Tilly Caspara Santa’s replacement, The Christmas Queen with an army of penguins

[00:00:07] Hello everyone, this is the Tyrant In Training Podcast. This is an improv comedy podcast where I usually interview a guest and they become... Oh my god, there's a siren going off. Okay, there's a siren going off, so I have to be quick. This will be about an hour. No, this is an improv comedy podcast where a guest usually runs their own country in whatever way they want, and they can be as good and evil as they like, and I just go along with it because I have to.

[00:00:33] But this time I'm doing something a little bit different. Because this episode is coming out, I believe, six days before Christmas Day, instead of my guest being the ruler of their own country and they can do whatever they want, they're going to be a new Santa Claus. Yeah, see? So actually, I've just realised anyone who's listening only has the audio of this, whereas I can see the guest's reaction to that, which is thankfully excited. Yay.

[00:00:59] So I... Ooh, here's actually a first question I can ask as well. My guest is Tilly Kaspera. Hello, Tilly, how are you?

[00:01:08] Hi, Kevin. I'm great, how are you?

[00:01:12] You almost blew it. I was going to say, me and Tilly have been long time, very close, long time friends, and we can make up now how long we've been friends and how we've, you know...

[00:01:21] 15 years.

[00:01:22] At least 15 years, back when we were both...

[00:01:25] Very young.

[00:01:25] Yeah, this is perfect improv. Yes, we were very young and it was, I believe it was in the summertime when you started...

[00:01:35] Yeah, I think we were at the summer camp.

[00:01:36] It was at summer camp, yeah. You had to help me with something, I can't remember what.

[00:01:40] Yeah, you were in this canoe and I had to help you because you were about to be tilting and falling out in the water and I came and saved you, don't you remember?

[00:01:47] Oh yes, absolutely, yeah, yeah. You hit me with the oar.

[00:01:51] Yeah, I try not to get into that.

[00:01:52] It was someone said, oh, mouth to mouth, and you went, no, I'll just hit him with the oar and wake him up.

[00:01:57] And that was it.

[00:01:57] Just hit him with the oar and pull tilt.

[00:01:58] Yeah, yeah, that's why I can't sit down properly.

[00:02:01] Tilly, you are prepared.

[00:02:04] As a woman, you figure that you can be a better Santa than the Santa now.

[00:02:08] Of course, yes.

[00:02:09] Right?

[00:02:09] I'm a woman.

[00:02:10] Of course.

[00:02:11] I'll have it done in half the time of his, him.

[00:02:14] Oh, he does it in one night.

[00:02:16] Yeah, I'll do it in half a night.

[00:02:18] In an afternoon?

[00:02:20] Yes.

[00:02:21] You'll be home by bedtime.

[00:02:22] Okay.

[00:02:24] Are you a Christmas person?

[00:02:25] No, not really.

[00:02:26] I haven't been a Christmas person, but I do love the time ahead of Christmas.

[00:02:30] Oh, during December.

[00:02:31] Yeah, no, but, you know, the Advent time, when people are putting up the lights and decorating.

[00:02:37] I get that much for the food that everyone is talking about.

[00:02:40] But I do love, like, the atmosphere of Christmas.

[00:02:44] Ah, yes.

[00:02:45] By the way, because you're in Norway.

[00:02:47] You're Norwegian?

[00:02:48] Yes.

[00:02:48] Yes, I know that from the thing with the canoe.

[00:02:52] Yeah.

[00:02:52] So when you wake up in the morning at Christmas, is that when you open your presents or how does it work?

[00:02:57] No.

[00:02:58] In Norway, what we do, we celebrate Christmas on the 24th, like the night before Christmas.

[00:03:03] That's when the whole happening in Norway.

[00:03:06] So normally me and my family and my grandparents, we will go to church on the 24th.

[00:03:13] Yes.

[00:03:13] And yes, not that I'm Christian, but we will do that for traditions.

[00:03:16] Yeah.

[00:03:17] And then we'll have the whole dinner thing going on from five.

[00:03:19] And then after dinner, that's when we do the presents.

[00:03:22] So you wake up in the morning and you have your stocking.

[00:03:25] Yes.

[00:03:26] 24th.

[00:03:27] And then you have the church and everything, dinner.

[00:03:30] And then in the evening, you do all the presents.

[00:03:32] So what you call Boxing Day.

[00:03:34] Or is that 25th or 26th?

[00:03:36] That's the 26th.

[00:03:37] Well, Boxing Day is England and then St. Stephen's Day is in Ireland.

[00:03:41] That's the 26th.

[00:03:42] Yeah.

[00:03:43] Yeah.

[00:03:43] Right.

[00:03:43] So the 25th, what you call Christmas morning.

[00:03:46] We only have that as the first day of Christmas.

[00:03:49] Oh, so you don't get anything Christmas Day, but you do it on Christmas Eve.

[00:03:52] Yeah.

[00:03:53] But when you said you open them Christmas evening, evening, do you all sit around and do it one at a time?

[00:03:59] Depends on family to family.

[00:04:01] We don't have only two kids, like meets me and my brother.

[00:04:05] So there's not that many presents.

[00:04:07] And we're also adults, so it's not like a lot of toys.

[00:04:10] So we normally, because we are not that big of a family, we take one after once.

[00:04:15] We can thank each other.

[00:04:16] We can like see what we get and such.

[00:04:18] But I think a lot of families with a lot of kids and a lot of family members, they will just wrap everything up.

[00:04:25] And yeah.

[00:04:26] I mean, we, yeah, no, I'm still, I'm still the person to just open up everything.

[00:04:31] And then when you, when you walk in, if you're my mother or father, go, thanks very much for this.

[00:04:36] I'm wearing it now.

[00:04:36] Look.

[00:04:37] Yeah.

[00:04:37] No, no, no, no.

[00:04:37] You don't.

[00:04:39] Yeah.

[00:04:39] So what, thank you for, for helping me with this.

[00:04:41] Cause I wanted to try this out where we figured that Santa has kind of had his run.

[00:04:46] Right.

[00:04:47] A story I really like about Santa is, you know, how, what the hell?

[00:04:52] Sorry.

[00:04:53] I did not do that.

[00:04:54] Can you, okay.

[00:04:55] This would make no sense.

[00:04:56] Flex there again.

[00:04:57] Okay.

[00:04:58] Just, just on, on zoom.

[00:05:01] A thunderstorm just happened right beside Tilly.

[00:05:04] Yeah.

[00:05:04] While you flexed.

[00:05:05] Yeah.

[00:05:06] Very good.

[00:05:06] Very, very, very demure or however you're using it.

[00:05:10] The story I like about Santa Claus is, you know how he's based on St. Nicholas.

[00:05:14] Yes.

[00:05:16] I don't know the story of St. Nicholas though.

[00:05:18] The only story I know about him was thousands of years ago when St. Nicholas was strolling around.

[00:05:23] A lot of priests had a convention.

[00:05:25] They were figuring out some, some issues with the Bible.

[00:05:27] I think it was something around the Holy Spirit about something like that.

[00:05:31] Yeah.

[00:05:32] And then they were at this conference and it was going on for a few days.

[00:05:36] And I think St. Nicholas went there to get really drunk.

[00:05:41] Because at one point he got really annoyed that another priest was talking and just punched him and got thrown out of the convention.

[00:05:50] So there's St. Nicholas, the drunken yob who started to be a huge fight.

[00:05:55] That sounds like a guy.

[00:05:55] Yeah.

[00:05:56] Yeah.

[00:05:56] So that's come out.

[00:05:57] He's been cancelled.

[00:05:58] Naturally.

[00:05:59] You know.

[00:06:00] That's the...

[00:06:01] Imagine if people get to know this.

[00:06:03] There'll be no more Christmas.

[00:06:04] So that's why we need you instead, Tilly, to take over.

[00:06:07] Okay?

[00:06:08] Sober.

[00:06:09] Sober.

[00:06:09] If you can do it sober, you don't have to.

[00:06:12] Do you want to do it sober?

[00:06:13] Not drunk?

[00:06:13] No.

[00:06:14] I want to be able to have a drink.

[00:06:16] Yeah.

[00:06:17] What would you drink?

[00:06:18] In Norway, we have a great deal of ciders.

[00:06:21] Which I do love.

[00:06:22] Would you not feel sleepy after a cider?

[00:06:25] No.

[00:06:25] Normally not.

[00:06:26] No.

[00:06:27] Because I do wine.

[00:06:28] I only do cocktails and such.

[00:06:31] Yes.

[00:06:32] Fair enough.

[00:06:32] Fair enough.

[00:06:33] I do have questions, Sol, if you're going to be the new Santa.

[00:06:36] Because Santa is...

[00:06:38] He's keeping that title.

[00:06:39] Yeah.

[00:06:41] So if you're going to take over,

[00:06:43] we need a new name for you.

[00:06:45] So what would your name be instead of Santa Claus?

[00:06:48] That people are looking forward to.

[00:06:50] It would be very too boring, don't you think?

[00:06:53] Which would?

[00:06:55] Mrs. Claus.

[00:06:56] Oh, yeah.

[00:06:57] The Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus.

[00:06:59] I don't think she ever had a first name.

[00:07:01] They're gone.

[00:07:02] Queen.

[00:07:03] I'll be the Christmas Queen.

[00:07:04] The Christmas Queen.

[00:07:05] Ooh, I love it.

[00:07:06] Okay.

[00:07:06] So you're going royalty already to show people that...

[00:07:09] I think that's very fitting.

[00:07:10] Are you a bit worried, though,

[00:07:11] that if you're handing out presents,

[00:07:13] it comes off a little bit like Marie Antoinette.

[00:07:15] A bit...

[00:07:16] I bet her you are.

[00:07:17] She's a big idol and...

[00:07:19] Oh.

[00:07:20] A big inspiration in my life.

[00:07:21] So I can deal with that just perfectly.

[00:07:24] She was the one throwing cake at people, right?

[00:07:26] During the famine.

[00:07:27] Yes.

[00:07:27] Thanks to having a birthday party in two months

[00:07:29] where the theme is Marie Antoinette.

[00:07:31] So this is just perfect.

[00:07:32] So you're pro-royalty.

[00:07:35] Yes.

[00:07:35] Oh, cool.

[00:07:36] Cool.

[00:07:36] So you're the Christmas Queen.

[00:07:38] Yes.

[00:07:38] Sweet.

[00:07:39] And I presume...

[00:07:41] I feel like I know where this is going,

[00:07:42] but Santa obviously has this famous red suit, right?

[00:07:46] Mm-hmm.

[00:07:46] So what outfit would you wear, then,

[00:07:48] to distinguish yourself as the Christmas Queen?

[00:07:51] There will be a lot of fur.

[00:07:53] It'll be cold, right?

[00:07:54] Yeah.

[00:07:55] But you know Narnia?

[00:07:57] Yes.

[00:07:58] The Ice Queen.

[00:07:59] I think we're going something like that.

[00:08:00] A combination of the Ice Queen and Cruella de Vil.

[00:08:04] Lots of fur.

[00:08:05] Is that a bit intimidating?

[00:08:07] Maybe.

[00:08:08] I mean...

[00:08:09] To me, that's a normal everyday outfit.

[00:08:12] Is it?

[00:08:13] I do have a lot of fur, yeah.

[00:08:15] I do love that.

[00:08:17] But you're going to kill puppies.

[00:08:18] You're going to what?

[00:08:19] I do not kill puppies.

[00:08:21] No.

[00:08:22] Oh, wait.

[00:08:22] You're just saying that just for the fur.

[00:08:24] So we can make fur out of polar bears or something,

[00:08:26] but not puppies.

[00:08:27] See?

[00:08:27] Perfect.

[00:08:28] Perfect.

[00:08:29] Okay.

[00:08:29] Okay.

[00:08:30] I'm sorry.

[00:08:30] And penguin feathers.

[00:08:33] And penguins.

[00:08:34] So we're killing off polar bears and penguins to get you your suit.

[00:08:37] Just one coat.

[00:08:38] Just one coat.

[00:08:39] Yeah.

[00:08:40] Yeah.

[00:08:40] Just a few.

[00:08:41] That's not needed for that many.

[00:08:42] I mean, that's the...

[00:08:44] Jesus.

[00:08:44] Sorry.

[00:08:45] I'm just going to show you.

[00:08:46] That's the Ice Queen.

[00:08:48] Oh my God.

[00:08:48] Sorry.

[00:08:48] There's so many pop-ups after showing up.

[00:08:51] I think that's perfect.

[00:08:53] Yes.

[00:08:55] But add some fur.

[00:08:56] She is very attractive.

[00:08:58] Okay.

[00:08:59] Okay.

[00:08:59] Um...

[00:09:00] An attractive queen of Christmas.

[00:09:04] Christmas queen.

[00:09:05] Is...

[00:09:05] There we go.

[00:09:06] Is Santa Claus attractive?

[00:09:09] I think that depends on your taste in men.

[00:09:12] In my opinion, he's not...

[00:09:14] It looks more like...

[00:09:15] He will probably appeal to women and girls and men who are attracted to men who have daddy issues.

[00:09:24] Oh!

[00:09:25] Really?

[00:09:25] He has this very dad-like, uncle-like vibe to him.

[00:09:29] So yes.

[00:09:30] To me, the beard is not doing it.

[00:09:33] You're not a beard man.

[00:09:34] Or a beard woman.

[00:09:35] I'm not a beard woman, no.

[00:09:36] No.

[00:09:36] But it's more the amount of beard that he has.

[00:09:41] It's not a beard itself.

[00:09:42] It's the amount of it.

[00:09:44] Oh, so if he was more...

[00:09:45] Yeah.

[00:09:46] Yeah, like clean cut.

[00:09:47] I can do...

[00:09:48] You're good, Ryan.

[00:09:49] You have a good amount.

[00:09:50] Yeah, but Santa Claus, he has a bit too much for my taste.

[00:09:53] And with the very big belly as well, it's just not my part.

[00:09:58] No, no.

[00:09:59] Okay.

[00:10:00] So we're getting rid of old daddy issues.

[00:10:02] He's going away and we're getting the ice cream...

[00:10:04] Christmas queen in with her, yes, intimidating but well put together furry dress.

[00:10:11] Yes.

[00:10:12] Right?

[00:10:13] Okay.

[00:10:14] Right.

[00:10:14] Sorted.

[00:10:15] And I have to find me questions.

[00:10:18] Oh, yeah.

[00:10:19] Yeah, he...

[00:10:19] Santa was set up in Lapland, right?

[00:10:23] Yeah.

[00:10:24] So, I mean, you can set up your workshop or your home anywhere you want.

[00:10:29] Anywhere you want to go.

[00:10:30] Oh, Lord.

[00:10:31] Where would I do?

[00:10:32] Do you have my entire factory going on, yeah?

[00:10:35] The whole thing, yeah.

[00:10:36] The whole thing.

[00:10:37] Somewhere warm.

[00:10:38] I think we're going Los Angeles.

[00:10:41] So I'm going to put a map up here.

[00:10:42] So you want to go Los Angeles?

[00:10:44] Yeah.

[00:10:46] Just for the weather?

[00:10:47] Like, you're...

[00:10:48] Yeah.

[00:10:49] You want to be near Hollywood?

[00:10:51] I want to be near Hollywood, yes.

[00:10:53] Because then you can do lots of great promotions with the celebrities there.

[00:10:56] And so...

[00:10:57] And you get to...

[00:10:58] I go to very good events with this.

[00:11:00] So, yeah.

[00:11:00] There's a lot of connections to be done there.

[00:11:02] So you just only go apart?

[00:11:03] Oh, I suppose you're only working half an evening.

[00:11:06] Exactly.

[00:11:06] Yeah, yeah.

[00:11:07] Okay.

[00:11:07] Yeah, we'll put you right beside...

[00:11:08] I think all the marketing in advance when I think LA got that going on for them.

[00:11:12] Do you think Christmas needs any more marketing?

[00:11:15] Or like...

[00:11:16] Well, they are doing quite a big thing every year.

[00:11:18] And it just comes earlier.

[00:11:20] They do a lot more.

[00:11:22] I just think that there's a big business opportunity that's not been made fully for the whole year.

[00:11:27] I'm very bored with only working one evening a year.

[00:11:30] So I would love to have something more to do.

[00:11:33] Okay.

[00:11:34] 64 days a year.

[00:11:35] So you're...

[00:11:36] So far, you're giving Christmas a sort of a royalty capitalist makeover.

[00:11:43] Yeah.

[00:11:44] Perfect.

[00:11:44] Love it.

[00:11:45] Okay.

[00:11:45] Santa, he has a lot of elves that help him.

[00:11:49] So I'm not planning on doing the work myself.

[00:11:51] No.

[00:11:52] I'm someone, something doing it for me.

[00:11:54] You're the ideas woman, right?

[00:11:56] Yes, exactly.

[00:11:56] Exactly.

[00:11:58] Speaking of the elves, now, Santa had his collection of elves who was working for him.

[00:12:03] I don't know, is he paying him?

[00:12:04] I don't really know the employment status of him.

[00:12:06] But, I mean, you don't have to have elves.

[00:12:10] Who would you have working for you?

[00:12:12] Let's say if there was a hundred of them.

[00:12:14] Just to give a round number of people.

[00:12:19] You can have any sort.

[00:12:22] I want a hundred penguins.

[00:12:25] A hundred?

[00:12:25] A hundred?

[00:12:26] Intelligent enough penguins.

[00:12:28] Yes, yes, yes.

[00:12:29] Now you've...

[00:12:30] In my Christmas world, they can also talk.

[00:12:33] Yeah, yeah.

[00:12:33] Have a little bit more functional wings.

[00:12:36] Yes.

[00:12:36] That can handle more details.

[00:12:38] Yes.

[00:12:39] So...

[00:12:40] A hundred penguins.

[00:12:41] Why penguins?

[00:12:42] They look like they wear suits.

[00:12:44] So I don't need to wear anything for uniforms or anything.

[00:12:47] And they will look very stylish just walking around there.

[00:12:49] And I can be the ice queen with my fur.

[00:12:53] Of penguins.

[00:12:54] Exactly.

[00:12:54] Are you sure it's not a conflicting message to the talking penguins that you've like...

[00:12:59] You're wearing some of them?

[00:13:02] They need to fear me just a little bit.

[00:13:04] Just a little bit.

[00:13:05] Yeah.

[00:13:05] Yeah.

[00:13:05] They do not fear me.

[00:13:06] Yeah.

[00:13:07] And you're, of course, making the choice to put it in that they need to fear you.

[00:13:11] Like, they could just love you, but you're deciding, no, fear is important.

[00:13:15] Well, the thing is, we can just do the fur without the penguins, maybe, when I think

[00:13:21] about it.

[00:13:21] So the penguin loves me.

[00:13:22] Yeah.

[00:13:23] If I can go back on my previous choices.

[00:13:26] We'll do it the one time, because it's Christmas.

[00:13:28] We'll do it the one time.

[00:13:28] Yeah.

[00:13:29] Yeah.

[00:13:30] I don't have anything penguin.

[00:13:31] They just love me.

[00:13:32] And I'm wearing just normal fur.

[00:13:34] So your fur is now made of polar bears, which is the, like, natural predator of the penguin.

[00:13:41] Are they?

[00:13:42] I'm making that...

[00:13:42] Yeah, yeah, they're...

[00:13:43] So, I mean, is that your backstory, that you slaughtered a few?

[00:13:46] Yes.

[00:13:46] And then, there you go.

[00:13:48] And that's why they follow me, because I killed the most powerful polar bear family

[00:13:53] that ever was at the North Pole when I went there to challenge Santa.

[00:13:58] The family was called the Clintons?

[00:14:00] Yes, also known as.

[00:14:01] Okay.

[00:14:02] So now you've moved them to LA in temperature, warfully unsuited to penguins, but they're fine.

[00:14:08] They've managed.

[00:14:09] But there are penguins that do live in very warm climate.

[00:14:13] And also, these are talking penguins.

[00:14:16] Yeah, yeah.

[00:14:17] They can regulate to do a climate.

[00:14:20] They know what they're doing.

[00:14:22] Yeah, no, these are good.

[00:14:24] Okay, so we have penguins making the toys and stuff.

[00:14:28] Can I ask, Santa always made sure that it was kids who got presents, right?

[00:14:34] Good kids.

[00:14:35] Yeah.

[00:14:35] Are you making any changes?

[00:14:37] Are you...

[00:14:38] Is it only kids getting presents?

[00:14:39] Is it everyone?

[00:14:40] Is it only good people?

[00:14:42] Yeah.

[00:14:42] I can extend my working hours from one evening to the whole full night like Santa Claus did.

[00:14:50] But we're adding in the adults.

[00:14:52] Well, there are so many unhappy people out there in the age way beyond 20 who would love to have some materialistic present in their lives.

[00:14:59] Yes.

[00:15:00] So, no.

[00:15:01] This Christmas queen is delivering presents to everyone.

[00:15:05] Is for all.

[00:15:06] Yes.

[00:15:07] Oh, lovely.

[00:15:07] Okay.

[00:15:08] So everyone who's nice is getting a present.

[00:15:10] Yeah.

[00:15:11] And from my dating history, I would assume a few of the naughty ones as well.

[00:15:14] I don't know what that means.

[00:15:16] Wait, what?

[00:15:17] That I date the wrong kind of men.

[00:15:19] Yeah.

[00:15:20] But you still buy them presents.

[00:15:21] I'm still nice to them, yes.

[00:15:23] And if I'm being the Christmas queen, what do I have to lose?

[00:15:26] I know this is getting completely off.

[00:15:27] So, wait, wait, the dating thing.

[00:15:29] I'm just saying that.

[00:15:30] There's guys who aren't nice.

[00:15:32] But once you find out they aren't nice, you still get them presents?

[00:15:35] Or you don't once you find out they're not nice?

[00:15:37] As a Christmas queen?

[00:15:39] Yeah.

[00:15:39] They will get presents.

[00:15:41] Oh, they're very nice.

[00:15:41] It's good to know how me as a private person is, when I'm not on here, I'm not a Christmas queen.

[00:15:47] Yeah.

[00:15:47] So, due to that, I would say that given my general history of how I treat people who are not as nice as they could be,

[00:15:55] I will probably, as Christmas queen, be giving out presents also to naughty people.

[00:16:00] Oh, okay.

[00:16:01] Evil people are not getting shit.

[00:16:03] Oh, wait.

[00:16:04] So you have evil, naughty, and nice.

[00:16:06] Yes.

[00:16:07] And evil people are not getting anything.

[00:16:08] Okay.

[00:16:09] Evil get nothing.

[00:16:09] Actually, I can ask about that because you know how Santa was lazy.

[00:16:13] He only had a nice and naughty list, right?

[00:16:16] Yeah.

[00:16:16] You have nice, naughty, and evil.

[00:16:19] Yes.

[00:16:19] That's much better.

[00:16:22] In Santa's list, naughty people usually got coal, I think.

[00:16:26] Right?

[00:16:26] He'd give them a lump of coal, which would be really handy for people who need a source of fuel.

[00:16:31] But what would you give to people who are on the evil list?

[00:16:35] If it's not coal, is there anything else to punish them with a present?

[00:16:38] Hmm.

[00:16:40] Maybe if we go to their unconsciousness and find the most traumatic moment of their life.

[00:16:46] You'd get your penguins to perform an Inception.

[00:16:48] Yes.

[00:16:49] Yes, indeed I will.

[00:16:51] And then I'll have them make a hologram of that episode going in front of them.

[00:16:56] Like it will pop up like a troll in the box.

[00:16:58] Oh.

[00:16:59] It will just be a hologram of that moment so they can start crying on Christmas Eve.

[00:17:03] That's for the evil people.

[00:17:05] So let's say I'm an evil person.

[00:17:07] I wake up Christmas Eve.

[00:17:09] You're doing this Christmas Eve, not Christmas Day.

[00:17:11] Just everyone is getting a Christmas.

[00:17:12] Okay.

[00:17:13] Okay.

[00:17:14] And then when I wake up Christmas Eve, I open my present and up flashes the moment I fell into the lake and you don't save me with the canoe.

[00:17:23] Yes.

[00:17:24] Ah.

[00:17:25] Oh my God.

[00:17:26] It's like I'm drowning.

[00:17:26] It's like a very traumatic childhood or anything like that.

[00:17:30] The most traumatic, the most horrific moment of your life.

[00:17:34] And it won't stop.

[00:17:36] Once you open the box, it cannot close.

[00:17:38] So for the rest of my days, I am just reliving drowning.

[00:17:42] That's for the very evil ones.

[00:17:43] That's just for the evil ones.

[00:17:44] Okay.

[00:17:45] For the naughty ones, what do they get?

[00:17:46] They get presents as well.

[00:17:47] Yeah, but they don't get the most expensive ones and not the most hard work.

[00:17:50] My penguins do work quite hard on these presents.

[00:17:54] Yeah.

[00:17:54] So it's not the one that they put their soul into.

[00:17:57] It's more like the general ones.

[00:17:59] Yeah.

[00:18:00] So like if I'm looking for...

[00:18:01] If you need, I would say.

[00:18:03] Those silly things that you're like, I'm happy I got it.

[00:18:06] Like an electrical toothbrush.

[00:18:08] They work like that.

[00:18:10] And like, I'm happy I got it because I needed it.

[00:18:12] But I wanted a new phone or a camera or whatever.

[00:18:16] So let's say I'm on the naughty list and I asked for a Manchester United jersey.

[00:18:20] And then I open her up and what would I get?

[00:18:22] Is there anything you need?

[00:18:24] A job in Oslo?

[00:18:25] That's too good.

[00:18:26] That's way too good.

[00:18:27] That's way too good.

[00:18:28] No, what you would get would be a map of Oslo.

[00:18:32] And like point to that.

[00:18:33] There are free positions.

[00:18:36] Oh, I know a few people.

[00:18:37] Okay.

[00:18:38] Yeah, I suppose it's handy.

[00:18:39] That's what you would get.

[00:18:40] Okay.

[00:18:40] And people are like, I don't know what I want.

[00:18:42] I guess I need this.

[00:18:43] They will get like the toothbrush.

[00:18:46] Or they would get like, I don't know, a pair of mountain shoes or whatever.

[00:18:52] A pair of mountain shoes sounds nice.

[00:18:53] But yeah, I get what you mean.

[00:18:54] And then nice people get.

[00:18:55] Something you don't really want to buy yourself.

[00:18:57] But you would love to just do it any other day than Christmas.

[00:19:00] Fair enough.

[00:19:01] Yeah.

[00:19:01] This is very good.

[00:19:02] Socks.

[00:19:02] Yeah.

[00:19:02] I don't mind socks.

[00:19:05] Okay.

[00:19:05] So, you know, you are giving out presents all in one evening.

[00:19:09] Well, all in one night.

[00:19:12] The night before Christmas Eve.

[00:19:14] You're throwing presents under the tree for everyone.

[00:19:16] I can be a little bit deliberate and do go for the Irish, British, American version.

[00:19:22] Oh, whichever you want.

[00:19:23] Do you want to do it that way?

[00:19:24] And so Christmas Eve.

[00:19:25] Probably easier and less logistics going on.

[00:19:27] Given the fact that the list, like the route is already made and like the timings are all done.

[00:19:33] So you stick.

[00:19:33] Yeah.

[00:19:34] Santa did get that right.

[00:19:35] Fair play to him.

[00:19:36] And then.

[00:19:37] Okay.

[00:19:37] So.

[00:19:38] Start with those countries celebrating Christmas like we do Norway.

[00:19:42] And then you work around.

[00:19:43] Okay.

[00:19:44] So then I get it.

[00:19:45] Then you are doing that all in one night though.

[00:19:47] You'll manage that.

[00:19:48] And you'll throw in all the adults as well.

[00:19:50] So that's fine.

[00:19:51] You'll work better.

[00:19:52] Woman works twice as fast as a.

[00:19:53] Yeah.

[00:19:54] Yeah.

[00:19:54] Okay.

[00:19:55] Well, so.

[00:19:56] Oh, can I ask you just to advise people.

[00:20:00] Three ways to get on the Christmas Queens nice list.

[00:20:04] Be kind to everyone around you.

[00:20:07] Yes.

[00:20:08] Always take the highway.

[00:20:10] High road.

[00:20:11] Always take the highway.

[00:20:14] High road.

[00:20:14] Impossible.

[00:20:15] High road.

[00:20:15] Okay.

[00:20:16] Take the high road.

[00:20:17] High road.

[00:20:18] Oh, like turn the other cheek.

[00:20:20] I don't be a bitch is basically what I'm saying.

[00:20:24] Okay.

[00:20:26] Okay.

[00:20:27] Be kind also to the like, if you're being kind to everyone, I'm doing mean like, do you

[00:20:31] say hello to those who are begging on the street?

[00:20:34] Like you have to do that.

[00:20:35] You have to see people around you and take yourself time to like acknowledge that there

[00:20:41] are other people than those you're planning to meet and such around you.

[00:20:45] Always turn the other cheek if possible.

[00:20:47] There are some people who do not deserve you to do that, but you will know by your gut feeling.

[00:21:20] Okay.

[00:21:21] I didn't say that.

[00:21:22] Nice person having sex.

[00:21:24] Be nice while you're having sex.

[00:21:26] You can fuck around.

[00:21:28] Just don't fuck with people.

[00:21:29] Okay, so if you're fucking around,

[00:21:32] say hello to people while you're having sex with them

[00:21:34] and be kind and turn the other cheek

[00:21:37] when they request.

[00:21:39] First of all, be nice.

[00:21:41] Yeah.

[00:21:42] Feed people around you,

[00:21:43] not only the people you want to fuck,

[00:21:45] but also the poor people around you.

[00:21:47] Second, if you were to be treated bad

[00:21:50] by some fuckboy or fuckgirl,

[00:21:51] do turn the other cheek

[00:21:52] and you just feel like,

[00:21:54] you know what?

[00:21:55] You probably have your issues.

[00:21:57] I now acknowledge that you have something unsorted

[00:22:01] that you have to deal with

[00:22:03] that I will not be dealing with anymore,

[00:22:05] but I'm sorry that it has to be this way.

[00:22:07] Yes.

[00:22:09] If you are having sex with people casually,

[00:22:13] which is totally fine,

[00:22:15] you can do that.

[00:22:16] You just need to be honest with your intentions.

[00:22:18] Yes.

[00:22:19] Okay.

[00:22:20] I guess that's what we're trying to say.

[00:22:21] Be honest.

[00:22:22] Be honest.

[00:22:23] They're under the umbrella of being honest, right?

[00:22:25] Yeah.

[00:22:26] Okay.

[00:22:26] Okay.

[00:22:27] So then I should say,

[00:22:29] I'll just do the naughty list.

[00:22:31] Just,

[00:22:31] is there three other ways to be on the naughty list?

[00:22:34] Be a dickhead.

[00:22:35] In what way?

[00:22:36] Give me an example.

[00:22:37] Be selfish

[00:22:40] and narcissistic

[00:22:42] and yeah,

[00:22:43] don't take anyone's feelings into consideration.

[00:22:46] Okay.

[00:22:46] So that's,

[00:22:47] are we including,

[00:22:48] that's the three things to do,

[00:22:49] not do,

[00:22:49] or well,

[00:22:50] the three things to do to be on that list.

[00:22:52] Yeah.

[00:22:52] That's,

[00:22:53] that will be on the naughty list.

[00:22:55] Yeah.

[00:22:55] Yeah.

[00:22:56] And the evil thing is.

[00:22:57] Wait,

[00:22:57] which is the evil thing?

[00:22:58] Those would be the one doing war.

[00:23:01] Oh yeah.

[00:23:01] People.

[00:23:02] Kicking animals.

[00:23:04] Yes.

[00:23:04] Yeah.

[00:23:06] Those who kick the children,

[00:23:07] kick animals

[00:23:08] and do take away people's rights.

[00:23:10] Those are people who are on the evil list.

[00:23:13] What if,

[00:23:14] Trump is not getting anything.

[00:23:15] What if it's someone who took away

[00:23:20] a woman's right

[00:23:21] to order her own takeaway,

[00:23:26] but they have a charity for children?

[00:23:29] Naughty list.

[00:23:30] Oh,

[00:23:31] so it evens out.

[00:23:32] Oh,

[00:23:32] evil,

[00:23:33] evil.

[00:23:33] Oh,

[00:23:34] okay.

[00:23:35] What?

[00:23:35] That's hypocrite.

[00:23:36] But what if they're like,

[00:23:37] no,

[00:23:37] I like kids.

[00:23:38] I just don't like women.

[00:23:39] Then you're still evil.

[00:23:40] Oh,

[00:23:40] okay.

[00:23:41] Fair enough.

[00:23:41] Who are you to judge?

[00:23:43] I'm a man.

[00:23:44] Yeah,

[00:23:44] exactly.

[00:23:45] Well,

[00:23:46] actually maybe men don't get anything.

[00:23:47] What?

[00:23:48] Maybe it's not evil list,

[00:23:49] just men.

[00:23:50] No,

[00:23:50] I'm just kidding.

[00:23:51] Oh,

[00:23:51] yay.

[00:23:51] Okay,

[00:23:51] good.

[00:23:53] I,

[00:23:54] okay.

[00:23:54] So that's the way you get onto the list of the nice and naughty and evil.

[00:23:58] Okay.

[00:23:59] You know how Santa has Mrs. Claus?

[00:24:02] Yeah.

[00:24:03] Does Mrs. Claus have a name?

[00:24:04] I don't know.

[00:24:05] Yeah.

[00:24:06] Bit of a pity,

[00:24:06] isn't it?

[00:24:07] Yeah.

[00:24:07] Do you want a Mr.

[00:24:09] or Mrs.

[00:24:10] Christmas Queen?

[00:24:11] No.

[00:24:12] No?

[00:24:13] No.

[00:24:14] Why not?

[00:24:15] You seem very like,

[00:24:17] just,

[00:24:17] you know.

[00:24:18] I've been alone for quite some time and whenever there is anyone else bothered to be in this

[00:24:24] situation,

[00:24:26] it's just messes up things and my peace and quiet.

[00:24:29] I mean,

[00:24:30] it could be a very charming penguin.

[00:24:32] I do a lot of weird things and I have a lot of weird hobbies and such,

[00:24:36] but I do not want to be with a penguin.

[00:24:39] You don't want to be getting that rumor going?

[00:24:41] No,

[00:24:41] I do not.

[00:24:42] No.

[00:24:43] Okay.

[00:24:43] Okay.

[00:24:43] I can deal with a lot of rumors,

[00:24:45] but no,

[00:24:46] not fucking penguins.

[00:24:48] Okay.

[00:24:49] So,

[00:24:49] you don't want any Mr.

[00:24:51] or Mrs.

[00:24:52] Christmas Queen?

[00:24:53] No,

[00:24:53] because he will probably be like,

[00:24:54] I want to be the king of Christmas.

[00:24:56] And I'll be like,

[00:24:57] no,

[00:24:57] that's my,

[00:24:58] that's my job.

[00:24:59] You don't think there's any guy in the world who would be like,

[00:25:02] no,

[00:25:02] I'm probably happy.

[00:25:04] Like they would be,

[00:25:05] what's the word?

[00:25:06] Secure enough.

[00:25:07] They have their own thing going on.

[00:25:09] Well,

[00:25:09] if he gets with me,

[00:25:10] he has to.

[00:25:11] But he,

[00:25:12] he can be Mr.

[00:25:14] Christmas,

[00:25:14] if anything.

[00:25:16] Oh yeah.

[00:25:16] Not the king part.

[00:25:17] No.

[00:25:18] No,

[00:25:18] no,

[00:25:18] no,

[00:25:18] no.

[00:25:19] Prince Christmas.

[00:25:20] If he really,

[00:25:20] like,

[00:25:21] like,

[00:25:22] like Prince Philip.

[00:25:23] You could just call him Prince Philip.

[00:25:25] Yeah.

[00:25:25] So Philip Schofield could be someone that you could have.

[00:25:29] Probably.

[00:25:30] Yeah.

[00:25:30] And have confidence to be with the queen of Christmas.

[00:25:34] Christmas.

[00:25:35] You'd have to,

[00:25:35] yeah,

[00:25:35] you'd be able to sort that out within 10 seconds of meeting them.

[00:25:38] Right.

[00:25:38] Um,

[00:25:39] okay.

[00:25:40] So,

[00:25:41] you know how Santa left with all his reindeers when Rudolph,

[00:25:46] they went off to retire.

[00:25:48] How would you travel around the world?

[00:25:50] Oh,

[00:25:51] that's a hard one.

[00:25:52] That's a really fun one.

[00:25:54] You can decide how you travel.

[00:25:56] Oh,

[00:25:57] what do I want?

[00:25:58] Cause I can fly,

[00:25:59] right?

[00:26:00] I can do like with,

[00:26:01] but I hear you're magical.

[00:26:02] Yeah.

[00:26:03] Shit.

[00:26:04] What are we doing?

[00:26:05] I know it.

[00:26:06] I know.

[00:26:07] I'm having a pink carriage because that's my,

[00:26:10] that's my color.

[00:26:11] Yeah.

[00:26:12] Yeah.

[00:26:12] And it's,

[00:26:13] um,

[00:26:14] it's elephants dragging it.

[00:26:17] Jesus.

[00:26:18] Three elephants.

[00:26:20] Three elephants.

[00:26:20] Why three?

[00:26:21] That's very specific.

[00:26:22] Do you have names?

[00:26:23] Because there can only be one.

[00:26:25] That's too much of a job for one.

[00:26:27] Yeah.

[00:26:28] And two,

[00:26:29] it just looks silly.

[00:26:30] And three is a magical number.

[00:26:32] Oh,

[00:26:32] good.

[00:26:32] Yeah,

[00:26:32] yeah,

[00:26:32] yeah.

[00:26:33] Yeah.

[00:26:33] And for names.

[00:26:35] Yeah.

[00:26:36] That would be,

[00:26:37] oh no,

[00:26:38] no,

[00:26:38] can't do that.

[00:26:39] No,

[00:26:39] that's not enough.

[00:26:41] Um,

[00:26:41] no.

[00:26:42] What we will call them is Hugo.

[00:26:44] Hugo.

[00:26:45] And,

[00:26:45] um,

[00:26:46] Darren.

[00:26:47] Darren.

[00:26:48] Don't,

[00:26:49] don't judge me.

[00:26:50] Okay.

[00:26:50] This is very exotic in Norway.

[00:26:52] No one's called Darren.

[00:26:53] Okay.

[00:26:54] Don't stop with me.

[00:26:56] Okay.

[00:26:56] Darren,

[00:26:57] Darren and Hugo.

[00:26:58] Yeah.

[00:26:58] And Hugo.

[00:26:59] And,

[00:27:00] um,

[00:27:01] um,

[00:27:01] the last one,

[00:27:02] I had a really good name,

[00:27:03] but I don't know how to pronounce it.

[00:27:05] Sajay.

[00:27:06] Sajay.

[00:27:07] Sajay,

[00:27:09] Sajay,

[00:27:09] Darren and Hugo.

[00:27:10] Can I ask,

[00:27:11] and I'm not judging in any way,

[00:27:14] are these three X's?

[00:27:17] No.

[00:27:18] Okay.

[00:27:18] That's just,

[00:27:19] just,

[00:27:20] I'm just making sure.

[00:27:21] You think anything like that,

[00:27:24] but I would hide back.

[00:27:27] I just don't,

[00:27:28] I don't understand where the names came from,

[00:27:30] but that's fine.

[00:27:31] I don't have to.

[00:27:31] That's not my position.

[00:27:33] I just like for.

[00:27:34] Once you command.

[00:27:35] Yeah,

[00:27:35] that's what they are.

[00:27:36] Yeah.

[00:27:37] and Dumbo would be too lame.

[00:27:40] Yeah.

[00:27:40] Yeah.

[00:27:41] No,

[00:27:41] no,

[00:27:41] no,

[00:27:41] no,

[00:27:41] no,

[00:27:43] no,

[00:27:43] that's good.

[00:27:44] So Sajay,

[00:27:45] Darren and Hugo are dragging you across the world in your massive pink carriage.

[00:27:50] Pretty sweet.

[00:27:50] Cause that,

[00:27:51] that carriage is kitted out.

[00:27:52] Right.

[00:27:53] Um,

[00:27:54] so in your pink carriage,

[00:27:56] I do.

[00:27:56] Ooh,

[00:27:57] Ooh,

[00:27:57] you have like,

[00:27:58] this is,

[00:27:58] this is your,

[00:27:59] you're flying in style,

[00:28:01] right?

[00:28:01] Yes.

[00:28:02] Yes.

[00:28:03] So what do you like?

[00:28:03] Is there anything in it that you want to make sure that,

[00:28:06] you know,

[00:28:07] you're,

[00:28:07] you're comfortable while you're going around the world?

[00:28:09] Oh,

[00:28:09] that's a good question.

[00:28:11] Home cinema.

[00:28:12] Hmm.

[00:28:12] Home cinema.

[00:28:13] I don't really care that much for films to watch them when I have a lot of time.

[00:28:18] I can't concentrate.

[00:28:20] I would have to be able to,

[00:28:23] like there's need to be a very comfortable couch.

[00:28:26] Yeah.

[00:28:27] Naturally.

[00:28:28] Naturally.

[00:28:28] Yeah.

[00:28:29] If I'm able to scroll on Tik TOK and Snapchat and Instagram while I do it,

[00:28:34] then I need wifi.

[00:28:36] Yeah.

[00:28:37] Yeah.

[00:28:37] Oh,

[00:28:37] geez.

[00:28:37] Yeah.

[00:28:37] And what I need,

[00:28:40] and this is very,

[00:28:41] very important or else no one's getting Christmas.

[00:28:43] No one's getting anything.

[00:28:44] If I don't have this.

[00:28:45] Right.

[00:28:46] I need for 24 hours,

[00:28:48] every Christmas,

[00:28:49] I need a big refrigerator filled up with Red Bull and not the ones that everyone has,

[00:28:57] not the blue ones and not the sugar free ones.

[00:28:59] I want the ones with specific,

[00:29:01] with the different flavors.

[00:29:03] I need the one with watermelon,

[00:29:05] the one with peach,

[00:29:06] dragon fruit.

[00:29:07] And,

[00:29:08] um,

[00:29:09] the one with,

[00:29:10] what's it called?

[00:29:12] Um,

[00:29:13] apricots.

[00:29:14] No,

[00:29:15] I need nuts.

[00:29:16] Yeah.

[00:29:16] You don't handle that.

[00:29:17] No one's getting anything.

[00:29:18] So that's the main job for the penguins at Christmas morning or Christmas Eve.

[00:29:23] Yes.

[00:29:23] If that's not in it.

[00:29:24] Okay.

[00:29:25] That's very pressure.

[00:29:26] Yeah.

[00:29:26] Yeah.

[00:29:27] But I'm sure they have that well prepared.

[00:29:28] Or else we'll have a whole new Christmas story about how I ended Christmas.

[00:29:34] Christmas queen lost her shit one evening.

[00:29:37] Yes.

[00:29:39] Um,

[00:29:39] what did I get through that night?

[00:29:41] Hey,

[00:29:41] I don't know.

[00:29:42] I,

[00:29:42] have you taught her this,

[00:29:43] but when you said that your,

[00:29:45] your pink carriage is going to be,

[00:29:47] um,

[00:29:49] kitted out with a load of Red Bull and it's going to have a big,

[00:29:52] nice couch and wifi and everything.

[00:29:54] Something that Santa,

[00:29:55] I don't think ever does.

[00:29:56] You could have friends tag along.

[00:29:58] That's the thing.

[00:29:59] Cause that's why if,

[00:30:00] if I couldn't,

[00:30:01] that's why I needed a wifi thing.

[00:30:03] Well,

[00:30:03] I don't want to bother people for that many hours just to come hang out with me.

[00:30:08] Yeah.

[00:30:08] But,

[00:30:09] well,

[00:30:10] actually I'm thinking of a different,

[00:30:12] like,

[00:30:12] let's say if you said to myself and Celine,

[00:30:14] Hey,

[00:30:14] do you want to,

[00:30:15] do you want to come out for the night?

[00:30:16] I have to drop out a lot of presents.

[00:30:18] You can just hang out.

[00:30:20] Yeah.

[00:30:20] Yeah.

[00:30:20] True.

[00:30:21] True.

[00:30:21] You get a free flight across the world for an evening.

[00:30:24] When you put it like that,

[00:30:25] it doesn't sound that bad.

[00:30:27] Yes.

[00:30:27] But then you have to jump in and out every 10 minutes or.

[00:30:30] Hey,

[00:30:31] that's where the issue comes in.

[00:30:32] But again,

[00:30:33] you have a magical way of doing that as well.

[00:30:36] I'm not going through anyone's pipeline.

[00:30:38] That's for sure.

[00:30:39] I was going to ask,

[00:30:40] I think that's the next question I had.

[00:30:44] Let me see where I actually wrote it down.

[00:30:46] I would love to bring my friends.

[00:30:48] Yeah.

[00:30:48] You,

[00:30:48] if you brought your friends that'd make it so much easier.

[00:30:50] So you're,

[00:30:52] when you're delivering the presents,

[00:30:54] usually Santa jumps down through the chimney magically.

[00:30:57] Magically.

[00:30:57] And then puts presents in under the tree.

[00:31:00] How are you doing it?

[00:31:01] Are you,

[00:31:01] are you just teleporting into the house?

[00:31:04] Are you coming in some other way?

[00:31:05] Actually,

[00:31:06] in the,

[00:31:07] in,

[00:31:07] when we are recording this,

[00:31:09] I recently watched Wicked.

[00:31:11] Yes.

[00:31:12] Yes.

[00:31:12] A new movie with Ariana Grande and so on.

[00:31:15] And in that movie,

[00:31:16] Ariana Grande,

[00:31:17] she is,

[00:31:18] um,

[00:31:19] um,

[00:31:20] she is arriving in a big bubble that carries her around.

[00:31:25] Right.

[00:31:25] That she just flies around in.

[00:31:31] And I'm just going to be like,

[00:31:33] baby.

[00:31:34] bobbity.

[00:31:34] Boom.

[00:31:35] And then,

[00:31:35] Oh,

[00:31:37] goes on into the house down the chimney.

[00:31:39] It goes.

[00:31:40] And then it magically does the thing.

[00:31:42] Oh,

[00:31:42] very cool.

[00:31:43] So you didn't even need to leave the carriage.

[00:31:44] You just have little cameras pointing out the houses and go,

[00:31:46] bippity,

[00:31:47] bippity,

[00:31:47] boppity boom.

[00:31:48] And of course me and my friends who's now coming along with me,

[00:31:51] we will have to bring one or two.

[00:31:52] I think two is the safest of the penguins in case of technical issues.

[00:31:57] Oh,

[00:31:57] they have to run down and,

[00:31:59] ah,

[00:32:00] yes.

[00:32:00] Work.

[00:32:01] And if there are anything stuck or anything,

[00:32:03] we need to have like professional.

[00:32:05] Are the penguins good fun to hang around as well?

[00:32:07] You said they talk.

[00:32:08] Oh,

[00:32:08] they love me.

[00:32:10] But that's the way they're,

[00:32:10] they're good.

[00:32:11] They're,

[00:32:11] they're,

[00:32:12] they're fun.

[00:32:12] Like they're.

[00:32:13] Yeah.

[00:32:14] Oh yeah.

[00:32:15] Yeah.

[00:32:15] Yeah.

[00:32:16] Good.

[00:32:16] They are my penguins.

[00:32:17] Of course they're fun.

[00:32:18] Of course they're cool.

[00:32:19] Okay.

[00:32:19] Yes.

[00:32:20] I like it.

[00:32:20] I,

[00:32:20] I'd be very excited to tag along and hang out with penguins and.

[00:32:23] I'll let you know when this is going.

[00:32:25] This is.

[00:32:26] Online.

[00:32:26] Yeah.

[00:32:27] This is,

[00:32:27] this is good.

[00:32:28] You know how people say,

[00:32:31] um,

[00:32:32] you better watch out.

[00:32:33] You better not cry.

[00:32:34] Better not pout.

[00:32:35] I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town.

[00:32:37] What would you finish it?

[00:32:39] If they said,

[00:32:40] you better watch out.

[00:32:41] You better not cry.

[00:32:42] Better not pout.

[00:32:42] I'm telling you why Christmas queen is.

[00:32:46] Coming tonight.

[00:32:47] I'm not sure if I get that.

[00:32:49] What you,

[00:32:49] what you want from me now.

[00:32:51] Sorry.

[00:32:51] So I suppose what I'm saying is that what would you want them to,

[00:32:55] um,

[00:32:56] watch out for and not cry about or pout because you're able to do something.

[00:33:00] Like in this case,

[00:33:01] Santa Claus is coming to town.

[00:33:03] That's why they better not pout.

[00:33:04] What would Christmas queen do to tell people like,

[00:33:08] yeah,

[00:33:08] you better not pout because she's going to do this.

[00:33:10] It would be the same.

[00:33:11] Wouldn't it?

[00:33:12] Would it just be the same?

[00:33:14] yeah,

[00:33:14] you're not allowed.

[00:33:15] Yeah.

[00:33:15] You,

[00:33:15] you can't be,

[00:33:16] can't be pouting,

[00:33:17] can't be complaining.

[00:33:18] When you're working.

[00:33:19] Yeah.

[00:33:19] Can't be a bitch.

[00:33:22] Um,

[00:33:23] that's not allowed.

[00:33:24] No.

[00:33:25] Yeah.

[00:33:26] And since I can see everything and notice when you're sleeping and know when you're awake.

[00:33:31] You still have that ability.

[00:33:32] Yeah,

[00:33:32] of course.

[00:33:33] Would you not feel a bit creepy?

[00:33:35] I know when they're sleeping.

[00:33:37] I'm not watching them.

[00:33:39] It's like,

[00:33:40] I see.

[00:33:40] I see.

[00:33:41] Like a green light and red light.

[00:33:43] Green light means awake.

[00:33:45] A red light means off.

[00:33:46] Yeah.

[00:33:47] Yeah.

[00:33:47] Yeah.

[00:33:47] You don't see what they're doing or what.

[00:33:49] Okay.

[00:33:50] Okay.

[00:33:50] What people are doing.

[00:33:51] Thank you very much.

[00:33:52] Perfect.

[00:33:52] That's great.

[00:33:53] That'll be a relief.

[00:33:54] I would love not to know.

[00:33:55] Yeah.

[00:33:56] Um,

[00:33:56] you know how Santa says,

[00:33:58] ho,

[00:33:58] ho,

[00:33:59] ho.

[00:33:59] Yeah.

[00:34:00] As he's traveling through the sky.

[00:34:02] I'll just do that.

[00:34:03] You'll do what?

[00:34:04] That evil laugh.

[00:34:05] Do you want to give it another go there?

[00:34:06] Another blast as you go through the sky?

[00:34:10] It is a bit ice queen evil though.

[00:34:13] Are you sure you don't have any evil tendencies?

[00:34:16] Never said that.

[00:34:18] Oh.

[00:34:18] Never said that.

[00:34:19] I'm sorry.

[00:34:20] I assumed.

[00:34:21] And I shouldn't have.

[00:34:23] Nice doesn't mean that I'm fully,

[00:34:25] completely nice now.

[00:34:27] So what,

[00:34:28] what,

[00:34:28] what evil thing are you planning?

[00:34:30] Well,

[00:34:30] there are a few people on the evil list that I'm,

[00:34:32] that not,

[00:34:33] doesn't get anything.

[00:34:34] Just,

[00:34:36] I don't know.

[00:34:38] Something worse than the hologram of the childhood death,

[00:34:42] for example.

[00:34:43] Are you murdering them?

[00:34:44] Maybe.

[00:34:45] Could be.

[00:34:45] How are you going to murder them?

[00:34:47] The penguins?

[00:34:48] No,

[00:34:48] that one I would love to do for myself.

[00:34:50] What?

[00:34:51] The murdering.

[00:34:52] I would love to do that myself.

[00:34:53] Oh,

[00:34:53] yeah,

[00:34:54] yeah,

[00:34:54] yeah.

[00:34:54] You can fly down if you want.

[00:34:55] Yeah.

[00:34:56] Yeah.

[00:34:56] No,

[00:34:57] I think we're going to do something very painful for the most evil one.

[00:35:01] It's embalmment.

[00:35:02] Yeah.

[00:35:03] Would you do a Christmas themed,

[00:35:04] like strangle them with tinfoil?

[00:35:06] Not tinfoil.

[00:35:08] That's the word.

[00:35:09] Yeah.

[00:35:09] Yeah.

[00:35:10] No,

[00:35:11] I have so many other great ideas that are like a year round thing,

[00:35:14] like pulling out their nails.

[00:35:16] Oh.

[00:35:17] And then off the genitals.

[00:35:18] Those kinds of things.

[00:35:19] I would love to do that.

[00:35:20] You can do that.

[00:35:21] You'll find time.

[00:35:22] You said you have a year.

[00:35:23] And then,

[00:35:24] and then,

[00:35:25] just to pop it all off with the Christmas spirit.

[00:35:29] Yeah.

[00:35:29] We just shoot them with the lights from the Christmas lights.

[00:35:33] Just the lights of cold ones.

[00:35:36] You shoot them with them?

[00:35:37] Yeah.

[00:35:38] And it's been very infected,

[00:35:40] long,

[00:35:41] slow death.

[00:35:44] Yeah.

[00:35:44] And do you want that winning smile makes it worth it?

[00:35:48] Yeah,

[00:35:48] that's lovely.

[00:35:49] Okay.

[00:35:50] So you're murdering.

[00:35:51] He's smiling very happily and wishing them a very Merry Christmas.

[00:35:54] Yes.

[00:35:55] So while we're all on your pink carriage flying around,

[00:35:58] having a lovely time,

[00:35:59] every so often you'll be like,

[00:36:00] I have to go down there and do something.

[00:36:02] Murder,

[00:36:02] murder,

[00:36:03] murder.

[00:36:03] Hold on a second.

[00:36:04] I'll be right back.

[00:36:05] Just give me a minute.

[00:36:06] Yeah.

[00:36:07] And then drop,

[00:36:08] drop.

[00:36:08] And,

[00:36:09] um,

[00:36:09] bye now.

[00:36:10] And bye now.

[00:36:11] And you're done.

[00:36:11] Okay.

[00:36:12] Yeah.

[00:36:12] And hopefully the more years you do it,

[00:36:15] the less years you'll have to.

[00:36:18] Then I only have an isolate.

[00:36:19] And then you have a nice list.

[00:36:20] Okay.

[00:36:21] Um,

[00:36:21] or the naughty list when people actually need stuff.

[00:36:23] Yeah.

[00:36:24] But then at a lot,

[00:36:25] in the end,

[00:36:26] in the end,

[00:36:27] people will stop being naughty.

[00:36:29] They will stop being fuck boys and fuck girls.

[00:36:32] Um,

[00:36:32] stop messing around,

[00:36:33] being dishonest because they want something more fun than a toothbrush.

[00:36:36] Toothbrush.

[00:36:37] Yes.

[00:36:38] So in the end,

[00:36:39] after maybe 10 years,

[00:36:41] cause people are fucking slow.

[00:36:43] They will,

[00:36:44] they will only be nice people.

[00:36:45] Can I,

[00:36:46] I just see if there's a flaw in the whole naughty list,

[00:36:49] night,

[00:36:49] nice listing.

[00:36:50] Um,

[00:36:50] what happens if I'm a parent and my son wants a new PS five.

[00:36:57] And I know that they need shoes for school.

[00:37:01] Mm.

[00:37:02] Mm.

[00:37:02] So then I'm like,

[00:37:04] but they keep asking for the PS five.

[00:37:06] So what I'll do is I'll forge his signature on a few bank loans,

[00:37:10] get them on the naughty list.

[00:37:11] I know what you're doing,

[00:37:12] but I,

[00:37:13] I'm just helping.

[00:37:14] Cause he actually does need those.

[00:37:16] no,

[00:37:17] no,

[00:37:17] no,

[00:37:18] no,

[00:37:18] no,

[00:37:18] no,

[00:37:18] no,

[00:37:19] no,

[00:37:20] 64 years,

[00:37:21] days a year all round.

[00:37:23] Yeah.

[00:37:23] You can get from those what he needs.

[00:37:26] Well,

[00:37:26] I can't,

[00:37:26] I don't have the money.

[00:37:27] How poor are you?

[00:37:28] I'm,

[00:37:29] I'm insanely poor.

[00:37:30] I can barely afford another cocktail.

[00:37:34] Okay.

[00:37:34] Oh,

[00:37:34] then we have another one.

[00:37:35] Then you will have to want,

[00:37:37] then you have to be nice and you have to want presents for your kids.

[00:37:42] Ah,

[00:37:42] no,

[00:37:42] no,

[00:37:43] no,

[00:37:43] no,

[00:37:43] no.

[00:37:43] Hold on now.

[00:37:44] I thought everyone gets their own thing.

[00:37:45] This is a hard one.

[00:37:47] Yeah,

[00:37:47] no,

[00:37:47] I'm,

[00:37:48] I'm,

[00:37:48] I disagree.

[00:37:49] I highly disagree with that.

[00:37:51] And he really needs a shoot.

[00:37:52] He badly needs them.

[00:37:53] He's been walking barefoot for the last four years,

[00:37:56] all his life.

[00:37:56] God bless him.

[00:37:57] He will get both.

[00:37:57] He will get both.

[00:37:58] They,

[00:37:59] the very,

[00:37:59] if he's a nice boy,

[00:38:00] if your son is a very nice boy,

[00:38:02] he will get both.

[00:38:03] Well,

[00:38:03] he's indicted now for bank fraud.

[00:38:06] That's your fault.

[00:38:07] I do.

[00:38:07] I,

[00:38:07] he was the ringleader.

[00:38:09] We have a whole pyramid where he,

[00:38:11] I put him at the top of it.

[00:38:12] I don't know.

[00:38:13] If you were the one making him do it,

[00:38:15] like if you were the one setting him up,

[00:38:17] that doesn't count.

[00:38:18] I will know about that.

[00:38:19] I have.

[00:38:20] Five penguins that will know about who sets up a knot.

[00:38:23] Perfect.

[00:38:24] Yeah.

[00:38:24] Yeah.

[00:38:24] Okay.

[00:38:26] Penguins of Madagascar is basically what you're doing here.

[00:38:29] Okay.

[00:38:29] Okay.

[00:38:30] We like to move it.

[00:38:32] We like to move it.

[00:38:33] We like to move it.

[00:38:35] Okay.

[00:38:36] Yes.

[00:38:36] I just wanted to make sure that the naughty list doesn't contradict the nice list.

[00:38:41] If things,

[00:38:42] you know,

[00:38:42] happen.

[00:38:42] Okay.

[00:38:43] You've said,

[00:38:44] you've settled that.

[00:38:44] That's fine.

[00:38:45] You know how another famous characteristic of Santa Claus is.

[00:38:50] He usually goes in and kisses the mothers of children.

[00:38:54] They're mommies.

[00:38:56] Right?

[00:38:57] Yes.

[00:38:57] So do you plan on kissing anyone?

[00:39:00] And who are you kissing while you're going about?

[00:39:03] Wait,

[00:39:03] do I have that right?

[00:39:04] Yeah.

[00:39:04] Do you plan on doing the same?

[00:39:05] Can I kiss whoever I want?

[00:39:07] Yeah,

[00:39:07] pretty much.

[00:39:08] Consensually,

[00:39:08] I will add,

[00:39:09] but yes.

[00:39:10] Of course.

[00:39:11] Yeah.

[00:39:11] Yeah.

[00:39:11] Yeah.

[00:39:11] I just need to.

[00:39:13] And again,

[00:39:13] who wouldn't want to kiss me though?

[00:39:15] The beckon Christmas queen with her army of penguins.

[00:39:18] Exactly.

[00:39:19] Yeah.

[00:39:19] I wish I had a really big celebrity crush right now.

[00:39:23] Who was your last celebrity crush?

[00:39:25] That's what my next point,

[00:39:27] because that was Harry Styles.

[00:39:29] Oh.

[00:39:29] And I think for the sake of the younger version of me,

[00:39:33] if I get the opportunity to kiss whoever I want consensual,

[00:39:37] it would be him.

[00:39:38] Why not?

[00:39:38] Just so I can tick off my own nice wishlist.

[00:39:42] Who was your first celebrity crush?

[00:39:44] When I was a kid.

[00:39:45] Yeah.

[00:39:46] No,

[00:39:46] actually,

[00:39:46] I would say Harry Styles,

[00:39:47] because I never obsessed as much with anyone as I did with him.

[00:39:51] Yes.

[00:39:52] Okay.

[00:39:52] Yeah.

[00:39:53] It was on a very unhealthy level.

[00:39:56] But yeah.

[00:39:56] Okay.

[00:39:56] So you're going for Harry Styles.

[00:39:58] So you're going to kiss Harry Styles in the living room and his younger sibling or someone will see it.

[00:40:03] Okay.

[00:40:04] Hey,

[00:40:04] congrats.

[00:40:05] Okay.

[00:40:05] What do I have else?

[00:40:07] Oh,

[00:40:07] I know you said you don't go in yourself into people's houses,

[00:40:11] right?

[00:40:12] But usually people leave out milk and cookies for Santa when he's coming along.

[00:40:16] What should people leave out for you before they go to bed at night waiting?

[00:40:20] That's a hot one.

[00:40:22] Red Bull.

[00:40:23] You already have a fridge full of Red Bull.

[00:40:25] Okay.

[00:40:26] Absolutely.

[00:40:27] Yeah.

[00:40:27] That's the only thing I want.

[00:40:28] Literally.

[00:40:30] That's the only thing I live for.

[00:40:31] Okay.

[00:40:32] The first year this happens.

[00:40:35] People leave out normal Red Bull.

[00:40:37] That's a naughty list for next year for sure.

[00:40:40] So the second year there is a massive naughty list.

[00:40:44] Yes.

[00:40:45] And people realize then.

[00:40:46] Okay.

[00:40:47] Okay.

[00:40:48] I think we have to send out a warning.

[00:40:50] See,

[00:40:51] this is why we're in LA because that's where all the advertisement comes in.

[00:40:54] So people don't fuck up.

[00:40:56] Ah,

[00:40:56] okay.

[00:40:57] Yeah,

[00:40:57] yeah,

[00:40:57] yeah.

[00:40:57] That's where that's coming back in.

[00:40:59] Okay.

[00:41:00] So what will happen is that there will be made a very specific in Norway.

[00:41:05] We have this called Christmas soda.

[00:41:08] Oh,

[00:41:08] yeah.

[00:41:09] Okay.

[00:41:09] Yeah.

[00:41:10] Or also in Norway it's called Julebrus.

[00:41:12] Jule is Christmas.

[00:41:13] Jule.

[00:41:14] Yeah.

[00:41:15] Julebrus.

[00:41:15] But Christmas soda.

[00:41:17] Because,

[00:41:18] and that only comes out for Christmas because it's a specific taste.

[00:41:22] Yes.

[00:41:22] So since I am the Christmas queen.

[00:41:26] Yeah.

[00:41:27] There will be a Christmas Red Bull for me in the taste that I love the most.

[00:41:35] Yes.

[00:41:35] That all comes out for Christmas and people have to set it up for me.

[00:41:39] And what,

[00:41:40] what is that flavor?

[00:41:42] I love the apricot and strawberry one.

[00:41:47] And I do also love the peach one.

[00:41:49] So I don't know what you want to pick,

[00:41:50] but yeah,

[00:41:51] probably the apricot and strawberry one because it's red.

[00:41:55] And can you mix apricot and peach and strawberry?

[00:41:59] No,

[00:42:00] I wouldn't go.

[00:42:00] But you can't pick out one of them,

[00:42:02] but I would say that for the time before Christmas,

[00:42:06] that's the special edition,

[00:42:08] Christmas edition.

[00:42:09] That people are able to drink and also give it to me,

[00:42:12] but they can,

[00:42:13] they can give me whichever flavor they want to,

[00:42:15] as long as it's not original one.

[00:42:16] As long as it's not original.

[00:42:17] Perfect.

[00:42:17] Okay.

[00:42:18] You wouldn't be tempted then to have that just the whole year round.

[00:42:21] You'd be okay.

[00:42:22] Then come January or February when they say that's enough of that flavor for the

[00:42:26] year.

[00:42:27] Yeah.

[00:42:27] Because I have all the other ones.

[00:42:29] Yeah.

[00:42:30] Okay.

[00:42:31] That's good.

[00:42:31] Yeah.

[00:42:31] You're not a greedy Christmas queen.

[00:42:32] Um,

[00:42:33] is there any Christmas,

[00:42:34] is there any new tradition you'd like to add to Christmas?

[00:42:38] Are we switching out?

[00:42:39] I think we should switch out all the silly Santa figures that people have around their

[00:42:46] houses.

[00:42:47] And also the naughty Santa,

[00:42:50] the little one,

[00:42:51] the little naughty elf.

[00:42:52] Is that what you do?

[00:42:54] I've never,

[00:42:55] um,

[00:42:55] is that what their pants down?

[00:42:57] Yeah.

[00:42:57] The parents do it and they make like this naughty thing.

[00:43:00] Uh,

[00:43:00] the shelf on the elf.

[00:43:01] Yes.

[00:43:02] The elf on the shelf.

[00:43:03] Yes.

[00:43:04] You're getting rid of that.

[00:43:05] No,

[00:43:06] I just think that we should change it out with,

[00:43:09] um,

[00:43:09] with like a little doll of me.

[00:43:12] Oh.

[00:43:12] Tilly on the elf.

[00:43:13] On the shelf,

[00:43:14] sorry.

[00:43:15] Tilly on the,

[00:43:16] yes,

[00:43:16] on the shelf.

[00:43:17] Uh,

[00:43:18] okay.

[00:43:19] And so you'd add that,

[00:43:20] you'd change it.

[00:43:21] Is there any tradition you would just get rid of outright?

[00:43:24] I don't know what you eat in Ireland and I do not know what everyone around the world

[00:43:28] eats for Christmas.

[00:43:29] But I would definitely get rid of the Christmas food we have here in Norway because I find it

[00:43:34] goddamn disgusting.

[00:43:35] What is it?

[00:43:36] Oh,

[00:43:36] it's some pork pot and it's,

[00:43:38] I don't know,

[00:43:39] I don't know what you call it in English.

[00:43:41] Um,

[00:43:41] but it's,

[00:43:42] it's pig.

[00:43:43] Sorry about that.

[00:43:44] You wouldn't have,

[00:43:45] so you wouldn't have turkey?

[00:43:46] No,

[00:43:47] we don't.

[00:43:47] no,

[00:43:47] that's what,

[00:43:48] if we eat that,

[00:43:49] that's for New Year's.

[00:43:50] Yeah.

[00:43:50] Oh,

[00:43:52] that's a shame.

[00:43:53] I'll find out the word for you.

[00:43:55] Ribs.

[00:43:56] It's basically what it is.

[00:43:57] Oh.

[00:43:58] Yeah.

[00:43:59] But it's like a huge piece of ribs,

[00:44:02] I guess.

[00:44:03] Yeah.

[00:44:03] And it's just a lot of fat.

[00:44:06] That's what it is.

[00:44:07] And we,

[00:44:07] we make it in the way that the fat is going to be crispy.

[00:44:11] That's not me.

[00:44:12] Depending on where you're from and your family,

[00:44:14] we have like three different dishes,

[00:44:16] but that's the one I grew up with and I still get every Christmas.

[00:44:20] And I just can't be bothered.

[00:44:21] No,

[00:44:22] not if not for us.

[00:44:23] So what would you have instead of it?

[00:44:25] If you're going to,

[00:44:25] are you going to keep turkey for New Year's?

[00:44:28] Yeah,

[00:44:28] definitely.

[00:44:29] Uh,

[00:44:30] but I want duck.

[00:44:31] Oh,

[00:44:32] okay.

[00:44:32] Yeah.

[00:44:32] You found a duck.

[00:44:33] Do not bring in the penguins just because I want duck.

[00:44:36] I didn't say anything.

[00:44:37] Are the penguins allowed to eat it?

[00:44:39] Penguins eat fish,

[00:44:40] don't they?

[00:44:40] Duck are not fish though.

[00:44:42] Yeah,

[00:44:42] but they'll,

[00:44:42] they'll have a bite.

[00:44:44] They'll try it.

[00:44:45] Yeah,

[00:44:45] they do eat,

[00:44:45] they do eat meat.

[00:44:46] Yes.

[00:44:47] Yeah.

[00:44:47] Um,

[00:44:48] okay.

[00:44:49] I have two more questions because when you're flying around and you have this all

[00:44:52] settled and everyone's much happier with new Christmas,

[00:44:55] with the Christmas queen,

[00:44:56] whenever you get sick of doing this job or decide it's time for you to just go off

[00:45:01] with your elephants,

[00:45:02] Sanjay,

[00:45:03] Darren and Hugo,

[00:45:04] Hugo,

[00:45:05] Hugo,

[00:45:06] Hugo.

[00:45:06] No,

[00:45:07] Hugo.

[00:45:07] Hugo,

[00:45:08] sorry.

[00:45:08] No,

[00:45:09] this one.

[00:45:09] Who would you nominate to take over as the new master of Christmas?

[00:45:15] When I'm done.

[00:45:16] Yeah.

[00:45:17] That has to be someone who's actually like alive.

[00:45:19] Harry Styles.

[00:45:20] Yeah.

[00:45:21] Anyone.

[00:45:21] I was thinking about it.

[00:45:23] Um,

[00:45:24] maybe Harry Styles.

[00:45:26] That's not too bad of a suggestion.

[00:45:27] He'd be popular.

[00:45:28] Yeah,

[00:45:29] definitely.

[00:45:30] He will all sign,

[00:45:31] me.

[00:45:31] We cannot have that.

[00:45:32] No.

[00:45:33] Oh,

[00:45:35] that's a really good one.

[00:45:37] Depending on if I want them to fail or not.

[00:45:40] You want to do an okay job,

[00:45:41] right?

[00:45:42] You don't want them to be.

[00:45:43] That's the thing.

[00:45:44] I want them to like,

[00:45:45] please me.

[00:45:45] Like I want a nice Christmas as well when I'm done.

[00:45:48] Oh yeah,

[00:45:49] yeah,

[00:45:49] yeah,

[00:45:50] yeah.

[00:45:50] So they have to be good enough.

[00:45:51] But they have to be like more than capable.

[00:45:56] They have to be like good,

[00:45:57] but not that good.

[00:45:59] Not the sparkling or wow.

[00:46:01] Wow.

[00:46:01] Factor.

[00:46:02] I have an idea.

[00:46:04] If you don't think of one,

[00:46:06] I'm just one of your penguins coming up,

[00:46:08] just saying,

[00:46:08] I have an idea.

[00:46:10] Why don't we get,

[00:46:11] um,

[00:46:13] I'm going to quickly Google it.

[00:46:14] Um,

[00:46:15] I don't know if you can hear all the mad typing.

[00:46:17] Why don't you get,

[00:46:19] I will not be able to pronounce it.

[00:46:22] Uh,

[00:46:23] Mark Matic.

[00:46:24] Shit.

[00:46:26] Sorry.

[00:46:27] No,

[00:46:28] no,

[00:46:28] you have no idea who that is.

[00:46:30] Oh,

[00:46:31] I'm sorry.

[00:46:32] He is the owner of Red Bull.

[00:46:34] Yes.

[00:46:35] Because he's just a rich fucking.

[00:46:39] No,

[00:46:40] I don't want him.

[00:46:40] Because he does not have to do shit.

[00:46:43] But most likely,

[00:46:45] uh,

[00:46:45] I want one of his event managers to do it.

[00:46:48] So you get one of the event managers for Red Bull,

[00:46:51] because still,

[00:46:52] they're still like a corporate figure.

[00:46:54] So everyone's going to go,

[00:46:57] or Christmas has gotten too capitalistic.

[00:47:00] So they'll be okay with it,

[00:47:01] but they missed the niceness of the Christmas queen.

[00:47:06] And they will obviously just send out a load of Red Bull.

[00:47:09] So you'll get that.

[00:47:11] Yes.

[00:47:11] And also they will add a little bit of sparkle to it because they work in events.

[00:47:14] So they know how to add little details and such.

[00:47:16] So it will still be good.

[00:47:17] It'll still be good,

[00:47:18] but not like everyone will be like,

[00:47:21] but where's the pink carriage?

[00:47:22] Yeah.

[00:47:23] Where's the elephants?

[00:47:25] Where's the elephants?

[00:47:26] Where's the penguins?

[00:47:27] Bulls are fun.

[00:47:28] The Red Bull.

[00:47:29] Yeah.

[00:47:30] Yeah.

[00:47:31] Yeah.

[00:47:31] Yeah.

[00:47:32] It's not elephants.

[00:47:34] No,

[00:47:34] no.

[00:47:35] It doesn't have that.

[00:47:37] Wow.

[00:47:38] Yeah.

[00:47:39] Yeah.

[00:47:39] Yeah.

[00:47:39] It has like what you need for Christmas.

[00:47:42] So yeah,

[00:47:42] no,

[00:47:42] I think that.

[00:47:43] It works.

[00:47:44] Yeah.

[00:47:45] Thank you.

[00:47:46] Thank you.

[00:47:47] Thank you.

[00:47:47] Thank you.

[00:47:49] If.

[00:47:50] Yeah,

[00:47:51] that's pretty good too.

[00:47:52] The only other thing I was going to ask is,

[00:47:53] um,

[00:47:54] like what,

[00:47:54] what would you want for Christmas then?

[00:47:56] Or what are you looking for Christmas?

[00:47:58] This Christmas?

[00:47:59] Yeah.

[00:48:00] This has been a really hard year for me to find something actually,

[00:48:03] because this is going to sound so bad,

[00:48:06] but I got everything I need.

[00:48:08] And if I want something,

[00:48:09] it's the reason I don't have it.

[00:48:11] It's because it's too expensive.

[00:48:13] And I don't want anyone else to get it for me.

[00:48:15] Um,

[00:48:17] but no,

[00:48:17] but like,

[00:48:18] there are expensive times,

[00:48:20] especially Norway.

[00:48:21] Um,

[00:48:22] but I think this year I would love to have a camera actually.

[00:48:27] Like a proper like camera,

[00:48:29] like,

[00:48:30] I have ones,

[00:48:31] but I would love like a handy digital one to make some creative content and such.

[00:48:36] Oh,

[00:48:37] yes.

[00:48:38] Uh,

[00:48:38] wait,

[00:48:38] are you on what,

[00:48:40] what content platform are you on?

[00:48:42] Are you on Tik TOK or what?

[00:48:43] I'm on Tik TOK and I'm also on Instagram.

[00:48:45] Ah,

[00:48:46] yes,

[00:48:46] yes,

[00:48:46] yes.

[00:48:47] Um,

[00:48:48] okay,

[00:48:49] Tilly,

[00:48:49] uh,

[00:48:50] thank you for helping me for this nice Christmas themed one.

[00:48:53] I wasn't expecting any murder because sometimes people do murder and stuff.

[00:48:57] And I thought this would be a nice little,

[00:48:58] you know,

[00:49:00] fun.

[00:49:01] Santa themed one,

[00:49:02] but you added a little revenge.

[00:49:04] Just killing the people who are killing others.

[00:49:06] Yeah,

[00:49:06] yeah.

[00:49:06] Fuck them.

[00:49:07] And you did,

[00:49:08] you did give out about fuck boys.

[00:49:09] People who are making wars.

[00:49:11] Yeah.

[00:49:12] Who are taking away rights of other people and treating other people bad.

[00:49:17] Also animals.

[00:49:18] They need to die.

[00:49:19] They need to die painfully.

[00:49:20] They need to go distinct.

[00:49:23] Yes.

[00:49:24] Yes.

[00:49:24] Okay.

[00:49:25] And it would be also very nice.

[00:49:27] Do you know what?

[00:49:28] That's what I was going to ask.

[00:49:29] Um,

[00:49:30] what Christmas message would you leave people with?

[00:49:32] Oh,

[00:49:32] by the way,

[00:49:33] where do people find you online on Instagram?

[00:49:36] That would be Matilda Kai.

[00:49:39] Um,

[00:49:39] Matilda with an H and C A E for Casparo.

[00:49:45] On Instagram,

[00:49:46] right?

[00:49:47] On Instagram.

[00:49:47] Yes.

[00:49:48] Oh,

[00:49:48] yeah.

[00:49:49] For TikTok,

[00:49:51] it will be Matilda Casparo.

[00:49:53] Yeah.

[00:49:54] Um,

[00:49:55] and there'll be links and stuff as well.

[00:49:57] And okay.

[00:49:58] So thanks everyone for listening.

[00:50:00] What,

[00:50:00] so what is your Christmas message for everyone as the Christmas queen?

[00:50:03] Be nice.

[00:50:04] Or else.

[00:50:05] Treat people with kindness and see people around you.

[00:50:09] And introduce yourself when you're having sex with them.

[00:50:12] Say hello.

[00:50:13] Turn the other cheek.

[00:50:17] Is there anything else?

[00:50:18] That was it.

[00:50:19] That was your nice list.

[00:50:20] That would be about it.

[00:50:21] Yes.

[00:50:21] Yeah.

[00:50:21] Okay.

[00:50:22] okay.

[00:50:23] Happy Christmas.

[00:50:23] Be honest with your intentions,

[00:50:24] people.

[00:50:25] And be honest with your intentions.

[00:50:28] Okay.

[00:50:29] Bye.

[00:50:30] Bye.

[00:50:31] Bye.

[00:50:32] Um,

[00:50:33] yay.

[00:50:33] Okay.

[00:50:33] How do I fucking,

[00:50:34] there we go.