Tyrant In Training Episode 45 Renee Percy, The Almighty and Hilarious Renee of Relarious Island

[00:00:07] Hello there, this is the Tyrant In Training Podcast and I am Kevin. I'm the host. This is Celine Hello, you pointed at Mike Celine has commented more than once that her voice has been a little bit low. She naturally speaks a little lower Excuse me, yes

[00:00:24] A little lower? I said lower not slower Yeah, I think you said lower Now one of the issues on you, you keep looking at me. You need to stop that those loving eyes Can go 10 seconds without Looking at this. I don't blame you. No that wouldn't work either

[00:00:39] What? I was gonna say angle the mic, but then it would be angled away from you. We have had that mic in your mouth At points and you're like It's difficult to talk to you without looking. It isn't weird. It isn't we text

[00:00:54] Anyway, can you explain what this podcast is about? You interview guests and ask them what they would be like what they would do if they were running their own country What would they you know be like would they be bad people or good people or

[00:01:08] Mediocre people. I say you've done about what? 15 intros now and you still sound like you're answering a test Yes, that's what we do all the guests come on and they show why they should never be put into leadership positions

[00:01:27] Yes, today's guest is a very funny comedian from LA who is from Canada. Oh, very good Yeah, and they live in LA interesting. What was Canada very good in LA was interesting I can't say very good twice. It's bad grammar. Yeah. Yeah

[00:01:43] Renee Percy is her name. Very good. She's very funny find her on Instagram. Rene Rene Rene Rene Perse Renee Percy comedian is on Instagram and her website is there Rene Percy calm. Yes. She was over in Australia Not too long ago. Yeah Yeah

[00:02:05] So I'm gonna hit you with some out of context quotes do it now do you want a little game? Okay at the end of I'll ask you what movie was she talking about? Okay The girliest answer ever but I stand by it

[00:02:20] The Irish people needed me. I like big butts and I cannot lie. It's got comedy. It's got romance. It's got Drama, it's got pirates It's got everything it's everything in one movie and it's hilarious. Oh No, somebody does even die, but then we find out they're only um

[00:02:41] mostly dead You want me to shoot you? Now what you think princess bright? She threatened me with a gun Are you talking about? Yeah, you're correct princess bright. Yeah exactly, but she at the last quarter

[00:02:55] She said you want me to shoot you and your first thought was I better answer that quiz. I Can understand how she felt I don't know this woman

[00:03:04] Certain she insulted the Irish. She said I wasn't funny. I kind of regret asking her to do a promo for this She has not got back to me Yes, you're right princess bride

[00:03:17] Because mostly dead. Oh, it's death to give away. Well to be honest, I was I was You know, I thought there yeah Was gonna say Paris Caribbean first because she mentioned pirates and that would be the natural

[00:03:29] Conclusion but then I was like, you know what? No, that's too obvious I'm gonna do this This second pirate movie that comes to mind is princess bride and then she said the mostly dead and I was like Oh, yeah

[00:03:40] So you went parts Caribbean or Princess bride. Yeah. Yeah Well done you get a gold star. Yay, be funny if it was Captain Phillips. There's romance. There's There's comedy I wish she said that now. Okay, you can find this podcast on its website

[00:03:56] which is tyrant and training dot podcast page and Also, you can find it on the social medias You can find it on Twitter and blue sky and threads and Facebook and Instagram just by searching for me

[00:04:08] Which is at Kev Ryan person. Do you want to give out your email address? No People don't follow sleep don't they can people can absolutely if they want to but I don't do anything on any of the social medias

[00:04:22] Here's a little game. They can follow me. Yes. I'm gonna follow a load of Salinas See which which one? Will get a Fucking shit. We will send pop figure. Yeah, we're not keeping We will send something Okay, I don't know why I found that

[00:04:49] And you can find this on YouTube at tyrant podcast and that's it. We're done Rene Percival don't speak. That's not you. That's not a signal for you. It's lean line. Bye So Rene I do have to ask you since you're doing the podcast

[00:05:11] Do you have any tendency do you think to lead people a tendency to lead people? Um, I Would say yes Say I do I mean the fact that I'm a stand-up comedian and I stand up in front of hundreds of people every night and I

[00:05:30] I'm like, hey everybody be quiet and listen to me now Is that how you start to show room full of hundreds of people be quiet and just Know but that's basically what stand-up is it's like just listen to me talk for an hour now and everyone be quiet

[00:05:45] You think you'd give you you'd be good at the speeches part. I'd be great at the speeches. Yeah um so if we're gonna what we'll do is we'll set up a country a

[00:05:56] Country for you. Okay, and what we'll do is and we're not going to take over a country for you We're gonna set up a new island. So how good at you a geography Do you need me to bring you up a world map?

[00:06:06] Pretty good. I think what I can do is I will show you a map of the world and you can tell me where We should put your new country Seamless share

[00:06:18] Basically, it's kind of saying do you want a hot country or a cold country? What sort of temperature do you want? Yeah No, I want to hug. I want a moderately

[00:06:26] Temperature come I want a moderate temperature company a country. I want um, I already I think I already know where would be a good place Would you go far from where you live from LA? Yeah, I don't care. Yeah Um, I think we're has some of the best

[00:06:41] Weather is like off just south of Greece I was thinking Mediterranean that just seems the kind of best place to go to miss car like warm but not Not so like it's supposed to be like nice all the time there. Yeah, we're getting a little close to

[00:07:00] There but you know, I think would be alright would you go west of Greece near Italy or the other side near like Turkey? Yeah, somewhere between Greece and Italy. Yeah I mean

[00:07:11] We will throw somewhere we'll throw an island there and we're gonna say about 10 million people will be there just as a is that okay? Do you mind? I know that's great. I'm gonna make everyone follow me on Instagram

[00:07:22] So now I said you have a big account and that's the good thing just to keep in mind that if you're going to be The ruler and tyrant of this country everyone who's there has come there willingly

[00:07:31] So they're all on board with Renee Percy being in charge, right? So you don't have to worry about people not liking your entrance like that do you want to name your island I want to name it

[00:07:43] Yeah, well otherwise it would just be unnamed island it would just be yeah, I should name it I'm good. I'm gonna yes. I want to name it. I have to think of a good name though

[00:07:55] Or a bad name. That's fine, too. It's my island. I can do exactly you can name it a bad name and tell them That's right. I'm gonna name it I have to name it right now. I'm gonna name it

[00:08:09] Relarious island. It's Renee's hilarious island and we're but it'll just be called Relaire like Relarious, it's Renee's hilarious island, but it's hilarious. It sounds like a venereal disease, but it's gonna be it'll be funny

[00:08:22] Yeah, we'll explain to the people as they land. No, it's not it's it's fine It can even be a thing. So Is it a new like Slang on Relarious Island that instead of saying oh, that's that's really funny or that's hilarious. You're like, that's that's relarious

[00:08:39] Yeah, you make it a that's relarious. Yeah. Yeah, like your Thing it's like your own brand of comedy. Do you know? That's right. All the cool kids will say it Yeah, and I don't imagine yeah. Yeah. Okay, Relarious Island speaking of given names, though

[00:08:54] What would your official title be? The almighty and hilarious Renee I write this down so I don't forget it the almighty and hilarious Renee but if people are just calling you Renee, is that okay? Are we punishing those citizens?

[00:09:13] No, we're gonna get them kicked. Yeah, it's gonna be like a comedy club and I'll get a bouncer and they'll be kicked out Of the island. It's as if they heckled So they're getting kicked out of the island

[00:09:23] Think so they might be able to come back but no they have to call me the almighty and hilarious Renee Okay, so we have bouncers lined up across the island ready to throw people into the river. There are bouncer Bouncers proper bouncers. Yeah, okay, we can do that

[00:09:39] Yeah Do you want are people allowed to vote for any sort of Senate or are they? You just make all the decisions you you decide who's in kind of charge of the everyday admin workings of the government No, I'll let people I'll have a vote

[00:09:55] Yeah, no, I want people to feel empowered and that they've got some say in things I mean not over me. I can do what I want but everybody You have total power yourself

[00:10:06] But you're gonna let them vote for people to deal with every day stood the boring side of government Exactly, or if there's a decision I can't make I'll put it to about you know, what would people rather?

[00:10:18] What they want me to wear the red dress or the green dress, you know Yeah, little things like that but what if they vote for like Sarah Palin Oh, they won't they won't be allowed to do

[00:10:31] They wouldn't be allowed on the island for but you wouldn't be allowed on the island to begin a Content creator who got big by impersonating Sarah Palin to the point where she actually became Sarah It depends if it's a funny impersonation. They can be there

[00:10:51] Yeah, well they can cancel them, you know, it's a democracy they'll just get canceled What does cancel mean in this situation like we erase her from her? No, we are going to Um, we we're gonna shadow ban her Instagram account. That's like the worst thing

[00:11:11] Oh, that's the worst thing that can happen But she's still allowed to be voted into the Senate where she gets to the she's an if she's an influencer Yeah, she's got she's been banned on Instagram

[00:11:21] On all social media, but people can still vote for they can but I think they're gonna cancel her like they're not gonna vote for her Okay, or else not my not my hilarious people. Yeah, they wouldn't do this thing. Okay. Okay. Okay

[00:11:34] We'll relate time to time. So you're allowing voting, but just make sure you vote for the correct person. Yeah What type of house do you want to live in? I I want to live in I Don't even care if it's a palace I don't need a palace

[00:11:51] I just need like a like a mansion just a regular mansion with a water slide I would like a water slide an indoor one or one that goes outdoor to the ones that go out there and then back in

[00:12:01] Yeah, it could go through the house and then it lands in a pool I just want to go from my bedroom to a slide into the pool So you want okay, so you want to you want some like Wallace and Grammett? Did you ever watch that? Oh

[00:12:15] Yeah, the bed the bed Tilt up and you just go flying. Oh Well, that's fine. I hadn't even thought about the bed tilting thing. I'm okay to even walk to the water slide

[00:12:24] I'm not a princess. I can walk to the water slide. Yes to open a door for my bedroom and hop on the water slide and straight into Yeah, so I didn't straight in or I could tilt it could either go in the pool

[00:12:38] You could like press a button it goes into the pool or it just goes to the front door That's just a fun way to exit. Yeah. Yeah and bit of exercise as well in the morning yeah, and maybe like a and there could also be a

[00:12:51] Like a fireman's pole in the middle. I could like slide down that way too into the pool No, no just down just downstairs. Oh just downstairs. Yeah. Yeah It's like there's no stairs in the house. It's just poles and slides

[00:13:04] Could be I mean if I could be wearing heels one day or so, I don't know they'll be stairs Yeah Are you planning on going into an office to like work or you having people at the house meetings? Oh wait out from this island. Hold on

[00:13:17] I mean people come to see the hilarious the almighty and hilarious Renee yeah, no, I'm gonna have shows nightly every night. I'll take Monday nights off but no, no there's probably a stage or like a bandstand in the back or you know, like a like a

[00:13:35] Like a Hollywood Bowl type but a smaller one in the back the back of the house back in a mansion. Yeah Yeah, it's awesome. I have some English. Okay. Yeah. Yeah

[00:13:47] Okay, so do you we'll get into as we're setting up the country and all that I have to ask Um, is there anything banned in the country that usually isn't banned in other countries? Anything banned in the country anything you want to do right now? No, I haven't

[00:14:02] Um Pends how political we want to get um You can't laugh you can't pause and then laugh menacingly Okay, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do an I'm gonna do a backwards ban People I'm gonna ban people that want to ban abortion

[00:14:26] Or that the people that won't yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna double-check Yeah, I'm gonna double ban that doesn't okay. Let out right? No, basically you're you're banning the Ideology, I guess I guess it's not yeah

[00:14:42] I'm banning anyone that doesn't believe in women's rights. Yeah. Yeah, I think that just as a catch-all right that that catches a lot of Women should be paid less if they don't have autonomy over their own body

[00:14:54] If they can't be a religious leader any of those things your your your band Um, are you actually I have no I have no qualms with that Okay, um is there anything is there any unusual list that Relarious Island is top of so I mean I assume it's

[00:15:21] The funniest Kevin's funniest island in the world I got I got very I got very excited. I thought you said funniest Kevin's I was like, oh my god. Yes Yeah

[00:15:34] Funniest island in the world. I wonder any idea what would be counted as the funniest country in the world? Oh shoot. No, what's currently the funniest country? Yeah, I don't know Okay Google when you type in funniest country in the world it comes up

[00:15:49] Yeah, but it just says country slash funny Chad now Uru Turkmenistan Greenland Purkinia and I was like, oh, okay That's Chad. I would not have thought no. No. No, this is Honestly, I'm taking this from reddit. So take it as what it is

[00:16:05] I'll give you top five countries. So it goes down 25 number five is Greece. It's next door neighbor to Make sense. We're in the right area. Okay number four Spain And Yeah, number three Where no number three is the UK. Okay dry very dry Number two France

[00:16:31] Number one what you think number one is Canada No, the USA. Where do you think Canada's? I don't know 10 17 Right, I'm sorry Ireland isn't anywhere here. This is a jerk of a map Ireland and make the list

[00:16:50] No, and i'm sorry. No, you're not. Sorry. I'm gonna have a go at a country here, but uh like where who's uh Portugal Portugal is ace Portugal, right? This is bullshit. Sorry, but anyway, we're moving everyone down one because we're Larry Larry's island is number one

[00:17:11] Hard enough. You would say fair enough. It's gonna be number one for sure. Um I have a bad question to ask. It's not the easiest question to ask a leader of a country

[00:17:20] But a scandal is going to be found out about you the people are going to find out about a scandal Involving you okay, you get to pick what the scandal is just keep in mind You your approval rate at the minute is 100%

[00:17:34] Not a person says a bad thing about you after this scandal your approval rating goes down to 96% So it's a bit of a oh, it's tough. Um pretty good How do we get 96?

[00:17:45] Well, I just don't I just don't want you going. Oh, I murder several babies and going. Oh Jesus No, no keeping nice out of it. So we're pretending the hilarious island. It's nothing funny about that We are pretending that humor is really in this year

[00:17:58] No, but uh, we we are um, okay. Yeah. Oh my god. What's the scandal? Yeah, so you get to pick what it is The scandal is um, I I did comedy off the island somewhere else I went somewhere else and did comedy fuck. Um, your

[00:18:16] Advisors are going to suggest to you that you sit down kind of like frostworks versus nixon So you're gonna sit down in front of a journalist and they're gonna ask you about this scandal and comedy gate Um, I should have said comedy out the gate that work

[00:18:33] Hey, i'll take that um Yeah, okay Um, would you agree to sit down with a journalist and answer their questions about this scandal? Oh, yeah. Yeah Um, i'm gonna pretend now to be the journalist. Okay. All right so

[00:18:48] Um the almighty and hilarious rené is that what we're calling you? That is me. That is yes Hi, I know that um, I am anderson. Hello. Welcome back everyone to the show. I'm speaking to the leader of hilarious island

[00:19:01] Uh the almighty and hilarious rené. Thank you for joining. Thanks for having me more than welcome Um, I do ask about comedy out the gate. Yes People want to know why I understand, uh that my people are a little perturbed

[00:19:16] Shall we say yes that I did leave the island to go do comedy in my defense I will say that there are other countries That needed me as well Um, how many countries did you go to? Oh Um, where did I go to?

[00:19:34] I will say I will go to any country that needs me And I think it is important to spread laughter to the rest of the world places that think they're funny like portugal or um anywhere else the portuguese don't deserve Our humor They need it

[00:19:55] Uh, you know where really needs it ireland needed it because they're they didn't even make the list and uh You fucking know it that list was faulty. I can tell you right now

[00:20:05] No, I feel like I feel like that's why I had to go. I mean, I the irish people needed me It was it was a human humanitarian aid You went to ireland and portugal yes, but by the way stop

[00:20:20] Stop downing the irish. I need you to do a promo on this podcast saying how funny it is You can't say it for all shit Okay now it is but what do sorry sorry understand speaking but what do we get in return? Uh, dear almighty and hilarious rene

[00:20:38] What do we get in return? We get What do the people get the people get? Um The country gets recognized for um, the hilarious island that it is it gets um um uh

[00:20:54] We're already number one the rest of the world for what that's true. We're already number one we get praise for Um aiding other countries like we look great for doing that. No, I thought we already got that

[00:21:07] For aiding other countries. No, we have this thing other we're lending Oh, so this is just humanitarian text. Yeah, but some people say that you're doing more comedy gigs abroad than you are at home I wouldn't say more I said i'm spreading the laughter

[00:21:26] Did you um around do you plan on doing and so many plan on what do you plan on doing so many? Gigs outside of relirious island. I will always make relirious number one

[00:21:38] You can guarantee that it'll always be number one relirious will always be number one, but you're not stopping But there are other countries that need us and I think that's okay So you're um, yeah, you're gonna pick off again soon right for another another to another country

[00:21:57] We're not calling it fucking off as our um official that's not the official name of it. Yeah Uh That is more what we're gonna we're gonna get on the official document but yes, um, let me fuck off now and then But i'm always here

[00:22:15] And uh, and it helps the people of relirious bring up there Then it gives room for people of hilarious relirious to be their own funny selves Well, oh so you're gonna have people on your stage while you're gone. Yeah, the bowl's open

[00:22:28] Everybody has to be funny to be there You either have to be funny to be on the island or you have to have a great laugh You have to be one of those things. Yes. Yes, there's

[00:22:37] That's quite exciting. All right. Yeah, we'll we'll end interview. We'll go to break for that But yeah, that's that's that's yeah people I think people are excited that they get to go on stage on your stage

[00:22:45] Of course, you're gonna get to go on everybody gets to go they have to i'll be honest I'll be honest one of one of the main routines is uh people coming up on stage and Doing a mock impression of you on holiday in different countries

[00:23:03] If it's funny it can stay if it's not funny It was funny the first few times but honestly once you've seen 14 Interpretations of renee percy in portugal This is bullshit I'm calling in the bouncers the bouncers. Oh, right. So the bouncers are it's martial law while you're gone

[00:23:25] Wow 14 in a row of the same joke, come on people Would you yeah, I think there's gonna be bouncers There is a knock on your door before you before you go on holiday there's a knock on your door Uh knock knock holiday Sorry, sorry working working. Uh

[00:23:48] Knock knock knock Yes Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. I'm almighty and hilarious renee. It's uh paul. I'm the finance person I'm doing all the finance for you. How are you? Hi, um, I just have something to tell you

[00:24:01] I'm checking the finance the budget here on the relirious island and we have a lot of money we have Uh a surplus of 30 billion. So so just the people are wondering Can they build you any sort of monument that they can celebrate you they just like to

[00:24:18] Yeah, um That's lovely traditionally monuments usually get torn down in a few hundred years, but um, I Would be Yes, I would love a monument of anything you want anything we can build you it doesn't have to be a statue

[00:24:34] But anything you would fancy to be named in your honor a new stage. Let's do another stage A big window, right? Yeah, sure. There's 10 million people. Let's do it where everyone can come

[00:24:45] I take so so 10 million people. So I think the biggest stadium is like 130,000 or something in the world So we're gonna build it more we're aiming for 200,000 actually. It's probably more than that. Jesus

[00:24:57] Yeah, I know. Can we do 10 million? Can we do a 10 million seater soft seat theater? There might be a few standing areas To be honest That all right with you Yeah, I guess so some people have to stay in I mean god those should

[00:25:12] Those tickets those seats at the back are going to be long far away But yeah, we're building a 10 million seater stadium. No problem We might have to put it off off land build a bridge over to it just to room but we'll get it done

[00:25:23] That's okay. That would be nice actually. Yeah, the almighty There you go exactly exactly. Yeah, no, no, we'll get right to work on that I have a question for you. Um renee just wondering I forgot to ask you do you have any um

[00:25:35] Do you have any favorite film film franchise favorite film? Well, it's not a franchise. There's only one of them. Unfortunately Which my favorite film? Yeah The girliest answer ever but I stand by it and I think it's required watching for everybody on on relarias is the princess bride

[00:25:54] Um because it's every is this the one are you looking up the princess bride? You don't know the princess bride. I never watched it. Okay I never watched it. You're off. I know I know I know you're off the island required watching to be on the island

[00:26:07] In in ego man. Tire. Yes Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, um, yeah see I know the whole plot um Yeah, I have to create So it's a bedridden boy's grandfather reads him the story of a farmboy turned pirate who encounters numerous obstacles enemies and allies

[00:26:32] In his quest to be something it's got comedy. It's got romance. It's got Drama it's got pirates. It's got everything. It's everything in one movie and it's hilarious

[00:26:45] Anyway, yeah, no I I was thinking of something else but um god would you want them to do a sequel now? I can't would you trust I don't know. It's such a perfect movie. I don't think they should change a thing

[00:26:54] I I even have like oh no, I don't have it handy. I have the bulk of it. Anyway, it's it's a perfect film So the reason why I asked is because there is an email that came into your email

[00:27:05] And it's saying that the studio who made it which I have no idea and I i'm just not even looking up Um, oh 20th century box. I guess studios they are planning on making a sequel um, yeah, all the princesses room, um

[00:27:22] Terrible name but we'll all work on it with them. Yeah Oh if you insist yeah, and they're wondering would you play a cameo partner either as a character or as yourself? Uh, not a cameo. I want to play a lead in it. Yeah. Oh, yeah

[00:27:34] Yeah, we can do that because we just really want to film on Rilarious Island. We think this could be really funny Oh, fuck. Yeah. I don't know. We're gonna redo it. I'll play the robin wright character. It'll be great

[00:27:44] Oh, we're redoing the play. Oh, so we're just remaking it screw the no, you're right. You're right. You're right No, we should just remake it. It was already perfect Yeah, no, i'm in i'm 100 in it's not a cameo. It is a significant part

[00:27:58] It's a lead but we are we are we're not remaking it. We're doing a sequel. Is that it? I think so Yeah, because it's already perfect as it don't make it don't touch it. So question does buttercup live in the end spoiler for anyone but

[00:28:12] Does she live in the end? Yes. I said it's a comedy. It's a romance. She's not gonna die I quicked when buttercup threatens to fatally stab herself is the only sentence I got to read So, I don't know Yeah, okay

[00:28:28] So she oh no somebody does even die but then we find out they're only um Mostly dead and then miracle max brings him back because you can be dead and then just He's just mostly dead. Oh, okay fixes him. Yeah, that's fine. Um, so you're gonna play

[00:28:48] Buttercup's daughter in this. Ooh I don't know or do I want to play like a billy crystal character? I don't know Maybe I want to play no, I don't want to play buttercup actually. She's not funny in it I want to play one of the funny characters. Okay

[00:29:03] So this scene is going to be a bookshop I think and it's the grandfather who because I just read here grandfather reads a novel to his sick grandson Um, yeah

[00:29:12] The guy that played colombo was the grandfather but he's dead now, but yes and it was fred savagely the boy Yeah, okay So we requested your character would come in looking to buy another novel start reading

[00:29:22] Another book. Okay. So not the princess bryan. We're gonna read another book Yeah, it'll be the same adventure princess groom. It's a what the princess groom. Oh the princess groom. Okay

[00:29:32] Um, so yeah, I mean the scene will start saying I I get that you're confused. So am I or this might go um But yeah, so once we say action, I mean it would just be the bird doing this Oh god, yeah

[00:29:44] God help us because I do not do not know this movie at all Um, this is enough. Okay, and I don't know what this movie is that you've just set up So we're doing a whole different movie sequel to princess bride. I don't know the references

[00:29:56] Um, all right a sequel to the princess bride and i'm coming into a bookshop to buy It's the start of the movie naturally. Yeah the start of the movie. Okay

[00:30:06] Um, it'll be fine. Oh, hello there new customer. Are you looking for buy a book am I am I? The right place it is a bookstore, correct? Yeah, just hundreds of books behind me. Can you see does this does it?

[00:30:17] Why can't you sit here to buy a book it would be weird if I was here not to buy grapefruit We're in a don't understand why you're being confrontational today

[00:30:25] Or suddenly I presume we haggle in this world. You're the one that got started with me with thousands of books Don't you see they're not thousands of books. There's hundreds It's a healthy amount of books in a bookstore and you come in saying am I in a bookstore?

[00:30:36] It just seems sarcastic Well now you're just bragging about how your bigger books are. Um, I feel like this is triggering ben's big books Are the finest books in the world have you know? You've got big books and you cannot lie. All right is branding

[00:30:51] That's brandy. I feel like it's um copyrighted but okay stealing. Um Yes, I of a song I like big butts and I cannot lie. Anyway, um, I would like a book Um a very special book. I have hundreds of books. There's one on accounting

[00:31:06] Um one on marketing one on seo and uh data manipulation Okay I don't need a list of all the hundreds of books that you have. I would like a specific book I would like a book. Um that has

[00:31:21] Everything that the princess bride book had in it. I would like comedy drama romance um and pirates Well, zack snider has written a book like that a fantastic piece called 300 and I think it's it's now the

[00:31:39] The book 300 um, so if you like that we can give you that No, uh, I don't think that's quite the vein that I was going for I would like a book that when the grandfather reads it to the son whose grandfather your grandfather

[00:31:52] It'll come a grandfather any grandfather reads this to their grandchild. Oh it will evoke Wonder and splendor and take them away. I'm totally with you I'm actually a grandfather myself and I wait a grandfather reading to his son. No his grandchild any grandchild. Oh, sorry

[00:32:10] Yeah, no, I have it. I have a book here. It's called the princess groom Um, it's a brilliant book. I love to read it to my grandson Yeah, it's the book you want room. The princess is a groom. I like it. That's very that's very

[00:32:23] 2024 we don't know if it's a man or a woman it could be both. It's a they them That's great the princess Groom princess is a princess and a groom comedy action part a bit of terror people are nearly dead, but they come back to life

[00:32:38] Perfect book. That sounds great and very woke too that the character is that they them I mean Um, but anyway, that's my book. You're not allowed to have that i'm reading that to my grandson. Um, if you want, um

[00:32:49] Why would you offer me then? You just told me the exact book I want and now I can't have it Well, yeah, that's but i'm telling you the screenplay for 300 is practically the same it was only for 80 euro I give that to you right now

[00:33:03] For 300 is this a I am saying very clearly 300 No, do you know what 300 it's about three A tree that is 100 years old that fights the purgine army If anything It is fantastic

[00:33:23] You love it. I mean I do love I do like trees but um, and 100 year old tree sounds interesting I kind of a benjamin button thing with trees and

[00:33:33] It goes backwards and purgine army. I'm fine. I'll give it a try. Okay. There you go. Good look end of scene. Yeah It's fine. Well done. That could have went to a lot worse. Yeah That's always the review I want yeah Yeah, yeah

[00:33:51] Would have been way worse than it was well done. Thanks for helping me on that because I was floundering Um, there is a knock on your door knock knock knock again. God i'm so busy today. Hello

[00:34:01] I'm just in the shooting a movie. What can I do? Sorry? Um, I just saw your scene was was finished Um, it's paul again the finance guy. Hello. Um, hello, um Almighty and hilarious renee. Um, i'm actually just getting on a plane

[00:34:14] I'm going to portugal for nine weeks on holiday. Remember I booked So nine weeks on holiday, but okay, I just saved up my holiday hours So, uh, I just letting you know about the stadium has built 10 million people are all waiting for you So ready

[00:34:27] Massive it's huge. It's huge but it also has like a nice intimate feel to it Do you know what I mean that you can really? Perfect now I did check to check the finance again because it cost a bit of money. It cost 10 billion

[00:34:40] I hope you don't mind, you know, um, how much did we have 30? Well, it looked like 30 billion, but it turns out there's a minus sign besides The 30 billion so we were actually minus 30 billion in debt. We weren't um, so we're actually broke where we're actually minus 40 billion

[00:34:57] I mean it was I thought I thought it was just That is a big I know the country really screwed up here didn't they but anyway, um The imf are looking to figure out what's happening

[00:35:08] Yeah, I did maybe they'll help you but i'm gonna get on you. I'm gonna holiday now You're being removed the island Removing myself, I'm so sorry. You're cut up i'm cut up. You're cut off paul. What do you mean? You're cut off

[00:35:21] You're cut off no more drinks for you and uh, and the bouncers are now taking you out. That's you're done We're getting a new finance minister taking you out like You want me to shoot you why are you giving me those ideas? No

[00:35:34] No, you're done like you're cancelled. You're out of the country paul, but i'm coming back in nine weeks Oh, you're not you're gone forever. Why you're out you've been banned

[00:35:43] Just gonna put your picture on the wall and they can't come in if we see if we see you Okay, just just wondering there now paul has nine children. Um under the age of three. So what are we doing with the kids? paul is

[00:35:57] Way too fertile and so yeah, he's got to go with the kids all of them Under he has a whole family. He's got to go. He's got to go. He's gone All of them are gone and his husband

[00:36:09] His husband and the kids can stay but paul has to go So you're separating the family he can decide what he wants to do if the family will go with him or not That's his decision. Can he come back and see him? Nope. Oh, okay

[00:36:21] Or he can take them with him Up to him, but he messed up Mistake that's a big one. Have you any idea what um what we're going to do to start making a bit of money out Of this place easy one

[00:36:35] We we sell each ticket even if we sold each ticket for um One dollar there's 10 million dollars right there straight away and you're going to be doing these shows more than once, right?

[00:36:47] Boom, we're gonna have shows every night and guess what people of relaria i'm going back on two more I'm gonna go outside the country bring some laughter some other countries make some money and bring it back and you're welcome

[00:36:59] That I have you're putting this all on yourself, but you're working a lot. Yeah, I am You're right You're not a bit bitter about that like everyone else see everyone else just the country is broke and everyone gets to go to a comedy club

[00:37:11] Whereas you're doing all the work to get money. Are you not a bit like fuck these people? No, because I love what I do I mean Your approval rating went down to 88 after this. Why why didn't mom go down? I'm the one doing everything people like paul

[00:37:25] Yeah, paul is one of those people. He just everyone likes him now Paul sucked and he he doesn't 87 percent don't But paul didn't know the difference between minus and plus he said it was just a smudge on his laptop

[00:37:39] He didn't he did he thought of he didn't realize it was it was a minus See that's already a negative that his laptop's that dirty. I mean paul's dirty and he can't add This is terrible for our dirty dirty paul. Yeah, no everyone loves dirty paul dirty paul

[00:37:53] Yeah, he's gone. Okay, uh, i'll tell you what there is actually one more question But before I get to that I do have good news. Um, do you know who your new finance person is?

[00:38:01] What would their name be? Oh, it's gonna be a woman but a woman. Oh, are you telling me who it is? No, no, i'm just wondering what her name is. I'm making yeah. Yeah. Oh um susan mcclain

[00:38:16] I mean that does sound funny. I think she should change her name to susan mcclain I think on a hilarious island it should be Hi susan mcclain. Hello. Hi um mcclain come on in love the red nose you're wearing very own brand

[00:38:32] I didn't want to change my name or where it is supposed. Yeah, um Oh, this voice. Um I yeah, and it's hilarious. I'm laughing already. You're laughing already. I am Yeah, I just want to make sure something we're making loads of money just to be clear

[00:38:47] Uh, I checked the finances again. It turns out that minus sign was an equal sign We we actually always had 30 billion. It wasn't It wasn't a minus sign poor paul. Thanks. Can I get the minister of math in here, please?

[00:39:01] Can I get the minister of math? I would like everybody to have to take Grade one math. I want everyone to know the difference between plus minus and equals. Okay Hello minister for math joe car here joke car. Is that what you do? Yeah, joe car

[00:39:16] Joe car is here. Hello I'm gonna call you joke for sure. Yes, that's very on brand as well for hilarious island. Uh joke what's uh, yes Can we get everybody at least grade one math? Oh, I didn't we didn't waste we didn't waste time on

[00:39:30] Religious island with math. Did we yeah. Oh, all right. Yeah, we will we will what do we do about paul? He's stuck in portugal Well, it's the seventh funniest country in the world. He's fine

[00:39:42] I think it's the ninth funniest to be honest since paul's been there. He's been missing his kids so much It's really drawn down the country. It's like it's below if you can believe it ireland Oh god, that's really unfunny

[00:39:57] Poor paul. Yeah below ireland. We gotta get him back here Yeah, and and i'm talking about the republic the south part of ireland That's how bad I feel terrible. We gotta get home bring paul back. I didn't realize the approval rating goes up. Yay

[00:40:16] Paul dirty paul now that paul's on the way back I have to ask the final question for you if at some point you decide that you are going to um, give up the

[00:40:26] Ruling the country you're gonna retire who would your heir be and it has to be someone who is actually Either mentioned on this podcast or someone who's alive. It can't be a hypothetical great-great-grandson carol bernett

[00:40:40] She's probably not gonna live much longer, um, but she is uh, you don't know who carol bernett is she was um She's a famous comedian. Um, she had her own show the carol bernett show for a long time a sketch comedy show

[00:40:56] She's a legend. She's 91. Yeah exactly. So then she's gonna die and then I get to come back, you know It's uh, oh so you're okay. I do recognize the face actually. Yes. Yes, but I you know

[00:41:07] I I recognize the face. All right, and she's been around for ages So you're gonna ask her do you think she'd do it though? It's like what she do now is she retired She's not even retired. She's on that new show palm Royale right now

[00:41:19] She is palm really she's a fair play to her. I know see can't stop her right? So she's got a couple years in her and then i'll take a vacation and then and then i'll come back

[00:41:30] You plan to be out of action for like two weeks. Well, you know, wait actually jesus has gone very morbid Um, yeah, you don't know she's gonna finish filming the whole season So she's gonna be hopefully around for a bit. Yeah

[00:41:42] Yeah, caribbean ad will take over i'll take a year sabbatical and then i'll come back With some new material in our 10 million seats That's good. Yes. Good idea to go to thinking. Okay. Um, I mean i'm gonna stop calling you the hilarious and almighty rene now but not

[00:41:58] I don't think you should but yeah, go on. Yeah, maybe I might uh the The almighty and hilarious rene Yeah, thank you for being on the show and Uh, where do people find you online? Uh on instagram rene percy comedian Or on my website renepercy.com

[00:42:16] Right and you're in la is it lay kind of farm when you're not touring portugal. Yes I'm in los angeles a lot. Um, but i'm on the road as well And feel free to message me and let me know where you want me to come next. Yay

[00:42:27] um, thank you and thanks everyone for listening to this podcast and I do have a final question to ask you just quick one if when you're leaving on your one year sabbatical away from ruling

[00:42:36] What would your final words of wisdom be for your citizens? Um, um, live laugh love As paul runs past your arms and like really Starved and sad as he goes into the arms of his children and husband is he what it cut out. Sorry

[00:42:50] Yes, I think that was a beautiful thing whatever you just said Perfect. Okay. Goodbye everyone. Bye. I don't care. I'm on sabbatical now. I'm like, you're gone. You're gone. You're gone Good luck