This week's tyrant is Irish comedian Paul Marsh, sharing his rules for a justice system based on Judge Dredd rules, eating pasta off of radiators and line between people being sound - odd - cracked or strange
At this link you can find Paul's socials, including his podcast Filmedy, with himself and fellow comedians talking movies:
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00:00:11 --> 00:00:13 Hello, welcome to the Tyrant in Training show.
00:00:13 --> 00:00:17 It is Kebby Valvert. It's actually Kevin. That's
00:00:17 --> 00:00:19 the voice of Celine, who is my fiancee. This
00:00:19 --> 00:00:22 podcast is an improv comedy power fantasy podcast,
00:00:22 --> 00:00:24 which means every week I talk to a new guest
00:00:24 --> 00:00:26 asking them what sort of perfect island they
00:00:26 --> 00:00:28 would build to rule over as a tyrant. To give
00:00:28 --> 00:00:31 you an example, I've asked Celine to join me
00:00:31 --> 00:00:33 to answer one question on her own island that
00:00:33 --> 00:00:35 I would naturally be following you because I
00:00:35 --> 00:00:38 love you. I want to ask you, what Monday and
00:00:38 --> 00:00:43 everyday item would you ban? Oh, I would ban.
00:00:45 --> 00:00:48 I mean, toilet brushes came to mind, but I don't
00:00:48 --> 00:00:51 say toilet paper. I don't. I don't actually want
00:00:51 --> 00:00:53 to ban them. I think they're very useful. Yeah.
00:00:53 --> 00:00:55 Yeah. So, yeah, no. OK, not they're fine. They're
00:00:55 --> 00:00:58 in. They're in. Yeah. I just go through a list
00:00:58 --> 00:01:01 of things that I want. No, you want a toilet
00:01:01 --> 00:01:07 brush. Christmas is coming up. OK. Don't get
00:01:07 --> 00:01:09 me a toilet brush for Christmas, please. Explain
00:01:09 --> 00:01:11 the podcast premise. I'm so sorry. What do you
00:01:11 --> 00:01:20 want to ban on your island? I would ban hair
00:01:20 --> 00:01:24 clips that aren't strong enough for hair. So
00:01:24 --> 00:01:27 weak hair clips. Yeah. So there'd be regulations.
00:01:27 --> 00:01:30 Yes. Sometimes you buy one and you're like, it's
00:01:30 --> 00:01:34 actually not, it can't control. My main. OK,
00:01:34 --> 00:01:38 how whimsical. There we go. There you go. This
00:01:38 --> 00:01:41 is also a helpful podcast. But I want to also
00:01:41 --> 00:01:43 mention today's guest, who is Irish comedian
00:01:43 --> 00:01:46 Paul Maert. And I want to play some out of context
00:01:46 --> 00:01:49 quotes regarding Paul's Perfect Island. The idea
00:01:49 --> 00:01:52 of me being a tyrant is just heaven could pass
00:01:52 --> 00:01:54 on the radiators would be grand. Seeing something
00:01:54 --> 00:01:56 happening and just say, right, you're in jail
00:01:56 --> 00:01:59 for two days. Good luck. Limerick is a lot like
00:01:59 --> 00:02:02 sex. And I can't be manipulated. Pour some sugar
00:02:02 --> 00:02:05 on me. That is President Paul of Marsha Palooza
00:02:05 --> 00:02:08 describing Limerick as sex. He's right about
00:02:08 --> 00:02:10 Limerick now. He's fully right. You haven't left
00:02:10 --> 00:02:15 in 13 years. So you can find this podcast on
00:02:15 --> 00:02:18 all podcast platforms and the website TyringtonTraining
00:02:18 --> 00:02:23 and on Blue Sky and TikTok and Instagram and
00:02:23 --> 00:02:25 YouTube. If you look for a time to training podcast.
00:02:27 --> 00:02:28 And yeah, here is Paul. By the way, before we
00:02:28 --> 00:02:30 go, I have to ask you about this. Toilet brushes.
00:02:31 --> 00:02:38 What? Yeah. Do you want to regulate them in any
00:02:38 --> 00:02:42 way? They all have to be good. What's good about,
00:02:42 --> 00:02:45 what good? I don't know, like a sturdy, strong
00:02:45 --> 00:02:51 one that'll. Take, take, go on. Work really well.
00:02:51 --> 00:02:54 To remove any. I don't want to continue this.
00:02:54 --> 00:02:56 OK, we're getting into the podcast. Thank you
00:02:56 --> 00:03:10 very much for listening. Here's Paul. I've never
00:03:10 --> 00:03:12 asked someone this. Do you have any like great
00:03:12 --> 00:03:15 like what you want to accomplish with your own
00:03:15 --> 00:03:19 country? Not really. When you asked me about
00:03:19 --> 00:03:21 this podcast that I was listening to, I listened
00:03:21 --> 00:03:24 to a few of them. My mind started to go. I was
00:03:24 --> 00:03:26 actually my first thought was when you're in
00:03:26 --> 00:03:30 your 50s, this is heaven because we are people
00:03:30 --> 00:03:34 in their 50s complain about, you know, 50s is
00:03:34 --> 00:03:37 kind of like first year old person. You know
00:03:37 --> 00:03:39 what I mean? Right. Just getting into that frame
00:03:39 --> 00:03:41 of thinking. Yeah. Just started with that kind
00:03:41 --> 00:03:44 of giving out and the world is a terrible place
00:03:44 --> 00:03:45 and fucking young people have it around. And,
00:03:45 --> 00:03:49 you know, yeah. So the idea of me being a tyrant
00:03:49 --> 00:03:52 is just. right up my alley now at the moment.
00:03:52 --> 00:03:55 Oh, you can definitely come up with some speeches
00:03:55 --> 00:03:57 like... I actually wrote down because I was coming
00:03:57 --> 00:03:59 up in Tipperary the other day and I wrote down
00:03:59 --> 00:04:01 that I had this idea years ago and I just thought
00:04:01 --> 00:04:04 that the whole Judge Dredd thing is a great idea.
00:04:05 --> 00:04:07 It's just done badly in the movies where you
00:04:07 --> 00:04:10 get just one person to be... a guard and a judge
00:04:10 --> 00:04:13 and everything. And he just decides. But you'd
00:04:13 --> 00:04:15 have to be very careful. You'd have to do like,
00:04:15 --> 00:04:17 you know, loads of interviews and you can't just
00:04:17 --> 00:04:19 waltz into the job. It has to be like psychologists
00:04:19 --> 00:04:21 and all checking you out. But if they think you're
00:04:21 --> 00:04:23 like a really sound person who could go around
00:04:23 --> 00:04:25 just, you know, judging people and sorting it
00:04:25 --> 00:04:27 all out. No courts, no folk and any of that.
00:04:28 --> 00:04:30 Just seeing something happening and just say,
00:04:30 --> 00:04:31 right, you're in jail for two days. Good luck.
00:04:33 --> 00:04:35 We haven't even set up your country. You're already
00:04:35 --> 00:04:39 administering justice. We started off just immediately.
00:04:40 --> 00:04:43 But the reason I'm saying this is because this
00:04:43 --> 00:04:45 is my thing. When you said that, that was my
00:04:45 --> 00:04:46 first thought. And when I was driving off in
00:04:46 --> 00:04:48 Tipperary the other day, a car in front of me
00:04:48 --> 00:04:51 went into the express lane and then realized
00:04:51 --> 00:04:54 they had no change. And I was like, in my head
00:04:54 --> 00:04:57 I was gone. prison for, in my world, prison for
00:04:57 --> 00:05:00 two days. That is one of the worst things you
00:05:00 --> 00:05:02 can do. It's literally called the express lane.
00:05:02 --> 00:05:05 You know, anyway, you start up. That person's
00:05:05 --> 00:05:07 gone. Okay. Okay. I love it. I will come back
00:05:07 --> 00:05:10 to the Judge Red stuff because I want to know
00:05:10 --> 00:05:12 more, but I will set up this country proper and
00:05:12 --> 00:05:14 then we'll get into it. So I'm going to have
00:05:14 --> 00:05:16 to have to pull out here. The Google maps. I'm
00:05:16 --> 00:05:19 going to show you a map of the world because
00:05:19 --> 00:05:20 I want to find out where you want your island.
00:05:20 --> 00:05:23 It's usually kind of more of a, like what sort
00:05:23 --> 00:05:24 of weather you want to live in. So here's a map
00:05:24 --> 00:05:26 of the world. Here are some dots where everyone
00:05:26 --> 00:05:28 has placed their islands. Where would you like
00:05:28 --> 00:05:29 to stay? Would you want to be close to Ireland?
00:05:30 --> 00:05:34 I would think close to Ireland because I'm not
00:05:34 --> 00:05:37 a sun worshipper. Like I mentioned to you earlier
00:05:37 --> 00:05:41 off the screen, I went to the cinema when I was
00:05:41 --> 00:05:42 on my holidays and my wife thought it was madness.
00:05:43 --> 00:05:46 But I would probably put it down at the bottom.
00:05:47 --> 00:05:49 I like Kerry and Cork and that Nick in the Woods.
00:05:49 --> 00:05:52 Is that not where all the Carragh gas stuff is?
00:05:53 --> 00:06:00 Down there, I think it's up higher. Where do
00:06:00 --> 00:06:04 you want to go? Around there. We're within distance
00:06:04 --> 00:06:07 in the mainland, but not too close. Right, we'll
00:06:07 --> 00:06:10 put you around here. Ireland has a couple of
00:06:10 --> 00:06:12 million people. How many people do you want on
00:06:12 --> 00:06:14 your island? You'd have to. I heard other people
00:06:14 --> 00:06:16 talk about this and I think you'd have to have
00:06:16 --> 00:06:18 it manageable. I think, you know, you'd want
00:06:18 --> 00:06:20 to have it. I would like like the idea that my
00:06:20 --> 00:06:22 country is a place that people want to go live
00:06:22 --> 00:06:24 in. And I think like, oh, geez, I'd love to live
00:06:24 --> 00:06:27 there someday. Yeah. So I keep it at about a
00:06:27 --> 00:06:29 quarter of a million. I think only a quarter
00:06:29 --> 00:06:30 of a million. That's only a quarter of a million.
00:06:31 --> 00:06:33 It's it's it's very sought after type of place.
00:06:33 --> 00:06:36 Just, you know, it's exclusive. Yeah. Yeah. And
00:06:36 --> 00:06:38 I'd like to think that the mainland would just
00:06:38 --> 00:06:40 start copying all my stuff, you know. Ireland,
00:06:40 --> 00:06:42 when you say the mainland, they'll start copying
00:06:42 --> 00:06:45 it. It's nice to refer to Ireland as the mainland,
00:06:45 --> 00:06:47 isn't it? The mainland. That's what you people
00:06:47 --> 00:06:50 call it on your island. OK. I used to work with
00:06:50 --> 00:06:53 a guy who was from England and he used to refer
00:06:53 --> 00:06:55 to England as the mainland. And I was like, have
00:06:55 --> 00:06:59 you seen a map? He has an old map. So you have
00:06:59 --> 00:07:01 a quarter of a million people there. They sound
00:07:01 --> 00:07:06 a bit snobby, if I'm honest. As I'm saying about
00:07:06 --> 00:07:07 now, it probably does. It probably should have
00:07:07 --> 00:07:09 gone about half a million. Do you want to lay
00:07:09 --> 00:07:11 down an extra half? Yeah, go on. We'll make it
00:07:11 --> 00:07:13 a half million. That's fine. We'll go for a half
00:07:13 --> 00:07:17 million. It's one tenth of Ireland. Yeah. On
00:07:17 --> 00:07:18 your island. Wait, I should say on your island.
00:07:19 --> 00:07:20 What do you want to call your island? Do you
00:07:20 --> 00:07:23 want to name it after yourself? Myself and my
00:07:23 --> 00:07:26 family have this thing every year that we all
00:07:26 --> 00:07:29 try and meet up once to play games and have a
00:07:29 --> 00:07:31 game stay. I have seven nephews and three nieces
00:07:31 --> 00:07:35 and we call it Marsha Palooza. So I think...
00:07:35 --> 00:07:38 Marsha Palooza? Marsha Palooza, I think is what
00:07:38 --> 00:07:41 I would call her. Yeah, here's the thing I have
00:07:41 --> 00:07:44 to ask about that. You say about playing games.
00:07:44 --> 00:07:46 Do you have any trophies or anything like that?
00:07:46 --> 00:07:48 No, I tell you what it was. How it came about
00:07:48 --> 00:07:50 was so I have seven nephews and when they were
00:07:50 --> 00:07:52 all younger, they were all in around the same
00:07:52 --> 00:07:55 age. We say about three or four years. I was
00:07:55 --> 00:07:59 the cool uncle. I was the firefighter in Dublin
00:07:59 --> 00:08:01 who came home and played games. I used to bring
00:08:01 --> 00:08:03 him down to a forest near where we live, about
00:08:03 --> 00:08:07 three miles from us. The Galaty Mountains, basically.
00:08:08 --> 00:08:11 So we used to play 52 Bonkers, which is a...
00:08:11 --> 00:08:14 Oh, fantastic. 45, 40, 40, I think they call
00:08:14 --> 00:08:16 it. People have different names on it. That's
00:08:16 --> 00:08:19 the original. But take it really seriously. We're
00:08:19 --> 00:08:23 the lads of Gough and Hyde. Every game took an
00:08:23 --> 00:08:26 hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then one
00:08:26 --> 00:08:28 of my nephews, Richard, when he was 21, my sister
00:08:28 --> 00:08:29 was asking him, what did you want to do? Do you
00:08:29 --> 00:08:30 want to have a birthday party? Do you want to
00:08:30 --> 00:08:32 have this, whatever? And they're all like, at
00:08:32 --> 00:08:35 this stage, they're all in their 20s. And years
00:08:35 --> 00:08:37 later, and he said, no, he didn't want to have
00:08:37 --> 00:08:40 a party. But he goes, what he would love to do
00:08:40 --> 00:08:43 is have another game just for nostalgia of 52
00:08:43 --> 00:08:47 Bonkers. So for his 21st, we all came down and
00:08:47 --> 00:08:50 we played 52 Bonkers. And my sister who was,
00:08:50 --> 00:08:52 one of my sisters was like in her 50s at this
00:08:52 --> 00:08:56 stage. And we just decided, look, screw this.
00:08:56 --> 00:08:58 We had a fucking brilliant day. There's no age
00:08:58 --> 00:09:01 limit to this. Let's do it every year. So we
00:09:01 --> 00:09:05 play 52 Bonkers. And my brother has a house down
00:09:05 --> 00:09:08 there. We have a barbecue. And yeah, so that's
00:09:08 --> 00:09:10 our Marsha Palooza. We didn't actually have it
00:09:10 --> 00:09:14 this year. So we're having 2026 to be back on.
00:09:15 --> 00:09:19 What month is that on? And I'll tell you another
00:09:19 --> 00:09:23 thing. My sister was in town one day. and was
00:09:23 --> 00:09:27 passing this army surplus and saw a jacket, a
00:09:27 --> 00:09:30 camouflage jacket for 10 euros. I went in and
00:09:30 --> 00:09:33 bought it just specifically. How bad is that?
00:09:34 --> 00:09:37 She's a very fashionable woman normally. But
00:09:37 --> 00:09:39 she was like, I'm getting that for 52 bonkers.
00:09:39 --> 00:09:41 I just thought that was hilarious. Wait, has
00:09:41 --> 00:09:45 she used that yet? No, not yet. No, it's in store.
00:09:45 --> 00:09:47 It was in 2026. She's going to be unveiling that.
00:09:48 --> 00:09:49 She made the mistake of coming down wearing pink
00:09:49 --> 00:09:51 one year, and that was the end. You could just
00:09:51 --> 00:09:52 spot her a mile away. That's a rookie, Manu.
00:09:53 --> 00:09:55 Yeah, that's a terrible idea. OK, it's hardly
00:09:55 --> 00:09:57 on your list of to -do things, but keep me informed
00:09:57 --> 00:10:02 on how that jacket goes. I'm 37. I would gladly
00:10:02 --> 00:10:05 run out there and play 52 Bonkers. OK, so Marcia
00:10:05 --> 00:10:10 Palooza is a party island already. What would
00:10:10 --> 00:10:12 you like to be known as? Your official title?
00:10:12 --> 00:10:14 Would you like to be King of Marshal Palooza
00:10:14 --> 00:10:17 or? Oh, I don't like the King thing. President,
00:10:17 --> 00:10:19 I suppose would be. You just want to go president.
00:10:19 --> 00:10:21 Yeah, it's in the news a lot later at the moment.
00:10:21 --> 00:10:24 So, yeah, president chair and a casual president
00:10:24 --> 00:10:26 like the one we have here. President Paul or
00:10:26 --> 00:10:29 President President. President Paul, I would
00:10:29 --> 00:10:32 say. Yeah. OK, people may call you PP for short.
00:10:32 --> 00:10:34 Is that OK? Yeah, that's OK. No problem. No problem
00:10:34 --> 00:10:40 with that. OK. It's just a reminder for you,
00:10:40 --> 00:10:44 to be honest. OK, so we have President Paul.
00:10:44 --> 00:10:46 I have that saved there. President Paul. And
00:10:46 --> 00:10:48 I'll put in the name there later. And it's just
00:10:48 --> 00:10:50 there. And you have loads of room outside, you
00:10:50 --> 00:10:53 know, with half a million people. Right. Right.
00:10:53 --> 00:10:56 I do have to ask which. your island there's two
00:10:56 --> 00:10:58 options here and either way your people are going
00:10:58 --> 00:11:00 to be happy right they don't they came to this
00:11:00 --> 00:11:02 island because they like it would you let the
00:11:02 --> 00:11:05 people vote for like a hundred senators they'll
00:11:05 --> 00:11:07 take over the everyday boring ad many parts of
00:11:07 --> 00:11:09 ruling the country or would you say to them look
00:11:09 --> 00:11:12 there's no voting you'll pick 10 people that
00:11:12 --> 00:11:14 you trust and they'll do the everyday boring
00:11:14 --> 00:11:16 part is it like do you want democracy or not
00:11:17 --> 00:11:19 Yeah, I would say, by the way, you have, you
00:11:19 --> 00:11:21 know, whatever you say goes. See, I always think
00:11:21 --> 00:11:23 if you're going to go at it, go at it. Like if
00:11:23 --> 00:11:25 I am going to be like a tyrant and take over,
00:11:25 --> 00:11:27 I would I go with 10. Right. Just trust me. Yeah.
00:11:28 --> 00:11:30 Do it right. And there's always room. There's
00:11:30 --> 00:11:32 always room for manipulation. I just think, you
00:11:32 --> 00:11:34 know. Yeah. No, no. Don't complicate it. And
00:11:34 --> 00:11:35 the people who are there are just going to be
00:11:35 --> 00:11:38 like, well, we voted for PP. We're getting PP.
00:11:38 --> 00:11:40 And that joke is kind of gone now. President
00:11:40 --> 00:11:43 Paul, I've I've mined that as much as I'm willing.
00:11:44 --> 00:11:46 And yeah. So they're going to be happy with that,
00:11:46 --> 00:11:47 right? They have no vote. They're going to be
00:11:47 --> 00:11:49 happy, yeah. I just want to make that clear.
00:11:49 --> 00:11:51 Paul Mares, no voting. I think when you're from
00:11:51 --> 00:11:54 the country, like I'm from Tipperary and I moved
00:11:54 --> 00:11:58 to Dublin when I was 19, you see both sides of
00:11:58 --> 00:12:00 politics in Ireland. I think, you know, from
00:12:00 --> 00:12:03 the city to the local. The dubs slag off the
00:12:03 --> 00:12:05 local elections. They slag off the likes of the
00:12:05 --> 00:12:07 Healy Rays and then the Healy Rays slag off the
00:12:07 --> 00:12:09 likes of Bertie Hearn. Yeah. You see it from
00:12:09 --> 00:12:12 both angles. The whole thing is just there to
00:12:12 --> 00:12:14 be manipulated. And I think just... Get rid of
00:12:14 --> 00:12:18 that. Bypass all that. Get rid of that. I can't
00:12:18 --> 00:12:21 be manipulated. I'll put that out. That's in
00:12:21 --> 00:12:24 a quote. That's my logo. That's your logo. I
00:12:24 --> 00:12:26 can't be manipulated. By the way, I should mention
00:12:26 --> 00:12:28 as well, I'm from Tipperary as well. I'm actually
00:12:28 --> 00:12:30 from Newport. Oh, are you? All right. Down the
00:12:30 --> 00:12:34 other end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Jesus. Someone
00:12:34 --> 00:12:38 asked me. The lads were down in Neenah. They
00:12:38 --> 00:12:39 were playing golf or something. I came up to
00:12:39 --> 00:12:41 meet them on the second night and they said,
00:12:41 --> 00:12:43 oh, handy for you. You're just down the road.
00:12:43 --> 00:12:46 It was like 63 miles down the road. Yeah. No,
00:12:46 --> 00:12:48 that's it. It's funny. I think the only person
00:12:48 --> 00:12:51 I interviewed from TIP as well is Newell's, who
00:12:51 --> 00:12:54 has a podcast called Ireland Crimes and Mysteries.
00:12:55 --> 00:12:57 And she's from, I think, either Cashel or Clonmel,
00:12:57 --> 00:12:59 somewhere around there. I don't know, maybe.
00:12:59 --> 00:13:01 Yeah. Could be Tarlas. But yeah, it's just funny
00:13:01 --> 00:13:03 when... when someone else said it to me. She's
00:13:03 --> 00:13:06 lovely. She's very nice. Sorry, what's the name
00:13:06 --> 00:13:08 of the podcast I've got to check it out? Ireland
00:13:08 --> 00:13:10 Crimes and Mysteries. Oh, lovely. Great. I'm
00:13:10 --> 00:13:14 podcast mad at the moment. Really? Yeah. I don't
00:13:14 --> 00:13:16 normally have nice cars, but I have a car at
00:13:16 --> 00:13:18 the moment, one day over. It's one of those ones
00:13:18 --> 00:13:20 that when you get out, it stops. And then when
00:13:20 --> 00:13:23 you come back in, it starts again. It starts
00:13:23 --> 00:13:26 up again. I love that. Yeah, that's very futuristic.
00:13:27 --> 00:13:30 That has really boosted my podcast listening
00:13:30 --> 00:13:31 abilities because there's not much when you go
00:13:31 --> 00:13:33 back and go, oh, where was I again on this bloody
00:13:33 --> 00:13:36 thing? You know what I mean? Now I just in and
00:13:36 --> 00:13:38 out to work everyday podcast, podcast, podcast.
00:13:38 --> 00:13:41 So I'm catching up with old ones that I haven't.
00:13:41 --> 00:13:43 But few people have said like, oh, you're in
00:13:43 --> 00:13:45 the same county. I was like, yeah, but I'm like,
00:13:46 --> 00:13:48 Limerick is closer to me. Like, that's a five
00:13:48 --> 00:13:51 minute drive. Yeah. And that is an hour. an hour
00:13:51 --> 00:13:54 and it's not, yeah, that's it. It's, it's one
00:13:54 --> 00:13:55 of the, but it's the way it's kind of put in
00:13:55 --> 00:13:58 there. It's kind of deceiving. Yeah. How are
00:13:58 --> 00:14:01 you? How I got my nephew or my nephew, my little
00:14:01 --> 00:14:04 fella, he's 10. He got a map of Ireland. That's
00:14:04 --> 00:14:08 a jigsaw and every county is independent. You
00:14:08 --> 00:14:10 actually take Tipperary out by itself. You look
00:14:10 --> 00:14:12 at it and go, this is a, it's like Cuba, you
00:14:12 --> 00:14:14 know, the country, Cuba people, if you put Cuba,
00:14:15 --> 00:14:17 If you Google, if you want to know, say, put
00:14:17 --> 00:14:19 Cuba into Europe. I'm going to literally Google,
00:14:19 --> 00:14:23 put Cuba into Europe. And it goes from Norway
00:14:23 --> 00:14:26 down to Spain, I think. All right. OK. What if
00:14:26 --> 00:14:28 Cuba, no, wait, no. I'll say you have to go images,
00:14:28 --> 00:14:31 go into images. This is why this podcast just
00:14:31 --> 00:14:34 goes off topic. Oh, wait, is that it? I heard
00:14:34 --> 00:14:36 this already. Oh, hold on a minute. This is Cuba,
00:14:37 --> 00:14:40 just, I mean, it's a bit slim, but it... If you
00:14:40 --> 00:14:42 do the other way across Europe, it goes down
00:14:42 --> 00:14:46 from Norway. Oh, I mean, it does show you here
00:14:46 --> 00:14:49 with North America, like it just reaches up the
00:14:49 --> 00:14:51 entire of the western or the western side of
00:14:51 --> 00:14:54 North America. Like it is massive compared to
00:14:54 --> 00:14:56 what you think. I can't find that picture that
00:14:56 --> 00:14:59 I saw before, but it goes like it goes from the
00:14:59 --> 00:15:01 end of Scandinavia down to Spain. It's like it's
00:15:01 --> 00:15:04 a huge. Yeah, look, it looks wide. I was going
00:15:04 --> 00:15:07 to say, like it's it's slim, but it's it reaches
00:15:07 --> 00:15:10 across. I have a kind of an obsession with with
00:15:10 --> 00:15:12 countries. And I thought if I got a big map.
00:15:13 --> 00:15:15 my little fella that he would learn whenever
00:15:15 --> 00:15:19 we discuss anything. Yeah. I go on a show, show
00:15:19 --> 00:15:21 him where it is in the map. No, sorry. It's not
00:15:21 --> 00:15:24 Cuba. It's not Cuba. It's Chile. I'm making a
00:15:24 --> 00:15:26 fucking it's Chile. Sorry. Sorry. Right. Okay.
00:15:27 --> 00:15:29 I'm going to do that. I was like, I'm getting
00:15:29 --> 00:15:30 something wrong here. I'm getting something wrong
00:15:30 --> 00:15:34 to put Chile into Europe. Oh Jesus. Okay. Yeah.
00:15:34 --> 00:15:36 No, you're right. Okay. Thank God you didn't
00:15:36 --> 00:15:41 say it. Oh no. I meant Russia. For someone who's
00:15:41 --> 00:15:43 starting up their own country that doesn't fucking
00:15:43 --> 00:15:44 know about other countries, it's not going to
00:15:44 --> 00:15:47 look good. Many world leaders don't know about
00:15:47 --> 00:15:49 other countries. There you go. Yeah, no, there
00:15:49 --> 00:15:51 you go. That's it there. That's just a big long,
00:15:51 --> 00:15:53 yeah, they're after dividing Europe in that map.
00:15:53 --> 00:15:57 But when you see it down the side of South America,
00:15:57 --> 00:16:00 it just kind of fits in. That's the Tipperary.
00:16:00 --> 00:16:02 I think Chile is the Tipperary of the world.
00:16:03 --> 00:16:06 Chile is the Tipperary of the world. Yeah, that
00:16:06 --> 00:16:08 works. Yeah, you don't realise how big it is.
00:16:09 --> 00:16:11 As they say about many men from Tipperary as
00:16:11 --> 00:16:15 well. Yes, that is very true. I tell you what,
00:16:16 --> 00:16:19 waste your island called Marshal Palooza. Do
00:16:19 --> 00:16:21 you, how do you, what type of house do you want?
00:16:21 --> 00:16:24 Do you want a mansion, a castle? Oh, you know
00:16:24 --> 00:16:26 I saw this thing in Denmark recent, is it Denmark?
00:16:26 --> 00:16:28 Some Scandinavian thing where they all have the
00:16:28 --> 00:16:31 communities in a circle. Do you see those? Do
00:16:31 --> 00:16:32 you mean the community, like the town itself
00:16:32 --> 00:16:34 or whatever is done out in a circle? No, all
00:16:34 --> 00:16:36 the housing estates are in a circle. I'll see
00:16:36 --> 00:16:38 if I can find that. I know I'm going off track
00:16:38 --> 00:16:41 here. No, no, no, no. This is exactly what this
00:16:41 --> 00:16:43 is. From what I gather, you like this anyway,
00:16:44 --> 00:16:46 so. Absolutely. Oh, Denmark's utopian garden.
00:16:47 --> 00:16:48 No, it just can't be it. I think it is Denmark,
00:16:49 --> 00:16:51 so. Circle city. That's it. I saw that and I
00:16:51 --> 00:16:53 thought, what a brilliant. Look at the line.
00:16:53 --> 00:16:55 You park your cars in the middle. Everyone has
00:16:55 --> 00:16:59 the same garden. Everyone has this, and you're
00:16:59 --> 00:17:01 so close to everyone. It's such a brilliant way
00:17:01 --> 00:17:03 of building a housing estate, I thought. Hang
00:17:03 --> 00:17:05 on a minute. You mentioned Judge Red earlier.
00:17:05 --> 00:17:06 So is there going to be, because they have mega
00:17:06 --> 00:17:10 tower one, mega tower two. Did you have mega
00:17:10 --> 00:17:13 circle? Maybe that's where I'm going. The reason
00:17:13 --> 00:17:15 I'm going there is because the house that I mentioned
00:17:15 --> 00:17:17 earlier on about us buying a four bedroom house,
00:17:18 --> 00:17:20 but it's a terrace house and we don't own the
00:17:20 --> 00:17:22 garden in front of, so I kind of have an obsession
00:17:22 --> 00:17:24 with gardens at the moment, you know. You don't
00:17:24 --> 00:17:26 really realise how lucky you are down in Limerick
00:17:26 --> 00:17:30 to have. We have a bit of a garden out the back.
00:17:30 --> 00:17:33 Well, the grass is just long. That's slowly going
00:17:33 --> 00:17:38 in Dublin. OK. So you want to be one house in
00:17:38 --> 00:17:42 this circle. In that circle, yeah. And then I
00:17:42 --> 00:17:44 would imagine that all the other circles would
00:17:44 --> 00:17:48 all be friends as well. They're your advisors,
00:17:48 --> 00:17:51 right? They're all... Yeah. Yeah, yeah. OK. Yeah,
00:17:51 --> 00:17:53 the ten advisors, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So you'll
00:17:53 --> 00:17:57 have whatever many, 11 or 12 houses there. Do
00:17:57 --> 00:17:59 you want anything fancy in your house? Do you
00:17:59 --> 00:18:02 want a throne or anything like that? No, no,
00:18:02 --> 00:18:05 none of that. You sure? Any fancy things? Swimming
00:18:05 --> 00:18:07 pool, basketball court, cinema, anything? No,
00:18:07 --> 00:18:09 I wouldn't. I don't want to stand out at all.
00:18:09 --> 00:18:12 Just the whole thing is that anyone can be president
00:18:12 --> 00:18:15 someday. When I'm gone. When you're gone. Yeah,
00:18:15 --> 00:18:18 we'll make that clear. Do you want any hand guards?
00:18:18 --> 00:18:20 or any of your judges around? I would hope that
00:18:20 --> 00:18:22 everyone would toe the line. I don't think so.
00:18:22 --> 00:18:24 I'd have a few. I've had a few judge dreads going
00:18:24 --> 00:18:27 away. Dread is not it's not a good name. I don't
00:18:27 --> 00:18:30 think it's good marketing. OK, yeah. The all
00:18:30 --> 00:18:32 rounder police, something I call them. The all
00:18:32 --> 00:18:36 rounder police. OK, they're going to be a guard
00:18:36 --> 00:18:40 who's a judge and a prison officer. Oh, he's
00:18:40 --> 00:18:42 going to put his hand on your shoulder and say,
00:18:42 --> 00:18:44 listen, I just saw you doing that that form.
00:18:44 --> 00:18:47 You're going to prison for two days up in my
00:18:47 --> 00:18:49 car. brings you around to the prison and goes,
00:18:49 --> 00:18:52 this guy let him out in two days. Oh, but he
00:18:52 --> 00:18:53 does not stay in there. Like he's not actually
00:18:53 --> 00:18:55 a prisoner. Oh, no, he's not going to keep you
00:18:55 --> 00:18:56 keep an eye on you. No, no, he's going to go
00:18:56 --> 00:18:58 back and find more people. You'll find more of
00:18:58 --> 00:19:00 them. OK, do they have do they have quotas to
00:19:00 --> 00:19:01 reach? Because I feel like they're just going
00:19:01 --> 00:19:03 out. No, no, no, no quotas or anything. That's
00:19:03 --> 00:19:05 the whole thing. They're going to go with a very
00:19:05 --> 00:19:07 stringent interview process. Yeah. So that they
00:19:07 --> 00:19:09 don't lose the run of themselves, because I think
00:19:09 --> 00:19:11 that would be the one thing that could happen
00:19:11 --> 00:19:14 here. But yeah, but they don't lose the run of
00:19:14 --> 00:19:16 themselves. And they're no one can sway them
00:19:16 --> 00:19:18 in any way. They can't go like, you know, get
00:19:18 --> 00:19:20 friendly with them. And I know I know a judge
00:19:20 --> 00:19:23 straighter. I know an all rounder. I know a word
00:19:23 --> 00:19:26 all rounder. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Yeah. You said there's
00:19:26 --> 00:19:30 a there's a very, very intense interview process.
00:19:30 --> 00:19:32 I would like to role play this out. I would like
00:19:32 --> 00:19:34 to knock on the door, sit down and say, hello,
00:19:34 --> 00:19:36 I'm here for this interview. What questions am
00:19:36 --> 00:19:38 I going to be asked? My first question would
00:19:38 --> 00:19:40 be. If you see a member of your family committing
00:19:40 --> 00:19:42 a crime, would you let them off? I'll shoot them.
00:19:42 --> 00:19:44 I'll shoot them immediately. Depending on the
00:19:44 --> 00:19:45 crime. Depending on the crime. There's no shooting.
00:19:46 --> 00:19:49 Everything involves prison. It's either be everything
00:19:49 --> 00:19:51 from a day. You can get a day in prison. Yeah.
00:19:51 --> 00:19:53 A week in prison if things are really bad. Yeah.
00:19:53 --> 00:19:57 If you're really, really bad. A month. But if
00:19:57 --> 00:19:58 you're talking like murder or something like
00:19:58 --> 00:20:00 that. OK. OK. Just yeah. No, you're gone. You're
00:20:00 --> 00:20:02 gone off Marshal Palooza at that stage. Right.
00:20:02 --> 00:20:04 OK. No. OK. I didn't realize the limits. OK.
00:20:05 --> 00:20:06 A month in prison for every single one of my
00:20:06 --> 00:20:08 family. I tell you that. Those people have been
00:20:08 --> 00:20:10 asking for it. Yeah, but you don't want them
00:20:10 --> 00:20:12 to go overboard either. You don't want to go,
00:20:12 --> 00:20:13 fuck am I going to get out of here? Because that's,
00:20:13 --> 00:20:15 you know. They're, they're, they're, they're
00:20:15 --> 00:20:18 dead. That'd be more dangerous. They are, they
00:20:18 --> 00:20:19 are killing out, they're out there killing people
00:20:19 --> 00:20:22 on the mainland. I will put them in prison when
00:20:22 --> 00:20:24 I find them. Is that okay? Right. Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:24 --> 00:20:27 That's, that's okay. As, as already, all you're
00:20:27 --> 00:20:29 worried about is Marsha Palooza. So you just
00:20:29 --> 00:20:31 get the people that are, you know, just keep
00:20:31 --> 00:20:34 people in line. If they arrive from the mainland,
00:20:34 --> 00:20:36 I'll look after them. They're my family. And
00:20:36 --> 00:20:39 even stuff like, say, standing on a travelator.
00:20:40 --> 00:20:41 If they were caught, say, two or three times
00:20:41 --> 00:20:44 doing that, they're in prison. Just to teach
00:20:44 --> 00:20:46 them a lesson. Oh, I thought you meant an escalator.
00:20:47 --> 00:20:49 I envisioned escalator. I was like, well, give
00:20:49 --> 00:20:51 them a bit of a... But no, travelator, yeah.
00:20:51 --> 00:20:53 No, put them in for a day. I would be really
00:20:53 --> 00:20:56 like... There'd be loads of other stuff. Like,
00:20:56 --> 00:20:59 literally. If you use the word literally five
00:20:59 --> 00:21:02 times in one day in the wrong context. Oh. They're
00:21:02 --> 00:21:05 in prison. Yeah. OK, but I will literally put
00:21:05 --> 00:21:07 them in prison for a month. Yeah, that's OK.
00:21:07 --> 00:21:10 Yeah, that's OK. I have one for you here. Here's
00:21:10 --> 00:21:13 Stephen's my new pet peeve. I would put someone
00:21:13 --> 00:21:16 in prison for a day if they did this more than
00:21:16 --> 00:21:19 once. When describing something and they say,
00:21:19 --> 00:21:21 like, how many drinks did you have last night?
00:21:21 --> 00:21:25 Instead of saying they had two or they had three
00:21:25 --> 00:21:27 because they should know when they had they say
00:21:27 --> 00:21:30 two or three. Yeah, if they're if they're if
00:21:30 --> 00:21:33 they're having to be so vague about such a small
00:21:33 --> 00:21:36 number Like I have yeah if someone said how many
00:21:36 --> 00:21:39 people are on this podcast recording last night
00:21:39 --> 00:21:42 or right now rather Jesus if someone said that
00:21:42 --> 00:21:44 and Celine answered about two or three people
00:21:44 --> 00:21:47 I'd say no Celine. There's two people on this
00:21:47 --> 00:21:50 podcast go to prison. Yeah, that's my is that
00:21:50 --> 00:21:53 okay? I actually have a whole thing about I do
00:21:53 --> 00:21:56 this whole routine about units of alcohol Because
00:21:56 --> 00:21:59 we have as paramedics, we have a PCR form to
00:21:59 --> 00:22:01 fill out. Yeah. And there's one question that
00:22:01 --> 00:22:03 Irish people can't answer. How many units of
00:22:03 --> 00:22:08 alcohol? It sounds like simple enough for every
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10 point is two units. And if you had three points,
00:22:10 --> 00:22:12 you've had six units. Right. Irish people cannot
00:22:12 --> 00:22:14 answer it. That's just, I think there's something
00:22:14 --> 00:22:16 with us with numbers. Right. And they go, oh
00:22:16 --> 00:22:19 jeez, at a fair few. Yeah. Yeah. No, but how
00:22:19 --> 00:22:21 many, how many units have you had? Oh, jeez,
00:22:21 --> 00:22:23 at a good, at a hit. You know, they just, you
00:22:23 --> 00:22:25 know, they cannot answer that question. Yeah.
00:22:25 --> 00:22:27 So I think that that too are treating that just
00:22:27 --> 00:22:30 people, Irish people just like to be vague. They
00:22:30 --> 00:22:32 don't like to be specific about, yeah. It doesn't.
00:22:32 --> 00:22:35 No, no, no. That's that's a day in prison for
00:22:35 --> 00:22:37 me. If you can't, it's different if you say.
00:22:37 --> 00:22:39 See, you get you get carried away. There's loads
00:22:39 --> 00:22:42 of them here. The literally thing is my probably
00:22:42 --> 00:22:47 that's at the moment literally is losing the
00:22:47 --> 00:22:49 run of itself. That word, I think I just my my
00:22:49 --> 00:22:51 niece said the other day that she was literally
00:22:51 --> 00:22:54 Hank Marvin. I was like, you're not. Is she?
00:22:55 --> 00:22:58 No, no, no. OK. Hank Marvin, as far as I remember,
00:22:58 --> 00:23:00 was the lead guitarist of the shadows. I don't
00:23:00 --> 00:23:02 know if he's still alive. But you're not him.
00:23:02 --> 00:23:08 Did she believe in reincarnation? She could be.
00:23:09 --> 00:23:11 I should have gave her a guitar and said, prove
00:23:11 --> 00:23:13 it. Everyone has a right to defend themselves.
00:23:14 --> 00:23:16 And there was a guy on the radio the other day
00:23:16 --> 00:23:19 said, there's some artist on it. Oh, she's brilliant.
00:23:19 --> 00:23:21 I saw her in the Olympian last year and she was
00:23:21 --> 00:23:25 literally on fire. And I was like, no, she wasn't.
00:23:25 --> 00:23:28 Because I work for Double Fire. I would have
00:23:28 --> 00:23:30 come in the next morning and said to the lads,
00:23:30 --> 00:23:33 busy night, and they would have said, you're
00:23:33 --> 00:23:35 not going to fucking believe this, but whatever
00:23:35 --> 00:23:38 you want to say. What I just saw will haunt me
00:23:38 --> 00:23:40 for the rest of my days. We were called to the
00:23:40 --> 00:23:41 Olympia last night, we didn't know what we were
00:23:41 --> 00:23:44 going to, it turns out the lead singer went fucking
00:23:44 --> 00:23:47 up on fire. So I just... Middle of the performance.
00:23:47 --> 00:23:49 People clapped along thinking it was part of
00:23:49 --> 00:23:51 the show. It shows you the cruelty of society
00:23:51 --> 00:23:55 these days. Pacific and specific used to be my...
00:23:55 --> 00:23:58 But now literally is the one. I just... Yeah,
00:23:59 --> 00:24:01 yeah. OK. Actually, I changed my mind. It's two
00:24:01 --> 00:24:03 days in prison. Two days. Oh, so you can slide
00:24:03 --> 00:24:05 it. It's not just a day, a weekend. Yeah. OK,
00:24:05 --> 00:24:07 OK. Is there anything else, by the way, Stephen
00:24:07 --> 00:24:08 needs to know? Or is he just happy as long as
00:24:08 --> 00:24:13 his family are OK? Yeah, no, no, that's all that's
00:24:13 --> 00:24:18 that's I Was gonna say as well that the whole
00:24:18 --> 00:24:19 year thing, you know Do I have it like a year
00:24:19 --> 00:24:22 you change laws or you have a I do everything
00:24:22 --> 00:24:25 by a month? Just the first in a month. There's
00:24:25 --> 00:24:28 a big announcement Yeah, we've done. Yeah on
00:24:28 --> 00:24:30 the first in a month and we're gonna change the
00:24:30 --> 00:24:33 national anthem every month by vote And it has
00:24:33 --> 00:24:36 to be an 80s rock classic. Oh, okay any off top
00:24:36 --> 00:24:39 your head now that you'd go it like pour some
00:24:39 --> 00:24:44 sugar on me by Def Leppard or something like
00:24:44 --> 00:24:47 Journey Don't Stop Believing or something. Imagine
00:24:47 --> 00:24:49 being at a match and you go, and here's the national
00:24:49 --> 00:24:52 anthem. Just a small town boy. You don't need
00:24:52 --> 00:24:54 to do it for a month though. No, no longer. Just
00:24:54 --> 00:24:56 for a month. Everything is for a month and then
00:24:56 --> 00:24:59 you change and next month I mightn't feel as
00:24:59 --> 00:25:01 strongly as I do about the word literary and
00:25:01 --> 00:25:03 we might just let it off. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah.
00:25:03 --> 00:25:04 Good. Good thinking. Yeah. That's the Def Leppard.
00:25:04 --> 00:25:06 Every month. Yeah. Every month. Started a month.
00:25:07 --> 00:25:10 Yeah. With Marshall Belusa, is there any So Marshal
00:25:10 --> 00:25:13 Palooza obviously has the best health care, education,
00:25:13 --> 00:25:15 medicine, all stuff like that. Absolutely, yeah.
00:25:15 --> 00:25:18 What unusual list is the country of Marshal Palooza
00:25:18 --> 00:25:23 top of? Oh, soundness, I would say. OK, no, just
00:25:23 --> 00:25:27 for people who aren't from Ireland. Yeah, can
00:25:27 --> 00:25:30 you can you define soundness? Soundness incorporates
00:25:30 --> 00:25:37 everything from niceness to interesting to compassionate.
00:25:39 --> 00:25:42 I don't know, there's so many. It's just a big
00:25:42 --> 00:25:45 abbreviation of the nice stuff of a person. It
00:25:45 --> 00:25:50 was my first joke. I actually have a nickname
00:25:50 --> 00:25:52 that I kind of gave myself when I started doing
00:25:52 --> 00:25:56 comedy. I said that down at home in Tipperary,
00:25:56 --> 00:25:58 we have a competition every year to judge the
00:25:58 --> 00:26:02 soundest person in all of Tipperary. I'm known
00:26:02 --> 00:26:04 as Mr. Dead Sound. I didn't actually win. I came
00:26:04 --> 00:26:06 in second, but I kicked up such a fuss at losing
00:26:06 --> 00:26:08 that the guy who won gave me the prize because
00:26:08 --> 00:26:10 he was a fucking dead cell bloke. And that was,
00:26:10 --> 00:26:12 that was my, I remember at the time thinking
00:26:12 --> 00:26:15 if I ever have to drop that as my opening joke,
00:26:15 --> 00:26:17 I don't know what I'm going to do with it. Yeah.
00:26:17 --> 00:26:20 Yeah. Yeah. But that was, yeah, I actually, that
00:26:20 --> 00:26:22 was your A story. I noticed a minister for soundness
00:26:22 --> 00:26:25 and I was like, are they sold officially or did
00:26:25 --> 00:26:28 you get that made? No, that's a hairy baby. I
00:26:28 --> 00:26:31 have, I mentioned I have seven nephews and three
00:26:31 --> 00:26:35 nieces. my birthday or Christmas, that my, their
00:26:35 --> 00:26:38 go -to thing to buy me is a t -shirt. Usually
00:26:38 --> 00:26:40 a hairy baby or Portable Whispers is their t
00:26:40 --> 00:26:44 -shirt. I love the t -shirt. The idea of wearing
00:26:44 --> 00:26:48 a blank t -shirt just, you know, doesn't... No,
00:26:48 --> 00:26:49 no, you can't have, you have to have something
00:26:49 --> 00:26:53 on it. For people who are still only new to the
00:26:53 --> 00:26:55 term of soundness, it also doesn't mean that
00:26:55 --> 00:26:57 you have to be like best friends with someone
00:26:57 --> 00:27:00 to achieve that. Like someone in a shotgun. Oh,
00:27:00 --> 00:27:02 no, you go ahead there. She's your first. Like,
00:27:03 --> 00:27:07 just literally, yeah, politeness. You kind of
00:27:07 --> 00:27:10 get to know someone before you can decide their
00:27:10 --> 00:27:14 sound. People can act sound, but then they're
00:27:14 --> 00:27:17 not sound. So I think it's one of those things
00:27:17 --> 00:27:19 that once you get to know them, if somebody says,
00:27:20 --> 00:27:21 in Ireland, if somebody said to you, do you know
00:27:21 --> 00:27:25 Polymerch? And you go, oh, yeah, sound. That's
00:27:25 --> 00:27:28 all you have to do. And that's it. That's the
00:27:28 --> 00:27:31 highest achievement you can get. That's the stamp
00:27:31 --> 00:27:34 of approval. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sound man. Yeah.
00:27:35 --> 00:27:37 Sound. It's funny because even today, I was talking
00:27:37 --> 00:27:38 to someone and I asked him to do something and
00:27:38 --> 00:27:41 I went, oh, good man. But if I had said sound
00:27:41 --> 00:27:43 man, then I don't know what he would have realized.
00:27:43 --> 00:27:45 But that would be, oh, he's really a good dog,
00:27:45 --> 00:27:48 Kevin. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Irish people are
00:27:48 --> 00:27:51 good with the understated compliment like that.
00:27:52 --> 00:27:56 That's literally the... We don't give compliments
00:27:56 --> 00:27:58 that well, but that is one of the best ones.
00:27:59 --> 00:28:02 Yeah, yeah, sound. He's sound. Yeah. I had loads
00:28:02 --> 00:28:04 of examples of the kind of stuff where somebody
00:28:04 --> 00:28:06 says something to you and then they take it away.
00:28:07 --> 00:28:09 You know, like the Irish compliment. I remember
00:28:09 --> 00:28:11 my mother -in -law said to me one time, I grew
00:28:11 --> 00:28:13 a beard. I grew a beard. I'd love to have a beard,
00:28:13 --> 00:28:17 but I can't in the Farbogate. So I grew one for
00:28:17 --> 00:28:19 my summer holidays. I had a month off and I grew
00:28:19 --> 00:28:21 a beard. And I came in and she goes, geez, that
00:28:21 --> 00:28:24 beard really suits you. And I was like, oh. Thanks
00:28:24 --> 00:28:26 very much. I think she kind of realized she gave
00:28:26 --> 00:28:28 too much of a compliment. And she said, yeah,
00:28:28 --> 00:28:33 because you have a bit of it going on. And I
00:28:33 --> 00:28:35 was like, yeah, that's a typical Irish thing.
00:28:36 --> 00:28:38 You give it and then you take it back. Yeah,
00:28:38 --> 00:28:41 bring it back down dirt. Yeah, you can't. You're
00:28:41 --> 00:28:43 giving too many compliments to people to get
00:28:43 --> 00:28:45 notions. That's the worst thing. Oh, that one
00:28:45 --> 00:28:47 has notions. Worst thing you could have in Ireland.
00:28:48 --> 00:28:50 That's notions. Next thing you know, you're moving
00:28:50 --> 00:28:53 to America. The one thing I realized as well
00:28:53 --> 00:28:57 recently, there's another thing as well. If someone
00:28:57 --> 00:29:00 says, geez, they're weird. Right. Or someone
00:29:00 --> 00:29:02 describes something they do is weird. I think
00:29:02 --> 00:29:05 weird is good. Right. It can be. Yeah, it can
00:29:05 --> 00:29:07 be good. Yeah. Everyone has something weird going
00:29:07 --> 00:29:10 on, you know, like as a weird interest. I do
00:29:10 --> 00:29:13 this podcast. You know, it's a weird thing. But
00:29:13 --> 00:29:16 if someone says they're strange, you stay away
00:29:16 --> 00:29:20 from that man or that woman. The strange is odd
00:29:20 --> 00:29:22 as well. Odd is another one. You can say it with
00:29:22 --> 00:29:25 a smile. He's a bit odd. Yeah. I think you're
00:29:25 --> 00:29:27 kind of laughing. Yeah. Odd as in if you're talking
00:29:27 --> 00:29:30 to him in the pub, he's a great crack. But don't
00:29:30 --> 00:29:33 go hiring him to be your number two job. No,
00:29:33 --> 00:29:35 no, don't be throwing out the number to him.
00:29:35 --> 00:29:38 He'd be on chill all night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:38 --> 00:29:40 That's weird. If you stay too weird, then there's
00:29:40 --> 00:29:42 odd and then there's strange. Strange is... He
00:29:42 --> 00:29:44 could be fighting you in the middle of the night.
00:29:44 --> 00:29:45 He could be pulling up and jumping up, jumping
00:29:45 --> 00:29:48 out of the car and going at you. Or some are
00:29:48 --> 00:29:49 cracked as well. Something like a fella said,
00:29:49 --> 00:29:51 my neighbour said to me there about this guy
00:29:51 --> 00:29:54 that we know in Raccoon. And he goes, oh, he's
00:29:54 --> 00:29:56 fucking cracked. Oh, yeah, I was talking to him
00:29:56 --> 00:29:58 in the pub, dinner and night for two hours. But
00:29:58 --> 00:30:00 you think that when he's saying at the start
00:30:00 --> 00:30:02 that he's cracked, that you're obviously he's
00:30:02 --> 00:30:04 obviously saying stay away from him. But then
00:30:04 --> 00:30:06 he followed it on by I was talking to him in
00:30:06 --> 00:30:08 the pub for two hours, dinner and night. My immediate
00:30:08 --> 00:30:10 thought is. You know, it's a good cracked. If
00:30:10 --> 00:30:13 you hear cracked. Maybe not everyone, and that's
00:30:13 --> 00:30:17 fine, but anyone who has a bit of banter to them
00:30:17 --> 00:30:19 will go, I need to go over and talk to that person.
00:30:19 --> 00:30:21 Just for a few minutes, just to see what's going
00:30:21 --> 00:30:25 on. But again, if he's cracked, good in a pub
00:30:25 --> 00:30:29 environment, or out and about, you're not going
00:30:29 --> 00:30:31 to hire him to work in your shop. No, no, no,
00:30:31 --> 00:30:36 no. No, no, you couldn't. So it's good and bad
00:30:36 --> 00:30:39 and both, yeah. So I should go back and say your
00:30:39 --> 00:30:43 country of Marciaplusa has the most soundness.
00:30:44 --> 00:30:48 Most soundness. Per population. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:30:49 --> 00:30:52 Sound can also mean, by the way, dependable.
00:30:53 --> 00:30:54 I should mention that as well. Oh, yeah, that's
00:30:54 --> 00:30:57 another. Sound, sound. Yeah, just just. Yeah,
00:30:57 --> 00:31:01 you know, especially if buying cars. Geez, he's
00:31:01 --> 00:31:05 sound. I think that there would be no haggling
00:31:05 --> 00:31:07 in Marciaplusa. It is what it is, the price is
00:31:07 --> 00:31:09 the price. It is the price of the price. There's
00:31:09 --> 00:31:11 no other. I fucking hate, I hate Hagland. Do
00:31:11 --> 00:31:14 you ever do that thing where, like, I mean, you
00:31:14 --> 00:31:16 know, my dad showed me it and I was surprised
00:31:16 --> 00:31:18 about where it's like, let's say I buy a car
00:31:18 --> 00:31:22 off you for two thousand and I go, there's your
00:31:22 --> 00:31:24 two thousand and you go and there's five of it,
00:31:24 --> 00:31:26 five euro back for a good look and you go and
00:31:26 --> 00:31:30 find it. Would you have that in it? We used to,
00:31:30 --> 00:31:32 yeah, I would have seen that being done loads
00:31:32 --> 00:31:33 of times. One of the things you just, I thought
00:31:33 --> 00:31:35 you were going to say there was Hansel it. Do
00:31:35 --> 00:31:38 you know what Hansel is? Do you ever hear that?
00:31:38 --> 00:31:41 Hansel. Sometimes, especially if you were buying
00:31:41 --> 00:31:44 a bag, you would Hansel it. It's for good luck.
00:31:44 --> 00:31:47 And I remember my sisters, we went to New York,
00:31:47 --> 00:31:48 probably shouldn't be saying this, but anyway,
00:31:49 --> 00:31:52 went to New York and on a trip at the fire brigade,
00:31:52 --> 00:31:54 and my sisters were asking me to get them Louis
00:31:54 --> 00:31:56 Vuitton fake handbags, because the Louis Vuitton
00:31:56 --> 00:31:58 handbag was like six or seven hundred grand.
00:31:58 --> 00:32:00 But apparently you'd get them in New York. So
00:32:00 --> 00:32:03 one of the guys said he was down near Bloomingdale's
00:32:03 --> 00:32:05 and there's a fella in a van across the road
00:32:05 --> 00:32:07 selling these things, right? And it was the very
00:32:07 --> 00:32:09 last day I went down and I said, how much? And
00:32:09 --> 00:32:12 he said, I think he said $100. And I looked at
00:32:12 --> 00:32:15 my wallet and I said, look, I've only got $80.
00:32:15 --> 00:32:17 Yeah, I'm getting, I'm getting on a plane literally.
00:32:19 --> 00:32:21 This isn't even haggling. I just have 80. Yeah,
00:32:21 --> 00:32:24 I don't have it. And he goes, OK, 90 bucks. I'm
00:32:24 --> 00:32:27 not haggling with you, buddy. I've got $80. There's
00:32:27 --> 00:32:28 a fellow with me and I said, do you have any
00:32:28 --> 00:32:30 cash? And he said, no, I have no cash. And he
00:32:30 --> 00:32:33 was like, OK, just give me the bloody $80. And
00:32:33 --> 00:32:35 they took the $80. And I got the bag. And I said,
00:32:36 --> 00:32:38 are you going to Hansel it for me? And he was
00:32:38 --> 00:32:40 like, it's for good luck. You put change into
00:32:40 --> 00:32:42 it. He was like, change? Yeah, coins. You put
00:32:42 --> 00:32:45 coins in. It's an Irish thing. And he goes, hey!
00:32:45 --> 00:32:47 a fucking second. You just got this fucking bag
00:32:47 --> 00:32:49 off me for 80 dollars. You know, you want me
00:32:49 --> 00:32:52 to put fucking change and he lost it. I was like,
00:32:52 --> 00:32:54 okay, okay. But the fellow that was with me was
00:32:54 --> 00:32:56 like, come on, actually, this is what I mean.
00:32:56 --> 00:32:59 But yeah, so Hansel is just this thing. You can't,
00:32:59 --> 00:33:02 you know, you can't buy a bag, especially. There's
00:33:02 --> 00:33:04 other things as well. Like people will, if they,
00:33:04 --> 00:33:05 some people will sell a car, they might give
00:33:05 --> 00:33:09 you a change in the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:33:09 --> 00:33:12 Same sort of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want any
00:33:12 --> 00:33:14 of that on Marshall, please? Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:33:15 --> 00:33:17 Yeah, you have to cancel everything in Marsha
00:33:17 --> 00:33:20 Palooza. Yeah, that's that's a coffee is 550,
00:33:20 --> 00:33:22 but they give you 20 cents back. Back in the
00:33:22 --> 00:33:24 cup. In the cup. Down the bottom of the cup.
00:33:25 --> 00:33:27 Down the bottom of the cup. Like a tequila, like
00:33:27 --> 00:33:30 a worm. It's got to be. All right. What I do
00:33:30 --> 00:33:33 have to ask you, what kind of mundane, everyday
00:33:33 --> 00:33:35 item is banned in Marsha Palooza or what pet
00:33:35 --> 00:33:39 peeve? You have a fair few, I think. Oh, I normally
00:33:39 --> 00:33:42 would have. Um, well I don't know, we banned
00:33:42 --> 00:33:45 an actual anthem anyway. AI! I fucking hate AI
00:33:45 --> 00:33:47 at the moment, it scares the shit out of me.
00:33:47 --> 00:33:50 Yeah, I'd like to ban AI. Have you tried to use
00:33:50 --> 00:33:53 it, or is it just nasty? No, no, just, I would
00:33:53 --> 00:33:56 be the first to admit I'm technologically not
00:33:56 --> 00:33:58 great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm bordering on
00:33:58 --> 00:34:01 one of those people who get fooled by AI on a
00:34:01 --> 00:34:03 regular basis, I think it's gonna, it just gets
00:34:03 --> 00:34:06 better and better. Yeah. And I just think, no,
00:34:06 --> 00:34:07 in the next few years, I'm definitely going to
00:34:07 --> 00:34:09 be one of those. Look, I would have laughed at
00:34:09 --> 00:34:11 people who would have got those emails and go,
00:34:11 --> 00:34:13 geez, how did you fall for that email? It's as
00:34:13 --> 00:34:15 obvious, you know, but now with AI, I think those
00:34:15 --> 00:34:18 emails and all, they're all just going to get
00:34:18 --> 00:34:21 scarily good. But recently I saw that Rhys Derby,
00:34:21 --> 00:34:22 you know, Rhys Derby, he's a New Zealand comedian.
00:34:23 --> 00:34:26 He hasn't been around for a long time. The last
00:34:26 --> 00:34:29 time I saw him live was for my 40th, which was
00:34:29 --> 00:34:31 13 years ago. And then he just kind of disappeared.
00:34:33 --> 00:34:36 And It turns out what he was doing with most
00:34:36 --> 00:34:38 of his work is voiceover work. So he does, he's
00:34:38 --> 00:34:41 got a very distinctive voice. So he does cartoons
00:34:41 --> 00:34:43 and he does ads and does everything. He does
00:34:43 --> 00:34:47 nonstop doing voiceover work based in LA. That's
00:34:47 --> 00:34:50 pretty much gone. He was, he did a show, an interview
00:34:50 --> 00:34:51 recently, he said like 90 % of that is gone.
00:34:52 --> 00:34:54 AI can do that now. They can have any voice.
00:34:55 --> 00:34:56 They can get Kevin Ryan's voice, Kevin Ryan type
00:34:56 --> 00:34:59 voice. And it's not specifically your voice,
00:34:59 --> 00:35:01 but it's a voice very like yours. you're out
00:35:01 --> 00:35:04 of work, just like that. So that's one job gone.
00:35:05 --> 00:35:07 Just a very specific job. But that's gone from
00:35:07 --> 00:35:11 AI. So I just think that bit by bit. Yeah. That's
00:35:11 --> 00:35:14 what will happen. You know, and I think. Do you
00:35:14 --> 00:35:17 think standup will stay? That's the thing. Could
00:35:17 --> 00:35:19 could they write jokes? I don't know. I think
00:35:19 --> 00:35:23 that there's a I love comedians who just think
00:35:23 --> 00:35:26 outside the box. It just even like we say, I'm
00:35:26 --> 00:35:30 reading a book at the moment, Adam Bloom's. Yeah.
00:35:30 --> 00:35:33 As I'm reading it, I'm like, I do this already.
00:35:33 --> 00:35:37 But what he's doing is he's putting it into context
00:35:37 --> 00:35:38 what you are doing already, like see the root
00:35:38 --> 00:35:41 of tree and stuff like that. If he's able to
00:35:41 --> 00:35:44 do that and put it into explaining it so well
00:35:44 --> 00:35:47 in this book, somebody might be able to explain
00:35:47 --> 00:35:49 it so well to a computer that it could actually
00:35:49 --> 00:35:53 turn into material. I think from reading Adam's
00:35:53 --> 00:35:56 book that I just kind of taught that maybe I
00:35:56 --> 00:35:59 think it's the thinking outside the box. It's
00:35:59 --> 00:36:02 the real obscure stuff that I'm always right.
00:36:02 --> 00:36:05 I can see that people will will do jokes that
00:36:05 --> 00:36:08 are very obvious. Like if I said to you, Limerick
00:36:08 --> 00:36:12 is a lot like sex. Right. There's a muscle in
00:36:12 --> 00:36:14 my brain that I could turn to three or four different
00:36:14 --> 00:36:17 comedians and we would probably come up with
00:36:17 --> 00:36:19 the same thing and we would come up with three
00:36:19 --> 00:36:23 answers. Right. You know, you know, and you could
00:36:23 --> 00:36:26 do the certain jokes like that. Um, that, or
00:36:26 --> 00:36:28 if there's something presented, I remember years
00:36:28 --> 00:36:30 ago, uh, Trump was on about building the wall
00:36:30 --> 00:36:33 and it was, right. So you approach this from
00:36:33 --> 00:36:35 a comedy point of view. Where is there a big
00:36:35 --> 00:36:39 wall? There's one in China. You say, okay, well,
00:36:39 --> 00:36:42 he has got a point because I was in China recently
00:36:42 --> 00:36:44 and they have a big wall and I didn't see any
00:36:44 --> 00:36:48 Mexicans anywhere. Yeah. Now, the reason I'm
00:36:48 --> 00:36:50 saying that joke is four different comedians
00:36:50 --> 00:36:52 that I know around the time had versions of that
00:36:52 --> 00:36:55 joke. Yes. The facts were presented in front,
00:36:55 --> 00:36:57 you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's that
00:36:57 --> 00:36:59 there was a time there was actually the best
00:36:59 --> 00:37:05 one. The best one is the Lewis strike for 50
00:37:05 --> 00:37:07 percent. They want 50 percent wage increase.
00:37:07 --> 00:37:09 Now, it was bad publicity because what was happening
00:37:09 --> 00:37:11 is they had missed a couple of wage increases.
00:37:12 --> 00:37:15 And four of them had added up to 50%. But the
00:37:15 --> 00:37:19 media were going, fucking 50%. And the media
00:37:19 --> 00:37:21 were giving them loads. And I mean, I thought
00:37:21 --> 00:37:26 it was bad for them, you know. But anyway, the
00:37:26 --> 00:37:30 Dublin bus won the lotto. They had like a consortium,
00:37:30 --> 00:37:31 whatever you call them, a bunch of them, and
00:37:31 --> 00:37:33 won the lotto. And the lotto was six million
00:37:33 --> 00:37:34 or something, which is a lot of money. This is
00:37:34 --> 00:37:38 like 15 years ago, whatever. And I remember hearing
00:37:38 --> 00:37:40 this on the radio going in to work and I thinking,
00:37:41 --> 00:37:43 Oh, a good joke would be safe. If that was the
00:37:43 --> 00:37:45 fucking Lewis drivers, they'd be looking for
00:37:45 --> 00:37:47 10 million or something, you know. So I just
00:37:47 --> 00:37:50 had to. So I went into work and you check your
00:37:50 --> 00:37:52 fire engine and you check your motor and all
00:37:52 --> 00:37:53 that. And I come in, I was having a cup of tea
00:37:53 --> 00:37:56 and I took my phone out and somebody already
00:37:56 --> 00:37:59 had that joke up. I thought, ah, I missed my
00:37:59 --> 00:38:01 window. Yeah, you know, I should have gotten
00:38:01 --> 00:38:04 with it. Right. The next day on the Sun newspaper,
00:38:04 --> 00:38:05 I think it was the Sun newspaper because we get
00:38:05 --> 00:38:08 all the newspapers and works. Everyone drops
00:38:08 --> 00:38:10 them in or whatever. in the middle page, somebody
00:38:10 --> 00:38:12 was reading out to me, oh, look, you got to see
00:38:12 --> 00:38:17 this. And it was 12 versions of that joke. Fuckin'
00:38:17 --> 00:38:20 hell. Darrow, Breen, Dustin, everyone. Yeah.
00:38:20 --> 00:38:22 They said, oh, and someone did an article going,
00:38:22 --> 00:38:25 Twitter was a light last night at the expense
00:38:25 --> 00:38:28 of the Lewis drivers. And everyone was 12 versions
00:38:28 --> 00:38:30 of that joke. Yeah. You know what I mean? So
00:38:30 --> 00:38:34 12 comedy minds went there. So I definitely think
00:38:34 --> 00:38:36 this is a muscle that you grow as a comedian,
00:38:36 --> 00:38:40 but you could also train a computer to do and
00:38:40 --> 00:38:43 roughly generate jokes like that, you know. That's,
00:38:43 --> 00:38:45 yeah, there might be like, there'll be a certain
00:38:45 --> 00:38:48 level of AI comedian, let's put it like that.
00:38:48 --> 00:38:50 Yeah, yeah. But yeah, you won't guess. But then
00:38:50 --> 00:38:53 there's other ones like, if you've got to, Dan
00:38:53 --> 00:38:55 Natterman, have you heard of Dan Natterman? No.
00:38:56 --> 00:38:59 How blue is this? Can I say? It's whatever you
00:38:59 --> 00:39:01 decide. Yeah, it's whatever you decide. Well,
00:39:02 --> 00:39:05 I'll give an example. How I heard about Dan Natterman
00:39:05 --> 00:39:08 was, there was a joke where he said that, When
00:39:08 --> 00:39:10 he was in school, his career guidance teacher
00:39:10 --> 00:39:12 came in one day with a banana and a condom. And
00:39:12 --> 00:39:14 I said, kids, today I'm going to show you how
00:39:14 --> 00:39:16 to put on a condom. And the reason I had the
00:39:16 --> 00:39:18 banana is I can't get an erection on an empty
00:39:18 --> 00:39:24 stomach. Now, to me, I love that joke because
00:39:24 --> 00:39:27 that joke does not fall into any category. That
00:39:27 --> 00:39:34 was just pure madness. He literally, nobody out
00:39:34 --> 00:39:35 there, I can guarantee you no one else out there
00:39:35 --> 00:39:39 has that joke. That was just a bizarre line of
00:39:39 --> 00:39:41 logic. And if you listen to his album, he has
00:39:41 --> 00:39:43 loads of stuff like that. It's all very... Now,
00:39:43 --> 00:39:45 he does do a kind of a pullback and reveal on
00:39:45 --> 00:39:47 jokes and stuff like that, but just generally
00:39:47 --> 00:39:50 the first thoughts are just mad. So he, I think,
00:39:50 --> 00:39:53 is a bit of a mad individual that just really
00:39:53 --> 00:39:55 works well at comedy. And comedians like that,
00:39:56 --> 00:39:59 AI are not going to touch them. No way. I have
00:39:59 --> 00:40:04 a bad question for you. But every politician
00:40:04 --> 00:40:06 faces this sort of question at some point in
00:40:06 --> 00:40:07 their life. There's a scandal going to break
00:40:07 --> 00:40:11 out involving President Paul. You get to pick
00:40:11 --> 00:40:14 what scandal would the people find out about
00:40:14 --> 00:40:17 you. Your approval rating was 91%, now it's down
00:40:17 --> 00:40:21 to 74%. Yeah, that'll be my scandal. Shit, I
00:40:21 --> 00:40:25 don't know, that'll be my biggest flaw. Take
00:40:25 --> 00:40:27 your time. I can edit this. I don't know. For
00:40:27 --> 00:40:29 some reason, I went to eating there for some
00:40:29 --> 00:40:33 reason. Eating? Are you a foodie? Oh, yeah. I'm
00:40:33 --> 00:40:36 upset. Yeah, I have to just... There's a voice
00:40:36 --> 00:40:37 in my head going the whole time. Just stop thinking
00:40:37 --> 00:40:42 about food. Right. I don't know. Let me think.
00:40:42 --> 00:40:44 What else? Would you steal food often? I think
00:40:44 --> 00:40:45 I'm a nice and old fella. I don't think I would
00:40:45 --> 00:40:50 do bad on anyone. Oh, what else? Speed. Probably
00:40:50 --> 00:40:52 be speeding or drunk driving or something like
00:40:52 --> 00:40:55 that. No, I wouldn't drive either. Sorry. No,
00:40:55 --> 00:40:58 it might be speeding. It might be that I got
00:40:58 --> 00:41:00 a sports car and lost a run of me seven. OK,
00:41:01 --> 00:41:04 so you're speeding towards a new restaurant.
00:41:04 --> 00:41:05 What's your favorite restaurant or fast food
00:41:05 --> 00:41:09 or anything like that? A place to go to now.
00:41:09 --> 00:41:12 What would be my favorite? Actually, I live beside
00:41:12 --> 00:41:14 a pub called Pochin still. Right. Do you know
00:41:14 --> 00:41:18 that? Yeah, I don't know. yeah it's it's on the
00:41:18 --> 00:41:20 nice road and it's well known for even before
00:41:20 --> 00:41:22 i ever moved to raccoon i used to go in there
00:41:22 --> 00:41:25 for the carvery i mean i mean it's gas i won't
00:41:25 --> 00:41:28 even pick mcdonald's i'll go carvery yeah so
00:41:28 --> 00:41:31 i'm actually going there today I want to thank
00:41:31 --> 00:41:33 my little fellow from the school room in Australia.
00:41:33 --> 00:41:35 Oh, sweet. OK. Yeah. So I was speeding on the
00:41:35 --> 00:41:37 way to the carvery and the pudging. You brought
00:41:37 --> 00:41:40 that over. OK. Perfect. OK. You were speeding
00:41:40 --> 00:41:43 there. OK. Would you be willing to sit down with
00:41:43 --> 00:41:45 top journalists in the country like Frost and
00:41:45 --> 00:41:47 Nixon start a deal where you're sat face to face
00:41:47 --> 00:41:51 to answer for the speed gate? Yeah. I don't think
00:41:51 --> 00:41:53 I would be that much of a dictator that I would
00:41:53 --> 00:41:55 be like, fuck you, I'm not answering. You know,
00:41:55 --> 00:41:57 I'm not being answered. I would apologize. You'd
00:41:57 --> 00:41:59 apologize. But I mean, does any politician apologize?
00:42:00 --> 00:42:02 Would you like try and escape out of the scandal
00:42:02 --> 00:42:04 or would you just flat out apology? I know. I
00:42:04 --> 00:42:06 think honesty is the best policy. Just apologize.
00:42:07 --> 00:42:10 I think. OK. Yeah. Like at the moment we see
00:42:10 --> 00:42:14 your man. Oh, God, what's his name? If he was
00:42:14 --> 00:42:17 going for president. Gavin. Jim Gavin. Yeah.
00:42:17 --> 00:42:19 Yeah. I just he was just like, oh, I don't know.
00:42:19 --> 00:42:21 We're looking into it. Like if he did just say
00:42:21 --> 00:42:23 it straight. Yeah. Yeah. I don't fucking know
00:42:23 --> 00:42:25 whether I got caught rotting there. Sorry now.
00:42:25 --> 00:42:27 You know, I think he'd be president tomorrow.
00:42:28 --> 00:42:30 Yeah. Like, they don't do that, though, do they,
00:42:30 --> 00:42:33 politicians? No, no. Here's the thing, though.
00:42:33 --> 00:42:35 I'm going to say that it's all very well -being,
00:42:36 --> 00:42:38 all apologetic. But you know, you as well as
00:42:38 --> 00:42:40 I know, the all rounder police would have people
00:42:40 --> 00:42:42 in jail for at least a week if they were speeding.
00:42:43 --> 00:42:46 Yeah. What about you? I would say, take your
00:42:46 --> 00:42:48 medicine, go to jail for a week. You'd be in
00:42:48 --> 00:42:49 jail for a week, but they're going to put you
00:42:49 --> 00:42:51 in a nice jail, right? Yeah, yeah, a nice old
00:42:51 --> 00:42:54 jail. I'd be like the good fellas where I would
00:42:54 --> 00:42:59 fucking make pasta all day. All right. So you're
00:42:59 --> 00:43:00 committed to being treated like everyone else,
00:43:00 --> 00:43:03 but in prison, you're the kingpin. Yeah. OK,
00:43:03 --> 00:43:05 that's fine. Everyone would know who I am. They
00:43:05 --> 00:43:07 know who you are. You're doing what you want.
00:43:08 --> 00:43:09 We cook pasta on the radiator, so we'd be grand.
00:43:10 --> 00:43:14 We can get you a kitchen in there. You can have
00:43:14 --> 00:43:16 a kitchen in the prison. You don't need to cook
00:43:16 --> 00:43:17 pasta in the radiator. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
00:43:18 --> 00:43:20 We go to a small kitchen, so, yeah. That fella's
00:43:20 --> 00:43:25 odd. He's cracked. I'll be like, I have a kitchen.
00:43:25 --> 00:43:27 It tastes better off the radiator. Off the radiator.
00:43:28 --> 00:43:30 I'm telling you, try it once. OK, it's the steam.
00:43:31 --> 00:43:33 It's the water. It's the heat. The water inside.
00:43:33 --> 00:43:37 OK. Do you want us to put out a documentary about
00:43:37 --> 00:43:40 you, but like a propaganda one? Any fantastical
00:43:40 --> 00:43:43 facts we can say about you? Not a documentary,
00:43:44 --> 00:43:48 a movie, and I would get George Clooney to play
00:43:48 --> 00:43:51 me. George Clooney? I'd be adamant about that,
00:43:51 --> 00:43:53 only if it's George Clooney, yeah. I'm going
00:43:53 --> 00:43:57 to pitch this to you. All right, either one.
00:43:57 --> 00:44:01 I'm going to see who asks for more money. I'm
00:44:01 --> 00:44:02 going to pitch this to you. It's going to be
00:44:02 --> 00:44:05 the all -rounder president. Lovely. Sounds good.
00:44:05 --> 00:44:07 So you're going to be a former, wait, is this
00:44:07 --> 00:44:09 completely fictional? Are we putting anything
00:44:09 --> 00:44:12 real in this? A bit of fiction in it that I was,
00:44:13 --> 00:44:15 I don't know, I won an Olympic medal or something
00:44:15 --> 00:44:17 or something. What would you win it in? Shot
00:44:17 --> 00:44:20 put. I reckon that when I was, I went to a school
00:44:20 --> 00:44:24 one time, we visited this school and they were
00:44:24 --> 00:44:25 at the shop and I said, oh, give us a go at that,
00:44:25 --> 00:44:27 will you? And I picked up a shot put and threw
00:44:27 --> 00:44:30 it. And someone said to me, that was really good.
00:44:31 --> 00:44:33 And I reckoned. I could have been good at shot
00:44:33 --> 00:44:35 put if they only just did shot put in my school.
00:44:36 --> 00:44:38 I remember thinking I was cheated. Paul, they
00:44:38 --> 00:44:41 gave you a tennis ball. I was wondering why it
00:44:41 --> 00:44:44 was yellow. I was okay. Launched it across the
00:44:44 --> 00:44:48 county. Well, the team was as well. They were
00:44:48 --> 00:44:51 all about 13 and I was 17 at the time, but I
00:44:51 --> 00:44:56 didn't think that. All right, we'll get that
00:44:56 --> 00:44:58 shot, but definitely not a tennis ball. OK, yeah,
00:44:58 --> 00:45:01 no, we put that in. You're a former Olympic champion
00:45:01 --> 00:45:05 who dated Pamela Anderson and went on to the
00:45:05 --> 00:45:07 press. Oh, she's great, isn't she? Did you watch
00:45:07 --> 00:45:10 Naked Gun? Oh, Naked Gun, she's brilliant. Yeah,
00:45:10 --> 00:45:13 absolutely. She was fantastic. There's a knock
00:45:13 --> 00:45:16 on your door at one of your houses, once you
00:45:16 --> 00:45:17 get out of prison, there's a knock on your door.
00:45:17 --> 00:45:20 Knock, knock, knock. Yeah. When you say yeah,
00:45:20 --> 00:45:22 are you opening the door or are you just leaving
00:45:22 --> 00:45:24 it? Oh, yeah. No, I'm just living there by myself.
00:45:25 --> 00:45:27 Maybe me and Pamela Anderson are living there
00:45:27 --> 00:45:30 together. Right. The wife isn't there. Yeah.
00:45:30 --> 00:45:33 Well, my wife is very open. Oh, grand. Yeah.
00:45:33 --> 00:45:36 She's back in the mainland. OK. But knock, knock,
00:45:36 --> 00:45:39 knock. Are you opening it or is Pamela or? Oh,
00:45:39 --> 00:45:41 I'll open it. Yeah. Yeah. Hello there. It's it's
00:45:41 --> 00:45:43 actually Paul, your finance person. Hello fellow
00:45:43 --> 00:45:46 Paul. Hey, Paul. Hey, how are you doing? I just
00:45:46 --> 00:45:48 have great news for you. There is a lot of money
00:45:48 --> 00:45:50 in the country. I've checked the books and we
00:45:50 --> 00:45:52 have 10 billion in surplus. By the way, what
00:45:52 --> 00:45:55 would this country export? Like, what are we?
00:45:55 --> 00:45:58 Oh, yeah. Food, sure. Something simple like we
00:45:58 --> 00:46:01 found oil or something like that or. Oh, sure.
00:46:01 --> 00:46:03 Yeah, there's stuff off the coast and around
00:46:03 --> 00:46:05 that area. Yeah, we found that. Yeah, we found
00:46:05 --> 00:46:07 stuff off the coast. It was just or there's a
00:46:07 --> 00:46:10 rare fish or something that you that you can
00:46:10 --> 00:46:14 use in Viagra or something like that. It's better
00:46:14 --> 00:46:17 than Viagra. No wonder why Pamela is with you.
00:46:21 --> 00:46:24 But Viagra, they were trying to come up with
00:46:24 --> 00:46:26 a cold medicine and this is what, and by accident
00:46:26 --> 00:46:28 he realized that that's what it was. And I would
00:46:28 --> 00:46:32 just imagine in that lab, they were like, should
00:46:32 --> 00:46:34 we keep continuing or just, and they were like,
00:46:34 --> 00:46:36 no, we're going to make a fucking fortune here.
00:46:36 --> 00:46:38 You know the way they do tests and stuff and
00:46:38 --> 00:46:40 they're like, oh, we have to check the side effects.
00:46:40 --> 00:46:42 How long did it take them to go, all right, we're
00:46:42 --> 00:46:45 bringing in the next test subject. Jesus, he
00:46:45 --> 00:46:47 has an erection. That's not cure. Every single
00:46:47 --> 00:46:48 one of them has erections. Yeah. But how long
00:46:48 --> 00:46:50 before they went, I know we'll have to do more
00:46:50 --> 00:46:54 tests. Hold on a minute. If we this is another
00:46:54 --> 00:46:57 way to get them off out of bed. When we go to
00:46:57 --> 00:46:59 road traffic accidents in the fire brigade, there's
00:46:59 --> 00:47:00 a thing that you can get where there's a part
00:47:00 --> 00:47:04 of your spine. If fluid leaks, you get a thing
00:47:04 --> 00:47:07 called priapism, which is a very, very erect,
00:47:07 --> 00:47:11 very strongly erect. I shouldn't laugh. Yeah.
00:47:11 --> 00:47:14 I know. Yeah. It's not a good sign. It means
00:47:14 --> 00:47:17 that your spine has been damaged. But you would
00:47:17 --> 00:47:19 often, and there would be like some guy, you
00:47:19 --> 00:47:21 know, you have to ask, um, by any chance did
00:47:21 --> 00:47:25 you take a Viagra last year? I know you don't
00:47:25 --> 00:47:26 ask him that. I'm only joking. Okay. Yeah. I'm
00:47:26 --> 00:47:28 just like, if I'm sorry. It is this thing. It
00:47:28 --> 00:47:31 is a thing that you can get. Uh, it's one of
00:47:31 --> 00:47:33 the things it's called pripism. It's, uh, something
00:47:33 --> 00:47:35 that you watch out for in road traffic accidents.
00:47:36 --> 00:47:39 So, okay. So when. Next time I'm in bed, love
00:47:39 --> 00:47:41 kick me in the back really hard there, we're
00:47:41 --> 00:47:44 gonna have a great night. I can, yeah, I'm having
00:47:44 --> 00:47:46 problems getting up, give us a kick in the back
00:47:46 --> 00:47:47 there. Just give us a good kick there. And then
00:47:47 --> 00:47:52 I lie still. You do the rest. As Paul, the finance
00:47:52 --> 00:47:54 person, he said he has great news because you
00:47:54 --> 00:47:56 have so much money in the country, your people
00:47:56 --> 00:47:57 who are delighted with you because you went to
00:47:57 --> 00:47:59 prison, you were just like them, they would like
00:47:59 --> 00:48:01 to build a world wonder, something really fancy,
00:48:01 --> 00:48:03 but they're not very creative like you. So what
00:48:03 --> 00:48:07 could we build in your honor? Oh, I would say
00:48:07 --> 00:48:09 something like Taito Park, but it'd be Maraschie
00:48:09 --> 00:48:11 Park or something like that. Yeah. Maraschie
00:48:11 --> 00:48:14 Park. Oh my God. Bunkers in this park. Yeah,
00:48:14 --> 00:48:17 you actually have all the rides and in between
00:48:17 --> 00:48:19 the rides, there's places, bushes to hide for
00:48:19 --> 00:48:21 52 bunkers. Did you ever see those? I've never
00:48:21 --> 00:48:22 gone to them, but I'd love to. You see there's
00:48:22 --> 00:48:24 a few. I think there's places in America where
00:48:24 --> 00:48:26 they've they've kind of reconstructed a town,
00:48:26 --> 00:48:29 but it's for kind of like zombies or paintball
00:48:29 --> 00:48:31 or something. Oh, no, no, I haven't seen that.
00:48:31 --> 00:48:33 So like, let's say they'll have a lot of actors
00:48:33 --> 00:48:37 dressed up as zombies. you run off, you have,
00:48:37 --> 00:48:39 I don't know, six hours or something to hide
00:48:39 --> 00:48:41 and do whatever. And they just have to find you.
00:48:41 --> 00:48:42 And obviously they eat you and kill you. But
00:48:42 --> 00:48:44 then you're you're if you survive, it's great.
00:48:44 --> 00:48:46 Because the running man is coming out there doing
00:48:46 --> 00:48:48 a remake of it. And I always thought the running
00:48:48 --> 00:48:52 man with paintball would be a good one. Yeah.
00:48:53 --> 00:48:56 Yeah. In a big like big forest someplace. We
00:48:56 --> 00:48:59 can do all that took the whole day. We can do
00:48:59 --> 00:49:02 all this for for Marcy Park. Yeah, that'd be
00:49:02 --> 00:49:03 it. Like I have a forest that just the whole
00:49:03 --> 00:49:08 forest is One big running man. And every day
00:49:08 --> 00:49:11 is somewhat different. And it's your day today.
00:49:12 --> 00:49:13 OK. We are going to spend so much. It's going
00:49:13 --> 00:49:16 to take about two billion in cost. Is that right?
00:49:16 --> 00:49:19 No problem. OK. One is no object. Brilliant news.
00:49:19 --> 00:49:21 Paul is going to run off and do that. Why is
00:49:21 --> 00:49:22 he going to have to do that? When it's your birthday,
00:49:22 --> 00:49:24 how do you want people to celebrate you? Oh,
00:49:25 --> 00:49:28 just come out for it. Actually, a barbecue. Yeah.
00:49:29 --> 00:49:31 A barbecue. I've barbecued mad in the last while.
00:49:31 --> 00:49:34 Definitely a big barbecue someplace. Okay, would
00:49:34 --> 00:49:38 you? I used to cook and work and one of the things
00:49:38 --> 00:49:41 when you cook in the fire station is that your
00:49:41 --> 00:49:44 budget is not that big so you learn how to do
00:49:44 --> 00:49:49 large portions. So anything with mince. So my
00:49:49 --> 00:49:52 three things are lasagna. I do a brilliant lasagna.
00:49:53 --> 00:49:56 But my piece de resistance is burgers. I just
00:49:56 --> 00:49:58 have a thing about burgers. What would be your
00:49:58 --> 00:50:00 burger now? Well, if you are like, I need to
00:50:00 --> 00:50:05 serve up a burger to the NATO. The burger I make
00:50:05 --> 00:50:14 at the moment is about 40 % sausage and 60 %
00:50:14 --> 00:50:17 mince. Right, right. Finely cut up onions. I
00:50:17 --> 00:50:20 put an egg and I put flour in it to hold it together.
00:50:22 --> 00:50:24 I dabble every now and again with different...
00:50:25 --> 00:50:29 what to put on top of it. But how I like to cook
00:50:29 --> 00:50:31 them is I always think a burger is nicer is if
00:50:31 --> 00:50:33 you seal them on a pan and then put them in an
00:50:33 --> 00:50:36 oven rather than actually do. I know I'm saying
00:50:36 --> 00:50:39 a barbecue, but what I would like to do there
00:50:39 --> 00:50:41 is seal it on the barbecue and then put it in
00:50:41 --> 00:50:43 an oven and they stay juicy in the middle. Yeah.
00:50:43 --> 00:50:46 So that's, that's my perfect burger. And then,
00:50:46 --> 00:50:49 um, three times cooks chips or else twice cook
00:50:49 --> 00:50:51 chips. So you're going to do that for a half
00:50:51 --> 00:50:53 million people for your birthday. Well, no, I'm
00:50:53 --> 00:50:56 going to hire a load of chefs to do that. You'll
00:50:56 --> 00:50:58 teach them. You'll have your all -rounder police
00:50:58 --> 00:51:00 and your all -rounder chefs. All -rounder chefs.
00:51:01 --> 00:51:03 OK. Everyone's an all -rounder in this aisle.
00:51:03 --> 00:51:05 All -rounder. They all have to be to pull their
00:51:05 --> 00:51:07 weight. OK, so they'll all be around. They'll
00:51:07 --> 00:51:09 all be celebrating you, giving you presents.
00:51:09 --> 00:51:10 What would be the perfect birthday present for
00:51:10 --> 00:51:14 you from a citizen? A hairy baby's t -shirt.
00:51:14 --> 00:51:16 That I don't have already. Yeah, they will throw
00:51:16 --> 00:51:20 so many. I can get sponsored by Hairy Baby. Might
00:51:20 --> 00:51:23 be handy. There is a little bit of a bad question.
00:51:23 --> 00:51:26 You're safe. You don't have anything to worry
00:51:26 --> 00:51:28 about. But there was a coup attempt. Some of
00:51:28 --> 00:51:30 the all rounder police went, hold on a minute.
00:51:31 --> 00:51:33 This criminal who's been in jail shouldn't be
00:51:33 --> 00:51:36 leading us. We should. We control all the justice
00:51:36 --> 00:51:40 and laws and stuff. But 10 of them have been
00:51:40 --> 00:51:42 rounded up. They've been put in jail. But what
00:51:42 --> 00:51:43 should we do with them? Because they're very...
00:51:43 --> 00:51:46 Just send them back to the mainland. Back to
00:51:46 --> 00:51:50 Ireland. Back to Ireland. Yeah. Skip the week,
00:51:50 --> 00:51:51 the month, the whole lot. Just straight back
00:51:51 --> 00:51:53 to Ireland. Back to Kilkenny. That's where they're
00:51:53 --> 00:51:57 from. Yeah. Have they any way of getting back
00:51:57 --> 00:52:01 though? No, never. No, you've ruined it. And
00:52:01 --> 00:52:04 then I'd have a word with whoever did the interviews.
00:52:05 --> 00:52:07 How did they let them slip by? Because those
00:52:07 --> 00:52:09 interviews are supposed to be... No, no, the
00:52:09 --> 00:52:12 interviews for the all around the police is done
00:52:12 --> 00:52:14 by psychologists and all. They're supposed to
00:52:14 --> 00:52:16 pick the soundest. OK. What do you do every day
00:52:16 --> 00:52:19 on this island? Not much. Not much. Yeah, you
00:52:19 --> 00:52:20 don't have to do much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're
00:52:20 --> 00:52:23 the leader. Oversee the whole thing. You delegate.
00:52:23 --> 00:52:25 Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a knock on your door
00:52:25 --> 00:52:27 after some time has passed. Knock, knock, knock.
00:52:27 --> 00:52:30 Yeah. Knock, knock, knock. Hiya. Hello. Hiya.
00:52:30 --> 00:52:33 Hiya, and they'll walk in. Hi, Pamela, and hi,
00:52:33 --> 00:52:36 Paul. It's Paul again, finance man. Yeah. I'm
00:52:36 --> 00:52:38 just letting you know, and I'm going to be in
00:52:38 --> 00:52:39 a bit of a rush because I'm going on holiday.
00:52:39 --> 00:52:41 I'm going to kill Kenny for nine weeks. It's
00:52:41 --> 00:52:46 my, my, I've worked up my holiday hours. So the
00:52:46 --> 00:52:48 plane is under is about to go there. So I just
00:52:48 --> 00:52:51 want to let you know your mercy park is built
00:52:51 --> 00:52:53 We have everything there you need. It's fantastic.
00:52:53 --> 00:52:55 We have a big huge barbecue section as well.
00:52:55 --> 00:52:58 That's that's great And before I go, I just had
00:52:58 --> 00:53:00 a quick look at the budget again. It turns out
00:53:00 --> 00:53:02 There's a minus sign in front of those that 10
00:53:02 --> 00:53:03 billion. I didn't see it in tiny little minus
00:53:03 --> 00:53:06 sign So we're actually at 12 billion in debt.
00:53:06 --> 00:53:08 The International Monetary Fund is emailing us
00:53:08 --> 00:53:12 asking. How are we gonna make money? I better
00:53:12 --> 00:53:14 go. I better get my plane. I'll be back in nine
00:53:14 --> 00:53:17 weeks after my paid holiday. Bye. I'm going to
00:53:17 --> 00:53:20 leave. So what do we do? Just do a two for one
00:53:20 --> 00:53:25 on our Viagra. Wait, so we sell Viagra? No, we
00:53:25 --> 00:53:30 sell a rare fish that's better than Viagra. So
00:53:30 --> 00:53:33 there's a part of the fish that just they put
00:53:33 --> 00:53:35 in Viagra and it's like the best Viagra on the
00:53:35 --> 00:53:37 planet. Viagra is going to bust at this stage
00:53:37 --> 00:53:41 because we've outsold them. We're going to call
00:53:41 --> 00:53:46 it a PaloozaVille or something. PaloozaVille?
00:53:46 --> 00:53:48 You've been PaloozaVille? No, we've already got
00:53:48 --> 00:53:51 Marshy Palooza, so we call it PaloozaPower. That's
00:53:51 --> 00:53:53 what it's going to be called. And it's a tablet
00:53:53 --> 00:53:56 that you just take and you get them for a month.
00:53:56 --> 00:53:58 You don't just take one tablet and it just does
00:53:58 --> 00:54:00 one day. You just have them for a month, whenever
00:54:00 --> 00:54:03 you want them. And it's the best. Wait, what
00:54:03 --> 00:54:04 do you mean you have it for a month? Like you
00:54:04 --> 00:54:06 have an erection for a month? Anyone who can't
00:54:06 --> 00:54:08 get an erection can get an erection for a full
00:54:08 --> 00:54:11 month now with this thing. That's a bit long,
00:54:11 --> 00:54:14 isn't it? I'm just trying to say how good it
00:54:14 --> 00:54:16 is. This is why we're going to make 12 billion
00:54:16 --> 00:54:19 back. We don't have to worry about money. OK,
00:54:19 --> 00:54:21 yeah, no, there'll be two for one. So two for
00:54:21 --> 00:54:23 one. So for two months for the price of one,
00:54:23 --> 00:54:27 you'll have an erection. Yeah. OK. It's fine.
00:54:27 --> 00:54:30 I don't know. You know, I looked up any food
00:54:30 --> 00:54:33 that causes erections and apparently salmon does.
00:54:33 --> 00:54:35 Are you sure you're not? Yeah, because oysters
00:54:35 --> 00:54:38 as well is supposed to be one, isn't it? That's
00:54:38 --> 00:54:40 why I was thinking fish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:54:40 --> 00:54:42 I don't know what they put. I don't know what
00:54:42 --> 00:54:44 they put in Viagra. I'm sure it's actually Viagra.
00:54:46 --> 00:54:48 I'm guessing that it's made in Tipperary, isn't
00:54:48 --> 00:54:51 it? What do you mean by that? Merck, Sharp and
00:54:51 --> 00:54:54 Dome, they make Viagra are one of those pharmaceutical
00:54:54 --> 00:54:58 companies. Where is Viagra? Made in Ireland.
00:54:58 --> 00:55:02 My God. I did not know that beyond Viagra town,
00:55:04 --> 00:55:06 the vast majority of the world's supply of Viagra
00:55:06 --> 00:55:09 is manufactured by Pfizer in a small village
00:55:09 --> 00:55:12 in County Cork. Oh, it's Cork, is it? Oh, right.
00:55:12 --> 00:55:15 OK. I did not know that. All right. Ring of Skitty.
00:55:15 --> 00:55:20 Yeah. There you go. You get a what? It's one
00:55:20 --> 00:55:26 of the side effects. All right. Oh, that's fantastic.
00:55:26 --> 00:55:29 OK, so yeah, you've solved that. You learned
00:55:29 --> 00:55:31 something new every day. There you go. I did
00:55:31 --> 00:55:33 not know that. I actually thought it was Tipperary.
00:55:33 --> 00:55:34 For some reason, I thought it was Merck, Sharp
00:55:34 --> 00:55:37 and Dome. No, no. There's this town, there's
00:55:37 --> 00:55:39 a pharmaceutical place in Tipperary between Clamelagh
00:55:39 --> 00:55:43 and Carrigan Shore. And it's like a town. It's
00:55:43 --> 00:55:47 just a massive big plant. We're the, Tiberii
00:55:47 --> 00:55:52 is the opposite of an aphrodisiac. We stop that
00:55:52 --> 00:55:54 dead. We kill the mood. After the coup and the
00:55:54 --> 00:55:56 budget crisis and everything, I think some people
00:55:56 --> 00:55:59 would like to know that everything's okay. So
00:55:59 --> 00:56:01 we figure, your advisors figure, you need to
00:56:01 --> 00:56:04 have a photo op. You know how Putin will sit
00:56:04 --> 00:56:06 on a bear and he'll be shirtless and he'll be
00:56:06 --> 00:56:08 like, look how strong I am. So what would you
00:56:08 --> 00:56:10 do as a photo op to show everyone you're in charge,
00:56:10 --> 00:56:13 everything's fine? Oh, I don't know, this photo
00:56:13 --> 00:56:16 op for me, what would be my persona? A photo
00:56:16 --> 00:56:18 op would be just me handing out burgers at the
00:56:18 --> 00:56:20 barbecue, I think. That would sum me up, I think.
00:56:20 --> 00:56:22 Oh yeah, you're like, you're feeding the poor,
00:56:22 --> 00:56:24 feeding the poor. Yeah, feeding everyone, just,
00:56:24 --> 00:56:26 yeah. That's a lot of burgers. You haven't made
00:56:26 --> 00:56:28 these burgers though, right? No, but I mean,
00:56:29 --> 00:56:32 I would go in with my spatula and hand out a
00:56:32 --> 00:56:33 few and just get a few photographs taken and
00:56:33 --> 00:56:38 then move on. Right, yeah. Jesus. It's so cynical.
00:56:38 --> 00:56:42 Such a political answer. I didn't make the burgers.
00:56:42 --> 00:56:44 I'm just going to claim I made them. So you're
00:56:44 --> 00:56:46 going to claim you made those burgers. Yeah,
00:56:46 --> 00:56:48 and hand out a few photographs taken. Can you
00:56:48 --> 00:56:52 say a few? Two or three? Two or three, yeah.
00:56:52 --> 00:56:56 Just a few photographs. How many? That's another
00:56:56 --> 00:56:58 thing. And then the all -rounder chefs can take
00:56:58 --> 00:57:00 over. Right, the all -rounders will do that and
00:57:00 --> 00:57:03 you go off. You're slowly turning into Mjolnirin.
00:57:05 --> 00:57:07 Hey, that'll do. Yeah, that's lovely. You get
00:57:07 --> 00:57:10 a few photos when at some point you will have
00:57:10 --> 00:57:12 to decide who's your successor, right? You'll
00:57:12 --> 00:57:14 have to announce to people that you're going
00:57:14 --> 00:57:16 to stay on until the wheels fall off and you
00:57:16 --> 00:57:18 die and you're gone. Oh, no, I'd retire at some
00:57:18 --> 00:57:20 stage and kind of oversee the new guy coming
00:57:20 --> 00:57:23 in. But I don't think it should be the whole
00:57:23 --> 00:57:24 thing about, you know, Kings and all where they
00:57:24 --> 00:57:27 have their son. I wouldn't, yeah, I wouldn't
00:57:27 --> 00:57:30 like to put, I've once, child, I wouldn't like
00:57:30 --> 00:57:31 to be putting them under that pressure, you know,
00:57:31 --> 00:57:33 just say, you often do whatever you want to do.
00:57:33 --> 00:57:36 Yeah. I probably would trust them, but I just
00:57:36 --> 00:57:39 think, um, just keep your eye on, on your success,
00:57:40 --> 00:57:43 you know, who's stoundest. I have a few Mr. Dead
00:57:43 --> 00:57:45 Sound competitions or Mrs. Dead Sound competition.
00:57:46 --> 00:57:48 Mr. and Mrs. Bell, yeah, Dead Sound competition.
00:57:48 --> 00:57:50 And then come up with Dead Sound competition,
00:57:50 --> 00:57:54 then come up with a, about a window of about
00:57:54 --> 00:57:57 10 that you might. think of handing over to and
00:57:57 --> 00:58:00 then yeah actually you there you go i i picked
00:58:00 --> 00:58:03 my 10 favorite and then let the the public decide
00:58:03 --> 00:58:06 oh they'll get the vote then as he's the soundest
00:58:06 --> 00:58:09 once off once it's once every not even it's an
00:58:09 --> 00:58:11 election every it's an election every lifetime
00:58:11 --> 00:58:14 yeah at the end of at the end of their reign
00:58:14 --> 00:58:16 about every 50 or 60 years yeah and when you
00:58:16 --> 00:58:18 said you were going to retire like are you retiring
00:58:18 --> 00:58:20 staying on the island or are you leaving oh no
00:58:20 --> 00:58:24 staying on the island yeah and eating barbecues
00:58:24 --> 00:58:29 and Speeding around. Going to jail every now
00:58:29 --> 00:58:32 and again. Two trips to jail. As that happens.
00:58:33 --> 00:58:36 Yeah, for your radiator pasta. Yeah. OK, that's
00:58:36 --> 00:58:39 great. OK, so this is basically the island of
00:58:39 --> 00:58:41 soundness, right? It's just going to be on your
00:58:41 --> 00:58:44 flag or something. Yeah. That's great. OK, Paul,
00:58:45 --> 00:58:47 because I'm not going on your present anymore.
00:58:47 --> 00:58:52 I think the thumbs up would be just the symbol
00:58:52 --> 00:58:55 as well for the flag. I've read something that
00:58:55 --> 00:58:58 apparently that's passive aggressive as an emoji.
00:58:58 --> 00:59:02 Oh, is it? Thumbs up. How about that? Is that
00:59:02 --> 00:59:07 not racist? Is this? Yeah. I don't know. That
00:59:07 --> 00:59:11 apparently is. Or double. Maybe that like that.
00:59:11 --> 00:59:14 That'd be an emoji. Surely that's OK. Yeah. Yeah.
00:59:15 --> 00:59:18 Moose ears. OK. So you can do that as your as
00:59:18 --> 00:59:20 your flag or your. That's going to be the flag.
00:59:21 --> 00:59:23 Yeah. That's perfect. OK. Paul, thank you so
00:59:23 --> 00:59:26 much for chatting with me. No problem at all.
00:59:26 --> 00:59:29 Your Sound Island. Can I ask you, where do people
00:59:29 --> 00:59:32 find you offline and online? Oh, I'm online.
00:59:32 --> 00:59:35 I'm Paul Marsh, comedian on Instagram and TikTok.
00:59:36 --> 00:59:40 I put up videos most days before. Also, I have
00:59:40 --> 00:59:43 my own podcast with two friends of mine, Johnny
00:59:43 --> 00:59:46 Candon and Carl Spain. We do a movie podcast,
00:59:47 --> 00:59:49 which is basically we say it's a movie podcast.
00:59:49 --> 00:59:52 We don't stick to subjects. It's kind of like
00:59:52 --> 00:59:56 a man shed. Honestly, I swear about once a week
00:59:56 --> 01:00:00 they come up to me and Rakul. I cook burgers.
01:00:01 --> 01:00:03 We do a podcast and then I cook burgers and then
01:00:03 --> 01:00:07 we go home. We eat donuts. Can I get on the podcast
01:00:07 --> 01:00:09 for the burger? We actually haven't done any
01:00:09 --> 01:00:12 guests yet. That's our next thing. I'll get you
01:00:12 --> 01:00:16 on. Oh, if I can get up for the burger. We just
01:00:16 --> 01:00:20 met, we met yesterday and we recorded two episodes,
01:00:20 --> 01:00:22 so we're meeting again next Tuesday. So season
01:00:22 --> 01:00:25 two is out soon. So yeah, we're loving it. It's
01:00:25 --> 01:00:30 great. But like that, we're doing something.
01:00:30 --> 01:00:32 We're just happy to be doing something. Yeah.
01:00:33 --> 01:00:35 No, really good. What was your last movie you
01:00:35 --> 01:00:37 watched? We didn't actually, we don't watch movies.
01:00:37 --> 01:00:39 It's strange. We pick strange subjects. The last
01:00:39 --> 01:00:42 thing we did was favorite movie character. And
01:00:42 --> 01:00:45 then we did... We did a podcast yesterday that
01:00:45 --> 01:00:47 they were all getting annoyed about and trying
01:00:47 --> 01:00:49 to think what it was. I should have it here,
01:00:49 --> 01:00:54 actually. Oh, remakes. Movies that were good
01:00:54 --> 01:00:58 remakes from the original or even better. And
01:00:58 --> 01:01:00 then we were kind of talking about what movies
01:01:00 --> 01:01:03 would we like to see remade? Reboots and remakes.
01:01:03 --> 01:01:04 Yeah. Actually, we were kind of arguing over
01:01:04 --> 01:01:07 what's a reboot and what a remake is. But I just
01:01:07 --> 01:01:09 think there's a load of great movies out there
01:01:09 --> 01:01:12 that I wouldn't mind seeing. kind of done with
01:01:12 --> 01:01:15 with new CGI or whatever. And just bring it to
01:01:15 --> 01:01:17 another generation. I had a t -shirt on the other
01:01:17 --> 01:01:20 day. It's Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the
01:01:20 --> 01:01:23 Cocoa's Nest. And it says medication time. And
01:01:23 --> 01:01:25 this comedian said to me, what movie is that
01:01:25 --> 01:01:27 from? And I was like, I was in shock that they,
01:01:27 --> 01:01:29 to me, that's a classic, you know? Yeah, maybe.
01:01:30 --> 01:01:33 And what's his name? He was in the Dylan movie.
01:01:33 --> 01:01:37 And Wonka, what's his name? Oh, and we did the
01:01:37 --> 01:01:40 Dean Wilder. No, no, in the new one, in the new
01:01:40 --> 01:01:43 one. He's in everything. He's in every kind of...
01:01:43 --> 01:01:46 Johnny Depp? Timothee Chalamet. Oh, the new one,
01:01:46 --> 01:01:49 yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything should be remade
01:01:49 --> 01:01:52 with Timothee Chalamet. Timothee Chalamet, okay.
01:01:53 --> 01:01:55 What's the name of the podcast again? It's called,
01:01:55 --> 01:01:58 oh sorry, the Filmity podcast. So it's film and
01:01:58 --> 01:02:01 comedy. Filmity. Put together filmity podcast,
01:02:01 --> 01:02:03 yeah. We have an Instagram page and all of that.
01:02:03 --> 01:02:07 Perfect. Okay. Finally, if... people are on your
01:02:07 --> 01:02:10 island and they decide not to listen to your
01:02:10 --> 01:02:12 podcast. What's the punishment for them? Oh,
01:02:12 --> 01:02:16 at least that's a month. A month per episode.
01:02:18 --> 01:02:22 How many episodes have you done? We've 25 in
01:02:22 --> 01:02:26 season one. Two solid years in the jail. Okay,
01:02:26 --> 01:02:29 perfect. All right, bye. Oh, the cat is back.
01:02:29 --> 01:02:31 All right, bye everyone. All right, thanks.