Tyrant In Training Episode 33 Ryan Webb, The WebbMaster of Monkey Foot Island

[00:00:00] Hello everyone, I'm Celine. Hi. Hello. Yeah, I started this podcast off while falling asleep and I'm still tired. Yes. Yeah, that's not a good start. No, not really. I think people can hear it. Okay, this is The Tyrant In Training Podcast. I'm Kevin Ryan. You're my fiance.

[00:00:23] Celine. Yeah. This is all the only part you'll be involved in. I'm very tired. You are. Yeah, I'm so tired. So yes, we're doing, I'm doing these again. You might have time

[00:00:34] to eat because I'm very bad at intros. I don't know that I'm any better. But I think what I'm going to do instead is like this is this is vamping. Like vamp is the word I use. Why

[00:00:44] do you look me? It's when it looks to me like that once. I don't know. Yeah, the vamping is delaying. You know what I mean? If we were on stage, right, and then you

[00:00:54] had a heart attack, right? No, no, no, it's fine. You're fine afterwards. But if you then weren't able to come on stage for the routine you normally do and get the wait five minutes

[00:01:04] to wake you up or something, I don't know how they work, right? Yeah. But I would vamp then I'd start telling it to Jill. Okay, okay. So this is what this is. Right?

[00:01:10] Because I don't have an intro. No. What do you mean no? You don't have an intro. I'm agreeing with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. No. So I figured in the chat here, right? So, okay, if we blew up in this event before, I'm usually going

[00:01:24] to take over from this after a little jingle. And it's going to be me and a guest and the guests will be answering questions about how they would rule wrong country. Yes. Done. That explains it, right? Yeah, they don't need

[00:01:35] anymore. No. Yeah, you know, that's all the context you need. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Um, and one thing I'll give you a little bit of, bit of info on this. I'm going back to my old jingle because I can't find the

[00:01:50] guidelines. So I don't know what happened to him. Um, so yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, the name of the jingle? No, no, this one is called fucking winter sunshine or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I'm doing?

[00:02:09] There was it. That's the one. Yeah, that's the one. Okay. So we're doing that, right? Yes. Hopefully this microphone is picking up everything. This is the new one. Yes. Did you know I bought it? Yeah, I bought it

[00:02:20] when the shop goes now. So that's great. And also yes, first guest, right? Yes. Is a comedian. Yeah, from Chicago. Yeah, you wanted to go to Chicago once. I did want to go once because my life boy are

[00:02:32] from there. Is that why when we started going out, you were like, I want to go to Chicago and then I said, okay, and we never went. Yeah. Yeah. Now I want to go to Chicago because the bear is out there. Oh yeah. Did you keep watching that

[00:02:43] without me? Yeah. Yeah. I got into it. I did get into it. It was like broad church. But you okay, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were that into it. I'll watch it again with you. Yeah, yeah, I said I'd wait until now. Okay, see what I

[00:02:57] figured is I'm gonna do this podcast as I said, I have a guest on each week. But this will turn into its own little mini podcast where we increasingly argue until the there'll be a nice if people want to follow. So the first

[00:03:11] person up is comedian from Chicago called Ryan Webb. Yes. Right? Very nice. I'll show you a picture of it. He's a very pleasant guy, right? And even the voice is very nice. Very funny. Yeah, I will play you some quotes, right? And you can get a

[00:03:25] volume from yeah. Okay. So hold on. I'll do that now. As of right now, we'll say that they're they're gonna come willingly. No, it would be a big robot that looks like the princess. What happens to the people once they enter the

[00:03:39] strip? Well, I take their money. They just go to the obstacle car. Because I totally agree with Thanos, right? It's just too many people in the world. The money is gone. The fun's over. No more cars coming for me. Right? You've heard

[00:03:56] you've heard him take the headphones off. You can't even hear me. These are good. Okay, yeah. Alright. In the arena. Yeah. But I'm undone. Right. Tots on Ryan sounds like a concerning man. concerning like he's concerned. He's concerned in parts, but

[00:04:16] yeah, he agrees with Thanos. A lot of people agree with Thanos. They're concerning. So you're concerned that they agree with? Yeah. They concern me. Yeah, they're concerned. No, they're just concerning people. A concernable people. Is concernable to worry? Yeah. Okay,

[00:04:36] is that so? No. You might as well educate as well as there he is. Actually, there he is. Yeah. See, see, he does look like a yeah, but that's that's Photoshopped. It's hard to okay. Concernable. Sorry, everyone who's about to listen

[00:04:51] to him. Shut off. There you go. Concernable. Concerned having involvement or response. That doesn't make sense. Um, okay, actually before, before I jingle my way into the thing. Um, how do I do this? So if you want to follow this

[00:05:08] podcast, right? Do I have to be on Twitter? eggs? Twitter? I'm not calling it eggs. Right? Yeah. Yeah. But they don't have to keep posting. I don't want to do that. Okay. I could be on there. That's Tirendon Training Podcast.

[00:05:23] You find this on Spotify. Yeah. But any where ever you find your podcast. There you go. Um, see, this is why you're helpful. And um, I'm on Instagram. We have cats running around. Yeah. Um, you are in Instagram. Kevron person. Yes.

[00:05:41] Ask Kevron person. Yeah. I'm not making that separate. No, I don't have to. Okay. Just talk to me there. And I'm on blue sky and treads. They're the same Kevron person. Yes. Yeah. Do you know, do you know someone taught? And this is

[00:05:58] from the inside point. Someone taught my last name as person. Don't hit them like that. Someone taught my last name as person. Oh, because Kev, Kev Ryan is Ryan is so common in Ireland that there's a Ryan something. So they taught I was

[00:06:12] a Ryan person. So an Irish person thought you were Ryan. I imagined you were Irish. Yeah. Okay. I can't remember. Yeah. But it has to be Irish because nobody knows the whole Ryan. Yeah, it's a secret. But like I never

[00:06:23] Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah, you are. Um, yeah. So someone actually taught I was Kevron person. Anyway. Um, yes. Oh, and I didn't say it because it's not about me. Um, yeah. Ryan Rebson round web is in the laugh factory or something.

[00:06:39] He's over in LA. I think around now. Yeah. Yeah. He says at the end of the podcast. And he's on Instagram and everything else. Yes. So yeah. Okay. Yeah. I actually really enjoyed making a laugh. You know, it's like

[00:07:03] a people say it's a high. So you know, like a rush like, oh, look at me. Like it's totally selfish, you know, like yeah, any comic who's pretending like they're not self centered is lying to you because it's just you on the microphone and

[00:07:17] everyone's there for you in that moment at least but whatever we're doing. I'm up there. Yeah. Yeah. No, I fully believe you're no problem saying I'm an ass. I fully believe you're selfish, which kind of makes you perfect

[00:07:33] to rule the country. Have you ever taught about what you do as rule the country? If you're a tyrant? Um, yeah, I have. I would keep everything the same here except I would lower the prices of everything by $2 and I

[00:07:45] would incorporate some type of like a squid game or hunger game or some type of form of entertainment where people die. So you keep everything the same. That's what I would. So you would there be no everything the same but

[00:07:59] I would just add that form of entertainment because everyone wants to because I totally agree with Thanos, right? It's just too many people in the world, but you can't go around killing people. That's not right. So what you

[00:08:11] gotta do is everyone wants to be a star. You just make a show and let them sign up for it and you know, like American like Ninja Warrior but like with no nets there. So would you would you do the same ratio where it's like

[00:08:25] 100 of you can sign up and in one of you live and you'll be great and well I mean if you live, you know, I'd say you get some type of a prize. I don't think it would be worth it. I mean, you're not gonna live. I'm

[00:08:36] just like I'm I'm making this uh so it'd be like the Olympics so it'd be like every every couple of years everyone gets together and run this obstacle course that is impossible to get through but everything else would be fine. Do you know what the only thing

[00:08:52] with that my my concern right and on this podcast I'm basically just an advisor but I go along with everything you say, right? Because I want to live if you have will say a hundred people just for example that um if

[00:09:04] one of them wins like they're gonna be the annoying celebrity who's for the rest of their life living off that one. You know what I mean? That they're just selling out and they're just like they're on Dancing with the Stars or Dancing with an Ice

[00:09:16] and you're like, God, I hate their politics but they won. They won one survival competition once and they've just laid that into a crew. Yeah, would you accept that? That's that's a good point. That's just hey that's just part of the game. I guess

[00:09:29] they've earned that right. They've earned the right to do that, you know. Yeah. Okay, that's fair. Have you any idea where it's usually a new island? We build up a new island for so you're not taking over any country. So, like do you not

[00:09:42] have any idea where you would place your your new island? Somewhere really hot like right on the elevator that way. Like in the off season people would still die. Why are you from from from yeah so we're just trying to my whole the whole

[00:09:57] point of my island is you know how Australia was like initially a prison island. Okay. Not something like that but for like people who want to be famous and you know crazy shit it'd be like like Arkham City. Your island is going to

[00:10:12] be Arkham City slash Australia for far famous people. For people who just though you know just the worst people you know. Oh, I should have mapped. Yeah, I have a map open on so just give an idea. Okay, so what do you create around

[00:10:29] like Algeria, Libya, that line? Yeah, so like are there any like unknown islands like maybe right here in the Atlantic that we'll build you a boat because that would be perfect. Right, dead center. We'll build you an island. There'll be no

[00:10:43] problem with that. We'll start that out. Okay, well there's no problem then yeah that's the perfect place. So between the Caribbean and and Morocco kind of there. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I don't know for a time and like we'll say I usually just give

[00:10:56] around number say 10 million people come to the island and they'll all come willingly unless you don't want to meet. They'll all show up. As of right now we'll say that they're gonna come willingly because I gotta get the votes first, right? I'm not gonna

[00:11:11] no we're gonna be kidnapped people take up that island that's not gonna get me an offer. No, no, no. I know how this game is played. The thing is though is I guess you're like you choose how what the game is. I like how you're deciding

[00:11:28] no, no, no. They need to be exactly that's how it's played exactly you get it. Okay so you're we're going to say at least that they're willingly coming they're not they're not okay so there's 10 million. If the show is good enough then people would do it like I

[00:11:46] I don't think that if the prize is high enough and it's interesting enough like people who come for season two they'll be happy that their family fucking gets their heads sawed off on the game show like people are really twisted and I think about there's 10 saw movies it's

[00:12:03] ridiculous. That's true that's true and they probably have a gap in between them of like the Olympics like four years. Wait, there's 10 million people showing up? I don't like forget how many we said would be on the show but so you're gonna have 10 million people

[00:12:17] 10 million viewers easily. Oh but people on the show. Oh so can you only watch the show while you're on your island? I don't know because I no we're gonna broadcast nationwide that's I mean worldwide a worldwide broadcast would be uh

[00:12:32] What streaming platform would you have it on? That's totally pointless question. I'll let it say maybe uh with um Elon in charge we might be able to get on Twitter. On Twitter oh god that's such a depressing lineup.

[00:12:48] Watch Tucker Carlson then what's the name of the show actually? Oh man I haven't thought that far but I'm really spitballing these ideas. Oh they're all tracking. Oh man uh okay the super suicide brothers you can't call it that right.

[00:13:07] The super suicide brothers are you thinking this the same as me? That's definitely a Mario and Luigi like spin-off like that's for sure. Mario and Luigi for God's sake. It's a new kamikaze. So the whole applicable course is gonna be Mario theme so my whole island okay

[00:13:26] I've changed my mind completely this is what we're doing now. Yeah my country is just like Mario work and that's what it is now. Okay so you're going to put Goombas, Goopas, dinosaurs the whole the whole green

[00:13:41] pipes that they can jump down. Yeah who knows where the pipes go it still has the same effect people are gonna jump in and never be seen again. Straight into the center of the universe or the world

[00:13:53] not the universe. Um have you any idea what you'd call the island? It's not called super suicide. I wouldn't put that much you know like like monkey foot islander. Monkey foot island just to make it

[00:14:06] shape like a monkey foot. It doesn't even have to be shaped like a monkey but that'll really add mystique. Oh see I'm just gonna call it. I don't know. Yeah nobody's allowed to ask. There'll be a whole mystique about it.

[00:14:18] Yeah right don't ask it. Yeah straight into the green pipes. Yeah okay well I'm writing down monkey foot island. I don't have a jutter. Yeah it's like the Denver airport don't ask questions. Have you where's my questions that I have so we have monkey foot island

[00:14:33] that's in the middle of the Atlantic Bay. What's your do you have any idea what you'd call yourself? What's your official title or what should be? Oh oh webmaster. I'm sorry. I like that.

[00:14:43] But yeah yeah you had one. We don't yeah it'll be nice to take the word master back after all these years so I'm totally down for that yes. Oh you're going for webmaster then are we putting down? Oh yeah no that's that's yeah that's written in stone now.

[00:15:02] So webmaster of monkey foot island. What happens? Monkey foot island. What happens and also creative director of supertools like Rhodes Smash at TV show. There's gotta be somebody to polish the turtle shells. Is that like your that could be your slogan for the island too?

[00:15:21] Get your shells polished here on monkey foot island. Everyone thinks it's a vacation and then I make them run this horrible office of course. That's a real evil shit. That's and you didn't have to take it that way.

[00:15:31] I'll just point that out. I know this is called turn in training. You could be you could be good. Yeah I know I could well I spent a lot of time alone so this is the first conversation I've had

[00:15:44] with someone who's not my mom or girl. I think I'm gonna run a while with that. That's just a good signal for the fact that you're going to be in charge of the whole island.

[00:15:55] Now do I have to be in charge of the island or can I just design it and that's what I was gonna ask you to see could you if you had the choice then

[00:16:02] for the whole running an everyday boring stuff um would you just select a council of I'll just say 10 people to run the island or would you say to the people okay you can have elections and vote but you can vote for like a senate of 100 people. You're ultimately

[00:16:19] still in charge but you know they can do all the they can enact as long as you have the probably best because of power would immediately otherwise. What if so you're gonna let people vote give them a bit of a voting card now what if they

[00:16:34] elect a hundred clones of just name and whoever are you happy with that though just in general like there's no no issue 100 Elon Musk's get voted into the senate if the people if

[00:16:47] that's what the people want I haven't been happy with the you don't think I've been happy with a president in my lifetime over here so I mean it's people keep voting for them so whatever and you

[00:17:01] can but so you're happy with the hundred of them in in a senate building but like again you have ultimate say so if they try to enact anything like get rid of the tv show you can be like no

[00:17:10] what oh yeah not telling me to get off my island oh so you'll punt them out you're punting them off where are they going where you sending them wherever they want I don't care just so you

[00:17:19] will give them a first-class ticket to wherever they want or they could run the obstacle course they have the choice what do you want to do do you remember the dark night rises you have until

[00:17:31] the morning get your family and get the fuck out of here somebody's running the scarecrow is like you can either go into exile or death and they're like exile and it was just yeah that's

[00:17:41] basically what you're doing same same deal your scarecrow okay all right I can deal with that okay with so you can vote him in but one wrong move and they're deported or on on the absolute sure and I would

[00:17:54] like to reiterate that the majority of the majority of this is just jokes I don't want people to hear this and see real every like this fucking guys no don't worry I will take these all out of context

[00:18:09] this is gonna be chopped up yeah I know I've been thinking about that I'm just not what I said what is the left-leadries handle on Instagram I just want to you have a very trusting

[00:18:24] face I yeah oh I will point out to you that's the thing is the glasses I'm like this don't let's go I did take them off and I go my god it's Chris I will point out because this is obviously

[00:18:38] your podcast that some would say these horrible things are on you said he has not stopped smiling in Troutum all in a very kind eyes very lovely which is nice I know how to play the game you

[00:18:54] have you ever talked about doing a gig in Ireland I might want to come and just see like can I detect the horrible thing well it would be fun um no no I was watching the news maybe I'll wait a little bit

[00:19:05] to the comment out there it just fits you know it's funny Mike Mike what took one of those 23 and me times or whatever brand she took and I just found out this year that I am 3% Irish so

[00:19:22] I would definitely come to Ireland and do a show I'm one of you guys this is where now you have to find out where that person was from in the second name because if you then come to Ireland and you

[00:19:34] know we'd say it's a Murphy from Cork ask maybe four or five people especially if their mothers and they will find out exactly who you are they will know what Murphy it is where they were from

[00:19:46] whether they were a bit of a bollocks or not they'll be yeah that's that's how you do it that's awesome yeah no man I've seen you know movies and documentaries and all kinds of things like

[00:19:55] it looks like such a beautiful beautiful country over there I would love I would love to check it out yeah yeah fair enough do you know what you were saying the recent like Irish stuff it was funny

[00:20:08] because I've seen someone and you know like all online where they were saying um oh Ireland's ready what was this it was some news organization that posted that like people were saying that

[00:20:18] Ireland's ready for a civil war blah blah blah blah and then I was just thinking honestly we don't have time for it don't have time for a civil war I'm too busy I'm starting this again I don't

[00:20:30] I can't commit to that I can I can do it for an hour maybe and you know that's how I feel this is exactly over here the exact same thing my little leadership work up with Dave's he's my right

[00:20:42] and for you know a week but yeah people have to get back to work eventually it's the man to think as I remember we watched a couple years ago do you remember that show um called Love

[00:20:52] Lovecraft Country did you watch that yeah I did it was really good I remember was it like the pilot or the second episode where they have to travel and they're going through these really racist

[00:21:03] parts of America or whatever and like yeah I think it's both the first and second episode was like that and it was really cool like it was really well done and you were really tense

[00:21:12] you're like oh my god get out of there but like especially for me and my fiance like we didn't know about a lot of that so like what do they call him the sundown law or something like that

[00:21:20] where he like anyone who's back in the sundown town yeah like we never heard of that so like seeing it we were like oh and we didn't you read it and you're like oh that's actually true that is it is

[00:21:31] so my my grandfather uh he's passed away but when I was younger we were in Mississippi in like the most like I I google earth this place and I was like holy shit why were we here

[00:21:47] like nothing here but he had like we owned land and so we're down there he's showing us and and he takes us to this restaurant and it's like in the it looked just like lovecraft right

[00:21:59] yeah like so it's like this little restaurant and it's like all these cars we walk in and it's just like a movie because it's nothing but white people in my mind the music stopped every

[00:22:12] look at us and then uh there was one the only black person in there was the bus boy and he comes up to our table and I'll never forget he says y'all leave from round here are you

[00:22:27] and we're like why did you bring us here have you ever eaten in here before he's like no no they wouldn't come in here you're trying to get rid of us is that what this is like

[00:22:37] like yes unfortunately it is still super racist here at times but I I do want to say that it's not like the media would have you think like we're not like fighting each other in the

[00:22:51] streets like I have tons of white friends my best friend is a Caucasian guy you know it's not that serious like I get along with people that aren't I don't much care about your race or gender

[00:23:03] why couldn't I couldn't get when we were watching that show and then they go into the yeah the diner and then they're like oh you're not from around here and then they walk out and they

[00:23:12] notice the like races over in the truck looking at them and then they're like oh we get it out of here and then like they drove off and then they know John they'd notice the car following them

[00:23:22] and stuff and like we were sitting there going how did they do that like okay imagine I was sitting there thinking imagine me sitting down outside a shop having an ice cream

[00:23:30] and then someone goes hey give me like well what's up and they go there's a black family after leaving a diner and I'm like okay come on let's chase them I have a spare six hours to go yeah

[00:23:43] like they traveled like 100 miles after these people and I was like I nearly broke up at Selene because our house was three hours away I'm not chasing people I don't even know let alone people

[00:23:53] I don't like that far that's that'd be madness yeah don't get it that is that is what it is it's madness there's no other word for it is absolute insanity it turns out people in the world who

[00:24:06] hate the races that much without any reason and they and they have free time I didn't have free time to enjoy it is so easy to find time I have been like I've spent the last

[00:24:20] four days playing video games I there's anything that I could be doing with that time and I'm sitting in front of the tv so if I decided one day you know what I hate black people and I get

[00:24:32] up and go outside like it's ridiculous how much free time there is in the world I just love if they were more productive like if they were I don't know repainting their house

[00:24:43] and then they were like why are you doing that for I hate I'm racist just painting their house furiously I want a clean house that'd be great god those would be the best people ever yeah yeah just

[00:24:54] eat the grass yeah I'm not gonna let anyone look at this grass and not think it's good anyway what I was gonna ask all your 10 million people that are undecided oh yeah

[00:25:05] yeah you kind of paint them as people who may not be the happiest I think that well yeah I mean if you see I think you hear a lot of like people want to leave here you know like the US people

[00:25:21] like always complain and like whoopee Goldberg and shit and it's like you're on tv right now shut the fuck up you're doing just fine like what are you complaining about yeah so people like

[00:25:31] that send them to the island and let them run the house with them of course we don't really care if they're happy or not just stop being a bother no so you're promoting to other countries hey send

[00:25:39] your your ungrateful people over send your card dashy hands your fucking flavor flaves send your sexy reds and all that shit yeah let's do it man ice spice get them out of here let's let's

[00:25:51] send them are there so many people who just don't know how to you know like they just like my son I don't want to send my son to the island but you know my son just he doesn't grasp reality like this is

[00:26:04] real life what the fuck are you so you don't want to send him there but you just want to but I would like to threaten him with yeah I don't want to serve but I want to say hey you know do you want

[00:26:13] to go to the island okay but in this case you're going do you want to come to the island or do you want to go to the island because I actually have to go there I'm working but

[00:26:24] you're coming with me if you're not careful oh yeah right yeah bring it bring your kids a work day yeah you're coming with me if you don't have it looks like Mario and then someone falls to the

[00:26:36] death and he's like oh shit a lot of a lot of kids might be tempted a lot of kids might be tempted to go to the mario land uh thinking I think you have to be 21 you gotta be 21 enough to get

[00:26:48] to that is there any age limit about up the other end like if you're 95 can you go no no no no bring your 95 year old ass if you think that's my fate I love watching ninja warrior every once in a while

[00:27:04] some old person will think they can do it and they can't and that's hilarious to me so why did you think you can ruin an obstacle course you were you know this is Harold he was in Vietnam

[00:27:14] like what the fuck oh were there like I want to show that you know the an old person can do it just as well and you're like that's really admirable completely veil compared yeah nothing wrong with them

[00:27:26] I mean you know let's have a try but did um if you're gonna have all these people who may be a little bit unhappy and ungrateful in general um what type of house are you going to live in

[00:27:37] on the island or I guess where on the island am I gonna live in the island yeah what are we or just the people in general because the way I know for you had it no oh I don't know nothing

[00:27:47] huge just like a regular little house somewhere with the gate because people are gonna be pissed at me for having this island so it's gotta be gated I guess I'm gonna need a small military maybe I am a

[00:28:00] dictator so you want a small military you don't want it in the city you want it out I'll tell you somebody who runs the obstacle course and falls to their death against their head smashed

[00:28:10] in there it's gonna have family that's gonna be upset about it do you want did you ever watch Takeshi's castle to walk what Takeshi's castle Takeshi's castle I did not it might I think it was

[00:28:22] very popular in England like it's a I want to say it's a Japanese show that then they had I forget to the guy's name but he narrated it then but it was just it was an obstacle course

[00:28:32] kind of like a wipeout total wipeout or something um yeah this is exactly what I'm talking about so you want Takeshi's castle like you want that castle to be the center the center of the

[00:28:47] obstacle course why not but a small army around yeah oh and um do other people have more normal thought out answers because I totally am winging it out you gave me enough time to think about this

[00:29:02] and I did not surprisingly not it's it's it's it's a bit odd and there's been people who are like writers the people I know who genuinely would not harm us so lovely do you know what I mean they

[00:29:13] are the nicest and in as soon as you say would you let people vote they'd go no they're not even allowed to read and you're like oh okay then sorry about that yeah you can both read and

[00:29:24] vote oh my there's gonna be starbucks and bar the noble and all that shit when you're not doing the obstacle course what I tell you to is to healthcare free oh you have hospitals right yeah

[00:29:39] I feel like that's the least that's the least I can do right yeah healthcare is good to be especially because I you know you got to be strong to run the house so how are we gonna do

[00:29:50] you so you wouldn't have it but you wouldn't have a season where it's all people with like bad limps and stuff where they're just like injured they're like dragging along my leg that might be a

[00:29:59] fun change up like uh like these are all the these are all the winners from previous rounds and they're all like don't have arms and shit yeah we've we've oh you could do it you could have like

[00:30:11] ask the audience where you will break a limb on the previous winner whichever limb you want and then see how they do after that it's really dark I don't hey this is your podcast this is your

[00:30:22] name is on this all I can cut my voice out of it actually I don't know where I draw the line no that's that's where I draw the line don't no audience participation what's the audience that's

[00:30:35] like throwing shit and like yeah that's when it gets really like man max to me so you want to cage the audience oh there's no live audience it's all on tv oh there's a live audience oh that's

[00:30:47] gotta be they're following in my golfing event it's like a sporting event there's gotta be people watching are people allowed to play any other sport on this island or is it just the it's a

[00:30:58] horror I don't think you have time for other sports on the high ground trying to train that's why they're like okay um because what's up with an idiot but you be like I'm learning to play

[00:31:12] soccer and they're like you don't see this fucking out the good books that we got another fucking place soccer for do you know how you ask do other people have this mad kind of line of

[00:31:22] questions right they do are answer to questions they do however and I haven't done this podcast in a while but I have about 20 questions right about 20 questions that I just go through and say

[00:31:34] like whatever um I can't remember the last time I've went okay I've forgotten so many questions I just want to ask new questions like like so what's one of the game what's one of the rounds there has to

[00:31:46] be one round here like we need to start uh I'm just picture like I just for some reason I've seen a lot of saw blades and I see a lot of long drops so that's really you know I'm not I'm not an

[00:32:00] architect but big slides and saw blades coming in and out of them oh yeah definitely but don't you can't pull that face after you can't pull that oh that's too far after mentioning saw blades and 100

[00:32:12] foot drops and a robot there's gotta be a robot oh i'm ask us to deter could you have I don't know because that's the other thing that was getting a bit weird uh I was confused by if it's called

[00:32:23] soups suicide bros bros would surely need more than two brothers or whatever do you have two robot mario and louis but maybe like differentiate him enough so you're not soup um I think that I

[00:32:35] would just have the Nintendo uh board run the obstacle course if I had any problems I'd say hey come down we'll talk about it and then in the obstacle course you fucking go that's how

[00:32:49] I would handle that but uh I think it would be a no it would be a big robot that looks like the princess because the like the squid the squid games shape but it's the princess is that her name

[00:33:03] princess peach yeah yeah okay okay how homely I actually made sure that I remember her name the rest of my life um I just remember that does no kids only 21 and up on this island okay um

[00:33:17] oh I do I'll ask you a question what unusual list is your country top of in the world so you know instead of just being like the best headcage or our best education is probably sort of in skin name

[00:33:27] what's an unusual list that monkey foot island is on top of uh most strip clubs there is the most strip clubs in the entire world so there's starbucks there's a starbucks hospital and strip club on every corner it's what you guarantee right beautiful i'm going to get

[00:33:45] into down from beautiful strip clubs oh yeah oh yeah so and I think my island also takes place in the future like real cyberpunk so you've time traveled to get to this place I don't know I guess I just

[00:34:00] second person I want I want the city to look like uh blazer go with blazer yeah like I mean you will be the second person who's introduced time travel so you can say if you'd prefer to just

[00:34:10] go into the future off of it well that changes everything yeah so you have to yeah so you have to time travel to the island that's what year what year do you think you'd go for uh what year do you

[00:34:23] think you traveled to out on 2086 2086 that's as far as you can go I I preach it was like who gives a I'm just making up stuff um that was a very specific question I got you said it as if

[00:34:40] you were gonna like invest in this time machine what year does it go to exactly I yeah I yeah wait till I start asking what month um I was just looking if I googled what would happen in 2086 and there

[00:34:55] is actually like art about technology predictions I'm not read um but yeah apparently um see it wasn't a weird question uh I have bad news for you for your webmaster it's almost done it already

[00:35:11] this has happened that I described our career or webmaster Kim Jong-un is that what's right exactly by the way what would you be wearing as your official like a tire sweats oh just chill

[00:35:26] just casual yeah I'm super chill yeah I was going to wear the same same sort of thing or is it like hey that's that's you know what I mean like I can't go around again I'm not a dictator wear what you

[00:35:38] want maybe they'll be uniforms for the show like you know like if you if you if you play football you don't have to wear your uniform to the grocery store you just gotta wear it on your field you

[00:35:51] know so what would these uniforms would be but would these uniforms be like practical for them or would um no yeah just uh like shorts like shorts and like they're running a marathon you know yeah

[00:36:06] yeah she's breezy no maybe my picture on them just to remind everyone who's who's putting a big smiley face are you like looking serious angry that's right yeah he got it yeah oh yeah I do have bad news

[00:36:18] here bad news about running an island um what is what is that it is that uh at some point in time a scandal will come out about you um that people aren't going to be happy with and I don't know

[00:36:31] how this works but for some reason you get to pick what scandal so what scandal involving you would find out about and I'm assuming you're going to make this up it is the judgment free place

[00:36:46] it does not have to be let me reiterate the scandal is completely made up I am wanted for several hours it would be something like like I would be like maybe like uh I think the scandal would be that

[00:36:59] there is no island and that it's all made up and people are going to be like how is that possible fucking hey man so what is this wait where are what are we that's it that's the scandal there was no

[00:37:12] island I made it up I took people's money but there's no island but where are we then there is no there is no time travel I don't know that's not up to me to figure out you gotta take me to

[00:37:22] if you want to find out about the judge okay okay this is fucking weird that's okay okay so let me ask me to be on your that's just that's that's sure enough twist right that's not yes and

[00:37:39] that's like no one figure out um okay well your advisors say to you no okay a real to much one that actually makes sense it would be like uh it would be like either a money scandal

[00:37:53] or some type of a sex scandal those are the only two things that people care about nothing else is like anything else at least here at least here in the state anything else you're like I think

[00:38:06] I know how to marry those two together then because you said money and sex scandal and you also mentioned about the original island but you want to move that on now would it be that

[00:38:14] there is no strip cubs they're not strip cubs at all and you've just been taking money out of the out of people paying to go into a strip club when it isn't a strip club what happens to the people

[00:38:24] once they enter the strip club and I take their money they just go to the obstacle court if that's your decision I feel like I'm on this island I just want to have a good time

[00:38:37] and see some titties and now the next thing you know you're in the obstacle court and now you're running through you're no better than I am what the fuck are you no no no I'm just the advisor trying to keep my family alive on this island

[00:38:52] this wasn't my idea this is you said you wanted a sex scandal you wanted money scandal and you didn't want to say I wanted to kidnap people in the strip club I feel like the strip club should

[00:39:01] be a safe I would suggest that there's a one-sex place on the island that you don't have to worry about anything happening to it so that's like base you can't get I was gonna say you

[00:39:10] can't get touch bro you meant like tag I don't mean I didn't mean it in that way but um we're okay then I think my sex scandal would be more personal it'd be like like the people find out that I have

[00:39:25] like a like a really like a 400 pound mistress or something like that like something more along those lines 400 wait a minute like he's got a family but he also has this mistress but she's

[00:39:38] also 400 pounds I think I got it yes I think I got it so one of the things is that your advisors say look to people aren't happy about about the scandal um we think you should go on to the

[00:39:53] highest rated nightly news program kind of like frost nixon you know sit down as the webmaster speak in front of the most trusting news presenter and explain you know try and try and

[00:40:04] smooth these things over um so if I was to say who the oh anderson I'm gonna call that that news presenter and say webmaster thank you very much for coming along anderson thank you very much for

[00:40:16] coming along we have to talk about the scandal that's kind of blowing up the airwaves um airwaves yeah whatever and then um people are calling it mistress gate and you know you are apparently

[00:40:30] you have a family you are keep you keep threatening your son that you'll bring him on to this island um he's he's just marooned on the little boat just on the coast threatened with being pushed onto the

[00:40:40] beach a little dingy right on the dingy just standing there um but you have this mistress and she's I don't want to be uncool but she's large um and in charge people are people are

[00:40:56] fearing that she's in charge as well can you can you explain yourself um have you seen my island I'm on your island right now we're on your island okay that's how you hear the left

[00:41:09] let's stop check out my obstacle course oh so immediately you're killing so I like them I like them I like them big man yes but princess peach has bought a robot and that's

[00:41:18] nothing wrong with that big girls need love too but this is 400 pounds but this is a robotic princess peach and then I would say have you met my family because they fucking suck and that's why

[00:41:32] that's what I would say I'm not gonna be I listen I'm not gonna let fucking Anderson Cooper make me feel like a bad person on national TV so I would say my family is a piece of

[00:41:43] shit which is why I'm running around with this fat bitch but we're not actually running anywhere because she's full of your properties but she knows how to make biscuits and my wife

[00:41:55] doesn't know how to make biscuits so that's why I'm here and if you have any other questions don't see me on the island that's what I would and I'd get up and I'll storm off I'd knock over

[00:42:06] a camera on the way out and I'd say fill me and then that would be the end of that they never asked me oh yeah they they cut that off yeah are you alone that's to go to broadcast or are we

[00:42:16] like no no next time interview that did not come out well yeah really put it out yeah what are they gonna do not run the obstacle course yeah but that went yeah that went that went pretty well

[00:42:30] I think people are afraid to voice their opinions on how that interview went um by the way what uh what sort of mundane everyday thing do you think you would ban on your island driving slow

[00:42:42] yeah no drive too slow and like yeah you gotta get it you go straight to the hate slow drivers it makes me so angry so they are going straight to the I don't know if I don't

[00:42:55] know people drive like dickheads out there but out here people drive like they have never heard of somewhere to be what are all people who don't indicate people who don't indicate that too yeah

[00:43:09] like how am I supposed to know where you where you you know like that's the whole point oh people who don't indicate on roundabouts yeah straight on to the obstacle you should have them go onto

[00:43:19] an obstacle course with little indicators under hips and they can start using them there you go oh man see or just a whole another like a racetrack on the course that's kind of its own

[00:43:32] like death death race kind of thing and they I think my the more I think about it my island is just pure chaos and yeah it's it's the economy the economy goes up and down with celebrities with celebrities

[00:43:46] because there's gotta be celebrities there to like draw the people in oh what tree celebrities but it's not gonna lie so they're gonna know what it is like this is like extreme island like this is

[00:43:57] a state from New York you know like it's not it's not fun here for the most part it's it's pretty it looks cool but look at the lights and these you know neon buildings but other than that it's

[00:44:11] dangerous yeah but these are quality starbucks and strip clubs and hospitals like these are the best you'll get absolutely yeah all the best starbucks you'll ever have yes and you have nintendo running all good pr because nintendo obviously are i don't know why they're doing it but

[00:44:27] they are throwing money into that island oh yeah i don't want to run the house so they're on it they're on the payroll now you've heavily blackmailed them um I don't know how but some for some reason

[00:44:41] maybe to try and appease the webmaster but your your people on the island for some reason have said they're really happy with you and they would like to build you something something in your honor

[00:44:52] to celebrate you you know like a parade or uh I mean can it be entombed they just really want to like you know hey they could build you a pyramid if you want but like any you know is there any

[00:45:03] anything you'd want you'd allow them to build for you in your name no I would rather I would rather than find like uh you know like a island or something to like play

[00:45:17] I'm good with that I don't so paul I don't need a statue or anything just you know play me a song and let me go to sleep I'm you're tired you're tired you guys like me but so paul your finance guy

[00:45:30] comes into your office so knock and go on hey webmaster hello so his name is paul and my name is webmaster paul yeah hello hello there just have news here we actually have uh 20 billion surplus in

[00:45:43] the economy in the in the budget this year yeah do you any ideas what we'd spend that 20 billion on should we should we blow it all on something big we definitely want to update ours upstairs

[00:45:53] that's a whole like uh yeah that's the that's the star attraction so we got to keep that running nice and other than um definitely fireworks and a stimulus package I guess we're probably so wait stimulus is in more jobs in the in the counting the dead after course

[00:46:09] like a stimulus uh money like uh send out money like uh they do they do help me here every once in a while when shit gets the pain or like there's 400 euro enjoy see you in the absolute

[00:46:23] course in two weeks that's our today exactly cool yeah now paul is knocking on your door in the middle paul man what do you want hey oh Jesus sorry I'm watching a movie paul goddamn

[00:46:35] oh what movie you watching don't worry about it sorry it's private what do you want so yeah just checking there uh i'm going away on holidays uh next week i'm going over to um

[00:46:49] Croatia before I go I just checked the Croatia's been pretty lovely don't give me a pull that face it's going to be a lovely place excited no it just I know it just has nothing to do with that I'm

[00:47:00] sure is great it just was so random to me but I I figured back here much closer than I am yes well I'm like what the fuck right yeah it makes more sense for you it's only a couple hours eight hours nine

[00:47:15] hours from from monkey island monkey foot island what's called monkey foot island um right so anyway just before I go speaking as paul I just checked that budget again it turns out we didn't

[00:47:26] have 20 billion and actually we had minus 200 billion I just made a mistake there so we're actually bankrupt so um more like it yeah they were actually bankrupt the dimf international

[00:47:37] monetary fund is going to come in and just take the island from you if you don't have any plan to they just want to know how are you going to make money so anyway I'm going away I'm

[00:47:45] going to go on holiday see you thanks for the pay to holiday vacation webmaster bye oh that's when I that's when the fun is over that's when I give everybody a big glass of kool-aid and put a bullet

[00:47:58] in my brain say it was fun while it lasted right I mean what are we really doing here okay the money's gone the fun's over no more alcohol cars the money coming for me I'm not going to prison

[00:48:11] over to get that for sure let me watch my movie and then we'll end it no paul runs back in paul runs back in webmaster I have an idea I have an idea hear me out

[00:48:29] thank god the movie was like the Irishman is like nine hours long or else it's sort of before he got back um that is a very long movie you have this show on twitter and let's face it

[00:48:42] twitter's garbage you're wasting your time on that why don't we sell it to fucking anywhere netflix amazon prime apple apple plus parmond plus would only love it right after picard because will they show something so incredibly violent they'll edit out they'll it'll just

[00:48:59] be crowd reaction shots just before everyone gets it'll be fine they do it with wrestling when people get hit with we're back in business let me go up pick up this too late

[00:49:11] get the show on the rocks oh perfect um yeah so I think they'd be happy to remind paul he's earned a nine hey you give it the paul instead he've earned us wow a drink a drink right out of the

[00:49:26] webmaster's cabinet this is the greatest day of my life and this is and this is and my wedding is tomorrow this is fantastic thanks oh man what a great day that's what he's going out of town for

[00:49:38] his wedding well no his his his uh daughter has been born his first child but he has to go over for that but the wedding is the day before now it's a great day um uh okay it makes it go down

[00:49:54] um okay by the way just quick uh obviously I don't need to explain why but there's obviously a coup attempt from the hundred senators that are clones of Elon musk uh you they get stopped don't

[00:50:09] worry don't drink don't drink the good day again you you're absolutely fine you're safe they've all been arrested what should we do with them release them talk to them I mean I feel like

[00:50:20] I feel like the obvious answer is the obstacle course yeah but I feel like they're gonna expect that for all I know they've been training oh these guys are both Elon musk they are they have the body

[00:50:33] of Mark Zuckerberg yeah I guess fight club oh right just haven't fight to the death I mean until I'm not to ruin their day you know I don't have to die but I want them to think about so you know so

[00:50:50] like a good like this fight should have ended 20 minutes ago okay yeah right if they're really if they're really fit and in good good physical um after physical peak even because of the obstacle

[00:51:07] course and then you go aha you don't have to do the course you have to just do fight club they could be fighting for hours like each fight they'll just keep going oh yeah you can go on okay

[00:51:18] new show new show that's right yeah and yeah new show let's play some stuff you won't have to do as much censorship for the tv shows tv stations there you go there you go we really want to something

[00:51:30] here Kevin where do we start this eye I have a farm out into brary he's like I don't want any parts no you see I actually plan on removing either you listen either you help me either you

[00:51:44] help me build this island or you run the obstacle course yeah those are your actions um no I was going to say that I do plan on when I'm editing this just editing out all my voice so it's

[00:52:00] just an hour of you speaking and it'll be the breakdown of ronelab that would be that would be that would be impressive I could only be kind of mad about like I'd be mad but I'd be impressed

[00:52:19] it's my new 10 minutes stand up it's just really just getting the transcripts getting the transcripts and going first oh yeah no anything I've said today yeah go good luck with it on stage

[00:52:33] I think I'm gonna get to anywhere I have to fear the things I do have fear and that's like I said what the f*** you want to come it's not usually like this no no no no actually I do have I do

[00:52:46] have two final questions right we might be able to pull this around um at some point in the future the webmaster I presume you'll want to retire you'll want to watch more movies do less governing um

[00:52:58] who would you when you give the announcement that you're retiring who would you announce as your heir and it just has to be someone that is actually alive so you can't say like your great

[00:53:07] great grandson you know that Samuel L Jackson I feel like he would do a great job keeping that kind of an environment he would keep the energy up he would you announce Samuel L Jackson

[00:53:19] and what do you say to your people when you when you how'd you announce it because a lot of them are going to be upset I'd say um I can't believe you guys went along with this I'm out

[00:53:30] and do you leave first are you hopping on that thingy with your son and going do you know what son I think you're right let's get out of here and go are you staying on the

[00:53:37] island I'm getting on my spaceship spaceship you've built a spaceship yeah why not yeah are you taking your son where are you going are you going into space maybe or maybe we'll just

[00:53:47] go to Vegas it's gonna take you about 10 minutes to fly I imagine on the spaceship yeah barely yeah yeah maybe maybe not even but for sure yeah quick hop over yeah we're gonna go and and uh

[00:54:02] you know play some slots and I'll just you've definitely taken money out of Vegas man whatever money after you after you run a killer island for acts of money here there's nothing else to do

[00:54:14] and you've taken you've taken the money out of the country which you to Vegas I imagine I mean you have to have money going there oh I mean I took enough is it enough to both fund you on

[00:54:26] your Vegas trip of a lifetime and Samuel L Jackson to run a country or have you just shafted get it Samuel L Jackson how not all the good thank you no we're not gonna no we'd leave them we'd

[00:54:38] leave them enough to but yeah I feel like leaving Samuel L Jackson high and dry sounds like a bad idea yeah especially when he has an island that now seeming he's able to build spaceship

[00:54:51] and 10 million people are less that are used to death I don't feel like you could be well I don't know I guess my concern with that would be I would have to like that have to be a

[00:55:02] contract that like I could never be put into the obstacle for us so in a contract contracts can't be broken type of thing oh yeah I assume if you're once you've ran the island you can't

[00:55:13] be put into the obstacle course oh is that why Samuel agreed to I was gonna ask how did you get Samuel to um agree to take over Bryce was he did because you were like either after the course

[00:55:24] no it actually wasn't even I didn't even have to threaten him I um I just asked like have you seen how many movies this dude is in he doesn't say no to shit yeah so so Danny Trayho was there like second option if Samuel L was out

[00:55:39] Danny Trayho would have been option number two straight in okay so you yeah you're not under run but you're definitely in Vegas with a spaceship and chilling out and one of those big

[00:55:50] drinks they sell on the streets and big cups oh I still have one of the cards I still have a cup I was in Vegas a couple years ago pretty good um yes oh Ryan Reb Ryan Reb Ryan Web

[00:56:01] what social media you're on because I found you on Instagram but you want to plug anything oh yeah um it's uh comedian Ryan Web on all social medias I have an Instagram a TikTok

[00:56:14] YouTube and then you could find me at www.RyanWebComedy.com and you could search my album on Spotify called Token Black just search Ryan Web and it should come cute the um I must say as well if you are leaving the whole tyrant webmaster stuff behind

[00:56:37] um what would your advice be to people don't end up on the island don't end up here or let me go to Vegas it's like you're sitting at a bar in Vegas don't end up on that island man even if you're

[00:56:49] running at don't end up on that island don't want to be there you don't want to be there yeah this is a solemn guy at the end of the bar what happened to him around the country or he was on

[00:56:59] okay um oh I guess I should say goodbye to everyone bye everyone I haven't figured out enough any good ideas for an outro um no oh boy there go fuck yourselves everyone done yeah that's me done that's done that's gonna that's gonna be the edit