Tyrant In Training Episode 44 Midday Musings Pod - King Stephen & King Laura of the Glorious Democratic Republic of Stelaura

[00:00:07] Hello everyone, this is the Tyrant In Training Podcast and I am Kevin. I'm the host and I am here with my fiancee Celine. Hello. Yeah. And also we have a cat now who's joined us. I will be honest.

[00:00:19] I came into this intro about five minutes ago with a lot of energy. With very, very concerning energy. Very concerning energy. Stressful energy. Where I tried to pressure Celine into Making a controversial take on a presidential election she knows nothing about. Yeah

[00:00:38] You don't have any controversial opinion about that? No, no, no, no Unless the controversial opinion is that I don't know anything about it, which I might as well say it now It was about the Mexican election. Yeah elected her first female president. Oh good

[00:00:52] I don't know anything about her but I did a quick bit of digging and she's supportive LGBT rights I think she is one of her policy platforms is to kind of like strengthen animal abuse laws

[00:01:03] Like against, not for. Oh brilliant. Yeah. Okay. So she says. So hopefully she's married to a banker They're not all bad, I assume Yeah. Ooh controversial take Hello. Okay. Can you explain what this podcast does? It's not about the Mexican election.

[00:01:19] You speak to people and ask them questions about what they'd be like if they were to run their own country Would they be tyrannical would they be not tyrannical? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah Your enthusiasm really threw me off there You're not used to that

[00:01:39] We've been together 11 years now Okay, so speaking of another couple who've been together for who knows how long they've been together Our guests today. So Stephen and Laura our podcasso's of their very own podcast

[00:01:55] They do it together. So you only join in for this little bit, but they do it together called midday musings Who's the better couple? I mean probably them because they work together. Yeah, right. Yeah and on their lunch breaks

[00:02:05] They do the podcast. Okay, so I think it's like hold on a minute. It's four I think it's four times a week. They only work four days a week Right. Yeah. Well, no wonder they have more time to commit to their relationship than we do

[00:02:18] I've texted you more than once on our lunch break cuz we work together and told you don't come near me I want to spend an hour away from you. Yeah, we don't even work on the same floor No, you made me come and get you tea once

[00:02:32] Yes, so Stephen and Laura have a very nice podcast and that's that last about half an hour They should take them with longer breaks Yes, so I was chatting to them. Do you want to hear some other context quotes? Yes, please

[00:02:43] I will bring up the last one again because I want to give out you and bring up a long forgotten Like that we've had It's like I'm sorry about all the lack of freedom, but please enjoy this delicious amount of money or this

[00:03:02] Unhand me. I am a common man Unique down with the Windsors What if we go as far north as you can we go to Antarctica and we cool? We warm up a region of it Stephen. Where do you think Antarctica is its? south You're Steven

[00:03:24] Yeah, you cannot tell a fucking map or a direction on any I can I just I just say something a certain way No, okay. No, I'm gonna explain this like him and he's very nice right and very funny

[00:03:34] Right, and then quite enjoyed the two of them, right? He's talking about let's go up north to Antarctica Yeah, and I get that the planet is round. I get that right. I believe it full 100% I

[00:03:48] Don't fuck see talking about you can't like go north to Antarctica is the exact same as I know I need to give a bit of context for people who aren't in Ireland

[00:03:56] Tipperary is in fucking south of Ireland Galway or no Sligo rather where you're from is a lot further north It's about three hours away north fully north direction You always say when we are leaving Tipperary to go to Sligo

[00:04:13] Why are you going down home? It's not you're going up. I I know I know that it's But I know that it's up the way I know that it's north. Yeah, it's just a turn of phrase

[00:04:29] It's not a turn of phrase. No, it's just how I it's my turn of phrase You can't take that away from you and Stephen need to go up to hell because you haven't a fucking clue I'll be honest

[00:04:39] Is there a possibility this is a slightly in defense of Stephen but also not very much that he taught Antarctica was north Because it's the Arctic and then Antarctica nobody gets that wrong. I Don't know Antarctica is because ants live on the ground So that's so yeah

[00:05:01] That's how you remember know that yeah, okay No You'll never know okay We will spend That's my day now and not doing your work. Okay, so you can listen to this podcast and

[00:05:18] Where no wait, you can find this podcast on the times in training dot podcast page. That's its website Yeah, and you can find it on on blue sky trades Twitter Facebook and Instagram just follow me at Kevin person They should follow you as well. No

[00:05:38] And on YouTube they would look for a tired podcast That's where you find all the episodes very good No, I'm go follow them all and subscribe and and listen and like you tell them. Yeah, okay I haven't asked this before but I'm curious

[00:06:03] Have you ever said to each other? Oh, what would you do if you won the lottery? Like, you know Stuff like that. Like if you won a million 50 million, what would you do for stuff like that? What do you know give you heard people say?

[00:06:15] Oh if I won I'd go into work and just you know, throw everything at the boss and say I'm out of here If you if both of you were about to go on either a plane or a boat to go to your new island That you're taking over

[00:06:28] What would you tell people before you go or would you just go quietly or would you want to like go out in? A blaze of glory like I'm off this out of this country. Oh, I'd fully ghost And let the mystery follow me for years to come

[00:06:41] But you would because I assume in like a month's time they realize well Anna minutes She's actually leader of whatever country like you're not gone for years unless you want You do you want to like Wakanda? Like nobody knows the outside world

[00:06:54] No, I'd love to like slowly become known as the leader of an island But like you don't want to make the waves you want other people to carry carry tale of like you want your Reputation to precede you so I would just disappear and then

[00:07:10] Through social media and maybe Reuters They slowly come to realize that a dictatorship and on an island Has been staffed by someone they once knew or someone they are related to right and then I would take no calls

[00:07:26] Are you acting really like blaze about it? They're like, oh my god Laura You're actually like leading a country and you're like, yeah doesn't everybody and just don't bother

[00:07:34] Oh, yeah, absolutely. Do you think that's the wrong approach? Like how would you how would you go about it? Are you? I'm just an advisor. I I'm all in invest in this and by the way

[00:07:42] I should mention how are you a compliments because I can throw them out to you if you if you like I'm a fan of them. I I like them as long as they're sincere. I'm here for them. Your beard is

[00:07:55] Yeah, so I you know, I I have to deflect but they make me feel warm inside because you're part Irish Yeah, yeah, I mean you can't see but the freckles the freckles are clearly oh, yeah

[00:08:08] She burns like she just gets set on fire the second she goes outside this son Like every single day just sunscreen every day. Where would you have your island? Oh, where would I have my island? First thing I want to answer actually the last question about

[00:08:23] I will do I think I would actually do the opposite thing that Laura did I would go out I would call a press conference. I would call a press conference. Tell them what I was doing

[00:08:34] I would assemble my closest allies and give them the opportunity to come and live on that island and tell them What how it was going to go down?

[00:08:43] And I would base I would basically make it be a very public event and say that anyone is welcome to come as long As they abide by the rules that I set down so come and join but know that I'm in charge

[00:08:55] Oh, that's interesting like I would leave my old life behind but I would be immediately Compiling dossiers unlike US foreign policy like potential global alliances that I could start the conversations on Well, that's the thing I would I would like not necessarily like closest friends

[00:09:12] But like I would pull in people that I know would be excellent advisors advisors and excellent allies and go look Do you want to come and start a comp? Do you want to come and start an island an island Empire with me?

[00:09:23] I think you'd be a strong second. You'd be good at this to be good at this come be my Advisors be my like my team, you know And I'd assemble a team of people who were honestly much smarter than me

[00:09:34] But at least neutral good at least neutral good do you I like it? But I think there's a flaw but maybe I've missed something because do you think so you're walking around America right here in America, right? Yeah, right

[00:09:51] You're living in America and didn't you go okay today we're off to our new country Laura says don't tell anyone I was here and ghosts everyone she like Blanket over and tops into a car and whatever

[00:10:04] You decide I'll meet you there later. I have to do a press conference but like I presume you're never you know, you're you're you're Blue-collar average Joe like do you put up on Instagram?

[00:10:16] I'm having a press conference and you're like sitting outside your house going I thought there'd be more people showing up Text some people I know do you want to come to the night? Yeah, like I feel like you don't have to reach it

[00:10:29] Do you know what I mean? No, that's fair. That is fair But with the money you could have the reach for it. Oh You already text you yeah, okay after that you've gotten some people actually I might as well set this do you want a?

[00:10:45] System of government where you have like a Senate so you have people voting for the Senate But you have overall power or do you want your circle of friends? From my side it really depends

[00:10:57] I think the the the policy and the government is really going to be dependent on the resources So three things the resources will in the resources and the people of the island will inform what the policy is it will inform?

[00:11:08] What the government is so depending on what we have if we have like a crapped out of coconuts and A bunch of materials to make steel, you know to make the I don't know to make weapons Yeah

[00:11:20] We may be a bit more of a militant state if we have the materials to make like a bunch of rum We might be more of a fun Part of a nation

[00:11:28] It really depends on what the resources of the island are and what the allies are like both the people within the country And the people outside the country so that will inform what kind of government I put together

[00:11:39] Okay, I have an idea on this and since I'm first on the ground Yeah, I will be able to establish the skeleton of this So I want a bureaucratic structure in so much as there are ministers of labor ministers of trade ministers of

[00:11:55] Different factions, but I want there to be no legislative body yet Like maybe that's that's something that happens if the state is perceived as too autocratic by by the citizens Yeah, and and so we wait on that it's pure authority plus like tiny bureaucratic pockets

[00:12:13] Sort of like a China Pre pre-modern era thing that makes sense. It's like a start. I mean, it's a startup country, right? It's not very big Yeah, I can't have like a hundred representatives in a house

[00:12:29] To make it easier then as well we'll say unless you insist on having less that's up to you I'm just making her up that whatever the island is it has 10 million people as a population That's plenty if you want less you can you don't have to have 10 million

[00:12:43] I just use it as a round number and also the 10 million people who show up there a day after Stephen shows up and nine weeks after her Laura had shown up apparently and

[00:12:57] They like they've all willingly come along so like if you if if they show up and you're saying look There's no you know, we're not going mad into your bureaucracy here. They're happy with that

[00:13:08] Like they know what's going down if you decide there's no no elected officials or anything. They're happy with that as well They are all in on you because you're wonderful. You're wonderful people

[00:13:24] So what we'll do is we'll say where in the world you want us I will even share screen how are you with geography? Medium good Medium Okay, so What do you think student? I'm leaning towards a Pacific Island. Mmm Pacific Island. Okay, so in the Pacific Island

[00:13:44] We're gonna have good good weather. It's gonna be pretty Pretty warm ish, but we'll also have a lot of potential Weather events we were talking like typhoons monsoons a lot of rain which would be good for crops But also I think the Pacific Islands could be good

[00:14:02] We just have to be aware of like potential natural disasters. There's a natural disaster I mean there are natural disasters in so many places, but I'm looking at our potential

[00:14:13] Antagonists and I think the Pacific is just a lot safer than like the Atlantic and the Indian Ocean is a little more isolated That's true. Okay, but I could also talk about North Atlantic if we're just chilling with Iceland Greenland, Canada

[00:14:27] Okay, okay, okay, this is chilly that and we're probably a mineral rich nation that's true Okay, what if this is this is just throwing it out there. This is kind of wild take it as you will

[00:14:37] What if we go as far north as you can we go to Antarctica and we cool we warm up a region of it? Steven where do you think Antarctica is it's? south Wait, yes Yes, yes and we warm up an entire region we basically we basically

[00:15:04] What's the word when you not colonize it? But you we terraform Antarctica. We have to tell you to terraform Antarctica Okay, do whatever whatever we want. We are way out in this untouched Area and yeah, I think that could be an interesting approach. Okay an Antarctic nation. Yeah

[00:15:23] There are some challenges obviously because like, you know, you're in the middle of nowhere the resource is probably gonna be kind of scarce So it may not be ideal. I'm kind of are you trying to poach the scientists?

[00:15:35] Kind of I mean the scientists are gonna want to go right? Well, they're already there What you could also be like hey look how close to Antarctica you'd be yeah

[00:15:43] Yeah, we're gonna hang out at McMurdo station. You know, that could be the one I've seen how many people are living there now A Thousand people. Oh, there's only 200 during the winter, but you'll warm the whole place up gods did the

[00:15:57] Rebellion extinction rebellion are going to be in crazy Madagascar if you warm up Antarctic and yeah already the enemies Most environmental agents, okay Okay Let me take a step back because yeah

[00:16:13] We do not want the eco terrorists to come for us because they totally will but if you're looking for Chile I mean somewhere between Iceland Canada and Greenland could be great. We could form a trade alliance with them. That's true We could experience

[00:16:28] darkness for like months out of the year, you know, I love me You know in Ireland like it gets dark Okay, yeah Right, but but the thing is the resources though

[00:16:47] I don't know that the resources are gonna be as good up in Greenland and Iceland because it's too cold I think you might you might have been onto something the more Pacific more Tropical climate is gonna have more rich farming resources. Yeah, right

[00:17:00] In in this region in the Greenland Canada Northern Hemisphere regions, there's usually a lot of mineral richness So that is our potential Cash that that's our potential economic Starter, okay Again would there be any oil up there Donald Trump wanted to buy Greenland for some fucking reason

[00:17:30] Yeah, probably probably he he did so much that and we were bombarded with it every single day that there was a sort of Racer that happened in our lines. Yeah, just just overloaded in the crazy pants

[00:17:43] But yeah, we could fight Denmark for Greenland. We could we could they're not a militarized nation, but boy do they have friends And the thing is we are centralized there right like we have a lot of ports We have a lot of water

[00:17:56] We're close enough to Canada and the US that if we want to ally with the US or right there We're also close to the UK and Ireland and France They're gonna be good allies as well

[00:18:05] And we're also kind of just a little isolated while still being close enough to have good trade routes with the different parts of the country Or the world. Okay, so it sounds like we're probably a seafaring nation. I think so. Okay. Oh

[00:18:18] Going back to your Viking heritage indeed Indeed. Yes So do you reckon you are going to be planting an island because we're obviously building the island itself We're not taking over a land, but we're putting it between Canada and Greenland

[00:18:31] I think so maybe somewhere like in the yeah, like it is somewhere by that Because I Just remember you don't have to go to war on this podcast It's it's an option because you've mentioned antagonizing weapons allies

[00:18:49] Invading Denmark apparently a few times now and Denmark are one of the founding members of NATO But we'd put an island there. We see how we go Do you have an idea what the name of it would be like you don't want to say Oceania because of the

[00:19:02] Associations of 1984, but it is a good name. It is a good name And it would be in the middle of the ocean. Huh? It's not gonna be named after either be first or second names No, oh, I don't know how deep into like the egomaniacal cult of personality

[00:19:17] Are you willing to I feel like you're you actually have quite a Sensitivity like it's a danger area For your ego in the culture He spent millions on a press conference without even setting foot on the island like right right like to my 380 Instagram followers

[00:19:38] Right, like I might be out there going yes come join us in the glorious land of Stevens glorious state and also Laura's But but here's the thing right like I do have a propensity towards that of like Wanting the fame the glory etc

[00:19:55] But I know that in order for if we are co-president monarch deity whatever we need to get along right because she's gonna have equal Power so like I'm not gonna do anything. That's going to cause a lot of upset there

[00:20:07] I can scale it back. I can like be a little more measured You know, I don't need to like I don't need to name it after myself I think something that represents the spirit and the place of where we are. I think that's a good name for it

[00:20:18] What are what if our tick topia? Would you name it after each other not after each other but together like have your name in it So it's like a duo or are taking over this island like Laura Steven duo island

[00:20:30] LSD island would be short, but like you'd be fine Laura Stefania You have a couple name I've never asked this for no actually Oh I'm not I'm not a fan of Lorphine. I

[00:20:54] Don't know I don't think you're allowed to I think it's the couple that has to do it no Oh, oh, maybe that's why we don't have one yet. We never we never had this this meeting Wait a minute. You're not a real couple You're a shame

[00:21:09] Together doing doing everything together, but you haven't created the cult of couple personality We're necessary to be a real couple were secretly married to other people in other states. It's a it's a green card thing Both American but yeah You're both from Denmark Wait, what about Stella?

[00:21:30] Like because that's Stephen Lloris. Okay, I'll take it Yeah, it means it means Could be the the star jewel of the Arctic Ocean, yeah, yeah, and we'll specialize in blubber or still Laura Stalara I like that still Laura Laura Laura. We got a couple name. Well done. Yeah

[00:21:48] Oh, do you want to name the island after Stalora? Okay, okay, it's pretty fresh I feel like we need a couple meetings to come to a quorum on this but hot take. Yeah, why not? We'll call it Laura. We'll call it the glorious independent Nation Democratic no

[00:22:05] independent nation of Stalora the Democratic Republic of Stalora Democratic Autocratic Republic of tyranny of Stalora. No, no, it is the tyranny minus the autocratic. There we go Wait democratic. I was writing democratic Compromise know what democratic something of Stalora the glorious Democratic Republic of Stalora

[00:22:27] I said Flourish the glorious I can have all that out Democratic Republic. This is gonna be brilliant for the SEO score on my Laura yeah, the glorious Democratic Republic of Stalora is is is down or price

[00:22:41] We have it sat down the middle between Canada and Greenland. Um, I assume I mean you're ruling together So are you going with King and Queen or what official titles do you want? I will be King and King Wait, I thought you have an anti-mirarchy rule

[00:22:55] I mean, I I'm an autocrat now No, you're King but I'm also King I like King Yadwiga of Poland Oh, I thought you were saying you were gonna be both the king and the other king

[00:23:13] We can be King and King yeah, yeah the co-kings of Sparta like it's it's got a rich historical Presidents I am so confused because in the time that I've Kevin at the time that I know Laura whenever I'm like Kings monarchy She's like ah monarchy

[00:23:31] Down with the Windsors, right but So I'm deeply surprised by this answer that she would be like, let's be co-kings. I'm into it, but I'm surprised fully honest After ten years, we're still surprising each other Any bit of power you see what happens morals go out the window

[00:23:49] But is it King is it King Stephen and King Laura? Did is that how people greet you or is it just King King's King Laura is how I would like to be referred to King Laura and I King Stephen, you know what? I'll take it

[00:24:02] I wasn't planning on having a specific title in the monarchy area, but why not? No, no No, I was more like president Co-presidents. I mean that's the sort of thing that leads to elections and we don't want that

[00:24:16] Right right because if we if we're president then that implies but we already said we're a democracy that's the thing we said We're a democracy. I mean Democratic Republic of Stalara. Oh Right, so it's representative democracy and we represent a monarchy

[00:24:33] Fine I'll take it I'll take it. I don't really care about the title too much So King King Stephen and King Laura there we go. We're co-kings. Yeah since you're going royalty I assume do you have and because of my Irish accent, I'll not do this justice

[00:24:48] Do you have Thrones like seats of power? Do you want to one of those okay royal halls to sit on people walk in and see sitting at the top? Here's my proposal. Okay. Yes, but I do not sit there unless it's a special occasion

[00:25:04] Unless it's like ace a special ceremonial occasion. Yeah, okay, and Once a month. No once a year we pick a very special Commoner that gets to sit in the throne for a day and gets treated like a king. Oh, okay. Yeah, I like that

[00:25:20] Island tradition for a full day. Yes They basically were able to sit on the throne they they're they're weighted on in that area They don't have to be there for the full 20 hours. No, we lock them onto the throne

[00:25:42] Be commoners were like in Aladdin and then they'll realize how we have it Every year I'm not kidding. We're like, yes good So I was thinking of this as like a good way to elevate the common man and let like connect with them

[00:26:00] And Laura's like no, this is a punishment you sit in that throne and you wait you stay Is it because do you want to give them ideas if you put them on the throne and you're like

[00:26:11] Well, I suppose you put them on it saying hey enjoy you're enjoying yourself and when they go, yeah, I'm loving it like get used to this and then you shackle them there and Put weights on their legs so they can when they start to get company

[00:26:23] No, okay. So actually actually it should be a lottery system right so that every every Every citizen has an equal chance of being selected and that every citizen That's the hope that you have in this autocratic nation. Yeah

[00:26:38] And you are forced to sit in the chair and you're forced to listen to other commoners complaints Yes. Yes, and it's a lottery system every citizen. Okay

[00:26:50] There might be an enforced situation the first year when an eight-year-old baby was selected and forced to sit on the chair and Made to listen. Is that okay? Are we making an age limit here? I think I think that's actually charming I think you take lots of pictures

[00:27:04] And then you release it in the Democratic Republic of Us yeah There's this city in the US out in the Midwest that for a while they literally had a dog as mayor and it was

[00:27:24] The most popular mayor for a while like he was he didn't do anything obviously He's clearly like a placeholder, you know, but like people love that stuff

[00:27:34] They're like look at this dog. He's so cute. They're gonna love having a baby like an eight-year-old kid as king for a day They're gonna be like this is adorable, but he can't make any okay. Yeah, I actually I have a crazy idea now

[00:27:45] Yes, what's that? Oh, no, I was gonna say Yeah, no laws although although We'll see we'll see. No, I was thinking that in addition to our monarchal power We also have a Premier who is a horse? Oh

[00:28:05] Okay, you're going and like when we're being upity everyone always loves the horse But you're going like Caligula Sorry what you're going like Caligula where he elevates the horse to power that it has a Caligula Quality I won't I won't disagree with you but more famously level-headed

[00:28:28] It's it's for the people you can meet the the premier horse and take pictures with it Yeah, and it's it's there at a certain like certain store openings And events I think that would be delightful. I think I'd just be fun

[00:28:43] It doesn't have actual power again. No one has extra power except for us the goal with autocracy I think is to introduce enough Whimsy that it becomes like an idiosyncratic thing. We're not threatening we look at our premier horse

[00:28:57] You're distracting. Look at him. So you distract the citizens. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay, I'm the world's Premier stallion he's charming everyone loves him like why yeah He's always wandering around the the island and in like a sort of royal promenade and you get to see him and everyone

[00:29:14] Like loves this guy. Yeah, he's dressed all fancy and he's a horse and he doesn't cause any trouble Oh, and he has saddlebags that are filled with snacks. Oh, oh

[00:29:23] Yes, that's another that's another great idea when you're when you're a dictator you want to have a couple of like Little things to give your citizens like I'm sorry about all the lack of freedom

[00:29:34] But please enjoy this delicious amount of money or this delicious snack a delicious amount of money Much money. Yes. Yeah. So you're you're you're like a social welfare. You're giving them our universal allowance

[00:29:49] I think it's just I think that the the horse has a set amount of goodies that he can distribute and it's it's sort Of it's another kind of lottery where it's just first come first serve and when you see the horse you go and see the horse

[00:30:03] And and get a gift from the horse the gifting premiere Horses of our island nation, but someone is always with the horse because of course can get spooked Yeah, yeah, he has a handler. Yes. He might even have jingle bells

[00:30:17] I don't know. Oh, it's like the ice cream truck you hear him you hear him coming and you won't you go and get treats I don't think you should have money on him though because people get weird about money

[00:30:26] I think the money we should air drop once a year on victory day. That's when the person that's Totally stealing from from HBO Max is the regime But we're gonna call this day victory day when one Commoner sits on the throne, right?

[00:30:43] Okay, right and the horse goes throughout the well actually maybe the horse just does that throughout the whole year goes throughout the promenade Gives us snacks. But on the on victory day, we also rain money from the sky. It's not a lot it's like single bills like

[00:30:58] Boy, I thought it was like kind one to five you dangerous. Yeah. Yeah Not coins, okay Yeah We can also we also have a temper sometimes Yeah, a couple of coins just keep everyone under toes, but mostly cash

[00:31:19] Well, like if a region has has displeased us greatly and they're like on the verge of rebellion We're like alright coins coins for that section. It's a sign like not a lot of coins

[00:31:29] But a couple coins. Yeah, and we announced it. We're like just so you know, you're getting the special treatment this year Western front and they're like, oh might want to stay inside for the next day You're about to be okay

[00:31:44] Yeah, just stay stay inside and then after the the raining metal That sound ceases you go out and collect It's it's fear and love, you know a nice a nice melange a marble cake Exactly, you're gonna have pennies raining down from 30,000 feet onto your citizens on victory day

[00:32:08] No, no non-victory. We have such incredible infrastructure Yeah, so on victory day the region that has displeased you will get Metal flying down under heads. Okay Okay victory day why is it called victory day? It's called victory day what happened?

[00:32:26] It's victory day because it is the day when it's It celebrates the day when we are all Commoners and kings we are all the same. That's that's the the meaning of victory day

[00:32:39] Okay in this that's that's the thing we're trying to present here right like because the king will also spend a day as a commoner Right. So it's it's uh, it's the victory is that we are the same That's the that's the symbolism we're trying to get across

[00:32:53] We are commoners you are the king and it's hard being a commoner. It's also hard being a king It's kind of nice being a commoner. It's also kind of nice being a king. We are the same the victory is the unity

[00:33:04] So on victory day, you're all the same all together and then for the rest of year. It's defeat You're not the same There is a king there's two kings That's fine. That's good. Yeah, we'll work on that No notes I have a

[00:33:26] Question oh i'm gonna i'm gonna split this up i'm gonna ask king steven, uh one question So king steven i'm wondering what unusual list is your country? the glorious republic of god democratic republic of stelloria um

[00:33:42] What unusual list is your country top of what unusual list? Yes an unusual list as opposed to like the best health care or the most Fun people or whatever. Hmm. Let's see The most metal raining from the sky on a single day

[00:34:03] Guinness book world record. Yeah, there's actually only one country on this list and it's yours Um, it's us Um, yeah, I think I think that's it like it's low-hanging fruit, but i'm gonna take it Yeah, yeah, you're gonna promote this any bit of tourism

[00:34:20] Come see some sight actually. Yeah. Okay. Yeah working that Like one day it just metal rains from the sky On on in a in a i don't know in a hunger game situation where the the region that displeased you most gets punished um

[00:34:37] It's it's a first for this podcast and king laura. I have a question for you is what seemingly mundane thing is banned in your country What are you getting rid of? That's usually legal elsewhere I mean if you want to help with a tablet

[00:34:54] tablets you mean like like uh Like tablets that you tap on. Yeah. Yeah, um, I I mean like ipods. Oh any any like ipads. I yeah I did I say sorry ipods don't exist anymore. Um ipads uh kindles The whatever google's doing

[00:35:14] You're just getting rid of anything. Yeah, no interactive screens above a certain size Oh, what is that for quirk and also to ensure um that the service industry remains robust with um with available staff positions

[00:35:33] To remove some of the automation. Yeah. Yeah, we're anti-automation. Yes, and pro horse Pro our horses allowed a tablet if they can use it um Only the premier horse. Yes, so there's no Screens inside and cars, you know that are all tippy tappy screens

[00:35:54] Yeah, yeah you uh, well there can be screens but they have to be smaller than uh, six inches diagonal Just because how precise indeed It's seemingly mundane Yeah, no, I I don't I don't particularly care for tablets. So i'd be okay with that

[00:36:11] It doesn't change my life. The um question is because you're the rulers Of course I mean you can have tablets and ipads if you want Do you think you'd have some I think in solidarity with my people I would only know you immediately

[00:36:23] You immediately nodded in agreement there and then looked at stephen to see whether he agreed and then change your mind I saw that this is so funny. I didn't even register that i'd looked at stephen Yeah, I I was nodding in thoughts at my own

[00:36:39] I thought you did a shifty Unseeing I think he's gonna agree with this. Oh, no way he hasn't screw it. Yeah. No, we're going for it You get the big things sometimes you got a big thing about this

[00:36:50] Yeah, no, no in solidarity. I would only have an iphone Or uh a television set something that's non-interactive What if that's fair? That's nice of you what if he really wanted to see a movie and you were traveling and you like

[00:37:06] Oh, you can you can use a tablet if you want to to watch it You wouldn't use it then it's a long travel It's a long travel do I still have like a small tablet like a cell phone

[00:37:16] You're not gonna watch a big movie. What's your favorite franchise? Uh, probably at this point the hunger games. Oh really? Oh great. Um, okay You're not gonna watch that on the phone are you I might instead of a tablet for the for the glory of the people

[00:37:30] That's what makes our republic so glorious Yeah, and democratic. Are you are you are you are you going along with this anti ipad? Movement now, are you an ideologue like I am or look here's the thing I'm going to say something that sounds very 1984 but restriction is freedom

[00:37:48] so in this case through restricting our Our phone devices our devices to specific parameters We actually free up our people from having to choose so you can either have a laptop or you can have a phone

[00:38:02] You don't have to think about that third option. So restriction is freedom. Yeah, i'm done with it I don't actually have a tablet. I actually don't I think tablets are like a weird intermediary

[00:38:12] Like device I feel like they're they're not big enough that you can play a full like pc game on them And they're not small enough that you can carry it in your pocket and like calling i'm not going to call an uber on

[00:38:22] A tablet that's weird. That's why it's outlawed in our glorious democratic republic. So I actually don't like tablets That's my secret. I'm like, no, they're fine. They're they're whatever And if people so if people bring them in during jail

[00:38:37] If people smuggle them into the country, they're punished. That's when they get the coins Actually, this is an excellent time to introduce our aggressive prison labor system. I want to hear this

[00:38:48] You have the floor border v. Okay. So as a seafaring nation, we are naturally concerned about pirates. Absolutely um, and we we have a A wide berth around our island that we police and every time we find a pilot throw them right right in jail

[00:39:04] A pirate what I said, I thought you said a pilot Piloting pirate pilots and pirates anytime we find a pirate anyone. Yeah, right to jail pilates or a pilot or a pirate You're in jail. Okay anything. Yeah in jail and if you have a

[00:39:19] Tablet also straight to jail like just for three months. Yeah, think about what you did and also produce labor for pennies on the dollar Thank you so much for your contribution to our glorious economy

[00:39:29] So if I have a tablet if i'm jim, I have a tablet because my eyesight's really bad And I can't see the phone but a tablet is perfect for the uber

[00:39:37] Um, i'm in prison for three months and I have to make these debt pennies you said was it? Uh, yes Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're also the mint The people are the main No, the the prison, uh labor system is the minting. Uh, they mint money

[00:39:55] There yeah, oh, so that's how they create people coins And and also that that saves us from having to to fund a whole separate Uh branch of our government to mint money and here's the thing

[00:40:08] I I want to I want to downplay the I want to scale back the coin initiative, right? Because we don't want to actually kill her. So you were the only one who's consistently brought her up as a first option That's a good point

[00:40:22] But okay, i'm okay. Okay, so there are levels there are levels here Uh at the lowest level you don't get money you get fake money with like a middle finger on it

[00:40:33] That's raining down that's the first level it doesn't hurt you. It's just like don't be a jerk. Yeah The next level the next level is like it's it's chocolate coin

[00:40:44] So it's not going to kill you but every now and then one of them is going to be like a metal coin So like just be careful Can I can I just stop there actually there might be a problem

[00:40:54] So if you're saying time to go to defcon 2 and then you start raining down chocolate pennies And everyone is inside in their houses and then they hear The the jingling horse outside and the helicopters and then all the kids go

[00:41:08] Chocolate pennies and they run out and then one of the kids gets hit with an actual coin Like they're sticking their tongue out like they catch them like they're snowflakes and they get hit with a proper coin

[00:41:16] That great put your faces on them. It's uh, it's it's not great. It's not looking great. But yeah Yeah Okay, you know what? Nope. Nope. I'm taking it back. No just chocolate coins. Just chocolate coin. That's it

[00:41:29] Yeah, that's yeah level two is chocolate coins. We flick coins at people who have who have uh, why is it coin based? I don't know. I I don't know anything about coins

[00:41:38] I mean, I don't know everything but I do think that mario probably scarred you as a child Yeah, this is probably like a mario base. Yeah Mario no, so like if people displease us we flick coins at them like actual coins

[00:41:51] You're like no you're bad social shaming like we flick coins at them as they get dragged through the street Yeah, that's that's that's not as bad That's not as bad or or maybe we send them. Uh, we send them a message from the premier horse that just goes

[00:42:06] nay It was gonna is the premier horse dragging them through the street? No, because the premier horse is not it's a whimsical horse It's not it is not associated with punishment. Is he chill horse? This horse is it?

[00:42:19] Yeah, it's actually the cult of personality is around the horse. Yeah, king lora said she wanted a horse to shame people By going oh no The thing is when you do something bad, then the horse sends you a video message just shaking their head Right, okay. Okay, okay

[00:42:36] And so spiritually that's that's quite that's quite the punishment Yeah, it's like it's like the and then we level up to again the prison system It's like the queen isn't going to like physically Attack you she's not going to be the one that physically punish you

[00:42:51] But if you do something bad there might be a video of her going I just I don't know about them. Just like shaking their head I think it's she's like the premier horse is is a symbolic figure like the queen Yeah, yeah Yeah

[00:43:02] I assume it's not gonna be the one video that she sends out to 100 000 people It'll be like separate videos because you don't want that to come out where yeah Yeah, okay. Um like the queen. Um, okay Let me see. Oh, I do have a question um

[00:43:22] Uh, how do I how do I do this? Um in a if I mean because you're the rulers Um, I mean pretty much you have to rule every day like you don't get a holiday when you're sitting

[00:43:33] In the seat of power who would work if there's seven days a week Who do you reckon is working more days more hours not to say, you know It might quantity doesn't equal quality

[00:43:42] But I mean, I feel like your workaholism would lead you to work seven days a week Even if you were producing just the worst rulership result um Maybe yeah, I feel like i'm a four day work week kind of gal Uh three day of the people activities

[00:44:00] I I would love to have a heavily festival centric society So like we have like over half the year is dedicated to festivals And so four days four days raw work three days festival work

[00:44:12] I reckon then because king stephen I was the reason why I asked is because I reckon then if king stephen is The one who's just constantly in work mode. They're probably the one who who has to answer this question, which is unfortunately

[00:44:25] There's a scandal about to break out regarding one of you Um, your approval rating is 94 percent. It's gone down to 12. So it's quite a bad um, that's real We'd like I take we think it would be the best thing would be for you to go on and

[00:44:46] I mean, I imagine you're going to bring on king laura whicha as as a show of support and and she her popularity is actually 98 percent Um, so you need you need her beside you. Yeah to go on to news go on to the best newscaster on your country

[00:45:00] Anderson are you happy to do that? It depends on the nature of the scandal who was involved What the public sentiment is so what I would do first What happened? I just get some information on what exactly was going on. What's the public sentiment about this scandal?

[00:45:16] What's the international is it an international incident really hope it's not because if so it gets way more complicated So I would do my I would do some research

[00:45:23] Understand what the heck was going on with it and figure out who was actually the best person equipped to talk about it If it's my scandal, I may not be the best person to address it

[00:45:33] I probably want to do some kind of formal apology or something and i'll be like, oh, i'm so sorry whatever You know and then laura will come on and like back me up, you know, if it's the horse

[00:45:42] Then then we I think we let the horse apologize because Everyone loves a good horse apology. Um, so Yeah, i'd be happy I would be happy to go on camera and be the one to make a public apology if it involves none of us

[00:45:56] If it involves like I don't know maybe someone from our cabinet has been stealing chickens and making them fight in an arena And it's a big problem because they've been doing that. Is that what they've been doing? Uh

[00:46:09] Wait, am I is this is this on the record? Are we yeah? The reporters are outside your house as soon as you stepped outside They said what's going on and they've been listening to ever since so what's this about?

[00:46:19] Senators chicken fighting and fighting. Here's the thing whatever you may or may not have heard about these chickens You've just mentioned it Yes, exactly. Whatever you may or may not have heard about these chickens I have only recently become aware of it

[00:46:32] We're doing everything we can in our power to mitigate this chicken situation and our hearts go out to those Negatively impacted by the chicken situation. That is all i'm at liberty to say at this time

[00:46:43] We'll be holding a proper press conference over the next couple days and here's some coins chocolate coins Now perfect. Let's be off my my my royal exercise class so I can Take so I can give this matter the attention that it deserves at the gym. What? Yes, okay

[00:47:02] Now thanks for bringing up so I can center myself so I can then yeah Thanks for bringing up that um that other scandal. Um That you you just mentioned

[00:47:12] Um because of the nature of this stupid podcast you get to make up the scandal that you are directly involved in So you get to decide what's the scandal that people find out about? Um, so yeah, what would it be?

[00:47:23] Have you done king steven? I I don't know I'm worried that king nor does he even know about this scandal. This could be I know right the No, the lack of transparency even between the co-rulers Okay, but while you're thinking while you're thinking i'm just going to

[00:47:38] Since you went off your exercise class while you're thinking of that Um, there are going to be reporters saying king garra king garra. We have to we have to ask Um, how did you feel about but do you know about this? How do you feel about what's happened?

[00:47:49] I was unaware of the chicken scandal and I am we're not talking about that one. You'll get to that next week About about your co-ruler the egregious actions Of king steven vis-a-vis his relationship with premier horse lucky Have rocked our small island

[00:48:10] However, I know that the fortitude of our people will carry us through today and into the future How long have you known about this 12 minutes?

[00:48:20] And and do you do you plan to stop it or or make it legal or what action will be immediately taken in what form? indeed Okay. Thank you very much um Yeah, the full advices come up. They're like king Laura is very busy. Thank you for your time

[00:48:38] She'll answer further questions at the next session. And now the premier lucky there's yeah No, there was a lot of a lot of applause for king Laura as she goes what a wonderful ruler

[00:48:46] Look at that. They did she's not going to some stupid exercise class. She's facing down the issue Um, yeah, what what did you do king steven? So what so here's here here's what happened? Transportation right we've all been trying to find better ways to provide

[00:49:02] Transportation in an affordable way. We have a lot of horses in the country because the premier horse is very popular So yes, we just have a lot of people bringing in horses breeding horses. It's like Horses are our national animal, right?

[00:49:14] so what I said what if we take our national animal that we all know and love and we take the need for uh public well The need for more accessible transportation and we combine them into a single

[00:49:28] Transportation service where you can call a horse to come pick you up uber for horses essentially we call it Requestria, unfortunately, right? The scandal is that i've been calling it uber for horses for so long that uber in the us found out and they

[00:49:45] Have been coming to our island with guns and they have been attacking the horses and Actually the real horse the original one was shot Lucky and he's fine The people are like he's recovering we've got our royal horse doctors helping him out

[00:50:03] But because i'm the one that came up with this idea Uh, they're blaming me and not uber and it's mercenary It's black ops mercenaries that are coming over and like trying to take us out

[00:50:15] I don't know why they didn't just sue us but that's uber for you for some reason anyway So that's the scandal we're dealing with I didn't direct. It was my idea We're working on some sort of resolution

[00:50:27] Uh, we may just end up storming the uber headquarters with our black ops horses To take them out and that's how we're going to handle this We're going to meet force with force because that's what uber recognizes. They only recognize force

[00:50:41] So horse is a horse where that's what force is a horse And that way we can once we win then we will bring Request read into full swing and everyone will be able to summon a horse to get from point a to point b

[00:50:55] Within the glorious land of steve loria. That's how i'm resolving this. Thank you all for your time and patience So you're both going to go on to a The news nine o'clock prime time news as the reporter is saying thank you for sitting down

[00:51:10] countries obviously been put into an emergency state here as Seemingly a lot of mercenaries have jumped onto the island and shot 14 000 horses. Um, what is the plan? Are we invading uber first? We are, uh,

[00:51:23] Imprisoning all of the mercenaries. Yes, you've caught all of our on island production and they do work for uber Then yes, they work for uber and eventually a representative from uber will want to get them back

[00:51:35] Do you have anything to say about uber or what what what would you advise people who still think that we should take take ubers? uh the decadent capitalists Of uber are exploiting the kind generous and horse-loving people of our glorious republic

[00:51:53] rabble rabble rabble. Yes. Yes indeed. Um, but we will defeat them ideologically and on the ground Yes Are you surprised that they would do this? Are you surprised at the actions of of the company uber? Oh profoundly

[00:52:08] It's it is a truly confusing course of action to take when the law exists Yeah, I knew they had a black car option, but I didn't know they had black ops in general But yeah, that's a new functionality on the app. Oh man

[00:52:21] Can you just call like black ops via uber? You got black car option. You have black ops Summon an uber mercenary. Oh boy immediately the stock goes up like raytheon invests Right

[00:52:34] So, yeah, we're very surprised we didn't know this was an experimental functionality that was released to a very limited number of people But they used that that function to come and invade our glorious peaceful land and the people are pissed

[00:52:47] They're more pissed at uber, but they're they're pissed at me for uh letting it happen in our country So we're going to rectify it and I think as soon as we take a strong action against The black ops mercenaries of uber

[00:53:01] I think the people will come around they just want to make sure that they're protected and safe and their horses are not going To be hurt in the process. Yes, we're a peace loving nation, but at this moment we will do war

[00:53:12] Yes against uber not rebel rebel not america, but at our usa but no america's great Oh, no. No. Yeah, just just uber just uber. So your objective is your objective to kill uber? Uh, I would like to Usurp uber right That's my ultimate goal. Yeah, okay

[00:53:31] So we're gonna take over we're gonna usurp we're going to take over uber and then we're going to oh We will absorb them into uber for horses into requestrian into requestrian Yes, we usually call over four horses now if we want because we'll own them Yeah

[00:53:45] Uh, and then all of that uber technology will allow us to use that for horses in our native land because see the thing Is that we we may be a 10 million strong population, but we don't have a lot of roads for cars

[00:53:58] It's mostly a horse-based transportation system. So, uh, yeah like yeah the pace of life is slower, but it's nice People like it. Yeah Yeah And that's what we'll do uber will now be part of us and we will grow even more powerful and stronger every day

[00:54:13] Because of it. Yes. Yes. Yes Yes, yes, yes, yes uber just the final question is that uber have dismissed your threats as weak What would you say back to uber? Nay Anything you want to add popular king laura hey Well done fantastic so witty and charming um

[00:54:36] I on a totally different topic. I want to to mention that uber is a wonderful place It has well some of the most fantastic employees that aren't just employees They're also a family and that is in no way tied to my current employment. So moving on

[00:54:53] Don't you want to join our glorious nation under probably better labor? I um organization Yeah weekend kevin who was not working is all in on this but weekday kevin who will be working is against you um so fair enough the next one we welcome factualism perfect the

[00:55:16] You did that. Um, oh since since we're moving into war Um, there's a documentary going to be made about you. I'll ask the two videos what Fantastical fact would you like us to make up about you and the propaganda piece?

[00:55:29] We can say anything great about you. We can make it up. Oh, you want to take this one? I shall return Quite soon. Okay. What's that? All right, um, I am such a great golfer that I can only uh hit holes in one like it's impossible to

[00:55:45] Do you play golf? It's impossible. My my golfing acumen Is beyond my control Um beyond deviation and beyond belief Do do you do you play golf at all? I don't a fun game is well

[00:56:00] Maybe not golf pitch and put or easier to do this but a fun game is Um speed pitch and put where you don't try to do it with usually it's like the least amount of shots, right?

[00:56:10] But in this you just let's say two of you are playing together You both tee off from the first first hole and then after you tee off You just first person to get into the hole wins that hole so you just have to run

[00:56:21] Oh, I love that. It will tire you out. But yeah, that's that's fun game. Um Oh, that's a super great game. Like it should be time bound. It shouldn't be stroke bound. No, no, no, no That's that's what you do

[00:56:34] So you are perfect at golf and king steven is fantastic Yeah, annoyingly good at golf and then what would you like us to make up about you king steven? What I would like for the royal Journalists to make up about me is that I am the best

[00:56:52] Singer in all of the seven continents including antarctica And you have a thing for antarctica in what way are you the best singer like classically trained or yeah a little bit In every way It's like it's almost like a kim jong-un style

[00:57:08] Style like just like born the best singer in the world also classically trained by the best singers ever Yeah, makes the best music Just the the kind of singer that will bring you to tears whether you want to or not What

[00:57:25] So you can decide it's like a mutant power in x-men you can decide by singing whether someone cries or not That's the legend exactly. Yeah, exactly The most powerful voice in the world

[00:57:38] Yes, that's the way that's how you'll defeat uber. Yes. Yes through my very powerful voice. Hopefully they don't call me on it There's a very sad prophecy that in like a thousand years

[00:57:49] Um, you you'll die because of um king laura's perfect swing will hit a golf ball directly down your throat and Yeah, but you know Okay, we can do that though definitely uh golf swing and singing swing um

[00:58:08] okay, I have a would you like oh actually you can have a Do you work in the same office or in the same room when you're doing your your power duties? Hot cast yeah, and do you do it?

[00:58:20] Oh kingly duties. Yes. Yeah, that's the word power duties and don't kingly duties are you're in the same room same office I think it depends Um, I think we probably have separate King quarters. Yes for doing kingly things

[00:58:35] Uh, then we have a shared king quarter for when we need to talk about things Okay, so I see it as separate offices with computers and when we do our computer work, it's alone Yes, but then we have a meeting room where we take almost all uh

[00:58:50] Taking almost all issues of of ruling from our cabinet and bureaucratic representatives You could have like that room in the in southern north korea the the room they go into and there's like There's a table at one end. There's no Yeah, that's it. You do it like that

[00:59:06] I was thinking a conference room, but hey if we want to surround it with minds that just raises mistakes Yeah, um I was thinking a conference room But instead of like all of the hard desks and like instead of all the hard chairs because I think I know

[00:59:19] You would enjoy this uh, like a moroccan style furniture. Just a lot of loungy type pieces of furniture Um, so instead of like the hard debt the hard seats and everything is all upright Like people can be more relaxed

[00:59:34] They can they can lounge a bit while also talking through the issues of the country making them a little less tense I like that it adds to the festival atmosphere a sort of casualness. Yeah And and rich in color and softness

[00:59:48] I quite like it as well because when you have the pictures of the two of e basically deciding the military Strategy for war it's like taking a picture in the situation room, but all of e on like lounge chairs

[01:00:00] Like it's very they're having a good time while watching their mercenary horses go into the uber offices um There is a knock on the door Yeah, just yeah, i'm eating grapes. There is a knock on the door knock knock knock knock knock knock knock

[01:00:17] Hello. Hello. Oh, hi. It's uh paul your finance minister finance guy. I i'm checking the books Uh, how are you? Hello kings good good. I I hope you're well paul Well, did you like some grapes and cheese? I

[01:00:30] Yeah, no, it's a bit slow to say hello to me there king steven It's a bit too late now to that's why the popularity is a bit lower. Um Give me advice

[01:00:39] But I do have news reason why paul is here is I've good news for you. You have a lot of money in the country We are we are, you know, uh heavy surf surplus people are very happy

[01:00:51] I won't lie mostly with king laura, but they would like to build Something for both of you some monument something in your honor. Um, but they just want ideas What can we build you let's use up some of this money. We have 400 billion in the bank

[01:01:05] I feel like a royal garden that the public can come to Oh with the topiary in in our in their uh shape Oh, yeah topiary is in our shape and in and a lot of horses. Yeah Um a lot of a lot of evergreen

[01:01:20] Foliage because of how cold it is. Um, but yeah like a gigantic impressive like seventh world wonder guard royal garden That commemorates the royalty but also is open to the public every single day like this is and there's

[01:01:38] And there's a section of the garden that there's the royalty side rep, but there's also the uh We have a lot of farmland right and i'll see a lot of horses So i'm thinking there's a section that is also dedicated to the commoners to the farmers

[01:01:52] Whose backbreaking work is really why we're all able to live and survive So it's it's good to do both you got a dedication to the commoners and to royalty side by side

[01:02:03] Have their own area and you have your own area they stay over there with the farm and all that You stay with a nice topiary and Uh, actually, I think they would be I think they'd be blended. I think it'd be like a blended kind of

[01:02:15] Topiary. Yeah, I was listening to you and what I was hearing was thematically We have you know a section that honors the contributions of our great citizens and a section that honors The uh the ruling class But all of it is open to everyone. Yes

[01:02:30] So we'll spend more money on your side because thematically we want yours to look really nice and theirs Just slightly below a first world and then Yeah, or no No, I think we'd actually do the universe because here's the thing when you're playing the monarch

[01:02:46] Yes, you have the power but you need to you need to at least give the appearance Of power to the people who who work in your kingdom, right? Yeah, we would be nothing without the citizen

[01:02:58] So I think we would actually spend more money on the commoner side. It would actually look More noble than ours. It would be a little bigger than ours actually. Okay, so it's celebrating Uh the agricultural and and industrial contributions, right?

[01:03:12] So what if it is also an open garden where you can just like pick food And so it works like a subsidized grocery. Yeah That's quite clever. Yes Yeah, and I was going to mention

[01:03:24] I just was going to mention as well because you know, you obviously like horses and stuff and all that and you want to have Have all that but do you want us to make like big statues of two v like centaurs? Just putting it out there

[01:03:38] I I love that you've asked that I would like to retain my human form in deference to uh into to the contributions of our Our horse our equestrian brethren slash military

[01:03:53] Uh military stuff, uh, would you like to be a centaur make me a centaur statue what we can That will improve his popularity Yes Can be a big centaur statue and then beside it

[01:04:05] We'll do a really nice statue of king laura who like every hour on the hour just looks at the center and goes It's fine Just like yeah, i'm okay with that You know, yeah, yeah Maybe you've ridled i'm holding the bridle maybe yeah. Yeah

[01:04:21] Um, we will get right on that that is gonna be massive in the island A lot of tourism a lot of food being picked and grown and given away perfect Um, I do have another nice question for you. Um

[01:04:34] The movie I want to say the maybe lines gate the movie studio that was making all the hunger games Movies have come to you and asked you a favor. They are making a I want to say another prequel or I guess

[01:04:48] They're making another hunger games that is set In between the original movies. I don't know much about the hungry. I'm so might be messing with this. That's okay Yeah, um, great. They oh perfect. Thank you. You're doing great the

[01:05:01] Um, they are asking would you like to be in the movie? Um, that's gonna be a hard yes for me They think I yeah, I would be fun. I would like that now i'm gonna regret this but it is a musical If that seals the deal um

[01:05:20] Oh, yeah, definitely fantastic. Uh, yeah, like are you gonna play yourselves or are you gonna play characters? Just like a minor actually if we were introduced Well, if we were like the leaders of a foreign country that like widely expands the world of pan am true

[01:05:36] That's true, but no actually I want to be the leader of uh of district one. Oh district one. Nice. Yeah Yeah, it's in all right It sort of colludes with the capital and it's it's uh, the military one into our military tech so All right. All right

[01:05:52] So I think I don't want to be a character So you're going to be a character who's one of the leaders or whatever from district one And then are both of you gonna be like that or are you picking something else? I think I think

[01:06:05] So here's the thing we have We have these announcers from the capital, right? Yeah That are such characters there throughout the entire hunger game series studying teaching. I love them. However, yes Yeah, yeah, it was great. Yeah. Yeah, great every single hungry hunger games steven tucci's

[01:06:24] Or he's in most of them, but then they have it in like all of them Uh, but they have that announcer for the capital, but they don't have an announcer for the districts Of what's going on someone who is like a reporter right talks about

[01:06:38] I think it would be a lot of fun to play that reporter character who is Musically, maybe he'd like he's like a bard type. He he's musically inclined uh and

[01:06:50] Does these these tales of the hunger games and of the news in the capital in the districts whatever but from the district side? So he has an instrument he tells the tales very folksy very earthy very down-to-earthy. It's also part of my

[01:07:04] My uh political push to be to be associated with the earthy common folk in my own in my own Country, yes, and so I think that would be a very fun role to to play

[01:07:16] So we're both district at this point and you can prove that you are such a great singer Yes Yes, and there will be the best at karaoke and there will be no auto to an involved wink wink nudge nudge None whatsoever. We will not hire any actors to

[01:07:33] Have to be my voice At all we can That's probably because even the plot of this movie is is uh god i'll get i'll get this wrong Is that we're sending more people into the hunger games and we want to get um, uh king lora's character

[01:07:49] What's what's your character's name? Uh Edwina edwina. Yeah, uh edwina is going to be going to be um, uh hired I guess to go in to the hunger games as like a covert up of like don't worry

[01:08:01] You're winning the games but you're gonna have to like make sure one of them dies because they're important I don't know and we also want what's your character's name king steven? john common man John common man, that's right

[01:08:18] We need john oh wait this happened in hunger games didn't happen in the movies where they had a reporter They they were filming to make catniss look good Right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, john common man. We're sending you in with a cameraman

[01:08:32] Bill cameraman to make sure you know, you can document all the great work district one Edwina's doing right. Oh, is it my friend billy cameraman? I love that guy Yeah, yeah, mr. William cameraman. He's 77 years old bad back um

[01:08:48] So when we start the scene it'll be um, fucking hell It'll be um Oh, you'll have to get the moment where everyone in district one is going like who what's the phrase who?

[01:08:57] Volunteers as tribute and you'll have to shout to to say I volunteer as tribute and you'll have to make sure everyone hears it You know propaganda say make it look good, right? Have I made any sense in that scene?

[01:09:10] Am I am I actually kind of make sense? Um district one and two are known to like train career Career athletes to go into the hunger games and frequently win for that reason So, uh most of the time there are volunteers from districts one and two

[01:09:28] So yeah, they could be like I volunteer as tribute and you're like, oh i'm getting this is this is incredible stuff Yeah, okay. I see your common man John common man will be covering all of this but not from the capitalist perspective but from the district's perspective

[01:09:42] Because I represent the common man good that's good. That's good you stick to that story, but remember she has to win um Okay, I have no idea Um, yeah are they in the hunger games when Katniss volunteers? They're just out in the square are they?

[01:10:00] Yeah, yeah, they're in the town square. Okay, which is amazing. There's a big town square. It's looking lovely We might throw in some some horse hedges there as well just to get you happy and then They're probably in horse i don't know

[01:10:12] We'll say we'll say actioned whoever the leader is saying oh Look everyone there's new hunger games. Um, sorry we do things a bit less formal here in district one now

[01:10:22] This is the way I talk there's new hunger games. I know you've all been training. I know we all love it. Um John camera john common man make sure you get all this when when she does her big moment, but um

[01:10:35] We're only allowing one person in from district one this year I know there's a hundred of you there. So who wants to volunteer as tribute and you start hearing I do I do I do Now's your chance. Yeah, yeah big moment leader

[01:10:47] I volunteer as tribute even though i'm not a child and I have responsibilities in district one. That's such a weird That's such a weird clarification. Um What a brave and selfless thing for that leader from district one who I do not know in my personal life to do

[01:11:04] Wink wink nudge nudge. I am in a gf wedding rings and you're holding hands What how did this hand get in my hand what? Unhand me. I am a common man Unique, I oh my god. She's attacking john She is attacking

[01:11:25] Um, I think people start fighting. Oh no. Oh now it's just a brawl. Oh now it's just a brawl I'd say it was like the rise of district one There's one person with with my common man voice

[01:11:38] Do they all have bows and arrows in hunger games or what? No, they do not Uh Spear a big massive spear So you just land someone big massive spear like the edge of the spear is the most terrifying part But you need to get that distance

[01:11:54] Because that's that's where the leverage comes from So you're just lancing people are attacking you while she's killing people Yeah, what's your take on this john coming? The people of my district despite being the leader of my district actually actually this we will have to um ban

[01:12:10] the release of this film No in our glorious democratic republic Because it is it is putting me in a terrible way And I don't know that it's doing you any favors either It's a one shot scene

[01:12:26] Is the premier horse coming into this show and make everything better? Oh, maybe it's the hero now Yes, the premier horse can run in and you can both jump on the premier horse and get out of the riot You've just caused

[01:12:40] Excellent might work. Okay, we're gonna say cut on that because that's the only scene that's shown Yeah, that's the only we cut that whole part out just for your country. Um People waltz in the hunger games movie. They're like what what was that? That was a weird scene

[01:12:54] Anyway moving on to the actual movie We'll get that into a post-production. We'll let you know when when you can start banning it in your country I do if you're back in your office, I have a knock on the door again knock knock knock. Hello

[01:13:07] Come in. Oh, hello. Hello. Come on in again. Hi. Hello How wonderful to see you I say first god you're so wonderful the two of me um Hi, I know as are you all cheers. Thanks. Thanks kings. We appreciate

[01:13:25] Oh, that's brilliant. I appreciate you too. I do have um, I i'm actually going on holiday. Um, i'm going on holiday to antarctica To what did I call it? Mulborough station or whatever it was called. Um Going there for four weeks

[01:13:39] Uh just before I go I just thought I'd let you know the garden is built that costs a lot of money But it's all built. It's all fine. Um, I was just checking the numbers again

[01:13:48] Turns out we didn't have 400 billion. Um, there was actually a minus sign who knew a minus means negative So my we actually hit your 400 billion in debt that cost another 100 billion So yeah, we're five we're half a trillion in debt. The imf are on the phone

[01:14:04] They're they're kind of not happy that we've bankrupted ireland. Um, do you have any idea? I'll let you decide it i'm gonna go on holiday paid vacation for four weeks. I love it Can't wait. Bye everyone and paul walks out the door

[01:14:15] Can't wait for you to actually return What? so so paul We appreciate your contributions to our our society to our country Um, is this a raise but uh, this is

[01:14:28] We need to have a little chat. All right, so i'm gonna clean this going in a few minutes. Can you hurry it up? Well, we can figure that Paul I think we may need to postpone your vacation for like a week while we figure out some of this

[01:14:41] We can't do that. Do you know orielis? Yes, but we are now 500 billion in debt And you did mention Yeah that It was your oversight that caused this correct. I never mentioned that I said there was a minus sign But you mentioned you didn't notice it, right?

[01:14:58] I don't notice a lot of things. I didn't notice this passive aggressive tone that you've just put out Paul you made a mistake. Okay. Look you made a mistake You have to clean it up then you can go on vacation. All right, look that's i'm sorry

[01:15:11] That's the way it is we are now way more in debt at least get us a delegate from your team that can help us Get it sorted out. All right, and then we can deal with it when you get back. Okay

[01:15:21] Okay, I don't actually have a delegate but I can hire one i'll go out and hire one and then They can deal with it and i'll go and hold it king laura. Do you have any thoughts on this?

[01:15:30] so, um, there's actually a man we'd love to love for you to see uh, he Will take you immediately to the location of your plane so that you may leave It's not the prison compound. No, not at all

[01:15:44] It's definitely not that it is your paid vacation and we just want you to be safe reaching the airport So, uh, this is this is daniel my plane is at the airport. So i'll just go to the airport with him

[01:15:56] Yeah, daniel will be taking you to the airport. I'll take you there. You're our most trusted advisor You're so valuable so valuable to the administration. I cannot thank you enough. Yes. Thanks. And uh, how are you?

[01:16:07] Are you allergic to chocolate at all? Hey, I can't go near within 20 feet now My throat just closes up and I pass out for nine weeks. All right, good good

[01:16:15] It's good that you won't be in contact with chocolate then anyway daniel if you could take paul to his uh, Ultimate destination that would be fantastic. Thank you so so much

[01:16:24] Oh, um, sorry just just I just want to make sure does daniel know where my house is because I have to pick Up my nine. Um my arctopilates, you know the ones like the six months Yeah, fantastic fantastic Uh, he will go with you to your house

[01:16:39] And take you ultimately to the the airport me and my arctopilates will be going with daniel Absolutely. Daniel has been totally informed about you. He knows all the information he needs to about what's going on in your travel

[01:16:52] We keep very well informed about our most trusted advisors and he's so gifted with children So well, I mean i'll be looking after kids but he he's good with kids. So we'd all be together Nice. Yeah. Yeah, you'll probably have a fun car game and uh

[01:17:07] And steven I would love to talk to you about foreign investment. Yeah, okay I'm off. Okay. I'm off with my kids and daniel. I hope he's single. I'm looking for a new father

[01:17:18] We look forward to seeing you in an amount of time it's been lovely working with you paul Hey, we're gonna be working together again soon. I'll take plenty of pictures of where I am with all the kids. Bye Wonderful. Bye can't wait

[01:17:30] Close the door now that i'm back in room. Have you just like condemned paul and his eight his arctopilates to prison forever? Not forever just for a period of time

[01:17:41] Like a tablet period of time tablets are banned and will never be seen again in the island. Are you saying no? We'll be seen Probably we'll pull them out every now and then we'll flick coins at him. What about the kids? Oh, no, the kids are fine

[01:17:55] The kids will be taken care of but we'll have we'll have welfare sorted out for them in a mafia way They're gonna be huh? No, not in a mafia way. Okay. In a prison labor kind of way

[01:18:07] Their small hands are exceptionally good for like folding over the gold foil on the chocolate So, uh, that's that's they're also very good for um fixing fixing tablets

[01:18:17] And they can open them and get into the little clean in the um charger section. Anyway, let's figure out how we We get this money that that you've bankrupted the country with all right So we thought we had 400 billion in surplus, right?

[01:18:31] It turns out we actually had negative 400 billion in debt and now we have 500 billion in debt, right? Yes. Yes So so i'm thinking i'm thinking euro the european union i'm thinking i'm thinking uh nafta i'm thinking Uh, we talked to the americans about accessing our cobalt mines

[01:18:56] I I think we can work this out. Let's let's make some calls Yeah, I think we should set up an american embassy in our in our country in our island

[01:19:05] And allow them to come see how fun the horses are and maybe we start talking Americans famously love horses They do maybe we start maybe we open a western themed theme park with a ton of horses that do cool stuff

[01:19:18] The request ring app can somehow be involved because I will want it to be yeah Yeah, i'm sure there's a level of respect since we already own one of their larger companies. Absolutely, you know We military force we own uber through, you know legal means of course

[01:19:32] Uh, but yeah, we would invite them and then I think we could establish an entertainment center On our island an entertainment and tourist hub For for people to come visit see the horses see the see the theme parks come get drunk

[01:19:46] Yeah offer ourselves as a stopgap solution for russia's incursion into the arctic ocean. Yes. Yes. Yeah Care about the side. I think we've got stuff to work with. Oh, we can even have like no no Go ahead. No

[01:20:00] What even could you have so we could even have a a cavalry like an og cavalry base like a military training camp uh where they could train on horses on how to How to ride into battle on horses? It's very antiquated but the enemy would never expect it

[01:20:17] So it's like their secret plan and we'll help them get that set up on our island. Yeah, okay Yeah, it's all it's a horse-based economy. Yeah. Yeah, but we'll we'll get stetsons. We'll start selling stetsons Yeah as a sort of cultural nod so do you reckon how how

[01:20:32] How much do you reckon you're going to make in the first year back if you're 500 billion in debt? Not clear not in one year. You'll make a good chunk, right? We will I think we could get

[01:20:44] Some billions from the mineral wealth that we're offering access to I mean they need They need a computer chips and we have some of the ores required And we haven't even accessed that natural resource because we've been so focused on the equestrian economy

[01:21:00] You'll probably get about 100 billion back shortly or more 200 billion. Yeah Yeah, and uh just just by virtue of being friendly with the americans. We'll probably get foreign aid

[01:21:11] We can definitely pay the interest on our loans. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I think we should we should definitely court them for a loan um Yes x amount of dollars and unfortunately because of that 500 billion in debt will probably accrue what 50 billion in um Uh in interest charges

[01:21:31] So we'll only have accrued maybe 500 maybe maybe 50 billion of the 100 billion We expected to get back but the year after that I think we can get a couple 100 billion which will get us on the right path and get us out of debt

[01:21:44] And then everyone will love us the americans whatever I can sing. It'll be great Yeah, we're already part of one of their most beloved franchises. That's right. Yeah

[01:21:55] I do have a final question for you. But before that would you like some games? I think you're going to cheer. Yes Okay, um I mean two years into it you're saying you're practically in the you wiped out that 500 billion debt. You you had right pretty much. Um

[01:22:13] Good news. It was an equal sign. Oh Poor paul he's been working so hard He just a bit blurry. It was it wasn't a minus sign big silly No wonder why he needed that holiday. It was an equal sign. It was equals 400 billion

[01:22:28] Paul good well at least paul has been out of out of uh prison for the last 18 months Yes, but he's been in prison for two years, right? No, it's it's just like a three month experience like a tablet

[01:22:42] An illegal tablet ownership amount of time. Yeah, I think you say just you know Substantial amount of time he was going going for it. You made it sound like oh, I thought I said tablet Oh, maybe Three months in prison it just drags

[01:22:57] And the three months for slave labor for the children the babies. Yeah. Yeah, they learned some great professional skills They're six months old. Yeah um So yeah, no he turned out he was actually making he had worked so hard

[01:23:10] He had made you 500 billion and he just needed a break and he just looked through and oh I think this might be a minus sign and yeah Well done. So here's what we'll do

[01:23:21] We'll uh, we'll we'll bring paul back on as the minister of finance. He looks gaunt He looks he has not eaten in in months Um, we will we will get him fed. We'll get him fed. We'll get him fat and happy and

[01:23:34] Maybe the lottery just happens to fall on paul this year for The one who gets to be the king for a day and he gets to to be fat and happy and hang out And be waited on yeah, and he gets nine moroccan pillows

[01:23:48] Free and clear for himself and he's off public. He gets no actual power once he sits on the seat Oh, well, well, no, but like he yeah, no, it's a symbolic offering to him He gets so many snacks though

[01:24:01] Like great snacks the best snacks that the glorious republic can offer Yeah, we don't issue a formal apology because that's not what we do but we do issue We celebrate his success professionally

[01:24:15] Without having discussed his failures previously exactly and and we bring on an assistant minister of finance That can uh, because we we realize paul is actually dyslexic That's why he didn't realize like what was going on with the minus

[01:24:29] He he mixed it up, but like he's very good with numbers So we just have someone in to like hope like check his work You know So he doesn't have so he doesn't run into any trouble in the future

[01:24:39] And as you said it was a mistake I mean mistakes happen, right? You know, it's not his fault. Yeah Who's his who's his assistant there? Is that daniel or what was his name? Who? Just watching them just always just over his shoulder falling out Oh, they broke up

[01:24:59] Yeah tragic tragic a lack of trust. I can't imagine why Oh, yeah, no Um, is the premier his assistant? No, the premier has too many, uh formal Formal responsibilities, but the premier's son Lucky two. Oh Yes

[01:25:19] Lucky two's lucky to the premier's son is going to be his horse Advisor minister of finance. Yeah an assistant minister of finance you can trust. Yep And on a happier note

[01:25:30] The kids will not make a sound under any circumstances and paul will not sleep. So the next last question is um that At certain point you will I assume decide that you know, you've you've been in power for long enough

[01:25:46] You have to think about um, the next person next the next heir or heirs if you want to still so i'd ask you both to Do you do you would would excuse me would you want one person to take charge after you or two people again?

[01:26:02] Well, we have been slowly but surely Adopting all of the children in the nation who are not housed with families So we select the two smartest of our foster children To succeed us. Ooh, how do we determine the smartest ones you ask?

[01:26:22] Through a contest where we pit children against each other where they fight to determine who is victorious. It's not the hunger games It's the gauntlet of succession. It's the succession Gauntlet games victory games and it's televised. Yeah, victory games victory games

[01:26:42] Ah, it's always gonna be physical 100 for babies. Um So you're just gonna pick the two of them Yeah, yeah, they'll be doing math equations against each other they'll be they'll be trying to figure out political issues against each other

[01:26:53] There won't be weapons involved in any way shape or form No violence will be done against these children or by these children But the pen is mightier than the sword and we will choose the mightiest. Yes So they can use they can use pens as weapons

[01:27:11] Uh, they can use pens to fill in answers on the tests they have been given. Yes Fair enough And also maybe to make a Design on their hands and violence will not be encouraged but initiative will be rewarded

[01:27:24] I read you loud and clear wink wink is what the kids say The Okay, that's very good. Would you stay on the island by the way after the seed power or would you go? Leave I think so that that garden is legit. Oh, yeah

[01:27:38] Hang out hang out with the winter palace now. Yeah, I mean i'm sure I think it'll be higher. I'm sure king laura is remaining very popular king steven kind of goes up and down to see even to be honest sometimes

[01:27:50] depends his popularity your popularity goes up and down with the stock of Requestrian so You have to answer the stockholders at this point um Okay, uh, yeah if you're staying on the island, that's not too bad

[01:28:06] I am will say that's the end of king steven and king laura of the can I remember the democratic republic? No, the glorious democratic republic of stelloria still stellora. Yes. Oh excellent memory. Thank you Yeah, that was it. You're done. That's the

[01:28:22] You're back in in in america now. You have no power. Would you do a press conference? You know at this point, I think i'm good on press conferences. I had enough in my time in stelleria

[01:28:30] I'm just gonna go this time. I'm gonna pull a laura. Oh, i'm just gonna show up at my next family gathering no No communication beforehand Just show up just like go to ohio and be like hi guys. How you doing? What's up? Yeah

[01:28:45] Yeah, so what are you even up to? where Uh, first of all, thank you very much for doing this podcast Do you have where can people find you online? Uh, you can find us on midday musings pod on instagram or steven does stuff on

[01:29:04] Instagram or threads i'm on there all the time hocking the podcast talking about random stuff podcast stuff Just having a good time And I am available at lady of peace zero zero on instagram And find us at midday musings on your favorite podcast platforms

[01:29:22] Yeah, yeah, we release four times a week and we'd love to have you Um, yes, thank you everyone for listening and I am I'm still struggling with an outro. Um, do you have any What words of advice would you give to people as you leave power?

[01:29:38] What would be your i'll leave it to board of me to say something. This is my outro as well There's always money in the horse stand And in the sky That's quite optimistic actually Money is power but it is also pain god

[01:29:56] Yeah, there we go you say that you say that with a smile that makes it so much meaner, um Okay, yeah, no, that's it it's done the podcast over music will happen now