Tyrant In Training Episode 34 Paul Longley, The Silly Little Willy Island Etc. (Republic Of)

[00:00:03] I'm not I'm not this is the one it's only one and done hello it is the training podcast Celine do you want to brock now no okay um this is trying on the training podcast I am Kevin Ryan the horse and Celine is beside me you're meant to

[00:00:19] help me with these intros until I figure out one and you are we trying to figure out when I thought this was just what it is exactly yeah thanks and this podcast what explain it very quickly in this podcast you are pretending

[00:00:35] that you are the leader of your own not you the guest is pretending to be the leader of their own country and you're asking them questions about how they would rule it and they get to give all their fund answers yeah that's alright

[00:00:50] yeah I thought it started right nicely and yes so today's podcast is from UK I don't know where in the UK but UK comedian Paul Longley yes yes and you you've seen I've seen you share his clips I've seen you shared his clips with me

[00:01:06] look at that yeah why do you nod like really dare I don't know if you impressed you had friends or not but yes so he is also and the host of a show coming out

[00:01:19] I think it's now called world twistries so you don't know did I show you this no like is it like historical like facts and stories but then they make a twist on it kind of it is basically like really obscure moments in history that

[00:01:37] they'll talk about so I the first episode is about a coffee shop in London I want to say the 17th century but I'm not quite sure maybe the 18th but it was a coffee shop in London that this guy started but you could only go into the

[00:01:50] shop and order coffee by speaking Latin what a gatekeeper stupid business pen yeah what a gatekeeper yeah because apparently there was loads of coffee shops yeah like they were like vape shops in now so you had to have a little twist

[00:02:07] oh yeah so I watched for a very good right up your alley I think I might be wrong with this but I think the second one is about like when the Dutch ate their king yeah see it shifts yes so that's online I know it's that yeah

[00:02:25] should be more known and so yes yes I have Paul on today and what I will do is at the end of this it also says where you can find it online but basically type

[00:02:35] in world twistries and that's it okay I will say that you can see this podcast if you follow me on blue sky or treads or Instagrams Kev Ryan person are on Twitter it's tyrant training very good yeah okay Johnny here

[00:02:53] out of context yeah okay look one sec hey listeners you're about to listen to this it is what it is sorry about that go to minute 27 if you want to listen to a quick review of Paddington to lovely lovely little engagement story lovely

[00:03:10] little little I've aged terribly this interviewer pulling me in for these chats and he not got anything better to do then talk to me about biscuits and orange squash is gay this grace and the silly little Willy Island where everyone has

[00:03:24] little willies I'm just being rude I'm just being obnoxious this guy's annoying me I want the ice cream we don't we don't want to upset the people at Ben and Jerry's we don't want it we don't have we don't have a court case in our

[00:03:34] hands however if you've got a complaint your contacts in head office right so you know this my complaint is some people on this island that you've made this this marketing island have tried to kill me what you think very disgruntled I don't want to do it

[00:03:53] you didn't start out very enthusiastic either what you're like okay this is it is what it is it's just to be fair I'll be honest okay I don't have them in order that's fair yeah so I started off enthusiastic and I did want to put that in

[00:04:15] there now I don't think it is 27 minutes exactly because anything is heard but I think I say there that 27 minutes in there's a Paddington story yes yeah so I don't think I think it's a bit after that maybe 32 something like that

[00:04:30] five minutes this shit intro it's longer than five minutes so you can blame our intro and it's a lovely story lovely story yeah prior knowledge okay we're done okay okay you can go dance where you yeah you're playing okay enjoy listening thanks everybody

[00:05:00] do you think you're a natural born leader no and that's all the angle I'm going with on this glad thought about it so I'm almost more as in I am not playing character but you know as in sort of like this is if this was gonna if this

[00:05:19] was gonna happen if this was really gonna this is how it would end up happening this was how okay okay it's more like it's more like that it's a I think I was almost like using it as a framework is it okay right this is

[00:05:32] this is the situation how would this how would the character of me got there and what happens in that situation I'm kind of thinking I could really hold a rug from

[00:05:42] you here okay I mean if I had a kind I would flip first okay so on your way how do you imagine getting now I'm gonna say the island was just made somewhere

[00:06:00] right yeah yeah like how do you think you would be the one who's trust on to the island trust Irish can't say th I'm interested in this so I could kill killed a natural opening terrible stuff let's just try again but be really awkward

[00:06:18] let's try every okay hi okay hello all right yeah yeah yeah we'll continue we'll start your Paul Langley is it? all along I'll stick to Langley okay I was saying that you how do you think like you would what would your

[00:06:49] origin story be so like I was thinking about this the only way that someone me could end up in charge of an island would obviously be accidentally because I'm not that way inclined I wouldn't sort of if I wouldn't put myself in that

[00:07:03] position you know I would really you know I'm just I'm not that sort going so I was thinking about it and the only the way I'd imagine it happening would be a situation that is just very unfortunate for all concerned and it

[00:07:16] would probably be you know like when you go to like I know I imagine I'm like in a shopping center or like a busy station you know you've got those like the sampling people that are handing out like free fucking ice cream yeah

[00:07:29] yeah I don't free ice cream is like yeah and then you say yes they want some details off you yeah and it's a whole like composition thing of like oh you know get free ice cream and you know when your own island you're like

[00:07:40] whatever you get the ice cream once you filled in the questions you know right I want that offer any ice cream I want the ice cream I filled in these questions I'm not taking it seriously build it you know I

[00:07:52] imagine they just want my email address ultimately and they just want some quirky answers right I don't care I want the ice cream I'm on my journey home do that get the ice cream and then of course two weeks later I get a

[00:08:03] message saying congratulations you've won oh what the island where did the who did a message come from like an email yeah because well as it was yeah it was Ben and Jerry's I imagine Ben and Jerry's for Ben and Jerry's

[00:08:15] yeah the island I reckon the island is made up of old Ben and Jerry's cartons and it's sort of like that put it all together or just rubbish in general they're probably doing like a bit of like a bit of a do-gooder campaign this is

[00:08:27] all the rubbish it's in the ocean we put it all together with Ben and Jerry it's a big rate you know like we're doing really good sustainable stuff we've made an island as much rubbish there is and you know you can you

[00:08:37] can live on Ben and Jerry's Island are we giving it are we are you gonna call are you gonna call it Ben and Jerry's Island are you gonna no this is a thing because I think that's probably what they wanted I think

[00:08:45] they probably wouldn't have had on the they had on the form first thing on there was what you're gonna call the island and they've got pictures of Ben and Jerry's they've got like the little like fish things and the cookie

[00:08:55] dough mountain and all that and they all yeah they want you to go down that path that is you know it's a marketing campaign the end of day right yeah is a big activation it's a marketing campaign it's a big PR stunt and I was not

[00:09:06] playing ball the person who was you know wanting to give me the ice cream is you know you're coming back from work if you've had a long day you know it's like you didn't see one of these shiny people in there in their little zip

[00:09:16] up little max has got all the branding on so hi do you want an ice cream yeah I'd love an ice cream yeah just put out this question and then you can have it it's okay well I really I've got no respect for you or what you're

[00:09:26] offering I'm gonna give you the worst you want to tell them that do you why don't you know it's internal I'm smiling nicely oh yeah yeah I'm bumping out I'll give them the worst possible answers they won't use my

[00:09:36] form because it'll just okay this guy's taking the piss but he's got his ice cream you know that's the end of the end of that and of course unfortunately well looks like what they didn't do they didn't just pick the best answer they which would

[00:09:48] make sense think yeah yeah they picked a random of course unfortunate of pigs mine and that's how I've ended up in a situation that I'm now in charge and you're willingly flown like you don't go well no I

[00:10:01] don't actually want to you decide well I better not well I'm just I mean again it's Ben and Jerry's you know it's a big corporation it's legally binding you know you filled out the form you've given the details I'll give my

[00:10:10] email address remember yeah you know so as in it's like I now have no no and whatever I put on that form obviously they would have wanted things like you know cookie dough island could naturally yeah someone who loves Ben and Jerry's

[00:10:26] talking about how much they've done Ben and Jerry's loads of like YouTube videos about it whole series yeah and that's what they would have to do unfortunately they've got me who didn't feel the forming correctly I was taking

[00:10:36] a piss and that's the situation with when we're now in I have a feeling what happened is during the Ben and Jerry's office and they went oh we have I don't know why but there's only 50 people who signed up on the form and then oh just

[00:10:48] pick a number 34 there and then the person accidentally looked like you were number 35 but they you know you're looking at a form with a lot of lines and you're like yeah that's 34 so they just went yeah no

[00:10:59] Paul like the actual winner is like the person who wrote down cookie dough island and it was Paul Sinai yeah yeah exactly but then they put in Paul Sinai oh this is a weird email from Paul Longley and then sent it to you so like

[00:11:11] what god what did you call it like they must have been for a shock when you gave him the name yeah well I mean I regret the cameras well I do regret I do I've been a case it's embarrassing it's more embarrassing for me than

[00:11:21] it is for them really because I again like I said the person was annoying me he was annoying yeah I'll scream right you know of course I've you know I didn't want your ice cream yeah my ice cream yeah well write down at the island

[00:11:33] yeah so I am the silly little Willy Island where everyone has little willies and in brackets just being funny I then put Republic of so it is the upside again for you it's the silly little Willy islands where everyone has little

[00:11:50] willies Republic of Republic of and you don't think you're not in the last second you'd go actually put the Republic of in front it's going to be yeah well I'd start and I and I trained and you probably only have that box to and I

[00:12:02] think you know at that point you hide the sugar levels are low I'm not being funny this is not funny this is me just being I'm just being rude I'm just being obnoxious this guy's annoying me I want the ice cream and you know I've

[00:12:16] just put this in as a silly joke as in just you can't use that now because I've put that yeah you can't call it that can you you can't possibly call Ben and Jerry's Island that is your big marketing campaign exactly yeah it's just

[00:12:29] yeah you know this week this international campaign you've made an island and you're giving it to someone and you know this is this is massive Ben and Jerry's multi-million investment and they've given it to someone who's called it the silly little Willy Island where everyone has

[00:12:43] little willies in brackets Republic of yeah little willy little willies little I said small but little is silly little Willy Island where everyone has little willies Republic of absolute that's it yeah yeah yeah Ben and Jerry's

[00:12:58] they were so close to Paul Sinai and Cookie-Doh Island and then this what happened yeah like they put in all the infrastructure here as well so they have like cookie-doh Island like and naturally like 10 minute they have even

[00:13:10] got 10 million people to sign up thinking it's going to be cookie-doh Island and yeah exactly everything's branded everything's brand in Ben and Jerry's the whole island is Ben and Jerry's themed you know but it's now officially called the silly little Willy Island where everyone has little

[00:13:25] willies Republic of it might get a bit worse because if you think there's 10 million people so you're gonna imagine there's like 5 million male 5 million female we'll say I mean how many million out of that 5 million

[00:13:36] male is going to be a bit low self-esteem and in they are going there's gonna be people on there that are gonna be we fragile mess with yeah gonna be talk constantly it's gonna they're gonna be more angry

[00:13:52] than anyone throwing their weights around because they're gonna be it's a thing of everyone now thinks I've got a little willy because I'm living here you're gonna have the people as well that unfortunately do have little

[00:14:01] willies and they're gonna be this is my worst nightmare oh yeah I've been getting by my personality and and everything else and wearing loose jeans and now everyone thinks that I've got a little willy and then you've

[00:14:14] been you've got women on there that are saying well I've not got a willy so yeah they're saying these these so this is generally like I'm from Ireland so I'm Irish you're from Britain British and in Scottish and then like American if

[00:14:30] you're from America or Canadian yeah what would the first time I've had to look back if you don't silly little willy island where everyone has little willies Republic of I mean again it is I mean Portuguese yeah the silly little Willie Ireland where everyone has little willies

[00:14:49] or willies yeah I suppose that would be a placeholder at least especially if you don't know the willy island silly little willy islanders Jesus yeah yeah I think if you say that again it's not it's not for me it's stuck so you know I'd imagine

[00:15:09] they end up going by silly little willy islanders yeah I think yeah they try I reckon they try and get it to the islanders they'd want to go by the islanders but then they were waiting on that sounds a bit like well surely this

[00:15:23] old violence you can't just be there and then also I think there will be an element of people outside world who will find it amusing that these people are stuck living there and that's their nationality so outside people from

[00:15:35] different countries will be like no no you are the silly little islanders these guys is your nationality these guys can't emigrate now they have signed contracts with Ben and Jerry's that they have to be there from next at least

[00:15:46] four generations of their family and yeah they're also little willy Islanders yeah Ben and Jerry's have fame with the best lawyers yeah I mean in some ways it's their own fault I mean if a massive company comes to

[00:15:58] you and says do you want to live on our island well you know what do you expect I mean the best case scenario they're living on cookie dough island which is still not great I mean obviously silly little willy island where everyone has

[00:16:08] his willies is much worse much worse but you know even the best version he's a really like Disney but sort of just a bit you're just living in a big product placement yeah horrible place to live yeah you deserve it to be honest

[00:16:22] with you but you know that's do you think if someone is libertarian they'd really offer well I mean I mean they say they wouldn't but I mean you know that yeah I mean but again if you've chosen to live there I mean he can claim to be

[00:16:35] whatever you know have any whatever styles you want but if you if a corporation has come to you and said you want to live on our island and you've said yes then you can't then claim afterwards to have any you know to have

[00:16:45] some sort of uncle's at all I don't really like that well you liked it when it was gonna be Ben and Jerry Island so yeah yeah yeah no your stock yeah where is this island by the way just open a tenor a some are around tenor

[00:16:57] eve where it tenor eaves round yeah something there yeah and there yeah yeah yeah for anyone who doesn't know quite warm which is I run it considering it's all ice cream based but I imagine it's gonna be a big ice cream

[00:17:11] presence yeah yeah and get out the whole island we're gonna have a lot of ice cream stores which are useless well no actually not winter yeah I mean they'll I think this is the thing where they claim to be sustainable but you

[00:17:24] know they obviously want the blue sky images they also want to sell ice cream hmm yeah the ideal situation would have been if it was much nearer one of the poles right because then it's because then it's gonna be cold and you know

[00:17:36] that they can save on energy for the ice cream it's a lot cheaper yeah yeah no one's gonna want an ice cream if you in Iceland you know I'll dole I was in Norway a couple months back and I had a brunch which I don't know what

[00:17:48] flavor was but it was gorgeous now I went there it was like 25 degrees it was amazed but yeah well you know I mean they should have done that but you probably you probably only get a week worth of that yeah exactly I mean but I

[00:18:00] think they're still gonna sell more in hot weather you know so they located there they put it near tenor eve gorgeous round there lovely absolutely beautiful yeah but of course in doing that much like I'm to be sustainable the

[00:18:11] energy bills to keep an entire island effectively refrigerated how do you think they're powering the whole island like are they just going full on oil now I imagine with the situation I mean that I legally cannot say I imagine I have

[00:18:25] discovered but I wouldn't be able to say but I think we both know that it's not that it's not solar powered yes you know we don't want to upset the people at Ben and Jerry's we don't want to we don't have a court case in our hands

[00:18:37] however you know let's be honest like I've been living there a while now and I've not seen one solar panel I haven't even seen the sun the smog has cleared any view of that only from the highest mountain I will say actually

[00:18:53] I better put in a point here at this point in the podcast this podcast can go either two ways at this point I think we can either get a sponsorship from Ben and Jerry's or we can get a lawsuit so let's just keep that in

[00:19:03] mind when you're answering questions and how exciting how exciting we don't know what's happening next Ben and Jerry's brilliant for the summer's day and for the island industry and the next question is oh if you're gonna be there now with 10 million people most of them unhappy what's your

[00:19:23] official title again this is on the form so you know you give the name of the island and what would you call yourself yeah now remember the frame of mind that I'm in here when I filled this out just one more asking when to

[00:19:34] get on the train get home and actually this is sort of the way this this changes it slightly because I've been called myself and I've had to announce myself this as everyone there as the silly little Willy Woo baby boo boy and

[00:19:46] so that's my full title the silly little Willy Woo baby boo boy that silly little Willy Woo baby boo boy baby boo boy some reality show yeah again I just put in as many words I could there just so he looked like look like I

[00:20:05] was typing something on this stupid little iPad yeah I've been time there you are look the silly little Willy Woo baby boo boy done done there you are there's my title there's your funny title there's my there's your ice cream

[00:20:16] title have that you really hate this man do you know him yeah he had lovely hair he was you know he was there yeah like you know one of those ones I was like really great facial hair a little bit tanned just really teeth wonderful

[00:20:32] quite just smile me you've worked in there with three girls all fancied him and he's being Mr. Cool oh you want your ice cream oh he's been shown off for yeah exactly yeah he's like he probably skateboarded there or something

[00:20:45] cool and anyway I did you catch his name no no I was okay I was out ice cream and now I never think I'd have to think about this ever again to be honest with you unfortunately I didn't realize it's gonna come back

[00:20:58] about any else like it has yeah who can foresee the yeah but I mean you still end up with the silly little woof fucking hell I usually get these right silly little Willy Woo baby boo boy yeah if anyone calls you the boo boy

[00:21:14] anything happens to him are you not accepting that the boo boy or the boo boy was that both depends on how they see you that day I've been I suppose there's so much dairy I've had no I mean you know I mean

[00:21:28] again it's we're all in a terrible situation here I mean if it helps and get by by calling me the boo boy I mean I don't know if again it's one of those I mean I've written on the form legally binding I imagine it's more

[00:21:39] the people the lawyers and people of Bill and Jerry's have been like no come on unfortunately we don't like it as much as you don't like it but his title is the silly little Willy Woo baby boo boy you're gonna have to

[00:21:50] yeah yeah yeah I'm there and I'm saying look I don't mind you can call me Paul and now like no no no listen the silly little Willy Woo baby boo boy yeah that shit's I thought that's what you put down you've done us over by calling this

[00:22:00] place to see little Willie Ireland where everyone has little willies above the God yeah you're gonna suffer this major bed line it so you know I have to accept it I just have to accept the title you were the first and probably going to be

[00:22:11] the only guest on this podcast who without prompting are any sort of like you need to do this for the fun of the podcast have surrounded yourself with lawyers who pester you well like anyone else will go I have superpowers I have

[00:22:28] Aragorn is my best friend you know I'm demeaned and I'm putting situations I don't like yeah well I think that's the only way that this again like I said it's the only way that I get myself but it's a situation an unfortunate situation is what's

[00:22:40] happened and right you know like if I'm feeling in one of these forms like I wasn't going to feel this in correctly we've all had these through these survey forms or something of like oh you know you know give me a funny name

[00:22:52] for a serial and you'll get like you can win a month's supply of cereal whatever it is that comes through and I've filled it out I filled it out stupidly because I don't really care about winning I just want the I want to want the

[00:23:01] sample I want the free sample and and fortunately it's come back and bit me and this is a situation we're in it turned out to be much more real than anyone would have anticipated but I think I probably thought a holiday

[00:23:12] I think I probably thought the winner winner win an island I probably thought that's going to be a holiday that's a gimmick that's a gimmick that's like you know I'll be calling it win an island but what it

[00:23:24] actually means is you just get like a really great trip and it's quite exclusive you can say that you know the picture at the picture of at the station just to sort of sell it to you what I saw

[00:23:34] was again like a tropical island palm tree you know sun clouds lovely look like it was going to be a holiday you know when you see like a euro millions advert and is all the sort of shiny letters and that that's what it

[00:23:46] looked like in Jerry's I didn't I didn't think for a second that I'd be winning an island that I was going to be in charge of you know I thought it would be something like you know the the world islands in

[00:23:57] United Arab Emirates oh yeah yeah Jimberdam I don't know are they still living but yeah um generally they had like you could buy Ireland but it would just be an island that's vaguely shaped like Ireland so I thought it

[00:24:09] would be something like that so surely that would have cost them less than this disaster that they have to now see through the end I mean it seems like they just they were really trying to make us a point of like we're not just a nice

[00:24:20] green company you know we're more than that we're like an ethos and we're really sustainable look how look how bad other companies are they have so much litter in the ocean that we can actually take all that which none of

[00:24:29] it is ours and make our own islands and actually and actually solve housing problems and everything else we're going to call it cookie dough island because that's going to be a great advertising thing everyone's going to

[00:24:38] think we're brilliant um and it goes from just being the ice cream is just like a brand you know Ben & Jerry's is a brand so Ben & Jerry's being effectively a way of life um unfortunately they picked the wrong

[00:24:52] number and uh they've ended up with the silly little willy-woo baby boo-boy in charge I I mean I hope you said to them at some point even though you're willingly going on to the island I mean lads I mean a lot of what

[00:25:03] you're doing is sounds very good with the whole environment and stuff but come on you sell ice cream you know like sit back down a bit yeah of course I mentioned it of course I did yeah I mean again more than anything just try

[00:25:15] and save my own skin I was also thinking that they might also think look yeah we're right you are right we are we are just selling ice cream here let's get on a celebrity let's let's get you know I don't know someone someone someone better that's gonna

[00:25:29] you know that's gonna do like size cream George Clooney get George Clooney on there with some ice cream um or even or they should have just got it should have been a um a coalition someone called Ben someone called Jerry

[00:25:43] that both of them Ben Mendelton yeah Ben yeah and Jerry just only Jerry the only one the only one Jerry Springer Jerry Springer and Ben Mendelton yeah yeah I was gonna say I was gonna play Jerry Adams but

[00:25:59] he wouldn't do it because he wouldn't change the G to a J yeah that's the only that's the only controversy I can foresee and so Jesus um if you're going to be undialyined and you've called it that

[00:26:14] and you've given yourself that title um which again like I'll just so regretful of it but just it's an absolute it's so embarrassing um because also the other thing is is that you have to remember here is

[00:26:25] I've done this this is not my sense of humor I don't find this funny yeah it's not like you know I'm not yeah like I've just done it to be petulant yeah you know it's like it might be in court in a moment of where you've just

[00:26:36] made it you know you made a silly fart joke to someone and that silly fart joke has got viral it's and it's like that's not my sense I was being ironic I was being I was being facetious yeah you know and

[00:26:45] that's what's happened here I'm just being petty and childish I'm 35 I'm 35 years old I don't find somewhere being called the silly little willey island where everyone has little willies remotely amusing I think it's pathetic um yeah republic off yeah see it's already

[00:27:01] a half right yeah going around calling myself the silly little willy woo baby boo boy it's pathetic you don't have to legally walk around calling us I don't suppose you do like I'm letters and yeah um but like I said you know and people that haven't

[00:27:15] seen me since school or whatever you know and then sort of like a pathetic real loser he's a real loser are you even did you have to leave the job did you have to leave the job and in London like

[00:27:30] yeah where is where in my I can work I can work from home two days a week because after being in the office three days from commuting from tenor eith or at near tenor eith they're probably not gonna let you leave

[00:27:46] probably not gonna let you leave that often that's probably one of the conditions like you know you have to stay on the island again yeah you're the face of it aren't you you know yeah you have to sort of be

[00:27:55] you've made your bed lying it by their attitude they're not going to let me just go off to work and have a normal life they probably would let you pick the house you live on on this fucking trash island

[00:28:05] basically uh any ideas where where are you gonna live what type of house living in a city but a capital island yeah but I'm imagine it's gonna be I mean it's gonna it's gonna be like it's gonna look like an

[00:28:17] upside down Ben and Jerry's car isn't it it's gonna be like a big family share Carlton the Ben and Jerry's and is it that quirky yeah like it would be upside down

[00:28:27] so it looks a bit more like a house so a bit bigger at the bottom and a little over the top or something but is that something you know I get you yes but is that something you

[00:28:35] pick way up in the hole in it I don't is that something you pick like I want this house to look like this or they well I imagine I've not picked it I imagine it's

[00:28:43] just sort of like that would be the that would be what that I thought would be the presidential house and it's like oh look it's shaped like a Ben and Jerry's car but then why would they turn upside down because dinner's not going to say Ben and Jerry's

[00:28:51] it's gonna say okay yeah I don't know it's yeah that's not this true yeah I mean I think that I think too much it really I think what they were thinking of is if you've got an empty carton

[00:29:03] like if you're making something like arts and crafts you've got an empty car upside down and then yeah because then the then the then the bottom's the top and that's the lid but really what they should have done was you'll have a foot like so

[00:29:13] the house should look like a ball carton yeah and then you know the lid is like the roof just do it normally yeah I think they got something in there artistic this isn't this isn't the first bed yeah David Zadslav who's in cherry snow at least

[00:29:30] yeah all right so I mean if you're do you have a trolling room you don't fancy yourself a bit of a king on this island I mean you are the kind of undisputed ruler any sort of trolling room or yeah there is one though

[00:29:47] yeah they put one in there and again a main mainly like photo shoots and just sort of like you know they obviously want to do like instastories and stuff with sort of like oh let's check in with the you know the king of the island

[00:29:59] but of course now it's a bit of a disaster so there is a chair there is a throne chair that I've sit on but obviously even when I go in there it's a bad atmosphere right well I mean yeah the people from Ben and Jerry's are probably

[00:30:13] yeah probably most likely I mean they probably did do that but like you go in there and he's sort of like you're right and it's off do you want me to sit in the chair and like we can if you want they're not they're not there's no

[00:30:23] there's no pageantry to it anymore you know it's they had all these grand plans of a George queeny figure you know or even someone you know like a pool Rudd pool Rudd yeah being quite fun and you know but you know and then all of this is funny

[00:30:35] we're going to do in there they're left with me I'm go this horrible title horrible name of the islands and it's you know that they're doing all they can to try and to try and bury it really

[00:30:45] because they've made that I spent a fortune in advertising beforehand yeah what's the name of the island going to be the island name is and then they've had to announce it and you

[00:30:53] know and he's the guy one he's the guy who come up with that name yeah and then yeah it's an absolute dessert it's a fucking PR nightmare is what it is and so there is a front room but it's

[00:31:04] it's more that just got boxes in there now they've got like some they've got just stuff that like like you know what the user for storage sort of like I'll be yeah that I mean it's just like

[00:31:13] I mean I've said to him like could I keep it as a front room could I sort of come in here and use it as well you can use if you want but you know we're not we're not doing anything

[00:31:20] spectacular for you I understand to be honest I completely get it you know I mean they're trying to limit our losses on this aren't they they're just like what we do legally have

[00:31:29] to keep you alive under silence yeah I mean I mean they're not they're not going to want to go on there you know they're against the live to all the people around the world you know and have a

[00:31:37] quick Q&A with the silly little Willy Woo baby boo boy are they you know there's a new one so you know no one's gonna want to be hearing from that fella um so I think they are all the great

[00:31:46] plans they had have you ever seen those things of um uh you remember Mr. Blobby they did like a mr. Bobby world and um now it's like it's completely derelict it's all these sort of like

[00:31:59] like no one lives there obviously no one's visited it's closed down it's all these like empty mr. blobby shaped houses and it's all mr. blobby theme but it's all falling apart and dilapidated

[00:32:07] and that sounds like a great for a horror movie oh yeah really yeah exactly that I mean it's not just picking you but it's the fact that you are clearly mildly disinterested

[00:32:19] to put it lightly I'm up for it you know I really am you know again but in a in a bad situation give it a go yeah of course I'm more than enough for giving it a go I mean

[00:32:31] I'm there now you know and there's all these people that you know and there's a sort of like they don't at the moment they don't hate me they did at first obviously but then I when I

[00:32:40] announced my name they were they were fine with it and so what he's got it worse than us um and uh there's a little bit of like look I feel bad about the situation there in I didn't know

[00:32:50] this was happening um so you know I want to give it I want to give it my best shot um because we're in it together really I mean um you know as you know you know he's what it is he's

[00:33:01] what it is when they're doing these things especially initially they're still trying to like maybe boost morale a bit on you um like they decide to build you hey look we will build you a monument you know we'll call us your name unfortunately the the silly little wily

[00:33:21] wily baby booboy um monument but what do you want the monument to be of you know if I'm being if I'm being completely honest I think it would always be nice to have a statue of myself

[00:33:30] but you know a big statue of a nice thing to have wouldn't it you know yeah I mean there are some people like there's some there's some shit people in this world that have got statues and

[00:33:37] so yeah and some very you know and I'm thinking you know you should have it as a name that by the time you leave this earth that you have a statue of yourself so yeah if that gets off that to me

[00:33:47] then brilliant I'll take it I think you know of course the extensive uh knowledge I have of you I think you I can say that you would surely be in the top 50 percent of people who

[00:33:57] have statues as like good people you can imagine that right I imagine 50 percent yeah yeah yeah I mean I'd be in that I mean it'd be one of those ones that go I've never done that I mean it's we'd be one

[00:34:10] of those it's in sort not yeah nice guy don't get me wrong nice fella but I don't know what they're doing with the statue there'll be an element on the island I suppose as well of where

[00:34:20] there'll be sort of like look he's fine he's a he you know he's all right but do we need a statue of him and I imagine people at Ben and Jerry's would also be like this is a last ditch attempt

[00:34:32] it's almost like we're gonna lean into this now we're gonna lean into this yeah this is my willy woo baby boo boy bring something out of him you know look look we think it's great we think it's funny

[00:34:42] we think it's funny like we think it's so funny we build a statue of the guy what's the what's the pose well what's the pose though because I think that makes her break the statue like is

[00:34:50] it just you standing with hands on hips or what's waving just like a wave like a like an entrance one wave two waves yeah uh two actually because it's I didn't realize they would take

[00:35:02] when I it was it was basically my entrance when I arrived on uh silly little willy island where everyone has this will is you're not waving off um when I was on the island it was two hands

[00:35:13] because it was also a little bit of an apologetic oh sorry about that yeah yeah so it's a smile but in the smile there's something in it that says I'm deeply embarrassed about what's about to

[00:35:24] happen here yeah um yeah statue almost commemorates what is effectively quite a now historic moment because it's ultimately an average guy who is ending itself up in a terrible situation that's probably you arriving on the island as well as probably like I mean it's a world famous photo

[00:35:40] or video uh as I captured so like that is a famous pose it's like Richard Nixon with the the yeah that's it peace sign um and then if you're like oh do you have a favorite movie

[00:35:55] I do have a favorite movie and it's Paddington too it's okay I'll be honest I have not seen Paddington too but is that not meant to be an absolutely brilliant movie it's unbelievable

[00:36:08] and again I was not a Paddington fan growing up I was I was into Suttie and Paddington was not on my right arm so I really first was introduced to Paddington at like 27 when the first one

[00:36:20] come out yeah and they were oh it's quite good I remember watching as a family and was like this is fantastic and then I watched second and eight in my favorite film ever since um in so much

[00:36:31] so um going off the tangent um me and my now fiancee when I proposed to her I actually played some music from Paddington too that's how much of a fan is it we are as in is it fun music or

[00:36:41] like no it's genuinely beautiful music like it's actually sweet really yeah like again I mean this is not a funny bit for a for Chora comedy podcast but um I don't know yeah yeah you don't like this

[00:36:54] fast forward yeah bastards um uh if you fast forward you'll get back to me saying more silly willy stuff in a minute so just you've got two choices fast forward fast forward a minute and

[00:37:04] a half you'll get some silly willy stuff or stick with us for a lovely lovely 90 seconds I'm gonna hold on a minute I love your time it um oh it is it is okay starting and I'll let you speak about

[00:37:15] Paddington and our last questions now right go Paddington too basically so yeah Paddington too so basically it obviously has been our our favorite film since since we first watched it

[00:37:25] um and uh when I proposed what I did was like I created a book um there was basically every single photo from the beginning of our relationship until the present day in Paddington

[00:37:36] the main thing about it is a story book a pop-up story book and when they show this in the film it's all magical comes to life and they play this really nice music so as Katie was given this book

[00:37:45] and she opens it and sees the story of our relationship so far yes I played the music from Paddington too that went alongside it and the last picture on the page was actually a picture of

[00:37:53] me and her dad as I was asking for permission to marry oh yeah yeah so I flew to the bar for the day and then um and in the last picture it says chapter two and had a picture of the

[00:38:04] engagement and very good come here it wasn't a pop-up book was that you didn't do a pop-up book version I it wasn't that yeah I couldn't do pop-up no no no that's what I was like Jesus this no that's

[00:38:17] very good very good yeah it was it was it was flat but you know no no that's the guy yeah very very nice very nice the emotions audience the emotions I mean anyone out there who's listening

[00:38:29] anyone out there's listens to so far thinking oh an awful man I've actually there's more to me there's more to me there's depth there's depth to this man it's depth to me you've missed it so far so I'd say go back and listen to the beginning

[00:38:40] does your friend say does your friend say like Paddington too oh I love it absolutely loves it okay we're done no more Paddington lovely yeah just got that in very good uh prime content um okay so uh what a how do I fucking segue

[00:39:02] so what scandal do you cause on the island about yourself that the people aren't happy with don't you're not allowed to bring up that movie that is now banned from this podcast yeah i'm not

[00:39:11] going to yeah not going to yeah not going to um what scandal um actually I discovered a scandal of me today that uh might might work um you know everyone's got like a weird like food thing that they

[00:39:24] do that they like but sort of people are like oh don't do that you got one of those you know we're saying like you like a certain thing like you might have like something in a sandwich that other

[00:39:31] people wouldn't necessarily you know okay I'm very sexual not sexual no no no I didn't I didn't I didn't even bring up the word sexual you brought that up but I don't I'm not a bit

[00:39:41] at all I'm very picky and bland and sad and normally same yeah yeah um so I can't think off top my head but yes okay what's the scandal involving food so um I am quite partial to dipping

[00:39:59] a rich tea or plain digested biscuit in orange squash in orange squash I honestly I thought you were gonna say in a cup of tea there and I was gonna go my god that is the most that's the best like about British British statement you could make

[00:40:23] um yeah I don't even know what I'm doing but um okay and wait how did you find this out like did I mean how did you find out that this is a scandal so who are you like

[00:40:36] I just I was saying at work because I had someone I had digested biscuits at work and I was like it's really nice for glass or in squash you know like between a glass from a squash I said normally

[00:40:45] have a glass or in squash and I quite like dipping it in and then people were just horrified I sort of knew I knew it wasn't really a thing but I didn't know it was going to cause such a

[00:40:53] reaction reaction yeah yeah um and in basically I worked out what it was so I was thinking about it is is that I remember when I was in like nursery school it'd be a thing of where you'd be given

[00:41:03] like as a snack squash and a biscuit and obviously me and the other kids at the time was mimicking our parents dipping a biscuit in tea yes and then but as a four year old I didn't really

[00:41:15] just I didn't really think this was disgusting I just thought oh that's what you do and I actually now read most of it it's quite nice but so I don't know as a term of controversial scandals go

[00:41:25] it caused such a reaction today that I feel that if other people heard that they probably would be a little bit is he all right um you know if you're if the lawyers have been in Jerry say

[00:41:37] listen this is just plain fucking weird one of the things we could hold our like hang our hat on here is we're all in a terrible situation the company is burning money but you seem kind of a normal

[00:41:49] common man who's just in a bad situation too exactly yeah yeah just keep it keep it normal just talk about Jerry's whenever you can yeah yeah don't do any attention to you and we can we can

[00:42:02] move past it you know like that yeah this this armed squash gate is after blowing up and people are discussing it online blah blah blah um we think you should go on to the nightly news show

[00:42:14] and just try and explain yourself you know don't yeah yeah explain yourself don't justify it don't apologize for it you're a leader for god's sake but okay okay justify don't justify it explain it

[00:42:28] that's it yeah so don't get confused go out there go out there sell them as it is so okay thank you leader the the silly little willy woo baby boo boy thank you for joining us um and explaining

[00:42:44] how the economy's going to be very tight this year um we need to speak about orange squash gate uh people are very upset yeah yeah people don't understand it they you know let's be honest and

[00:42:56] i'm not speaking personally for myself um i'm impartial as a journalist but a lot of people are angry for for being forced to come here not reading the contract um they arrive up onto this

[00:43:08] island they see you waving apologetically as a as a as a real bastard is some of the things describes but yeah for the last couple of months we've realized you're supposedly just one of us

[00:43:19] and didn't we see this flashed all across the newspaper why um look i could sit here and i could i could say it wasn't me i could say that it was a uh a smear campaign i could say that it was

[00:43:34] a mistake i could say all these things to you now but what i will say people of the city little willy island where everyone has little willies in brackets republic of is that we're all

[00:43:45] individual we all make mistakes yes but we all have things that we do that other people might not do okay that might be let me finish let me let me finish sir if you wouldn't mind now that might

[00:44:01] be that you're the sort of person that likes painting when you get home from work that might be the other sort of person who likes running at a weekend or you might be the sort of person who

[00:44:13] just likes dipping your biscuit in an orange squash you know we're all different we're all in this sorry mess together now i say let's all just get on with it i'm all right and then i i i i adjust

[00:44:28] you for a round of applause which obviously doesn't come no they're just staring at you yeah it does not does not land does not land at all do you think the lawyers are like in the corner

[00:44:39] go and cut cut yeah that give me a yeah that yeah that that give me that give me the cut neck that was that was a disaster just like and then the problem is because at the beginning the lawyer

[00:44:50] said to me there as you remember would say don't don't apologize don't don't you know say you're wrong or anything like that i'm just what are you doing in that situation i try my best

[00:44:58] to get out of it and i just sort of like try to rally the police it hasn't washed it hasn't washed because ultimately this isn't about the biscuit in the orange juice the other orange squash

[00:45:07] this is about everything else really this didn't matter why do you just said that wasn't on the chair even though they've turned off the cameras like anderson the reporter has just jumped for you

[00:45:19] when you said it's not about the orange squash he is fucking infuriated that you'd say that but he's probably gonna get dragged down to prison yeah right i'm saying look it's not about yeah and

[00:45:28] i'm still going i'm still going that's still hearing this i don't know i have no idea and i'm saying look this isn't about the biscuit in the orange squash this is about the fact that people are

[00:45:38] in this mess and i am the scapegoat it doesn't matter what i did it doesn't matter what i've done there if i'd have eaten ice cream i'd have been in trouble if i didn't eat an ice cream i've

[00:45:47] hadn't eaten ice cream i'd have been in trouble i'm the scapegoat whatever i was going to do they're going to find something to know me to because i am the silly little willy willy baby boy and i understand that i understand i understand the situation we're in here

[00:46:02] yeah exactly again like like are we actually annoyed that i've put a biscuit in some orange squash of course we're not but i'm that guy now i'm that guy you know as you say that there was

[00:46:11] that time there was that time that the security have come over and have just just kind of said sorry we need to go there's a riot outside i mean there is a full on riot people are fucking

[00:46:22] furious um but you're you're you're happy with that you're i mean what else as you said well as can you say well again it's one of those i mean i mean ultimately i'm surprised it's

[00:46:30] kicked off as much as the house because it is already there's a biscuit in orange squash right i mean it's you know it's i didn't expect it to cause anywhere near the controversy that it has

[00:46:38] i'm aware that this is just like i for god's sake you're just finding anything to throw at me now you know like come on like this is silly this is silly this is a silly situation we're in

[00:46:47] let's not let's not make this work i mean who's this who's this interviewer pulling me in for these chats i mean do you not got anything better to do than talk to me about biscuits and

[00:46:55] orange squash he's gay he's a disgrace no he's a jail he must know yeah i'm in jail now no no no no he is yeah he is he is oh good oh great perfect yeah because i mean you know this is an absolute

[00:47:08] this is a yeah out of order do you want to give me any kills a little bit better you don't think you're gonna give him any leniency or let him out no he's looking at 30 years is he that's that's

[00:47:20] steep that is steep i mean it don't get me wrong i think they didn't write the constitution well to be honest yeah but is it this is and this is is it that's ben and jerry's that's saying that he's

[00:47:31] going for 30 is he for that yeah they've written the constitution the the whole laws and stuff to be honest they got chat gpt to do it so it was a bit dangerous on that yeah um but yeah

[00:47:42] so i mean they gave you a room yeah yeah it to me it sounds like this interview was from walls from where wolves i think is arrival from walls walls ice cream is arrival they've been

[00:47:56] over a hand to him it's like i'm not familiar with derivory um no no you think he was a plant arrival i think it's a plant i think it's a plant i don't i think this by the seams of it if you

[00:48:08] get let's go back a second here let's go right a second i've lost my i've lost my shit in the middle of this right i've lost my shit in the middle of this and i regret that you know like we've all

[00:48:16] with it's all absolute it's a it's a pressure cooker place it's an absolute fucking laughter um but look if we go back i have all i've done is i've dunked a biscuit into my orange squash

[00:48:29] a photo has been taken how convenient how convenient that photo has been taken at this when you were in a park right suddenly suddenly it blows up everywhere it blows up everywhere it's all over the island everyone's talking about everyone seeing it who took the picture only bloody

[00:48:44] anderson from walls so look uh look he's clearly there he's there to cause trouble he's he's he's a he's a plant he's there to stir it up as much as he can because he knows that ben and jerry's

[00:48:57] he's gonna it could crack at any minute it could it could kick off at any moment yeah he's waited his chance unfortunately what he was hoping for was that okay right the guy that put

[00:49:06] in charge look what he's called the place he's going to be an absolute fucking lunatic he's going to be and he's going to be an idiot no i don't know what they've seen is a very

[00:49:14] yeah what they've seen is just like a very sort of apologetic a bit of a weak character sort of moping about the place apologizing for any meets and you know posing by his statue

[00:49:24] but again he's sorry about it and people just feel a bit sorry for him and just understand the situation and he's he's you know the people from walls are on the phone to him and they're like

[00:49:32] you've got to get something anderson you've got to get something at the moment they're the way things are for ben and jerry's going back up with all this you know and so he's what am i gonna get

[00:49:41] he's gone with that he's gone with a biscuit in the orange squash drink specific it's plausible but yeah yeah it's not too extreme no exactly but it's one of those ridicule things i remember there was a

[00:49:55] there was a picture of the former aid someone like i remember his name he was a he was a labour leader and he was eating a bacon sandwich on a train and he basically became famous for

[00:50:04] eating a bacon sandwich mess in a train and that's the fella yeah yeah yeah well done i didn't i didn't already ate bake a weed what he eats bacon sandwich have you on a train or like

[00:50:17] an station or something he ate a bacon sandwich but messily and someone took a picture of him and it it was on the front page of papers and stuff and was like look at the state of him eating a sandwich

[00:50:26] and he and he basically went down in people's estimation yeah yeah yeah um so um that's basically what he was trying to hear he was trying to do a bit of a milliband on it with the um with

[00:50:37] the biscuit in the squash um and it was backfired because ben and jerry's look after their own hey did you see ah you've yeah cheers cheers you actually got a glass for fuck's sake you're welcome to have ben and jerry's

[00:50:58] oh that's sick we might get sponsored out of this it's quite a journey this it's from the early days of where ben and jerry's were not not on board with me at all they

[00:51:07] they haven't got a choice about to stick by me at this point they're like now it's that speech went from it's like in a movie where the speech starts off badly and then it ends with

[00:51:20] fantastic yeah yeah Ben and Jerry's stick to their own Ben and Jerry's point did what did you do stick to their own stick with their own yeah Ben and Jerry's

[00:51:31] yeah yeah stick with their own yeah yeah for a second I tell you stick to their own no stick to their own is is is no that's not um I think it's that point by the right by the right stick by their own

[00:51:44] I don't know either way it sounded great I don't know what the words might have been the best but it sounded great um yeah I think after it Ben and Jerry especially the lawyers I assume you have

[00:51:56] about a hundred lawyers just following around all time telling you what to do and don't f**k up and all that but they're probably very impressed with you just that the last sentence of the of your

[00:52:07] speech inside in the the news station as Anderson was getting carried off to jail um so they're probably very like this guy is all right this guy could make something of this place okay we're

[00:52:20] all on board with you let's really help this guy now right this is a third act of the movie type yeah you think though that they're still gonna say like of course at that point I imagine the

[00:52:31] stomach falls out me ask because I'm also thinking right okay I was almost all right with them just sort of like disdainfully letting me know what we'll about but now they've actually got faith in me

[00:52:42] this is where it gets messy so is this the point where you think like maybe I can rule like maybe I can like like throw my weight around a bit to actually do good yeah because they would say

[00:52:53] I've got to be on board but there are riots outside I keep people are still angry yeah I've got a bit of an adrenaline rush from that I have to say um you know I'm

[00:53:03] really am I'm fired up um so I reckon it's probably a 20 percent 20 percent of me think I could give it a go yeah um yeah I could do it could do it um I don't know what it is but I could do it

[00:53:16] they are like great like now they're coming in with actual plans going up we're thinking of building a monorail we're thinking of doing a tram service all this now there are riots going on

[00:53:25] and several parts of the city and stuff like that um but don't worry about that first thing I say the first thing I say is have you thought about raspberry and sorted caramel together

[00:53:38] because I'm still thinking about the ice cream and then I realized that they're still on the island stuff and they're not really they don't want they don't want to rest the ideas from me

[00:53:48] and now I'll do it again I sit back down again um so they that at that point they sort of realized okay maybe maybe we'll they have to find a way to tell me what we're gonna do what they're gonna do

[00:54:00] and now just sort of push it to me because I've got I've got carried away and I'm now coming out with flavors I think I'm will you onka what was that what was that raspberry and salted caramel

[00:54:10] together yeah it's not terrible I think they already I think I think they've turned it down too quickly to be honest with you I think they uh the silence in the room was deafening

[00:54:22] when I suggested it and I was incredibly embarrassed but I think they might have I think they were just oh that's why it went quiet maybe yeah I would have just suggested something I've already eaten

[00:54:35] you just you were eating it as you were saying it have you thought of yeah then of course now I understand yeah no I've embarrassed myself yeah oh no no but they they've all had a they've all had a chat they're like no let's stay with them listen

[00:54:49] we have a we have an issue we have an issue we need your input it just yeah he got he got over excited yeah don't worry I'd like the energy just basically he wanted to make an ice cream

[00:55:00] the energy is okay right yeah we're back okay no more ice cream flavor there was a coup attempt by the um orange squash biscuit in us the haters I don't know they they're not going to come

[00:55:12] up with group names yeah um there was a coup attempt and they did try to murder you we have them locked up there was 10 of them uh what should we do with them the 10 of them one of them is Anderson he broke

[00:55:26] out a prison prison attempted murder was it yeah yeah yeah just a little case of what's he got I mean he got us a lunatic um well I mean surely we just hand him over to the authorities

[00:55:40] I mean it just seems you know it's on the island yeah and we put them in prison they must be some sort of are they going okay right thank can we take them to another prison is there another prison

[00:55:49] and the where's where's the company um Ben and Jerry registered to as an as a company uh yeah where's their head office because that would probably where they're registered to and we could maybe so you're gonna ship them to the head office for sure I mean they wouldn't

[00:56:02] have located head office to here this is this I mean if you've got a complaint you're contacting head office right so you know this my complaint is some people on this island that you've made

[00:56:14] this this marketing island have tried to kill me um and they're broke out of the headline of the email prison that's made out of cardboard cardboard containers yeah look it's yeah hi guys it's me hi guys it's me there's certainly just a willy-woo baby boo boy um

[00:56:29] I bet you've tried to operate you've some of your people on there tried to kill me yeah look it's I'm not all right with that that's look uh there's one catch up one to talk about

[00:56:40] one thing after another it's gonna be silly you've got to come and take these guys away the head office is in Vermont they'll just have to help you right so I mean that's a

[00:56:49] I mean it's very good please yeah um but we can ship them to Vermont maybe see what they do yeah I mean it's their problem it's their problem yeah head office look head office is the one

[00:57:01] that come up with this stupid stupid island in the first place they can deal with when it gets out of hand they're probably going to be very confused though when like an army of their lawyers sent

[00:57:09] back an email saying hold on a minute don't don't write this whole operation off yet I think the guys got something and then a week later they're sent over 10 very angry you know assassins you

[00:57:20] know when you're making a substandard omelette you're gonna break a couple of eggs bad eggs and this is exactly what's happening they're gonna have teething problems along the way there's a lot of teething problems with this and with that there's murder attempts so they're gonna

[00:57:36] have to there's a bit of paperwork sure but I mean I can't deal with it we've already we've already established the prisons don't work you know they the prisons on the island you know they're not

[00:57:46] to scratch you know so I can't like you know they have to have got to go elsewhere you know I don't like kicking people out but you know you've got to draw a line somewhere and I think

[00:57:56] trying to kill me is that line there's a bit of yeah it's a bit over a bit over the mark do you think that on your contract surely there's a like a time limit like you have to be the leader

[00:58:08] for X amount of years probably yeah I don't know if I've been here days or years at the minute it's so stressful it really is I mean as you can there's not the highlight has been that

[00:58:22] interview when I when I you know got a little bit of an adrenaline rush the rest of it is so stressful also I quite enjoyed my job I quite enjoyed my job before this yeah and then you know

[00:58:35] the worst thing I did was was uh was buy that was get the free ice cream at the station how I've changed that moment I reckon at the moment I reckon the reality is it feels like

[00:58:45] I've aged terribly I reckon I've I reckon it feels like I've been here 10 years but I reckon in reality it's been a week that week Jesus because I was thinking long I was thinking that in the

[00:59:00] in the contract it would be like a year because they were planning to do like a reality show and they'd say oh at the end of reality show we can have you choose in your air yeah so like

[00:59:12] after a year when they come to you to say look the reality show didn't work out but we still have to legally let you choose your air please consider wise wisely I guess who are you picking who's your air

[00:59:23] and do you know they put you out onto this balcony the plan was it'll be a lot of pump and you know brilliance to it now it's just just a few people stand up going what do you want

[00:59:33] yeah so at this point it's like again I imagine I imagine though the series would have probably been quite interesting to watch because it is literally just an absolute disaster show yeah it's not it's probably the show would have been more successful than than they would have expected

[00:59:48] it to be because I know what I wanted was like oh isn't this fun like a few problems you know he comes up with quirky flavor everywhere but in reality why happens is an absolute

[00:59:59] shit storm and no those are sort of the best documentaries anyway you know with her riot so it's a bit bad yeah yeah it's a bit off but obviously by the end of it like you know

[01:00:11] like I said then it feels like I've been there 10 years I've been there a week so imagine 51 weeks later the state I mean like we're fast forward in a lot of stuff I've seen over this time

[01:00:23] you know they've they stopped answering my messages after you know after the first month that I was really was left to it yeah we got by you know there was there was food everything

[01:00:32] and everyone they were like look we're just going to get through it yeah like you know we know we know what this is I think I think a lot of the civilians gave up on why they pulled out I think even the

[01:00:42] civilians gave up on writing like after a while they're like look let's just get rid of let's just finish out here although they've stayed there for four generations they're really fast

[01:00:52] actually but um oh yeah they are but they know they they sort of like to be honest it's nice weather it's nice weather there's this there's free food nice cream and then get a new leader in

[01:01:02] they'll get a new leader in he might get here she might be you know my my my pick up yeah yeah they're hoping that that person comes in now they'll have an actual title they'll

[01:01:13] they'll rename the island something at the pro that's true they go again and it ultimately I know we said we weren't going to mention it but they said you know it's a bit like

[01:01:22] Paddington too the second version will be better than the first oh yeah first of course was really good and this this this version here is a disaster but there is an element of the second

[01:01:32] series of discs will be they've ironed out the creases that got in they'll get in and they will get in a pull rut they will get in something but that's thing but like when you stand out on the

[01:01:42] balcony and they say to you look if you can just mention Paul Rudd but legally you have to pick who you want to make your air and you stand out in front of people like who are you picking

[01:01:51] like they can't interfere you get to pick they've put you on this island for a year now so yeah when you stand up and they're like what do you want what do you say to the people how do you

[01:02:00] announce your retirement okay I'll tell you we're gonna find out we're gonna find out right now are you ringing okay I'm gonna ask you to give me a letter ask me to give you a letter

[01:02:13] yeah give me a letter or no wait let's see T the letter T yeah do you want to come down of 90 seconds the first person that comes up on my instagram with a letter T yes is going to be the new leader

[01:02:32] of this island ladies and gentlemen I give you Tony Cantwell very popular I can't tell if he uh I'm gonna guess he's yeah actually hold on and one way I'll go I don't know him and then I'm gonna pause Tony Cantwell wow not bad yeah not bad actually

[01:02:54] there you go I'll make a decision later um do you know Tony do you think he'd be up for it I don't know I just follow him I think he's hilarious um and um but I think look I've

[01:03:06] unfortunately I suppose it's legally binding he's on his way now he's on his way yeah no they do kidnap the air that was part of the contract I mean I think I think he'll do a better job than I did

[01:03:16] because I mean he's going to be briefed on the way and it's going to be like look this I mean he's going to know about it right he's going to know about the guy that's called himself the little

[01:03:22] willy-wee boo boo boo boy for the last you know the last year so he's going to go and it can be like look Tony look this is the situation just rename the thing after Ben and Jerry's flavor

[01:03:35] call yourself the Ben and Jerry man or whatever whatever you want to call yourself and we'll get by do you want to know the do you want to know the horrifying truth of it all yeah even though they

[01:03:45] told you yeah yeah no we'll sign contracts with Tony and that'll be fine what actually happened was is your franca Katie mm-hmm hi Katie um Katie was actually the ruler of this island for a year

[01:03:57] you didn't know about that what actually happened was she had to choose she had to choose an air and she ended up choosing a letter p Paul lonely and then what they did is they worked you for a couple

[01:04:09] of months just Joe what's the thing where they leave little hints so you get used to eating ice cream and getting rushed every evening and then they planted that guy there to make you sign that contract

[01:04:19] that's what they're doing with Tony now they're gonna they're gonna harass him for six months until he's really so he's really into the ice cream at the minute yeah see he's going to get stung

[01:04:28] for that as well and he'll think oh I made a mistake when actually Paul lonely set him up and that's what happened with Katie I'm sure Katie's lovely but she's also a manipulator yeah wow so

[01:04:39] what did she get so what did she get out of this the last year I mean I will ask her when I see her but um I don't see the first thing that was going to mine I was gonna say drugs but I'm

[01:04:51] like I do not know you well enough to be saying mean things um she got she got a lot of um and uh walkers crisps she liked them yeah yeah she does actually yeah yeah smoky bacon do you get

[01:05:07] smoky bacon she I mean she yeah she it wouldn't be a flight it would be her favorite so I'm surprised that she did she did all this for a flavor it's not a favorite but um I might have been a variety pack

[01:05:16] oh baked oven she got baked oven crisps oh yeah okay I can understand this this is all together quite nicely yeah yeah I know who she is yeah um so it was actually walkers that were behind this all

[01:05:30] along interesting it was a giant venture right right okay so walkers walkers supplied the supplied the the bounties as it were they gave the cat in crisps um Ben and Jerry's made the eyelet yeah

[01:05:44] walkers strolled who how that was gonna play out oh fucking pure pure capitalism walkers controlled again Ben and Jerry because minions um yeah you know it was annoying I couldn't get a fucking

[01:05:57] chris for loving all money on that no no no no no it'd be too obvious too obvious because you know there's so much ice cream it's so sweet you'd actually quite like something savory every now

[01:06:06] and then like chris would have gone down an absolute treat but right and to be honest if they just went to the walkers island seems actually quite pleasant yeah yeah hiking yeah off hiking yeah

[01:06:16] and there's loads of crisp packets lying around so you know that you know it's like they're just cleaning up their own mess after the island has made it but um yeah all right um do you don't stay

[01:06:27] on the island are you going backward Katie living back saying huh we bought god yeah I mean yeah I mean we'll have words we'll have words of course I'll say I'll be honest I can't stress enough

[01:06:40] how bad the last year has been and how embarrassing yeah um you know like I can't really again even going back to work and stuff is in sort of like you are just known as a guy who lived on

[01:06:52] the island no you willy island where everyone has little willies republic of republic of for a whole year the whole year the whole world you know no one really knew who I was no one

[01:07:03] I'm not friends and family no one knew I existed before this but the whole world suddenly made me as the silly little willy-woo baby boom boy it's embarrassing and you know and

[01:07:12] that was all because she wanted some variety crisps from walkers um yeah big govern big govern be fair yeah big govern of course sorry it worked bags oven yeah but they will you know we'll course have

[01:07:22] words over it and stuff yeah I wish Tony Campbell all the best I mean he's really got a tough maybe in a year he can have words with you as well and you might all get have a stronger

[01:07:32] relationship yeah I must send him some crisps I must send him some crisps yeah do you need do you need some baked oven crisps I can't guarantee I'll bother sending them but if you'd like some

[01:07:42] I'll yeah well I mean I mean we've got we've got loads here because obviously I paid Katie and Chris so she's like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah after a couple of bags she was bored of them that's

[01:07:51] the island do you do you feel bad do you feel bad that they seem to have paid Katie off with a lifetime supply of crisps she wanted and you seemingly got nothing

[01:08:00] you were just told get off yeah yeah I mean that's that's what we are going to talk about and also that I could be sold for crisps that again they're sort of like look I've been with her eight years

[01:08:12] she does like crisps but they wouldn't be what her go to you know this she likes much more yeah halloumi loves halloumi loves it can't get enough of it that's halloumi we don't have

[01:08:25] that here do we yeah that's all rubbery cheese that people grill oh okay yes okay yeah yeah halloumi is the cheese that's super-large enough um so yeah you're going back um any last words

[01:08:40] was to leave the island any advice as you go oh yeah yeah my last words just be sorry about all that I think that sort of fits and it's fun to both yeah sorry about all that and they all look they

[01:08:51] have a look at like I think yeah yeah yeah they're there for four generations the right the right thing to say the right thing to say yeah yeah yeah short and sweet yeah to be fair a lot better than the

[01:09:03] orange squash gaze speech yeah at least you learned I think you learned from that um yeah fair enough Paul um yeah what a what a what a fitting the appetite again to your reign sorry about that

[01:09:20] awful siren I was yeah um no it's different different time be honest with me Kevin was it the worst time you've experienced it was a different energy it was a different energy

[01:09:34] real mess wasn't it it was it was it was fine it was fine um it was it was it was I hate leaving this podiums going yeah it was grind uh it's a real

[01:09:47] no triumph end there was no murder there was no no sort of real control at the minute I open my mouth about this whole what I call this island I'm gone I'm absolutely gone I want to hear it back

[01:09:59] I might put in at the start you know I'll I'll have edited it so I'll know what point but I'll say like hey listeners you're about to listen to this it is what it is sorry about that go to minute

[01:10:10] 27 if you want to listen to a quick review of Paddington too it's out a bit late we've a lovely lovely little engagement story in the middle lovely little little top quality you couldn't

[01:10:21] have written the fucking thing better uh yeah go to what you did you come you come to the you come to the end for a quick uh sort of dissection of what what has taken place

[01:10:31] where you hear the remorse in the guest's voice yeah to let you know but maybe maybe it didn't quite go to plan okay so how about we'll we'll try and end it on a good podcast that

[01:10:45] we'll try and end it on a good note right but first of all do you have any socials to plug just a free um I do uh I do I do luckily um again uh if you're listening out there everyone

[01:10:58] if you're still with us thank you for sticking with us um my uh Instagram is Paul underscore Longley or on TikTok as Mr Paul Longley I do a video week a funny little video week um but also I'm here

[01:11:10] to plug the fact that myself and some some powers from America sounds more glamorous than it is basically sort of did this project via a via zoom we met up during lockdown doing various film festivals

[01:11:22] then we met in real life and like let's do a project together we did this um this really cool project where basically it's like a comedy history thing and and it's it's like true weird historical

[01:11:32] events that took place in the past and it's you'll have a sketch of it filmed alongside an interview with a historical uh you know learned person telling you all about that event the two married together so you sort of like uh and entertaining educational piece

[01:11:49] about all weird things that happened in history um we've just finished our first episode we're going to be putting out in the new year um there at this point we are planning

[01:11:56] on a live screening in London um yes as I'm saying this to you the dates and everything haven't been confirmed so I can't say it's going to be on this day if it does happen

[01:12:06] um Kevin might put the little link yeah it's really good um okay and what's the name of it again it's called world twi world twister is um yeah so it's like weird the first one is

[01:12:18] going it's basically on this guy um who opened a coffee shop in the 1700s and basically you could only enter the coffee shop and buy stuff from the coffee shop if you spoke latin and of course the coffee shop went under because there wasn't enough latin speaking people

[01:12:33] who were waiting to order a coffee in latin yeah in the 1700s yeah um so the coffee coffee shops were like really really popular surprisingly coffee shops were around the 17 hundreds now

[01:12:43] really really popular in 1700s so much so that people had to give them like quirk so as in almost like oh this one's this themed or something like that um so he went with this theme of

[01:12:53] it being it's latin speaking um so you could only order a coffee in latin um he it went under and so he's basically about it's the history of history of that um anyways there's gonna be a

[01:13:04] future episode I think there's something about um Brian was telling me he's found a historical event where um the dutch wants a their king so that's gonna be a future episode so that's

[01:13:15] that's something that would be a that would be a future future episode to come up just to learn about once the dutch ate their king so yeah yeah all coming up in the future

[01:13:24] but yeah that's uh old twist stories um and you can if uh if the event doesn't happen in london for one reason or another you will be able to watch it on fancymovies818.com that's fancymovies818.com

[01:13:37] or on oakmeeproductions.co.uk which is my website oakmeeproductions.co.uk yes there we are and yeah I'll be putting up links everywhere amount of links hurry um all right Paul thank you for

[01:13:51] uh uh kind of being badgered into going on to an island by your and tricked by your fiance and then tricking someone else an Irish comedian uh Tony Cantrell on to the island

[01:14:01] and thank you everyone for listening I don't have an outro do you have any ideas for an outro sorry what was it sorry about all that yeah sorry about what oh actually quick review uh 10 second review Paddington tree is there a Paddington tree surely it was after Paddington

[01:14:16] it's it's gonna it's Paddington tree I think he's coming out next year uh so we can do we can do an we can do a pre-review yeah uh do we like it uh it's really good however because it wasn't

[01:14:29] directed by Paul W. King who instead uh stepped aside to do uh the Wonka film with his co-writers Simon Farnaby the one that's just us yeah it wasn't quite up to scratch as the other two

[01:14:40] however it is still worth a watch it is still a very heartfelt family film yeah okay lovely I think that's quite solid gonna be quite a solid review actually yeah yeah I think that's yeah yeah um

[01:14:51] all right it'll be it'll be the dark night rises to the dark night with Paddington two big dark night yes yes good yeah good all right it was a film it was a film review pod it would have been

[01:15:01] it would have been perfect yeah um I let myself down trying to be a tyrant ultimately hey not really um all right uh bye everyone go go home all right bye everyone right about all that