:19] Oh,

[00:27:19] so you have a stage,

[00:27:20] you have a stage in modest Bag End.

[00:27:23] Uh,

[00:27:24] no,

[00:27:24] no,

[00:27:24] no.

[00:27:24] There'll be a theater on Island.

[00:27:26] Oh,

[00:27:27] okay.

[00:27:27] So that's where you do your,

[00:27:28] if someone needs to see you.

[00:27:30] Yeah.

[00:27:31] There'll be a major theater for international touring acts.

[00:27:34] Absolutely.

[00:27:35] Yeah.

[00:27:35] But this theater that I'm talking about is more of like a,

[00:27:37] let's face it.

[00:27:38] It's a bit of a vanity theater for clown central,

[00:27:41] you know,

[00:27:42] like,

[00:27:42] uh,

[00:27:43] like the alderman in my neighborhood has their own office.

[00:27:46] Right.

[00:27:47] And I'm,

[00:27:48] I'm essentially,

[00:27:49] you know,

[00:27:50] something along those lines.

[00:27:51] So clown central has his own office and clown central's office is a bit of a

[00:27:54] vanity theater.

[00:27:55] What are you going to do?

[00:27:56] You need a bit of vanity.

[00:27:57] Like if you're going to take over a country,

[00:27:59] you need something to go.

[00:28:00] That's my thing.

[00:28:01] You have to indulge in a little bit.

[00:28:04] Otherwise you'll go crazy.

[00:28:06] Exactly.

[00:28:07] Um,

[00:28:07] okay.

[00:28:08] Okay.

[00:28:08] That's cool.

[00:28:08] You know,

[00:28:09] how you see a lot of lists that will say like this country is,

[00:28:13] um,

[00:28:13] the top of the list for best education in the world.

[00:28:16] It's usually Scandinavia,

[00:28:17] like the happiest country in the world.

[00:28:18] Stuff like that.

[00:28:19] What unusual list would the country of Ireland be top of?

[00:28:23] Ooh.

[00:28:24] Now this is going to probably surprise you.

[00:28:28] Um,

[00:28:29] but they will be,

[00:28:32] or,

[00:28:32] or at least in my,

[00:28:33] in my,

[00:28:34] uh,

[00:28:35] estimation,

[00:28:36] there'll be per capita,

[00:28:38] the most,

[00:28:39] uh,

[00:28:42] acronym,

[00:28:42] acronym obsessed people on this planet.

[00:28:47] So,

[00:28:48] so like every,

[00:28:50] every small group of like three to four people will average 15 to 20 more acronyms than a regular selection of the,

[00:28:59] the human race from elsewhere.

[00:29:01] So these are just acronym having people left and right though.

[00:29:05] They'll alter language in such a way that,

[00:29:07] that like words,

[00:29:09] like word.

[00:29:11] Yeah.

[00:29:11] They'll say the word word,

[00:29:12] but they'll actually be talking about W O R D.

[00:29:15] Everything will be an acronym.

[00:29:16] Women on roller.

[00:29:19] That's they were,

[00:29:19] there are already 15 acronyms past that.

[00:29:22] Yeah.

[00:29:22] Yeah.

[00:29:22] Yeah.

[00:29:23] You,

[00:29:23] you,

[00:29:24] you don't even have the speed with which to catch up to them.

[00:29:27] Acronyming.

[00:29:28] And are you struggling to keep up with them or you've got to tell?

[00:29:31] How could I,

[00:29:32] I'm clown central.

[00:29:33] I don't even know how to,

[00:29:34] how to make my,

[00:29:35] my two names rhyme together.

[00:29:37] You know what I'm saying?

[00:29:38] But these people are acronyming left and right.

[00:29:40] So you put yourself on an Island where you can't understand anyone.

[00:29:44] I think it's probably for the best.

[00:29:50] You're much happier that way.

[00:29:52] If you're just nodding.

[00:29:53] I think it's for the best.

[00:29:55] If everybody else is much faster and smarter than me,

[00:29:59] it is having a grand time while clown central is in his own little theater.

[00:30:05] So if,

[00:30:06] okay.

[00:30:06] So if the head of your army or whatever,

[00:30:08] or security runs in and you and your wife are sitting down,

[00:30:11] I presume your wife's on the Island.

[00:30:13] She's,

[00:30:13] she's happy.

[00:30:13] Oh,

[00:30:13] absolutely.

[00:30:14] Yeah.

[00:30:15] So your head of security runs in and says,

[00:30:17] terrible news.

[00:30:19] Uh,

[00:30:20] clown central.

[00:30:20] You're in grave danger.

[00:30:22] Are you sitting there?

[00:30:23] Relax.

[00:30:23] Go on.

[00:30:24] I have no idea what he's saying.

[00:30:25] These acronyms are really,

[00:30:26] and he's like,

[00:30:27] no,

[00:30:27] no,

[00:30:27] get out.

[00:30:28] No idea.

[00:30:30] I think,

[00:30:31] I think in this case,

[00:30:32] actually,

[00:30:33] I will have developed a,

[00:30:36] a,

[00:30:36] a,

[00:30:36] an ability to read body language that will,

[00:30:39] that is unparalleled.

[00:30:40] That is just the moment he like steps in,

[00:30:43] I will have a full understanding of what it is.

[00:30:45] He would like to say to me.

[00:30:46] Beautiful.

[00:30:47] Yeah.

[00:30:47] Because that's the only way I've learned how to communicate with my people.

[00:30:51] That's that's,

[00:30:51] that's adaptability.

[00:30:53] That is what that is.

[00:30:54] Absolutely.

[00:30:54] If I can't learn one thing,

[00:30:56] then I'll learn another thing.

[00:30:57] The other thing is that kind of answers what I was going to ask later is that

[00:31:01] your major news network on the,

[00:31:03] um,

[00:31:03] on the Island,

[00:31:04] they would come to you with a proposal to make a documentary.

[00:31:08] Let's face it.

[00:31:09] It's propaganda,

[00:31:09] something to make you really look good.

[00:31:11] Like Kim Jong-il putting 18.

[00:31:13] So they could say we could do documentary about how you're a master at body

[00:31:17] language,

[00:31:17] like proper master.

[00:31:19] Totally.

[00:31:20] No,

[00:31:20] there's no,

[00:31:21] there's no need for propaganda on Island.

[00:31:23] Everybody already knows.

[00:31:24] That one,

[00:31:25] I don't know what they're saying to the council.

[00:31:30] Doesn't have any power to do anything.

[00:31:32] They're,

[00:31:33] they're frankly in an oven.

[00:31:35] Yeah.

[00:31:35] Three,

[00:31:36] everybody's talking so fast with all these acronyms that maybe they don't

[00:31:40] even understand each other.

[00:31:42] Half the time.

[00:31:42] Everybody's pretty stoked to be on Island.

[00:31:45] So the documentary is going to take a lot longer than you might expect.

[00:31:49] We,

[00:31:50] yeah,

[00:31:50] you are,

[00:31:50] it's almost like a superpower.

[00:31:52] You can just tell what everyone is saying rather.

[00:31:53] We'll call it,

[00:31:54] we'll call it crown central knows your body and it'll be perfect.

[00:31:58] It'll be perfect.

[00:32:00] It'll be like constant situations where there's disagreements about things

[00:32:04] because people don't fully understand each other.

[00:32:07] Yeah.

[00:32:07] Central comes in and is like,

[00:32:08] and that's that.

[00:32:10] It's all,

[00:32:10] it solves the problem.

[00:32:11] I give a little,

[00:32:11] I give a little wiggle.

[00:32:13] Maybe give a shimmy.

[00:32:13] Yeah.

[00:32:14] Yeah.

[00:32:14] I'll give a little shimmy.

[00:32:15] Yeah.

[00:32:15] I think a shimmy will do it.

[00:32:17] That's that.

[00:32:18] Yeah.

[00:32:18] That's what you're known.

[00:32:21] Central known for his shimmies.

[00:32:22] For his shimmies.

[00:32:23] Okay.

[00:32:25] I,

[00:32:25] I do.

[00:32:26] There's an unfortunate question to ask.

[00:32:27] It's,

[00:32:28] it's,

[00:32:28] it's tough.

[00:32:29] There's a scandal about to break out involving you.

[00:32:31] By the way,

[00:32:32] your approval rating is a very healthy 92%.

[00:32:34] People love it.

[00:32:35] Okay.

[00:32:35] Right.

[00:32:36] That's pretty good.

[00:32:36] Um,

[00:32:37] this scandal is going to drop that down to 81.

[00:32:41] A bit of a drop,

[00:32:42] right?

[00:32:43] Not really happy about it.

[00:32:44] People aren't looking to kill you or get rid of you,

[00:32:46] but they're just a bit disappointed.

[00:32:48] Right.

[00:32:48] Um,

[00:32:49] great thing is you can pick what scandal they would find out about.

[00:32:52] Not sure how that works,

[00:32:53] but what scandal do you think people would,

[00:32:55] would find out about the con central?

[00:32:57] Well,

[00:32:57] I suppose clown central,

[00:33:00] if there's going to be a scandal,

[00:33:01] that's going to stick to clown central,

[00:33:03] because I mean,

[00:33:03] it's obviously not going to be like,

[00:33:05] Oh,

[00:33:05] get hit with the face with pie,

[00:33:08] you know,

[00:33:08] like,

[00:33:09] yeah,

[00:33:09] that's what's going to happen to clown central.

[00:33:11] Yeah.

[00:33:11] Oh,

[00:33:11] he's,

[00:33:12] he's got a champagne,

[00:33:13] uh,

[00:33:14] stain on his pants that look like it's urine.

[00:33:17] Oh yeah.

[00:33:19] no deal.

[00:33:20] Right.

[00:33:20] So it would have to be something that would surprise people.

[00:33:24] Um,

[00:33:25] and that's,

[00:33:26] I suppose,

[00:33:28] I suppose the scandal would have to be like good food.

[00:33:31] You know,

[00:33:32] you see clown central just really enjoying,

[00:33:36] like this,

[00:33:37] this,

[00:33:37] uh,

[00:33:38] caviar,

[00:33:38] uh,

[00:33:39] five-star meal,

[00:33:40] like straight,

[00:33:41] like,

[00:33:41] like Gordon Ramsey level,

[00:33:43] Oh,

[00:33:44] chefed out meal.

[00:33:45] Yeah.

[00:33:45] Where there's basting going on.

[00:33:48] Yeah.

[00:33:48] There's a steak.

[00:33:49] There's,

[00:33:50] there's yelling.

[00:33:51] There's,

[00:33:51] there should never be yelling involved with food.

[00:33:53] No,

[00:33:54] no,

[00:33:54] no,

[00:33:54] no,

[00:33:54] That's,

[00:33:54] that's what you believe when you look at clown central,

[00:33:57] clown central is not like worried about how his chives are diced.

[00:34:02] Right.

[00:34:03] But they,

[00:34:04] they see,

[00:34:05] they see clown central.

[00:34:06] They see that he's hired a private chef.

[00:34:09] He's,

[00:34:09] he's sitting there really kind of enjoying a meal.

[00:34:13] Yeah.

[00:34:13] In a,

[00:34:14] in a way that even people at Bon,

[00:34:16] Benny Hanna would be,

[00:34:17] would be like,

[00:34:17] this is too much.

[00:34:19] So you're just too much.

[00:34:20] So you're a tyrant when it comes to food.

[00:34:22] Like you,

[00:34:23] you have all the knives and cutlery correctly placed out.

[00:34:25] And if they get it wrong,

[00:34:26] you're Jesus.

[00:34:28] Okay.

[00:34:28] Every,

[00:34:29] every aspect of the,

[00:34:30] like they,

[00:34:31] they'll be disappointed that clown central takes food seriously.

[00:34:36] Now,

[00:34:36] do you eat pizza with a knife and fork or do you yell at that?

[00:34:39] Absolutely not.

[00:34:40] But it's very judgy about how other people eat pizza.

[00:34:43] Yes,

[00:34:44] absolutely.

[00:34:45] That's that.

[00:34:45] Yeah.

[00:34:46] Yeah.

[00:34:46] Yeah.

[00:34:46] Yeah.

[00:34:46] That's very bad.

[00:34:47] Yeah.

[00:34:48] I get that.

[00:34:48] But.

[00:34:49] Yeah.

[00:34:51] So your advisors or someone in the,

[00:34:55] in the modest bag end says,

[00:34:57] look,

[00:34:57] we need to get ahead of this.

[00:34:58] We figure might do kind of like a Frost Nixon thing.

[00:35:01] Might sit you down with the top news journalist presenter in the country to

[00:35:05] explain it.

[00:35:06] Right.

[00:35:06] Yeah.

[00:35:07] Would you be okay with that?

[00:35:08] Should you go on?

[00:35:09] Yeah.

[00:35:10] Oh,

[00:35:11] absolutely.

[00:35:12] If I was the guy now acting as the presenter called Anderson and Anderson

[00:35:18] is saying,

[00:35:18] welcome back to the show.

[00:35:19] We're very happy to have on cloud and central onto this.

[00:35:22] Um,

[00:35:22] consensual.

[00:35:23] Thank you very much for joining us.

[00:35:24] Happy to be here.

[00:35:25] Thank you.

[00:35:26] We do have to talk about the recent news that's taken a battering to your

[00:35:29] approval rating.

[00:35:30] Booty gate.

[00:35:31] Now,

[00:35:32] I guess what people are saying is,

[00:35:34] you know,

[00:35:35] why?

[00:35:35] What's wrong with you?

[00:35:36] Is the exact message.

[00:35:39] Okay.

[00:35:40] I want more than anything to be of a pure nature.

[00:35:45] I want more than anything to be empty of,

[00:35:49] of the like need for us tent,

[00:35:53] but I'm,

[00:35:54] I'm as flawed as the rest of you.

[00:35:56] I'm as flawed as the rest of you.

[00:35:57] You,

[00:35:58] a guy over there on Island.

[00:36:00] Uh,

[00:36:01] uh,

[00:36:01] you probably have a thing.

[00:36:03] The cameraman.

[00:36:04] Yeah.

[00:36:05] You've got a thing.

[00:36:06] You watch people through a camera.

[00:36:08] That's kind of creepy sometimes.

[00:36:09] He does.

[00:36:09] He does that.

[00:36:10] We don't pay that man.

[00:36:11] Yeah.

[00:36:11] Yeah.

[00:36:12] Yeah.

[00:36:12] That's,

[00:36:12] that's not cool.

[00:36:14] That's not cool,

[00:36:14] but you do it.

[00:36:15] I'm not going to judge.

[00:36:16] I am a little bit into food.

[00:36:19] I'm a little bit into food.

[00:36:21] Maybe I should be better about it.

[00:36:23] Maybe I should be more giving,

[00:36:24] but you're not going to.

[00:36:26] Nah,

[00:36:26] probably not.

[00:36:27] I'm just going to keep doing it.

[00:36:28] So you're saying that.

[00:36:29] I haven't learned a lesson.

[00:36:30] I haven't learned a lesson.

[00:36:31] So you're saying you haven't learned a lesson.

[00:36:33] Everyone on the Island is flawed work on them,

[00:36:36] but you don't,

[00:36:36] you're not going to.

[00:36:37] I don't want to say cram it up your ass,

[00:36:40] but I want you to get the vibe.

[00:36:43] Mush it on your ass.

[00:36:44] I'm not going to change.

[00:36:47] Okay.

[00:36:48] Unfortunately,

[00:36:49] you're saying that down the barrel of the camera of the peep and Tom.

[00:36:52] I respect,

[00:36:53] I respect why I should,

[00:36:54] I understand the reasons and I'm still not going to.

[00:36:58] So now we're at an impasse.

[00:37:00] Okay.

[00:37:01] And there's nothing we can do about it.

[00:37:02] We had a,

[00:37:02] I'm not going to,

[00:37:03] I'm not going to lie to you,

[00:37:04] but I'm also not going to change because there's nothing your people can do.

[00:37:08] Right.

[00:37:08] Okay.

[00:37:09] So he'll say,

[00:37:10] Hey,

[00:37:10] we'll go back to a clown central knows your body.

[00:37:12] And clown centrals,

[00:37:14] clown central says 81% is fine.

[00:37:17] It can go lower.

[00:37:20] Before I panic,

[00:37:22] it can go a lot lower.

[00:37:23] Clown central says touche.

[00:37:27] I salute you 19%.

[00:37:29] Hey,

[00:37:30] you know what?

[00:37:30] You're not wrong.

[00:37:31] You're not wrong.

[00:37:32] I'm on your team.

[00:37:33] Really?

[00:37:33] So,

[00:37:34] so that scandal does not affect you.

[00:37:36] That is a breeze.

[00:37:37] That is nothing.

[00:37:38] It's really tough to,

[00:37:39] it's really tough to fuck with clown central.

[00:37:41] Okay.

[00:37:44] So,

[00:37:45] Oh,

[00:37:46] is there anything kind of like a seemingly mundane thing that is banned in your country?

[00:37:51] Oh man.

[00:37:53] That is such a good question of whether or not banning,

[00:37:56] because I mean,

[00:37:57] it seems like a very like sort of standard question in the world that we exist in,

[00:38:02] but in,

[00:38:02] in a real kind of sense of if you had infinite power is banning something at all,

[00:38:09] something that makes sense.

[00:38:10] Yeah.

[00:38:11] You know,

[00:38:12] like you could say,

[00:38:14] no,

[00:38:15] I don't think there's any situation where a ban makes sense.

[00:38:18] However,

[00:38:20] yes.

[00:38:20] However,

[00:38:20] here's what will happen.

[00:38:22] Right.

[00:38:22] There will be things that are strongly discouraged through the use of additional choices.

[00:38:31] Oh,

[00:38:31] okay.

[00:38:32] Hey,

[00:38:32] I don't,

[00:38:33] I don't think smoking should be banned by any stretch.

[00:38:36] I think it's great.

[00:38:37] Yeah.

[00:38:37] I wish I still smoked.

[00:38:38] I loved smoking,

[00:38:40] but I can't.

[00:38:40] And I don't,

[00:38:41] and it's bad for you and you're probably going to die.

[00:38:43] Yeah.

[00:38:43] Right.

[00:38:44] So should smoking be banned?

[00:38:46] No,

[00:38:47] that doesn't make sense.

[00:38:47] That makes some people want to smoke even more.

[00:38:50] Okay.

[00:38:51] Yes.

[00:38:52] What it should be is really hard to just kind of like,

[00:38:55] it's just not going to be easy to do.

[00:38:58] So if you're just a little bit lazy,

[00:39:01] if you don't have the real like inspiration necessary to go smoke.

[00:39:06] Yes.

[00:39:07] You're just not going to.

[00:39:08] Okay.

[00:39:08] So you're,

[00:39:09] I presume that's a smoking ban anyway,

[00:39:10] as in a smoke,

[00:39:11] sorry,

[00:39:12] a smoking ban as in,

[00:39:13] you can't smoke inside in a pub,

[00:39:14] right?

[00:39:15] Is the kind of obvious one.

[00:39:16] I think that's reasonable.

[00:39:17] I think most people think,

[00:39:18] Oh,

[00:39:18] you know what?

[00:39:19] Maybe we don't smoke inside,

[00:39:20] but outside,

[00:39:21] out in the street.

[00:39:23] Yeah.

[00:39:24] What are you going to do?

[00:39:25] Oh,

[00:39:26] so you just have a,

[00:39:26] yeah.

[00:39:27] Maybe instead of that,

[00:39:29] there's like a,

[00:39:29] there's a room specifically for smoking where smokers go.

[00:39:33] Yeah.

[00:39:34] Like a cigar shop.

[00:39:35] Yeah.

[00:39:36] Yeah.

[00:39:36] There you go.

[00:39:37] Oh,

[00:39:37] so like an old gentleman's club.

[00:39:38] There's no bands,

[00:39:40] but there is only cigar shops.

[00:39:42] And they all have to be themed in some manner or another.

[00:39:47] Like there,

[00:39:47] there can't be like an old gentleman's club kind of one,

[00:39:50] but there can be,

[00:39:51] as long as there's also a,

[00:39:53] like fifties diner themed one.

[00:39:55] These seem fun.

[00:39:56] I thought you were trying to like make it annoying.

[00:39:59] Well,

[00:39:59] yeah,

[00:39:59] but I can't have,

[00:40:00] I can't have them,

[00:40:02] you know,

[00:40:02] I can't have a band.

[00:40:04] Oh yeah.

[00:40:05] But you're like,

[00:40:06] Oh,

[00:40:06] so if you want to go smoke,

[00:40:08] you have to travel.

[00:40:10] The bus only goes once a day.

[00:40:12] It's going to be tough to get there.

[00:40:13] It'll be tough to get there.

[00:40:14] Perfect.

[00:40:14] Okay.

[00:40:15] There's so many great themes.

[00:40:17] It's an adventure.

[00:40:18] I'm still appealing,

[00:40:19] but yeah.

[00:40:20] Yeah.

[00:40:20] Okay.

[00:40:20] Yeah.

[00:40:20] No,

[00:40:21] it's going to be great.

[00:40:22] You know,

[00:40:22] everybody likes going to Disneyland once a year or whatever.

[00:40:27] Okay.

[00:40:27] So you're creating a Disneyland for smokers.

[00:40:30] Yes.

[00:40:31] Okay.

[00:40:31] That's fine.

[00:40:32] It's going to be great.

[00:40:33] I'll take that out of context.

[00:40:34] That's fine.

[00:40:35] I agree.

[00:40:36] It asked about the fantastical fact,

[00:40:37] which is the fact that you can read body language.

[00:40:40] Do you know the,

[00:40:41] just an update on the approval rate and it did go down to 79%.

[00:40:44] You're still okay with that?

[00:40:45] That'll happen.

[00:40:46] Yeah.

[00:40:46] Yeah.

[00:40:46] It's bound to,

[00:40:47] you're bound to lose 2%.

[00:40:48] Your advisor said,

[00:40:49] look,

[00:40:49] what we might just do is we have some citizens.

[00:40:52] Are you calling them Islanders or peasants or what are we referring to

[00:40:56] them as?

[00:40:57] People of the Island.

[00:40:58] People of the Island.

[00:40:59] Okay.

[00:41:00] People of the Island.

[00:41:00] Yeah.

[00:41:01] Yeah.

[00:41:02] These people of the Island have,

[00:41:05] we've reached out to them to say,

[00:41:07] do you have any concerns?

[00:41:07] Look,

[00:41:08] you know,

[00:41:08] we'll,

[00:41:09] we'll,

[00:41:09] we'll throw them at clown central.

[00:41:11] Might throw these rapid fire at you.

[00:41:12] If you want to bust through these while you're on stage.

[00:41:16] There is a few questions here from concerned people of the Island.

[00:41:20] One is,

[00:41:21] is passive vice punishable by debt or dismemberment?

[00:41:24] They're asking about their wife.

[00:41:26] They don't know what to do with her.

[00:41:27] Passive.

[00:41:27] Do you mean the,

[00:41:28] the use of it?

[00:41:29] I guess.

[00:41:30] The literary,

[00:41:31] uh,

[00:41:32] angle wherein everything's is like,

[00:41:35] well,

[00:41:35] it could be if it's,

[00:41:37] I mean,

[00:41:37] if it's okay,

[00:41:38] maybe there might be.

[00:41:41] Yeah.

[00:41:42] We could do a Joe Rogan on us and take off the legs and arms.

[00:41:45] I don't like punishing passive voice,

[00:41:48] but many people would say that when using something to then be forcibly removed from whatever scenario you are in.

[00:42:01] Yes.

[00:42:01] And put into a small room wherein you have to learn the importance of active voice.

[00:42:06] I think many people would consider that a punishment.

[00:42:08] I don't.

[00:42:09] I think that's just a good education.

[00:42:13] Yeah.

[00:42:14] That's just a grand old time for everybody.

[00:42:16] That's,

[00:42:16] that's practically a trip to the Disneyland of smoking.

[00:42:19] Yes.

[00:42:20] You know what I'm saying?

[00:42:20] The Disneyland voices are active voices.

[00:42:22] Yeah,

[00:42:23] exactly.

[00:42:23] So it's,

[00:42:24] so it's just an instant grab,

[00:42:27] remove,

[00:42:28] learn.

[00:42:29] So no debt or dismemberment.

[00:42:31] It's kidnap,

[00:42:33] remove.

[00:42:33] Why would you need to?

[00:42:34] Okay.

[00:42:34] Okay.

[00:42:35] Okay,

[00:42:35] cool.

[00:42:36] Um,

[00:42:36] is there who,

[00:42:38] Oh,

[00:42:38] do you have a secretary of retribution?

[00:42:40] This is a secretary of retribution.

[00:42:44] And who would that be?

[00:42:44] Yes,

[00:42:45] they are.

[00:42:46] Now here's the problem.

[00:42:48] There's probably going to be somebody who really thinks that it's important to have a secretary of retribution.

[00:42:53] And generally the person who thinks it's really important to have one is the person who wants to be one.

[00:42:59] Who?

[00:42:59] Yes.

[00:43:00] Okay.

[00:43:00] So this person who asked.

[00:43:02] There's usually only one person who's like,

[00:43:05] Hey,

[00:43:05] are you going to have a secretary of retribution?

[00:43:06] Do you know what we need?

[00:43:07] Do you know what we need?

[00:43:08] What we need?

[00:43:09] Uh,

[00:43:10] a me to do the things that I want to do to people.

[00:43:12] I was just smoking in Disneyland and I had a great idea.

[00:43:15] Right.

[00:43:16] Right.

[00:43:17] So,

[00:43:17] so will there be a,

[00:43:19] there will be a,

[00:43:21] uh,

[00:43:22] let me,

[00:43:22] how about we do it this way?

[00:43:23] All right.

[00:43:24] There'll be a open call,

[00:43:26] like open casting call who really wants to be a secretary of retribution.

[00:43:30] Right.

[00:43:32] Yes.

[00:43:32] Everybody who shows up.

[00:43:33] Yeah.

[00:43:34] Invited become secretary of retribution.

[00:43:38] Sits in the room with the council.

[00:43:40] Oh,

[00:43:40] but it's a lot happier.

[00:43:42] They all think they're doing something.

[00:43:43] It's all very important people.

[00:43:46] Yeah.

[00:43:46] Very important people.

[00:43:47] Slowly baking the dish in the oven of the room.

[00:43:50] Yeah.

[00:43:51] Okay.

[00:43:51] And that's what,

[00:43:52] that's retribution.

[00:43:53] Oh,

[00:43:54] it is in a way.

[00:43:54] Yeah.

[00:43:55] Um,

[00:43:56] Oh,

[00:43:56] who,

[00:43:57] who,

[00:43:57] someone asked who is recording the national anthem?

[00:44:00] Who is recording the national anthem?

[00:44:02] Oh man.

[00:44:06] This actually might be my real scandal.

[00:44:08] Oh,

[00:44:09] this might be the true scandal.

[00:44:10] Is I wonder if I wouldn't be willing to resurrect Whitney Houston to record the national anthem.

[00:44:18] So you have the ability to resurrect.

[00:44:20] In defiance of God's will.

[00:44:22] Yeah.

[00:44:23] I mean,

[00:44:24] to,

[00:44:24] to truly spit in the face of the creator,

[00:44:29] resurrect what he has taken from us sooner than should have been taken.

[00:44:33] Yeah.

[00:44:33] And then,

[00:44:34] and then essentially exploit her to create my national anthem.

[00:44:38] And then back into the ground with her or.

[00:44:40] That's evil.

[00:44:41] Well,

[00:44:41] I mean,

[00:44:41] obviously she can't.

[00:44:42] Yeah.

[00:44:43] She can't have her.

[00:44:44] Yeah.

[00:44:44] She's too powerful.

[00:44:45] It's like a pet cemetery sort of situation,

[00:44:47] right?

[00:44:47] Exactly.

[00:44:48] Yeah.

[00:44:48] Yeah.

[00:44:48] Yeah.

[00:44:48] Yeah.

[00:44:49] For sure.

[00:44:50] Yeah.

[00:44:50] Conquer everybody.

[00:44:51] It's a mess.

[00:44:52] Yeah.

[00:44:52] You gotta,

[00:44:52] you gotta close that loop real fast.

[00:44:55] Right.

[00:44:55] Uh,

[00:44:56] so,

[00:44:57] so yeah,

[00:44:58] so that would be my,

[00:44:59] that would be my sin.

[00:45:00] The corpse.

[00:45:01] I would have to.

[00:45:02] The living corpse of Whitney Houston.

[00:45:05] Necromancy would probably be what tears down my administration.

[00:45:09] Or at least it would be in my,

[00:45:10] in my view.

[00:45:11] People were fine with it.

[00:45:13] I imagine people would probably be pretty fine with it because the song would be banging.

[00:45:17] Yeah.

[00:45:17] It would be so good.

[00:45:19] And they said,

[00:45:19] you know,

[00:45:20] you know,

[00:45:20] our leader practices necromancy and they go,

[00:45:23] that's clown central.

[00:45:24] It sounds like clown central.

[00:45:25] Yeah.

[00:45:27] Um,

[00:45:29] what position does the mysterious professor have in your life?

[00:45:31] Our government.

[00:45:33] Um,

[00:45:35] secretary of D retribution.

[00:45:37] D retribution.

[00:45:38] Yeah.

[00:45:39] That's they,

[00:45:40] this is the person who takes over the job of making sure that everybody's fine.

[00:45:45] Oh,

[00:45:45] that's quite nice.

[00:45:46] But nobody's in need of like,

[00:45:48] uh,

[00:45:49] uh,

[00:45:49] settling the score.

[00:45:50] Let's not do that.

[00:45:51] Let's just have somebody who's in charge of going around being like,

[00:45:54] before we get to score settling times.

[00:45:57] Yeah.

[00:45:58] Let's D retribute.

[00:45:59] Let's D retribute.

[00:46:00] Yes.

[00:46:01] I like it.

[00:46:01] Yeah.

[00:46:02] Now is that part,

[00:46:03] when you say he's going around,

[00:46:04] is he just going around that room that we're locked him in?

[00:46:07] No,

[00:46:07] no,

[00:46:07] no,

[00:46:08] no.

[00:46:08] This is actually a person who's outside.

[00:46:10] Who's just going,

[00:46:11] he's kind of like a,

[00:46:12] he's kind of like a,

[00:46:13] uh,

[00:46:14] uh,

[00:46:14] you know,

[00:46:15] like a Mormon missionary kind of knock on your door kind of thing.

[00:46:19] Oh,

[00:46:19] that's nice.

[00:46:20] In more of a problem solving way.

[00:46:22] So just like,

[00:46:23] Hey,

[00:46:23] step checking in.

[00:46:25] What are you,

[00:46:25] any issues?

[00:46:26] Yeah.

[00:46:26] Anything you need taken care of?

[00:46:28] Cool.

[00:46:28] I gotcha.

[00:46:28] And then we're off.

[00:46:30] Oh,

[00:46:30] what a popular position.

[00:46:31] Yeah.

[00:46:32] Yeah.

[00:46:32] Cause that's going to be great.

[00:46:33] Cause it's like,

[00:46:34] do you know,

[00:46:34] when you have a person who rings up a,

[00:46:37] um,

[00:46:39] TV or internet company and you know,

[00:46:41] they're,

[00:46:41] they're really mean to the customer care person.

[00:46:43] But then when the engineer comes out,

[00:46:44] Oh,

[00:46:45] they'd give them tea.

[00:46:46] And that's brilliant.

[00:46:47] Yeah.

[00:46:47] The happy track guy.

[00:46:48] Um,

[00:46:48] it's gotta be,

[00:46:49] it's gotta be a personal touch.

[00:46:50] I was going to say,

[00:46:52] you know,

[00:46:52] they'll be getting paid as well,

[00:46:53] but I have to figure out someone asked,

[00:46:55] um,

[00:46:55] what,

[00:46:56] what are we using for currency?

[00:46:57] What are we using for currency?

[00:46:59] Ah,

[00:47:00] I mean,

[00:47:02] ultimately on islands,

[00:47:04] currency is going to only be able to,

[00:47:07] or is only going to be used for like international trade.

[00:47:10] Yeah.

[00:47:11] Yeah.

[00:47:11] Yeah.

[00:47:12] Island,

[00:47:12] Island doesn't require no monetary exchange.

[00:47:16] Yeah.

[00:47:16] Uh,

[00:47:17] that's part of the secretary of D retribution's job is to like,

[00:47:20] make sure people are taken care of.

[00:47:22] You don't want people having to spend money or anything like that.

[00:47:25] Um,

[00:47:27] so suppose the only thing that we would be able to export to trade for

[00:47:33] currency.

[00:47:35] I mean,

[00:47:36] again,

[00:47:37] acronyms,

[00:47:38] we're going to have to export acronyms to the major corporations.

[00:47:42] Uh,

[00:47:43] the fortune 500,

[00:47:44] all of them use like,

[00:47:47] uh,

[00:47:47] there's,

[00:47:47] there's one for a new,

[00:47:49] like,

[00:47:49] uh,

[00:47:49] AI system called Odin.

[00:47:51] Right.

[00:47:51] And that's an acronym.

[00:47:52] O D I N.

[00:47:54] Yeah.

[00:47:54] Right.

[00:47:55] Now they're all outsourcing their acronym production to Island.

[00:48:00] But are you worried about AI though?

[00:48:02] Taking that?

[00:48:03] Are you not?

[00:48:03] Do you have some companies going,

[00:48:04] it'd be cheaper if we use acronyms there.

[00:48:07] They've only got two letters for their acronym.

[00:48:09] Bullshit.

[00:48:10] But are you 50,

[00:48:11] 30,

[00:48:12] we've got thousands of letters per acronym.

[00:48:14] You can't stop us.

[00:48:17] Island is unbeatable when it comes to acronyms.

[00:48:19] But are you worried about like,

[00:48:21] you know,

[00:48:21] the,

[00:48:21] the,

[00:48:22] the rich of like wall street going,

[00:48:24] it's fine.

[00:48:25] AI is fine.

[00:48:26] It'll catch up because they're not worried about the quality.

[00:48:28] It's just a,

[00:48:29] the numbers game to them.

[00:48:30] Right.

[00:48:30] That's,

[00:48:31] that's the secret of the acronym is that the worse the acronym,

[00:48:35] the more inevitable,

[00:48:36] the failure.

[00:48:37] Oh,

[00:48:38] yeah.

[00:48:38] Okay.

[00:48:38] It becomes eventually it becomes like a,

[00:48:40] a signal of,

[00:48:42] you know,

[00:48:43] like,

[00:48:43] well,

[00:48:43] like when you wear a Dior.

[00:48:46] Yes.

[00:48:46] You know,

[00:48:47] it's like a signal that corporations shared with each other.

[00:48:49] Oh,

[00:48:50] we've got an Island acronym.

[00:48:51] Oh God,

[00:48:52] that's a stamp of approval.

[00:48:54] You can have your face on a stamp saying,

[00:48:55] come central.

[00:48:57] Yeah.

[00:48:57] So our currency is kind of more prestige than it is.

[00:49:00] Nice.

[00:49:01] A physical exchange.

[00:49:03] Yeah.

[00:49:04] Like,

[00:49:04] like Ireland.

[00:49:05] Okay.

[00:49:06] Yeah.

[00:49:07] Yeah.

[00:49:08] Our,

[00:49:08] our,

[00:49:08] your home is more beautiful than yours.

[00:49:10] Cram it.

[00:49:13] Um,

[00:49:14] someone just asked,

[00:49:15] and I,

[00:49:16] I presume they just heard a rumor.

[00:49:17] So they said,

[00:49:17] are you enforcing this?

[00:49:19] Every president or every ruler dies at the end of their term rule.

[00:49:22] And if so,

[00:49:23] how are you going to like ensure it'll be followed after you,

[00:49:26] you're finished your term.

[00:49:27] Oh,

[00:49:28] okay.

[00:49:29] All right.

[00:49:30] So that's a,

[00:49:31] that's a rule that exists,

[00:49:32] uh,

[00:49:33] uh,

[00:49:34] for,

[00:49:34] for Jordan personally in the real world.

[00:49:37] Yes.

[00:49:37] Yeah.

[00:49:38] Yeah.

[00:49:38] Based upon the way,

[00:49:39] uh,

[00:49:40] other,

[00:49:41] and other nations like interact with each other.

[00:49:44] Yeah.

[00:49:44] There aren't consequences for,

[00:49:45] uh,

[00:49:46] being a monster.

[00:49:48] Yeah.

[00:49:49] Like you just get to go home the next day as though that's okay.

[00:49:53] Um,

[00:49:53] so I suppose,

[00:49:54] yes,

[00:49:55] I would have to be held responsible for necromancy.

[00:49:59] Uh,

[00:50:00] right.

[00:50:01] It depends on the law of Island.

[00:50:05] If Island chooses my punishment is death or dismemberment for as such at the end of my term,

[00:50:14] I have to accept that clown central is,

[00:50:17] uh,

[00:50:17] is,

[00:50:18] is,

[00:50:18] you know,

[00:50:19] and nothing,

[00:50:19] if not a man of the people.

[00:50:21] Okay.

[00:50:22] Okay.

[00:50:22] We'll,

[00:50:22] we'll get to the end of your term in a minute.

[00:50:24] We'd see what happens.

[00:50:25] I just have two,

[00:50:26] two,

[00:50:26] three actually more here on these,

[00:50:27] the people's questions.

[00:50:29] Uh,

[00:50:29] someone just asked,

[00:50:30] can they be a general?

[00:50:31] Is that all right?

[00:50:31] If someone just asks you,

[00:50:32] Hey,

[00:50:33] they seem nice.

[00:50:33] And they say,

[00:50:34] Hey,

[00:50:34] can I be a general in your army or in your Navy?

[00:50:36] Absolutely.

[00:50:37] Yeah.

[00:50:38] Generals are very important.

[00:50:39] Everybody likes a general.

[00:50:40] Oh,

[00:50:41] good.

[00:50:41] Yeah.

[00:50:41] Happy for that person.

[00:50:42] It's great to be a general and I support people being generals.

[00:50:46] The problem is when people do what generals tell them to do.

[00:50:50] That's the disconnect.

[00:50:52] Yes.

[00:50:52] You call yourself a general.

[00:50:54] I'm delighted by that.

[00:50:56] Just don't expect people to do what you,

[00:50:58] what you tell them to do.

[00:50:59] Oh,

[00:51:00] okay.

[00:51:00] Or else it's into the room.

[00:51:01] Yeah.

[00:51:02] I mean,

[00:51:02] if you want people to do what you tell them to do,

[00:51:05] there's a space to do.

[00:51:06] There's a space in.

[00:51:07] Yeah.

[00:51:07] That's the room.

[00:51:08] That's the room.

[00:51:08] The room is getting big.

[00:51:09] Um,

[00:51:10] okay.

[00:51:10] Let's see.

[00:51:11] So,

[00:51:11] uh,

[00:51:11] somebody wants to listen to blink one 82.

[00:51:13] Is that okay?

[00:51:15] That's dark.

[00:51:16] That's a dark question.

[00:51:19] Now I'm not going to ban blink one 82.

[00:51:22] Yeah.

[00:51:22] I'm not going to Disneyland of one 82 coming up.

[00:51:24] I'm not going to,

[00:51:25] I'm not going to ban pop punk.

[00:51:27] I'm not going to ban what you listen to in the privacy of your own home.

[00:51:31] Right.

[00:51:32] But I will say that in public spaces,

[00:51:36] there will be a sound wave monitors that will have a specific frequency tuning to ensure that any kind of like,

[00:51:46] uh,

[00:51:47] blink one 82 does not make it into the public square.

[00:51:50] No humming or anything.

[00:51:52] No,

[00:51:52] no,

[00:51:52] no,

[00:51:52] no,

[00:51:52] no.

[00:51:53] If the music escapes your personal space,

[00:51:56] yeah,

[00:51:56] is then inflicted upon others.

[00:51:58] I eat me.

[00:51:59] Yes.

[00:52:00] You're going to have,

[00:52:00] you're going to be pushed back into your home immediately sent back home.

[00:52:04] So if I'm,

[00:52:05] if I'm on a night out,

[00:52:06] I've had a few drinks and I've thought,

[00:52:09] can't afford a taxi or my phone is dead.

[00:52:11] I can't ring.

[00:52:11] And I start going all the small things.

[00:52:15] Car shows up.

[00:52:17] Blammo.

[00:52:17] Black suits.

[00:52:19] Back to your home.

[00:52:20] Into the back of the car.

[00:52:21] Give you a ride home automatically.

[00:52:23] So that just means you're going to have a lot of people coming out of those Irish pubs or,

[00:52:26] wait a minute.

[00:52:27] Sorry.

[00:52:28] Just have I ended all possible drunk driving?

[00:52:31] I think I may have,

[00:52:32] but there may be another flaw.

[00:52:34] Okay.

[00:52:35] You're not a big lover of smoking.

[00:52:37] As you said,

[00:52:38] it's bad.

[00:52:38] It's bad for your health,

[00:52:39] everything else.

[00:52:39] And you said,

[00:52:40] you're going to have Disneyland for smoking very far out of town.

[00:52:43] Very awkward to get to.

[00:52:44] There's only one bus a day.

[00:52:46] So if people go out there and smoke a hundred cigarettes and then go,

[00:52:49] it's like I need to get a lift home.

[00:52:50] The girl at the rock show.

[00:52:52] Do,

[00:52:52] do,

[00:52:52] do.

[00:52:53] They'll just get a free lift.

[00:52:56] But is that not encouraging them then to just sing Blink 182?

[00:53:00] Do you want to be the person really like exploiting this service?

[00:53:05] Do you think that's what the service is for?

[00:53:07] I think there's a few bad apples.

[00:53:08] How does it make you feel to be the person who sings Blink 182 just to get a ride?

[00:53:13] Well,

[00:53:14] you know what?

[00:53:14] As a general of this nation,

[00:53:16] it feels pretty good.

[00:53:17] Well,

[00:53:18] then I guess that's what you got to do.

[00:53:20] But the people are kind of,

[00:53:22] are going to start thinking Faroe Islands all day soon.

[00:53:25] That plane to Faroe Islands is coming.

[00:53:28] I'm telling you,

[00:53:29] I,

[00:53:30] Clown Central doesn't tell people what to do.

[00:53:32] It's just that people in general,

[00:53:34] after seeing kind of how things work,

[00:53:36] don't like it when people just exploit things for no reason.

[00:53:40] I think,

[00:53:41] I think what people say amongst themselves is say,

[00:53:43] look,

[00:53:44] I know,

[00:53:44] I'm no,

[00:53:45] I'm not expert on body language,

[00:53:47] but the way Clown Central is shimmying towards me,

[00:53:50] he's not happy.

[00:53:51] He's not impressed.

[00:53:53] Clown Central is just trying to let everybody know that Clown Central is a rail.

[00:53:57] Yeah.

[00:54:01] Okay.

[00:54:02] And the other one on this was,

[00:54:04] I had it here.

[00:54:06] How many false flags are you going to run just to satisfy the globalist cabal?

[00:54:12] Ooh,

[00:54:12] I do think false flags would be a national pastime because we can't,

[00:54:18] we can't invent a sport.

[00:54:20] I mean,

[00:54:21] we could invent a sport,

[00:54:22] but it wouldn't be as cool as the sports that currently exist.

[00:54:25] Right.

[00:54:25] Yeah.

[00:54:25] Yeah.

[00:54:26] In general,

[00:54:28] most sports that are awesome already exist because humans have been around for a long enough time to figure out to figure out.

[00:54:35] Yeah.

[00:54:35] Yeah.

[00:54:35] Uh,

[00:54:37] so we could waste our GDP on trying to discover a new perfect sport,

[00:54:43] but I think,

[00:54:44] I think,

[00:54:45] yeah,

[00:54:45] it's just more fun to orchestrate false flags.

[00:54:48] So that is one thing that we would also export is our ability to make it look like you did it to yourself.

[00:54:55] We would absolutely stage suicides for people.

[00:54:59] Yeah.

[00:55:00] If you want to fake your own death,

[00:55:02] call Island.

[00:55:04] Number one thing we do.

[00:55:05] So if I ring and say,

[00:55:07] Hey,

[00:55:07] I just love to fake this suicide.

[00:55:09] I want it to be fun though.

[00:55:11] Oh my God.

[00:55:12] You're thinking of an acronym.

[00:55:13] I.

[00:55:16] You are,

[00:55:17] aren't you?

[00:55:17] See what I'm saying?

[00:55:18] I can't do acronyms.

[00:55:19] I'm just,

[00:55:19] I'm just never going to work on Island.

[00:55:21] But the people of Island have already figured out 10 acronyms for it.

[00:55:24] I thought it was ISLAND.

[00:55:26] I was trying so hard because there were multiple.

[00:55:31] You started off,

[00:55:32] you had an idea in your head where you started when this will work.

[00:55:34] And then quickly you could see your face.

[00:55:36] You just did not know.

[00:55:38] My heart sank.

[00:55:40] Um,

[00:55:41] if I ring and say,

[00:55:43] Oh,

[00:55:43] look,

[00:55:43] I'd love to just,

[00:55:44] just do a,

[00:55:45] like a pretend suicide,

[00:55:46] but I want it to be fun.

[00:55:47] And I don't really know you're the expert.

[00:55:49] Like how are we going to number one thing?

[00:55:51] Sweet.

[00:55:52] Um,

[00:55:52] what,

[00:55:52] any ideas,

[00:55:53] what can you give me?

[00:55:54] What's your cheapest package?

[00:55:55] Um,

[00:55:56] the cheapest package?

[00:55:58] Well,

[00:55:58] no money.

[00:55:59] Of course.

[00:56:00] Unimplied.

[00:56:01] You're unemployed.

[00:56:02] Well,

[00:56:02] okay.

[00:56:02] Well,

[00:56:03] then in that case,

[00:56:03] we will charter a near earth orbit spacecraft.

[00:56:08] Yeah.

[00:56:09] Uh,

[00:56:09] we'll get you months of training.

[00:56:12] Oh,

[00:56:13] okay.

[00:56:13] Make sure that you're,

[00:56:14] you're well capable of handling that.

[00:56:17] All right.

[00:56:17] So you're going to go up into this kind of like near earth orbit spacecraft.

[00:56:22] Uh,

[00:56:22] you're going to be,

[00:56:24] uh,

[00:56:25] handling just some sort of base level experiment.

[00:56:28] Yeah.

[00:56:28] of some kind,

[00:56:29] you know,

[00:56:29] like something with test tubes.

[00:56:31] Yes.

[00:56:31] Uh,

[00:56:31] cause test tubes in space are always great.

[00:56:33] Cause it's,

[00:56:34] it doesn't fall the way that it normally does on earth.

[00:56:37] Yeah.

[00:56:37] It just kind of floats around.

[00:56:38] So you're going to be doing that.

[00:56:39] And then bam,

[00:56:41] hit with gamma radiation.

[00:56:43] All right.

[00:56:44] Fantastic four.

[00:56:45] Yes.

[00:56:45] Horrifying.

[00:56:46] Oh my goodness.

[00:56:47] You're turned into the thing.

[00:56:49] Everybody knows that this is the most tragic thing that can happen to you.

[00:56:52] You don't want to come back to earth as the thing.

[00:56:55] no,

[00:56:55] we're going to be,

[00:56:56] but frankly,

[00:56:57] you're never going to have sex again.

[00:56:58] So you heroically happens already,

[00:57:00] but okay.

[00:57:01] Uh,

[00:57:01] you know,

[00:57:02] you,

[00:57:02] you heroically salvage what you can of the crew and send them off into the,

[00:57:10] the,

[00:57:10] the,

[00:57:10] the,

[00:57:10] the escape pod.

[00:57:11] Yeah.

[00:57:12] Oh yeah.

[00:57:12] Yeah.

[00:57:12] And then the near earth orbit spacecraft explodes in a dizzying,

[00:57:17] spectacle.

[00:57:18] Yes.

[00:57:18] Now,

[00:57:19] while this is going on,

[00:57:21] all of the people that you say,

[00:57:22] if they get off on their little thing,

[00:57:24] you take off the thing suit.

[00:57:26] Right.

[00:57:26] Right.

[00:57:27] Very easily.

[00:57:28] Yeah.

[00:57:29] It's a very,

[00:57:29] frankly,

[00:57:30] it's kind of a cheap suit.

[00:57:32] Uh,

[00:57:32] that's where we cut corners.

[00:57:33] Yeah.

[00:57:34] Yeah.

[00:57:34] Yeah.

[00:57:34] Yeah.

[00:57:34] I don't have the money.

[00:57:35] I'm,

[00:57:35] I'm,

[00:57:35] I'm,

[00:57:36] I'm,

[00:57:36] I'm aware.

[00:57:36] I mean,

[00:57:36] you said you were out of place.

[00:57:38] Yeah.

[00:57:38] You know,

[00:57:38] we don't have suit money for this.

[00:57:40] Yeah.

[00:57:42] So then,

[00:57:43] yeah.

[00:57:43] And then you get into a very small,

[00:57:45] uh,

[00:57:47] a C3PO R2D2 sized escape pod.

[00:57:50] Okay.

[00:57:50] And are sent to,

[00:57:51] uh,

[00:57:52] uh,

[00:57:52] I mean,

[00:57:53] uh,

[00:57:53] obviously wherever you need to go.

[00:57:55] Do I have to move in that thing?

[00:57:57] Cause I'm not sure if I'd be able to handle controls,

[00:57:58] but okay,

[00:57:59] no,

[00:57:59] I'll figure that out.

[00:58:00] Um,

[00:58:01] I'm sure that'd be fine.

[00:58:01] I'm afraid.

[00:58:02] I'm afraid we can only guarantee that you won't be shot at by a star cruiser.

[00:58:06] Okay.

[00:58:07] So once I'm in the C3PO suit,

[00:58:09] it's all on your own.

[00:58:09] It's all on your own.

[00:58:10] That's when they finish the contract.

[00:58:12] Okay.

[00:58:13] Wash our hands.

[00:58:14] Um,

[00:58:15] just the fact that I said I was unemployed.

[00:58:17] I mean,

[00:58:17] honestly,

[00:58:18] if you're training me to be a astronaut,

[00:58:20] can I just have a job as an astronaut at that point?

[00:58:23] Absolutely.

[00:58:23] We don't have that kind of pull.

[00:58:24] I can get back to America and I can,

[00:58:26] I can do that.

[00:58:28] No.

[00:58:28] Oh,

[00:58:28] you're just washing your hands.

[00:58:30] No,

[00:58:30] no,

[00:58:30] no,

[00:58:30] no,

[00:58:31] no.

[00:58:31] Not what we do.

[00:58:32] If you want,

[00:58:33] if you want a different service,

[00:58:34] go somewhere else.

[00:58:36] Yeah.

[00:58:36] No,

[00:58:36] I'm not going to McDonald's and ask for a Whopper.

[00:58:38] Well,

[00:58:39] what kind of,

[00:58:39] what kind of bullshit are we pulling here?

[00:58:41] Do you know what?

[00:58:41] I just realized I'm a business who's asked a creative person to do something.

[00:58:45] And then halfway through the project went,

[00:58:47] no,

[00:58:47] no,

[00:58:47] no,

[00:58:47] but can I not just do this?

[00:58:48] You're like,

[00:58:48] we don't know time.

[00:58:49] You have no time.

[00:58:50] You have eight months training done.

[00:58:51] Terrible.

[00:58:52] No time.

[00:58:53] Okay.

[00:58:53] This is the worst client we've ever had.

[00:58:56] Constant emails.

[00:58:57] He's disappointed.

[00:58:59] Constant emails.

[00:59:01] Okay.

[00:59:02] Yeah.

[00:59:03] That's,

[00:59:03] that's,

[00:59:03] that's good though.

[00:59:04] Everyone,

[00:59:05] everyone would be very happy with that.

[00:59:06] I say your approval,

[00:59:07] approval name is going up.

[00:59:08] There's a knock on your door.

[00:59:09] Knock,

[00:59:10] knock,

[00:59:10] knock.

[00:59:11] Knock,

[00:59:12] knock,

[00:59:12] knock.

[00:59:13] Yes.

[00:59:14] Come in.

[00:59:14] Oh,

[00:59:15] hello.

[00:59:15] Does he just open the door?

[00:59:16] You don't open it.

[00:59:18] Oh,

[00:59:18] hello.

[00:59:20] This is Paul.

[00:59:21] Paul is your like money,

[00:59:22] money guy,

[00:59:23] right?

[00:59:23] Just checking.

[00:59:24] I say money guy for like for,

[00:59:25] you know,

[00:59:26] foreign.

[00:59:27] He's my acronym specialist.

[00:59:29] Yes.

[00:59:29] That's him.

[00:59:30] Paul says,

[00:59:31] hello.

[00:59:31] How are you?

[00:59:33] Clown central.

[00:59:33] Nice to meet you.

[00:59:34] Just let you know,

[00:59:36] we had,

[00:59:37] I don't know how this is going to work.

[00:59:38] Cause you just destroyed currency in the country or the use of it.

[00:59:41] But we've a,

[00:59:43] a lot of your people are very happy with you.

[00:59:46] Think you're very cool.

[00:59:47] Very nice.

[00:59:48] Um,

[00:59:49] they would like to build you something.

[00:59:50] Do you know what I mean?

[00:59:51] Like a statue or a monument or something that we can say that is also crown central,

[00:59:56] something cool that we can,

[00:59:58] you know,

[00:59:58] celebrate.

[00:59:59] Great.

[01:00:01] Any ideas what we can do there?

[01:00:03] Sometimes they're not creative now.

[01:00:05] Okay.

[01:00:06] Here's what you can do.

[01:00:07] Yes.

[01:00:08] You build,

[01:00:09] I don't know if you've ever been to a playground in the United States in around 1984.

[01:00:16] 1984.

[01:00:17] I was actually.

[01:00:18] Okay.

[01:00:19] Uh,

[01:00:20] I wasn't born there.

[01:00:21] Yeah.

[01:00:21] It is like a,

[01:00:22] it's,

[01:00:23] it's a combination of,

[01:00:25] uh,

[01:00:27] concrete and other assorted murder weapons.

[01:00:32] Uh,

[01:00:32] uh,

[01:00:33] a raid,

[01:00:34] uh,

[01:00:35] with,

[01:00:36] uh,

[01:00:36] uh,

[01:00:37] what can,

[01:00:37] what could I say?

[01:00:38] But like opportunities for horror.

[01:00:41] Uh,

[01:00:42] okay.

[01:00:43] So,

[01:00:43] so if you were going to build clown central,

[01:00:46] anything,

[01:00:46] it would be one of those,

[01:00:48] it would be a monument to playgrounds in the eighties in the United States that were just casualty producers.

[01:00:57] And that's the only way I could describe just children climbing on monkey bars and then falling and absurd.

[01:01:03] Like you didn't have to build the monkey bars that high.

[01:01:06] Somebody chose to build them up that high.

[01:01:08] Yeah.

[01:01:09] An adult was like,

[01:01:10] oh,

[01:01:10] well,

[01:01:10] 15 feet high is how high the monkey bars should be for these children to learn.

[01:01:15] So.

[01:01:16] Why wouldn't we build this giant jungle gym up to the point where if a child climbs to the top of it,

[01:01:23] as you know,

[01:01:23] a child would.

[01:01:24] Yes.

[01:01:24] And then falls to the bottom,

[01:01:26] as you know,

[01:01:26] a child will,

[01:01:27] it will cause lasting irreparable damage.

[01:01:30] Why wouldn't you do that?

[01:01:32] So it's,

[01:01:33] it's,

[01:01:33] are these playgrounds kind of like the abandoned ones?

[01:01:36] Like,

[01:01:36] I'll show you what I mean.

[01:01:37] Like these sort of dealies.

[01:01:40] Let's take a look.

[01:01:42] Yes,

[01:01:43] absolutely.

[01:01:43] Oh God.

[01:01:44] Okay.

[01:01:45] But there are,

[01:01:46] there are places where like they just built them to,

[01:01:52] to hurt.

[01:01:53] It feels like,

[01:01:54] it feels like they were built with the intent to cause harm.

[01:01:58] So yeah,

[01:01:59] I would suggest you build a monument to one of these.

[01:02:02] That's clown central.

[01:02:04] And so if anybody goes to like,

[01:02:06] remember clown central,

[01:02:07] they will be like,

[01:02:08] Oh,

[01:02:09] I,

[01:02:09] this is a terrible place.

[01:02:11] I'm going to leave.

[01:02:11] It kind of feels like,

[01:02:13] because you know,

[01:02:13] clown central is a nice guy,

[01:02:14] you know,

[01:02:14] he's chiming around doing his thing.

[01:02:16] Sure.

[01:02:16] I feel like people when go,

[01:02:17] when people go to that to go,

[01:02:19] isn't this a great country?

[01:02:20] Island is really kicking off.

[01:02:22] The,

[01:02:23] the,

[01:02:23] the ruler is doing great.

[01:02:24] And then they look at your playground of horror and they go,

[01:02:28] there's a dark deep past.

[01:02:31] Oh yeah.

[01:02:32] Clown central.

[01:02:33] There's a dark,

[01:02:34] there's a darkness in there that if ever gets out,

[01:02:36] Whitney Houston will be afraid.

[01:02:37] The man's already dabbled in necromancy.

[01:02:41] Yeah.

[01:02:41] You're surprised that there's a darkness.

[01:02:43] He's called upon the spirits of the undead to make a national anthem.

[01:02:48] Something so spurious as a national anthem.

[01:02:51] He's willing to cross space and times only ultimate barrier.

[01:02:56] There,

[01:02:57] there,

[01:02:57] that's kind of on us.

[01:02:58] Yeah.

[01:03:00] Why are you building up this hero?

[01:03:03] Whenever,

[01:03:03] what you need to remember is that we are all the broken playground.

[01:03:08] Clown central is all.

[01:03:09] That can be on a plaque.

[01:03:12] So the broken playground on the broken player.

[01:03:14] Yeah,

[01:03:15] naturally.

[01:03:16] Asshole.

[01:03:16] I thought it was going to be when you leave the airport,

[01:03:19] if a tourist comes to the island,

[01:03:21] and they leave the airport,

[01:03:23] there's a big welcome sign that says that as well.

[01:03:26] You know,

[01:03:26] just let them know what they're in for.

[01:03:27] The,

[01:03:28] does there,

[01:03:29] one of your security guys or someone says,

[01:03:32] look,

[01:03:32] we do have serious,

[01:03:33] serious news to tell you.

[01:03:34] There's no acronyms here.

[01:03:35] Very serious.

[01:03:37] Do you know all those people in the,

[01:03:38] in the oven room that was,

[01:03:40] that was talking?

[01:03:43] Somehow they managed to get out.

[01:03:45] I think we left the door open while we were shoving more people in there.

[01:03:49] They attempted a coup.

[01:03:51] Um,

[01:03:51] very real,

[01:03:52] like try to,

[01:03:53] to burn,

[01:03:54] um,

[01:03:55] modest bag into the ground,

[01:03:56] like Sourman.

[01:03:57] Um,

[01:03:58] we've caught them.

[01:03:59] So you're safe.

[01:04:00] Nothing wrong with it at all.

[01:04:01] What do we do with them?

[01:04:02] I guess put them back in charge,

[01:04:04] put them back on the council,

[01:04:05] uh,

[01:04:06] make sure that their problems are heard.

[01:04:08] Uh,

[01:04:09] make sure that people know that their authority is going to be respected in the future.

[01:04:13] Okay.

[01:04:14] Uh,

[01:04:14] and then put them back in that room and close it and then cover it with more aluminum foil this time.

[01:04:19] Just maybe twice as much.

[01:04:20] Just twice as much.

[01:04:21] Double it up.

[01:04:22] Yeah.

[01:04:22] Now,

[01:04:23] okay,

[01:04:23] before they go back in,

[01:04:24] they say.

[01:04:25] I've heard their concerns.

[01:04:25] I don't think they're wrong.

[01:04:27] I don't think they have nothing worth listening to.

[01:04:30] I've,

[01:04:30] I've,

[01:04:31] I understand their point of view.

[01:04:33] Yes.

[01:04:34] It's just that it is perhaps not the best vision for everybody at this time.

[01:04:39] So what we're going to do is we're going to create a series of councils to look into possible ways to implement their hopes for the future.

[01:04:48] Right.

[01:04:49] uh,

[01:04:49] future possible ways.

[01:04:51] Yes.

[01:04:52] Uh,

[01:04:52] this will be held at the looking into things for the future possible ways.

[01:04:56] Uh,

[01:04:57] committee in the looking into things,

[01:04:59] future possibly,

[01:05:00] uh,

[01:05:02] auditorium.

[01:05:02] And they'll be there.

[01:05:04] They'll meet there every day and we'll just wrap the whole thing in aluminum foil.

[01:05:08] And then eventually they'll be gone.

[01:05:09] So it's still looking into future,

[01:05:11] possibly L I F T P.

[01:05:14] Yes.

[01:05:15] Yes.

[01:05:15] The,

[01:05:15] the lift,

[01:05:16] the lift.

[01:05:17] Yeah.

[01:05:17] Okay.

[01:05:18] Perfect.

[01:05:18] Um,

[01:05:19] so it's so hard to talk at acronyms.

[01:05:22] That's why it is.

[01:05:22] Just so good at it.

[01:05:23] Thank God.

[01:05:24] You're good at body language.

[01:05:25] Um,

[01:05:26] man,

[01:05:26] I'd be fucked.

[01:05:27] And it works really well on an audio podcast as well.

[01:05:29] That's a,

[01:05:30] um,

[01:05:32] the,

[01:05:32] the,

[01:05:33] cause the secretary of retribution had said,

[01:05:35] listen,

[01:05:36] our problems are,

[01:05:37] we don't like being in that room.

[01:05:38] So you answered,

[01:05:39] we'll create more rooms with more meat,

[01:05:42] more,

[01:05:42] more committees.

[01:05:43] Now get back into the room.

[01:05:45] We need to get it.

[01:05:46] We need to get to the bottom of why you don't like being in that room.

[01:05:49] Oh,

[01:05:49] I can tell you it's warm.

[01:05:50] Yeah.

[01:05:51] But is that really why you don't like being in the room?

[01:05:53] Maybe there are,

[01:05:55] I'm naked and sweat mass off here.

[01:05:57] It is.

[01:05:58] It definitely is.

[01:06:00] Right.

[01:06:00] But,

[01:06:01] you know,

[01:06:01] fundamentally we're all naked and sweating our ass off somewhere,

[01:06:05] you know,

[01:06:06] like in a,

[01:06:07] in a deeper sense.

[01:06:09] It's just that everybody else is naked and sweating their ass off in a

[01:06:12] very productive and like helpful way.

[01:06:15] Yeah.

[01:06:15] They're filled with caring for their fellow man.

[01:06:18] Uh,

[01:06:19] and you're naked and sweating and more of a,

[01:06:21] like telling people what to do kind of a way.

[01:06:24] And so this is the best place for you.

[01:06:27] Oh,

[01:06:27] yeah.

[01:06:28] I never thought of it like that.

[01:06:30] Yeah.

[01:06:30] Yeah.

[01:06:31] It's just,

[01:06:31] everybody's in their best place.

[01:06:33] Oh,

[01:06:33] that's what we're doing.

[01:06:35] So then when he leaves,

[01:06:37] you grab him,

[01:06:38] shove him back into the room.

[01:06:39] Oh,

[01:06:39] absolutely.

[01:06:40] The room is where they go.

[01:06:41] It's where they're going regardless.

[01:06:42] Yeah.

[01:06:43] Yeah.

[01:06:44] Okay.

[01:06:44] They gotta get,

[01:06:44] they gotta be in the room.

[01:06:45] Yeah.

[01:06:46] Just always in the room.

[01:06:48] Okay.

[01:06:49] And you've created more rooms to just shove more people in.

[01:06:52] I don't think there'll be that many people.

[01:06:54] Yeah.

[01:06:54] But you just,

[01:06:55] just a few,

[01:06:56] uh,

[01:06:56] avid supporters of the rooms.

[01:06:59] I think it word gets out about the rooms.

[01:07:02] Don't go into the room.

[01:07:06] Um,

[01:07:07] there's a knock on your door.

[01:07:08] Knock,

[01:07:08] knock,

[01:07:08] knock,

[01:07:09] knock,

[01:07:09] knock,

[01:07:09] knock.

[01:07:10] Yes.

[01:07:10] Hello.

[01:07:12] He opens the door again.

[01:07:13] Sorry.

[01:07:13] Hello.

[01:07:14] Hello.

[01:07:14] Hello.

[01:07:14] It's Paul again.

[01:07:15] Hi.

[01:07:15] Hello.

[01:07:16] Concentral.

[01:07:16] Um,

[01:07:17] just let you know,

[01:07:18] I'm going on holidays.

[01:07:19] Um,

[01:07:20] I'm going away for 19 weeks.

[01:07:21] I'm going to Paraguay,

[01:07:24] uh,

[01:07:24] just on holidays.

[01:07:25] I've saved up the hours.

[01:07:27] Okay.

[01:07:27] Um,

[01:07:27] just let you know,

[01:07:28] we've built a playground,

[01:07:30] right?

[01:07:30] Um,

[01:07:31] and people are loving it.

[01:07:32] But I did check.

[01:07:33] Are you going to bury me under it?

[01:07:34] Oh God,

[01:07:35] no.

[01:07:36] Oh,

[01:07:36] okay.

[01:07:36] So this isn't the murder question.

[01:07:38] Okay.

[01:07:38] No,

[01:07:38] God,

[01:07:39] no,

[01:07:39] God,

[01:07:39] no,

[01:07:39] no.

[01:07:39] If anything,

[01:07:40] we put you in a helicopter and fly above it.

[01:07:42] Anytime now.

[01:07:43] Yeah.

[01:07:44] no,

[01:07:44] no,

[01:07:44] Um,

[01:07:45] I was just,

[01:07:45] just noticing.

[01:07:46] I checked the finances.

[01:07:48] Now I thought we had money,

[01:07:49] but it turns out there was a minus sign in front of that couple of billion.

[01:07:52] So we're actually in debt.

[01:07:53] We're,

[01:07:54] we have no money in the country at all to bring anything.

[01:07:56] Um,

[01:07:58] The IMF are kind of email and saying,

[01:08:01] you don't seem great.

[01:08:02] So I'm going to let you deal with that.

[01:08:04] Sorry.

[01:08:04] I forgot about the minus sign.

[01:08:05] I'm going to go away on holidays for 19 weeks.

[01:08:07] Bye.

[01:08:08] So Paul leaves.

[01:08:09] All right.

[01:08:10] So here's what we do.

[01:08:11] Yes.

[01:08:12] All right.

[01:08:12] We are going to false flag the IMF.

[01:08:16] So put them in an astronaut suit as to make them look like they are the ones who actually owe us that money.

[01:08:28] Right.

[01:08:29] Okay.

[01:08:29] So we're going to turn the tables on them.

[01:08:32] They will now have a bill saying they owe us all of the amount that they thought that we owed them in the first place.

[01:08:39] That's the beauty of the false flag.

[01:08:41] And then once everybody has the perception that that's what is actually happening,

[01:08:46] they'll not trust the IMF and their debt at all anymore.

[01:08:49] Anyways.

[01:08:50] So even though we won't be paying off the IMF,

[01:08:53] they won't think that they owe anything to the IMF because nobody does.

[01:08:57] The whole fucking system is going to collapse because the IMF made this one faulty transaction towards Ireland.

[01:09:04] You don't fuck with Ireland.

[01:09:06] This means that the whole international monetary fund will absolutely destroy,

[01:09:11] itself the moment they try and charge Ireland a dollar.

[01:09:15] Right.

[01:09:16] And even if they're talking to, you know, their big business meetings or whatever,

[01:09:20] saying, no, this can't be right.

[01:09:21] Right.

[01:09:22] I checked all the numbers three, four times, five times.

[01:09:24] I'm telling you it's it's the fault of pants.

[01:09:27] That person will be discredited immediately.

[01:09:29] Right.

[01:09:30] Yeah.

[01:09:30] They're going to have to fake their own death.

[01:09:32] Yeah.

[01:09:33] Well, they'll probably ring you.

[01:09:34] Guess what happens?

[01:09:35] They ring you.

[01:09:36] Oh, my God.

[01:09:37] It's back to the spaceship.

[01:09:39] Yeah.

[01:09:39] OK, that's great.

[01:09:40] It's a it's a perfect defense.

[01:09:43] Yeah.

[01:09:43] We don't we don't have a good offense.

[01:09:45] We don't have any offense.

[01:09:46] We just simply know a perfect defense.

[01:09:49] Yeah.

[01:09:50] You you're like, what's that one?

[01:09:52] That's Stephen Scal knows where it's all meant to be offense defense.

[01:09:56] Not jujitsu.

[01:09:57] Aikido.

[01:09:58] It's Aikido.

[01:09:58] Ultimately useless.

[01:10:00] Yeah.

[01:10:00] Apparently it works.

[01:10:01] Right.

[01:10:01] Right.

[01:10:02] No, no.

[01:10:05] So, yeah, that's great.

[01:10:07] Just so your people are settled.

[01:10:10] Do you want to do any sort of photo op just to organize it to assure your citizens that

[01:10:14] you're in control?

[01:10:15] Oh, absolutely not.

[01:10:17] The last thing that my citizens want is to have somebody in control.

[01:10:22] So I mean, nobody wants a picture of Clown Central to like show anybody.

[01:10:27] Then they'll be like, oh, who's in charge?

[01:10:29] Clown Central.

[01:10:29] And then they'll just keep looking at the asshole who's in charge.

[01:10:32] No, no, no, no, no.

[01:10:33] Do you just reckon you just go about your daily life?

[01:10:36] Absolutely.

[01:10:36] You jive, you strut, you do whatever you need to do.

[01:10:39] I've got my little vanity theater.

[01:10:41] Again, I apologize for indulging in one of the cardinal sins.

[01:10:45] Eating.

[01:10:45] You know, I yeah, I'm a little bit of a glutton.

[01:10:48] I have I have my own problems.

[01:10:50] I'm not a great ruler.

[01:10:52] I'm just I'm just out here trying to keep council people in ovens.

[01:10:57] That's what I'm out here trying to do.

[01:10:59] That's the main goal.

[01:11:01] Yeah.

[01:11:01] So the people and the council, we need somebody in between.

[01:11:05] And that person is me.

[01:11:07] Perfect.

[01:11:07] OK, that's pretty good.

[01:11:08] Yeah.

[01:11:09] Not simple.

[01:11:09] And you're just doing your bit.

[01:11:11] And I think.

[01:11:11] Yeah.

[01:11:12] OK.

[01:11:12] My part.

[01:11:13] Yeah.

[01:11:13] The final question I have to ask is at some point in your life, as you said, there was

[01:11:18] the the rule of when when president's terms are up or leader's terms are up,

[01:11:25] immediately kill him.

[01:11:25] You don't have to have that rule if you don't want to.

[01:11:27] It's it's you're the boss.

[01:11:28] Right.

[01:11:29] Of the island.

[01:11:30] But when it's when you have to figure out, OK, I need to figure out the next person to

[01:11:37] take over.

[01:11:38] Who would you name as your heir?

[01:11:39] And it just has to be someone who is alive now.

[01:11:43] And I suppose like you can dabble in necromancy, but it has to be a real person.

[01:11:46] I can't be your hypothetical great, great grandson.

[01:11:50] Necromancy is never good for leadership because.

[01:11:52] You don't think so.

[01:11:53] You got to have you got to have stakes.

[01:11:55] You got to have skin in the game.

[01:11:57] And I take them in stakes because of a vampire situation.

[01:11:59] But yeah.

[01:12:00] Well, I mean, that also helps.

[01:12:02] But you got to have skin in the game.

[01:12:03] And that means you got to have skin.

[01:12:05] So you can't have anybody undead lead a country.

[01:12:08] Sorry.

[01:12:09] Was Whitney Houston a skeleton when we when we reanimated her?

[01:12:12] What do you do you think?

[01:12:15] One, she was just a skeleton.

[01:12:17] She had her vocal cords intact, but but no skin.

[01:12:21] She wasn't looking great.

[01:12:24] She's been dead a while.

[01:12:26] For her age, she looks great.

[01:12:28] She does.

[01:12:28] That's true.

[01:12:29] That is true.

[01:12:30] Yeah.

[01:12:31] No.

[01:12:32] Who would I choose to succeed me?

[01:12:34] I think I would choose the first.

[01:12:40] I think I would choose the first cute kitten brought to me on January 2nd of the year that I die.

[01:12:51] So every January 2nd, people will bring me cute kittens.

[01:12:56] This is also this is part of island's lore history.

[01:13:00] Every January 2nd, people bring me a cute kitten in the morning.

[01:13:05] The first to bring me a cute kitten in the year that I die is the next ruler of island.

[01:13:13] One sec.

[01:13:14] I just want to test this out.

[01:13:16] Sure.

[01:13:17] Any good?

[01:13:19] You're the new ruler.

[01:13:20] Yes.

[01:13:21] Unless if I die this year, although it's not January 2nd, so you're not there yet.

[01:13:26] There's still some work to be done.

[01:13:27] It is very time based.

[01:13:29] You idiot, Hopper.

[01:13:30] You ruined it.

[01:13:31] Sorry.

[01:13:31] That's why I can't have anyone's listening.

[01:13:32] Hopper didn't ruin it.

[01:13:33] He did.

[01:13:34] He got the date wrong.

[01:13:35] I told him, show up on January 2nd.

[01:13:37] It happens.

[01:13:38] It happens.

[01:13:39] He's 10 months late.

[01:13:40] Okay.

[01:13:40] But he might be in.

[01:13:42] Absolutely.

[01:13:43] Got to get there early on the 2nd, though.

[01:13:45] Genuinely, you have just become Celine's favorite guest on this podcast.

[01:13:49] Works for me.

[01:13:49] Right.

[01:13:51] Wait.

[01:13:51] Speaking of which, with Knowledge Fight, the Cult of Celine.

[01:13:56] Yeah.

[01:13:57] It's all a circle.

[01:13:58] See how that came around?

[01:13:59] I was just blown away by her name, but what are you going to do?

[01:14:04] Okay.

[01:14:05] Great.

[01:14:05] Well done, Hopper.

[01:14:06] You can go in now.

[01:14:07] Okay.

[01:14:07] So when you...

[01:14:08] Are you staying on the island when Hopper takes over?

[01:14:10] I'm just going to assume it for the sake of it.

[01:14:13] I think my role will still apply in terms of once I am out of office.

[01:14:20] Yeah.

[01:14:21] I think I must be held accountable for everything that was done during my term as leader.

[01:14:28] Like a grocery...

[01:14:31] Like a tab.

[01:14:33] Oh.

[01:14:33] Yes.

[01:14:33] So I think a lot of people assume that to lead a country or to lead a large enough body, inevitably you are going to be forced into situations where you make a decision that is morally questionable.

[01:14:47] And because you're in that position of power, you're expected to make morally questionable decisions for the benefit of all.

[01:14:56] Yeah.

[01:14:57] So we don't immediately hold these people accountable for these morally questionable decisions.

[01:15:03] Right.

[01:15:04] Instead, allowing them to continue with their plan to see if it works out, I guess.

[01:15:09] Yeah.

[01:15:10] That's how it works.

[01:15:10] Right?

[01:15:11] Now, in my situation, on an island, that is relatively held, but there's just... we keep a tab.

[01:15:19] Yeah.

[01:15:20] Yeah.

[01:15:20] You know?

[01:15:20] So like Obama, you know, he drone bombed people.

[01:15:23] He's a big murderer who murdered innocent people.

[01:15:26] Yes.

[01:15:26] Everybody was like, well, we can't just put the president in jail because he's a murderer.

[01:15:31] He's the president.

[01:15:33] Yeah.

[01:15:33] Right?

[01:15:33] We expect our president to murder.

[01:15:35] Right.

[01:15:36] You know?

[01:15:36] That's what they're supposed to do.

[01:15:38] Yeah.

[01:15:38] But then once he stops being the president, the tab comes due.

[01:15:42] Yeah.

[01:15:42] Yeah.

[01:15:42] Yeah.

[01:15:42] Yeah.

[01:15:43] You don't just pick off for six months on holiday and do whatever you want.

[01:15:46] The tab's due.

[01:15:46] Yeah.

[01:15:46] Yeah.

[01:15:47] Yeah.

[01:15:47] Yeah.

[01:15:47] Yeah.

[01:15:47] It makes sense to me.

[01:15:49] So depending on...

[01:15:50] I mean, I guess my necromancy is going to catch up to me.

[01:15:52] I'm going to be held accountable for what I've done.

[01:15:56] So...

[01:15:56] And the people of Ireland, once I'm no longer in charge, will be charged with their own judgment

[01:16:04] on me.

[01:16:05] Well...

[01:16:05] That's the idea.

[01:16:06] Yeah.

[01:16:07] Well, Hopper the cat is supposedly now your heir.

[01:16:10] Sure.

[01:16:10] So then...

[01:16:11] I'll tell you.

[01:16:11] Hopper's a good kitten.

[01:16:12] So he's not interested in just immediate death.

[01:16:15] Right?

[01:16:15] But...

[01:16:16] Glad.

[01:16:16] He's a good choice.

[01:16:17] He's a solid choice from Clown Center.

[01:16:19] I'll give him that.

[01:16:20] But...

[01:16:20] Mm-hmm.

[01:16:20] I think...

[01:16:21] I'd imagine the way he'd run.

[01:16:23] And I know him.

[01:16:23] I've been around him for a while.

[01:16:24] That it would be, look, you did the necromancy part.

[01:16:28] Let's be fair.

[01:16:29] A lot of people were for it.

[01:16:30] And it was a banging national anthem.

[01:16:32] And there's not many of them around.

[01:16:34] They're not...

[01:16:35] They're not common.

[01:16:36] So...

[01:16:37] That's true.

[01:16:37] That's true.

[01:16:38] There's a way on that scale.

[01:16:39] But you did send a lot of people to Fair Islands.

[01:16:43] You sent a lot of people.

[01:16:44] You very directly sent a lot of people into the oven room.

[01:16:47] That's fair.

[01:16:48] Well, they wanted to go, though.

[01:16:50] They did.

[01:16:50] So, I think the fair thing would be...

[01:16:53] They, in fact, ran for the opportunity.

[01:16:55] They did.

[01:16:56] They did.

[01:16:57] They went through a whole process wherein they knew at the end of it they were going there.

[01:17:01] So, if anybody is at fault for going into those rooms, it is them themselves.

[01:17:07] And the people who voted for them.

[01:17:10] And that, I think, is why the option would be given to you.

[01:17:15] You can go to Fair Islands or you can go into the oven room.

[01:17:19] Which would you prefer?

[01:17:20] You can have either.

[01:17:21] Live by the oven.

[01:17:23] Die by the oven, my friend.

[01:17:24] You're picking...

[01:17:25] Fair Islands is lovely, I'm sure.

[01:17:26] Yeah, but I mean, that's not understanding the narrative satisfaction of submitting yourself to your own failings.

[01:17:38] Oh, okay.

[01:17:39] It is earned.

[01:17:39] It is earned and it must be obeyed.

[01:17:42] Thus, the future of my society, though, now is intact.

[01:17:46] Because the leader who founded it is, of course, subject to its very whims.

[01:17:51] So, you are walking in to meet the Secretary of Retribution.

[01:17:56] And I'll repeat that.

[01:17:57] Secretary of Retribution, who tried a coup already and then you sent him back into the room.

[01:18:02] It's about time we had a real talk.

[01:18:04] Juke it out.

[01:18:05] Yeah, ye are walking in to each other.

[01:18:06] Yeah.

[01:18:07] We'll see if anybody...

[01:18:09] Well, one, nobody's coming out.

[01:18:11] But two, we'll see who doesn't come out first.

[01:18:14] That's the best question.

[01:18:16] Right.

[01:18:17] God.

[01:18:18] Do you know what?

[01:18:19] Just think of it like...

[01:18:20] Did you ever watch that movie, the Liam Neeson movie, The Grey?

[01:18:24] No.

[01:18:24] Was that the one with the wolves?

[01:18:26] Yeah.

[01:18:26] That's basically you with the wolves with broken glass on your hands as you walk into the room.

[01:18:31] Yeah.

[01:18:31] And let's have at it.

[01:18:33] That's how I want to go out.

[01:18:34] Yeah.

[01:18:35] That's a fitting end.

[01:18:35] And honestly, it'll be the perfect way to see Clown Central off.

[01:18:39] That's the way Clown Central's got to go.

[01:18:41] That's fantastic.

[01:18:41] That's lovely.

[01:18:42] I think Ireland is going to do just fine.

[01:18:47] Yes.

[01:18:47] Jordan Holmes is the guest.

[01:18:49] And thank you very much, Jordan, for being a ruler.

[01:18:53] Where?

[01:18:54] What are you up to?

[01:18:55] Where do people find you online and offline?

[01:18:58] The show that I'm half of is Knowledge Fight.

[01:19:02] Yeah.

[01:19:02] You can go to knowledgefight.com and that's where you'll find it.

[01:19:06] I guess I have my own book called The Quiet Part Loud.

[01:19:11] You can go to thequietpartloud.com and find it there for free.

[01:19:15] Is it about necromancy?

[01:19:17] No.

[01:19:17] No.

[01:19:17] I mean, it is weirdly enough about the end of the world and the creation of a society

[01:19:24] to survive it.

[01:19:25] So that's kind of fun.

[01:19:26] Is it anything like Pants or Ireland?

[01:19:29] No.

[01:19:30] No.

[01:19:30] Yeah.

[01:19:31] No.

[01:19:31] This is a do-over.

[01:19:33] Unfortunately, it is not.

[01:19:34] That's a different story for a different time.

[01:19:37] Yes.

[01:19:38] Okay.

[01:19:38] Thank you.

[01:19:39] Yes.

[01:19:39] Very nice.

[01:19:40] Very nice chatting to you.

[01:19:41] And thanks, everyone, for listening.

[01:19:42] And I'll say goodbye.

[01:19:43] Bye.

[01:19:44] Bye.