Tyrant In Training Episode 47 Candice Palladino, the C.A.O of CandyLand!

[00:00:07] Hello everyone, this is The Tyrant In Training Podcast, I am Kevin Ryan, I'm the host and I'm joined once again beside my fiancee Celine Well done, yeah. It sounds like I just put you in, posted, posted a picture. I'll be up a fantastic voice.

[00:00:23] You're too close I feel to the mic now. Okay. Yeah, a little bit too close. A little bit further. Yeah, there. You can stay in the room. Just a little bit, yeah, no.

[00:00:35] Okay. Yes, I think I can be heard. You can be heard. You're fine. Okay. I'm pushing you a little bit back. Gently. Okay, so thanks for listening to this podcast while it is in about time.

[00:00:49] You interview guests and ask them what they would do if they were running their own country. Such as? Such as what's your official title? What sort of scandal might you be involved in? And what sort of statue would you like built in your honour?

[00:01:04] Oh, I made a point. That's pretty nice. Nice, right? Yeah. It's on the sensor. Okay, so you can find this podcast on its own website, it's tyrantintraining.podcastpage.io And you can find it on YouTube at tyrantintraining.podcast and find myself on Twitter, threads, bluesskine, Instagram, at kevryanperson.

[00:01:29] They can't find you because you're doing secret stuff. And also you can find us now on TikTok at tyrantintraining.podcast.com Yay! You're still wondering what the secret stuff is. I'm very curious. So, Exploding laptop will tell you later. That's a mission impossible to record.

[00:01:47] Do they actually say Exploding laptop? Which means, what do they say? Which means, why would they say it? Is it called Exploding laptop or are you just using that to say it? The movie is called Mission Impossible.

[00:02:02] Yeah, and it's the whole thing like this mission should you choose to accept it. Except it. Is that not James Bond or is that Mission Impossible? No, it's Mission Impossible.

[00:02:11] Okay, yeah. I got what you meant but the way you phrased it I just thought like, is that like... Sorry, yeah. I was like is that like the name of a meme or something? Exploding laptop will tell you later.

[00:02:23] You just phrased it's...the way you phrased it did not compute into my brain correctly. I'm sorry, I apologize. No, no, that's not... You're not really like the meme in Mission Impossible nowadays. So, any who, are you familiar with Hopecore? No. Nope. Hopecore is apparently a new trend.

[00:02:41] I don't know how new it is. But it's on TikTok, I found it. Okay. And it is, I have to look up the definition because I forget it in five to two seconds ago.

[00:02:49] It is an emerging narrative where individuals actively seek joy and positivity in the world around them. So basically you have Hopecore videos because you want to look at positive stuff instead of all the awful things on social media. That's pretty good. Yes.

[00:03:01] So, I want to go viral on TikTok so anyway, we're not doing videos yet. So, Hopecore, hit me. Go. What happened in your life? Hopecore. This has to be Hopecore and 2 to Core.

[00:03:14] My sister bought me a Polly Pocket gift for Christmas last year and it was really nice and it made me cry because I used to love them when I was a kid and I just thought it was lovely.

[00:03:25] Did she, when you were a kid, play with your Polly Pocket and not let you play? Be honest. No, I doubt it. I don't think so. I mean, I doubt it. I know her. She's exactly the type to do it. Are we talking about...? Is it? No.

[00:03:39] I'm not saying anything. What was it? Oh, okay. Now they don't know which one. Who? Who's your brother? Okay, that's nice. Where is the Polly Pocket now? In my room. Our room. Where? What about it? It's in the box that I made you at Christmas.

[00:03:58] Oh yeah, I loved that. See, that was very nice. Okay, so today's guest also... Is Hopecore. She's hopeful. She is hopeful. She's comedian. She's won awards. She won awards for her latest short film. I saw that recently. No, no. And her name is...? Do you remember? Candice.

[00:04:16] Candice Palladino. Yes. So what are we going to do first before Candice's Outer Candice quotes? I'm going to play you a trailer for a podcast. Oh, fun. Hello, this is Michelle, the host of Haunted Moonlight, a pop-off network podcast.

[00:04:35] If you are like me and enjoy anything and everything spooky, then this podcast is for you. New episodes drop every Sunday and are available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Audible, and iHeart Radio. Can't wait to keep it spooky with you.

[00:04:53] I apologize. A bit of a tonal difference from our nonsense with Hopecore into Haunted Moonlight. It sounds cool. It's spooky. I like the atmosphere music in it. It's all about zombies and vampires. Yeah, good actually. The spirit music.

[00:05:14] The latest episodes are about skinwalkers. Do you know what skinwalkers are? They take off people's skin and put them on top of them and walk around like that? No, I know very little. But it is like in the Navajo tribe area. And it's about like Benchville shamans.

[00:05:35] And I think they can shape ships alright, but how do they do it? I'm not sure. And a previous episode before that is about skinwalker ranch. Which you think like, oh, that's a movie like Bone Tomahawk. Right? You know what goes on in skinwalker ranch? What? Yes. Orgies.

[00:05:54] Oh, sorry. What? What are you on? No, UFOs. It was UFO sighting. I was thinking you know. No. Kind of situation going on. Okay. I'm so sorry. Your family is a ranch. I brought down the tone.

[00:06:23] Okay. Candice Pelladino brings up the tone and then brings it down and back up again like a rollercoaster. So I'm going to play. There's a reason why I like her. She's very funny and very nice and she's a very cute dog.

[00:06:35] And I've been feeding her husbands lovely as well, right? But I think I know it. So the second clip in this, right? Out of context, but out of context rather.

[00:06:45] She, I think basically she's the first person on the podcast who has the same kind of vibe as Jeff Goldblum. And I think that's why I'm like, my God, she is fantastic. That makes sense. Yeah. Listen to the second one. I think you'll get what I mean.

[00:07:03] Anyway, here's the other context quote. Is that not a smile to you? Oh, there must be something. There's a fact. The most amazing person in the world. But sometimes you go out in the world and you talk to people and you're like, you shouldn't have a voice.

[00:07:31] Okay. This is the worst podcast ever. I'm kidding. It's amazing. La la la la. One word to describe her. Crazy. She's a crazy person. A delightfully crazy person. You get what I mean about Jeff Goldblum.

[00:07:52] Just random noises being made when you ask her like, what time is it? La la la la. The time is something. And stalling. She stalls a lot. That is fair. That's very fair. Okay. I stall too, but I don't do it as entertainingly as that.

[00:08:12] So you're not invited to orgies? So you're not invited to those orgies? Stalling, not singing, just awkwardly walking around the perimeter of the orgie. Oh dear. My friends are very embarrassed with you. And I love you. Thank you.

[00:08:30] So yeah, listen to this podcast. I run off energy now. Please enjoy. We need food. Yeah, we need food. Okay, bye. So I always struggle in figuring out how to start the first question. Okay.

[00:08:54] John, I'm just going to say it. I'm just going to get out of the way. If you're the ruler of a country, have you any tended seeds to kill off anyone? Um, I probably but secretly because I wouldn't want people to think that I'm a murderer.

[00:09:06] Oh, and I'll just say I am just a, um, I'm like a vice inside your head. You're avoiding Kevin. Yeah, so you don't, you're not able to kill off Kevin. Not poor Kevin. No, oh no, no, no. I would never in a wildest dream.

[00:09:21] People say that and then it gets awkward when I have to edit it out because later on they say stop talking and get really annoyed at me and I have to edit that out as well. So keep that energy up. Okay. Okay.

[00:09:33] So we'll start off just so you know, we're going to pick a new country for you. Okay, we're gonna, we're gonna kind of like pop up an island. We won't take over an existing country. Okay. Yeah.

[00:09:45] You get to decide where in the world you want your new island. Okay. How good are you with geography? It was not my strong suit, sir. I'm an actor. Um, but don't worry. I can quickly and seamlessly get to a world map. Oh, brilliant. Okay. Yeah.

[00:10:04] This is just what weather do you want? But yeah, where do you want the, can you see the map? I can. Yeah, I can see the map. Thank you. Anywhere you want in the world we'll put an islander.

[00:10:14] I'm really attracted to like Scottish, uh, Scottish weather, but I'm also my gut says the Pacific Northwest of America, like off the coast of Washington or Canada. Oh, God. I went quick there and so, but we'll let that be, oh, that'll be cold. Yeah, that'll be. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:35] You like cold weather? I think I'm not the most comfortable in a bathing suit. So I really like being under blanket, you know, parkas and like being able to just like, er, jizz all up in there. Do you know what's something really nice?

[00:10:51] Cause it doesn't happen often here even is when you go to like a bar for even just a one drink or something like that. And you sit outside and they have blankets on the chairs. Yeah. Isn't that quite nice? Yeah, if I love wrapping myself up in them.

[00:11:04] Yeah. Okay, we can do that. I mean, I hope that happens in your new country, but um, okay, we'll put a Pacific Northwest, right? Yeah. We'll put an island there and it's going to house 10 million people. Is that okay? Sounds good. You don't want less or more people.

[00:11:18] Just sometimes people get a bit weird. Um, I mean, it sounds like a lot. It'll be a big enough island though. We won't have to come in on top of it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. We can go with 10 million. I'm happy with that.

[00:11:31] I just, yeah, I'm just thinking like ought to give enough. How many's in the UK? Should it must be way more than 10 million in the UK? I don't know, but now I'm thinking so Manhattan. Yeah.

[00:11:44] I have a shit ton of people and like that's a lot of people. Manhattan has one half, but that's only a tiny area surely. So the island is bigger. Oh yeah. That's it. Yeah, it'll be big. It'll be a big island. Okay. UK has 67 million people. Um, okay.

[00:12:02] That's a lot. Yeah, that's good. That's good. 10 million. Jump five. Yeah. Let's go with five. Five million. Okay. There's five million people on your island. Yes. Now I'm going to actually write this down because I forget.

[00:12:14] I'm going to ask you where not where what name would you like to name the island? Candyland. Candyland. Candyland. Yeah. Oh my God, what's happened? Um, I'm sorry if you heard a big, big computer and I is there. Oh no, I didn't. Yeah.

[00:12:31] Candyland C A N D Y L A N D. Yes. Not C A N D I. No, um, candy with a one. Candy candy. Yeah. Okay.

[00:12:44] Is there are we going straight like is the island going to be exactly how it's named candy everywhere or is it like ironic? No, candy is a nickname of mine. Oh, okay. I'm going straight in. So let's just, you know, read like the branding.

[00:12:59] I feel like that's all about you. Yeah. And also candy denote sweetness and I don't want it to be like sugar obsessed land where there's like way too much sugar and sweet. But I want it to represent that there's going to be some fun and yeah.

[00:13:18] Sweet things to come. Do you know the way you have like Belgian waffles? Yes. And you have Swiss chocolate, right? That's a known for the chocolate. Yeah. Is there anything that like candyland is known for that people are like, oh, can I have a Candyland.

[00:13:34] Candyland, um, uh, sugar rope. Oh, they're like red wines or they were kind of, but they're like, um, they're the the salt and sweet like sourcatch kids. Have you ever. Yes. Yeah. I think they call Candyland ropes. What did I call it?

[00:13:52] Um, can you land a sugar ropes? Sugar ropes. Yeah. Cool. Is that your sweet of choice? I do. I do love a summer catch kid. Okay. So Candyland is set up because it's named after yourself and I'm wondering are you just going full on megalomaniac or whatever.

[00:14:08] But um, what official title would you have for yourself? I think I would be like, like CEO chief artistic officer. Oh, but wait, does that. I like it, but does that kind of say then oh is there other roles that are just as important or more like this?

[00:14:27] Yeah, because like, part of me wants like a band of people to help rule the country like a not parliament big but like this. Because like I know that I'm not the best at I mean I didn't even know what import taxes were before. Right.

[00:14:45] I have a good point.

[00:14:46] So I would want some like amazing math person to be with me on this journey and to help out so we're like, we're like an arts rules country and we, we want to bring art to the people but we also have like the things of life that I need people to help with branches.

[00:15:04] Oh my God. Am I sucking at this already? No, I have so many questions though. I have a few questions lined up from it so and one of them I was going to ask anyway.

[00:15:13] So you perfectly like segway then if you're the chief artistic officer, which again, you can be called whatever you want. You can be called a peasant if you want that's up to you right.

[00:15:22] But if you're the chief artistic officer and you want to ban the people to help with the everyday kind of boring government stuff. You don't. Right.

[00:15:31] That's that's what we set up anyway as well because I was going to ask there's two ways we can kind of do it. If you just pick a council or whatever you want to call of like 10 people, do you think they'll run the country?

[00:15:44] You make all the big decisions, whatever you say go but they do the boring stuff. Or you can allow your people to vote for like a parliament or like a Senate of 100 senators and they can vote for them and they'll do the boring stuff.

[00:15:58] But you have the overall say and the people are happy with whatever you decide. Yeah, I think that up there. Thank you for that. I, I don't think I'm allowing voting. You're not a fan of democracy.

[00:16:12] I, I know I mean in theory it's probably a really good thing when you but sometimes you go out in the world and you talk to people and you're like you shouldn't have a voice. So I think I mean Candy Land is named after me.

[00:16:34] I'm pretty fucking awesome and I think what I, Your judgment is solid. Yes, I'm on this ride for a reason. Yeah, and the people are with you. You're leading this bus. Yeah, and if you don't like it, you can, you can leave.

[00:16:49] So you're kicking them out of the country? I wouldn't, I wouldn't say get the fuck out. But I'd be like, well, these are the rules, as you said and you came from your home country. Yeah, if you don't like it, you're welcome.

[00:17:02] But if they protest, you're like, get the fuck out. Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely. And that might be where secret killing comes in. I don't know. Oh, okay. So if someone protests, you may secretly kill them. It probably depends on the extent of their protest.

[00:17:21] But no, no, I would all know. See, I probably should, the thing about secret killing is probably like, like, we shouldn't even talk about secret killing. So the fact that I brought it up, I'm like, But I'm just basically in your head.

[00:17:31] So you're essentially just having a conversation with yourself. Oh right. Yeah. This isn't going to happen. Right. That's right Kevin. I apologize. Yeah, no, we would probably secretly kill people. I mean, you know, you're watching TV and TV shows.

[00:17:45] And why don't they just take them into a back room and kill them? Like not everyone needs to know about this stuff. If you're going to kill someone you don't like, would you kill him humanely or go, no, fuck it, let him suffer.

[00:17:56] Well, it depends on the crime. Oh, they were protesting right outside your house. No, just humanely. I mean, we don't need that. That's fine. By the way, is your husband going over to the island as well? Yes. Yeah, true. And dog. And dog. Sorry.

[00:18:15] Do they have any official titles? He would be CTO, chief technical officer because he's really good at that stuff. And my dog was, she's the mascot of Candyland. So on the flight. Yeah. Yeah. And there's good, there's like a, you know, Mount Rushmore. Yes.

[00:18:39] And there's like a big, white head of her as well on top of one of the mountains because we're in the Pacific Northwest. And, and yeah, she's revered in everyone, everyone actually, you know, because you have to love dogs to be on the island as well. Right.

[00:18:57] And he probably loves her more than they love me, but I accept that because she's, she's awesome. And you say she's revered? Yes. Like a goddess? Yes. So they're praying to the goddess of Coco? Yes. That's fine. No problem. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:13] You seem really pleased that your dog is no deity. I mean, you've seen her. So she's very, yeah, she is. She is very. It's like, I think if I told people that or when I, when I tell people that they believe it, that it's possible.

[00:19:30] She's, she's majestic, I'd say. So actually maybe this kind of makes sense and that's that. What type of house are you going to, all going to live in? A beautiful like long cabin, secluded in the woods. Oh, like how was it like nobody's around you for miles or?

[00:19:52] Probably, probably like a few acres. Yeah. We don't need like complete peace and solitude. But I think like, you know, we have Wi-Fi and hot water and stuff and toilets. I love a toilet. I don't camp camping in the band and Candyland. Oh, I'm not a camping fan.

[00:20:18] The scenery is very good, you think? Well, yes, but there are houses for you. Are they allowed to go out? Are they allowed to go out? Only on certain holidays. Oh, okay. The day of Coco? Yes. The day of Coco glamping is allowed in her honor.

[00:20:36] As long as you all wear white, white, it's like a white party, you know, for Coco because she's not, not, not for any other reason. It's a white party. It's the end of the podcast. I know, oh my God. I got it. Okay, just for listeners.

[00:20:57] You know what? You're right. I'm also sick of diversity. You know what else? It's about time someone done this podcast said it. This is how, this is how we get like loads of views on YouTube. Oh my God, please do not. Oh, that's great. I'm so sorry.

[00:21:15] Coco is a beautiful white dog. I apologize. That's really terrible. Please do not use that. Oh, that's brilliant. I really enjoyed that. Okay. So you're not allowing glamping. No glamping. No, I think, I think glamping, I would allow it at certain times. At certain times. Yeah.

[00:21:38] Certain day of Coco. Yeah, that sounds like a lovely day. Should they dress up for day of Coco? Obviously. And I'm kind of imagining. Like they would adorn her with beautiful lays. Like flowers and things. They would adorn the dog with that. Yeah. Oh yeah.

[00:22:03] Yeah, like as part of the festival. Yes. And then we could all get on stage and just tell their favorite Coco jokes, like a roast, because I think roasts are fun too. And she's really funny. So she wouldn't mind people making fun of her.

[00:22:17] I think that would be fun. So if you have a comedian going up, go on. I'm glad to celebrate Coco's day. I can't wait to celebrate her funeral. Yeah. Oh really? That's fine. Yeah. Oh yeah, no, that's, I mean, unless you know, she was on her deathbed,

[00:22:36] which I wouldn't like. Oh my God, what am I doing on this podcast? I'm so sorry. What am I doing? What am I doing? Oh my God. Okay. This is the worst podcast ever. I'm kidding. It's amazing. I can't use that for a trailer. I'm sorry.

[00:22:56] No, I can't. Yeah, just reverse it a bit, but we'd go back. This is the best podcast ever. With Kevin. Now does it gap and it's fine. Thank you. I'll use that. Oh, when you said about a lot of Cabando,

[00:23:13] I was a bit worried because Coco's a beloved goddess. Yes, you're going to have a lot of pilgrims. Yes. Is that what you call it? Yeah, and a pilgrimage. Yeah. Well, there's a huge fence surrounding our property and it's made up. It's a huge fence. It's a hand.

[00:23:33] Well, like I'm like guarded. I'm guarded. Yeah. And we have like the security cameras and stuff. Oh, so they have shotguns and stuff. Yeah. They have weapons. Yeah. You know, obviously we need to protect ourselves. That makes sense. Right.

[00:23:51] But I'm just curious when I said shotguns, you seemed a bit like, no, no, I guess so. But did you have another weapon in mind? I mean, I was imagining rifles. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. They probably. Very better. Obviously. Yeah, sorry. That's why you're sharp shooters.

[00:24:06] You know, that's why you're the chief artistic officer. There we go. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you have, you're not going to deal with the people at all? No. Do you know what? I don't think I, You can zoom in to be. Yeah. And I think,

[00:24:24] I think I want to create the art that they enjoy and that brings them happiness and fun. And then like everyone else can kind of give them day to day. Yeah. Yeah. You will keep the morale up and yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

[00:24:42] I think it's very artistic, right? That's what it's known for like. It is. It's like we sing, we dance, we tell stories. We, yeah. Is there, is there any, is there any medium of art of like an artistic nature that you'd be like, yeah, I love art.

[00:25:02] We don't need that one. That's, that's still not interesting. Sorry. Any art. I mean, I had a moment of like porn. But you had a moment of porn. Like, like, like, Like should I love porn? Oh yeah. Yeah. But I think,

[00:25:22] You know, as long as it's consensual and it's regulated and like laws and people want like that, whom I to, to judge. I hate crafting. Crafting. Crafting. Like, you know, Crafting is like, oh, look, I have a piece of fabric and I'm going to stitch in the

[00:25:41] fabric and we're going to like die. I'm not, I'm not a fan. I think it's like, It's not my faith. And so I would ban crafting. Oh wait. So it's like, Oh, I have a scarf and I'm going to die. It's a rainbow scarf done. Oh, Oh, Oh,

[00:25:59] Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Does that even count like when someone just puts like a load of glitter on a, On a wine glass and goes done. I think so, like home, like home crafting or it's like not my way to spend time or like Dacolpaj.

[00:26:19] I do your crafters. I apologize. I'm sure you love what you do. What is that? Dacolpaj is like, Cut up pictures, whether they be pictures of people or from magazines or things and then put it like make a collage,

[00:26:36] Like put them on paper and then glue it with like, See the fact that I even know what this is and I don't like it. Yeah. And it's like clear glue and you like show almost like shellac and like a whole new thing and people can be like

[00:26:51] obsessed with this type of arts and crafts. But it's, It's not the thing where you like get a thousand pictures of canary. Reeves and then put them all together and then when you step back, it's one picture. No. Oh no. That's that's kind of, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:27:12] This is just random. Yeah. Random things and people can Dacolpaj vases and like they could Dacolpaj anything to your heart's content. And I, oh, you know, it's so hard to have these, you know, we live in a society where you're supposed to be

[00:27:33] like loving everybody and this and I feel so bad for having these opinions like that. I hate Dacolpaj and crafting and I feel like a bad person. I shouldn't be saying this out loud. Oh my God. No, no, it's the people who say,

[00:27:46] Oh, everything is perfect and everything, you know, everything is great and I love everything. The people who will never admit to like actually I can hate that when that happens. That's the dare to, I dare to people I don't trust at all.

[00:27:58] No, you have to have something that you like but sports ignorant me are just with no rhyme or reason hate. Like I hate Bradley Cooper. Oh, okay. I'm sure he's lovely. I just cannot stand him. Okay. All right. And it's like every year he's at an award show

[00:28:19] and someone else wins and he gets up like a, like a very supportive friend and cries and cheers for them. And I'm like, Oh, will you sit the fuck down? You wanted to win that Cooper. And I'm sure it's very genuine and everything else, but yeah. Yeah.

[00:28:34] That's my, it's my comfort blanket of hatred. Okay. Convert. I love that. I want that on a t-shirt. This is my comfort blanket of hatred. Hey, anything I say on this is copyrighted to turn to training and I can sell it. All right.

[00:28:47] Any ideas you come up with I like, I can write it. Even though you're a voice in my head. That's where we get back to real world. Okay. Okay. Something about Candyland because it's an artistic haven.

[00:28:59] Is there any unusual list that your country would be top of in the world? So, I mean saying is the most artistic or funny or the best healthcare is like, you probably find those lists, but is there any list that wouldn't? Yeah.

[00:29:11] An unusual list that would be top of. Um, we'd have the most amount of dogs. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like cared for dogs. They're not like on the street dogs. Not well. Yeah. That's probably not very, that's probably frowned upon. Is it to have a dog?

[00:29:30] Just just out in the street not being cared for. Um, well. I'd say in a way, uh, in a way it is frowned upon and a way it isn't because I do think they are, especially if they're like close to wolves

[00:29:43] or they're like a half dog thing, they probably can take care of themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it would be like if anyone was mean to a dog that's where we take you away and secretly kill you. Oh, and not, and not humanely, not humanely.

[00:29:58] How do you not humane to kill someone? Um, uh, well, one way is probably to let them into a room with a bunch of angry dogs. Uh, and to one part. Yeah, probably. And then I kind of liked the idea of just like, like hooking someone

[00:30:16] with the needle, like every few seconds, like for the rest of time. That's all they're allowed to do. Jesus, how long would it take you to? I don't know. Like do you think I, I don't even know how this will be a life by that

[00:30:29] time if we had that, but um, like slowly just like bleeding to death. Oh, I thought it was just a needle. Like it wouldn't break the skin. It would just annoy you and you die of like starvation. Oh no, I was thinking like actually poke the skin. Yeah.

[00:30:44] I don't know what to do, to do, to do, to do. Thank you. Goodbye. You're not here anymore. I don't. That's horrifying. Especially like animal abusers. Oh my God. Yeah. Needles, needles. Oh, there's a cat. Hello kitty. Hello. Beep ones here about the animal abuse. Yeah.

[00:31:05] To hear about the repercussions of animal abuse. I got them, sir. I got them. Don't worry. I'm not going to have that. I do not. I mean, I get like literally a million people on your island and you're

[00:31:20] going to have the most amount of dogs on your island in the world. Yeah. Do you know how many dogs are in America, which has the most amount of dogs in the world? I do not.

[00:31:28] And now I think maybe my, this is why I need my math guy. My math, my math woman, my math human. To come and help with this. Um, no, I don't know how many dogs there.

[00:31:39] purring loudly and shitting a bit. So you might pick that up under audio. I mean for you to have the most amount of dogs in the world, you're going to have to have more than 90 million dogs.

[00:31:53] Okay that's that's no that I got a pencil that feels like a lot. Yeah you'd have to put them on a bird just hanging off the side of the... Oh my god okay um okay so let's get we'll

[00:32:05] get off that list. I'll do it. Can I help maybe in possibly keeping that on the list? Yeah. You know how you have like um well I mean in Ireland you have like Akkall Island just an island beside Ireland

[00:32:21] but like it's still part of Ireland right? Okay um you could have a dog island. Dog island but I mean it's all Candyland isn't it? Yeah we could be made up of many islands. Like it could be

[00:32:34] I mean basically a haven for dogs especially the ones who don't want enough you don't want an owner type of thing. Yes! Oh my god yes and then the people that are coming to the island are coming

[00:32:45] to be dog carers as well. Right? Yeah oh my god. It's kind of like Jurassic Park just with dogs. Voice in my head you are amazing. That is the best idea I've ever come up with.

[00:32:57] Yes! So it's I've never thought of that. I love it. Yeah um yes and also I want to put out there that no you know fuck it dogs are my favorite. I was gonna say like uh any animal we love animals

[00:33:11] but I'm allowed to just say dogs. No you focus on one and really sort them out maybe in future you can get another island but yeah. But right now we are here to help all the dogs.

[00:33:21] The locals have started calling that Cocoa Land is that okay? Yes yes because my house is definitely Cocoa's house too and people know her name as opposed to my name so that's totally. And the

[00:33:32] island with the dogs is called Cocoa Land. Yeah yeah yeah um okay that's great God will be a lot of tourists. Oh my god we can make a shift ton of money from now on. If I told you oh there's

[00:33:43] an island where they have an island beside it that is just dogs and little huts and stuff and you can go and take pictures. You can feed the dogs if they want. Yeah five uh five dollars for

[00:33:53] every tag on Instagram that we allow you to have um yeah it's amazing we absolutely love it. Um I probably will get back to bro just let you know that there is a small case of pirates

[00:34:07] poaching the dogs but the. Damn those pirates! Yeah exactly yeah a few them happened. I do have questions somewhere by the way what's your favorite uh movie franchise? Oh movie franchise movie franchise. Do you know my main problem is even though I'm an artist I don't

[00:34:29] I definitely don't watch as much as I should. I've gotten very bad for watching movies. Yeah I haven't gone to cinema in such a long time. Because like the only I'd be the only franchise

[00:34:40] like Marvel that's a franchise right? Yeah yeah yeah franchise. Yeah. Do you know what I think I honestly I don't love movie franchises or do you have a favorite movie then? The the the movie um I love old school.

[00:34:57] The Where is Phil? The where is Phil? The Phil Carroll yeah yeah I love that I love singing in the rain. Um and it's singing in the rain the one where they they're a silent movie and then they bring in the

[00:35:11] the like it's really old movie where they have it is really I'm singing in the rain. Yeah just singing in the rain. But it's about a movie studio making a movie and they start using audio instead of a silent

[00:35:25] film is it? I can be thinking of something completely different. Oh my god if it is then you should then I shouldn't be here anymore and I shouldn't say that singing in the rain is my

[00:35:35] favorite or is one of my favorites um because I I can't remember that as part of it but um Wait what was the first movie you said? Old school. Is old school the one which will Fairland?

[00:35:50] Yeah and uh in Spin Spawn yeah yeah yeah I also sir maybe we should scratch the thing in the rain thing um I also just like the Hamilton movie have you seen that? Are you a musical

[00:36:02] fan? No no okay yeah. It's like good so yeah I think a lot of my favorite I'm not a franchise person. I do I have heard a few of the Hamilton songs just from Celine playing them.

[00:36:17] Oh okay. So I appreciate it. You like any of them? Yeah oh they're good um I'm I'm I don't know I'm a bit skeptical of one of the songs how historically accurate but I'm just being

[00:36:28] you know um the guy is it one of the main guys he's in Snowpiercer as well he's very good I can't remember his name but then Celine was like oh he's in Hamilton I was like oh good.

[00:36:39] I don't know what Snowpiercer is should I is that? In my own opinion I think it's sound like Netflix or something and it has two or three seasons and it was very good for the

[00:36:50] first two seasons and then we kind of lost lost track for the third season. Okay. Wonder is but yeah it was it was not too bad what's that guy's name? David David Diggs? Oh okay yeah he's really

[00:37:03] good yeah he was very good in here um okay so I was just curious about the whole movie thing. I do have a problem that you need to I suppose face down if you're going to be over this

[00:37:14] country uh your approval rating is 94 percent it was very good good okay okay I wasn't sure yeah um but a scandal is going to break out involving involving the chief artistic officer

[00:37:28] um and it's going to put your your approval rating down to 71. Okay. But you get to pick what the scandal is okay now I will just say as you're probably thinking of what the scandal

[00:37:42] is um your advisors do say you should go on to the nightly news to talk to the best journalist in the country to kind of explain yourself you know what I mean. Yeah. So are you okay with doing that?

[00:37:55] Yes. You'll you'll sit down with them live TV? Yeah I would yeah I think yeah because I think as even you know as a ruler I think it's important to um to like if you if you don't own your mistakes

[00:38:16] yeah and how can everyone else own them so and I think a lot of the world's problems are because people don't just talk right about things and I think if I were if I make a mistake then I

[00:38:26] would definitely own up it and go I'm really um sorry I screwed up like let's make it better okay we it's a lot of good example that's what I wanted to say yes you are very brave very brilliant

[00:38:39] for doing that first of all. Well my approval rating is maybe four percent. It's 71 right now oh right sorry okay you are going on to I'm gonna play the part as the journalist Anderson

[00:38:51] okay um so we're gonna do this as if it's happening in real time um so I am gonna welcome everyone back to the show after the quarter break and I have the chief artistic officer

[00:39:02] um sitting down with me thanks very much for joining thank you we do have to get on to the biggest scandal that's ever hit candy land in the four months it's been around people are furious

[00:39:12] as you know yes people have egg defenses on your on the fence sorry people have egg defenses on your fence on your property. Yes it's very smelly they have tried to tear down the statue

[00:39:24] of cocoa. Oh broke my heart yeah and they want to know in your own words what's happened what's gone on? Well firstly thank you so much for having me here I really appreciate it um don't stall please

[00:39:40] no I know I would then I would never sir stall on a live interview that is that is blasphemous no one should either that thank you there should be no stalling okay um yeah I

[00:39:55] I don't know I just sounded like a big word oh my counsels that I should use at some point as often as you can use better yes blasphemous it's blasphemous that I did that um you know

[00:40:08] you should never you should never have a live art class with nude people for children that is inappropriate um what were you thinking? I I came into my own thinking you know I've worked

[00:40:27] out a little bit I'm kind of confident you know I formed candy land because I don't like being in a bathing suit but now I'm like okay female power body power positivity let's do this and um

[00:40:40] and I had a dream as as we often do that you know children should have body positivity young yes look at some power right so and art you know that's our main thing here and I said

[00:40:55] yep I will go out to these and I will do it myself and I will we'll have a live drawing class for children and and then and then ah it should not have happened there was 900 nude perform models

[00:41:13] I know and and you know each person had their own positive view on themselves which was great part of it but children that well the issue is yes the issue is and we have the footage

[00:41:27] um do you know that meme of Steve Buscemi where he's dressed up as like a teenager and he's how do you do fellow kids? Oh yes yes well obviously it's problematic and I'm going to skirt past it

[00:41:39] quickly of a nude art drawing class for children but the people who are there weren't children they were in fact 50 middle aged men dressed up as babies saying how do you do fellow art models

[00:41:52] pretending to be children just so they could draw well that just throws me for six exactly did you say six or six sorry this is oh I said six okay sorry yeah I didn't know what was that yeah

[00:42:03] no um wow so they were they had they infiltrated the already problematic art class so well that that is a problem sir and we we need to get down to hey why why did we not

[00:42:20] start talking to my panel now how did we not this is we need to figure out why that happened that so they were just there with the children no no wait what no Jesus I'm I'm so so basically Kevin

[00:42:37] outside the party is trying to get away from trying to dance around the idea of children in a naked art class oh god so so I'm just saying oh what happened was instead of kids

[00:42:47] being there it was 50 middle aged men dressed as babies who are pretending to be kids so they could draw the sexy ladies who are nude see I'm I'm yeah so there's no children involved

[00:43:01] they were we're getting away from that part of us but the outrage is still very real do you do you want to just like I feel like we should just cut everything here I am my dear terrible job

[00:43:13] really well oh my god right that's fine oh that's that's okay right I think it's oh why did I say that oh my god okay see usually I tell people it's a lighthearted podcast I should have mentioned that part

[00:43:32] it's lighthearted okay it's lighthearted should I make up something else as to what no it's too late now you're it's too late yeah it's too late Steve Vashemi look like snow actually I like Steve

[00:43:42] yes middle aged men have ran in and infiltrated this this art class which when you think about it is actually good because we don't want the children to no no no I mean it's bad because I

[00:43:54] suppose then you're not really consenting to those old men going in Jesus Christ this actually is a scandal oh my god this is a scandal and the lookers are like oh I never drink tea and I'm like

[00:44:04] all right we'll make some scandal out of it people are outraged but yeah um we when you said god go big or go home yeah you know that's the first thing that came to my mind and it's

[00:44:15] terrible scandal and and rather appropriately it's only now that whatever way you've moved your screen that I can see the sign saying shit happens behind you instead of just happens um perfect timing

[00:44:28] oh my god okay are you stopping these what are you doing with the 50 middle aged men we are going to um they need to go onto the dog island and um yes and uh they need to

[00:44:45] they need to make peace with the dogs on the island and once the dogs allow them to leave once they know they've been reformed then they can come back

[00:44:57] do you think do you think that's a bit of a um a reward for them if I said you just did something bad here I'm putting you on to an island with a lot of seemingly friendly dogs

[00:45:12] until they think you're okay basically until you're you're you're ready to come back well because part of me is thinking like uh did they do anything that bad because they just

[00:45:22] wanted to see some naked people and draw them which when I just said that at the same time that I went oh well that's actually kind of weird um I don't know I feel like dogs are really smart

[00:45:38] and they have like six senses when it comes to things so I'm like yeah they know like they know and they have their own little hierarchy and they can like nip it you and to tell you to do things

[00:45:54] and do you do you just step outside the podcast for a sec yeah do you believe in the whole thing of genoed way if like someone walks into your house and like Coco grows them just doesn't get along

[00:46:04] with them they're like something bad about that person yeah you would go at that right yeah I would too but have you ever had a dog just not like you because I've had that not with fucking every

[00:46:14] dog if it was every dog I would think I need to change something about my life there's something wrong yeah but I've had like I say even more than one dog in my life be like mm and I'm like oh my god

[00:46:26] I'm awful like oh there's something bad interesting well I've never had I've never had a dog like me yeah I've never had a dog that's fucking bullshit but um I do like I trust I think if the dog

[00:46:42] doesn't like me I don't I don't take that to heart as much I just go okay like you know sometimes people don't like each other yeah if it was like my dog part of my pack mm mistrust someone else

[00:46:56] and then I'm like okay we need to actually have a serious serious conversation about this I wouldn't judge myself too harshly if a dog didn't like me I just go okay well they're being cautious and

[00:47:07] we'll get we'll get there at some point like with you and me alpaca do you know how when we start to the zoom and you're like oh hey a bit nervous about the podcast and you'd be fine

[00:47:17] if you think you were nervous then if I ever meet yourself your husband and Coco I am going to be sweating Coco doesn't fucking have any interest in me or fucking if she was to growl I would be

[00:47:34] so mentally destroyed within me like this is a nightmare nobody has ever cut me as deep as that I'll put in a good word you could send a sock or some like use sock before you come so I give her

[00:47:50] her your your smell and then I'm sure yeah but it smells like a cat yes she's not yes she's a medicat yet in her life I mean she's tried um but I don't think they've been just sending

[00:48:02] or sending a dm to a cat no like sometimes the cats say the neighborhood cats will come on the property and she's like who are you why are you you're not yeah okay well maybe yeah I'll send

[00:48:15] you a sock okay yeah yes please thank you you're welcome um okay so just to finish off the anderson asking questions do you promise this to never happen again yeah a thousand percent

[00:48:26] that was a stupid thing yeah that idea it was a stupid idea and um clearly someone put something in my tea that day yeah I'm really yes I'm really sorry that it happened I don't even know why

[00:48:41] yeah I know it never should have sir and I I humbly apologize okay I'll let you off thank you let you off of that um thank you oh my god uh as it goes to break anderson thanks you um obviously

[00:48:55] for for jenny um just what's mentioned by the way we're making a um documentary about about the chief artistic officer oh yeah as you should yeah to be honest it's a bit of a propaganda piece but

[00:49:06] like we're pro makes sense CAO so that's okay um who we can do that after CAO CAO CAO whoo whoo yeah and you might start being called a chief artistic owl with the whoo to after but yeah it's fine

[00:49:27] I take it we just want to know is there any fact about you that if you want we can make up about you that um we'll put into the documentary just to get people going wow um a fact yeah any any any

[00:49:41] factor story we can say and we can really sell it to the people like this is what happened or this is what she's like or oh there must be something there's a fact um

[00:50:03] the most amazing person in the world not really a fact no no you voted the most amazing person love I won American Idol six years in a row Jesus yeah and it was like really weird because they

[00:50:20] kept asking me back and I was like it's not fair for the other people that are trying to do it and I'm really like yeah but America loves you um and that is what gave me the the confidence to

[00:50:32] start Candyland start yeah yeah yeah six six years in a row and also we can have people under the documentary say like and of course skeptics will say well there's no proof of that but in fact there is because they have to destroy those tapes because they realized

[00:50:49] exactly people won't like someone winning six years in a row even though they're so incredibly talented we'll have to make up they edit at the end so someone else yeah yeah yeah yeah me and riot yeah always always thank you does Terry Cruz do that as well

[00:51:05] Terry Cruz I know I'm thinking of like American is it he might be like America's America's got talent yeah yeah yeah but he's definitely he definitely does one of them one of the shows okay we can definitely

[00:51:16] do um do that um and and hopefully the approval rating will go up start going up a bit more I've also um I I've birthed dogs as well what yes you've birthed you've been pregnant and a whole

[00:51:34] Irish accent with the th of the struggling um you have been pregnant with a dog I have I am you know uh Daenerys can be the mother of dragons I am do you have a dog egg I am the mother of

[00:51:48] dogs Coco at the dog house where they they grow um from other fluffs and we're trying now to create other Coco's oh my god can I have one um if you come to the island and you're getting absolutely

[00:52:05] and that's what we are trying to do um to proliferate the one and only Coco that was on the island um and I would not that I use the right word but um yeah I'm the I'm the mother of dogs

[00:52:20] okay by the way uh I should come back to and just make sure with the whole dog poachers what are we doing if we see them they are just there's no questions asked

[00:52:31] just get rid of them shut on site yeah absolutely fine um yeah no that's that's like a whole heartedly agree yeah I don't need any of that I don't need to deal with that I do have only two

[00:52:45] three four more questions okay uh number one who is your chief financial officer you know their name Sarah Sarah Sarah she uh she's really good at what she does um we call her

[00:53:01] money bags um for short uh Sarah money bags and um you know she worked with a few banks and stuff but overall she's just like she what a few banks she worked oh yeah yeah yeah does a few money things

[00:53:17] on the side if you uh if you know what I mean oh she works the banks right yeah she works them where do you think we got over capital or that's right I was wondering yeah yeah yeah uh so we'll

[00:53:29] call her Sarah okay and an anonymity um you know I can't let her I can't let her true identity get out there yeah because she's wanted in eight countries oh um but she loves dogs and that's what brought her

[00:53:46] to the land which I think I think it's a uniting it's a uniting feature so if you're a dog lover you can get away with most at least financial crimes I cannot confirm nor deny that

[00:53:59] sir yeah um voice in my head yeah because um but yeah pretty much that's fine you do as long as I gotta cut as long as I gotta cut of the dogs no the money oh sorry sorry yeah what I didn't know

[00:54:13] I wasn't sure I didn't know where that was going okay you do you do have a knock on the door knock knock knock I'm ready uh knock knock knock yes yes hello let me open the door

[00:54:29] hello there it's Sarah money bags Sarah thank you for coming hello I have some good news for you yeah it's the AO I was checking the books and it looks like we have a lot of money we I was

[00:54:44] checking the bottom line we have 40 billion wow that's amazing hey you're welcome thank you yeah uh I do just want to say to you that your citizens your approval rating is back up to 95 to be honest

[00:54:59] we got Coco out there she worked the crowd as she always does yeah everyone loves you Coco your approval ratings very high your people really really want to build you some sort of

[00:55:11] monument which honor to honor you in your name you're the creative person they would like to know what you would like to have built in your honor we're gonna put a lot of money behind us

[00:55:23] oh it's gonna be nice and I have to do that Sarah it's more for them it's really they wouldn't want like a cut of the money to go no but they really want to celebrate you you know it's

[00:55:38] nice to celebrate someone you love okay um well I'm thinking my smile is one of my best features yes because it just I radiate joy yeah basically and I think we need something that was like a big

[00:55:59] picture of me smiling so that when people look at it they just yes girl yes yeah yeah like I want I want that reaction from people when they're feeling sad they can come to the monument and get a dose

[00:56:11] of happiness so it's just your smile not the whole face oh no sorry a face oh I thought it was just a big smile no no with with my big smile so it's gonna be Eiffel Tower oh wait you're my

[00:56:26] wait are you growling sorry you look like oh okay is that not a smile to you um if you do not if you're if you're smiling and hungry yeah which is normal for me yeah yeah

[00:56:40] yes we can have a hungry smile yeah I'm hungry for life that you've just seen a candyland rope or whatever it's called sugar rope yes yeah I'm also high on that high enough yeah sugar up yeah that's

[00:56:55] what calls the scandal okay we've been like an Eiffel Tower big solid gold I love it yeah yeah it has to probably need to be either equal size to Coco's um head on the mountain or just like it can't it

[00:57:12] shouldn't be bigger than hers do you think you think your head is bigger than Coco's now she's a lot of fur it's possible at the same size yeah um but yeah okay we yeah yeah no no no

[00:57:26] we can we can make it I mean it'll be a solid gold head anyway right solid gold I mean if this collapses over and we'll make sure I want but if it doesn't it will it will crush many things

[00:57:37] that sounds that sounds brilliant yeah so anyone who dare cross my path you can just roll it yes yeah yeah yeah we can get right to work on that okay um that's probably okay I'll start out peace

[00:57:52] sorry I had a cat jump up again this is Hopper hi Hopper Hopper might sit here with me for the rest of the podcast um you do get an email in okay

[00:58:04] it's good news yay most most of these are good news by the way um the studio who made old school yes they are actually making a sequel oh my god shut up called new school new school okay um it's

[00:58:18] actually called new is cool okay you you'll get this in a second if I if I work this well my god I'm clever they're making new is cool because it's actually a musical oh stop it yeah see how that

[00:58:32] somehow works love it yeah thank you you're doing so they were wondering could they film on your island as long as I am the star oh well they were asking on it they were going to ask just for a cameo but I

[00:58:44] mean yeah they're on board if you're if you're gonna be part of yes I have not become the chief artistic officer of my own island and also be unemployed this is the end game yes it's all

[00:58:58] it's all yes who you know so that's fantastic yes come and I will do it for you and we will be amazing this is great okay we are doing a full on musical um you know the the oh god what was the plot

[00:59:14] of god in old school they were in a frat house right yeah frat house and um and oh they needed to keep the the frat in order to do some to yeah it was the older people in college was there a plot

[00:59:31] or was it just because it was funny I don't even know I think it was some vague thing of how do we get like middle-aged men like dads and stuff in the college oh it's to save or someone or the guy needed

[00:59:42] to keep his house and then it became it was like part of a college campus and yeah he needed to be a frat in order to oh yes so that's happened but this is now sorority house okay yeah brilliant

[00:59:58] um that it's that it's your house that has now you need turned into a sorority house okay fuck I'm gonna might have to sing in this yeah go please serenade me that's not a joyful at all okay

[01:00:12] so honestly there's going to be a lot of improv we're gonna improvise this thing this this thing yeah sure um so you know the one of the first scenes we're just gonna do which is you walking

[01:00:25] outside your house and seeing the newspaper saying that this area is turning into a campus and then I'm your neighbor what you think your neighbor's name is brody brody I am brody

[01:00:37] and I have several dogs okay um I tell you better start this as you pick up the paper and see what's just good morning world good morning oh hi brody hi what the fuck's your name in did

[01:00:54] you read today's headline I sure did and it doesn't make me happy oh fuck that it makes me randy it makes me excited for panting tell us why bro I don't know the beat I don't know what to do about it, Brody.

[01:01:25] But what can I do about it, Brody? What do you think? What do you think, Brody? Come on, tell me. I don't fucking even know the beat to this. I've got an idea. It's really weird. It might involve you, but none of the ears.

[01:01:47] Oh my god, do you know that Zoom came up while I was singing? And it was like, are you playing music? Do you want to set up your professional audio in your audio settings? And I'm like, no, I don't. Mine came up saying the connection is unstable.

[01:01:59] Which is a story about my whole life. Which is, yeah. The fuck, I can't do this. Anyway, um... You can't hear me. Oh my god, this is how I'm feeling throughout the whole thing though. This is now about Brody. This is now about Brody going, I can't sing.

[01:02:13] I've lost the ability to sing. Oh my god, well that's where I come in. I'm going to help you Brody. I'm going to get your voice out there into the world and we're going to save the sorority house. But Candy, you have to be in a sorority house

[01:02:27] to get into music school. I do? I mean, I do, yeah. Like, I would need to be in a sorority house. God, that story could turn out about you turning your house into a sorority house so Brody can join it so he can then pass music school

[01:02:43] and help to sing. There we go, as always giving back to the community. Yeah, just hiding there. Okay, I will let you know that we're quickly moving on and I will never do music again. Thank you very much, I was enjoyable. You did very well. You were amazing.

[01:03:01] No, I'm not fishing for compliments. No, you were amazing. Okay, I'll take it, thank you. So, there is a knock on your door. Another one? Yes, hello. Sarah Moneybags. Hi there. I have something quickly to tell you and I'm going on holiday for nine weeks to Serbia. Okay.

[01:03:25] Yeah, just going, dropping this in, your big head is golden and constructed. Thank you. Cast a lot of money, looks really nice though, big smile. I did check the finances, it turns out there was a minus sign when I said there was 40 billion.

[01:03:43] So, actually we were in debt by 40 billion. So, the IMF are looking to see like, oh, what's going on, how are you going to make money? The country is broke. We spent 10 billion making the monuments and now we're minus 50 billion in debt.

[01:03:55] I'll leave it with you, I'm going to go on holiday. Sarah, don't you dare. What? I am ordering you to stay right here, you're not going anywhere, ma'am. Hey, don't tell me what I'm not allowed to legally do. I saved up those holidays. But I am the CAO

[01:04:13] and you are my money person. Tiefel? Oh yes, no. Well, you are the ruder, you can bust me around but... Yeah, I am. Come on, you're not going anywhere. Why? Because we need to fix this. I've worked like a dog for you

[01:04:29] and in this culture working like a dog is the greatest honour you can do. So, I've done that for... Yeah, why are you punishing me? Because I... You can go on vacation once you figure this out but this is a lot of money to be in debt.

[01:04:43] It is. I agree. Can we just break off my sculpture and give people some gold? Or if it's fully gold we can break it off and pay our debts. That doesn't get back 10 billion though. We're minus 50 billion. So, are you saying that I need to go

[01:05:01] on a world tour to see people nightly and perform my stage show so that we can give money back to the community? You could do that. That's a good idea. I would say if you're doing that, honestly I'd send Coco. Coco is the popular one.

[01:05:21] And she's a deity so people will be throwing money. Can I do the opening act? Do people just not want to see me at all? Am I just done? I think they just want to get into the religion. They don't want to come any.

[01:05:33] Are you going to send Coco off around the world? I would really miss her. Can I go live with her? This is like are you shipping her dog off? No, I love her. I don't want to ship her off and she likes being home. But I guess

[01:05:51] if that's what we need to do for the country then she can go on tour and I can be her stage mama. So you're leaving the country as well? If it looks like you're leaving the country for a while? If it looks like you're abandoning a ship?

[01:06:03] The CFO is leaving for nine weeks if you leave for a couple of months. She's still going. Sarah, why did I even trust you? You let Sarah get on the plane and go? Well she's really convincing. Yeah. So she wants... We need the money. Coco maybe can do

[01:06:27] two weeks here and then come back and three weeks doesn't have to be a full on. You won't see for two years. Yeah, but then again in the dog house all the fluff monsters are growing at the moment so we have a whole cabana full of other.

[01:06:45] You're not replacing Coco? No, no, no. I just want to make sure. No, but they are adding to... To the stage show? That sounds fantastic. Coco and Friends. That's not too bad. God, do you want to write this show about Coco and Friends?

[01:07:05] It might be a good idea. People listening are going to be like why are they so obsessed with her dog? The dog is fucking amazing people and that's on you. The dog looks fucking wonderful. Okay, so we're going to send Coco off

[01:07:21] so we can go to the hospital and we'll send Coco off. Sarah is having a lovely time in Serbia for nine weeks in a hotel. Loads of money, I don't know where she got that from but that's fine. And then... Yeah, I do have one last question

[01:07:37] but it's many years into the future. Yes. You actually find out funny enough after the nine weeks. Sarah comes home and she just knocks on your door again. Hi Sarah, thanks for coming back. He's very tend and relaxed. Lovely weather in Serbia and Belgrade. I just checked that

[01:07:57] budget again. That wasn't a minus sign, it was a plus sign. Sarah! Sorry, I forgot my glasses. Oh Sarah. Plus, I was a little bit drunk that day. A little bit. Sarah, I should have known. It was a Friday, I came back from lunch. Summer Fridays, okay.

[01:08:19] What's the money? You put me through heartaches Sarah. I need to go get Coco, she's off on tour at the moment so I'm going to have to go figure it out. She's been on tour for like ten weeks. Yeah. Well thank you. You're welcome, anytime.

[01:08:35] I'm going on holiday next week by the way. Can I come with you? I'm so tired. It's hard ruling a country. The intricacies of ruling a country. After many years though you have to think about it. You have to think about an heir.

[01:08:51] Someone to take over the running of Candyland. I'm wondering who would you pick as an heir? It has to be someone who is actually alive. Someone can't be a hypothetical great-great-granduncle. Who do I think would make a good heir to the throne? Do you have an actual throne?

[01:09:07] Well, yeah. I could run out. It's really comfy. Sometimes I just have to think about it. Yeah, but it's really comfy. Sometimes you look at the throne and you actually want to sit on that. The one they have in Westminster or whatever? Yeah, it doesn't look like...

[01:09:25] I want like a flush nice thing that you just want to sink into. Yeah. I think my niece she is really into animals and I think she would really like love taking over. She's really smart, so I'd say her. Um

[01:09:53] I'm going to end this on a nice note. Oh no even. Just wondering if your niece becomes the new Chief Artistic Officer or whatever title she decides. Yeah, whatever she decides. I'll just say she's allowed to build an island

[01:10:09] just like the dog island that we named Cork Island. What are animals would she keep there? Horses. Yeah, she loves horses and dogs but I think we have horses for her. Now two islands and two gods. A horse and a dog god on the island.

[01:10:23] We need these places in the world. See? There's no hidden motive behind that. Everything worked out fine. There's no poachers or anything. They've been warded off. You sure? Absolutely. There's no more... So Candice, first thank you very much for a lovely island

[01:10:45] with a bit of a dodgy scandal in the middle but it ended with a nice musical and horses and dogs living happily ever after. Thank you very much for being on the podcast and I'm just wondering where do people find you online if they wanted to question you?

[01:10:59] Um my website is www.candicepaladino.com Woo! Woo! And sometimes I post pictures of Coco on my Instagram at CandicePaladino and see if you could probably find me there. Just being silly. Yeah, I have to make sure I'm following you on Instagram. You need to get a video.

[01:11:23] Um and you're still on Twitter, right? Oh I am, yes. At CandiePaladino. Yeah but I didn't... I don't really appreciate that. Um my full name, like all the letters on Twitter slash X but you could on Instagram. Because they only gave you a certain amount of

[01:11:45] letters when I made my my hashtag, what my at symbol or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was pretty weird. Okay, this is the end of the podcast and see you then, nice little horses and dogs. Thank you very much for listening everyone.

[01:12:01] Before we go as an outro, what would you tell people about your final words as you I guess go on holiday and forget being a ruler forever? What's your words of wisdom? Follow your heart and make sure whatever you do daily brings you joy and love.