JustinTheNickOfCrime is The Benevolent Dictator of JustinSylvania

[00:00:02] Hello and welcome to The Tyrant In Training Podcast. This is an improv comedy podcast where guests live out their tyrannical, maniacal, benevolent, malevolent fantasies.

[00:00:09] I'm the host, Kevin Ryan, and I'm also the sycophantic supporter of every guest, no matter how terrible their ideas are.

[00:00:15] Today's guest is content creator and podcaster JustinTheNickOfCrime, who mostly focuses on true crime and current events.

[00:00:21] You can find Justin's content online on TikTok and Instagram and more by searching for JustinTheNickOfCrime.

[00:00:26] Today, Justin is also known as the benevolent dictator of JustinSylvania.

[00:00:31] And here are some out-of-context quotes from Justin about what makes him wake up in the morning.

[00:00:36] Maybe that's the day we take all the people who we can't rehab for stupidity and they get put off a cliff in some elaborate celebration.

[00:00:43] I'm clearly a very massive narcissist. Okay, this is fun. Let's make murder fun.

[00:00:47] Don't forget, you can subscribe to The Tyrant In Training Podcast everywhere you find podcasts.

[00:00:50] You can follow the podcast on social media at Tyrant Podcast on Twitter, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram.

[00:00:57] And for more info, there's a website, which is TyrantInTraining.podcast page.

[00:01:01] So you're ruling everything. Do you want compliments? Do you want me to constantly compliment you?

[00:01:05] Oh yes, constant compliments, 100%.

[00:01:07] Okay, so you...

[00:01:09] Constant praise. In fact, I don't want anybody... I want only yes-men.

[00:01:13] I don't want...

[00:01:13] Yeah.

[00:01:21] So immediate corporate punishment or death, yeah.

[00:01:24] Maybe not. Yeah, I guess it depends on the severity.

[00:01:26] Okay, okay. Now...

[00:01:29] Okay, so you want...

[00:01:30] I just...

[00:01:32] So one of the things with the Tyrant title is...

[00:01:36] I'm assuming that you're understanding you get to be a Tyrant as you get to be as evil as you want.

[00:01:43] And...

[00:01:43] Yeah.

[00:01:44] I remember reading that the word Tyrant came from some Greek, ancient Greek kind of saying.

[00:01:50] Where it just meant that you became the ruler through unconventional means.

[00:01:55] It didn't mean anything bad, anything good.

[00:01:57] You know what I mean?

[00:01:58] You could be...

[00:02:01] Dolly Parton and be the Tyrant of America.

[00:02:04] It's just...

[00:02:05] You became the ruler of the country through unconventional means.

[00:02:08] But you want to go full-on evil.

[00:02:10] I mean, I don't know if I want to go full-on evil.

[00:02:12] I think that you have to have some fairness, otherwise your people are going to revolt.

[00:02:15] But...

[00:02:16] I mean, I want just yes-men.

[00:02:18] You know, I don't want...

[00:02:19] You can have a yes country.

[00:02:20] Of citizens.

[00:02:21] Yeah, that's what I want.

[00:02:23] Yeah, we'll give it to you.

[00:02:24] That's no problem at all.

[00:02:25] Everyone will agree with everything you say.

[00:02:27] Okay?

[00:02:28] I like it.

[00:02:28] That is fine.

[00:02:29] We are going to try this.

[00:02:30] I don't think anyone has demanded that everyone agree with what they say.

[00:02:33] But we're going to do this and we're going to ride this.

[00:02:34] All right, well then let's definitely do it because...

[00:02:36] Let's ride this roller coaster and see what happens.

[00:02:38] So nobody is going to disagree with a word you say.

[00:02:41] Okay?

[00:02:41] Okay.

[00:02:42] Perfect.

[00:02:43] Okay, Justin.

[00:02:43] Justin, I have to ask first question, which is...

[00:02:46] What would you call yourself on this island?

[00:02:48] What's your official title?

[00:02:50] I'm going to call myself the Benevolent Dictator.

[00:02:52] The Benevolent Dictator.

[00:02:54] Benevolent Dictator.

[00:02:55] Because I want to make sure I'm calling you this now.

[00:02:57] Because I've decided that I'm benevolent.

[00:03:00] Oh yeah.

[00:03:01] Yeah.

[00:03:01] And everyone agrees with that, of course.

[00:03:02] Everyone agrees that I'm benevolent.

[00:03:04] I'm the best.

[00:03:05] Ask anyone.

[00:03:07] Bill Caden.

[00:03:08] I've known a lot of dictators.

[00:03:10] They've all said that you're the best one.

[00:03:12] And do you know what?

[00:03:12] I've seen your TikTok.

[00:03:13] I believe I see that comment show up a lot.

[00:03:16] What a very benevolent comment you've just made, Dictator.

[00:03:21] Follow the Benevolent Dictator for more.

[00:03:24] Okay.

[00:03:24] So are you okay with On Your Island?

[00:03:27] I always give people a round figure of 10 million citizens.

[00:03:31] But is that too many for you?

[00:03:32] Or do you want to get rid of something?

[00:03:33] No, I think 10 million is great.

[00:03:35] Yeah?

[00:03:36] The more...

[00:03:36] Yeah.

[00:03:36] 10 million yes men.

[00:03:39] Nice round...

[00:03:39] Yeah, nice round number.

[00:03:41] Yeah.

[00:03:42] Yeah.

[00:03:42] And you can do what you want, don't you?

[00:03:43] And you'll have 10 million yes men.

[00:03:45] Do you want yes women as well?

[00:03:47] Or do you just want yes men?

[00:03:48] Hmm.

[00:03:49] I think everybody agrees with me.

[00:03:51] Yes, they do.

[00:03:52] Yeah.

[00:03:54] But that's what you...

[00:03:55] But do you want yes...

[00:03:57] I don't know how that answer...

[00:03:58] Do you want just yes men?

[00:04:00] Or do you want yes women?

[00:04:01] I want yes people.

[00:04:03] Okay.

[00:04:03] Yes children.

[00:04:04] Yes children.

[00:04:05] Yes old people.

[00:04:06] Everyone.

[00:04:07] Yeah.

[00:04:08] Perfect.

[00:04:08] Okay.

[00:04:08] Yeah, that's good.

[00:04:09] And again, these people haven't been lured or tricked to go onto your island.

[00:04:13] They are willingly going.

[00:04:14] They are all your followers.

[00:04:15] I'm so benevolent.

[00:04:16] You are benevolent.

[00:04:17] Exactly.

[00:04:18] Right?

[00:04:19] Do you know where you're going to put your island?

[00:04:22] We're going to build this country.

[00:04:24] If you want, I can share a world map.

[00:04:26] Yeah.

[00:04:26] Let's put a world map up there for a second so I can look.

[00:04:29] I have an idea, but I'm thinking somewhere in the southern hemisphere.

[00:04:33] So we're down here.

[00:04:34] Kind of where...

[00:04:35] You know what?

[00:04:35] I'll tell you what I'm thinking.

[00:04:36] You know what I'm thinking?

[00:04:38] Yes.

[00:04:38] Okay.

[00:04:39] You can't really see.

[00:04:41] I'm thinking...

[00:04:42] Okay.

[00:04:42] Can you scroll into Asia a little bit closer?

[00:04:45] Like toward between China and North and South Korea?

[00:04:47] Oh.

[00:04:48] Oh.

[00:04:49] Oh, in here.

[00:04:49] Yes.

[00:04:50] Yeah.

[00:04:50] Okay.

[00:04:51] Hold on.

[00:04:52] I got reasons for this.

[00:04:53] Okay.

[00:04:54] So yeah.

[00:04:54] Right.

[00:04:55] I want to go.

[00:04:55] I went...

[00:04:56] I ran away.

[00:04:57] Yeah.

[00:04:57] Going down.

[00:04:58] Okay.

[00:04:59] You see where that little bay coming off of China is right there?

[00:05:03] Right in here.

[00:05:05] Yeah.

[00:05:05] Well, except right between the point, the furthest out point, a little bit below you,

[00:05:09] go slightly lower there.

[00:05:11] Yeah.

[00:05:11] Yeah.

[00:05:11] Right below that, but then to the right a little bit.

[00:05:13] Right between North Korea and that little point at the end of the bay.

[00:05:17] Oh, like here?

[00:05:18] Yeah.

[00:05:19] Right there.

[00:05:19] Why?

[00:05:19] Why there?

[00:05:20] Because of trade.

[00:05:21] Because there's another dictator to the right of me, communist country to the left, plus

[00:05:25] China makes everything, makes trade routes real easy.

[00:05:29] Where is...

[00:05:30] Where is...

[00:05:31] Oh my God.

[00:05:31] I was going to say where...

[00:05:32] Isn't it Taiwan is the one that China aren't happy with?

[00:05:36] Are they the ones that make a lot of computer chips and stuff like that?

[00:05:40] Maybe.

[00:05:41] You can steal some of them.

[00:05:42] I can still trade with all of them because then Taiwan's not that far.

[00:05:45] Japan's not that far.

[00:05:47] Vietnam's not that far.

[00:05:48] You know, from a country, look, we're talking about a dictatorship here, right?

[00:05:52] So that means I'm going to take all the money for myself.

[00:05:54] So I have to be very limited on what I can do and spend.

[00:05:57] I want to be very thrifty on what I spend for importing and exporting.

[00:06:01] So if I can get anything in and out of China, in and out of North Korea, you know, again,

[00:06:05] I got an ally right there with North Korea.

[00:06:08] And, you know...

[00:06:10] Right.

[00:06:11] So we're about four minutes into the podcast and you are saying you're immediately allying

[00:06:15] with North Korea.

[00:06:16] It's just...

[00:06:16] I just want to stay at that because I'd probably put...

[00:06:18] Look, the West of the...

[00:06:19] Here's the thing.

[00:06:20] The rest of the Western world is going to just go ahead and judge me because I'm a dictatorship

[00:06:24] regardless.

[00:06:25] They're going to just not like...

[00:06:25] So I might as well be over here where China and North Korea, Russia's not terribly far.

[00:06:31] With your buddies.

[00:06:31] So you know what I'm saying?

[00:06:32] Because America's not going to want to trade me.

[00:06:34] They're going to put sanctions on me immediately.

[00:06:36] So is the EU.

[00:06:38] And...

[00:06:38] Yeah, no.

[00:06:40] I mean, that's...

[00:06:40] Yeah, no.

[00:06:40] You are absolutely right.

[00:06:42] I like your thinking.

[00:06:43] I just find it funny the idea that at some point, you know, Justin left America, jumped

[00:06:48] onto this island and went, fuck you, America.

[00:06:51] I know you don't like me anyway.

[00:06:52] Yeah, you're not going to like me anyways.

[00:06:54] I mean, I'll have...

[00:06:55] Don't worry.

[00:06:55] Dennis Rodman will come visit me.

[00:06:57] Oh, that's an interesting one.

[00:06:58] So you have...

[00:06:59] Seagal is Russia.

[00:07:01] Rodman is...

[00:07:02] Is he North Korea?

[00:07:03] Yeah, didn't he go to North Korea?

[00:07:05] I think, yeah, he's a buddy of North Korea.

[00:07:07] So what, I guess, 90s celebrity would you be best friends with?

[00:07:13] Can it be a 90s celebrity, but is also still a celebrity?

[00:07:16] I mean, I guess Dennis Rodman is still a celebrity.

[00:07:18] Yeah, yeah, why not?

[00:07:19] Yeah, yeah.

[00:07:20] Because, like, my favorite one, I don't know if he'd want to be friends with me, but I

[00:07:23] would choose Johnny Depp.

[00:07:24] Really?

[00:07:25] Yeah.

[00:07:27] Just do you appreciate his acting ability?

[00:07:29] I just love John.

[00:07:30] I just love everything about Johnny Depp.

[00:07:32] He's just a charismatic guy.

[00:07:33] Yeah, it's just he's one of my favorite actors.

[00:07:37] And the thing is, I have a friend of mine who knows him.

[00:07:40] I actually have a couple of friends that know him.

[00:07:42] So one of my closest friends works for rock legend Alice Cooper.

[00:07:47] Alice Cooper's in a band called Bear Pies with Johnny Depp.

[00:07:50] So I know a lot about Johnny, things like that.

[00:07:53] And I just, I don't know, everything I've heard about him, even from outside of whatever,

[00:07:57] he just, he seems like an interesting guy.

[00:07:59] Do you have him on the island?

[00:08:01] Go on, Johnny.

[00:08:01] He doesn't have to stay there, but he can come visit.

[00:08:04] He's got a free house.

[00:08:05] Isn't, I think, well, I know Segal is staying in Russia now.

[00:08:10] He's a Russian citizen and all that.

[00:08:11] But I think he's like an ambassador.

[00:08:13] Amazing.

[00:08:14] He's meant to promote their cultural.

[00:08:16] So you could give maybe a title to Johnny like that as well.

[00:08:18] Yeah, we could.

[00:08:19] I don't know how to think of what that is while we talk about this.

[00:08:21] Think of an appropriate role.

[00:08:23] But yeah, he's going to get, yeah, definitely a minister type position, a cabinet position.

[00:08:26] Yeah.

[00:08:27] Maybe, maybe Western diplomatic affairs minister.

[00:08:30] Oh, that's pretty sweet.

[00:08:31] You handle the Eastern diplomatic affairs and he can do the Western one.

[00:08:35] Yeah.

[00:08:35] Because everybody loves it.

[00:08:36] Yeah.

[00:08:36] Yeah.

[00:08:36] Yeah.

[00:08:37] There's no one I get thoughts from Johnny Depp ever.

[00:08:40] Yeah.

[00:08:40] Except they ever heard.

[00:08:41] Yeah.

[00:08:42] She's not welcome, is she?

[00:08:43] No.

[00:08:43] God, no.

[00:08:44] Well, she's upon arrival, immediate death.

[00:08:47] Right.

[00:08:47] And she's edited out of Aquaman.

[00:08:49] Yeah.

[00:08:49] Okay.

[00:08:50] Yeah.

[00:08:50] That's right.

[00:08:50] It'd be easy to edit it out, actually.

[00:08:52] She's not in it much.

[00:08:52] Yeah.

[00:08:53] They edit it a lot.

[00:08:53] So what, what do you have any ideas?

[00:08:55] What, uh, what name you're going to give the island?

[00:08:58] Hmm.

[00:08:59] I don't know.

[00:09:00] That's a good question.

[00:09:01] Not just in Sylvania.

[00:09:02] We could go with that.

[00:09:03] That's fine.

[00:09:04] I mean, I'm not picking up the name because I can change it whenever I want.

[00:09:06] Oh yeah.

[00:09:06] But you can wake up and change it any day of the week.

[00:09:09] Just until Justin, just in Sylvania.

[00:09:12] Just in Sylvania.

[00:09:13] There you go.

[00:09:13] Just in Sylvania.

[00:09:14] I like it.

[00:09:15] Let's do it.

[00:09:15] Yeah.

[00:09:15] Do you think you'll stick with like naming it after yourself?

[00:09:18] Would you name a lot of things after yourself?

[00:09:19] Probably.

[00:09:20] That sort of person.

[00:09:21] It'd be a lot of statues.

[00:09:21] Yeah.

[00:09:22] Yeah.

[00:09:22] Yeah.

[00:09:22] A lot of statues.

[00:09:23] A lot of statues, um, to different parts of my life, you know, in, um, is it Prague?

[00:09:28] Yeah.

[00:09:28] In Prague, they had this bridge that's where it's like a thousand year old bridge.

[00:09:32] Right.

[00:09:33] And, um, you like history.

[00:09:34] You should know this, but they have a bridge and it's the 12 stations of the cross.

[00:09:39] Okay.

[00:09:39] And I'm not, and I'm not being blasphemous when I say this, but I want something like this,

[00:09:43] but with, but with the different stages of my life.

[00:09:48] Oh, okay.

[00:09:48] So you have the 12 stages.

[00:09:49] I mean, the last one then is surely like you being the benevolent leader.

[00:09:54] Is it?

[00:09:55] You're talking where that's where it's at.

[00:09:56] Yeah.

[00:09:57] Yeah.

[00:09:57] It's not up to like, Oh, me as an old man in bed.

[00:10:01] I mean, until we get there, but yeah.

[00:10:03] Right now you'll have 12 statues up to.

[00:10:05] Yeah.

[00:10:06] I mean, we can do more than that.

[00:10:07] We don't have to do, we could do more than 12.

[00:10:09] We can, we can leave room for expansion because of events that are going to occur.

[00:10:12] But, um, Oh, just, just say, would you do one for every year then?

[00:10:17] Not if I do it for every year, because that would be a lot.

[00:10:19] That'd be too much.

[00:10:20] I think that, you know, you could do one for every decade.

[00:10:24] I guess that'd be less than 12 then.

[00:10:25] That'd be less.

[00:10:26] Unless you like, I mean, you can plan to live for 120 years if you want.

[00:10:29] I'm not going to.

[00:10:30] That's true.

[00:10:30] I would have very good medical care.

[00:10:31] Yeah.

[00:10:31] Um, maybe for one for every five years and plus historic events caused by me.

[00:10:38] Yeah.

[00:10:38] You can have a little plaque to say whether it's an historical event or this is just five

[00:10:42] year.

[00:10:42] This is just a five year mark.

[00:10:44] Like between the ages of four, like your statue at 40 and your statue at 45 does not actually

[00:10:48] much of a change.

[00:10:49] It's just you.

[00:10:50] Thumbs up.

[00:10:51] And it's like.

[00:10:51] Exactly.

[00:10:52] Or maybe I hold a book or something that was written by me about me.

[00:10:55] It's been a pretty good five years.

[00:10:57] It's been pretty chill.

[00:10:58] Yeah.

[00:10:58] Pretty chill.

[00:10:59] Yeah.

[00:10:59] Um, okay.

[00:11:00] We'll definitely.

[00:11:01] Okay.

[00:11:01] I'll keep in mind about the statues because I'll have a question later, but we have just

[00:11:05] in Sylvania and the benevolent leader, uh, is benevolent dictator.

[00:11:10] Benevolent dictator.

[00:11:11] Yeah.

[00:11:11] Excuse me.

[00:11:11] Excuse me.

[00:11:12] What happens if someone calls you Justin or gets it wrong?

[00:11:14] Are we killing them?

[00:11:16] I don't know if we'll kill them for that, but I think that we will have to, to take some

[00:11:20] type of corrective action to ensure that it doesn't occur again.

[00:11:24] Um, maybe what we would do first offense, a little bit of waterboarding, I think a little

[00:11:30] bit of waterboarding.

[00:11:31] It's a little bit of water.

[00:11:31] How do you do a little bit?

[00:11:33] Like an hour of waterboarding.

[00:11:35] I thought after like five minutes, it's torture.

[00:11:37] It's a little bit.

[00:11:39] Well, I think you got it.

[00:11:39] You got to break it up.

[00:11:41] Oh, you break up the hours.

[00:11:42] Yeah.

[00:11:42] All right.

[00:11:43] So do they have to go away and come back next week for another?

[00:11:45] Yeah.

[00:11:45] And then, yeah.

[00:11:45] And if there's a second offense, which I mean, there won't be, then maybe they get like

[00:11:49] shot in the kneecap.

[00:11:50] Oh, fuck.

[00:11:51] And then if there's a third offense, then you know, you're, you're just dead.

[00:11:55] You're just dead.

[00:11:56] How are we doing today?

[00:11:56] How is the day?

[00:11:57] Because I have a favorite, um, uh, favorite form of, of, I suppose, what do you call it?

[00:12:03] Well, I'll tell you what, I'm going to promote you to minister of corporal punishment.

[00:12:06] So you can give me suggestions on death.

[00:12:08] How's that?

[00:12:08] Is anybody able to bring you to a cabinet position?

[00:12:11] I'm always a vice in your head.

[00:12:12] So no, but I am more than happy to do this.

[00:12:14] Yeah.

[00:12:15] That, that, that is perfect.

[00:12:16] Yeah.

[00:12:16] Um, yes, I am just a vice in your head.

[00:12:18] So you can't actually murder me.

[00:12:20] Okay.

[00:12:20] That's the one thing you have, you have carte blanche immunity.

[00:12:23] Sweet.

[00:12:24] That's the first time someone's declared it.

[00:12:26] And that is fine.

[00:12:27] I do.

[00:12:28] Do you have a, a form of corporal punishment that you prefer besides more waterboarding?

[00:12:34] I mean, some of the medieval punishments are pretty good.

[00:12:36] They're pretty cool.

[00:12:37] They're pretty cool.

[00:12:38] The, the, the, and the iron maiden and the guillotine.

[00:12:43] What I like is the Roman empire one where, and I think it might be the Palatine Hill, but

[00:12:49] I could be wrong where they used to bring you up to the hill and said, fuck you.

[00:12:54] You've done something wrong, you know, traitor.

[00:12:57] And then they just throw you off the hill.

[00:12:58] Yeah.

[00:12:59] I mean, that seems, that seems kind of tame, I guess.

[00:13:01] I think it's simple.

[00:13:02] And I think it's a bit of a, cause can you imagine, I, can you imagine if you think

[00:13:05] I'm doing this for my country?

[00:13:07] You know, you're, you think you're right.

[00:13:09] And you're the bad guy.

[00:13:10] Who's a traitor.

[00:13:11] But you think you're right.

[00:13:11] And then the way they defeat you is just going like lazily pushing you off.

[00:13:17] It's such a, you mean nothing to me.

[00:13:19] What I, what I do like about that idea though, is it makes cleanup simple.

[00:13:23] Oh yeah.

[00:13:23] You don't have to worry about it.

[00:13:24] Cause if you're, if you're like drawing and quartering people or using a guillotine,

[00:13:26] there's a lot of blood and things like that.

[00:13:29] But if you're taking somebody and pop, you know, push them over a cliff, especially cause

[00:13:32] we're on an Island, right?

[00:13:33] So that cliff probably leads into rocks and water.

[00:13:36] So sea life takes care of it all.

[00:13:38] It's away from people.

[00:13:39] There's no smell.

[00:13:40] It's environmental.

[00:13:41] Okay.

[00:13:41] I think this is a, I think this is a good, you know, sometimes the simple solution is

[00:13:46] the best solution.

[00:13:47] I think it, I think it's simple.

[00:13:48] It does no, there's no over cost on any, on any material or anything.

[00:13:52] Oh, I mean, you can do it yourself.

[00:13:54] If you want, you can, you can have a raffle for people to do the pushing if they want.

[00:13:57] Yeah.

[00:13:57] We would definitely do a raffle.

[00:13:59] Right.

[00:13:59] Yeah.

[00:14:00] Fun little adventure.

[00:14:01] I would love that.

[00:14:02] You can have kids day where the kids of the traitor push them over.

[00:14:06] You win a prize.

[00:14:07] Oh, wouldn't that be a great wedding picture?

[00:14:09] Imagine me and Celine getting married and we have to push the fellow who called you Justin.

[00:14:12] I would totally make that happen for a wedding gift.

[00:14:14] Beautiful present.

[00:14:15] I think that's a sweet present.

[00:14:16] Imagine, imagine the drone shot of that.

[00:14:18] That'd be amazing.

[00:14:19] To Sarah McLachlan singing in the background.

[00:14:22] Yeah.

[00:14:23] Would it be arms with an angel?

[00:14:24] Is that what she'd be singing?

[00:14:25] Probably.

[00:14:25] Yeah.

[00:14:25] With Johnny Depp on guitar or in piano.

[00:14:28] Can he play piano?

[00:14:29] Maybe.

[00:14:29] I don't know if he can play piano.

[00:14:30] He's a hell of a guitarist.

[00:14:31] Yeah.

[00:14:31] Yeah.

[00:14:31] I think that'd work well.

[00:14:33] Okay.

[00:14:33] Yeah.

[00:14:34] Okay.

[00:14:34] We've set up the key things about your country.

[00:14:36] You're just in, just, I'll never be able to say it right in the first.

[00:14:39] Just in Sylvania.

[00:14:40] Just in Sylvania.

[00:14:41] That's it.

[00:14:42] You came up with voice in my head.

[00:14:44] Thank you very much.

[00:14:46] Schizophrenia.

[00:14:46] You say it so eloquently.

[00:14:48] What type of house do you want to live in?

[00:14:49] Oh, I mean, obviously I want like this mammoth palace, right?

[00:14:52] Very royal, royal palace.

[00:14:54] I mean, I mean, not like, I'm not thinking like traditional medieval castle.

[00:14:58] I'm thinking, you know, almost Buckingham style Versailles kind of.

[00:15:02] Maybe like more Versailles.

[00:15:03] Like 17th or 18th.

[00:15:05] Yeah.

[00:15:05] Like 17th century or 18th century.

[00:15:07] Yeah, but you wouldn't really be able to have that because, you know, it's a new country.

[00:15:10] So you could build it in that style on the exterior, but with all the modern features.

[00:15:14] But yeah, that whole, you know, really long, some kind of like, I don't know, 40, 50, 60,000 square foot place.

[00:15:20] Yeah.

[00:15:21] With massive garden out the front and sides and stuff like that.

[00:15:24] Massive garden, massive pool.

[00:15:25] Definitely beach side.

[00:15:26] You know, definitely ocean views all around.

[00:15:28] Probably top of the mountain.

[00:15:30] Are you going to have a, what do they call them?

[00:15:33] The guards who are standing outside.

[00:15:35] Yeah.

[00:15:35] You'd have to have that.

[00:15:36] Yeah.

[00:15:37] You have to, because, you know, just because everybody agrees with me doesn't mean that somebody's going to get, not going to get a little froggy and decide to try to do something.

[00:15:43] So you got to.

[00:15:44] Too much.

[00:15:45] Or, or, or how do we know that now, you know, I've pissed America off.

[00:15:48] They're not going to send some CIA operative in.

[00:15:50] Yeah.

[00:15:50] You know, or MI6 isn't going to send somebody in to try to take me out.

[00:15:53] So we got to make sure that, you know, we have, we have some really well-trained guards there.

[00:15:58] Do you think those guys who are being sent in as assassins possibly, it's very easy for them to blend in if they just like have a t-shirt on with the

[00:16:06] benevolent dictator on the front of us and saying, this is a wonderful idea.

[00:16:09] I should go in and say hello and thank the benevolent leader.

[00:16:11] And then all your security guards are going, good idea.

[00:16:14] He would love that because I agree with everything that's positive about him.

[00:16:17] Yeah.

[00:16:17] I mean, they agree with it, but what they're, but the thing is we, we just can't look if every, we have 10 million people in this country.

[00:16:23] Right.

[00:16:24] And if I wouldn't have time to do my daily jobs and things that I want to do, if I had to greet citizens constantly, because they'd all be wanting to come up.

[00:16:31] So we, we, they can drop an email or, or maybe they can just write a letter, a handwritten letter or card, and they can drop it off at the front of the palace gates.

[00:16:40] Yes.

[00:16:41] And that can be brought up to me to go through at my, at my leisure.

[00:16:44] So you, you don't plan on being a man of the people out among the streets.

[00:16:48] I mean, I will at times we'll, we'll do our speeches and things like that, but you know, you'll have your meet and greets.

[00:16:54] Think of like queen Elizabeth, right?

[00:16:56] You know, just come out, wave at people in my car from my bulletproof glass.

[00:17:00] Yeah.

[00:17:01] Oh yeah.

[00:17:02] Meet and greets occasionally with heavy security, because again, you just never know.

[00:17:06] So you're going to have bulletproof glass around you.

[00:17:09] Oh, you have to.

[00:17:11] Even though you have an island full of yes men and women.

[00:17:14] Because you never know who's not, you never know who's infiltrated.

[00:17:16] That's great.

[00:17:16] You really settle into the paranoia quick.

[00:17:19] I do.

[00:17:20] It's very fast.

[00:17:21] I mean, probably the fastest I've ever seen.

[00:17:22] It's very intelligent.

[00:17:24] It's very, very good.

[00:17:26] I mean, I realized, I realized what's at stake here and I don't know.

[00:17:30] By the way, again, you could have chosen not for it to be at stake, but I like that you did and I appreciate it.

[00:17:34] And I love it.

[00:17:35] But we're just going to lean into it, you know?

[00:17:36] Yes, absolutely.

[00:17:37] So just when you set up the country, I know that you have ultimate say about everything.

[00:17:41] I just want to ask for the everyday admin stuff of running a country.

[00:17:45] Would you prefer to have your own inner circle that it's like 10 people that you pick to just go off and do the little things?

[00:17:51] Or would you allow your yes people the chance to vote for a Senate?

[00:17:56] You know, the thing is clearly from this position, as a benevolent dictator in this particular situation, I'm clearly a very massive narcissist.

[00:18:07] However, I'm an intelligent one enough to know that it might not be best for my country to surround my cabinet people, even with people that I pick who are yes men.

[00:18:15] So perhaps what I would do is I would pick people from different parts of the world who could meet with me on Zoom so they're not afraid of me murdering them.

[00:18:23] And they could advise me properly, but not rudely.

[00:18:28] You know, just like, hey, maybe we could try this.

[00:18:31] And I could say, no, that's a terrible idea.

[00:18:34] And if you were here, I would murder you and I'm finding somebody else.

[00:18:37] Or, but you're not getting murdered because you're not here.

[00:18:40] Yes.

[00:18:41] Or, you know, or I could take the advice under, take it under advisement.

[00:18:44] Because, you know, here's the thing.

[00:18:45] If I'm in my little island with a bunch of people that agree with me, then I'm in my own little world.

[00:18:48] I'm in my bubble, right?

[00:18:49] Yeah.

[00:18:49] But I need to know what's going on outside of that bubble in order for me to maintain composure throughout, you know, with other world leaders.

[00:18:57] Okay.

[00:18:57] So are you going to go on a hiring spree, then, where you're going to be interviewing people to act as your inner circle?

[00:19:04] I'm going to call it inner circle.

[00:19:05] Yeah, I would say so.

[00:19:07] Okay.

[00:19:08] So would you be like, so if someone is coming on and saying, look, I'm going to call you Justin, right?

[00:19:14] I'm a guy who tells it like it is.

[00:19:16] No, there would be parameters.

[00:19:18] You know, just like you can't go to your job and say, I'm going to do, I don't know.

[00:19:21] Like, you can't be like, I'm going to go to my job and just work without a shirt on.

[00:19:24] You can't do that.

[00:19:25] I do it every day, Justin.

[00:19:25] I tell you that right now.

[00:19:26] Okay.

[00:19:27] Well, I think if you went to, okay.

[00:19:28] If you went to an office, you couldn't.

[00:19:30] Once again, I'm in an office.

[00:19:31] I do it every day.

[00:19:33] I'm encouraged by my team leader.

[00:19:35] But I get your point.

[00:19:36] You can't do what you want.

[00:19:37] Okay.

[00:19:37] You get my point.

[00:19:38] So now there has to be parameters.

[00:19:41] I mean, you have to have the respect, you know, just because, because, you know, I'm still a leader of a country of a million people.

[00:19:49] That's, that's still, that still deserves, you know, being called by title, I think.

[00:20:24] Okay.

[00:20:25] I think there's a lot of people that would be able to export out of the country that would make people happy and want, you know.

[00:20:30] So.

[00:20:31] Who is it?

[00:20:32] People would love to visit.

[00:20:34] People would love to visit.

[00:20:35] People would love to visit.

[00:20:36] Yeah.

[00:20:36] And we could have this thing where it's not like North Korea or Russia, where like people get to visit.

[00:20:43] You know, you have a very limited visa and you can't do this.

[00:20:46] I don't want people to be afraid of visits.

[00:20:47] If you are, if you are a citizen from another country, you might have different rules and might have different immunity.

[00:20:53] Although there will be places that you're not allowed to go for obvious reasons.

[00:20:58] But, you know, we can keep you to the beaches and things like that.

[00:21:01] But we'd have to think of a really good export that we could do.

[00:21:05] Cars?

[00:21:07] But the thing is with cars, you're talking about import tariffs as well.

[00:21:14] You know what you could do?

[00:21:17] You could build, you could manufacture everything for the cars here, but then have them assembled, like shipped over to like Mexico.

[00:21:24] So they're assembled in Mexico.

[00:21:25] Then I can get them all to the American market because then it looks like basically what we're doing is we're hiding the origin.

[00:21:31] Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[00:21:33] Yeah.

[00:21:33] But then that doesn't help me with the world view.

[00:21:36] No.

[00:21:37] I suppose Mexico are saying, God, that Neville dictator is a great lad.

[00:21:41] Yeah.

[00:21:42] Mexico would love it.

[00:21:43] We create so many jobs.

[00:21:45] Yeah.

[00:21:46] And then, yeah, but they would never know that it was coming from my country.

[00:21:49] So that's a problem.

[00:21:52] Let's see.

[00:21:52] What could we do?

[00:21:53] No, wait.

[00:21:54] If you wanted something, though, you could do that.

[00:21:56] And if you wanted something to improve your image, then why don't you just do the kind of classic at this point and buy a sports team and invest a lot of money?

[00:22:08] Because the sports team is not going to guarantee you that you have a lot of love because you have to have something that everybody's going to want.

[00:22:13] Not everybody likes sports.

[00:22:14] Everybody's going to like that specific sports team.

[00:22:16] So you have to buy a lot of sports teams.

[00:22:18] You could do that.

[00:22:20] Manchester, the Qatari, is it Qatari?

[00:22:22] The Qatari-based government have bought into Manchester City and a load of other teams around the world.

[00:22:29] You know, they get, they are, you could buy a team just like the way Cristiano Ronaldo has gone over to Saudi Arabia.

[00:22:36] And he's jumping down saying, Saudi Arabia is a great old country.

[00:22:39] And how many impressionable people will go, hmm, Ronaldo has a point.

[00:22:45] You know, since we're being ridiculous, I think I have a better idea.

[00:22:49] Yes.

[00:22:49] Okay.

[00:22:50] So do you know how like there are proprietary formulas for certain things?

[00:22:54] Like Coca-Cola, for example, has a proprietary formula.

[00:22:57] Nobody knows what it is.

[00:22:58] Just Coca-Cola knows what it is.

[00:22:59] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:23:00] Okay.

[00:23:01] So my country is going to invent the absolute best form of toilet paper the world has ever seen.

[00:23:11] And it's going to be very well advertised that it's from here.

[00:23:13] And nobody will want to use anything else.

[00:23:15] And we're going to own the proprietary concoction on how to create it.

[00:23:19] And because of that, people will be like, look, look at what this country has done for us.

[00:23:23] They must not be that bad.

[00:23:25] Yes, there are some issues.

[00:23:28] I'm talking about that.

[00:23:29] It is so good.

[00:23:31] In what way good?

[00:23:32] Like it lasts long or the feel or the...

[00:23:34] Like cleans faster, softer.

[00:23:39] Yes.

[00:23:39] Can be used with or without a bidet.

[00:23:42] Right.

[00:23:42] Oh, right.

[00:23:43] Jesus.

[00:23:43] You know, and very, very eco-friendly from manufacturing to disposal.

[00:23:48] It's very much like the Wakanda of toilet paper.

[00:23:52] Yeah.

[00:23:52] Like it hadn't been known for years.

[00:23:55] And then suddenly, bam, you burst out onto the street.

[00:23:58] It's actually, amazingly, because it's so soft and yet so strong, people actually use it to TP their house willingly to protect from blizzards.

[00:24:09] Yeah, exactly.

[00:24:10] It can do all sorts of things.

[00:24:12] And I'm not talking about like, look, for anybody who is listening to us talking about this, I'm not talking about like, oh, it's going to be nice.

[00:24:17] I'm talking about it is life-changingly nice.

[00:24:20] Like to the point that you are going to take notice and your whole life will revolve around how amazing it is.

[00:24:26] My sex life has improved immensely from this toilet paper.

[00:24:29] I'm just going to put that out there.

[00:24:31] Yeah.

[00:24:31] So that's what it's going to boast.

[00:24:34] Things like improve sex life.

[00:24:36] You know.

[00:24:38] If you're using this toilet paper because of how happy you and your partner will be.

[00:24:44] I didn't say I had a partner.

[00:24:45] But yeah, no.

[00:24:46] That will be better than the last.

[00:24:48] Yeah.

[00:24:50] We are now able to have babies because of this toilet paper.

[00:24:54] Yes.

[00:24:55] Okay.

[00:24:55] That's a brilliant idea.

[00:24:56] Jesus.

[00:24:56] I didn't even get to the point of how you're going to make money.

[00:24:58] But yeah, no, that's very good.

[00:24:59] And that's how we make money.

[00:25:00] All you got to do is get this into America.

[00:25:02] That's all.

[00:25:03] Here's the thing.

[00:25:04] Once you get this stuff into America, the rest of the world follows.

[00:25:07] American, Western Europe, America and Western Europe will set the stage.

[00:25:11] China, my understanding is they don't use a lot of toilet paper in China.

[00:25:15] So you could be.

[00:25:16] You're definitely right.

[00:25:17] But I think you could be right.

[00:25:18] Yeah.

[00:25:19] Yeah.

[00:25:19] Yeah.

[00:25:20] So, you know, you got to look at market.

[00:25:22] But but this could be so amazing.

[00:25:24] I might send some pallets over to China to try to see if we can just completely sway that market.

[00:25:28] Because, you know, we're talking about a billion people.

[00:25:30] Same thing with India.

[00:25:31] Yeah.

[00:25:32] You know, I don't know what India's TP status is.

[00:25:35] Yes.

[00:25:36] Like this is this is how I have a TV that will end world hunger will cause peace in the Middle East.

[00:25:40] Like this is how good it is because it nourishes people.

[00:25:43] People will come together with this confinality.

[00:25:46] Yeah.

[00:25:47] Oh, people think it's made of a form of rice, but they haven't been sure.

[00:25:51] They can't figure it out.

[00:25:52] OK.

[00:25:53] Right.

[00:25:54] Jesus.

[00:25:54] So basically, this is just God like toilet paper that does everything we want it to do from now on.

[00:25:59] Pretty much.

[00:25:59] Yes.

[00:25:59] OK.

[00:26:00] That'll answer.

[00:26:01] That is our deuce ex machina.

[00:26:03] Deuce is a word for poo in it, I believe.

[00:26:06] But that's.

[00:26:07] Yeah.

[00:26:07] OK.

[00:26:08] That's fine.

[00:26:08] I was going to ask what on your what unusual list is the country of just in Sylvania top of?

[00:26:15] What do you mean?

[00:26:16] So like, you know, the way you have a list where it's like the happiest country in the world or the the best medicine, best health care.

[00:26:22] But then there's more.

[00:26:23] Obviously, we have best toilet paper for sure.

[00:26:25] Absolutely.

[00:26:25] But then there's like an unusual list.

[00:26:28] So like the most amount of carrots or something like that.

[00:26:34] What what sort of list would would your country be top of?

[00:26:37] Oh, it has to be something ridiculous.

[00:26:40] Balloon animals.

[00:26:42] Balloon animals.

[00:26:43] Balloon animals.

[00:26:44] The heaviest.

[00:26:45] Top balloon.

[00:26:45] No, top top maker of balloon animals.

[00:26:48] We have balloon animal gardens that you can come visit.

[00:26:51] They're preserved.

[00:26:52] And we are at the top of that list.

[00:26:54] Nobody else has better ones than we do.

[00:26:55] How do you preserve a balloon animal?

[00:26:57] We with the toilet paper.

[00:26:59] So you.

[00:27:00] So you know, OK, no, we will.

[00:27:03] We will encase it in resin.

[00:27:04] Oh, OK.

[00:27:05] Yes.

[00:27:06] I thought it was like a house of wax sort of thing.

[00:27:08] But yes.

[00:27:08] OK.

[00:27:09] So then like the top balloon animal in the world, like the best or the most amount.

[00:27:15] Both.

[00:27:15] Both top balloon animals and Lego building.

[00:27:19] And which building?

[00:27:20] Lego building, I think.

[00:27:21] People love Legos.

[00:27:22] Oh, yeah.

[00:27:23] Plus, it'll help with tourism.

[00:27:24] Oh, God.

[00:27:25] Yeah.

[00:27:25] Like this isn't.

[00:27:27] There is a Lego land in England.

[00:27:29] I think there is.

[00:27:29] There's the we I know we have one.

[00:27:31] We have one in Orlando, Florida here in the States.

[00:27:34] Oh, is it big?

[00:27:35] Have you been there?

[00:27:36] I've not been to it.

[00:27:37] Yeah.

[00:27:37] But but this is going to be a massive Lego land.

[00:27:40] You know what people love?

[00:27:41] People love Legos and people love the Titanic.

[00:27:44] We were talking about that earlier.

[00:27:46] So we would make a life size replica of a functioning Titanic.

[00:27:50] Are you going to make now this is going to be on the water, not under the water?

[00:27:55] Under the.

[00:27:57] Yeah, it'll be on the water.

[00:27:58] People can get on it.

[00:27:58] It's like Titanic before the iceberg.

[00:28:02] Perfect.

[00:28:04] You can have Johnny Depp play Leonardo DiCaprio's character.

[00:28:07] There you go.

[00:28:08] Yeah.

[00:28:08] He'd have it way more fun.

[00:28:10] He'd have way.

[00:28:11] He'd be great cast for that.

[00:28:12] And are you going to build a little Titan beside it and then Triton?

[00:28:17] And then.

[00:28:17] I think we should.

[00:28:18] I think we should.

[00:28:19] At some point.

[00:28:20] Yeah.

[00:28:21] With a PlayStation controller.

[00:28:22] With a PlayStation controller.

[00:28:24] This is fantastic.

[00:28:25] This is a very nice island, isn't it?

[00:28:27] I mean.

[00:28:27] We try to be nice to our people so they know that they're not really.

[00:28:31] You know.

[00:28:32] Enslaved.

[00:28:33] Enslaved.

[00:28:33] Yeah.

[00:28:34] No.

[00:28:34] As long as you say good idea, benevolent dictator.

[00:28:38] You seem to get.

[00:28:38] Yeah.

[00:28:39] Happy life.

[00:28:40] Yeah.

[00:28:40] Happy life.

[00:28:41] Besides, I mean, there's a lot of people being pushed.

[00:28:43] Are there a lot of people being pushed off that cliff?

[00:28:45] I mean.

[00:28:46] I mean.

[00:28:48] Sometimes people get a little bit out of line, but you know, the thing is,

[00:28:51] we publicize it.

[00:28:52] We make it a whole event.

[00:28:53] Food is served, you know.

[00:28:54] Put a bit of joy into it.

[00:28:56] Yeah.

[00:28:56] I mean, so it's like, it's like eight to 12 times a year.

[00:28:59] I would say.

[00:29:00] Oh, okay.

[00:29:01] It's like once a month.

[00:29:02] Yeah.

[00:29:03] Kind of once.

[00:29:04] You know, somebody gets out there, you know,

[00:29:06] because we're not immune to mental illness.

[00:29:08] Yeah.

[00:29:09] No.

[00:29:09] Yeah.

[00:29:09] I mean, who is it's human condition?

[00:29:12] There is.

[00:29:13] There probably is a lot of weddings being held.

[00:29:15] And during those times as well, as I mentioned.

[00:29:17] You know.

[00:29:17] Yeah.

[00:29:17] There probably is.

[00:29:18] And here's the thing.

[00:29:19] I want to, I just want to go back.

[00:29:21] I don't want to invest time and money and resources into mental health.

[00:29:25] No.

[00:29:26] It's time.

[00:29:26] Because we can just put them off a cliff.

[00:29:28] Perfect.

[00:29:29] Yeah.

[00:29:29] Into the water.

[00:29:30] You go.

[00:29:30] Yeah.

[00:29:31] And the rocks.

[00:29:31] But into the water.

[00:29:32] For America, right?

[00:29:33] We don't invest any time and money and effort into mental health.

[00:29:35] And so it works well for us.

[00:29:36] So why should I do it on my island?

[00:29:38] And America has been nothing but stronger.

[00:29:40] And it's true right now.

[00:29:41] Look how strong we are.

[00:29:42] We have no issues, no struggles with mental health whatsoever.

[00:29:45] Yeah.

[00:29:45] Perfect.

[00:29:46] Perfect country.

[00:29:48] Besides access to mental health facilities.

[00:29:52] Or lack of.

[00:29:52] Or a lack of.

[00:29:53] Sorry.

[00:29:54] Is there anything, is there any like ordinary everyday item or seemingly mundane thing that

[00:30:00] is banned on your island?

[00:30:02] Like an instrument?

[00:30:04] Yeah.

[00:30:05] Is there anything that would, there's like a pet peeve of yours that you decided I'm

[00:30:08] banning this?

[00:30:09] Oh, yeah.

[00:30:10] Yeah.

[00:30:14] Stupidity.

[00:30:14] That's a very broad concept.

[00:30:16] And I feel like we'll be caught up in that.

[00:30:17] We're probably going to lose a lot of people now that we've introduced this.

[00:30:19] Yeah.

[00:30:20] So you're banning stupidity.

[00:30:22] I'm banning stupidity because I can't deal with it.

[00:30:24] Someone used classic toilet paper.

[00:30:27] Straight to jail.

[00:30:28] Right.

[00:30:29] Straight to jail.

[00:30:29] They are not getting.

[00:30:30] Now, this isn't a.

[00:30:31] That sort of stupidity isn't punishable by throwing off a cliff.

[00:30:35] I mean, no, no.

[00:30:36] Because they don't know that they're stupid.

[00:30:38] It's unfortunate.

[00:30:39] But the, you know, that's the thing we'll see with people.

[00:30:41] So I don't know if you're familiar with George Carlin, but George Carlin wants to think about

[00:30:45] how stupid the average person is.

[00:30:47] And remember that 50% of the people are dumber than that.

[00:30:49] So we're probably talking about 5 million people here.

[00:30:52] So you are putting 5 million people in jail?

[00:30:56] Possibly.

[00:30:57] Yeah.

[00:30:58] I mean, we can say up to 5 million people.

[00:31:00] We'll use that as a baseline.

[00:31:02] Possibly.

[00:31:03] I'm going to hope that we can maybe.

[00:31:05] But here's the thing about that.

[00:31:06] If they're stupid, we will utilize the prison system.

[00:31:11] It'll be a nice.

[00:31:12] It's not going to be like a dungeon or something like that.

[00:31:14] It'll be more like, oh God, what kind of is it?

[00:31:16] Sweden or Norway or Finland?

[00:31:18] One of them has a really nice prison system for rehabilitation.

[00:31:20] I forget which one.

[00:31:22] So we're going to model it after that, except we're going to have education and teach them.

[00:31:26] Now, we don't want them to learn so much that they want to get up and revolt and realize that

[00:31:30] they're enslaved.

[00:31:30] So there's going to be a fine line here.

[00:31:32] Yeah.

[00:31:32] But we're going to teach them and educate them so they're not as stupid.

[00:31:35] And then once they've passed a certain test to be determined later, then they can be released

[00:31:41] back out.

[00:31:41] They can be released back out.

[00:31:42] So there's a lot of prisons.

[00:31:44] So maybe one of the odd lists that we'll have is highest IQ at this point.

[00:31:47] Because we're not going to report the dumb people until they go through rehab.

[00:31:52] Right.

[00:31:53] But nobody's ever smart enough to realize what sort of system you're in.

[00:31:56] So is that not the most average IQ?

[00:32:00] Not necessarily, because it's very easy.

[00:32:02] You can still teach them things to be intelligent.

[00:32:04] You just don't teach them that there are other governments out there.

[00:32:07] Ben Carson is a brain surgeon.

[00:32:11] Right.

[00:32:12] Right.

[00:32:12] He's not very smart.

[00:32:15] Well.

[00:32:16] Am I right in saying that?

[00:32:18] I mean, look, here's the thing.

[00:32:19] If you have somebody that's unrehabilitable, that word, you can't rehab off the cliff.

[00:32:26] Oh, yeah.

[00:32:27] Yeah.

[00:32:27] Yeah.

[00:32:28] Yeah.

[00:32:28] Now, if someone says confidently that they are unrehabilitable without knowing if that's

[00:32:35] a real word or not, is that stupid?

[00:32:39] And do they get pushed off the cliff?

[00:32:41] Well, no, because I'm the dictator.

[00:32:42] So it is now a real word.

[00:32:44] Oh, yeah.

[00:32:44] Yeah.

[00:32:44] Oh, I just want to make sure.

[00:32:46] Yeah.

[00:32:46] Yeah.

[00:32:46] That's fine.

[00:32:47] I wasn't suggesting that we throw off the benevolent dictator.

[00:32:50] I was just making sure that if that ever came up, that is very good.

[00:32:56] No, we can still try to rehab them for that.

[00:32:57] I mean, first of all, if you're too stupid to know you're stupid, you're too stupid to

[00:33:01] know whether or not you're able to be rehabbed or not.

[00:33:04] What if you are smart enough to know that you're ignorant of something, but then you don't

[00:33:08] comment on it?

[00:33:08] Well, I think that shows intelligence.

[00:33:10] Oh, yeah.

[00:33:10] No, that's fair enough.

[00:33:11] Yeah.

[00:33:11] So that's what we're talking about.

[00:33:13] Yeah.

[00:33:14] Yeah.

[00:33:14] So that's fine.

[00:33:16] That's instinctive.

[00:33:17] Good.

[00:33:17] Okay.

[00:33:17] And I would learn that in this prison anyway.

[00:33:20] Right.

[00:33:20] If I went in, I would learn the difference between.

[00:33:22] Oh, yeah.

[00:33:22] Very good.

[00:33:23] Do you have any ideas for your news stations?

[00:33:28] What they should tell the people?

[00:33:30] Like what fantastical fact should they tell the people about you?

[00:33:35] Absolutely.

[00:33:36] You know what?

[00:33:37] Again, this is it's hard to have original thoughts.

[00:33:40] Okay.

[00:33:42] So I'm going to we're going to we're going to take some stuff from other countries and

[00:33:45] we're going to play it off as our own to a degree.

[00:33:47] Good idea.

[00:33:48] So the first thing we're going to tell them is obviously every night how great I am and

[00:33:52] all the wonderful things I'm doing for them.

[00:33:54] Yeah.

[00:33:54] But also we're just going to you know, we're just going to flat out lie and talk about how

[00:33:58] all these other countries love us and they're flocking to us and we're well, you know, how

[00:34:03] wonderful we are and the impact that we're making in this in the world, especially for

[00:34:06] those in the toilet paper manufacturing industry.

[00:34:09] You know, the good that they're they're doing with the world now as far as things that are

[00:34:13] fantastical.

[00:34:14] Well, you know, y'all's neighbor sort of neighbor Scotland.

[00:34:18] Their national animal is a unicorn.

[00:34:21] So our national I don't know if you knew that, by the way, but it really is.

[00:34:24] I did not know that.

[00:34:24] But OK.

[00:34:24] Yeah.

[00:34:25] So the Scottish national national look, you can Google it.

[00:34:28] I swear to God.

[00:34:29] I'm going to Google this right now.

[00:34:31] National animal.

[00:34:33] National animal Scotland.

[00:34:34] It is a unicorn.

[00:34:35] OK, so that being said, I can't use a unicorn.

[00:34:38] That's Scotland's thing.

[00:34:40] That's right.

[00:34:40] You're exactly right.

[00:34:41] Yeah.

[00:34:41] How is America?

[00:34:42] Do I know this and you don't?

[00:34:43] You're Irish.

[00:34:44] I mean, I know that Irish is not Scotland, but you're right there.

[00:34:46] I try to avoid looking east.

[00:34:48] Fair enough.

[00:34:48] Bad Nick.

[00:34:49] But yes, fair enough.

[00:34:50] But there you go.

[00:34:50] So I would make it a Pegasus.

[00:34:52] Oh, that's a good choice.

[00:34:54] You can only see the Pegasus because they're going to believe what I tell them is if you

[00:34:57] have if you truly believe in the benevolent dictator.

[00:35:01] And so nobody will see the Pegasus.

[00:35:03] So they will always be striving.

[00:35:04] Oh, it'll be a Ponzi scheme of just give us more money and you can reach the next level

[00:35:09] and you can find it.

[00:35:10] Not money.

[00:35:10] Just give me more.

[00:35:11] Give me more praise.

[00:35:12] More praise.

[00:35:12] Work harder.

[00:35:13] But is there work harder?

[00:35:15] More taxes.

[00:35:17] Get get more of your wages.

[00:35:18] No, this is okay.

[00:35:20] Look, they don't get money.

[00:35:21] Oh, yeah.

[00:35:23] You get money.

[00:35:24] They get provided what they need.

[00:35:26] Yeah.

[00:35:27] Along with some luxuries.

[00:35:29] And perhaps we implement a point system that is ran by some accounting team that we have.

[00:35:35] Yes.

[00:35:36] But offshore.

[00:35:37] So there can't be any corruption because look, I'm not stupid.

[00:35:41] I know in these situations, people close to that inner circle, they're going to want

[00:35:44] to be corrupt.

[00:35:44] Utilize it.

[00:35:45] That's why when you go back and you look at the Soviet Union or East Germany, you know,

[00:35:50] you have the peasants driving Lottas and Trabants, whereas the, I know cars, it's just a whole

[00:35:57] thing.

[00:35:58] Yes.

[00:35:58] But whereas the upper echelon are driving like much nicer cars, it's not really fair.

[00:36:04] It's not a fair system.

[00:36:05] But this is going to be a fair system.

[00:36:07] So people will get cars.

[00:36:09] They will get, you know, they can choose.

[00:36:11] There'll be little change.

[00:36:12] Like you can choose colors.

[00:36:13] You can choose between like five cars.

[00:36:15] Yeah.

[00:36:15] You know, I might have nicer ones because I'm the benevolent dictator, but they all have,

[00:36:19] you know, nice things.

[00:36:20] The mechanics are taken care of.

[00:36:22] All that stuff is done.

[00:36:23] Whatever.

[00:36:23] Right.

[00:36:25] You don't even need insurance.

[00:36:26] Although if you kill somebody in a car accident, straight off the cliff.

[00:36:29] Off the cliff.

[00:36:29] Yeah.

[00:36:29] But that's a very, very binary system.

[00:36:33] Then as you said, it's not insurance.

[00:36:34] It's just don't kill someone or you'll be thrown off a cliff.

[00:36:37] Yeah.

[00:36:37] If not, your car gets taken care of or replace the car, whatever the case is.

[00:36:40] Yeah.

[00:36:40] So and basically there'll be a point system and throughout the year you earn points and

[00:36:46] then that's how you go.

[00:36:47] You say you can go shopping for the holidays.

[00:36:50] And I, it will be just miss.

[00:36:52] Just miss.

[00:36:54] Not just in miss.

[00:36:55] Yeah.

[00:36:56] Something like that.

[00:36:57] Just miss.

[00:36:58] Yeah.

[00:36:58] That's fine.

[00:36:58] No, no.

[00:36:59] It looks good.

[00:36:59] I was going to suggest, do you know what the point system?

[00:37:03] Because obviously that's for like luxuries or something like Chaco shopping or whatever.

[00:37:07] Do you want a lot of the points will add up to like, oh, you can get a new tattoo and

[00:37:13] all the tattoos are just like positive, benevolent dictator messages or people get those for free.

[00:37:19] Oh, I thought they'd work up and they'd want the next tattoo.

[00:37:22] Then you see, they'd be.

[00:37:23] Well, no, they can get the tattoos because I know.

[00:37:25] Cause here's the thing.

[00:37:27] That's free marketing.

[00:37:28] Right.

[00:37:29] Yes.

[00:37:30] Like that's free press.

[00:37:31] People are putting me on their body.

[00:37:32] Like that's free press.

[00:37:33] Why would I not want that?

[00:37:37] Can I ask something?

[00:37:38] It's a bit crude.

[00:37:40] Is there strip clubs in this country?

[00:37:43] I'm going to say no.

[00:37:45] Okay.

[00:37:46] Because, and I'll tell you why.

[00:37:47] And people aren't going to like this, but.

[00:37:49] You're a prude.

[00:37:50] No, it's not that I'm a prude.

[00:37:51] It's not that I'm a prude.

[00:37:52] It's not that at all.

[00:37:53] In fact, it's quite the opposite.

[00:37:55] But if you're spending time in the strip clubs or looking at porn or whatever, then how that's time you're taking out of manufacturing shit for me.

[00:38:04] Fair point.

[00:38:05] Yes.

[00:38:05] So you don't want any distractions like that.

[00:38:08] Family life.

[00:38:09] That's it.

[00:38:09] Yeah.

[00:38:10] Okay.

[00:38:11] You can earn a vacation, I guess, but.

[00:38:14] Then you can go.

[00:38:15] Like you can earn a vacation to go to the beach or something.

[00:38:18] Yeah.

[00:38:18] You're not going abroad.

[00:38:20] Right.

[00:38:20] You're not going out.

[00:38:22] No.

[00:38:23] People are leaving.

[00:38:24] You can go to North Korea.

[00:38:25] Oh, that's quite nice.

[00:38:27] Yeah.

[00:38:27] They'll be controlled.

[00:38:28] They won't be.

[00:38:29] And they're not going to want it.

[00:38:30] The thing is they're not going to want to go to North Korea.

[00:38:32] That's the thing.

[00:38:33] Yeah.

[00:38:33] It's.

[00:38:34] I'm not going to want to go.

[00:38:35] It'll be like the parents once went to North Korea thinking this will be an adventure and they came back and they're like, kids didn't like that.

[00:38:42] Better stay here.

[00:38:43] No.

[00:38:43] Yeah.

[00:38:43] Kind of like in the old days of East Germany, they used to vacation in Poland, you know, because that's where they could go or hungry.

[00:38:49] Like that kind of thing.

[00:38:50] You just, you have your little network.

[00:38:52] And you have to pushing cliffs and you have fucking Lego world.

[00:38:55] So you're like, they don't fucking have that North Korea.

[00:38:58] No.

[00:39:01] North Korea.

[00:39:01] I didn't have what I have.

[00:39:03] Yeah.

[00:39:04] No, no, no.

[00:39:04] That's fair.

[00:39:05] I'm a life-size public of Titanic that you can go on and spend time.

[00:39:10] You can spend the night.

[00:39:11] One of the state rooms.

[00:39:13] They don't have that.

[00:39:14] There is in Cork when I went to that museum, the Titanic museum.

[00:39:18] There was a few rooms done up to look like the different levels.

[00:39:22] That's really cool.

[00:39:23] I want to know that.

[00:39:23] Yeah, it's quite cool.

[00:39:25] And I think then.

[00:39:26] That's obviously my first mission.

[00:39:27] That's the first outreach I'm going to do is I'm going to go there.

[00:39:30] Go there.

[00:39:31] When you're the benevolent dictator.

[00:39:32] Yeah.

[00:39:32] So yeah.

[00:39:33] Yeah.

[00:39:33] I'm going to come to Ireland first so I can go there.

[00:39:35] Yeah.

[00:39:36] That's pretty good.

[00:39:37] There was actually a bit on it.

[00:39:38] A little bit more of it.

[00:39:39] But I think when you went in, they gave you like a name or they gave,

[00:39:42] I think it was a name or a number or something.

[00:39:44] To see if you survive?

[00:39:45] Yes.

[00:39:46] So, okay.

[00:39:46] So there's a place in Tennessee called Pigeon Forge, Tennessee,

[00:39:49] which is East Tennessee, where you should ask me about earlier.

[00:39:51] Yes.

[00:39:52] And they have a phenomenal Titanic museum and same thing.

[00:39:55] Yeah.

[00:39:55] Did you?

[00:39:55] Have you been there?

[00:39:57] Yeah.

[00:39:57] I've been to it a few times.

[00:39:58] Do you survive every time?

[00:40:00] I've survived once out of the three.

[00:40:02] Oh.

[00:40:03] Yeah, not bad.

[00:40:04] One time I got to be a first class passenger.

[00:40:06] So.

[00:40:07] That was my time you survived.

[00:40:08] Yeah.

[00:40:09] Yeah, naturally.

[00:40:10] Yeah.

[00:40:10] I think I survived as well.

[00:40:11] I was delighted.

[00:40:12] Celine did not.

[00:40:12] But I stayed with her anyway.

[00:40:14] The other question is, oh, when it's your birthday,

[00:40:17] when it's Justin Day.

[00:40:18] No, wait.

[00:40:19] Do they call it Justin Day?

[00:40:20] Hardly.

[00:40:20] It can be.

[00:40:21] On your birthday.

[00:40:22] How are people going to celebrate?

[00:40:24] Oh, my God.

[00:40:25] It's going to be a whole party.

[00:40:27] Like they're celebrating you, right?

[00:40:28] We're talking about fireworks.

[00:40:29] We're talking about a feast.

[00:40:32] Um.

[00:40:33] We're talking about like, I mean, a whole week fest.

[00:40:38] Parades.

[00:40:40] Military show of strength.

[00:40:41] Fireworks.

[00:40:44] Maybe some.

[00:40:45] Maybe.

[00:40:45] We may.

[00:40:46] Maybe we take the.

[00:40:48] Maybe that's the day we take all the people who we can't rehab for stupidity.

[00:40:52] And they get pushed off a cliff in some elaborate celebration.

[00:40:55] Like lemmings.

[00:40:56] Yeah.

[00:40:57] One after the other.

[00:40:58] You said.

[00:40:59] Yeah.

[00:41:00] You said that very emotionally.

[00:41:02] Yeah.

[00:41:02] Yeah.

[00:41:03] It's really.

[00:41:04] That's really.

[00:41:05] I don't know.

[00:41:06] I don't.

[00:41:07] But I don't want them.

[00:41:07] I don't want the one.

[00:41:08] One person to push the other person off the camp.

[00:41:10] Off the.

[00:41:11] Off the.

[00:41:11] The cliff.

[00:41:12] I don't want like.

[00:41:13] I don't want that.

[00:41:14] Yeah.

[00:41:15] Because that's very.

[00:41:16] There was another dictator that would do that shit.

[00:41:18] I don't want to be like him.

[00:41:19] Okay.

[00:41:20] Do you want.

[00:41:21] His name started with Adolf.

[00:41:22] Oh.

[00:41:23] Did he?

[00:41:23] Yeah.

[00:41:23] There was a camp.

[00:41:24] Matt Housen in Austria.

[00:41:26] There was a big cliff.

[00:41:28] Yeah.

[00:41:28] We're getting depressing now.

[00:41:30] Yeah.

[00:41:30] Maybe a little bit.

[00:41:31] Sorry.

[00:41:31] Sorry.

[00:41:31] There's a big cliff.

[00:41:32] And they would make you.

[00:41:34] Make the Jewish people push the other Jewish.

[00:41:36] Yeah.

[00:41:37] Okay.

[00:41:37] I don't want to do that.

[00:41:38] That's too reminiscent of him.

[00:41:39] This is not this type of dictatorship.

[00:41:41] How about.

[00:41:42] Okay.

[00:41:42] I think I make this better.

[00:41:43] And again.

[00:41:43] This is your day as well.

[00:41:44] So I'm trying to make this fun for.

[00:41:46] For the benevolent dictator.

[00:41:47] How about instead.

[00:41:48] You take all the stupid people.

[00:41:50] And you put them up again.

[00:41:51] Along.

[00:41:52] Like standing beside each other on the cliff.

[00:41:55] Right.

[00:41:55] And then.

[00:41:56] We say to them.

[00:41:57] Listen.

[00:41:57] We've kept you around for this day.

[00:42:00] So you should be a bit grateful.

[00:42:01] Right.

[00:42:01] You're going over the cliff anyway.

[00:42:03] But.

[00:42:03] What we're going to do instead is.

[00:42:04] We're going to have the benevolent dictator.

[00:42:06] If you fancy it.

[00:42:07] We can either get you running.

[00:42:08] Or we can have you on a little.

[00:42:10] Scooter.

[00:42:11] And you can drive along.

[00:42:13] Or run along.

[00:42:13] And you can kind of like.

[00:42:14] High five each one of them.

[00:42:16] And they'll go over as you high five them.

[00:42:17] And then we can get a drone shot of that.

[00:42:19] And it'll be like.

[00:42:20] It'll be like a domino effect.

[00:42:21] Synchronized swimming kind of.

[00:42:22] Yes.

[00:42:23] Yes.

[00:42:23] Yes.

[00:42:24] Well then for it to be smooth.

[00:42:25] We would have to.

[00:42:26] We would have to.

[00:42:27] To do a cart or something.

[00:42:29] Like a golf cart.

[00:42:30] Whichever is the.

[00:42:30] We will.

[00:42:31] We'll.

[00:42:31] We'll do practice sessions beforehand.

[00:42:33] Yeah.

[00:42:33] Yeah.

[00:42:34] But then what if they're too scared to go off.

[00:42:37] Then what do you do?

[00:42:39] Hold on.

[00:42:40] I've got an idea.

[00:42:41] I've got an idea.

[00:42:42] Okay.

[00:42:42] Okay.

[00:42:43] This is fun.

[00:42:44] Let's make murder fun.

[00:42:45] Yeah.

[00:42:45] We tie.

[00:42:46] There's a little.

[00:42:47] Is that a tagline for your show by the way?

[00:42:48] I have to ask.

[00:42:49] It's not.

[00:42:50] It's not.

[00:42:52] My.

[00:42:52] My.

[00:42:52] My podcast.

[00:42:53] I don't really run anymore.

[00:42:54] It's called 50 words for murder.

[00:42:55] Right.

[00:42:57] But we're.

[00:42:58] Yeah.

[00:42:58] I haven't really recorded that in a while.

[00:42:59] So I'm doing.

[00:43:00] I got other things that were.

[00:43:01] Yeah.

[00:43:02] But no.

[00:43:02] I don't do that.

[00:43:02] But.

[00:43:03] No.

[00:43:03] So listen.

[00:43:04] Yeah.

[00:43:05] We're fun.

[00:43:06] Almost like.

[00:43:07] Kind of like a Rube Goldberg machine.

[00:43:08] Right.

[00:43:09] So behind the.

[00:43:10] These people.

[00:43:11] You have like a little shelf.

[00:43:13] Right.

[00:43:14] Where the bunch of little trap doors.

[00:43:15] Right.

[00:43:16] We can.

[00:43:16] We can line up like up to 50 people.

[00:43:18] If we need.

[00:43:18] Yeah.

[00:43:19] Okay.

[00:43:19] Okay.

[00:43:20] There's a little bit of a trap door thing.

[00:43:21] All right.

[00:43:22] Yeah.

[00:43:23] And on each of these trap doors.

[00:43:24] There's a boulder.

[00:43:26] Right.

[00:43:27] Okay.

[00:43:27] So they're going to stand out.

[00:43:28] We're going to high five them.

[00:43:29] I'm going to drive by in the car.

[00:43:30] But every time I drive by one in the cart.

[00:43:32] It releases a pen.

[00:43:33] It's attached to the cart.

[00:43:35] Releases a pen.

[00:43:35] That drops the boulder.

[00:43:37] Takes it with him.

[00:43:37] So the timing is perfect.

[00:43:39] And they can't check it out.

[00:43:40] And mess it up.

[00:43:41] They can't mess it up.

[00:43:42] That.

[00:43:42] Yes.

[00:43:43] Okay.

[00:43:43] That sorts everything out.

[00:43:44] Yep.

[00:43:45] And then look.

[00:43:46] Can you imagine.

[00:43:47] You do that in whatever time you want to do it.

[00:43:49] But let's say you do that in the morning.

[00:43:50] And in the evening.

[00:43:51] You have the video footage.

[00:43:52] You can throw it on when you come home.

[00:43:54] Yeah.

[00:43:55] From the party.

[00:43:55] And big screen of fireworks behind it.

[00:43:57] The whole thing.

[00:43:58] Oh, fuck you.

[00:43:59] You can get real.

[00:44:00] You can set off.

[00:44:01] Imagine the balloon animals being set off at the one time over the cliff.

[00:44:05] Or hold on.

[00:44:05] What if we don't do it though?

[00:44:06] It's a whole week long celebration.

[00:44:07] So what if.

[00:44:08] What if for everyone.

[00:44:10] Every time the rock goes off.

[00:44:11] We have a pyrotechnic specialist.

[00:44:13] To release a firework for each one.

[00:44:17] For each.

[00:44:18] For each boulder that drops.

[00:44:20] Yeah.

[00:44:20] Fucking hell.

[00:44:22] That'll light up the whole.

[00:44:23] Yeah.

[00:44:23] Amazing.

[00:44:24] That is fantastic.

[00:44:25] Then we get the drone.

[00:44:25] And we share that.

[00:44:26] On the screens afterwards.

[00:44:28] With additional fireworks.

[00:44:29] Because again.

[00:44:30] We're right.

[00:44:30] All the fireworks come out of where?

[00:44:33] Do you want.

[00:44:34] Just to add to this.

[00:44:35] Because this is a week long celebration.

[00:44:37] So if you're.

[00:44:37] Are you doing this under one day?

[00:44:38] Are you doing it every day?

[00:44:40] Because you could do it every day.

[00:44:42] Leading up to.

[00:44:43] We don't have it.

[00:44:43] We don't have enough people to do it every day.

[00:44:45] No.

[00:44:47] No.

[00:44:47] I think that the rehab program I put in place.

[00:44:49] Is going to be fairly successful.

[00:44:51] Okay.

[00:44:52] Yeah.

[00:44:52] Fair.

[00:44:52] Fair enough.

[00:44:53] Yeah.

[00:44:53] And I'd rather not kill people if I don't have to.

[00:44:55] You know.

[00:44:55] It's only really.

[00:44:56] Really?

[00:44:57] After gleefully.

[00:44:59] I don't know.

[00:45:01] After a half hour of gleefully describing.

[00:45:04] Look.

[00:45:05] If you have to do it.

[00:45:06] You might as well do it with some style.

[00:45:08] Okay.

[00:45:08] And with Jillian.

[00:45:09] But we don't want to.

[00:45:11] In an ideal situation.

[00:45:12] We don't want to.

[00:45:13] No.

[00:45:13] You can't throw out 38 minutes into it.

[00:45:16] Or whatever it is.

[00:45:17] I really don't want to hurt any innocent people.

[00:45:22] Okay.

[00:45:22] Okay.

[00:45:23] Fine.

[00:45:24] Absolutely.

[00:45:25] I do have a question.

[00:45:27] And it's a bit unfortunate.

[00:45:28] Does a knock on your door.

[00:45:30] Knock.

[00:45:32] A lot of how it got there from the guards.

[00:45:34] But go ahead.

[00:45:35] What?

[00:45:35] Oh yeah.

[00:45:36] I'm part.

[00:45:37] Hello.

[00:45:38] Hello.

[00:45:39] Hi.

[00:45:40] I'm Paul.

[00:45:41] Hi.

[00:45:41] Benevolent.

[00:45:42] Dictator.

[00:45:43] How are you?

[00:45:43] Yeah.

[00:45:44] Good.

[00:45:44] What do you want?

[00:45:45] Paul.

[00:45:46] I mean me.

[00:45:47] I mean you.

[00:45:48] I am a bit nervous.

[00:45:49] Because you're so talented.

[00:45:50] And handsome.

[00:45:50] Very handsome.

[00:45:51] I appreciate that.

[00:45:52] Yeah.

[00:45:53] I got one of the emails in here.

[00:45:56] From your advisors.

[00:45:58] And they were looking over the finances.

[00:46:00] And good news.

[00:46:02] Good news for you.

[00:46:03] We have a lot of money.

[00:46:04] We have 50 billion.

[00:46:05] Fantastic.

[00:46:07] The rest of your yes people.

[00:46:10] They would like.

[00:46:11] They would love to be honest.

[00:46:12] I mean really love.

[00:46:14] To build you something.

[00:46:15] I mean build you something great.

[00:46:17] Like a world wonder.

[00:46:18] To be in your honor.

[00:46:20] But we're not.

[00:46:20] We're not very creative to be honest.

[00:46:23] Do you have any ideas what we could build you?

[00:46:24] To celebrate you?

[00:46:25] Well you know.

[00:46:26] We always have to think about.

[00:46:27] Return on investment.

[00:46:28] We got to think about RI.

[00:46:30] Yes.

[00:46:30] So let's completely rip off Disney.

[00:46:33] Mm-hmm.

[00:46:34] And build.

[00:46:35] Instead of Walt Disney World.

[00:46:37] Benevolent dictator Justin World.

[00:46:38] Wait.

[00:46:39] Who's Justin?

[00:46:40] Me.

[00:46:40] What?

[00:46:40] Oh.

[00:46:41] Oh I've just been calling you a great.

[00:46:42] Benevolent dictator.

[00:46:43] Benevolent dictator.

[00:46:44] We don't have to use my name.

[00:46:45] Hello Justin.

[00:46:46] Benevolent dictator world.

[00:46:48] Hello.

[00:46:48] Hello.

[00:46:49] I didn't know we became friends.

[00:46:51] Benevolent dictator world.

[00:46:52] Whatever.

[00:46:52] It doesn't matter.

[00:46:53] Okay.

[00:46:53] Yes.

[00:46:54] We would build a theme park.

[00:46:55] I think.

[00:46:56] But it would be.

[00:46:56] Yeah.

[00:46:57] Mickey Mouse is.

[00:46:58] No we're not doing Mickey Mouse.

[00:46:59] I'm the mascot.

[00:47:00] Oh.

[00:47:00] So they go around with a big head version of you.

[00:47:02] Not me.

[00:47:02] But like an animated version of me.

[00:47:04] That I approve of.

[00:47:05] The design.

[00:47:05] Oh yeah.

[00:47:06] But muscles and all that.

[00:47:08] But I would pay.

[00:47:09] But I would pay some Disney Imagineers.

[00:47:13] Like boatloads of money to come over.

[00:47:15] But instead of.

[00:47:16] But I would get all my stuff sourced out of China.

[00:47:19] Because it's so close.

[00:47:20] So we'd have a design there.

[00:47:22] They'd be brought over.

[00:47:23] We're paid handsomely.

[00:47:24] Total immunity.

[00:47:25] They're good to be here.

[00:47:26] The Imagineers.

[00:47:27] And then China comes over.

[00:47:28] And then our people start.

[00:47:31] Building the park.

[00:47:32] When you say total immunity.

[00:47:33] Like for the Imagineers.

[00:47:35] Because they're Americans.

[00:47:36] They're not going to know better.

[00:47:37] So when they're saying to you.

[00:47:39] This fucking big headed.

[00:47:41] Justin.

[00:47:42] Mascot.

[00:47:43] Animated Justin mascot.

[00:47:44] I'm saying big headed just as.

[00:47:46] I'm not.

[00:47:46] I'm not.

[00:47:47] I'm saying.

[00:47:48] Yeah.

[00:47:48] Just.

[00:47:48] I know.

[00:47:49] The.

[00:47:49] Yeah.

[00:47:50] The.

[00:47:53] I'm sorry.

[00:47:53] Just a few.

[00:47:54] People thought.

[00:47:54] Why is Kevin being a dick to him?

[00:47:56] All of a sudden.

[00:47:58] But if they're saying.

[00:47:59] This is a ridiculous idea.

[00:48:00] This animated character.

[00:48:01] Is fucking stupid.

[00:48:02] You clearly use a Pegasus.

[00:48:04] Yeah.

[00:48:04] Are you okay with them.

[00:48:05] Like disagreeing with you?

[00:48:06] No.

[00:48:06] They're not.

[00:48:06] They'll be briefed before they come in.

[00:48:08] They're.

[00:48:09] Look.

[00:48:09] They're not going to step out of line.

[00:48:10] Because they're.

[00:48:11] They don't want to lose the paycheck.

[00:48:12] They get the pay.

[00:48:13] Yeah.

[00:48:13] They get the paycheck.

[00:48:14] They don't want to lose the paycheck.

[00:48:15] Yeah.

[00:48:15] It's a job to them.

[00:48:16] It's a job.

[00:48:16] So you come in.

[00:48:17] You do your work.

[00:48:18] You don't speak up.

[00:48:19] Put your talents to use.

[00:48:20] Yeah.

[00:48:20] Don't talk about anything.

[00:48:22] Other than.

[00:48:23] You know.

[00:48:23] Building the park.

[00:48:24] Like don't talk about me.

[00:48:25] And you'll be fine.

[00:48:26] You are reading off an Elon Musk speech.

[00:48:29] At Tesla.

[00:48:30] Am I?

[00:48:30] Yeah.

[00:48:31] Am I?

[00:48:32] That's what he said for the Cybertruck.

[00:48:33] You don't talk about me.

[00:48:34] You don't talk about.

[00:48:36] You know what?

[00:48:36] Let's talk about this.

[00:48:37] Yes.

[00:48:38] I've changed my mind on something.

[00:48:42] Go on.

[00:48:43] Nobody gets five choices of cars anymore.

[00:48:45] Nobody gets choices on cars.

[00:48:47] No.

[00:48:47] Everybody gets a Cybertruck.

[00:48:48] Why?

[00:48:49] Because they're terrible.

[00:48:51] And it's to remind them.

[00:48:52] To put them in their place.

[00:48:53] Is this to reduce morale.

[00:48:54] So they can't do an uprising?

[00:48:56] Yes.

[00:48:56] And if they could.

[00:48:57] Where would they go?

[00:48:58] But they're thinking they're getting.

[00:48:59] Here's the thing about the Cybertruck.

[00:49:00] I know they won't be able to organize.

[00:49:02] Because that thing will break down too much.

[00:49:03] That's the thing.

[00:49:04] If they go.

[00:49:04] We need to storm the palace.

[00:49:06] They'll think.

[00:49:07] Let's throw all the equipment into our truck.

[00:49:10] And then they won't be able to go.

[00:49:11] It'll literally break.

[00:49:12] You'll cut off some fingers as well.

[00:49:14] This is fantastic.

[00:49:15] It's an anti-rebellion device.

[00:49:16] But here's the thing.

[00:49:17] Because I like to reuse things.

[00:49:19] Right?

[00:49:19] So when they break.

[00:49:21] You cut them in half.

[00:49:23] Yes.

[00:49:23] And now you have a dumpster.

[00:49:25] Oh.

[00:49:25] Because the back looks like a dumpster.

[00:49:27] Yeah.

[00:49:28] And in front.

[00:49:28] Like legitimately.

[00:49:29] There's a video.

[00:49:30] Or story around where raccoons.

[00:49:32] There's raccoon handprints.

[00:49:33] All over a Cybertruck.

[00:49:35] Because they thought it was a dumpster.

[00:49:36] And they were trying to get in.

[00:49:36] True story.

[00:49:38] But you know what?

[00:49:39] At the same time though.

[00:49:41] Looking at a Cybertruck.

[00:49:42] Literally angers me.

[00:49:43] So I don't know.

[00:49:44] We had to find balance.

[00:49:46] They're terrible.

[00:49:46] They are pretty terrible.

[00:49:48] They're awful.

[00:49:49] I mean.

[00:49:49] It's very entertaining.

[00:49:50] To watch the like new clips.

[00:49:52] Or the new stories.

[00:49:53] Come out about a Cybertruck owner.

[00:49:55] Using them.

[00:49:56] But they're awful.

[00:49:57] They're horrendous.

[00:49:58] The funniest thing.

[00:49:58] About the Cybertruck.

[00:50:00] Is that people spent money on it.

[00:50:02] Yeah.

[00:50:03] Isn't it like a hundred thousand?

[00:50:04] It's like.

[00:50:04] Like a hundred thousand dollars.

[00:50:06] Yeah.

[00:50:06] And they're breaking.

[00:50:07] And they're falling apart.

[00:50:09] The one I've seen recently.

[00:50:10] Is some guys.

[00:50:12] And the thing is about it.

[00:50:12] When you say like.

[00:50:13] Oh they spent money on it.

[00:50:15] I hope these fuckers are going broke.

[00:50:17] Because I have the fear.

[00:50:18] That these people have more money.

[00:50:19] Than like will ever need.

[00:50:21] To have sense for.

[00:50:22] So they'll just be like.

[00:50:23] Oh I spent loads of money on that.

[00:50:25] And I lost it.

[00:50:25] Anyway.

[00:50:26] On to the next stupid idea.

[00:50:27] But I did see a few people.

[00:50:29] Who bought a Cybertruck.

[00:50:31] With the idea that.

[00:50:32] They would put a.

[00:50:33] What do you call it?

[00:50:34] Like a billboard thing.

[00:50:35] On the back of it.

[00:50:36] Like a small trailer.

[00:50:38] That you could put up a.

[00:50:39] Is it a billboard?

[00:50:41] That sort of.

[00:50:41] Yeah I guess so.

[00:50:42] Kind of like a traveling billboard.

[00:50:43] Yeah.

[00:50:43] Yeah.

[00:50:44] So they're.

[00:50:45] They're carrying that.

[00:50:46] Like in a trailer.

[00:50:47] Behind us.

[00:50:48] And they're like.

[00:50:49] The idea is.

[00:50:51] Everyone is going to look.

[00:50:52] And turn their head.

[00:50:53] Towards the Cybertruck.

[00:50:54] And then.

[00:50:55] If you pay us.

[00:50:56] To put your company's.

[00:50:57] Logo on the.

[00:50:58] On the billboard.

[00:50:59] They'll see that.

[00:51:00] Yeah.

[00:51:00] But they're like.

[00:51:01] The thing.

[00:51:02] The last time I checked.

[00:51:03] They were like.

[00:51:04] The thing goes.

[00:51:06] A hundred kilometers.

[00:51:07] And then we need to charge it.

[00:51:08] For an hour.

[00:51:08] Or no.

[00:51:09] No.

[00:51:09] No.

[00:51:09] Sorry.

[00:51:10] It drives for an hour.

[00:51:11] And then we need to charge it.

[00:51:12] For an hour.

[00:51:13] The thing about the Cybertruck is.

[00:51:14] And I know we're getting.

[00:51:15] A little bit off course here.

[00:51:16] But the thing about the Cybertruck.

[00:51:18] Is this.

[00:51:18] If I saw a product.

[00:51:19] Being advertised.

[00:51:20] With a Cybertruck.

[00:51:21] I would go out of my way.

[00:51:22] Not to support that business.

[00:51:24] That's what I would think.

[00:51:25] Yeah.

[00:51:25] I hate it so much.

[00:51:27] But even their.

[00:51:28] Their idea.

[00:51:29] If you were going to be.

[00:51:29] All on board.

[00:51:30] On their idea.

[00:51:31] And say.

[00:51:31] Oh I get it.

[00:51:32] The Cybertruck.

[00:51:33] Draws attention.

[00:51:34] And then I look at the billboard.

[00:51:36] But I'd be like.

[00:51:36] Surely.

[00:51:37] I want a car.

[00:51:38] That doesn't draw attention.

[00:51:40] So then I look at only the billboard.

[00:51:42] Why are you drawing focus to the car.

[00:51:44] And then I don't give a fuck about.

[00:51:46] What's on the billboard.

[00:51:47] That.

[00:51:47] Because I'm too busy laughing.

[00:51:49] At the Cybertruck.

[00:51:49] If it was an.

[00:51:50] If it was a normal.

[00:51:51] You know.

[00:51:52] Like an age car.

[00:51:53] Like I just think about the person.

[00:51:54] Who drives the Cybertruck.

[00:51:56] Yeah.

[00:51:56] You know.

[00:51:57] Like the person.

[00:51:57] Like there's one in my neighborhood.

[00:51:59] And like.

[00:51:59] There is.

[00:52:00] I hate it so much.

[00:52:01] Is it still going?

[00:52:02] I have a DeLorean.

[00:52:03] It makes me very angry too.

[00:52:04] Because I'm like.

[00:52:05] My car is stainless steel.

[00:52:07] And your car is stupid.

[00:52:08] Yeah.

[00:52:08] So.

[00:52:09] Yeah.

[00:52:10] No.

[00:52:10] Yours is a fucking spaceship.

[00:52:12] That thing was built.

[00:52:13] How many years ago?

[00:52:14] 50?

[00:52:15] Well mine is 81.

[00:52:15] So 43 years ago.

[00:52:17] And it is still.

[00:52:18] I can't wait until we all have that in the future.

[00:52:21] Cybertruck is just.

[00:52:22] Yeah.

[00:52:22] Yeah.

[00:52:22] Go ahead.

[00:52:22] Sorry.

[00:52:23] You haven't done it.

[00:52:24] Yeah.

[00:52:24] It's exactly.

[00:52:24] It's just they make.

[00:52:25] They enraged me.

[00:52:26] So no Cybertruck.

[00:52:26] Actually.

[00:52:27] Let's change the rule.

[00:52:29] Nobody gets a Cybertruck.

[00:52:30] But if they ever mention Cybertruck.

[00:52:32] Immediate death.

[00:52:32] Oh I thought they were going to immediately get one.

[00:52:34] No.

[00:52:35] Immediate death.

[00:52:35] Okay.

[00:52:36] But.

[00:52:37] But.

[00:52:37] That's death by Cybertruck.

[00:52:39] Because.

[00:52:39] Then.

[00:52:41] Hold on.

[00:52:42] I'll get you.

[00:52:42] I know.

[00:52:42] I see your confusion.

[00:52:43] We'll get there.

[00:52:43] Yeah.

[00:52:44] If you like the Cybertruck so much.

[00:52:46] You're going to die with it.

[00:52:47] And the benefit of that is.

[00:52:49] Is that we destroy a Cybertruck at the same time.

[00:52:51] By cutting it in half for you to use as a dumpster.

[00:52:53] No.

[00:52:54] No.

[00:52:54] Not even in this case.

[00:52:55] We will just.

[00:52:56] We will just.

[00:52:57] Look.

[00:52:58] They already.

[00:52:58] Teslas already have a propensity to catch fire.

[00:53:01] Oh.

[00:53:01] Yeah.

[00:53:02] Just.

[00:53:02] Well.

[00:53:03] They'll burn alive in it.

[00:53:04] That's.

[00:53:04] It's not even going to be a fun death.

[00:53:05] It's going to be.

[00:53:06] You're going to burn alive.

[00:53:07] So you're going to sit them in there.

[00:53:09] Cybertruck.

[00:53:10] Immediate arrest.

[00:53:11] Immediate.

[00:53:11] Like.

[00:53:11] If you're like.

[00:53:12] Oh.

[00:53:12] You know what.

[00:53:12] I know.

[00:53:13] I know.

[00:53:13] But it feels that way.

[00:53:14] But you know.

[00:53:15] They're really not that bad.

[00:53:16] No.

[00:53:16] Done.

[00:53:17] Arrested immediately.

[00:53:18] Take it out.

[00:53:19] And they just make them sit in this.

[00:53:21] And don't worry.

[00:53:21] That'll catch fire.

[00:53:22] We will have a fleet of Cybertrucks.

[00:53:24] Just to destroy them.

[00:53:26] Oh.

[00:53:26] Very clever.

[00:53:27] Yeah.

[00:53:28] Where are they.

[00:53:28] They're built in America.

[00:53:29] Right.

[00:53:30] I think so.

[00:53:31] Yeah.

[00:53:31] Okay.

[00:53:32] Yeah.

[00:53:32] I was just wondering.

[00:53:33] It was hardly a like.

[00:53:34] Cheap Chinese labor.

[00:53:35] And then.

[00:53:35] That's fine.

[00:53:36] Okay.

[00:53:36] While we talk.

[00:53:37] Let me see.

[00:53:40] I have.

[00:53:41] A bit of bad news for you.

[00:53:42] What's that?

[00:53:43] I feel about bad news.

[00:53:45] I.

[00:53:45] I think.

[00:53:46] I don't like mentioning the bad news.

[00:53:48] But as a yes person.

[00:53:50] I think I should tell you it.

[00:53:51] Do you know what I mean?

[00:53:53] Okay.

[00:53:53] I think it would be wrong to.

[00:53:54] So.

[00:53:55] One of your.

[00:53:56] One of your inner council people.

[00:53:58] I think it was the fellow who's living in Paraguay.

[00:54:01] That.

[00:54:01] That guy.

[00:54:02] Yeah.

[00:54:03] He was organizing.

[00:54:05] He's actually.

[00:54:05] He's heavily invested in the Cybertruck.

[00:54:07] He organized a coup attempt.

[00:54:11] So.

[00:54:11] Against me?

[00:54:12] Oh yeah.

[00:54:12] Yeah.

[00:54:12] Yeah.

[00:54:13] Yeah.

[00:54:13] He was looking to.

[00:54:14] From Paraguay?

[00:54:14] From Paraguay.

[00:54:15] He.

[00:54:16] He gathered 10.

[00:54:17] 10.

[00:54:17] 10.

[00:54:18] Cybertruck lovers.

[00:54:19] Who you had said.

[00:54:20] Sent off to get murdered.

[00:54:22] And.

[00:54:23] Freed them before they could.

[00:54:24] You know.

[00:54:25] Burn in the Cybertruck.

[00:54:26] And they were planning a coup attempt.

[00:54:27] Good news is.

[00:54:28] They're all captured.

[00:54:29] They are captured now.

[00:54:30] You know.

[00:54:31] What about the guy in Paraguay?

[00:54:32] Oh.

[00:54:32] He's still in Paraguay.

[00:54:33] I don't know what he's doing.

[00:54:34] But.

[00:54:35] Yeah.

[00:54:35] What you want to do?

[00:54:36] Don't really know what you want to do with everyone.

[00:54:37] Yeah.

[00:54:38] That's.

[00:54:38] I mean.

[00:54:38] That's easy.

[00:54:39] I don't have to think that hard about that.

[00:54:41] Cool.

[00:54:41] So.

[00:54:41] I knew you wouldn't.

[00:54:42] Big brain.

[00:54:43] No.

[00:54:43] You have big brain.

[00:54:44] Exactly.

[00:54:45] This is.

[00:54:45] This is why we keep you around.

[00:54:47] So.

[00:54:47] What I would do is.

[00:54:48] Obviously.

[00:54:49] We have a.

[00:54:51] We have a military.

[00:54:52] Right.

[00:54:52] Which means we have.

[00:54:53] Hell yeah.

[00:54:53] Special forces.

[00:54:54] Things like that.

[00:54:55] Yeah.

[00:54:56] Elite special force.

[00:54:57] Going into Paraguay to get him.

[00:54:58] Bring him back.

[00:54:59] Bring him back.

[00:55:00] He was never here though.

[00:55:01] I know.

[00:55:01] But bring him back here.

[00:55:02] Oh.

[00:55:03] Bring him back.

[00:55:03] I get.

[00:55:03] Sorry.

[00:55:04] I misread.

[00:55:04] Yeah.

[00:55:04] Like.

[00:55:05] Bring him.

[00:55:05] Bring him here for the first time.

[00:55:14] But you can go in from Mexico.

[00:55:15] And then down.

[00:55:16] Well.

[00:55:16] Here's the.

[00:55:17] Here's the glory part about a dictatorship.

[00:55:19] Because.

[00:55:19] Like.

[00:55:20] They have eyes and stuff.

[00:55:21] But most information doesn't get out.

[00:55:22] So nobody knows what we're doing.

[00:55:24] And.

[00:55:24] It's a Paraguay.

[00:55:25] So we're going to.

[00:55:26] We're going to make our.

[00:55:27] Our elite soldiers.

[00:55:28] Kidnap him.

[00:55:29] But it's going to look like a cartel hit.

[00:55:31] Like.

[00:55:31] It's like the cartel took him.

[00:55:32] Yes.

[00:55:33] And then bring him back.

[00:55:34] And then bring him back.

[00:55:35] And nobody's going to know.

[00:55:36] It's not going to be public.

[00:55:37] People.

[00:55:44] With toilet paper.

[00:55:45] Yeah.

[00:55:45] With the toilet paper.

[00:55:46] String him up.

[00:55:47] Yeah.

[00:55:47] I'm going to make the.

[00:55:49] The 10 people who wanted to coup.

[00:55:51] Yes.

[00:55:51] Take box cutters.

[00:55:53] Jesus.

[00:55:55] Okay.

[00:55:55] Yeah.

[00:55:56] Yeah.

[00:55:56] Yeah.

[00:55:57] We're.

[00:55:57] We're going to strip him.

[00:55:58] Strip him naked.

[00:55:59] Right.

[00:55:59] Yeah.

[00:56:00] And we're.

[00:56:01] We're filming it live.

[00:56:02] Fucking live.

[00:56:02] Live stream.

[00:56:03] No pay-per-view.

[00:56:04] It's all fucking dark.

[00:56:06] And start just cutting like small.

[00:56:07] Like nothing.

[00:56:08] Not deep.

[00:56:09] Oh yeah.

[00:56:09] Yeah.

[00:56:09] Yeah.

[00:56:09] That'd be too much.

[00:56:10] Yeah.

[00:56:11] Just enough to be annoying.

[00:56:12] And hurt a little bit.

[00:56:13] And then continually douse him.

[00:56:14] For the next 24 hours.

[00:56:15] And rubbing alcohol.

[00:56:16] Oh.

[00:56:17] For 24 hours.

[00:56:18] Yeah.

[00:56:19] Now what if he gets an erection?

[00:56:20] I mean.

[00:56:21] I'm just saying.

[00:56:23] You're into a different day.

[00:56:24] Yeah.

[00:56:24] I'm not.

[00:56:26] I'm glad you're enjoying it.

[00:56:28] But it's not stopping.

[00:56:29] Not stopping.

[00:56:29] No.

[00:56:30] Okay.

[00:56:30] Okay.

[00:56:31] No.

[00:56:31] I mean that just gives him a new place.

[00:56:32] Just to.

[00:56:33] Use the erection.

[00:56:34] Yeah.

[00:56:34] That's another level for him.

[00:56:36] Okay.

[00:56:37] It's a different level.

[00:56:37] So then.

[00:56:38] Yeah.

[00:56:38] After that.

[00:56:39] We're going to take.

[00:56:40] You know this.

[00:56:40] We don't have any around here.

[00:56:41] I don't.

[00:56:42] You know like the small picture hanging nails.

[00:56:44] I thought you were going to say box cutters.

[00:56:45] Sorry.

[00:56:46] The small picture.

[00:56:46] Yes.

[00:56:47] I do.

[00:56:47] I do.

[00:56:47] I do.

[00:56:47] I do.

[00:56:48] We're going to hammer them under all of his fingers and toenails.

[00:56:50] Oh.

[00:56:52] Yeah.

[00:56:52] Oh yeah.

[00:56:53] No.

[00:56:53] No.

[00:56:53] That wouldn't be nice at all.

[00:56:54] Yeah.

[00:56:54] You have to really set an example.

[00:56:56] Yeah.

[00:56:57] And you're filming this as you said.

[00:56:58] Oh.

[00:56:59] It's live.

[00:56:59] We're going to watch him square him for a few days.

[00:57:01] Oh.

[00:57:01] I thought it was only for 24 hours.

[00:57:03] Oh.

[00:57:03] We're going to do this for a few days.

[00:57:05] We're going to.

[00:57:05] I said.

[00:57:06] We're going to.

[00:57:06] For 24 hours.

[00:57:07] We're going to douse him in rubbing alcohol.

[00:57:08] And then leave the 24 hours.

[00:57:10] Or leave the rubbing alcohol and do the rest.

[00:57:13] Just continuous.

[00:57:14] Yeah.

[00:57:15] Yes.

[00:57:15] Okay.

[00:57:16] Now if he survives this.

[00:57:17] Are we letting him go?

[00:57:18] No.

[00:57:19] Oh.

[00:57:19] No world.

[00:57:20] There's no world where he.

[00:57:21] He comes out of this live.

[00:57:23] He just tried to stage a coup.

[00:57:25] Right.

[00:57:25] Oh yeah.

[00:57:25] No.

[00:57:26] I'm fully in agreement.

[00:57:27] I just want to make sure that if he is surviving and he's still there.

[00:57:30] And he's saying.

[00:57:30] I can't trust him.

[00:57:30] That's some of the best sex I've ever had.

[00:57:33] What are we doing then?

[00:57:34] You're doing the toilet paper?

[00:57:35] With the toilet.

[00:57:36] Yeah.

[00:57:36] Exactly.

[00:57:38] Is he thrown off a cliff or are we done?

[00:57:40] Oh.

[00:57:40] No.

[00:57:40] It's got to be slower for him.

[00:57:42] Huh?

[00:57:42] It's got to be slower for him.

[00:57:44] Right.

[00:57:44] Okay.

[00:57:45] We can make him climb the cliff.

[00:57:46] No.

[00:57:50] We could make.

[00:57:51] Let's see.

[00:57:51] What can we do?

[00:57:52] We could have a situation where each of the 10 people have to kick him in the balls every

[00:57:56] hour.

[00:57:57] Forever.

[00:57:58] Well, not forever.

[00:57:58] Just for a couple.

[00:57:59] For a few.

[00:58:00] This is going to be a 72 hour thing.

[00:58:01] Yes.

[00:58:01] You've got to suffer for 72 hours.

[00:58:03] Yes.

[00:58:04] Then eventually again, we got.

[00:58:06] Look, I'm sorry.

[00:58:07] You have to set examples.

[00:58:08] When you set examples as a dictator, you have to be a little bit cruel.

[00:58:11] Yeah.

[00:58:12] So you get to that last 72 hour period.

[00:58:14] Once you reach the 72 hour mark, that is when your death starts.

[00:58:17] Okay.

[00:58:18] Okay.

[00:58:18] So you start, you start by cutting off each of the toes slowly.

[00:58:24] And then we work to the foot, work to the kneecap until he passes out.

[00:58:27] If he passes out, we try to stop the bleeding.

[00:58:29] Yeah.

[00:58:29] Until they wake up.

[00:58:31] And we do this all the way until like, have you ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

[00:58:34] Yeah.

[00:58:35] Yeah.

[00:58:35] Like eventually I want him to look like the black knight.

[00:58:38] Oh, fun.

[00:58:39] And then, and then we kill him.

[00:58:41] And then it's.

[00:58:42] Oh, very quick.

[00:58:44] Rusty spoon through the eye.

[00:58:45] Rusty spoon.

[00:58:46] Rusty spoon.

[00:58:47] The spoon.

[00:58:47] Which end?

[00:58:48] The spoon end.

[00:58:49] The spoon end.

[00:58:49] The spoon end.

[00:58:50] Yeah.

[00:58:50] Okay.

[00:58:51] Yeah.

[00:58:51] And the 10 people, are they, they're doing all this for you.

[00:58:54] The 10 new.

[00:58:54] They do all of this.

[00:58:55] And then they go off the cliff.

[00:58:56] And they're off the cliff.

[00:58:57] Any fireworks for them?

[00:58:58] No, actually, no, wait, sorry.

[00:58:59] No, they, they're doing it in a Tesla, right?

[00:59:00] Because they like Teslas.

[00:59:01] They like cyber trucks.

[00:59:02] Oh yeah.

[00:59:02] Yeah.

[00:59:03] They're doing it in the cyber trucks.

[00:59:04] They're going to burn alive.

[00:59:05] Oh yeah.

[00:59:06] And we'll make sure of it this time.

[00:59:07] Yeah.

[00:59:08] Yeah.

[00:59:08] Okay.

[00:59:09] Cool.

[00:59:09] Knock, knock.

[00:59:10] Yeah.

[00:59:10] Come in.

[00:59:11] Oh, hello.

[00:59:12] It's Paul again.

[00:59:12] Hi, Justin.

[00:59:13] Hi.

[00:59:14] Hi, Paul.

[00:59:14] What news do you have to tell me now?

[00:59:16] I like that you've become friends with Paul and you're on first name basis.

[00:59:19] By the way, I think that's nice.

[00:59:21] Yeah.

[00:59:21] Paul's cool.

[00:59:22] Yay.

[00:59:23] Paul's good.

[00:59:24] I am going on holiday to North Korea.

[00:59:27] First time I hear it's adequate.

[00:59:29] You got to, you got to watch that leader that you can't trust him.

[00:59:32] Oh, no.

[00:59:32] That's what I've been told.

[00:59:33] Yeah.

[00:59:34] Yeah.

[00:59:34] Yeah.

[00:59:35] Don't do worry.

[00:59:36] There's only one leader I trust.

[00:59:38] That's my God.

[00:59:39] Yeah.

[00:59:39] Benevolent dictator.

[00:59:40] That's you.

[00:59:41] Yeah.

[00:59:42] Anyway, I'm going there with my fiance and just let you know, I checked the numbers on that,

[00:59:48] that inner council guy, the fellow that we're after murder.

[00:59:52] It was a great show.

[00:59:53] Turns out we didn't have money.

[00:59:55] Turns out we've been in debt.

[00:59:56] There was a minus sign.

[00:59:57] So yeah, no, we had a lot, we had a lot of, a lot of debt there.

[01:00:00] We were actually minus 50 billion in debt before we started building that benevolent dictator land.

[01:00:06] So any idea?

[01:00:09] Yeah.

[01:00:10] Yeah.

[01:00:10] Yeah.

[01:00:10] I have a great idea.

[01:00:11] I have a great idea.

[01:00:11] Well, first of all, I'm going to call the consulate for you and your girlfriend.

[01:00:16] Yeah.

[01:00:17] And we're going to get you just upgrade to the nicest accommodations.

[01:00:20] In North Korea?

[01:00:21] Yes.

[01:00:22] I can't, I can imagine.

[01:00:23] Best.

[01:00:24] Best for you, Paul.

[01:00:25] Best for you.

[01:00:26] This is amazing.

[01:00:27] Yes.

[01:00:29] Anyways.

[01:00:30] Yeah.

[01:00:31] I have a perfect idea for this.

[01:00:32] So these people are under contract.

[01:00:33] They know that they don't get paid till the work is done.

[01:00:35] Right.

[01:00:36] So once the work is done, everything's functioning.

[01:00:39] We're just going to stiff them.

[01:00:40] Oh yeah.

[01:00:41] I mean, it's not really stiff them.

[01:00:42] It's your choice not to pay them.

[01:00:44] Right.

[01:00:44] Yeah.

[01:00:45] Yeah.

[01:00:45] We're just going to pay them.

[01:00:46] And then, okay.

[01:00:47] So even though you don't pay your yes people anything, you've now decided to pay less people

[01:00:52] money.

[01:00:53] Yes.

[01:00:54] Yeah.

[01:00:54] Oh, that's perfect.

[01:00:55] And then we can just say no or not in debt.

[01:00:57] Yay.

[01:00:57] I can't wait.

[01:00:58] So Paul.

[01:00:59] And who's going to talk back to me?

[01:01:01] Then who would dare talk back to your booming masculine voice?

[01:01:05] Exactly.

[01:01:05] Who would talk back to my voice?

[01:01:07] And you know, what they're going to stand at the, they're going to stand at the airport

[01:01:10] or the dock before they leave and complain about money.

[01:01:14] They wouldn't dare.

[01:01:16] This is great.

[01:01:17] I'm going to go on holiday now to the best hotel in.

[01:01:19] Enjoy it.

[01:01:19] I'm going to make, I'm going to have, I'm going to have the secretary make the call.

[01:01:22] We're going to get all set up.

[01:01:23] I love you benevolent dictator.

[01:01:25] I know you do, Paul.

[01:01:26] Do you want my bride?

[01:01:27] Nothing.

[01:01:28] Forget it.

[01:01:28] I appreciate the offer, but that, but that's for you.

[01:01:32] Hooray.

[01:01:32] She's a person with her own, her own, um, what's the word?

[01:01:36] Yeah.

[01:01:36] She's her own person.

[01:01:37] She is her own person.

[01:01:38] Yeah.

[01:01:38] I love it.

[01:01:39] Do you want to see, I just, uh, I just typed in the best hotels in North Korea.

[01:01:43] Do you want to see one?

[01:01:44] Sure.

[01:01:44] Um, is this like a legit Google search?

[01:01:46] Yeah.

[01:01:47] I just typed, yeah.

[01:01:47] Legit Google search.

[01:01:48] Yeah.

[01:01:48] Yeah.

[01:01:49] It's the crown plaza resort.

[01:01:50] Shang Bay.

[01:01:51] Gertrude.

[01:01:51] Hot spring.

[01:01:52] That's a Western owned hotel.

[01:01:54] That's very nice.

[01:01:55] That's not bad.

[01:01:56] Wait, where's the, there's the view isn't great.

[01:01:59] I mean, it's North Korea.

[01:02:00] Don't forget.

[01:02:01] It's not here.

[01:02:01] I thought it'd be better though in North Korea.

[01:02:03] No, I thought that'd be one thing.

[01:02:05] I know you get some good views around Korea and you know.

[01:02:08] I want to Google some North Korea stuff.

[01:02:09] Uh, I don't really like the pool or whatever that is.

[01:02:12] But yeah, there you go.

[01:02:13] Paul's going there.

[01:02:14] There he is.

[01:02:15] Enjoying it.

[01:02:15] Well, yeah.

[01:02:16] There's some pretty, pretty places in North Korea.

[01:02:18] Let me, hold on.

[01:02:18] Are you looking at hotels yourself?

[01:02:20] Or are you looking at, uh, views?

[01:02:22] I've got to get you to the best place.

[01:02:23] Paul is very, honestly, this is the first time Paul has been rewarded.

[01:02:26] Paul is a frequent character who oftentimes gets punished.

[01:02:29] Okay.

[01:02:30] Here's where I want you to Google.

[01:02:31] Okay.

[01:02:32] Okay.

[01:02:33] Google the Koryo Hotel.

[01:02:37] In North Korea.

[01:02:38] Koryo Hotel, North Korea.

[01:02:40] Oh, well, there's one review.

[01:02:42] Is that your review?

[01:02:43] It's five, five stars.

[01:02:45] No, it's a very nice hotel.

[01:02:46] Oh, Jesus.

[01:02:47] It's, it's big.

[01:02:48] Yes.

[01:02:49] Um, that's, I think that's the reception.

[01:02:52] It, yeah.

[01:02:53] Do you prefer that to the other one?

[01:02:54] Yeah, it's, it's, it is.

[01:02:56] It's a, it's an experience.

[01:02:58] Okay.

[01:02:58] You want, you want a view?

[01:03:00] Well, the view from that is, that's probably, that must be one of the tallest ones, right?

[01:03:03] I am not.

[01:03:04] Hold on.

[01:03:05] How would I try this one?

[01:03:06] It's a ski resort.

[01:03:06] Okay.

[01:03:07] Oh.

[01:03:08] Um, the M-A-S-I-K-R-Y-O-N-G.

[01:03:12] M-A-S-I-K-R-Y-O-N-G.

[01:03:14] I-K-R-Y-O-N-G ski resort.

[01:03:17] M-A-S-I-K-R-Y-O-N-G ski resort.

[01:03:19] Yeah.

[01:03:20] This, this seems, oh Jesus.

[01:03:22] Okay.

[01:03:22] That's the slopes itself.

[01:03:24] Is that nice?

[01:03:25] Do we like that?

[01:03:25] That is.

[01:03:26] Yeah.

[01:03:26] He'd be a good skier.

[01:03:27] I think.

[01:03:28] Yeah.

[01:03:28] So that's where you're going.

[01:03:29] Hooray.

[01:03:30] Paul cannot wait.

[01:03:31] Um, and I'm running out.

[01:03:33] You guys get the entire hotel all to yourselves.

[01:03:36] I don't know.

[01:03:37] Paul doesn't really respond to people either.

[01:03:39] He's more of an introvert.

[01:03:40] So that's.

[01:03:41] Yeah.

[01:03:41] It's working out.

[01:03:42] That is fantastic.

[01:03:43] That is first.

[01:03:44] That is because your behavior is rewarded.

[01:03:46] You are, if I must say so, virile.

[01:03:50] If anything else.

[01:03:51] I have two more questions for you.

[01:03:53] Yes.

[01:03:53] Benevolent dictator.

[01:03:54] Right.

[01:03:55] First one is obviously you have a hundred percent approval rating, right?

[01:03:58] Obviously.

[01:03:59] But people did hear about this coup.

[01:04:01] Obviously they heard the fact that you easily and handsomely defeated these coup, uh, plotters,

[01:04:06] but you're the rest of your inner council, maybe to save their own skin.

[01:04:10] Cause they're worried that you blame them, but they think you should maybe do a photo

[01:04:14] op just to like encourage your population of yes.

[01:04:17] People that you're in charge.

[01:04:18] No worries.

[01:04:18] You're not, you know, you're as strong as ever.

[01:04:20] Yeah.

[01:04:20] So I think that that's a good idea.

[01:04:22] Uh, we can, we can definitely get that on the books, but I, I, I,

[01:04:24] I just want to make it, make it abundantly clear that the coup situation was handled very

[01:04:28] publicly.

[01:04:29] Oh yeah.

[01:04:29] It was filmed, right?

[01:04:31] Like you, as an example.

[01:04:33] Yeah.

[01:04:33] With live streaming as an example, as to, this is what happened to you if you try to do this.

[01:04:39] Yeah.

[01:04:39] And listen, you have a hundred percent approval rate, excuse me, approval rating.

[01:04:43] So there's nobody doubting it.

[01:04:45] There's no one going, Oh, maybe that was the wrong thing to do.

[01:04:47] Like everyone is like, yes, yes.

[01:04:49] They all agree.

[01:04:49] They're like, how, how, look, we got, we got Lego Titanic world.

[01:04:52] And we had this new, this new like benevolent dictator park opening up.

[01:04:57] These people are crazy.

[01:04:58] Yeah.

[01:04:58] Like North Korea has got none of this stuff.

[01:05:01] By the way, they were very, um, they were very worried that you wouldn't be around.

[01:05:05] So they were very, um, like when it, when they first heard word of it, they were very

[01:05:10] worried that what if they succeed?

[01:05:11] And then we're so relieved and thankful when you, you know, publicly executed those people

[01:05:16] in a still manner.

[01:05:17] That's obviously the appropriate response.

[01:05:19] Do you think you would go with a photo op though, just to get like, okay, we're, you know,

[01:05:23] enough of the, the unseemly.

[01:05:25] No.

[01:05:27] We would create some triumphant statue to do putting it in the square, the main square.

[01:05:35] We'd move whatever that statue is somewhere else to the main square showing the triumphant.

[01:05:39] And I would be there not necessarily for a photo op with the commoners.

[01:05:42] Yeah.

[01:05:43] But you know, an event, a parade, food, all this stuff.

[01:05:47] Yeah.

[01:05:48] Uh, you know, the statue itself.

[01:05:50] Is that a statue of, you know?

[01:05:51] Yes.

[01:05:52] You create conquering with, with, with basically be a statue of me holding like a scepter probably

[01:05:59] maybe.

[01:06:00] And this guy's hung up and with like all the 10 people who, who had to hurt him, you know,

[01:06:06] a couple of them hurting him, but the other ones surrounding me, begging me to spare their

[01:06:09] lives when I don't.

[01:06:11] There'll be a plaque too.

[01:06:12] One of the old Disney, um, imagineers who's living here now.

[01:06:16] Um, they, they came along with a quick design concept.

[01:06:19] Do you want me to throw to you and see what you think?

[01:06:22] Yeah.

[01:06:22] Yeah.

[01:06:23] So we have now admittedly, it's a big statue.

[01:06:25] I'm talking statue of Liberty about 300 feet, something like that.

[01:06:28] It's a little bigger than I was thinking, but yeah, let's go for it.

[01:06:29] Why not?

[01:06:30] But I think the scale needs to be just for what I'm imagining.

[01:06:32] So it's you dressed in your, your best outfit.

[01:06:36] What type of outfit would you wear?

[01:06:37] You know, you see all these ones that show military strength.

[01:06:40] That's too much.

[01:06:41] We have the military strength.

[01:06:42] So why, why boast about it in the uniform?

[01:06:45] I kind of want to take it from like the Royals, you know, like, like coronation day kind

[01:06:49] of stuff.

[01:06:50] Yeah.

[01:06:50] Like Royal, Royal garbs or whatever.

[01:06:52] I forget what, I forget what the King was wearing on.

[01:06:56] He was coronated, but something like that.

[01:06:58] You have some sort of robe.

[01:06:59] I don't know if it would count as a robe, but some.

[01:07:01] Yeah.

[01:07:02] Some type of thing.

[01:07:03] Tick, but flowy.

[01:07:04] Yeah.

[01:07:05] But with a, with a, with a crown and a scepter and a whole thing.

[01:07:08] So you have the crown and scepter, right?

[01:07:11] Look at Charles coronation.

[01:07:12] Yes.

[01:07:12] Go ahead.

[01:07:13] So let's say what they think is you should be built.

[01:07:18] Your statue should be you wearing something like that with a big crown in your right hand.

[01:07:23] You can even, you know, hold it up triumphantly is a scepter.

[01:07:25] And then in your left hand, you're holding up a smaller version of the Paraguayan fella.

[01:07:33] Right.

[01:07:34] Right.

[01:07:34] You're holding him upside down and underneath.

[01:07:37] Okay.

[01:07:38] Yeah.

[01:07:38] It's your foot.

[01:07:39] You obviously you're standing on one foot and your other foot is standing on top of a

[01:07:44] Tesla.

[01:07:44] That's on fire with the 10 begging people inside it.

[01:07:48] And you're just standing on a triumphant.

[01:07:49] I love it.

[01:07:50] Right.

[01:07:50] I love it.

[01:07:51] Done.

[01:07:51] It incorporates everything.

[01:07:53] Gets done.

[01:07:53] Everything in there.

[01:07:54] Do you think that Charles would lend me his crown and his thing for this event?

[01:07:59] Um, I'm trying to think how, hold on a minute.

[01:08:01] I think yes.

[01:08:03] And here's how, and I know I'm going back to an original idea.

[01:08:06] I'd give it back.

[01:08:07] Yeah.

[01:08:08] Eventually.

[01:08:09] Maybe.

[01:08:09] I have an idea and I brought this up earlier and I think you said, no, we go a different

[01:08:13] way, but I think you could easily do that because do you know the way we said how you

[01:08:16] needed, you needed to get, not needed to get more friends, but it'd be nice to get

[01:08:20] more friendly allies around the world.

[01:08:21] Right.

[01:08:22] So because you have Mexico definitely in, and a lot of people are happy with the toilet

[01:08:25] paper, but if you invested some money in Aston Villa and I say Aston Villa football

[01:08:30] club, because I believe they are the team that Prince William supports.

[01:08:36] So if you throw in a bit of money for them, they can buy a new goalkeeper or something.

[01:08:40] And you say to him, listen, if you can hand me out there to.

[01:08:43] Carnation Scepter and Crown and stuff.

[01:08:45] He'll be like, oh, sure.

[01:08:46] You've done brilliant.

[01:08:47] You know, the thing is I'm looking at this and I'm going to tell him I'm going to get

[01:08:50] it back, but I just looked it up.

[01:08:52] The Crown Jewels, the Crown, the Crown Jewels, all that stuff together is worth between three

[01:08:58] and six billion dollars.

[01:08:59] Really?

[01:09:00] Apparently.

[01:09:00] What?

[01:09:01] How?

[01:09:01] Why?

[01:09:02] What's it like?

[01:09:02] British Crown.

[01:09:03] The British Crown Jewels are considered priceless due to their cultural historical value.

[01:09:07] The Crown has no intention of selling them.

[01:09:08] However, we're actually estimated to make their value between three and six billion dollars.

[01:09:11] There are a hundred objects with over twenty three thousand gemstones kept in the Tower

[01:09:14] of London.

[01:09:15] So I would sell them.

[01:09:17] Oh, but what?

[01:09:18] You don't need the money.

[01:09:19] I thought you said that I did.

[01:09:20] I thought we were broke.

[01:09:21] Oh, wait.

[01:09:22] Yes.

[01:09:22] Yes, I did.

[01:09:23] Oh, so you're just going to take them and sell them.

[01:09:25] Yeah.

[01:09:26] Ah, fair enough.

[01:09:26] Sell them.

[01:09:27] eBay.

[01:09:28] Oh, I thought you'd go for like Narcrea guy.

[01:09:30] You think he's going to go for it?

[01:09:31] I think he would just for the ha ha ha.

[01:09:34] Because although then he'd get to show you with it, wouldn't he?

[01:09:36] He didn't.

[01:09:37] He didn't have any money.

[01:09:38] But he'd be not borrowing.

[01:09:40] Wait a minute, though.

[01:09:41] I just sell them back to the.

[01:09:42] I can just sell them back to the king.

[01:09:43] Yeah.

[01:09:43] Problem solved.

[01:09:44] Done.

[01:09:44] Problem solved.

[01:09:44] OK.

[01:09:45] Yeah.

[01:09:45] Yeah.

[01:09:45] Yeah.

[01:09:45] And you'll have time to do the whole ceremony with the big statue and.

[01:09:49] Yeah.

[01:09:50] You'll get everything.

[01:09:51] Two.

[01:09:52] I won't tell him that I'm selling them back to him.

[01:09:54] I'll tell him that that's the transportation cost.

[01:09:56] Ah, yes.

[01:09:57] It's stuck at customs and you have to pay whatever you want.

[01:10:00] Yeah.

[01:10:01] Yeah.

[01:10:01] Yeah.

[01:10:01] Yeah.

[01:10:02] If you go a three billion instead of six, because I'm sure someone will tell him back

[01:10:05] in Buckingham.

[01:10:06] Oh, these are worth six billion.

[01:10:08] And it just so happens that the benevolent leader or dictator is is looking for six billion.

[01:10:12] He's trying to ransom them.

[01:10:14] But if you only say three billion or four billion.

[01:10:16] Yeah, exactly.

[01:10:17] He'll just think, oh, it must be.

[01:10:18] Yeah.

[01:10:19] He wouldn't know.

[01:10:19] He's not going to care.

[01:10:20] Three billion to those people is nothing.

[01:10:22] Yeah.

[01:10:22] And he's been in a life of luxury.

[01:10:23] He won't understand the cost of custom duties.

[01:10:26] Yeah.

[01:10:26] Or transportation fee.

[01:10:27] OK.

[01:10:28] Very good.

[01:10:30] But nothing bad has happened your entire reign, which I knew it wouldn't.

[01:10:34] Benevolent dictator.

[01:10:36] The final question I have to ask is, do you at some point in time, you have to either consider

[01:10:41] that you're giving up the tyranny.

[01:10:44] But will you think of who your heir is?

[01:10:46] Like who's going to take over?

[01:10:48] I'll just live forever.

[01:10:49] Oh, are you planning on immortality?

[01:10:51] Yeah.

[01:10:51] Oh, OK.

[01:10:52] OK.

[01:10:53] Is there any side effects to immortality?

[01:10:55] Not for me.

[01:10:56] Wait, for who else?

[01:10:57] Well, for other people, because their loved ones will die and stuff like that.

[01:11:00] That's sad.

[01:11:01] But for you, you have.

[01:11:02] No, I'll just get new people.

[01:11:03] It's fine.

[01:11:04] Oh, OK.

[01:11:04] So even when Paul is 91 and he's lived a long life.

[01:11:08] Yeah.

[01:11:08] And he comes to you going, knock.

[01:11:09] I won't be sad about Paul.

[01:11:11] Knock.

[01:11:11] Knock.

[01:11:11] You'll get a statue.

[01:11:13] Knock.

[01:11:14] Knock.

[01:11:14] Yeah.

[01:11:16] Hello, Justin, my old friend.

[01:11:18] My young friend, I should say.

[01:11:19] You look wonderful.

[01:11:20] Thank you.

[01:11:22] 91.

[01:11:23] My wife has died.

[01:11:25] She died 50 years ago, but we won't talk about it.

[01:11:28] You're just telling me now.

[01:11:29] Sorry.

[01:11:31] Sorry.

[01:11:32] I'm forgetful.

[01:11:32] I get it.

[01:11:33] You were busy.

[01:11:34] I'm forgetful.

[01:11:35] Every time I saw you, I was distracted by the dazzling blue eyes.

[01:11:38] Are they blue?

[01:11:39] They're green.

[01:11:40] Green eyes.

[01:11:41] Blue, green.

[01:11:41] It's all the same to me.

[01:11:42] I'm colourblind.

[01:11:44] But the thing is, I'm on the way out.

[01:11:47] I can sense it.

[01:11:48] Any chance I could be immortal too?

[01:11:50] I know it's a big ask.

[01:11:51] I wouldn't ask someone.

[01:11:52] You sure that's what you want?

[01:11:53] I want to worship you forever.

[01:11:55] Handsome.

[01:11:56] Yes.

[01:11:59] Paul is immortal.

[01:12:00] This is wonderful.

[01:12:01] You and me, Paul.

[01:12:03] Yes.

[01:12:03] By the way, you're now vice chancellor.

[01:12:05] Oh, fucking hell.

[01:12:06] This is the great.

[01:12:07] I'm so happy for Paul.

[01:12:09] Okay.

[01:12:10] So you're living forever with Paul by your side.

[01:12:12] Yeah.

[01:12:13] By the way.

[01:12:13] I guess so.

[01:12:14] I forgot to ask this.

[01:12:15] When you started this island, did your family come with you?

[01:12:18] Or was this like, I'm doing this on my own?

[01:12:21] Myself.

[01:12:22] You did this by yourself.

[01:12:23] That's fine.

[01:12:23] Yeah.

[01:12:24] Can I ask him one other question?

[01:12:25] Yeah.

[01:12:26] Do you and Paul get together?

[01:12:27] Not like that.

[01:12:28] Okay.

[01:12:28] Just wondering.

[01:12:29] Just wondering.

[01:12:30] There'd be nothing wrong if we did.

[01:12:32] But it's purely friendship and mutual respect.

[01:12:36] It became a friendship.

[01:12:37] But at the end of the day, look, it's a friendship.

[01:12:39] But at the end of the day, he's still my subject.

[01:12:41] Yeah.

[01:12:42] And if he steps out of line, he'll die.

[01:12:44] Naturally.

[01:12:44] But Paul will never step out of line.

[01:12:48] He will.

[01:12:49] And I think if he did, he would willingly jump off that cliff.

[01:12:51] But that is the end of Justin Sylvania.

[01:12:56] Nothing bad has ever happened there.

[01:12:58] And nothing ever will.

[01:13:00] Justin, thank you.

[01:13:00] I'm not calling you a benevolent dictator anymore.

[01:13:03] That has ran its passion.

[01:13:04] Well, that's off the cliff you go.

[01:13:06] Yeah.

[01:13:08] Thankfully, Ireland is a flat country.

[01:13:10] I have to ask you, where do people find you online?

[01:13:13] So you can find me.

[01:13:14] The easiest way to get to all my socials is justinontiktok.com.

[01:13:18] But on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, they all have the same name.

[01:13:22] Although I am working on possibly doing a rebranding name change.

[01:13:26] But that website will still be up.

[01:13:28] So if that happens and you're listening to this later,

[01:13:29] you can find it there.

[01:13:31] Good.

[01:13:32] And you're doing YouTube recording later today?

[01:13:36] Probably, yeah.

[01:13:37] Yeah.

[01:13:38] Coolio.

[01:13:39] I have to thank everyone for listening.

[01:13:42] And yeah, you can find this podcast where you find podcasts,

[01:13:45] Tarant and Training.

[01:13:45] Okay.

[01:13:46] And before I go, the last thing I have to ask is,

[01:13:49] would you have any advice for people before you become immortal

[01:13:51] and then shut yourself away for a life of Paul?

[01:13:53] Any words of advice for people to live by?

[01:13:55] Well, in my country, it would be work as hard as you can

[01:14:00] and be good to your benevolent dictator and you'll be rewarded.

[01:14:04] Oh, but outside your country, you wouldn't advise people to work.

[01:14:08] No, you have to work outside your country because that's...

[01:14:12] I would advise people who lived outside the country to come to my country

[01:14:15] where they could be well taken care of.

[01:14:16] Right.

[01:14:17] Yeah, that was a nice way.

[01:14:18] Or are we trying to do serious advice?

[01:14:20] Because if we're trying to do serious advice...

[01:14:21] No, no, no.

[01:14:22] It's not that sort of podcast.

[01:14:24] Okay.

[01:14:24] Bye, everyone.

[01:14:25] Bye.

[01:14:25] Bye.

[01:14:25] Bye.

[01:14:26] Bye.